


A Name In The Wind

by DimensionTripperHomura



Category: Love Live! School Idol Project, Love Live! Sunshine!!
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-12
Updated: 2018-04-23
Packaged: 2018-12-01 03:44:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 30
Words: 229,427
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11477925
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DimensionTripperHomura/pseuds/DimensionTripperHomura
Summary: Based loosely around the movie Kimi No Na Wa. Honoka and Chika find themselves linked in an unusual way and build up a connection over time, helping (and hindering) each other in the process.EDITED UPLOAD OF CHAPTER SIX BECAUSE I POSTED THE WRONG CHAPTER.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Likely ships: ChikaHono, HonoMaki (ChikaMaki), HonoUmi, ChikaRiko (HonoRiko), NozoEli.

Honoka groaned as she woke to the insistent beeping of her alarm clock. “Too early…” She mumbled, pulling her pillow over her head. Vaguely she noticed that it smelled different than usual but she didn’t pay much attention to it. She was more focused on the insistent beeping. She could feel herself being dragged further into consciousness with every passing beep.   
  
“Five more minutes.” She mumbled, rolling over. She threw her arm over the edge of the bed like she always did, expecting her hand to hit the snooze button. It didn’t. It hit the floor instead and she jerked into a sitting position. “HUH?!”  
  
Even in her dazed state she recognized that she wasn’t in her own bed. Or in any bed. She was lying in an unfamiliar futon, in a very unfamiliar room. “What…” She felt different too somehow. She looked down at herself, trying to figure out what was wrong. “E-Eh?!” She lifted her hands to her chest. Her breasts certainly weren’t that big when she went to sleep. She shook her head, her stomach sinking when she felt a strange absence. Her hand went to her hair and she ran her fingers through it, finding it only came to shoulder length. “EEEEHHH?!”

The door across the room flew open suddenly and she looked up in time to see an older girl with a furious look on her face standing there. “Huh…?” She didn’t have time to question who the girl was before the girl in question rushed toward her, tackling her back onto the futon.   
  
“HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU NOT TO CAUSE A RACKET?!”  
  
Honoka yelped as she found herself pushed back onto the futon, an arm pressed across her chest to hold her there.  
  
“Chika-chan got Mito-san angry…” Another girl’s voice sounded.   
  
The arrival of someone new only scared Honoka more but thankfully the girl trying to rough house with her seemed to calm down.   
  
“Get ready for school.” She scowled, pushing herself to her feet. “You’ll be late for…whatever you said you were doing.”  
  
“Huh?!” Honoka pushed herself into a sitting position. “IT’S MONDAY?!”  
  
“Damn it, stop yelling!”  
  
“It’s going to be one of those days.” You sighed and stepped into the room before Mito could do anything else to Chika. “Riko-chan is waiting for us at the bus stop. Get dressed Chika-chan!”  
  
“Eeeeh?!” Honoka jumped to her feet, ready to protest only to catch a glimpse of her reflection in the mirror across the room. Just as it had seemed her hair was much shorter. It was a similar color but the length was completely wrong. “What happened to my hair?! A-And my face. And…”  
  
She was completely different. Not even her face was her own.   
  
“Your face is fine, Chika-chan. Now hurry up and get dressed.” You said, her brow furrowed in confusion.   
  
Honoka turned toward You, catching a glimpse of a poster on the door. It was her, and the rest of Muse. “That’s me…”  
  
“What?” You glanced over her shoulder at the poster and sighed when she noticed what Chika was talking about. They really didn’t have the time. “Yeah, we know. You want to be just like Muse. Now hurry up. Riko-chan is going to…” She was cut off by the sound of an incoming call to Chika’s phone. “That’ll be her complaining that we’re late. We won’t be able to practice if you don’t hurry.”  
  
Honoka padded over to the phone, almost automatically, and picked it up, finding Riko’s picture on the screen. “She’s pretty…”  
  
You rolled her eyes. “I’m sure she’ll be happy to hear that from you. Now come on and you can tell her yourself. It might keep her from yelling at us. Just pick up.”  
  
“R-Right!” Honoka laughed nervously and answered the call. “Hello?”  
  
“Chika-chan, where are you?!” Riko asked loudly. “I’ve been waiting here for…”  
  
Honoka panicked and took the phone away from her ear, hurriedly ending the call.   
  
“YOU HUNG UP ON HER?!” You asked, earning herself an angry growl from Mito. “S-Sorry. Come on, Chika-chan. Get dressed. Please?”  
  
“R-Right.” Honoka wasn’t sure what was going on but she figured it was best to try to act normal. She found a uniform hung up across the room and turning her back to You, changed quickly. Automatically she tugged a section of her hair up into a side half ponytail.   
  
“Uh…new look?” You asked from the doorway, confused by the change. For as long as she’d known her Chika had always worn her hair the same way. “You’re acting weirder than usual. Are you alright?”  
  
“I am!” Honoka exclaimed quickly. “I-I just felt like a change.”  
  
You narrowed her eyes suspiciously. “You sounded just like a city girl there, Chika-chan…”  
  
“Uh…I guess I’ve been watching too many dramas. It’s nothing. L-Let’s go!”  
  
You led the way out of the door, looking back to make sure Honoka was following her. “Chika-chan, are you still upset about what the student council president said yesterday?”  
  
“Who?”  
  
“So you are.” You said with a sigh. “Don’t let it get you down. She might come around yet…” She mistook Honoka’s confused look for scepticism. “I know. It’s a longshot. She really hates the idea of an idol group…”  
  
“Idols…?” Honoka mumbled, mostly to herself as she followed You out of the door. “Huh…”  
  
“Do you want to try to talk to her again?” You suggested. “We have Riko-chan now.”  
  
“Riko-chan’s the pretty one, with Umi’s eyes.” Honoka said to herself, trying to commit the name and face to memory. She realized in alarm that she didn’t know the name of the girl she was speaking to. “Um…hey. We’re friends, aren’t we?”  
  
“Of course. Best friends.” You flashed Chika a small smile despite her concern. “Though if you keep calling Riko-chan pretty I might take offence.”  
  
“O-Oh, I-I mean you’re pretty too!” Honoka said quickly, not wanting to offend the girl in front of her. “So um…I mean just to remind me, what’s your name again?”  
  
“Seriously, Chika?” You asked in exasperation. “What’s wrong with you? Did you hit your head or something?”  
  
“W-Well that girl did tackle me before…” Honoka said, hoping her excuse worked.   
  
“You mean Mito-san. One of your older sisters.” You reminded her carefully. “Whatever. My name’s You, remember?”  
  
“Ah, yeah. You-chan.” Honoka said with a nervous laugh. “Of course.”  
  
“Look Chika-chan, let’s just hurry up.” You said, exasperated. “Hopefully you’ll feel better when we find Riko-chan.”  
  
“Okay!” Honoka exclaimed, picking up her pace along with You. It didn’t take them more than ten minutes to get to the bus stop where Riko was waiting anxiously.

“Where have you been?!” Riko exclaimed when she caught sight of them. “I’ve been waiting for you for almost forty minutes!”  
  
“Chika-chan woke up late and started yelling.” You said, glancing at Chika. “So she got into a fight with Mito-san, hit her head and then she forgot my name. Not yours though, she keeps rambling on about how pretty you are.” She grinned at Chika whose eyes widened.   
  
Riko on the other hand blushed in response. “W-What? Chika-chan, are you okay? Why is your hair different today?”  
  
“Sure, n-now let’s go to practice!” Honoka started to walk right past the bus stop only for You to grab her arm.   
  
“We have to take the bus, remember? It’s too far to walk.” You said pointedly.   
  
“Ah, of course.” Honoka smiled. She turned to the road, her hands clasped behind her back and waited patiently for the bus, trying not to glance at the other two girls. They reminded her of Umi and Kotori, in a way. It only made her miss her friends.   
  
—  
  
“Onee-chan, you’re going to be late! Did you forget to set you alarm clock again?”  
  
Chika groaned and turned over, bringing the blankets back over her head. It was only when the insistent knocking at the door continued that she sat up with a weary sigh. “I’m up!”  
  
The door opened across the room and Chika looked in that direction, faltering when a dark haired girl walked into the room. “Huh?”  
  
“Onee-chan.” Yukiho said disapprovingly, crossing her arms in front of her chest. “You promised Umi-san and Kotori-san you’d leave early. They’re waiting outside for you now.”  
  
“Huh?” Chika said again. She cast a quick glance around, realizing that she didn’t recognize the room she was in. “What…Umi-chan? Kotori-chan?” The names were all too familiar and she quickly jumped out of bed - noticing she’d been in one rather than on a futon - and rushed to the mirror. Her eyes widened when she found the face of the girl she idolized staring back at her. “Oh…Oh!” She lifted her hand to her much longer hair, playing with the ends.   
  
“HONOKA!”  
  
“Honoka-chaaaan!”  
  
“Hmm?” Hearing someone calling from the window, Chika went over and threw it open, looking down at the street. There were two girls standing there, both of whom she recognised. “I-I’ll be right down!” She closed the window quickly and turned to Yukiho who was watching her skeptically. “I’m going to Otonokizaka! I get to wear the uniform!”  
  
“You’re…weirder than usual.” Yukiho commented before she turned and left the room.   
  
Chika didn’t pay any attention to the comment, turning to dress in Honoka’s school uniform. It had to be some kind of dream. The kind of dream where it’s obvious it’s a dream but she didn’t care. She was in the body of the person she admired most and she was going to Otonokizaka high. She didn’t care about anything else. As quickly as she could, she brushed her teeth in the bathroom and hurried off down the stairs, grabbing her bag. “I’m off!”  
  
She didn’t wait for a response before she was out of the door, heading toward Kotori and Umi. “Sorry I’m late!”  
  
“Your hair is down…” Umi said faintly, staring at Honoka’s hair. While half of it would usually be up in a ponytail at the side, it was completely down, falling freely over Honoka’s shoulder. Somehow it made her look even prettier, especially coupled with the excited smile on her face.   
  
“Ah, I felt like a change!” Chika exclaimed brightly. “Do you like it?”  
  
Umi blushed and looked away, giving a vague nod while Kotori smiled knowingly at her.   
  
“It looks good, Honoka-chan. But we don’t match anymore.” Kotori pouted as she stepped forward and used her fingers to gently sweep Honoka’s hair to the side so it looked more styled. “There.”  
  
Umi bit her lip as she watched. She wished she could do that but she’d never been as bold as Kotori. Not even with the girl she liked. Not even with Honoka.   
  
“Thanks, Kotori-chan.” Chika said with a small smile before she looked toward Umi.   
  
“You look nice.” Umi confirmed again, trying to push down her embarrassment. She would never be able to muster up the courage to tell Honoka she liked her if she couldn’t even compliment her. “P-Pretty even…”  
  
“Thank you, Umi-chan!” Chika bound over to give Umi a hug but stopped a couple of steps away “Ah…can I hug you?”  
  
“What? Why?” Umi asked, shocked. She looked over Honoka’s shoulder as Kotori cleared her throat, finding her best friend shaking her head. “I-I mean of course. You don’t have to ask.”  
  
Chika grinned and flung her arms around Umi, hugging her close.   
  
Hugging Honoka was like being engulfed in warmth. A warmth she never wanted to leave. Umi wrapped her arms around Honoka in return and rested her head on her shoulder, breathing in her scent. It ended far too quickly for her liking as Honoka pulled away and started off down the road.   
  
“Come on!”  
  
Kotori joined Umi, smiling warmly at her. “You two are so cute.”  
  
“Kotori…” Umi grumbled in embarrassment though she had to admit that it was comforting to have Kotori’s support. She hadn’t been sure how her best friend would react to her feelings for Honoka. All three of them were close after all, but Kotori had been happy about it. She’d even said she would do anything in her power to help Umi win Honoka’s love.   
  
—  
  
Chika sighed as she looked over the pile of paperwork in front of her. She’d thought they would be going to school early so they could do something idol related, like practice. She’d spent the entire walk to school daydreaming about being able to learn from Muse. Even if it was all in her imagination.   
  
Umi and Kotori were hard at work, Umi writing something down while Kotori was talking about the pros and cons of having certain clubs at the school. Chika vaguely wondered if having to do boring student council work was the reason Dia was so angry all of the time.   
  
“I’m going to the bathroom.” She declared suddenly, standing up from her seat. Two surprised stares turned toward her. “Heh. I won’t be long.” She hurried around the desk and left the room, closing the door behind her. As soon as she was out, she breathed a sigh of relief. The sound of a piano playing caused her to straighten up.   
  
“Music…” She murmured to herself. She listened for a moment before deciding to follow the sound. She walked down the hallway, finding the music getting louder with every step she took. Finally she found herself standing in front of the music room. She carefully opened the door and stepped inside. The girl behind the piano had her eyes closed so she didn’t notice the intrusion.   
  
The first thing Chika noticed was that the girl was pretty. Oddly pretty. She looked a lot like Riko though her hair was brighter than Riko’s was. Chika wondered if it was the piano playing that made her look more like Riko than she actually did.   
  
The girl, who Chika soon recognized as Nishikino Maki, was singing softly, mostly to herself as she played and Chika couldn’t help but smile at the sound. The girl’s voice was distinctive, easy to recognize.   
  
“Maki-chan?!” She couldn’t hold herself back for very long, overwhelmed at meeting one of her idols. “Hot and cool, Maki-chan?!”  
  
Maki’s eyes sprung open as she stopped playing. “Eh?! Honoka, what the hell are you doing here? A-And hot and cool?”  
  
“Your personality.” Chika practically skipped over to Maki, her hands clasped behind her back. “This song sounds so much better when you sing it acoustically. Will you sing it again for me, Maki-chan?” Without waiting for an invitation, she sat herself down on the piano bench next to Maki. “You should make a playlist of all of your songs. Piano versions so I can listen to you sing all of the time.”  
  
“What?!” Maki asked incredulously, her face flushing at Honoka’s close proximity. She shuffled closer to the edge of the bench. “W-Why are you even here?!”  
  
“I just wanted to hear the great Maki-chan play.” Chika said with a shrug of her shoulders. “Your playing is beautiful.” She wondered if it was biased to say she preferred Riko’s. Maki was probably just as good, if not better, but Chika felt like she could get lost in the music when Riko played. It felt like every note was played for her when Riko played, though she knew that wasn’t the case.   
  
“H-Honoka…” Maki turned her head, flinching when she found Honoka sitting as oddly close as she had been before. She felt herself start to fall and grabbed onto Honoka, pulling her with her.   
  
She hit the floor hard, Honoka on top of her. “O-Ouch…”  
  
Chika braced herself with her hand against the floor and leaned back to really look at Maki. She really was pretty, she noticed, though she didn’t look much like Riko. Her hair was too bright and her eyes weren’t the same. Riko’s eyes were golden brown, not the bright violet that Maki’s were.   
  
As Maki shifted underneath her, it occurred to Chika that it might not be a dream after all. The soft swell of Maki’s breasts brushing against her and the warmth of their legs touching was evidence enough of that. Not to mention the slight pain in her knees from the fall.   
  
“Honoka, stop staring and get OFF ME!” Maki exclaimed, pushing against Honoka’s shoulders.   
  
Chika laughed nervously and stood up. “S-Sorry, you’re just so pretty I couldn’t help it.” She offered her hand to Maki, her gaze sweeping over her. The way Maki was sitting, with her knees up made it easy for Chika to see things she most likely wasn’t meant to. “So Maki-chan wears pink underwear…”  
  
“Argh, HONOKA!” Maki pushed herself up on her own, her cheeks flaming in embarrassment as she quickly pushed her skirt down. “You’re such a PERVERT!”  
  
“Eh?” Chika looked surprised at first but quickly relaxed into a smile. “Just when it comes to Maki-chan.”  
  
“THAT’S NOT WHAT I WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU!” Maki yelled, consciously covering herself. She was more embarrassed by the fact that it was strangely satisfying to have Honoka look at her. “I’m gonna tell Umi and Kotori how much of a pervert you are.”  
  
“I’m not a pervert…though I guess I understand the ‘hot’ part of your nickname now. Maki-chan is…” She was cut off as Maki stepped forward and slapped her, not too hard but hard enough to sting. Her hand flew to her suddenly much too warm cheek. “Oooow, Maki-chan…”  
  
“You’re such an idiot.” Maki said though she sounded more upset than angry now. “You can’t just say things like that. You have to at least…at least show an interest first. You can’t ignore me most of the time then come and say those things…”  
  
“What?” Chika asked, baffled.   
  
“IDIOT!” Maki exclaimed again before she grabbed her bag and fled the room, leaving Chika staring after her in confusion, rubbing her sore face.   
  
—-  
  
“You’re sure you’re ready for this?” You asked, recalling what had happened the last time Chika had spoken with Dia. It hadn’t gone well, to say the least.   
  
“Uh…yeah.” Honoka answered, still a bit shaken by the incident earlier. She wasn’t sure how she was meant to react after almost being run over by a helicopter. She was confident about being able to speak to the student council president though. “I know how to handle stubborn student council presidents.”  
  
“Since when?” You asked skeptically as Riko raised an eyebrow.   
  
“Uh…Nothing.” Honoka answered sheepishly. “Nevermind. Let’s just do this.” She took a deep breath before she knocked briefly on the door and pushed it open. “Sorry to…”  
  
“Mari-san, get out of my chair!” A dark haired girl was saying, trying to prise a blonde girl from her seat.   
  
“Nooooo!” The blonde didn’t seem in any mood to move. “I sat here first, Dia!”  
  
“It’s MY CHAIR!” Dia exclaimed loudly. “I have work to do, you can’t stay in here all day!”  
  
“I can, I’m the chairman!” Mari leaned away from Dia, doing her utmost to keep from being prised away from the chair she’d situated herself in. “Unhand me, Dia!”  
  
“UNHAND MY CHAIR!”  
  
Honoka’s gaze flicked between the two of them as she tried to follow along with the conversation. It wasn’t easy. It was like listening to Nico and Nozomi arguing.   
  
“Hey, you’re the crazy girl who almost ran us over!” Honoka’s moment of realization interrupted Mari’s arguing with Dia and they both turned to her. “You almost kill-”  
  
“SHINY!” Mari finally vacated Dia’s chair but only to get closer to the three girls. “I’m the new director!”  
  
“What?” Honoka narrowed her eyes at the girl. Even she found that difficult to believe. “The new director?”  
  
“Yes!” Mari exclaimed in a high pitched voice that made Honoka want to block her ears. “But relax, feel free to call me ‘Mari’.”  
  
“But…” You started to say only to be cut off my Mari.   
  
“Want some tea?”  
  
“This isn’t real…” Honoka muttered to herself, casting a brief glance toward Dia. If it had been Eli she would have taken control of the situation and kicked Mari out already. Or at least tried to. “Ms. director…”  
  
Suddenly the blonde was right in front of her. “I said to call me Mari.”  
  
“Uh…Mari.” Honoka said, forcing a smile to her lips.   
  
“Yes!” Mari exclaimed brightly, leaning even closer to Honoka’s face.   
  
“Y-You-chan…” Honoka turned to You, confused and frustrated. “What’s happening?”  
  
“I wish I knew.” You answered, just as perplexed as her friend.   
  
“Stop touching my chest!” Dia’s voice caught Honoka’s attention and she turned back to where Mari had previously been standing, finding her a few steps back, her hands on the Student Council President’s chest. The blonde was hurriedly pushed away. “Stop your nonsense!”  
  
“It’s a joke!” Mari stated brightly, in English.   
  
Honoka sighed to herself. Clearly Dia wasn’t as strict as Eli or even Umi. “The Student Council President is Nico-chan…”  
  
“Goodness, I thought you were gone for good when you left during our first year.” Dia spoke. “Why on earth are you back now?”  
  
“SHINY!” Mari exclaimed, throwing the curtains open.   
  
“No. No way…” Honoka turned to leave only for Riko and You to grab her arms, tugging her back to them. “ _She’s crazy_!”  
  
“Aww, don’t say mean things!” Mari exclaimed. “I even got you a booking at the Akiba bowl in Tokyo!”  
  
Honoka spun around in surprise, finding Mari standing in front of her again. “Are you serious?! Even Mu-”  
  
“It’s joke!”  
  
“That’s not something to joke about!” Honoka exclaimed angrily. She rubbed her throbbing temples, sighing to herself and wondered when she would wake up. It was just a bad dream. It had to be.   
  
—  
Honoka had turned up late for class, predictably though what took Umi by surprise was the red mark on her cheek. It was clearly a handprint, like someone had slapped her. After Honoka had apologized to the teacher and sat down, Umi leaned toward her.   
  
“What did you do?” She hissed. “Who hit you?”  
  
“Ah…Maki-chan.” Chika admitted, rubbing her cheek. She noticed her bag was hanging on her chair and assumed either Kotori or Umi must have brought it for her. “It’s fine.”

“Maki-chan?” Kotori turned around to look at Honoka, frowning at the sight of her cheek. “What did you do? She’s been calmer since our first training camp…”  
  
Chika whimpered and rested her head on the desk. Already, she was messing up.   
  
“Honoka…” Umi’s hand twitched at her side. She wanted to reach out to her but she didn’t think she could muster up the courage.   
  
“Sonoda-san, Minami-san, Kousaka-san, please pay attention.” The teacher declared from the front of the class, causing Umi to sit up straight.   
  
Chika sighed heavily. The pain in her cheek felt real. Much too real for it to be a dream of any kind.   
  
“Kousaka-san, do you need to go to the nurse?”  
  
It took Chika a moment to realize she was being spoken. “Y-Yes.” She stood up from her chair, grabbing her bag. “Thank you.”  
  
“Put an ice pack on it!” Umi whispered in concern as Chika passed her desk.  
  
Chika nodded to show she heard before she left the room, closing the door behind her. She supposed that it was a good thing she was in the same year as Honoka at least. She would never have been able to handle third year work. Not that she had to at the moment.   
  
“Honoka?”  
  
Finding her path blocked suddenly, Chika looked up and found a tall blonde standing in front of her. “Uh…”  
  
“What happened to your face?” Eli asked, her eyes widening at the sight of the mark. “Come on, I’ll take a look at it.”  
  
“O-Okay.” Chika barely had time to agree before Eli had grabbed her hand and dragged her off down the hallway. She found herself pulled into a room filled with posters of idols and looked around in awe. “Whoa…”  
  
“Let me see.” Eli gripped Honoka’s chin and gently tilted her head so she could examine her cheek. “Who did this?” Her voice was clipped with barely restrained anger. “Another student?”  
  
“I’m in the clubroom?” Chika asked in awe as she took in the walls, lined with DVD box sets and idol merchandise. “Muse’s clubroom?!”  
  
“Honoka, pay attention.” Eli ordered, drawing Chika’s attention back to her. “Who did this?”  
  
“S-Sorry, Eli-chan. Uh…it was Maki-chan.”  
  
“Huh?” Eli’s brow furrowed in confused. “Chan? Why are you…?”  
  
Chika’s eyes widened in surprise. She must have stepped out of line. “Eli-san?”  
  
“San?” Eli frowned, even more confused now.   
  
“I uh…” Chika panicked for a moment, trying to figure out what she was doing wrong. “S-Senpai?” She watched as Eli nodded, still looking confused. “Eli-senpai! O-Okay…”  
  
“Did you get hit anywhere else?” Eli was suddenly closer, looking for any sign that she’d been hit on the head. “Your hair is down. Why is your hair down?”  
  
“I-I felt like a change. You…don’t like it?” Chika, realizing that she was about to be found out, scrambled for a way to distract Eli. She settled for looking slightly upset.   
  
“N-No, it’s fine. I just like your normal hairstyle too.” Eli said with a quick shake of her head.   
  
“You smell sweet.” Chika said as Eli continued to look for any sign that she had hurt herself.   
  
“I ate chocolate earlier.” Eli explained, slightly embarrassed. “So anyway, why did Maki-chan hit you? You must have done something pretty embarrassing.”  
  
“Uh…I might have fallen on top of her. And I saw her panties. And I suggested she’s hot.” Chika awkwardly scratched the back of her head. “I wasn’t being rude or anything, I just…”  
  
“It’s Maki-chan. Of course she hit you for that.” Eli said with a roll of her eyes. “Wait…since when do you notice things like that? You’re Honoka. The girl who didn’t even notice when a classmate wrote her a love letter. And you just called Maki hot.  _Hot_ , Honoka!”  
  
“Uh…I notice, I just don’t say anything.” Chika said nervously. “A-And I like Maki-chan. She’s passionate and caring and…pretty.” She reminded her a lot of Riko, which she supposed was why she liked her.   
  
“Right.” Eli said skeptically.   
  
“Oh, um…Eli-senpai.” Chika started apprehensively. “Just so I know, um…where is Nozomi-senpai?” She hoped she was right in saying that. She had to imagine that the only people she would refer to as Senpai were Eli and Nozomi.   
  
“You don’t call her Nozomi-senpai.” Eli said with a wave of her hand. “And stop changing the subject. You like Maki?”  
  
“Yes!” Chika pulled her phone - or rather, Honoka’s phone out of her pocket and quickly unlocked the screen, going through the gallery until she found a certain picture. “See? I took this picture of her because she’s cute.”  
  
Eli looked to the phone, taking in the picture of Maki sleeping at her piano. “You took pictures of Umi and Kotori too. You called it ‘My cute friends’ or something…seriously Honoka, what’s going on with you?”  
  
The bell rang just as Chika opened her mouth to reply. “S-Sorry, I have to get back to class!” She hurried out of the room, bumping into a shorter girl who was about to enter.   
  
“The hell Honoka?!”  
  
“Uh…sorry, who are you?”  
  
“What?!” Nico rose up to full height, anger flashing across her face. “Are you fucking kidding me right now?!”  
  
“Eeeeh?!” Chika flinched backwards, startled by the girl’s anger.   
  
“How can you forget my name? I’m Nico Nii!”   
  
“Ah, right!” Chika exclaimed. She felt somewhat guilty. She always forgot the pig haired girl’s name. “S-Sorry, usually someone has to remind…ah, I didn’t mean it! I was just thinking out loud a-and…I have to go!”  
  
“WHAT THE HELL?!”   
  
“Nico, calm down. Don’t hit her!” Eli stepped between the two of them to keep them apart. “I don’t think Honoka’s feeling like herself today so just…let’s not get angry with her, okay?”  
  
“Thanks, Eli-cha…I mean Eli-senpai. I have to go!” Chika took off down the corridor, wondering if it would be possible to find somewhere quiet to hide for the rest of the day.   
  
—  
  
“One, two, three. One, two, three.”   
  
Honoka fumbled a little bit through the steps. She’d gotten used to learning new choreography but she had never practiced these moves before. She couldn’t help but worry that You and Riko would notice but they didn’t seem to. They seemed a little bit under practiced themselves.   
  
They had been out in the afternoon sun for what must have been an hour already and she was sweating from the heat but she didn’t care. She could almost feel the determination of the girl whose body she was possessing. That was why when Mari had suggested she help them practice she hadn’t said no.   
  
You and Riko were practicing just as hard as she was, she noticed as she glanced toward them. A flash of Umi and Kotori filled her mind, of them practicing for their first performance. She’d noticed that Riko and You looked at her the same way Umi and Kotori looked at her. Chika must really inspire them, she realized though she couldn’t help but wonder who inspired Chika in return.   
  
Her eyes blurred, her chest aching with the desire to see her friends and to help the girl’s in front of her. She stopped practicing, taking a deep breath.   
  
“Chika-chan?!” You and Riko asked in concern as Mari stopped filming on her phone.  
  
Honoka took another deep breath before she let out a frustrated scream that caught all three of the girl’s by surprise. “FIGHT!”  
  
“Wha…?” You stared at Chika in surprise. “Chika-chan…”  
  
“We have to show her! Even if we don’t have anyone watching us, we have to show her!” Honoka turned toward You and Riko. “Don’t let the President push you down. We have to keep fighting so we can get our idol group! We can’t give up. Even if there’s nobody at the concert tomorrow we have to sing and dance our hearts out. We have to keep going. Are you with me? Riko-chan, You-chan?!”  
  
“YEAH!” The two girls exclaimed, smiles on their faces.   
  
Mari raised an eyebrow. She almost wish she hadn’t stopped recording. She would have liked to have shown Dia that speech. “Impressive…”  
  
—  
  
Honoka wasn’t sure she’d ever had to suffer through such a tiring day, even in the early days of Muse. It was hard work, pretending to be someone she wasn’t.   
  
She yawned as she leaned further into Riko, letting the girl guide her to the bus stop. You had chosen to go home on her bike, leaving the two alone together. Thankfully Riko didn’t seem to mind being leaned on. She hadn’t complained once.   
  
“We are going to show her, right Chika-chan?” Riko spoke suddenly, her voice hopeful. “You meant what you said earlier?”  
  
“Duh! Don’t worry, Riko-chan. We can do it. Just keep going and I know the three of us can do anything together. We’ll get our idol group, I just know it!”  
  
The confident response brought a smile to Riko’s lips. “Thank you…” She glanced to Honoka, noticing her grinning. Chika’s smile was a bit off but it was no less dazzling than usual. “Eh…”  
  
“You really are pretty, Riko-chan.” Honoka said, yawning again into her hand. “Especially when you’re embarrassed.”  
  
“S-Shut up.” Riko mumbled, not sure what else to say.   
  
“Is that my house?” Honoka asked tiredly as she nodded to one of the houses ahead.   
  
“Uh…that’s mine.” Riko said unsurely. “Yours is just opposite. I’ll take you there myself.”  
  
Honoka hummed and rested her head on Riko’s shoulder like she had a hundred times with Umi and Kotori. “You’re a good friend, Riko-chan.” She mumbled, not noticing Riko’s blush.   
  
—  
  
When Honoka woke up the next morning she expected to find herself still sleeping on a futon. That was certainly how she’d fallen asleep anyway. She was grateful to find herself sleeping in her own bed, surrounded by her own things.   
  
“It was just a dream.” She murmured, reaching out to turn off her alarm clock. She paused, noticing writing on her hand.   
  
“ _Sorry for the sore cheek_.” She read out loud. ” _I’m Chika by the way!_ ” She lifted her hand to her cheek, finding it was indeed tender. “What?”  
  
Noticing her phone flashing on her bedside table, she picked it up and noticed she had a text from Nico.   
  
_‘You have some explaining to do when you get to school. Eli won’t be there to protect you this time’.  
_  
“WHAT?!”  
  
Yukiho opened the door a moment later. “Oh good, you’re awake. Umi-san and Kotori-san are waiting for you. Umi-san doesn’t look happy with you…”  
  
—  
  
Chika felt a combination of relieved and disappointed when she woke to her own bed. So it had been just a dream. But it had felt so real. She sat up, idly rubbing her head and yawned. She would have to get ready for school. She began to push herself off the floor but paused, noticing ink on the back of her hand.   
  
“ _Check your phone._ ” She read out loud, her brow furrowed in confusion. “Honoka…Honoka?!” She quickly reached for her phone, finding a text from You with times for a concert. Their concert.   
  
She quickly scanned the rest of her phone, soon finding a video of herself practicing with You and Riko. She didn’t remember doing that. Not with the unfamiliar girl talking in the background. “What the heck…”  
  
TBC


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the next chapter, thanks for the comments and kudos! :D

“What did she do? Why can’t I remember anything from yesterday…?” Honoka grumbled as she pulled her hair up and tied it into her usual style. Her head was aching and all she wants to do was crawl back into bed. She didn’t have the time to sit and figure out what was happening though. She had to get to school.

Honoka watched in confusion as Yukiho closed the door, not understanding what her younger sister meant about Umi looking angry. She sighed, looking back down at the kanji written in unfamiliar handwriting on her hand before remembering her strange dream.

Groaning, she got up quickly and ran to the bathroom, uniform and hair tie in hand. She quickly brushed her teeth and scrubbed the marker off her hand. She couldn’t remember anything from yesterday besides what had happened in her dream, or more accurately in Chika’s day to day life.

With a sigh Honoka returned to her room only to hear Kotori’s voice calling out to her. That was usually a bad sign. Umi never called for her when something upset her, and with the ominous text from Nico to think about Honoka knew that today was going to be painful. “Damn that girl…” 

  
She left the room and trudged down the stairs, telling herself that whatever Chika had done couldn’t have been all that bad. Umi was probably just angry because she’d missed practice or something like that. She slipped her shoes on and grabbed her bag, calling out her goodbyes before she left the house.   
  
“Good morning.” She greeted when she found Umi and Kotori waiting outside for her. Kotori replied in kind but Umi just huffed and looked away.   
  


The walk to school was made mostly in silence despite Honoka trying to strike up a conversation with Kotori and Umi. Kotori answered her though it was still tense and Umi seemed to be adamant about not speaking at all.   
  
Finally they reached the school gates and Umi declared that she had some student council work to get on with and hurried off. Bewildered, Honoka turned to Kotori. “Is Umi-chan mad at me or something?”  
  
“Uh…” Kotori grimaced at the suggestion. Umi was mad but mostly just upset. It was understandable after she’d heard what Honoka had done with Maki the previous day. “You can’t think of a reason she’d be angry?”  
  
Honoka tried to think back but of course she still couldn’t remember anything. She gave a nervous laugh and rubbed the back of her neck. “C-Can’t you just tell me?”  
  
Kotori sighed and glanced around to make sure nobody was listening to them. “You were acting really weird yesterday. You even kept your hair down all day and you were…more aware than usual.”  
  
“Eh?” Honoka shook her head, confused. “What does that mean?”  
  
“Well…” Kotori shifted awkwardly. “Do you like Maki-chan?”  
  
“Of course I do, she’s my friend.”   
  
Kotori winced at Honoka’s bright, innocent smile. “Maki-chan says you hit on her.”  
  
Honoka’s eyes went wide. “HUH? I-I…no! Maki-chan is cute but I would never…I don’t like anyone like that!”  
  
“She said you looked up her skirt.” Kotori added, staring intently at Honoka. “Maki-chan wouldn’t lie about this…”  
  
“I know, I know! I’m not saying she’s a liar, I just…” Honoka pressed her hands to her burning cheeks. “Argh, I’m going to kill her!”  
  
“What?!”  
  
“Not Maki-chan! N-Nevermind, it’s nothing…” Honoka ran her hand through her hair. She wondered if Chika was actually a pervert or if the girl just really liked Maki. She had seen the Muse poster on her wall. Maybe she was just a fan of Maki. She didn’t imagine Chika was a pervert all of the time. Her friends seemed to like her at least so she couldn’t be all that bad. Still, it felt odd to have her body invaded by someone who may or may not be a pervert. It wasn’t as though she hadn’t touched Chika’s body though. She remembered touching Chika’s breasts when she woke up, surprised by how much bigger they were than her own.   
  
“I-I’m not like that!” She cried out, startling Kotori.  
  
—  
  
“HONOKA!”  
  
Honoka stopped short, grimacing at the sound of Nico’s voice. She had managed to avoid her almost the entire day but it was impossible to do so when they had practice together after school. Even then though she had thought that she might be able to get away before Nico could corner her.   
  
She turned to find Nico marching toward her, an angry expression on her face. “Uh…”  
  
“Nico-chan, it’s fine!” Maki exclaimed hurriedly as she followed Nico over. “You don’t have to say any-”  
  
“If you touch her again you’ll have me to deal with, got it?” Nico growled, getting close to Honoka’s face.   
  
“Nico-chan, really.” Maki took hold of Nico’s arm and tugged her away from Honoka. “Just let me talk to her.”  
  
“Fine!” Nico glared at Honoka one more time before she turned and walked away.   
  
“Kotori said you forgot about what happened yesterday.” Maki said, taking a sip of her water. She offered the bottle to Honoka who took it after a moment of hesitation.   
  
Honoka nodded and looked down at the bottle of water in her hand. “Everything is really unclear. Like I can’t remember anything.”  
  
“I didn’t think you’d forget everything.” Maki mumbled, following Honoka’s gaze. “I even made that playlist you asked for…”  
  
“Huh?”  
  
“Nevermind. It’s…nothing. You just wanted to hear me sing so I made the CD for you. It’s not like it means anything…” Maki blushed, hurriedly looking away again as Honoka looked up.   
  
Honoka took a drink of the water before grinning over at her. “Maki-chan is cute like this…I’ll take the CD anyway if you want to give it to me. I like Maki-chan’s voice…”  
  
Maki looked up furtively. Honoka was drinking from the bottle again and despite her best efforts her gazed dipped to Honoka’s lips. “Honoka, do you like me?”  
  
“Uh….” Honoka wasn’t sure what to say to that. “Look Maki-chan, I’m sorry if I did anything yesterday that made you uncomfortable. I didn’t mean to, really.”  
  
“Well…I guess I am still mad but I can forgive you.” Maki said, shifting uncomfortably. “But I just…I guess I was glad in a way. That you were paying attention. And if you want to listen to me play piano more, you can. If you want. It’s not like you distract me.”  
  
“Really?” Honoka beamed at the suggestion. “I will!”  
  
“Good.” Maki smiled and stepped forward, kissing Honoka’s cheek. When she pulled back her face was red again but she looked happy. “I’m glad.”  
  
“Huh…” Honoka gave a small, nervous laugh though she was too busy wondering what Chika had done exactly. “W-Well…me too.” She watched as Maki wandered off too and cursed under her breath. “Stop screwing with my relationships, damn it…”  
  
She would have to make a list of ground rules, just in case it happened again.   
  
—-  
  
  
Chika was bent over, her hands on her knees as she panted heavily when a shadow fell over her. She looked up, wiping her sweaty forehead with the back of her hand and squinted when she found Riko standing there in the glow of the sun.   
  
“Chika-chan? Are you okay?” Riko asked in concern. It hadn’t escaped her notice, or You’s, that Chika was having a hard time keeping up with them and seemed to be looking to them for guidance when it came to her dance moves.   
  
“I’m okay. I-I just forgot a few of my dance moves, that’s all.” Chika stood up, pasting a bright smile to her face.   
  
“More like all of them.” You chimed in, staring curiously at Chika. It was strange that she’d had the moves down the best of all three of them just the previous day.   
  
“You-chan!” Riko exclaimed, turning to You wide-eyed. You merely shrugged her shoulders. “S-She’s right though, Chika-chan. Are you not feeling like yourself? You’re acting like yourself but…”  
  
“I’m okay! I’ll learn the moves again in no time!” Chika exclaimed, trying to distract her friends from the problem. “Let’s go for a run along the beach, huh?”  
  
“Chika-chan…” Riko sighed as she watched Chika turn and take off down the beach. She turned to You in concern. “Will she be okay?”  
  
“Of course.” You smiled. “It’s Chika-chan. She’s always okay.”  
  
“She’s being reckless though.” Riko glanced toward Chika as the girl raced off down the beach. “And she can’t remember yesterday? We should be worried, right?”  
  
“I’ll keep an eye on her, there’s no need for you to worry.”  
  
“HEY!” Chika bellowed from where she’d stopped. “ARE YOU GUYS RUNNING WITH ME OR NOT? WE STILL NEED TO THINK OF A NAME!”  
  
Riko and You shared a look before they both dashed off after Chika.   
  
Chika waited for them to catch up so they could run alongside her.   
  
“I know…” Riko started.   
  
“Not Three Mermaids!” You interrupted before she could finish what she was saying. “Anything but that.”  
  
“I don’t see you coming up with any better ideas.” Riko grumbled, her cheeks flushed red. “It’s not that bad.”  
  
Chika chuckled at the interaction but she was quickly distracted by something up ahead, like writing in the sand. She jogged over to it to take a look. “What about Aquors?”  
  
You stopped at Chika’s side and looked down at the sand. “That?” She asked, pointing to the word.   
  
“Yeah.” Chika said, beaming at the word. “It looks cool, right? And it represents our school! What do you think? Riko-chan?”  
  
Riko smiled at Chika and nodded in agreement. “It’s perfect.”  
  
—-  
  
The second time the change happened it took Chika less by surprise than the previous time though she couldn’t deny that it was still shocking to wake up in someone else’s body. It was only natural that she would be surprised. Still, she wasn’t as worried as last time and she quickly changed into her school uniform without Yukiho having to tell her too many times to get out of bed.

She picked up Honoka’s phone and paused when she noticed an alert on the screen. She didn’t recognize it so she tapped the alert and watched as an app opened.   
  
“Rules for Chika-chan…” She read off the screen, her eyes widening as the meaning sank in. “Eeeh? Why do I need rules?!” She shook her head as she went through the list. “Rule one…stop flirting with my friends.” Her brow furrowed at the suggestion. “I wasn’t doing that really. But fine. Rule two…listen to Umi-chan. I can do that. Rule three…don’t mess up my diet.” She rolled her eyes at that and skipped to the next rule. “Rule four…don’t be perverted. I’M NOT LIKE THAT!” She pouted in annoyance. “I’m not. But Maki-chan is so cute…”  
  
“Onee-chan! Umi-san and Kotori-san are waiting outside for you!” Yukiho called through the door, breaking Chika from her thoughts about how cute Maki was.   
  
“I’ll be there in a minute!” Chika called back before she quickly checked her hair in the mirror. She was wearing it down again, which she supposed would seem odd to to the others but Umi seemed to like it. She had noticed that much about Honoka’s best friend. Umi tended to get flustered around Honoka, like she had a little crush or something. It was cute really.   
  
After making sure she looked okay she walked out of the door and headed down the stairs, still reading from Honoka’s phone. “Rule five…don’t you dare touch my chest! Huh…Rule six, don’t freak Yukiho out, rule seven, be careful of Nozomi-chan…I don’t know what that means. Rule eight…don’t screw up my relationships. Eh? I wasn’t even doing that? Rule nine,focus on Love Live! Rule ten, write a thoroughly detailed diary entry about what you did on the days we switch. I’ll do the same on your phone. No lying! Hmm…”  
  
“What are you reading, Honoka-chan?”   
  
Chika looked up, finding Kotori staring at her curiously. “Oh, it’s nothing. Just a note I left myself.” She slipped Honoka’s phone into her pocket and smiled brightly. “Let’s go to school.”  
  
Umi frowned as she looked at Honoka’s hair. “Your hair is down again.” She remarked suspiciously. “Are you feeling okay? I remember the last time you left your hair down like that…”  
  
“I’m just trying different styles.” Chika said with a shrug of her shoulders. “I thought you liked it?”  
  
“I do, it’s just…” Umi sighed and looked away. “Nevermind, it’s nothing.”  
  
“Hmm? What’s wrong, Umi-chan?” Chika stepped forward and linked her arm with Umi’s, smiling brightly. “I’m really sorry about the other day. If I acted odd, I didn’t mean to.”  
  
Umi glanced back at Honoka, biting her lip. She wanted to ask her if she was sorry for the previous day too, if Maki kissing her cheek really meant anything, but she couldn’t bring herself to. “Yeah.” She finally said, catching Kotori glancing at her sympathetically. “Yeah, let’s go.”  
  
“So um…would it be okay if I went to listen to Maki-chan play this morning?” Chika asked hopefully. “I know I have responsibilities with the student council but…”  
  
Umi protested quickly. “Of course you can’t, you’re the student council president! You need to review the papers and-”  
  
“But she’s finally composing Yume No Tobira! She’s using your lyrics, right?” Chika argued, looking between Kotori and Umi. “I really really want to listen! Please, Umi-chan?”  
  
Umi grimaced at the pleading. “Honoka, we have work to do. Leaving it to me and Kotori isn’t fair. W-Why do you want to listen anyway? You’ll hear it when it’s done.”  
  
Chika shrugged her shoulders, a bit downcast at being told no.   
  
Kotori, seeing that the two weren’t going to come to an answer on their own, decided to step in. “Um…what if we say you can sit with Maki-chan before school as long as you have lunch with us?” She held up a hand as a bright smile formed on Honoka’s face. “AND you have to do some work through lunch.”  
  
Chika nodded quickly. “Of course! Thank you, Kotori-chan!”  
  
Kotori forced a smile as Honoka hurried along in front of them. She sighed when Honoka was out of earshot and glanced at Umi. “I’m sorry. It was all I could think of.”  
  
Umi shook her head. “If she’d rather spend time with Maki…”  
  
“I’m sure that’s not it. Maybe she’s just helping Maki-chan with something.” Kotori fell into step next to Umi and gently nudged her in the side. “I can leave you two alone at lunch if you want?”  
  
Umi gave a soft laugh, surprised that it actually made her feel better. “You’re a really good friend. But I want to eat lunch with both of you so don’t try to leave us alone.”  
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                         
Kotori beamed at that and nodded her head as they followed Honoka.   
  
—  
  
“Your hair is down again.”  
  
Chika smiled brightly as she closed the door to the music room behind her. “I like it like this. So does Umi-chan, she says.” She made her way to Maki, sitting down next to her. Mindful of Honoka’s warning though, she kept a respectable distance. “Hey Maki-chan, are you gonna sing for me again?”  
  
Maki looked down at the piano keys in front of her. “If you want me to.”  
  
“Yes! More than anything!” Chika sat up, giving a blushing Maki her full attention.   
  
Maki wasn’t sure what to say to that so she cleared her throat and began to play the piano, her eyes closing as she started to sing.   
  
Chika watched, enraptured as Maki sung with her eyes closed, her fingers gliding effortlessly over the piano keys. “Pretty…”  
  
Maki’s eyes shot open in surprise and she stopped playing, finding Honoka staring at her. “Wha…?!”  
  
“Ah, n-nothing! Sorry, continue!” Chika said sheepishly. She shrunk down, sighing under her breath. She supposed she would have to tell Honoka about that mistake too. She closed her eyes as Maki started to sing again, listening to the melody.   
  
Maki glanced at Honoka, surprised when she started to hum along with her. She almost faltered but managed to hold her composure long enough to finish the song. “Um…” Her hands fell to her sides. “You memorized it already?”  
  
“Huh?” Chika looked to Maki. “Oh. It’s just humming so…I wouldn’t say I know it very well or anything. I’m just following your voice…”  
  
“My voice?” Maki smiled despite herself and looked away. “Um…hey, do you want to maybe get food together after practice today? I want to review the song again before we go against A-Rise.”  
  
“Yes!” Chika blushed at how quickly she answered the question. “I mean…yeah. I’m not sure I’ll be very helpful though.”  
  
“What? Of course you will be.” Maki frowned. “I need our leader to tell us what she thinks.”  
  
Chika sighed, thinking of You and Riko back in her own life. She wasn’t achieving anything really. She hadn’t yet. “I’m not sure I’ll be much of a leader…”  
  
“Huh?” Maki turned toward Honoka slightly, confusion clear on her face. “What are you talking about?”  
  
Chika shrugged and ran her fingers along the piano keys, her gaze following the movement. “I guess…I’m just afraid I’m going to fail my friends again.” She remembered vividly how upset Riko and You had been when their first performance hadn’t gone well. The worst part was that they had been upset mostly for Chika herself. It may have only been a few days ago but she was sure the memory would stay with her for a long time. Even the thought of it had her getting a bit choked up. “They don’t deserve to be disappointed.”  
  
Maki stared at Honoka in stunned silence, noticing the tears that laced her eyes. She couldn’t help but wonder if Umi or Kotori knew how Honoka felt. “Um…” She reached out, gently rubbing Honoka’s arm. “It’s okay. I think you can do it. It’s going to be fine. We’re going to beat A-Rise.”  
  
Chika looked at Maki, smiling tearfully. “Thank you, Maki-chan.”  
  
Maki looked like she was about to say something else when the door across the room opened and Nozomi strode into the room.   
  
“Oh, am I interrupting something?” Nozomi asked in amusement as she glanced between the two of them. Eli had told her about Honoka’s recent feelings toward the first year and she couldn’t say that she wasn’t curious about them.   
  
“Nothing.” Maki quickly removed her hand from Honoka’s arm. “I mean no. I was just practicing and Honoka was listening in, that’s all.”

“Of course.”  
  
Chika watched with wide eyes as Nozomi made her way further into the room. Honoka had told her to keep her distance from her, she remembered, scooting closer to Maki. She should probably heed her warning. “I um…I actually have to go. Sorry, Maki-chan. I’ll talk to you after school!”  
  
Nozomi watched Honoka hurry out of the room. “Hmm, have you noticed how odd she’s been acting lately? It seems to be whenever she wears her hair down she acts like this…maybe she’s being possessed?”  
  
Maki sighed at the sudden onslaught of nonsense. “Are you serious, Nozomi?”  
  
“Never question my spiritual power, Maki-chan. Just be careful of your relationship with her. It might not be what it seems.”   
  
“You’re so cryptic.” Maki huffed, standing from the piano bench. “It’s just Honoka.”  
  
“I suppose you’re right.” Nozomi said with a small smile. “It must just be my imagination, I suppose.”  
  
Maki nodded stiffly. She wasn’t sure why but the suggestion that Honoka paying more attention to her than usual meant there was something wrong with her irked her. “I’m going to class.” She finally said, moving out from in front of the piano. “You might want to too, before you’re late.”  
  
Nozomi hummed in agreement as Maki left the room. There was definitely something off about Honoka, she just hadn’t worked out what yet.   
  
—–  
  
Honoka was significantly less panicked than the first time she’d woken up in another girl’s body. Not that it didn’t feel just as strange. It did, and she was still quite alarmed by everything that was going on but the knowledge that soon enough she’d be back in her own body calmed her significantly.   
  
What she hadn’t counted on was waking up earlier than she usually did and not having to rush through changing for school. Not having to rush meant that she was focused on what she was doing. Focused enough that when her shirt was off she paused for a moment, staring down at her chest.   
  
“They’re so much bigger…” She mused, reaching up to touch them. It felt odd, like she wasn’t touching her own chest but someone else’s. “Soft…” She mumbled, continuing to experimentally caress the globes of flesh in her hands.   
  
“What the hell are you doing…”   
  
Honoka jumped, a cry of surprise escaping her. Quickly, she turned her back on Mito, her cheeks burning with shame. “J-Just getting dressed!”  
  
“Well…You-chan is here.” Mito said carefully, not sure what to make of her sister’s sudden curiosity about her own body. She wasn’t sure she even wanted to think about it.   
  
“I-I’ll be right down. Thanks…Onee-san.” Honoka said awkwardly, refusing to look back toward the door.   
  
“Yeah, yeah…”  
  
The door closed with a click and Honoka breathed a sigh of relief. She had been so engrossed in what she was doing that she hadn’t even noticed the door opening. She swallowed thickly as she looked down again. She felt strange though she didn’t know what to make of it. Catching herself staring, she shook her head. “What am I doing?!”  
  
She quickly got dressed into Chika’s school uniform and hurried downstairs, grabbing her bag and slipping her shoes on. She called out her goodbyes before she slipped out of the front door, finding You and Riko waiting for her.   
  
“Your hair is up again.” Was You’s way of greeting her. She reached out and touched the ponytail on the side of Chika’s head. “Do you have your gym bag?”  
  
“Huh?”  
  
“For dance practice.” Riko reminded her slowly. “Remember? We talked about it last night?”  
  
“Ah, right! I’ll go and get it, I’ll be right back!”   
  
Riko watched Chika rush back into the house and turned to You. “Should we be worried?”  
  
You hesitated for a moment before shaking her head. “She’s just tired probably.”  
  
—  
  
It was a relief that just like Muse, Aquors seemed to practice on the roof. It brought with it a sense of familiarity and comfort though as Honoka stepped out onto the roof she paused when she found two other people already there.   
  
“Riko-chan, I think someone else is using the roof today.” She said, turning to the girl behind her. You was close behind. “Maybe we should find somewhere else to practice.”  
  
“What?” Riko asked in confusion. “What are you talking about?”  
  
“Zura?”  
  
“Zura?” Honoka echoed, looking toward the girl who’d said it. The girl, with light brown hair was staring at her in curiosity. “Huh?” She took a wary step back. The girl’s stare was too intense. It was like she was looking right into her. “Um…”  
  
“Hanamaru-chan?” A small voice sounded and Honoka realized in surprise that there was another girl standing right behind Hanamaru.   
  
“She’s not running to hug you, Ruby-chan…” Hanamaru marvelled, looking Chika up and down. “And she’s not trying to lure you out with candy, zura.”  
  
“Eh?!” Honoka exclaimed. She was fairly certain that was illegal. “I-I um…” She looked to Riko and You for help.   
  
“You gave her a lollipop.” Riko explained, watching Chika closely. “Ruby-chan is shy so she hides behind Hanamaru-chan most of the time. So…you lured her out with a lollipop, remember?”  
  
“Ah, yes!” Honoka lied with a nervous laugh. “O-Of course.” She turned back to Hanamaru and Ruby and bowed in apology. “I’m sorry, Ruby-chan. You don’t have to come out if you don’t want to.”  
  
“Zura?!” Hanamaru’s eyes widened in surprise.   
  
Ruby peeked out from behind Hanamaru, staring cautiously at the older girl. “Uh…” Slowly, she inched out from behind Hanamaru though she stayed close to her side just in case she needed to duck behind her again.   
  
Honoka slowly straightened up and flashed Ruby a small smile before she turned back to Riko and You. “So should we start?”  
  
“Not yet.” You said thoughtfully. “We need to think. We need to figure out how to become popular. Like Muse.”  
  
“M-Muse?!” Honoka perked up at the mention of her school idol group. “You think we’re…they’re popular?”  
  
You stared at Chika like she had asked an especially stupid question. “Yes. Of course they are. We need to figure out how to be more like them, we need…something more. Something special.”   
  
“Like what?” Honoka asked as she watched You sit down on the ground, taking her laptop from her bag. She tried to think what was special about Muse but all she could think of was what was special about the people in the group. “Let me see.” She sat down next to You and winced when she saw that Aquors’ ranking was only at 950. “Oh…”  
  
You nodded in agreement with Chika’s observation. “Yeah…we need something that makes us stand out. Something edgy.”  
  
“Maybe change our name. Something…eccentric?” Riko asked thoughtfully.   
  
“Like Three Mermaids?” Honoka quipped, recalling their discussion at the bus stop. “Well it’s five now…”  
  
“Why do you keep bringing that up?!” Riko snapped, turning to Chika.   
  
“Hehe, it’s fun making you angry…” Honoka said, amused by Riko’s response.   
  
“Chika-chan!” Riko took Chika by the shoulders and shook her firmly.   
  
“Ehhh?!” Honoka cried out in protest at the shaking but her attention was quickly diverted across the room by a flash of movement. “Who is that?”  
  
The others looked in the direction she was staring and Hanamaru sat up straighter. “Yoshiko-chan?”  
  
—  
  
Chika listened with interest as Maki explained why it was a good idea to use the intercom to appeal to the school. She listened as the others discussed it though she was busy thinking about how smart Maki was for coming up with the idea in the first place. It seemed that Maki caught her staring as their eyes briefly locked before the redhead looked away, blushing.   
  
“Maki-chan is getting along with someone in her class…” Rin marvelled suddenly, capturing Chika’s attention.   
  
“Amazing…” Hanayo chimed in brightly.   
  
“Wha…?” Chika watched as Maki seemed to blush even more as she protested. “Not really. I just had cleanup duty in class with her so we talked for a bit and…”  
  
As the others laughed at Maki, Chika stepped close to her. Probably closer than she was really supposed to, she knew. “Maki-chan is so cute when she pouts.” She mumbled so that only Maki could hear her. She heard a sharp intake of breath from the other girl and glanced toward her, a gentle smile on her face. Maki was looking at her in surprise, her face still red. “You’re really smart. The intercom idea is amazing…”  
  
“Thanks.” Maki said quietly, a smile tugging at her lips.   
  
Umi watched from the doorway, her arms crossed in front of her chest. Honoka just didn’t notice her, especially recently. It seemed like Honoka really would never think of her as anything more than her friend.   
  
“The intercom is ready when you are. Just give me the word.”   
  
“Huh?” Chika looked up, finding the girl from the broadcast club staring at her. “Me? I-I can’t…I don’t know what to say. Eli-senpai should do it. O-Or Nico-chan!”  
  
Nico glared at Honoka from the doorway. “I’m still mad at you for forgetting my na-”  
  
“No.” Umi interrupted, shaking her head. “Honoka, you have to do it. You’re our leader. Nobody else can take over for you.”  
  
“But Eli-senpai is so much better at this than me.” Chika pouted though Umi just shook her head. “You’re so unfair, Umi-chan…” She bit her lip, trying to figure out what Honoka would say. “I-I don’t know if I can.”  
  
“You can.” Surprisingly, it was Maki who spoke, gently touching Chika’s shoulder. “I know you can do this. Just say what you think. If you do it I’ll…I don’t know, I’ll give you something later.”  
  
“Really?” Chika felt her cheeks warm, her gaze dipping briefly from Maki’s eyes. She gave a nervous laugh before looking back up. “If it’s something from Maki-chan I’m sure I’ll like it.”  
  
Nico raised an eyebrow at the interaction. “I thought Honoka was dense about stuff like that?”  
  
“She is.” Eli said quietly as she watched Honoka and Maki stare at each other. “Or she used to be. I don’t know what’s going on now…”  
  
“I think I do.” Nozomi said thoughtfully as she watched Honoka. “I just need to observe her more…”  
  
Eli sighed. “Nozomi…” She didn’t have time to finish her sentence as Honoka began to speak.   
  
“A-Ahh, g-good afternoon, everyone!” Chika exclaimed, leaning over the microphone. “Uh…I-I’m the leader of Muse, Kousaka Honoka!” It felt strange to say someone else’s name in place of her own and she internally winced. “Um…we’re actually holding another live.” She looked to Maki for reassurance, receiving a small smile in response. Feeling Maki’s hand briefly touch her own, she stood up straighter and squared her shoulders. “This time we’re aiming for the top! But we need everyone’s help for that. It would be great if everyone could watch our live! We’ll be trying our best so please cheer for us! Um…and now, a few words from my friend, Umi-chan!”  
  
She stepped away from the microphone and smiled broadly at Umi who was standing behind her, shaking. “You can do it, Umi-chan!” She gave Umi’s hand a quick squeeze just as Maki had with her own.   
  
Nico shook her head in exasperation as she watched Umi approach the microphone, blushing. “Is she flirting or is she just clueless…?”  
  
Kotori smiled brightly, her hands clasped in front of her. “Finally, she’s starting to understand!”  
  
Nico shot Kotori a look. “She’s flirting with both of them, Kotori.”  
  
Kotori opened her mouth to say something but she was interrupted by Eli.   
  
“Be quiet, both of you.”  
  
Kotori sighed and focused on Umi stuttering into the microphone.   
  
—  
  
“Do we have to wear this?” Honoka asked, grimacing as her ‘fallen angel’ outfit was shoved into her arms by You. She didn’t have a problem with being dressed in the outfit, it was the dressing part that was the issue. “You-chan.”  
  
“Do it for Yoshiko-chan.” You said with a shrug of her shoulders. “You said yourself that we need something different, didn’t you? She’s perfect!”  
  
“She’s something.” Honoka sighed, looking over her dress. She thought of Muse, of whether the personalities of her friends’ could even be compared to the personalities of the girl’s in Aquors. Nozomi’s maybe, at a push, she thought. “I’m going to change in the bathroom.”  
  
Ignoring You’s confused look she slipped out of the room and went to the bathroom to change, locking the door behind her. She carefully hung the dress up on the door before taking a deep breath. She could do this. She knew she could. She wasn’t perverted. She could do this innocently enough.   
  
Without looking she slid off her shirt, followed by her school skirt, letting them pile at her feet. She wondered if she should just fumble for the dress and try to pull it on but she couldn’t bring herself to. She needed to open her eyes. It wasn’t all that wrong, she told herself. After all she was sure Chika had to look at her body too. Her cheeks warmed at the thought as she looked herself over in the full length mirror. Chika really was pretty.   
  
She lifted her hand, her fingers tracing the outline of Chika’s breast. Her breath caught in her throat as she watched herself do it. “What am I doing…?” She mumbled to herself, her hand straying higher. Her heart thumped relentlessly against her chest as she watched her fingers disappear under the fabric of the bra she was wearing.   
  
She had told Chika specifically not to do what she was doing, she remembered, struggling not to breathe too heavily. Despite herself she let out a soft moan as her fingers moved. A knock at the door had her quickly pulling her hand away.   
  
“Are you done in there?!” Mito called through the door. “I need to go!”  
  
“A-Almost!” Honoka answered guiltily. She quickly put the dress on and opened the door, finding Mito glaring at her. “Ah, s-sorry!”  
  
Mito huffed and crossed her arms in front of her chest. “What were you doing in there anyway? Touching yourself again?”  
  
“NO!”  
  
“Sure.” Mito looked her sister up and down. “What’s with the gothic dress anyway? Are you…?”  
  
“Shut up!”   
  
Mito quirked an eyebrow at the exclamation. “Hmm?”  
  
“Sorry Onee-san!”  
  
Thankfully Honoka was saved from explaining her outburst further by Hanamaru showing up. “Chika-chan, what are you doing? Riko-chan is trying to run away, zura!”  
  
Honoka couldn’t help but laugh a little at that. Riko was so like Umi. She felt a small pang in her chest at the thought. She missed Umi. And all of her other friends. She shook it off though and followed Hanamaru down the hall.   
  
“Riko-chan, come out!” You exclaimed from in front of the closet door. “Please?”  
  
“I’m not coming out, it’s too short!” Riko’s voice responded. “It’s shorter than the last dress! I-I’m not coming out, alright?”  
  
Honoka smiled at You’s annoyed expression. Stepping forward to the closet, she tried to remember what she had told Umi in the same situation. Or at least something she’d heard Kotori tell Umi. “Hey, Riko-chan. It’s fine if we’re all wearing the same thing, right? It won’t be embarrassing.”  
  
There was a moment of silence before Riko opened the closet door and stepped out.   
  
Both Riko’s and Honoka’s eyes widened for different reasons.   
  
“I-I thought you said we were the same!” Riko turned on You, clearly upset. “You-chan, this isn’t fair. Why is my outfit more revealing?!”  
  
Honoka awkwardly rubbed the back of her neck. “M-Maybe because Riko-chan is the prettiest?” She attempted, earning herself an eye roll from You.   
  
“It is kind of embarrassing…” Ruby murmured in agreement, looking down at herself.   
  
Hanamaru nodded. “I’m not comfortable either.”  
  
“Okay, that’s it! I’m changing.” Riko announced suddenly.   
  
“Eeeh? But Riko-chan…” Honoka trailed off as she noticed You looking past her, her eyes wide. “Uh…You-chan? What’s wrong?”  
  
“Chika-chan, your dog…” You pointed past Chika, causing her to turn quickly.   
  
“WHAAAA?!” Riko shrieked, quickly backing away.   
—  
  
Maki was sure that Honoka wasn’t paying any attention to her as they walked but she couldn’t bring herself to mind. In fact the awed look on Honoka’s face was more than enough to hold her attention. It was cute, so much so that Maki had to bite her lip to keep from blurting it out.   
  
“You act like you’ve never seen Akiba before.” She finally said, trying to ignore how enamoured she was by Honoka’s childlike excitement.   
  
“I just like seeing the big buildings.” Chika said excitedly. She grabbed Maki’s hand without thinking. “Don’t you think being in the city is thrilling, Maki-chan?”  
  
“I guess. I live in one.” Maki said with a warm smile as she grasped Honoka’s hand back. She had never really considered being close to Honoka like she was now but it wasn’t bad. In fact it felt good that Honoka was paying attention.   
  
As they walked along hand in hand Chika couldn’t help but notice how much taller Maki was than her. She hadn’t realized just how tall the redhead was until she was standing right next to her. “Let’s go to this cute cafe I read about, Maki-chan!”  
  
“Eh?!” Maki exclaimed as she felt Honoka pick up her pace. She jogged a little to catch up. “I thought we were going to the fast food place.”  
  
“I thought we should go somewhere nicer. Somewhere special.” Chika glanced back at Maki, flashing a bright smile.   
  
“Ah.” Maki smiled back, remembering Nico’s suggestions about flirting. “W-Well if you say so. We can do whatever you want.” The suggestiveness had been Nico’s idea too. She had told her to wait and see whether Honoka blushed or not. Indeed, a flush colored Honoka’s cheeks and she looked away hurriedly. Maki made a mental note to thank Nico.   
  
“Here we are!” Chika exclaimed, pushing open the door to the cafe she’d found.   
  
“Uh…” Maki looked around the small cafe in awe, surprised by the fact that it was a maid’s cafe. She was so distracted she didn’t notice one of the maids come over and speak to Honoka before leading them to a table.   
  
“Thank you.” Chika said brightly before the maid walked off. She quickly turned her attention back to Maki. “What do you think, Maki-chan?”  
  
“It’s nice.” Maki said, looking down at the menu in front of her. She was disappointed by the loss of Honoka’s hand but she didn’t want to reach across the table for it. That would be too much. “Um…I guess I’ll have the tomato soup…?”  
  
Chika smiled brightly as she glanced up. “I’m gonna get mik…ah, I mean strawberry shortcake!”  
  
Maki stared at Honoka in bemusement. “You should order what you want. You don’t have to order something like that to impress me or anything.”  
  
“I’m not trying to impress you!” Chika said quickly. “I-I mean not that I don’t want to, I just…changed my mind, that’s all.” She slid down slightly in her seat, her face aflame with embarrassment. She wasn’t doing a very good job of acting like Honoka. “Sorry.”  
  
“It’s fine.” Maki said with a small smile. At least she wasn’t the only nervous one out of the two. She let Honoka calm herself a bit, busying herself with ordering for the both of them. When the waitress wandered off, Maki turned back to Honoka, finding she looked more composed. “So do you want to listen to the final composition? I’ve been practicing at home so we could go there and I can play for you.”  
  
“Oh.” Chika grinned and playfully nudged Maki’s foot under the table with her own. “Maki-chan is trying to get me back to her house already? It’s only the first date.”  
  
“W-What?! I-I wasn’t…” Maki trailed off as she watched the other girl chuckle to herself. “Why do you have to tease me all of the time…?”  
  
“Sorry.” Chika reached across the table, her hand palm up, and wiggled her fingers invitingly. She was relieved when Maki took her hand after hesitantly looking around to make sure nobody was watching. She gently squeezed Maki’s fingers. “I would love to listen to the final composition!”  
  
Maki smiled at that, gripping Honoka’s hand firmly though when the waitress turned up with their food, she pulled her hand away and slipped it under the table. She anxiously thanked the girl before looking up at a still smiling Honoka. “What…?”  
  
“Nothing.” Chika said with a shake of her head. “Let’s dig in!” She did just that, taking the first bite of her shortcake and humming in satisfaction. She would have preferred mikan but the cake was nice enough.   
  
Maki focused on her soup for a few minutes but feeling something brush against her leg she almost choked. She looked down, finding Honoka had slipped her shoe off and was brushing her foot gently up and down her leg. “Honoka!” She whispered, panicked as she glanced around.   
  
“Maki-chan has soft legs.” Chika smiled though she conceded and drew away. “Sorry…”  
  
“I-It’s fine. I didn’t say it was…bad.” Maki blushed, looking down at her soup. “I just don’t want anyone to notice…”  
  
Chika brightened at the response. “Really? So if I…” She noticed Maki jump slightly as she began to stroke her leg again but this time the redhead didn’t pull away, she just bowed her head, her red hair forming a curtain around her face. “Maki-chan is so cute…”  
  
“Honoka…” Maki mumbled in embarrassment.   
  
Chika took pity on the girl and decided to stop teasing her. She planted her foot firmly bank on the floor and continued to eat her shortcake, casting occasional glances at the girl opposite her. Maki really was pretty, she noticed, not for the first time. She didn’t look as much like Riko to her now, though she still reminded her of her, ever so slightly. Maybe it was just the way she played the piano. She supposed it didn’t matter. She wanted to know Maki for who she was, not who she reminded her of.   
  
She jumped when something nudged against her foot. She looked up from her plate, finding Maki biting her lip to hold back a smile. Chika felt her own lips twitch and took a breath. If Maki was fine with it so was she.   
  
They sat there for a few minutes, finishing off their food and nudging each other playfully under the table, occasionally locking eyes until the waitress showed up again, surprising them both. Neither had really realized that they had finished off their food but their plates were both empty.   
  
“I’ll pay!” Chika said quickly when she noticed Maki reach for her bag. “Really, I want to! It was…” She leaned across the table slightly, lowering her voice. “It was a date, wasn’t it? So I should pay.”  
  
“But I asked you out. And I said I’d give you something.” Maki frowned, recalling their earlier agreement. “So I should pay, right?”  
  
“G-Give me something…” Chika echoed quietly, her gaze drifting for a moment from Maki’s eyes. She quickly shook her head, trying to ignore the ideas forming in her mind. “W-Well I’m older! A-And I want to pay! Please, Maki-chan? You can give me something else…”

  
Beside them the waitress chuckled though neither of them looked up.   
  
“Fine. If you want…” Maki conceded after a moment of staring at Honoka. She waited until Honoka had paid before she stood up and slipped her jacket back on.   
  
They slipped out of the restaurant together and Maki took Honoka’s hand, refusing to look at her while she did so. She felt her squeeze her hand back though. “Hey…Honoka?”  
  
“Hmm?” Chika hummed, glancing toward Maki.  
  
“Do you-”  
  
“Kousaka-san!”  
  
Chika flinched as a girl grabbed her wrist. “Wha…?”  
  
Maki’s eyes widened as she recognized the girl as Kira Tsubasa. “N-No way…”  
  
“Come with me!” Tsubasa exclaimed, glancing briefly in Maki’s direction before she dragged Honoka off.   
  
“What the hell?” Maki quickly followed, wary of losing Honoka in the crowd.   
  
“A-RISE!”  
  
Maki glanced over her shoulder at the sound of Nico’s voice, finding the third year following with Hanayo and Rin. “Why are you here?!”  
  
“Don’t ask, just follow them!” Nico huffed, catching up to Maki.   
  
Kotori and Umi were shopping when they noticed Honoka being dragged down the street by another girl, Nico and the first years hot on their heels. They shared a look before they followed without a word, their hands grasped between them so they didn’t lose each other in the crowd.   
  
“HONOKA!” Umi called, quickening her pace.   
  
“I sense a disturbance…” Nozomi looked up from her parfait, her eyes narrowing as she looked around the busy street. For a change, she and Eli had chosen to eat their parfaits at the small tables outside. It was nice to be surrounded by noise but still be close enough to hear each other.    
  
“Nozomi…” Eli sighed and looked up, unhappy about being disturbed from the mountain of brownies, chocolate ice cream and whipped cream in her glass. Her eyes widened as she spotted Honoka across the road, being dragged down the street. “Honoka?!”  
  
Tsubasa looked in her direction, shooting her a wink and Eli quickly stood up. “Come on, we have to help her!” She glanced mournfully back at her parfait before she grabbed Nozomi’s hand and took off running with her.   
  
Chika wasn’t sure how long she was dragged along before she found herself being tugged into a large building. Breathless, she glanced around. “Huh? Is this…?”  
  
Maki was right behind her and when she reached her, she took her hand.   
  
“Oh.” Tsubasa looked between the two of them. “Were you on a date? I’m sorry, I just thought it would be appropriate for us leaders to discuss the upcoming Love Live! preliminaries.”  
  
Maki glared at Tsubasa in annoyance while the leader of A-Rise merely smirked at her. Behind her, she could hear the others filtering into the building, all panting.   
  
—-  
  
Honoka woke up, thankfully in her own bed the next day and stretched out, a lazy smile on her face. After living someone else’s life for yet another day it was nice to be living her own again. Her lips tingled and she lifted her hand, brushing her fingers against them. “Huh…”  
  
Her phone was in her other hand, she found as she pushed herself into a sitting position. She rubbed her eyes and looked down at her phone. There were two alerts. A text from Maki and a note left for her.   
  
“Please don’t be anything bad…” She muttered, opening the text. “Let’s see…’I had a good time on our date yest-’…DATE?!” Her eyes widened and she drew the phone closer to her face as if she might be reading it wrong. “Um…’I had a good time on our date yesterday. I hope we can do it again…’” Slowly, she lowered her phone back to her side. “DAMN IT, CHIKA-CHAN!”  
  
She took a deep breath to calm herself and lifted her phone again. Maybe it wasn’t all bad. She opened the note and began to read aloud. “‘Hi Honoka-chan…so we did some dancing and then some advertising at school today. I talked on an intercom to the WHOLE SCHOOL! It was super fun!! So Maki-chan asked me to get some food after school. We went to a maid cafe together and after that we went back to her house so she could play her final composition for me. But before we went there, Kira Tsubasa sort of whisked me off my feet’…eh?!”   
  
Honoka reread the last line, not sure she was reading it correctly. She was and with a hint of jealousy she continued. “‘She tells me she’s the leader of A-Rise. They are Muse’s rivals, right? Anyway the whole talk was kind of awkward, especially when Nico-chan and Hanayo-chan asked for her autograph but they told us we can use their roof for the preliminaries, isn’t that great?”  
  
She took a moment to take that in, finally nodding her approval. “‘One more thing…I’m so sorry. I’m really sorry. But when Maki walked me back to the bakery she kind of kissed me. She’s really cute and I couldn’t stop myself kissing her back, you know? Besides she can be pretty dominant when she wants to be. So…now she might be your girlfriend. I think. I’m SO SORRY. But Maki-chan is smart and cute and I think she’s really good for me. Or you. Maybe you should spend some more time with her, she’s really great.’”  
  
Honoka dropped the phone to her lap and stared at the wall for a moment before letting out an annoyed yell. “DAMN IT, I WISH I COULD KICK THAT IDIOT’S ASS!” She let her head fall into her hands and groaned miserably. “Stupid stupid hot idiot…” She felt her heart jolt in her chest at her own confession of her attraction. “Damn it…”  
  
—-  
  
Chika felt slightly guilty as she read through the note Honoka had left for her. It seemed Honoka had done everything right when she had been her. She hadn’t gotten into any trouble and she’d even helped with recruiting a new member for the group. Even if Honoka had mentioned that the new member was ‘weird and creepy’ Chika couldn’t wait to meet her.   
  
The door across the room slid open and Chika looked up as Mito carefully stepped inside.   
  
“Not touching your boobs this morning?” She quipped sarcastically, crossing her arms and leaning against the doorway.   
  
“Eh?” Chika asked, confused by the question. “Touching my…oh!” She flushed, realizing what Mito must have been talking about. She hadn’t been in her own body the previous day. Honoka had. It was a bit strange to know that Honoka had been touching her like that but at the same time it was nice to know that someone found her attractive. “Uh…right.”  
  
Mito shook her head in exasperation. “You know that group of yours might have a chance of making it to Love Live after all. You’re making a lot of progress.”  
  
“We are? I-I mean thank you!” Chika smiled brightly. She supposed that must be because of Honoka’s efforts. It was like she was guiding them in the right direction.   
  
“Get dressed, you’re going to be late.”   
  
Chika nodded to herself as Mito closed the door. “That’s it. No more flirting. I have to help Honoka-chan! I have to focus…but I don’t think I can stay away from Maki-chan.” She thought about that for a moment, nibbling her bottom lip. “But I need to not lose focus! I have to do this for Honoka-chan! It’ll be fine.”   
  
She slipped out of bed, noticing the gothic dress hanging on her closet door. “I bet Honoka-chan would look nice in that in her own body…” She shook her head at the thought. “What am I saying?”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the comments and kudos etc, I hope you like the chapter! :)

Honoka wondered if the situation could get any worse. Umi wasn’t speaking to her at all. Everything she needed to say to her went through Kotori who honestly didn’t seem to be very happy with her either. Somehow Honoka felt like their annoyance at her went much deeper than her starting to date Maki without telling the two of them. There was something else wrong too, she could tell by the way Kotori would look at Umi sometimes.   
  
As for Maki, she could hardly seem to look away from her. It was unsettling and Honoka decided that she had to fix the mess Chika had made. For her own sake and Maki’s sake. That was why at the first opportunity she found Maki and dragged her into the music room.   
  
“Honoka.” Maki complained though she sounded more amused than angry. “W-We can’t right now. We have to go to club room, remember.”  
  
“Can’t…oh no!” Honoka exclaimed quickly. She stepped away from Maki, keeping a considerable distance between the two of them. “A-Actually I just wanted to apologize to you. About um…stealing your first kiss. I mean I’m not assuming it was your first kiss. I’m sure lots of people want to kiss you b-but it should be with someone special. Like…Nico-chan! Don’t you like Nico-chan?!”

“Nico?” Maki blinked at her in surprise for a moment before her features cleared in realization. “O-Oh, you changed your mind.”

Honoka winced. She’d wanted to confront the issue with as much tact as possible but it wasn’t something she had a lot of. “It’s not that, it’s…”  
  
“I-It’s fine, I’m just confused.” Maki said, crossing her arms in front of her chest. Her expression was stoic but she wasn’t looking at Honoka. “Yesterday it kind of seemed like you liked me. But the day before you didn’t. But the day before that you did…? Are you messing with me or something?”  
  
“O-Of course not!” Honoka exclaimed quickly. It was the very last thing she wanted to do. She was just trying to keep Maki from being hurt. “I would never play with your feelings, you’re my friend!”  
  
Maki stared at Honoka for a long moment. “So which is it today? Do you like me or not?” She recalled Honoka’s reaction to her impromptu kiss and took a step forward. Honoka countered with a step back but it didn’t take long until she was stopped by the side of the piano. Maki stopped right in front of her, gentle fingers brushing against her cheek. “Are you…hot Honoka or cold Honoka?”  
  
“Eh?!” Honoka squeaked in alarm, her cheeks flaming red.   
  
“It doesn’t seem like you know how you feel so maybe you’ll know if I…” Maki pressed herself close to Honoka, her own face growing hot. Slowly, she leaned in, her heart thudding in her chest. She had kissed Honoka already but she hadn’t really planned that. Her eyes fluttered shut a moment before she pressed her lips to Honoka’s. She felt the other girl tremble against her and took it as a good sign though as she kissed her she noticed that Honoka’s lips weren’t moving.   
  
“Come on.” She whispered enticingly, trying to remember what Nico had told her about kissing. Her hands went to Honoka’s shoulders and she gently sucked at her lower lip. “It’s okay.”   
  
Honoka didn’t know what to do. She didn’t want to push Maki away and the kiss was nice. Really nice. But at the same time she found herself thinking about kissing someone else.   
  
She was saved from having to think about it by the door to the music room opening. She was relieved when Maki quickly pulled away and turned to see who had entered. She looked over Maki’s shoulder and found Nozomi standing in the doorway, wearing her usual smile.   
  
“Sorry to interrupt. Maki-chan, I need to speak to Honoka-chan for a few minutes but don’t worry you’ll have her back right after. We’ll meet up with you in the club room.”  
  
“O-Okay.” Maki seemed too flustered by Nozomi walk in to argue and she quickly left the room.   
  
Nozomi closed the door behind her and turned to face Honoka. “So tell me what the spirits are doing to your body.”  
  
“W-Wha…?!” Honoka exclaimed loudly. “W-What do you mean?”  
  
“I’m in tune with the supernatural, Honoka-chan.” Nozomi smiled mysteriously. “And I know that yesterday you were not you.”  
  
Honoka huffed and rolled her eyes. “Are you kidding me…?”  
  
Nozomi raised an eyebrow. “Am I going to have to punish you?”  
  
“No!” Honoka said quickly, not especially wanting to be on the receiving end of one of Nozomi’s punishments. “Fine! I don’t know how but I keep swapping bodies with this…girl who lives near the sea. Chika-chan.”  
  
“Cute name.” Nozomi observed, stepping further into the room. “Is she younger than you?”  
  
“No, she’s my age. A second year.” Honoka clarified with a shake of her head. “She’s in a school idol group too. Aquors.”  
  
“I’ve never heard of them.” Nozomi said thoughtfully. “Maybe Nico-chan or Hanayo-chan will have.”  
  
“What?! We’re not telling…”  
  
“Of course we’re not.” Nozomi interrupted with a roll of her eyes. She walked over to the piano, leaning against it. “Do you and Chika-chan talk somehow?”  
  
“We…leave each other notes.” Honoka answered bashfully. “It’s only happened a couple of times but recently we’ve been…talking. I laid down some rules but they don’t seem to have worked very well…”  
  
“Hmm.” Nozomi hummed in interest. “Does she have any rules for you?”  
  
“Just…unspoken rules, I guess. I follow my own rules. Most of them anyway…” Honoka looked away as she remembered her shameless groping of the other girl’s breasts. “She doesn’t really have to give me any. At least I don’t mess up her relationships…”  
  
Nozomi didn’t seem to catch the annoyance in Honoka’s voice. “What’s it like then? Walking in her shoes?”  
  
“It’s…weird.” Honoka said thoughtfully. “Being in somebody else’s body just feels wrong. But the more I live her life, the more I can feel myself growing attached to her. I haven’t even met her.”  
  
“Do you want to? Grow attached to her? Meet her?” Nozomi turned and leaned over the piano, bracing herself with her elbows. “Have you thought about it?”  
  
“I-I don’t know.” Honoka answered. She hadn’t even considered the possibility. “You know I’m not interested in anyone.”  
  
“You should probably tell Maki-chan that.”   
  
Honoka groaned and sank down onto the piano bench. “Maki-chan is nice and she’s cute and all but I just want to focus on Love Live. I don’t want to be in a relationship with anyone and I don’t want to hurt her either, it’s just that I don’t have time to focus on things like romance.”  
  
Nozomi smirked. “Except when it comes to Chika-chan?”  
  
“What?! How did you…?” Honoka blushed. She had practically confessed that Nozomi was right. “It’s not like it’s possible or anything. Even if we did meet, I wouldn’t know what to do and Chika-chan is so bold…”  
  
“I see that. Obviously she’s already kissed Maki-chan. She moves fast.” Nozomi said in amusement. “Hey, could you get her to talk to me next time she’s inside of you? She always runs away otherwise…”  
  
“Uh…I kind of told her to do that.” Honoka answered awkwardly. “I didn’t want anyone to know that there’s something wrong and you’re the most observant so…” She trailed off thoughtfully. “Nobody else has noticed. Not even Umi-chan and Kotori-chan but they know something is wrong. Umi-chan is mad at me about Maki-chan…”  
  
“That makes sense.” Nozomi said with a thoughtful nod. “You and Chika-chan are different. You both have your own quirks. She just happens to be a lot better at flirting than you are. Trust me, I’ve seen her do it with Maki-chan. And Umi-chan. She’s good.”  
  
“With UMI-CHAN?!” Honoka exploded, standing up quickly only to be gently pushed back down by a laughing Nozomi.   
  
“That one was accidental, I think. And that’s not why Umi-chan is mad at you.” Nozomi answered, grimacing at the thought of Umi’s rather obvious crush on her best friend. “Ah nevermind that though…” She leaned close to Honoka’s ear. “Honoka-chan is finally finding her sex drive…”  
  
“Eeeh?!” Honoka jumped away as if she’d been burnt. “What? No! No, I just…it’s not like that. I don’t think.”  
  
“Hmm?” Nozomi raised an eyebrow, a smirk tugging at her lips. “Have you touched her?”  
  
“WHAT KIND OF QUESTION IS THAT?!” Honoka yelled though she visibly blushed.   
  
“So you have…” Nozomi stepped forward, her hands inching toward Honoka’s chest. “How big are they?”  
  
“B-Bigger than mine.” Honoka answered, taking a step back. “I don’t know how big exactly though.”  
  
“Do they fit in your hands?” Nozomi grinned mischievously, flexing her fingers.   
  
“Y-Yes. In a way. It’s…” Honoka was sure her face was on fire. Her back hit the wall and Nozomi’s hands finally came into contact with her chest. “Nozomi-chaaaan…”  
  
“Oooh, yours got a bit bigger.” Nozomi cackled, giving the breasts in her hands another squeeze before she lowered her hands and began to tickle Honoka’s sides, tearing a laugh from the younger girl’s throat. She stopped after a moment, taking pity on the wheezing girl.   
  
Honoka took a few seconds to catch her breath before she looked up. “So what do I do about…”  
  
“Your girlfriend?” Nozomi finished for her.   
  
“…Damn it.”  
  
—  
  
“Oooh, she’s a cutie!”  
  
Riko and You shared a puzzled look.   
  
“Yohane is NOT cute!” Yoshiko argued vehemently, her hands clenched into fists are her sides.   
  
“Chika-chan, you remember Yoshiko-chan, don’t you?” You asked carefully.   
  
“Hmm? Yeah, of course I remember her. Who could forget the uh…fallen…” Chika trailed off, trying to remember the notes Honoka had left for her. “Uh…knight…?”  
  
“Angel!” Yoshiko interjected quickly. “IT’S ANGEL!”  
  
“Chika-chan, are you okay, zura?” Hanamaru asked in concern from where she stood with Ruby.   
  
“Fine!” Chika exclaimed only to be caught off guard when You grabbed her hand and tugged her away. Only Riko followed along. “H-Hey, what…?”  
  
“What’s wrong?” Riko asked worriedly, briefly glancing at Hanamaru who had taken to chatting with Yoshiko. “You’re not acting like yourself…again.”  
  
“I don’t know what you mean.” Chika answered, pasting a smile to her lips. “I just forgot what her saying is, that’s all. It was an accident. I’ll apologise if you want…” She turned only for Riko to catch hold of her collar. “What is it?”  
  
“She still hasn’t decided whether she’ll join or not yet.” Riko said reluctantly. “Maybe you should keep your distance, just for a little while.”  
  
Chika looked hurt for just a few seconds. “You think I’ll scare her off?”  
  
“No, that’s not what Riko-chan is saying!” You exclaimed, trying to smooth things over. “She’s just saying that we should all give Yoshiko-chan some time to think about her decision, that’s all.”  
  
Chika had stopped listening, her attention diverted back to the potential newcomer to the group. She moved past Riko and You, stopping once more in front of a wary looking Yoshiko. “We would love it if you joined Aquors, Yoshiko-chan! You’re just what we need to be more pop…”  
  
“I said I don’t know!” Yoshiko exclaimed, taking several steps back. “And it’s Yohane! YO-HAN-E!”  
  
“Eh…” Chika stared after Yoshiko in surprise as the girl turned and hurried off. “What did I say…?”  
  
You sighed in response and walked over to Chika, patting her shoulder. Sometimes her best friend could be so clueless. “We’ll figure it out.”  
  
“Okay…” Chika mumbled, still a bit confused by what was going on. She wondered if she should ask Honoka how she dealt with situations like this. She made a mental note to ask when she next wrote to her. She was so lost in her own thoughts that she didn’t notice Riko approach until a hand was being waved in front of her face.   
  
“Chika-chan?” Riko frowned when Chika seemed to refocus. “Are you okay? I was just asking if you want to get dinner together later? You-chan says she’d come.”  
  
“Oh. Sure.” Chika said with a small smile. “I would like that. We should really get Yoshiko-chan back though…”  
  
—  
  
Honoka leaned up on her tiptoes, trying to see what Nico was doing in the store. Next to her, the others were discussing what Nico might be doing but she was more focused on the fact that Maki was standing so close to her. It was distracting and she couldn’t help but try to inch away. That proved impossible though when Maki’s arm curled around hers and she found herself being drawn closer. She swallowed thickly and glanced at Umi who looked annoyed. She looked to Kotori next but her other best friend didn’t seem too happy either. She was shaking her head in exasperation. Rin and Hanayo seemed to absorbed in what Nico was doing to notice anything else.   
  
“Too tight…” She mumbled though Maki didn’t seem to hear what she was saying.   
  
Honoka sighed and tried to focus on Nico again but she was distracted once more by the feeling of Maki’s breasts pushed against her arm. She gritted her teeth, trying not to think too much into it. She’d never thought too much about other people’s bodies until Chika had come along.   
  
“Damn you and your hotness…” She muttered under her breath.   
  
“Honoka.” Kotori said disapprovingly while Maki blushed.   
  
“Eh?! I-I didn’t mean to say that…” Honoka trailed off, aware it was an argument she wouldn’t win. Umi wasn’t even looking at her now. “Damn it.”  
  
“I don’t mind.” Maki said in a whisper as she leaned close to Honoka’s ear. “But maybe not in front of everyone else?”  
  
Honoka flinched away at that and wound up falling out of her hiding place, Maki’s grip on her arm causing her to fall with her.   
  
“Ouch…” She winced though she gave pause when she noticed a red-faced Maki staring down at her. “I-I’m sorry…”  
  
“It’s fine.” Maki said softly.   
  
“She ran!”  
  
“Huh?” Honoka sat up quickly, her forehead colliding with Maki’s. “Ouch! S-Sorry, Maki-chan. Can you get off me please?”  
  
“Yeah.” Maki got up and offered her hand to Honoka who reluctantly took it, allowing herself to be pulled up.   
  
“Uh…where did everyone else go?” Honoka asked uncertainly when she found no sign of Umi or the others.   
  
“I think they chased after Nico-chan…”  
  
“Come on then!” Honoka tightened her grip on Maki’s hand and took off running for the back of the store, tugging Maki along with her. They ran into the others there and Honoka followed Nozomi’s thoughtful gaze to Rin’s chest. “Huh?”  
  
Nozomi grinned and Honoka watched as the third year began to push Rin between the two cars it seemed that Nico had squeezed through.   
  
“I don’t want to do this, nya!” Rin complained as she squeezed between the vehicles. She emerged on the other side and didn’t see any sign of Nico. “She’s not here. Nyaaaa!”  
  
“Nozomi-chan, why did you do that?” Honoka frowned at Nozomi who gave a sheepish shrug.   
  
“I couldn’t fit.” She explained, pointing down at her own chest.  
  
Honoka sighed and watched as Hanayo went to Rin who had squeezed back through the gap between the vans. She flinched as a hand touched hers and looked to her right expecting to see Maki standing there. Instead, she found Umi, her expression stoic even as she lightly gripped Honoka’s hand. “Huh?”  
  
A moment later she felt an arm curl around her left again and she looked in that direction, finding a pouting Maki standing there. She gritted her teeth, barely managing to resist the urge to yell. She was going to write Chika a strongly worded note for the next time they switched.   
  
“U-Umi-chan, you’re holding my hand.” Honoka pointed out carefully.   
  
“I know.” Umi answered tersely though she couldn’t seem to continue what she was doing now that Honoka had commented on it. She pulled away, blushing.   
  
“Ahem…”  
  
Honoka glanced at Kotori who shook her head again in annoyance. “W-What? Why do you keep doing that?!”  
  
Kotori sighed and turned away from her.  
  
—  
  
Chika collapsed onto her bed with a relieved sigh. It had been a long day and she was sore from all of the dancing and running she’d had to do that day. Running after Yoshiko hadn’t been easy but at least the girl had joined them in the end with a little bit of convincing. She turned onto her stomach and stretched out, reaching for her marker as she did so.   
  
“I guess it’s time to make some notes for that closet perv.” She muttered though she couldn’t wipe the smile from her face as she rolled up her sleeve. She hadn’t thought it was possible to admire Honoka any more than she already did but that was the way it had turned out.   
  
‘Thank you’, She wrote on the back of her hand before pausing. She stared down at the writing for a moment before she nodded in approval. She tossed the marker aside and picked up her phone instead, opening her notes.   
  
“Um…” She thought for a moment before she began to type. “Rules for Honoka-chan…follow my older sibling’s rules. Be quiet before you go to bed or Mito-nee-san will wrestle you. Wake up early and don’t fondle my chest. My sister is starting to think I’m weird. Close your eyes when you change and don’t touch me below the waist! And remember to always tease Ruby-chan. Keep Shiitake away from Riko-chan. She has a phobia toward dogs, which is weird because dogs are the best. Be careful of Hanamaru-chan. She’s…spiritual. And be careful of Mari-chan too. She’s American…and Italian. Always encourage Yoshiko-chan to be herself. And remember not to touch me too much. NO BATHS!”  
  
She stopped writing her list and quickly looked it over. It was fine, she decided. She bit her lip and continued to write a little bit further down. “I want to thank you for guiding my friends and helping me. I wish we could meet in person. Maybe at Love-”  
  
She sat up suddenly, her blood running cold as something occurred to her. “Honoka-chan is supposed to be older than me. She should have graduated already, she shouldn’t be in school now…oh no. Have I been going back in time?!” She supposed it shouldn’t have been surprising. Switching bodies with someone was impossible too but she was still doing that somehow. “If I ask her to meet now I won’t know her. And she won’t want to know me now either.”  
  
She hurriedly deleted the part of her note about wanting to meet Honoka before tossing her phone aside. Her gaze flitted to the poster on her wall. “2013.” She noted in a whisper as she spotted the date at the bottom. “It’s 2016 now. I wonder what she’s doing. Maybe I’ve been screwing her future up all along. Maybe she’s dating Maki-chan now…Or Umi-chan.”  
  
Her heart twisted at the thought and she sank back down onto the bed, tears welling in her eyes. She would never get to meet Honoka. It just wasn’t possible. And everything she was doing when she was in Honoka’s body was probably screwing up the other girl’s future anyway.   
  
“Damn it!” She pounded her fist into her pillow. She felt sick and she wasn’t sure why. “IT’S NOT FAIR!”  
—  
  
Riko was woken from her light slumber though she wasn’t certain what had woken her. Truthfully she had only meant to lay down for a short while before doing some homework before bed. Looking at the clock she saw that it was past one in the morning though.   
  
She got up, shuffling over to her piano just to feel her fingers brush against the keys. She paused on her way though, noticing that Chika’s light was still on. She opened the balcony doors and stepped out, catching the sound of crying from Chika’s room. Her balcony door was open too, making it easy to hear.   
  
She stood still, horrified by the idea of Chika crying alone in her room. She had never seen Chika cry or lose hope. She couldn’t imagine what was wrong now. “Chika-chan? Chika-chan!”  
  
The crying stopped suddenly and a moment later Chika stumbled out onto her balcony. “R-Riko-chan? What’s wrong?”  
  
“What’s…wrong?”  
  
Riko almost laughed at the question but she was too shattered by the sight of tears on Chika’s cheeks. “I-I should be the person asking you that, shouldn’t I?”  
  
  
“I’m fine, really! I-I’m just upset that I can’t write these lyrics, that’s all!” Chika forced a laugh from her mouth. “I want to finish s-so you can compose.”  
  
“You’re lying.” Riko stated simply. “I’m coming over, okay? I’ll be there in a minute.”  
  
She didn’t give Chika a chance to argue before she turned and left her bedroom, grabbing a sweater on the way. She crept down the stairs and out of the house as quickly as she could before crossing to Chika’s house.   
  
Chika was waiting for her at the door and grabbed her hand when she got close enough, drawing her inside.   
  
“You’ll have to be quiet.” Chika warned in a whisper. “I don’t want to wake Mito-onee-san.”  
  
Riko nodded silently and didn’t say anything else until Chika had led her up the stairs and into her bedroom, closing the door behind them.   
  
“Chika-chan…” Riko started anxiously. “What’s really wrong? You never…” She faltered, not wanting Chika to think there was anything wrong with showing how she felt. “Just tell me.”   
  
Chika sank down onto her bed. “Nothing. It’s…nothing you can help with. I-I have a friend who…I can’t see very often. And eventually I might…never see her again.”  
  
Riko took a seat next to Chika. “A friend?”  
  
Chika nodded. “She’s older than me…”  
  
“Is it…Kanan-san?” Riko guessed thoughtfully. “Are you worried about when she graduates? I’m sure that doesn’t mean you’re never going to see her again. She’s been your friend since you were really young, hasn’t she?”  
  
“It’s not Kanan-chan. I know we’ll still keep in contact after she graduates. It’s…it’s just a secret. I’m sorry, Riko-chan.” Chika looked down at her lap, even more upset with herself at the prospect of upsetting Riko. She was surprised when a hand closed around one of her own.   
  
“It’s okay.” Riko said softly. “But if you want to talk about it you can talk to me. Or You-chan. She wouldn’t want to see you upset either.”  
  
Chika opened her mouth to thank Riko but tears unwittingly pricked at her eyes again and she had to press her hand to her mouth to muffle a sob.   
  
“Come here.”   
  
Through her tears, Chika saw Riko open her arms to her and she fell into them, crying quietly.   
  
—  
  
Honoka woke to the unfamiliar feeling of someone’s arm around her waist. “What…?” She turned over in confusion and inhaled sharply when she found Riko sleeping next to her. She was relieved when she looked under the covers and found they were both still fully clothed. “At least it wasn’t like that…”  
  
She couldn’t help but feel jealous however, with the knowledge that Riko was touching Chika.   
  
As she stared at Riko she realized that her cheeks were cold and damp. She reached up and ran her fingers over her face, pulling her hand back to find tears on her fingertips. “Huh…? Chika-chan was crying…?”  
  
She noticed something else on her hand. Writing. She smiled softly as she read it before reaching for Chika’s phone. She opened the newest note and read through, grimacing at the rules. “How did she even kno…Mito-onee-chan. Damn it.”  
  
She didn’t dwell on that for too long though. She was more concerned with why Chika was crying. Maybe she had gotten into a fight with one of her friends. You most likely. She could only imagine Chika being so upset over either Riko or You and it obviously wasn’t the former. Honoka’s heart ached at the thought of Chika getting into some kind of fight with You. Even just spending time in Chika’s body and seeing how You acted around her it was obvious how much the two cared for each other.   
  
She felt the arm around her waist move and looked to her left to see Riko slowly sitting up.   
  
“Good morning.” Riko said softly, a slight blush to her cheeks. She hadn’t really slept over at anyone’s house before. “Do you feel better?”  
  
“W-What are you talking about?” Honoka asked nervously.   
  
Riko looked bemused. “I mean you…you were crying last night. You were really upset, remember? I was just wondering if you feel better. I know I didn’t say anything to reassure you b-but I was hoping…”  
  
The combination of embarrassment and caring in Riko’s voice made Honoka think of Umi and her heart wrenched once more. Somehow she was hurting her own friend too, even though she didn’t mean to be.   
  
“Yeah.” She fixed a smile to her lips, trying to ignore how worried she felt about Chika. “I feel a lot better now. Thank you for being here, Riko-chan. You’re a good friend.”

TBC


	4. Chapter 4

When Chika woke up the first thing she noticed was the now familiar room she was in. It seemed almost as normal to wake up there as it was to wake up in her own body, in her own room. Turning her head, she caught a hint of Honoka’s scent on the pillow, of the fruity shampoo she liked to use.   
  
She would never smell that for real, not in a way that mattered. She would never be able to talk to Honoka even though she already felt so close to her. Her eyes prickled with tears and she turned over, burying her face into Honoka’s pillow. It wasn’t fair. None of it was fair. It smelled like her, even stronger than before.   
  
She wasn’t sure how long passed as she lay there, quietly crying. She heard the door crack open at one point but she ignored it. In the back of her mind she knew it didn’t matter who was there. It was the weekend. All she had to worry about was practice. Which she was certain she was already late for.   
  
A short while later, when her throat had become sore and the pillow was damp with tears, the door opened again.   
  
“Talk to her, please!” Yukiho’s voice pleaded. “She’s crying and she won’t stop and it’s freaking me out! I don’t know what to do.”

“You can do it, Umi-chan!” Kotori exclaimed positively before Chika heard the door close. There was still someone in the room though. She could hear them moving.   
  
After a moment the mattress dipped next to her and a hesitant hand touched her back.   
  
“H-Honoka?” Umi stuttered as she watched Honoka’s shoulders trembling. “What’s wrong? Y-Yukiho was worried about you. I’m…I’m worried about you too.”  
  
The warmth of Umi’s hand on her back was welcome but Chika could tell the girl’s hand was shaking. She wondered if Honoka even knew that Umi had a crush on her. She doubted it. She felt slightly bitter about the fact. Umi was a great girl, she could tell that even after spending such a short amount of time with her, yet Chika wanted to be the person by Honoka’s side. Honoka would be better off with Umi. It wasn’t like she herself could even be friends with Honoka, realistically. “U-Umi-chan…”  
  
Umi flinched at Honoka’s meek voice and pulled her hand away. “I-I’m sorry, I…”  
  
Chika turned over and scooted closer to Umi instead, huddling close to her, her forehead pressed against the girl’s thigh. “I-I want…” She stopped herself before she could say she wanted Riko. Her presence alone had helped the previous night but now she wasn’t there. They weren’t even in the same time.   
  
Despite her face being red with embarrassment, Umi didn’t pull away. She gently stroked Honoka’s hair with shaky fingers. “I’m right here. If you want Kotori, I can…”  
  
“No!” Chika exclaimed quickly. She didn’t want anyone else seeing her - or rather, Honoka, in such a state. “Just you.”  
  
“J-Just me?” Umi stuttered in surprise. “What about…Maki?”  
  
Chika shook her head against Umi’s thigh. “I don’t want anyone else to see me like this. O-Only Umi-chan should.”  
  
Umi was sure her face was bright red by now so she was glad Honoka wasn’t looking at her.   
  
A couple of minutes passed in silence before Chika sniffled and pushed herself into a sitting position. “I-I need to tell Maki-chan that I can’t be with her.”  
  
Umi’s heart leapt to her throat. She had imagined this a few times. Usually in her imagination Honoka would go on to say that it wasn’t right with Maki because she was in love with Umi. “W-Why?”  
  
Chika wiped at her eyes. “I don’t like her like that a-and I’m not ready for a relationship. I want to be closer to Maki-chan but not like…this. I just want to focus on Love Live and my friends. I don’t like anyone like that.”  
  
Umi grimaced but looked away to hide it. “I see.”  
  
Chika hoped that she hadn’t messed up again. She knew that Honoka wasn’t ready for a romantic relationship despite the girl’s odd habit when it came to Chika’s own body.   
  
“You should tell her.” Umi finally said, looking back to Honoka. “Just be honest with her. Tell her you can’t be with her like that but you still want to be closer to her. I’m sure that’ll make her feel better at least. As long as she knows you care about her.”  
  
“I-I will. Thank you, Umi-chan.” Chika bit her lip, noticing that Umi looked a bit down.   
  
“I’m still your best friend though, right?” Umi said, struggling not to give into the tightness in her chest. “Maki’s not going to…”  
  
“Of course not.” Chika interrupted quickly. “Umi-chan will always be my very best friend. You and Kotori-chan.” She moved to her knees and threw her arms around Umi’s neck, hugging her tightly. She wondered how it was possible that Honoka couldn’t even see how much Umi loved her. She supposed the girl was just that oblivious.   
  
Maybe in time Honoka would figure it out and she would end up with Umi, Chika thought as she felt Umi hug her back. She didn’t like the idea but she was just being selfish. Umi was good for Honoka. Umi would be good for anyone really. So would Maki now that she thought about it. Chika herself wouldn’t be especially good for Honoka, or anyone. Not that Honoka would look twice at her.   
  
She blushed, remembering her sister asking if she was touching herself. Obviously Honoka had been, for some reason. Maybe there was a slight attraction but in her own time she would be sixteen and Honoka would be nineteen. There was no way Honoka would be attracted to her.   
  
—-  
  
Chika was tense as she walked up the stairs to Maki’s bedroom, having been let in by the redhead’s mom. She had decided, that at the very least she was going to fix things for Honoka. Even if she couldn’t meet her in person she was going to help her. The least she could do was start by fixing her own mistakes.

Maki was waiting for her at her door, obviously having heard her speaking to her mother. “Honoka, I-I didn’t expect to see you today.”  
  
Chika shrugged her shoulders and forced a smile. “I needed to speak to you.”  
  
“What’s wrong?” Maki waited until Honoka reached her before she stepped back into her bedroom. When the second year entered she closed the door after her. “You look a bit…upset?”  
  
“I am.” Chika said honestly, pausing next to the bed. She didn’t want to sit down. The bed was neatly made and she didn’t want to ruin it. She didn’t have a right. “Maki-chan, I um…I really like you. Like a lot.”  
  
Maki smiled warmly as she joined her next to the bed. “I like you too. A lot. I’m really glad you’re here.”  
  
Chika grimaced and took a moment to glance around the room. Maki really didn’t make it easy. “Um, well…” She paused, feeling arms go around her waist.   
  
“Are you nervous about being here?” Maki murmured, pressing her lips gently to Honoka’s neck. “Don’t be nervous…”  
  
“Uh…” Chika struggled to think. She needed to say what she’d come to say but what Maki was doing felt nice. “I-I um…” She gripped Maki’s arms and moved her back, determined to show some self-control. “Maki-chan, please listen.”  
  
Maki raised an eyebrow. “I’m listening.”  
  
“We…” Chika took a deep breath. She was doing this for Honoka. “We can’t do this anymore. Being together, I mean. I’m…just not ready for something like this. I’m sorry.”  
  
Maki’s face fell and she took a hurried step back. “What? I thought this was what you wanted. You said you like me. Is it because I rushed you into…kissing and…?”  
  
“No, I do like you!” Chika said quickly. “And kissing you is nice. I just don’t like you…in that way. I know I gave you mixed signals and I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. But I don’t think we should be distracted from Love Live and you need to focus on your studies anyway. ”

“Right.” Maki mumbled. She reached up, curling a strand of hair around her finger and averted her eyes. “I-I guess I should have seen this coming. After you seemed relieved when Nozomi interrupted us the other day…”  
  
“Nozomi-chan?” Chika echoed in confusion. She wondered what Honoka had been talking to Nozomi about. “Yeah, um…I’m sorry, Maki-chan. I really do want to be closer to you as your friend though. If…that’s okay with you.”  
  
Maki forced a smile. “Sure. We can still be friends.”  
  
Chika breathed a sigh of relief. “Thank you, Maki-chan. Do you…mind if I stay for a bit? I don’t want to go home yet.” She laughed nervously and rubbed the back of her neck.  
  
Maki shrugged her shoulders, trying not to let Honoka see how happy the question made her. “Sure, if you want.”  
  
—  
  
Mindful of Maki’s comment about Nozomi, Chika did her utmost to avoid the third year but of course the girl eventually managed to spot her at the local shrine she volunteers at.   
  
“Umi-chan, can I have a moment with Honoka-chan, please?” Nozomi smiled sweetly at Umi who looked confused. Chika felt her stomach plummet. She’d felt relatively safe, as long as she wasn’t alone with Nozomi. “I need to talk to her about Maki-chan. I don’t think you’ll want to hear it, those two are quite…”  
  
“Ah, alright, alright!” Umi quickly got to her feet and brushed past Nozomi. “Shameless…”  
  
Nozomi waited until Umi went down the stone steps behind her before she spoke up. “Are you in there, Chika-chan?”  
  
“W-Wha…?!”  
  
“Don’t worry, Honoka-chan told me everything.” Nozomi assured her, crossing her arms in front of her chest. She laughed as Chika opened and closed her mouth in shock a couple of times. “Don’t act so surprised. You’re not very subtle about it, Chika-chan. You always wear your hair differently when you’re…you.” She pointed to Chika’s hair which was partially braided.   
  
Chika frowned and reached up to touch her hair. “Honoka-chan said I’m not supposed to talk to you.”  
  
“What different does it make? I already know.” Nozomi answered, clearly amused. She stepped forward, raising an eyebrow when Chika shrunk back. “What? I’m not going to bite.”  
  
“I-It’s not that. What if someone comes up the steps?” Chika asked worriedly. “Especially our classmates. I don’t want them to get the wrong idea about us.”  
  
“Relax, it’s not like I’m going to kiss you or anything. Unless you want me to?” Nozomi teased, a smirk playing at her lips.   
  
“No!” Chika exclaimed quickly, holding her hands up. “Of course not.”  
  
Nozomi laughed at the response. “I only have eyes for one girl so I wouldn’t have kissed you anyway.”  
  
“Eli-chan?” Chika guessed curiously, earning herself a surprised look. “J-Just a guess. I mean she is your best friend so I guess it makes sense that you’d like her. Plus, I-I um…kind of read your bios so…”  
  
“Bios?” Nozomi asked in confusion. “What do you mean? We’re only a school idol group, we’d only have bios if we were like…”  
  
Chika cursed under her breath. She hadn’t meant to share that. She watched as realization crossed Nozomi’s face.   
  
“Wait, are you…serious?” Even Nozomi was surprised by that. “S-So obviously you’re from…the future? If we’re as big as A-Rise it has to be the future. What year is it where you’re from?”

“2016.” Chika answered awkwardly, wringing her hands in front of her. “You can’t tell Honoka-chan. I-I don’t want her to know. And I can’t tell you anything else either, I think it’ll change things.”  
  
Nozomi nodded silently. She could understand that. She noticed Chika clench her hands into fists at her sides and unclench them as if she was trying to give herself something to focus on. “Why don’t you want her to know?”

“I don’t…I don’t want her to lose focus.” Chika answered, a little embarrassed. “We both need to focus on Love Live! Aquors may not be as good as Muse but we’re really trying. And Honoka-chan is trying her best to help us, she’s…she’s been amazing. She’s so much better at leading them than I am.”  
  
Nozomi shook her head. “Oh come on. Honoka-chan can still be a bit of an idiot. She’s clumsy and she’s forgetful sometimes. I’m sure you’re not a bad leader.”  
  
“Yeah but even though she’s those things you all still love her and look up to her.” Chika mumbled, looking down at the ground. “I do too. I wouldn’t blame my friends if they didn’t feel anything like that about me.”  
  
“Honoka-chan is special.” Nozomi smiled softly. “But that doesn’t mean you aren’t too. Obviously Honoka-chan sees something in you. You should hear the way she talks about you, it’s just like the way you talk about her.”  
  
Chika briefly tucked her lip between her teeth. “I wish I could know her. For real.”  
  
“Maybe you will.” Nozomi stepped forward and pulled the familiar looking girl into her arms, hugging her gently. “Just give it some time.”  
  
—  
  
Honoka frowned to herself as she stared down at the water below. She couldn’t stop thinking about Chika and why she had been crying the previous night. Riko hadn’t said anything, obviously not wanting to bring it up again in case it upset her. Honoka still had no idea what had upset Chika in the first place though. She supposed it could be something to do with Love Live, or maybe she’d had an argument with someone else in the group. Obviously not Riko of course.   
  
“Chika-chan. Chika-chan!”  
  
Honoka flinched as she was prodded in the shoulder. “Huh?”  
  
“I’ve been calling you for five minutes. Weren’t you listening?” You rolled her eyes and moved to sit next to Chika. “What’s wrong? We’re out on the water and you’re just moping around. Did you and Riko-chan have a fight? Is that why she said we should take the day off from training today?”  
  
“No, nothing like that.” Honoka answered with a shake of her head. “I’m fine. Everything’s fine. I’ve just been doing some thinking, that’s all.”  
  
“What about?” You asked curiously, sliding a bit closer. It was obvious that something was bothering Chika. “Can I help with whatever it is?”  
  
Honoka smiled softly. If Riko was Chika’s Umi, You was certainly her Kotori. Chika was lucky to have such supportive friends. “I’ll let you know if you can. I just want to spend time with you right now and then we can think about everything else later, right?”  
  
“Right.” You said warmly. She bumped Chika’s shoulder with her own and flashed her a bright smile. “So what do you want to do for the rest of the day? We don’t have to stay out here all day.”  
  
“I don’t mind if that’s what You-chan wants.” Honoka said solemnly, eager to make up for being so spaced out. She couldn’t help but worry about Chika though. Whatever was on the girl’s mind was obviously serious or she wouldn’t be crying about it. Honoka liked to think that she knew her well enough to know she wouldn’t get so upset over just anything.   
  
“Let’s head back to the docks and we’ll get something to eat.” You offered hopefully. “We can find Riko-chan and see if she wants to join us too. It’ll be nice, the three of us hanging out. Maybe it’ll take your mind off things.”  
  
“Thanks, You.” Honoka said gratefully. She watched as You jumped to her feet and went to steer the boat back to the docks. Sighing, Honoka leaned back on her hands and allowed her thoughts to drift back to Chika. It wasn’t as though she could ask her what was wrong unless she left her a note but even then Chika wouldn’t be guaranteed to tell her. Just because Honoka had feelings for her didn’t mean Chika felt comfortable enough with her to tell her her secrets. Honoka wanted to help though, in any way that she could, and it was frustrating to not know what was going on.   
  
She felt a hand on her shoulder and realized that while she had been glaring out at the water, You had managed to get them back to the docks. She got to her feet and flashed Chika’s friend a quick smile before she stepped onto the docks. She had walked halfway along the dock when she spotted two girls running toward her. One of them she recognized as Riko though the other person she couldn’t place.   
  
“Hey Chika.” The blue haired girl Honoka didn’t recognize stopped next to her, a cautious smile on her face. Honoka almost flinched away when the girl ruffled her hair. “I was just coming to see if you want to hang out.”  
  
“O-Oh, I was just going for lunch with You-chan…” Honoka looked over her shoulder at You who responded with a cheerful shrug.   
  
“We can all go.” You suggested brightly. “It’ll give us all time to hang out and talk. Is that okay with you, Kanan-chan?”  
  
“Kanan-chan.” Honoka echoed while Kanan nodded in response.  
  
Kanan raised an eyebrow as she looked at Chika. She was already starting to see what Riko meant when she’d said Chika was acting strange. “Well we can go to my dad’s store. It’s close by and I can make us some shredded ice. The only flavours I have today are blue raspberry, Mikan and strawberry though…”  
  
“I’ll have mikan today.” You said as she nudged Chika to start walking.   
  
“Uh…I guess I’ll have strawberry?” Honoka guessed hopefully. Something cool did sound nice after spending all day in the sun. She noticed You and Kanan cast her sceptical looks. “What?”  
  
“Nothing, you…usually go crazy for mikan. Even more than You.” Kanan said, still staring at Honoka as they began to walk away from the docks. “Strawberry it is though. You too, right Riko? I guess I’ll have blue raspberry than….”  
  
Honoka couldn’t help but stare at Kanan as the girl rambled on about the type of shredded ice she would be having. She didn’t recognise her at all but it was clear she was close to Chika. Honoka wasn’t sure what to think. The girl was like an odd combination of Eli and Nozomi.   
  
“You’re staring, Chika.” Kanan slowed down so she could fall into step next to Chika. She slung an arm around her shoulders with a grin. “It hasn’t been that long since you last saw me.”  
  
“Ah, sorry!” Honoka exclaimed, embarrassed at being caught staring. “I didn’t mean to. You just um…look nice today?”  
  
Kanan looked down at herself, crinkling her nose. She wasn’t wearing anything especially nice. In fact she was still in her wetsuit. “Um…thanks?”  
  
Honoka shrugged her shoulders in response but Kanan still didn’t let go of her. She gritted her teeth, torn between jealousy and confusion. She couldn’t help but wonder just how close Chika and this ‘Kanan’ were. Not that it mattered. It wasn’t as though Chika was hers to be jealous over. She squirmed out from under Kanan’s arm and hooked her own arm through You’s instead, pressing close to her side. You shot her a confused look but thankfully didn’t ask any questions.   
  
Unfortunately, Riko felt the need to. “Are you okay Chika-chan?”  
  
“I’m fine.” Honoka said with a forced smile. “This is just my day with You-chan, t-that’s all.”  
  
Riko didn’t seem convinced but she opted not to argue. 


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter, thanks for the kudos and comments. I hope you enjoy this! :)

Honoka woke to the feeling of tears clinging to her cheeks from the previous night. She lifted her hand to her face in confusion. It only took her a moment to work out what was happening. The blankets she was burrowed under weren’t her own but rather Chika’s. “Why is she crying again…?” She murmured to herself, her chest tightening in sympathy. She wished Chika would tell her what was going on. Even more than that, she wished she actually had the ability to ask her.   
  
She reached out for her phone, hoping that Chika had left her some kind of message so she could figure out for herself what was happening. Her hand bumped into someone else instead and she quickly pulled it back. She sat up, throwing her blankets off and looked to her right, finding You sleeping to her right and Riko to her left.  
  
She looked to the side, finding Ruby, Yoshiko and Hanamaru lying on two futons that had been spread out for them. “What…?” She scratched the back of her neck, puzzled by their presence. She’d never woken up to a sleepover before. She turned to her right and reached over You, trying to get Chika’s phone from the bedside table. 

“Chika-chan, what are you doing?” You groaned tiredly. 

“I-I need my phone…”  
  
“Please stop looking at the number. You need to relax.” You pushed at Chika’s shoulders, gently forcing her back down to the futon. “We’ll get better, I promise.”  
  
“Huh?”  
  
“Saint Snow already beat us. We can’t do anything for now.” You said softly, turning onto her side so that she was facing Chika. “I know you’re upset but like Riko-chan said, this isn’t your fault, okay?”  
  
“O-Okay.” Honoka stuttered, trying to piece together what was going on. She could only assume that their performance had gone badly. “You-chan, the number…can you tell me it? Just one more time. Please?”  
  
“Chika-chan, you can’t beat yourself up over this.” Surprisingly it was Riko who spoke up from her other side. Honoka looked over her shoulder at her. “And we don’t want to hurt you by saying it again.”  
  
“Please Riko-chan?” Honoka pleaded. She needed to know what was going on. She couldn’t stand not knowing.  
  
“You remember, we were in last place…” Riko said meekly, casting a brief concerned glance toward You who shrugged her shoulders.   
  
“L-Last…” Honoka murmured, her eyes wide in shock.   
  
Riko felt a stab of guilt as Chika’s eyes flooded with tears. “W-wait. Chika-chan, please don’t cry again. We talked about this, we can do better next time!”  
  
Honoka scrambled over You to get out of the bed and grabbed her phone. She hurried from the room and ducked into the bathroom, locking the door behind her. Hurriedly, she pulled up the score and gasped at the sight of it. “Zero. They got zero. How…” She shook her head, at a loss. “I failed them. I freaking failed them! DAMN IT!”  
  
“Chika-chan?” You knocked lightly on the door. “Chika-chan, please let us in.”  
  
“I’m fine!” Honoka choked out, still staring at the zero on the screen of Chika’s phone. Zero. Not even one. The door opened suddenly and she turned toward it, stunned that they had managed to get past the lock.   
  
Riko and You stood there, the three first years behind them.   
  
“Chika-chan, we told you not to look!” Riko entered the room and crossed it, taking the phone from Chika. You was right next to her, wrapping her arms around her.   
  
Riko looked on in worry as Chika cried into You’s shoulder, her shoulders shaking with sobs.

“I’m sorry…” Honoka choked out repeatedly, clenching You’s shirt in her fists. “I’m so sorry…”  
  
“We told you it’s not your fault.” Riko gently ran her hand over the top of Chika’s head, trying to console her. “It’s okay to be frustrated. We’ll get over it, even if it’s only by one.”  
  
Honoka shook her head. “I failed her…” She could only imagine how Chika must feel and she couldn’t even offer her any kind of comfort. It wasn’t like she could just find her and hug her or anything like that. “Damn it!”  
  
“You didn’t fail anyone, Chika-chan.” Riko said soothingly, her chest aching. She didn’t know what she could say to make Chika feel better. It seemed even worse than the previous night.   
  
Yoshiko opened her mouth to speak but before she could say anything, Hanamaru had grabbed her hand and pulled her from the room.   
  
Ruby wandered over and pressed herself into Chika’s side, trying to help as much as she could. “It’ll be okay. Maybe we can get my sister to help.”  
  
“D-Dia-san?” Honoka sniffled, looking down at the first year.   
  
“Yeah!” Ruby exclaimed brightly. “Onee-chan still cares, I know it! She won’t say no to us, I’m sure of it! I’ll ask her later today. I-In fact I’ll call her right now!”  
  
Honoka could only stare as Ruby whipped out her phone and scrolled through her phonebook, finally dialling a number.   
  
“Ruby, where are you? Are you okay? Do I have to come and pick you up?!” Dia began rattling off questions before Ruby could say anything. “Did Chika do something stupid?!”  
  
“I-I’m fine, Onee-chan. Chika-chan is…” She hesitated as she looked at a tearful Chika. “We need your help.”  
  
Honoka wiped at her eyes as she watched Ruby, amazed by the girl’s sudden burst of determination. She couldn’t really compare Ruby to anyone in Muse, she’d grown to find. She shared similarities with Hanayo but they were still vastly different.   
  
As Ruby turned away to continue her discussion with Dia, Riko continued to gently rub Chika’s shoulder. “See? Nobody blames you, Chika-chan. We just want to help you.”  
  
Riko, on the other hand reminded her undeniably of Umi. For the most part, she was straight laced and maybe even a bit uptight but the caring look in her eyes was the same as Honoka always found in Umi’s. “Thank you, Riko-chan…”  
  
“We’re all here for you.” You hugged Chika from the side, her own eyes prickling a bit. She blinked to hide it though. She hated seeing Chika so upset, especially with herself.   
  
“You-chan…” Honoka pressed her face into You’s shoulder, welcoming the strong embrace. If Riko reminded her of Umi, You certainly reminded her of Kotori. She was the most physical of the friends. She didn’t hesitate to comfort with a squeeze of the hand or a hug. Not to mention she seemed to be the most physically fit. Honoka could feel it in the strength of her embrace. She didn’t just see Kotori in her though. There was a bit of Rin too. It didn’t seem like a combination that would necessarily work, but it did.   
  
She hugged You back as tightly as she could, feeling You’s embrace tighten in return. You was warm, so warm that Honoka just wanted to stay where she was. Ruby’s voice interrupted them though and she pulled back to listen.   
  
“Okay, Onee-chan says she’ll meet us outside with Mari-chan, a bit later in the morning.” Ruby advised them quietly. “I don’t know why they were together but Onee-chan says it was none of my business anyway so…”  
  
“Let’s have some breakfast and try to relax a little, okay?” Riko asked with a small smile as she gently rubbed Chika’s back. “Chika-chan?”  
  
Honoka shook her head and hugged You tighter. She wished she could believed that she would be able to relax but she couldn’t even think about eating. She pressed her face into You’s shoulder, still sniffling softly.   
  
“I-I’ll go back to the room with Chika-chan.” You said, fighting a blush as the words left her mouth. “I don’t think she’s ready to go downstairs just yet and I’m not really hungry.”  
  
“I can stay too.” Riko volunteered quietly, wary of leaving Chika alone when she was in such a state. “If…If Chika-chan wants me to?”  
  
Honoka nodded and blindly reached back for Riko. Warm hands gently closed around hers and soon enough she felt You and Riko help her up and guide her back to Chika’s bedroom.   
  
—  
  
“1…2…3…4…” Maki recited, watching in slight concern as Honoka stumbled her way through her steps. She wasn’t quite in time but she was only a second or so out. “1…2…wait. Honoka, maybe you’re just pushing yourself too much.”  
  
She couldn’t help but notice that Honoka’s forehead was damp with sweat and she was breathing heavily. “You’re going to get sick again if you keep this up.”  
  
Chika leaned over, her hands on her knees. “Is Maki-chan worried about me? You’re sweet…”  
  
Maki rolled her eyes. “Don’t think that’s going to distract me. What’s going on with you? You’re acting like…” She paused, taking a moment to think. “Like you’re worried about something. About Love Live?”  
  
“I’m worried I’m not good enough.” Chika admitted softly, suddenly serious. She met Maki’s gaze unflinchingly. Out of everyone in this time, she trusted Maki the most. Along with Nozomi. “I’m worried I’ll fail you.”  
  
“Fail me?” Maki echoed, her brow furrowed in concern. She wasn’t sure what Honoka could mean by that. “Why would you fail me? You’re doing your best for us, that’s…all that matters, right? I think so anyway. I believe in you. And…well so does everyone else in Muse.”  
  
Chika opened her mouth to tell Maki she appreciated her support but she was interrupted by the door to the roof opening. Nozomi stepped out and Chika felt a brief flash of relief. At least with Nozomi she didn’t have to pretend to be someone she wasn’t and she didn’t have to keep what had happened to herself.  
  
Nozomi paused at the sight of them. “Oh…am I interrupting something?”  
  
“No, not at all.” Chika said with a quick shake of her head. “Were you looking for me?”  
  
Nozomi noticed the hint of hope in Honoka’s voice and faltered slightly. Looking at her properly for the first time she noticed that she was wearing her hair in a half side braid. “Oh, you’re…right.” She gave a quick shake of her head. “I wasn’t looking for you but we can talk if you need to. Is something wrong?”  
  
“Yeah, I um…I do need to talk to you. Please.” Chika said hopefully. She cast a quick glance at Maki.   
  
“Oh, I’ll go then.” Maki said though she couldn’t help but feel a bit jealous that Honoka was opening up to Nozomi instead of her. She understood in a way though. If she had a problem Nozomi would probably be the first person she went to with it. “I’ll be in the music room if you need me.”  
  
Chika watched with a hint of guilt as Maki left, closing the door behind her. She hadn’t meant to offend the redhead. Realizing that Nozomi hadn’t pressed her for any information, she glanced over at her and found her staring into space. “Nozomi-chan?”  
  
“Hmm? Oh, sorry Chika-chan.” Nozomi shook her head and forced herself to focus. “So what’s going on? You said something’s wrong?”   
  
“Yeah…” Chika bit her lip and looked away for a moment. “Um…d-do you think Honoka-chan has ever felt like a failure? Like…maybe she’s letting everyone down?”  
  
Nozomi was silent for a few seconds, clearly taking Chika’s question quite seriously. “During our first try getting into Love Live, probably. I think she felt like she let everyone in Muse down because we didn’t make it.”  
  
“Oh…” Chika mumbled. She wished she could just talk to Honoka herself about what happened. That wasn’t exactly possible though.   
  
“She almost quit because she felt guilty for that.” Nozomi continued. She sat down on the floor and looked up at Chika. “Now that I think back to it, the only reason she got her fever was because she was overworking herself. Kind of like you are now.”  
  
Chika sheepishly shrugged her shoulders. “I need to get better. For my friends. They all want to be school idols and I-I feel like I talked them into it, at least a little bit. I don’t want them to be disappointed. I don’t want to let them all down.”  
  
“I’m sure they don’t feel like that.” Nozomi said reassuringly. She patted the space next to her. “Here. Come and sit with me for a minute.”  
  
Chika hesitantly went to sit next to Nozomi. She was surprised when the older girl wrapped her arm around her shoulders to draw her close to her side but she didn’t pull away.   
  
“You remind me of Honoka-chan. And not just because you look like her.” Nozomi said wistfully. “You have her determination. Her optimism. If your friends are anything like us they look up to you, they love you whether you succeed or fail. That’s how we all feel about Honoka-chan.”  
  
Chika thought of You, Riko and the others and had to blink against oncoming tears. They were all there for her. She knew that. “Thank you, Nozomi-chan…”  
  
—  
  
Honoka managed to calm down with Riko and You at her side though she couldn’t deny that she was still beside herself at the thought of Chika’s dreams being crushed by the result they’d gotten. She couldn’t stop thinking about how upset the girl had seemed to be over the past few days. Maybe Chika had been able to see it coming before it had even happened. Maybe she’d found herself falling behind the other girls in Aquors.   
  
It had been an hour since Honoka had woken up and she still hadn’t managed to shift herself from Chika’s bed again. Riko had excused herself ten or so minutes ago, saying that she would make them some tea but she hadn’t returned. It hadn’t escaped Honoka’s notice that the redhead hadn’t really been looking at her when she left either. She couldn’t help but think that Riko was secretly angry with her, for letting the group down. Maybe she was just trying to be nice about the whole situation but she actually resented her. The idea both stung and made her blood boil with anger. She couldn’t stand the thought of Chika being blamed for Honoka’s own mistakes.   
  
You noticed Chika looking at the door and gently stroked her cheek, causing crimson eyes to flit back toward her. “Don’t worry about Riko-chan. I think she just doesn’t like to see you upset.”  
  
Honoka forced a smile. “Thanks, You-chan…”  
  
You watched her hand as she moved it back to Chika’s shoulder. “You gonna give up now, Chika-chan?”  
  
Honoka bit her lip. She really didn’t know what to say to that. She just felt so hurt for Chika. Her chest hadn’t loosened up one bit since she’d heard the news. “I-I don’t know.”  
  
You’s eyes widened for a second in surprise but she quickly schooled her features back to neutral. “You love being a school idol. If you’re worried about us, you don’t have to. We’re here because we want to be. Just like Riko-chan said yesterday, remember?”  
  
“Are you disappointed in me, You-can?” Honoka asked, refocusing her gaze on You’s.   
  
“What? No!” You exclaimed quickly. “Of course not. Why would you even think that? We did this as a group! All of us together, it’s…it’s not your fault! Don’t blame yourself, please.”  
  
“I can’t help it.” Honoka could barely speak against the lump lodged in her throat. She should have done more. She should have made sure that Chika was keeping up with the training. It had to be distracting to switch bodies with someone all of the time. “I let you all down. I-I let her down.”  
  
“Her? Riko-chan?” You’s heart sank at the response. She should have known that was what was wrong. It seemed Riko was Chika’s main priority lately. “That’s not true. I know it’s not. Riko-chan doesn’t blame you either.”  
  
—  
  
Honoka stayed close to You as she walked with the others to the beach. She could feel Riko close to her side too, the presence of both of them providing her a great deal of comfort. She resisted the urge to grasp You’s hand, her heart in her throat as she thought back to how Chika was feeling. Maybe she was angry with her, or upset with her at least.   
  
“There’s Dia-san.” You said, spotting the student council president herself.   
  
Honoka watched as Ruby picked up her pace, hurrying to get to her sister. She one the other hand, slowed down slightly, reluctant to approach the third year. She felt You slow down with her, placing a kind hand on her shoulder to urge her along. She managed a small smile at that. She was starting to really understand what kind of person You was. The same could be said for Riko, who was looking over her shoulder at her in worry, making sure she was still nearby.   
  
Dia watched as Chika walked toward her as slowly as possible. She barely managed to keep herself from huffing out loud as she waited with Ruby at her side.   
  
“Please be nice, Onee-chan.” Ruby reminded Dia in a whisper.   
  
Dia nodded silently as Chika finally reached them. “Ruby tells me you’re struggling with the result you received?”  
  
Honoka gave a shrug of her shoulders. She didn’t see how this would help.   
  
Dia sighed. “As I told you last night, this result doesn’t mean that you’ve failed. There’s so much competition now. And so many people who want to be school idols, with Muse and A-Rise making it more popular.”  
  
Honoka was barely listening. All she could think about was how distraught Chika must be. “I did fail. I failed everyone.” She crossed her arms in front of her chest, her eyes flitting this way and that. She didn’t want to focus on anyone in Aqours. She had failed them. But most importantly she’d failed Chika. She heard You make a soft sound of distress next to her but she couldn’t do anything.   
  
Riko sighed in frustration and moved in front of Chika, gently grasping her arms. “Chika-chan, listen to me! Don’t you remember what I said? I know it’s frustrating. We all feel that way. But you don’t need to feel guilty. We all chose to be here. I…they all made this decision on their own. We all did. And it doesn’t matter if we can’t go from zero to one hundred right away. But we might be able to get to one. And after that…I don’t know. None of us do but we’ll find out together. Together, Chika-chan!”  
  
Honoka stared at Riko, at the fiery determination in her eyes. Eyes that were only a small amount lighter than Umi’s. She wanted Umi now more than ever before. She knew that Umi would know what to say to make her feel better. She always did. She stepped close to Riko and wrapped her arms around her tightly, pressing her face into the girl’s shoulder. “I don’t want to disappoint you.” She choked out though she wasn’t sure she was talking to Riko or Chika.   
  
You bit her lip and glanced away. She’d had a feeling this was about Riko. Chika clearly adored her.   
  
Riko sighed and hugged Chika back, closing her eyes. “The only way you’d disappoint me is if you give up. That’s not you.”  
  
Honoka took a moment to compose herself, continuing to hold onto Riko as tightly as she could before she slowly drew back. She turned to Dia, determination written across her face. “So, number one school idol fan…what do we do?”  
  
The rest of the group let out relieved sighs. You was relieved too though she was distracted by the way Chika’s hand had slid down to grip Riko’s. The redhead didn’t even seem to notice, her attention fixated on Dia who nodded in approval before she piped up.  
  
“We need Kanan-san and Mari-san.”   
  
—  
  
Umi nervously nibbled on her lower lip as she cast a glance over at Honoka. Her friend had turned up at her door without mentioning that she was coming over and had asked if Umi wanted to study with her. She hadn’t asked if Umi could give her the answers and Umi hadn’t had to bribe her into studying, she’d decided of her own accord that she was going to. That was concerning in itself. The fact that Honoka hadn’t spoken in the past thirty minutes was worrying too. Usually she was so easily distracted.   
  
“Do you need any help?” Umi asked from her kneeling position on the floor, unable to hold herself back any longer.   
  
Chika looked up, forcing a small smile to her lips. “I’m fine, thank you, Umi-chan.” She lowered her gaze again, finishing the question she had been doing while Umi watched her anxiously. After a moment she lowered her pen.   
  
“Honoka?” Umi prompted softly when Honoka merely stared at the book she’d been writing in. She watched as Honoka seemed to inhale slowly then give a shaky exhale. She pushed her own books to the side and crawled over to her. “Honoka, what’s going on? I’m worried.”  
  
“I-I didn’t really need to do homework. I just wanted to be with you for a while.” Chika confessed softly, trying to keep tears at bay. “I’m sorry I came over so suddenly.”  
  
Umi’s heart wrenched in her chest. “That’s okay.” She said softly, reaching up to gently stroke Honoka’s hair.   
  
Chika leaned into Umi, sniffling softly. “Am I a good leader?”  
  
Umi didn’t answer right away. She didn’t want to make Honoka any more worried than she already was. “You’re reckless, you’re headstrong…you’re impulsive and you never listen. But you’re the heart of our group, Honoka. You bring people together. You help us face our fears and believe in ourselves. Muse wouldn’t be Muse without you.”  
  
“I don’t understand.” Chika looked up at Umi in confusion. “Why do you believe in me so much?”  
  
Umi’s breath caught in her throat as she looked at Honoka, noticing the way her tears clung to her lashes, the moisture that lingered in her eyes making the blue shimmer. “Because I love you.” She admitted softly. Her heart seized with panic immediately after. She couldn’t just come out and say that to Honoka. Even if she had been trying to talk herself into confessing for a while. Kotori had been trying to get her to confess too. “B-Because we all love you. And we all know what you can do when you set your mind to it. We trust you.”  
  
“Have you ever…” Chika bit her lip. “Liked someone?”  
  
Umi froze in fear though she knew it was impossible for Honoka to know what she had been thinking about. “What?”  
  
“Like…the way I thought I liked Maki-chan.” Chika continued quietly. “I-I think I…” She stopped herself, noticing the look on Umi’s face. “N-Nevermind. Thank you, Umi-chan. I don’t know what I would do without you.”  
  
As Honoka hugged her, her head on her chest, Umi allowed herself to hope for a split second. Maybe Honoka had stopped herself because she liked her. Maybe she was the person Honoka was talking about. “Honoka…” She wanted to tell her that if it was her she would never reject her. It would be the opposite in fact. She didn’t want to assume though. She sighed and kissed the top of Honoka’s head. “I really do love you. You’re my best friend.”  
  
“I love you too, Umi-chan.” Chika answered automatically.  
  
Umi sighed again and cursed herself for adding that last part. She just needed to tell her. She needed to make it clear that she was in fact head over heels in love with her best friend. 


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> CHAPTER REUPLOAD because I fudged up the last one. Guess that's what I get for updating too much in one night, heh. That's pretty embarrassing though...but yeah here's the real next chapter!

Nozomi was reading over the report she’d been putting off for a few weeks when she heard Eli let out an indignant growl. She looked up in time to see her best friend throw her pen. It bounced off the table, landing out of sight.    
  
“You okay over there, Elichi?” She asked in amusement, raising an eyebrow. She couldn’t imagine Eli was frustrated because of homework. She was probably finished already. She had mentioned that she would work on lyrics when she came over to Nozomi’s apartment.    
  
“I can’t think of any good lyrics.” Eli huffed, folding her arms on the table. She slouched down, resting her chin upon them. “Also what’s been going on with you, Honoka and Maki?! She usually comes to me when she has a problem. When did you become her favourite?!”   
  
Nozomi chuckled under her breath. “Someone sounds jealous…”   
  
Eli rolled her eyes. She was but she wasn’t going to admit that. “Is there something wrong with her? If there is, I want to know.”   
  
“Well...yes.” Nozomi answered awkwardly. She watched as Eli bolted upright, her eyes wide. “Elichi, she doesn’t want you to know. She doesn’t want anyone to know. She…”   
  
“TELL ME!”   
  
Nozomi bit her lip to hold back a smile.    
  
“It’s not fair, seriously! Why do you get to know and I don’t? I’m worried about her!” Eli exclaimed desperately. Anyone who knew Honoka could tell there was something wrong with her but she felt especially qualified to make that assumption.    
  
“You sound like her girlfriend.” Nozomi said in amusement, causing Eli to blush. She reached over, patting Eli’s shoulders. “Don’t worry, all of us are a little in love with our leader.”   
  
Eli glared at her. “Are you going to tell me or not?” When Nozomi shook her head, she heaved a sigh. “Is she in some kind of trouble?”   
  
“Um…” Nozomi thought about that for a moment. She didn’t want to worry Eli but she could never lie to her either. “Yes.”   
  
“Serious trouble?”   
  
Nozomi sighed. “It’s spiritual. The spirits are messing with her. You could saying...causing a rift between her spirit and body.”   
  
Eli stared at Nozomi for a moment before she threw up her arms in exasperation. “Are you kidding me right now, Nozomi?!” She exclaimed, at a loss. “I’m being serious. There’s something bothering her. Is it about me? It must be, right? I mean I tried to hug her a couple of days ago because she looked upset and she flinched. FLINCHED. From me!” Eli pointed to her chest, her eyes wide.   
  
Nozomi had to bite the inside of her cheek to hold back a laugh. She hated worrying Eli but it was unusual to see her calm and collected composure so utterly shattered. “I’ll tell her to let you hug her.”   
  
“I don’t want you to have to tell her, I want her to want me to hug her. Like she used to.” Eli’s shoulders slumped in resignation. “It doesn’t feel right, it’s like she’s...not our Honoka.”   
  
Nozomi frowned. She wished she could tell Eli what was going on but she couldn’t.  It would cause too much trouble and Chika wouldn’t be happy with her either. She got up and went to Eli, leaning down to embrace her from behind. “Just be patient. It won’t be like this forever.”   
  
Eli let out a forlorn sigh as she leaned back into Nozomi. “It really annoys me that she’s been so...clingy with Maki lately. I mean what does Maki have that I don’t have?”   
  
Nozomi rolled her eyes. It was obvious that Eli had feelings for Honoka but she didn’t want to say anything. Usually with Eli it was best to let her come to some realizations on her own. As if on cue, Eli spoke once more.    
  
“Do you think it’s possible to like two people at the same time?” She tilted her head up slightly against Nozomi’s shoulders to meet her gaze.    
  
“Eh?”   
  
“I mean I like Honoka. And I like...someone else too. I just don’t want to tell the other person because...well I have feelings for Honoka.” Eli said nervously. “So do you think it’s possible?”   
  
Nozomi was silent for a moment, trying to take the news in. She didn’t want to get her hopes up too much. “Is it Maki-chan?”   
  
“No!” Eli exclaimed quickly. “I mean Maki is attractive but no. Absolutely not.”   
  
Nozomi relaxed her grip on Eli then fully let go, taking the seat right next to her instead. “Are your feelings for this person the same as your feelings for Honoka-chan? Or are your feelings for Honoka-chan stronger?”   
  
Eli shook her head. “I’d say the same. I like them the same amount. It’s weird, right?”   
  
Nozomi shrugged her shoulders. “It doesn’t matter, it’s how you feel. I don’t want you to get hurt though and with Honoka…” She winced slightly at the thought of Honoka’s feelings for Chika. “She’s not exactly available. Emotionally.”   
  
The look of hurt and disappointment on Eli’s face had her quickly backtracking. “I-I’m not saying you don’t have a chance but I just want to prepare you, as your friend. She has feelings for someone too so I just want you to be careful. Something tells me that if she turned you down you’d end up more hurt than Maki-chan was...”   
  
Eli frowned but she couldn’t say she didn’t agree. “I know Honoka isn’t very good with this kind of thing so I’m willing to wait and let her figure out her feelings.”   
  
Nozomi sighed but gave a reluctant nod. “   
  
\---   
  
When Chika woke up she wasn’t surprised to find that she wasn’t in her own body. She was surprised to find that she wasn’t in a bed though.  Her eyes widened when she saw a face near hers. She scurried back. “Wha…? What happened?”   
  
She glanced around, noticing the members of Muse gathered around a television. “Huh…” She wiped her eyes, noticing Nozomi staring at her when she lowered her hand. 

  
“Honoka-chan, you fell asleep three minutes into the movie.” Kotori smiled, turning toward Honoka.    
  
“Huh?” Chika blearily looked between the others, her gaze finally falling on Umi. “What’s wrong, Umi-chan?”   
  
“She’s just embarrassed because we were watching a romance movie.” Eli answered with a shrug of her shoulders. She looked to Umi, raising an eyebrow. “You really are afraid of romance, huh? It was just going to be a kiss…”   
  
“It was SHAMELESS!” Umi exclaimed, her face bright red. “You can’t force me to watch that stuff!”   
  
“U-Umi-chan, calm down…” Kotori said, getting to her feet.    
  
“You shouldn’t make Umi-chan watch things she’s not comfortable with.” Chika spoke disapprovingly, drawing everyone’s attention to her. Many of them looked surprised. Even Umi.    
  
Hanayo shifted uncomfortable. “Honoka-chan it was just a movie, we…”   
  
“I don’t care.” Chika huffed in annoyance. “Umi-chan is upset, that’s all that matters.”   
  
“Honoka, you agreed to this.” Eli reminded her, confused by the sudden change in attitude. “We needed inspiration to write a love song, remember? Do you even remember why we started watching this?”   
  
Kotori frowned at Honoka in concern. She didn’t know what was wrong with her but she was acting oddly out of character. They usually teased Umi about this kind of thing together but Honoka looked almost angry. “Honoka-chan?”   
  
Umi inched closer to Honoka. She liked how understanding Honoka suddenly seemed but her behavior was confusing. “Hey, calm down. It’s nothing serious, you know how I can be.”   
  
Chika gave a soft sigh in response.    
  
Nico rolled her eyes. “Great. Well as much as I love drama can we focus? We need to put up a good song for Love Live.”   
  
Chika got up and silently left the room, deciding she needed a moment to collect herself.    
  
Her departure didn’t go unnoticed. Nico threw her hands up in exasperation and Umi hurriedly moved to follow her.    
  
“Umi-chan!” Nozomi exclaimed, causing Umi to draw to a stop. “Let me. Please. She’s just...having some issues. I’ve got this.” Her gaze shifted to Eli who was watching her with a hint of jealousy. She quickly left the room. Honoka wasn’t in sight so she made her way down the hallway to the bathroom. The door was slightly ajar so she tentatively pushed it further open. She was relieved when she found the girl she was looking for. “Chika.”   
  
Chika, who’d been sitting on the edge of the tub looked up. “How did you know?”   
  
Nozomi gave a soft laugh. “Honoka-chan wouldn’t snap at Kotori-chan. Is something on your mind?”   
  
Chika shrugged. “I don’t like seeing Umi-chan upset? And I didn’t have time to collect myself before I had to talk to Muse. Usually I have some time. And...I think one of my best friends is hiding something from me. Riko-chan, she’s...well we haven’t known each other for long but we’re close. I like to think so anyway. She’s the one I told you about, the one Maki-chan reminds me of…”   
  
“Right, the one who’s like Maki-chan and Umi-chan. I remember.” Nozomi said with a thoughtful nod. “So you’re expressing how you feel for her by protecting Umi-chan from the others? Because she reminds you of your friend. But you really just want to know what’s wrong with Riko-chan.”   
  
“I guess.” Chika mumbled with a shrug of her shoulders.    
  
“I guess I might have to tell you the same thing I told Elichi about Honoka-chan…” Nozomi said with a roll of her eyes.    
  
“Eh?”   
  
“Nothing, nothing.” Nozomi said, quickly waving Chika off. “Listen, Chika-chan...was the reason you pursued Maki-chan because you wanted to pursue Riko but you thought she might reject you if you confessed to her?”   
  
"W-Why are you asking me all this?!” Chika asked, clearly flustered. “Ah, this is just like when Dia-san was asking me too many questions...oh, I'm SUPPOSED TO BE TRAINING! We went to the beach for that reason. I'm never going to be a good leader if I keep skipping training all of the time.” She cursed under her breath. “I want this stupid thing to end already!”   
  
"Don't upset the spirits, Chika.” Nozomi warned carefully.   
  
"Why not?!” Chika exclaimed in frustration.”It’s their fault I'm in the body of someone from the past! Why is it so important for me to be here and not with MY friends?! With MY idol group! I'm meant to be there supporting everyone. Supporting Riko-chan! Argh, I HATE THIS!”   
  
Nozomi was about to say something when someone knocked at the door. She turned just as it opened and Eli popped her head around the door. “Um...I was just leaving if you want to walk with me, Nozomi.” Her gaze shifted to Honoka, briefly catching the upset look on her face before the girl turned away from her. “Honoka, are you…?”   
  
“I’m fine, thanks to Nozomi-chan.” Chika answered without looking back toward Eli. “I’ll be fine.”   
  
Nozomi winced at the hurt that flashed across Eli’s face. She wanted to tell her it wasn’t really Honoka pushing her away. She couldn’t though. “Let’s go, Elichi…”   
  
Chika followed Nozomi out of the bathroom and watched as she and Eli began to walk away. She noticed movement out of the corner of her eye and looked over to see Maki standing there.    
  
“You’re acting weird. But not as weird as Nozomi.” Maki said thoughtfully as she stared after Nozomi. “Something isn’t right, I’m suspicious…”   
  
Chika raised an eyebrow. “What do you want me to do?”   
  
“Follow her with me.”    
  
“Seriously?” Chika asked skeptically. She sighed when Maki nodded in response. “F-Fine. For Maki-chan.”   
  
“G-Geez, it’s not for me, idiot. It’s for Nozomi.” Maki said, blushing profusely. “She’s the one who came up with this love song idea.”   
  
Chika’s eyes widened in surprise as she looked after Nozomi.    
  
“She wants us all to contribute with the lyrics.” Maki continued thoughtfully. “Do you remember that? You seemed to forget earlier…”   
  
“Yes, I remember. Sorry, I must have forgotten.” Chika eagerly grabbed Maki’s hand. “Come on, let’s do some detective work, Maki-chan!”   
  
\---   
  
Honoka stirred to the feeling of her cheek pressed against something soft. She hummed in satisfaction, recognizing what she was resting on was someone’s thigh.    
  
“Hey, you’re awake.”   
  
Honoka hummed in response, her hand shifting up to rest lightly near her face. “Let me sleep some more, Senpai…”   
  
“Senpai?”   
  
The incredulous tone caused Honoka’s eyes to fly open and she sat up, looking to the person she’d been sleeping on. “K-Kanan-chan, I thought...I’m sorry, I thought you were someone else!”   
  
“Someone else you’d be sleeping on?” Kanan asked, raising an eyebrow. “Does Chika like someone?”   
  
“No, no. It’s just…” Honoka was sidetracked suddenly by the realization that Kanan was wearing a bikini. Her gaze shifted down, over the girl’s ample breasts and down her toned abdomen to the thigh she’d been sleeping on a moment ago. “Uh…”   
  
“Chika.  _ Chika _ !”    
  
Fingers snapped in front of her face and Honoka looked up quickly. “Huh?”   
  
Kanan raised an eyebrow. “Were you just checking me out?”   
  
“NO!” Honoka lied hurriedly. She gave a nervous laugh. “No, of course not. I mean you’re...pretty but you’re not my type. My type is...um...like Riko-chan! Yeah, she’s…” She trailed off, nodding resolutely.   
  
“Riko?” Kanan echoed slowly. “Well I’m sure she would be happy to hear that.”   
  
“Huh? Why?”    
  
“Nothing, just...are you sure You isn’t your type?” Kanan asked curiously.    
  
“Huh?”   
  
Kanan heaved a sigh. “You’re so dense, Chika.” She lightly flicked her friend in the forehead, earning herself a pout.   
  
“I don’t understand.” Honoka mumbled, lightly rubbing her forehead.    
  
“Just look at Riko and You.” Kanan pointed over Chika’s shoulder. “And then tell me who your type is.”   
  
“Alright…” Honoka turned so that she was facing Riko and You. They were talking nearby, each of them subtly glancing over at her, like they were worried. She looked them both over, focusing on You for a moment. She had to admit, the girl’s abs were something else. “You-chan is...fit. And pretty. But Riko-chan is  _ really _ pretty. So I guess Riko-chan is my type.”   
  
“Okay.” Kanan mused thoughtfully. “So you don’t like You-chan?”   
  
“I love You-chan, just not as more than a friend.” Honoka said with a shrug. “Riko-chan is...really pretty though.”   
  
“Yeah, you said that already.” Kanan said with a roll of her eyes. She was saved from having to say anything else by Mari popping up behind her, her hands going directly to her chest.    
  
Kanan growled irritably. “Mari, I’ll sue you.”   
  
“You know I can’t help but want to hold these babies, Kanan!” Mari exclaimed gleefully. “So SEXY!”   
  
“Mari, I will sue you!”   
  
Honoka glared at Mari, irritated by the blonde’s behavior. Mari’s eyes met hers. She looked shocked at Honoka’s expression.    
  
“Chikachi…”   
  
“I’m fine, I’m fine.” Honoka quickly stood up. “I’m going to talk to Riko-chan and You-chan.” She quickly hurried away without waiting for an answer, silently cursing Chika as she went. “What has she done to me…?”   
\---   
  
Chika followed the others outside and looked around, marvelling at the snow falling around them. She never got the chance to see snow, given that she lived somewhere so warm. She reached up, allowing the snowflakes to fall into her hands.   
  
“You look like you’ve never seen snow before.” Eli said, stepping closer to Honoka. She frowned as the girl seemed to flinch in surprise. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you.”   
  
“It’s fine.” Chika said softly, glancing down at the ground. She couldn’t help but think that it should be Honoka sharing this moment with her friends, not her. It should have been Honoka finding things out about Nozomi. Now she was going to have to hear it from her.    
  
“Are you okay? You seemed upset earlier. The um...thing with Umi.” Eli placed a hand hesitantly on Honoka’s shoulder only for her to draw away from her. “Honoka, is something wrong? Are you mad at me about something?”   
  
“No, um...look, we better go with everyone else.” Chika said awkwardly. “It’s fine, I promise.”   
  
Eli sighed as she watched Honoka walk away from her. Her shoulders slumped, she silently followed.    
  
Nozomi groaned as she watched the two of them. She really didn’t understand it. Chika was fine with everyone else, Eli was the only person she was cold toward. She made her way over to them, grabbing Chika’s hand. “I need to talk to you.”   
  
Chika let Nozomi drag her away though she could feel the eyes of the rest of Muse on her. They came to a stop near the entrance to Nozomi’s apartment block. “What is it?”   
  
“You need to be warmer toward Elichi.” Nozomi warned, crossing her arms in front of her chest. “Her and Honoka are pretty close.” She watched as Chika sighed. “And I’m pretty close to her too. So if you have some kind of problem with her, I want to know about it.”   
  
Chika was surprised by the anger that laced Nozomi’s tone. “I don’t have a problem…” She muttered.    
  
“You won’t let her touch you! You run away from her whenever she gets close and...you can barely even look at her, Chika-chan!” Nozomi exclaimed, at a loss. “She’s noticing that something is wrong.”   
  
“Exactly! She’s noticing because she’s too observant, like you!” Chika answered, motioning toward Nozomi. “And she knows Honoka too well on top of that. I can hide this from Umi-chan and Kotori-chan because I have friends like them but Eli-chan is different!”   
  
“Eli-senpai.” Nozomi reminded her.    
  
“See?!” Chika hissed, glancing over at Eli who was trying to look like she wasn’t watching them. “How am I meant to see her as my senpai when she doesn’t treat me like she is? She treats me like her...I don’t know!”   
  
“Friend?” Nozomi asked knowingly. “Chika-chan, please. Please just warm up to her. You don’t know how much it hurts her for Honoka to treat her like you’re treating her now!”   
  
“Okay, I’ll try…”   
  
“What the hell are you two talking about?”   
  
“Nicocchi!” Nozomi turned around, smiling brightly. “Nothing at all.”   
  
“You two have been acting so weird lately.” Nico said, looking between them with a hint of suspicion. “Are you dating or something?”   
  
“No!” Nozomi and Chika exclaimed in unison.    
  
“Definitely not.” Nozomi said, quickly shaking her head. “That’s ridiculous.”   
  
“As if you’d say no if she asked…” Nico said with a roll of her eyes.    
  
“Huh?” Chika turned to Nozomi, raising an eyebrow.    
  
“Ignore her, Nicocchi likes to stretch the truth.” Nozomi smirked, much to Nico’s outrage. “Relax, I’m just teasing.”   
  
“Honoka-chan!” Kotori called, causing Chika to look up. Honoka’s best friend waved her over, Maki standing at one side and Umi at the other. Eli was behind her, staring down at the ground with her hands in her pockets.    
  
Chika took a deep breath before she made her way over to them. She passed Umi though, stopping next to Eli. “I’m sorry.” She mumbled.    
  
Eli glanced at the second year in surprise. “What?”   
  
“I have things on my mind. But that’s no excuse.” Chika answered, pointedly avoiding eye contact. “I’m sorry I’ve been kind of rude to you lately, I know you’re just worried.”   
  
“Yeah, I am.” Eli said softly, her eyes downcast again.    
  
Chika stepped forward and tentatively wrapped her arms around Eli. She felt the blonde inhale sharply before she hugged her back. “Ah, Eli-senpai. Too tight.”    
  
“Sorry.” Eli loosened her grip but it took her a moment to let go completely. “Here, you’re not wearing a coat. That’s...what I was going to say earlier.” She took off her own coat and handed it over to Honoka.    
  
“Thank you.” Chika took the coat and slipped it on, shivering slightly. “Let’s go back inside before you catch a cold. And let’s get these lyrics written!”   
\---   
  
“Are you nervous?” Honoka asked Eli apprehensively as she looked herself over in the mirror. The others had gone on ahead already , leaving the two of them alone while Honoka finished getting changed.    
  
Eli shook her head in response. “No, I’m fine. Are you? You have nothing to be worried about, you know.”   
  
“I’m just worried I might be out of practice.” Honoka admitted, staring at herself in the mirror. Her view was suddenly obstructed as Eli stepped into her way.   
  
“You’ll do fine.” Eli said confidently, gently rubbing Honoka’s shoulder.    
  
Honoka smiled softly, a blush coloring her cheeks. She’d been feeling especially reassured by Eli’s presence since she’d thrown herself into the blonde’s arms earlier.    
  
Eli was pleasantly surprised when Honoka leaned into her slightly. “Hey...look at me.” She waited for Honoka’s eyes to meet her own before she leaned in and gently pressed their foreheads together. “You’ll be fine. You’ll knock them dead and if you get scared just look at me, okay?”   
  
“Okay.” Honoka whispered, reaching up to grasp Eli’s hand where it rested on her shoulder.    
  
Eli felt her breath catch as Honoka looked up at her, innocent blue eyes meeting her own. She couldn’t resist the urge to lean down, pressing her lips gently to Honoka’s. She felt the hand around her wrist tighten it’s hold but then Honoka was hesitantly kissing her back. She leaned into Honoka a bit more, her hand going to the back of the second year’s head to hold her close as she kissed her.    
  
Slowly, their lips parted and Eli opened her eyes to meet Honoka’s again. “Honoka, I’m um…” She was planning to apologize but she cut herself off. “I really like you.”   
  
Honoka swallowed thickly. She didn’t know what all of this meant, the only thing she knew was that kissing Eli felt good. “I-I don’t think I’m ready to be in a relationship with anyone. But...maybe if you want we can kiss sometimes? Kissing Eli-senpai is nice…”   
  
“Yeah?” Eli grinned and kissed Honoka once more before she gently pressed their foreheads together. “I would like that.”   
  
The two of them stood there for a long moment, neither of them noticing the door across the room open.    
  
Umi paused in the doorway, feeling as though the floor had disappeared from under her as she noticed their position. Eli’s hand was at the back of Honoka’s head, fingers lightly tangled in her hair to hold her close but it didn’t look like it was forced. In fact Honoka looked nothing short of peaceful. A lump formed in her throat and she had to swallow quickly against it. She spoke even as tears threatened. “Um...we’re waiting for you out there so if you could hurry…” As Honoka looked over, meeting her eyes, Umi felt her resolve threaten to crumble and quickly left the room.    
  
Eli blushed and reached down, silently taking Honoka’s hand. “Should we go?”   
  
Honoka nodded with a small smile and let Eli lead her out of the room. 


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the comments etc guys! I hope you like this chapter. 
> 
> M rated for sexual scenes.

Honoka closed her eyes, basking in the soothing sensation of Eli’s fingers drifting through her hair. She’d left it completely down after her shower, something Eli had seemed somewhat concerned over for some reason. She’d calmed after a while though, under Honoka’s gentle reassurances.    
  
Honoka was slightly worried that her hair might still be wet. Her head was in Eli’s lap as they lay on the bed together, Eli propped up against the pillows behind her. She couldn’t bring herself to say anything though. She let out a soft groan of satisfaction as Eli’s nails scraped lightly over her scalp. “That’s nice…” She mumbled tiredly.    
  
“You were amazing two days ago…” Eli murmured, equally relaxed. She’d been spending more time with Honoka over the past couple of days and she felt like things were getting back to normal.   
  
Honoka’s lips turned up. “We all did well.”   
  
“Yeah, well your solo gave me chills.” Eli countered fondly.    


Honoka opened her eyes and looked up, catching sight of full lips above her. She quickly looked away, blushing. With Maki, kissing her had been nice but awkward. It was like she was acting on Chika’s feelings rather than her own but with Eli she actually wanted to kiss her. “U-Umi-chan said that too. She said she could really feel the message I was giving. Well I guess we all did write it so…”  
  
“You looked at me a couple of times, even during your solo.” Eli remarked softly, recalling Honoka’s eyes meeting her own.   
  
“Well you said I could and senpai looked pretty in her outfit.” Honoka said sheepishly.   
  
“You think I’m pretty?” Eli smirked, catching Honoka a bit off guard.   
  
“Well I’m not blind…” Honoka said, slightly baffled. “You’re the prettiest girl in Muse. Alongside Umi-chan. Why else would I want to kiss you?”   
  
Eli gave a soft laugh in response. “That’s a good point, I guess.”   
  
“C-Can I kiss you now?” Honoka asked nervously. They’d only kissed once more since that day before performing Snow Halation. “Please, Eli-senpai?”   
  
“How could I say no to you?” Eli murmured, giving a slight nod of her head. “Come here.”   
  
Honoka brightened at being given permission and sat up, turning toward Eli. She took a deep breath before she slowly leaned in, bracing herself with her hands on Eli’s shoulders. Mustering up all the courage she had, she pressed her lips to Eli’s, noticing the blonde’s eyes flutter shut just before she did so. She closed her own eyes, feeling Eli kiss her back, a hand moving to the small of her back. It was simple and fairly chaste but it sent shudders down her spine, her lips tingling. She wondered if this was what people meant by fireworks when they described kissing.   
  
“I wish you could have been my first kiss.” She whispered against Eli’s lips, her hand sliding to the back of the third year’s neck.   
  
Eli’s heart skipped a beat at the sentiment. “You were mine.” She answered before she kissed Honoka again, drawing her closer to her.   
  
“Mmm wait…” Honoka turned her head, drawing away from the kiss. “I wanna be another first. I want you to be my first something.”   
  
“Hmm?” Eli mumbled, trailing her lips to Honoka’s neck. “First date?”   
  
“Maki-chan already…” Honoka gasped as Eli nipped at her neck. “Ouch, Eli-senpai…”   
  
“Sorry, I’ll make it better…” Eli grasped Honoka’s hips and guided her onto her lap, her mouth never leaving her neck. She sucked firmly at the soft skin there, earning a soft whimper from Honoka. “First..girlfriend?”   
  
“E-Eli-senpai, you know I can’t.” Honoka said, tensing slightly.   
  
“You can’t blame a girl for trying.” Eli muttered, nipping gently at Honoka’s neck again. “There. First hickey. First make out too...is there any other firsts you want me to fulfill?”   
  
Honoka lightly swatted Eli’s arm. “No, no, no. I’m not ready for…” She trailed off, hearing Eli try to suppress a laugh. “Stop teasing me!”   
  
“You’re so cute when you’re flustered though…” Eli pressed an innocent kiss to Honoka’s cheek. “First movie date?” She chuckled when Honoka rolled her eyes. “First bath together?”   
  
“What?! No!” Honoka exclaimed quickly, her face turning red at the thought. “I can’t let you see me _naked_ , it’s...it’s too soon.”   
  
Eli’s brow furrowed in confusion. “We’ve taken baths before, in…”   
  
“With the OTHERS!” Honoka interrupted, certain her face was on fire at that point. “A-And steam! There’s steam.”   
  
“I could make it pretty steamy.” Eli said flirtatiously though she tried to be serious when Honoka pouted at her. “Okay, I’m sorry. But there’s no need to feel embarrassed. I wouldn’t be embarrassed with you.”   
  
“Because you look like THAT!” Honoka gestured toward Eli. “What do you have to be embarrassed about?”   
  
“Okay, okay. I’m sorry.” Eli wrapped her arms around Honoka and drew her closer. “But for the record you don’t have anything to be embarrassed about either. I see you as the sexiest in the group, even though you’re so innocent…”   
  
“Eli-senpai…” Honoka groaned and buried her face in Eli’s shoulder. “Stop teasing.”

 

“I’m not teasing, I’m serious. I really think you’re beautiful, Honoka.” Eli answered with a slight shake of her head. “I can barely take my eyes off you sometimes.”  
  
Honoka blushed in response, her heart fluttering in her chest. “What else? Do you like about me…”   
  
Eli thought about that for a moment. “You’re...impulsive, dense, headstrong, stubborn...really stubborn. You’re inspiring, warm, kind, cute when you’re flustered and you’re someone who’s very dear to me.”   
  
Honoka bit her lip. She couldn’t deny that she liked that. She liked it a lot. “So you think I’m more than just...physically attractive?”   
  
“You’re both.” Eli drew Honoka close to her and lightly nuzzled her neck.   
  
Honoka sighed at the feeling of Eli’s lips brushing against her neck. She really could get used to kissing. “C-Can we kiss again?”   
  
Eli smiled softly and drew back a bit. “You’re insatiable, you know that?”   
  
Honoka pouted. “I just like kissing you…”   
  
“Sure. But you don’t have to ask me.” Eli said quietly, intently meeting Honoka’s eyes. “Just take what you want.”   
  
Honoka took a deep breath before she cupped Eli’s face in her hands and leaned in. She kissed her deeply, her tongue quickly slipping past willingly parted lips as she pressed closer to the girl beneath her. She supposed she had Chika to blame for this. If it weren’t for Chika she wouldn’t have started noticing any kind of attraction to her friends. She could have just innocently carried on but here she was unable to get enough of kissing the blonde. Every brush of Eli’s lips against her own, every gentle caress of her tongue and firm pressure of her hands felt explosive and Honoka found that she never wanted to stop.   
  
She tore her lips from Eli’s and acting purely out of instinct, kissed her way down to the girl’s neck. Eli’s skin was soft and warm under her lips. As she sucked gently over Eli’s pulsepoint her heart raced at the wanton moan that escaped the blonde. Wanting to hear more, she nipped at the blonde’s ear and slid her hand under her shirt, her fingers brushing against the soft skin of Eli’s stomach and sides.   
  
“H-Honoka, what are you…?”   
  
“You said to take what I want.” Honoka answered quietly. Just because she didn’t want Eli to touch her didn’t mean she didn’t want to do the same. She slowed down with her touches though, drawing back to place a light kiss to Eli’s lips. She kissed her repeatedly, just swift, light kisses until Eli giggled softly and her hand went to the back of Honoka’s head to hold her there. The next kiss lingered innocently for a moment until Eli allowed Honoka to pull away.   
  
“Will you go out with me?” Eli asked hopefully, brushing Honoka’s hair back from her face. “Like on a date? Maybe to a movie and I can buy you dinner after.”   
  
“Not a romance.” Honoka warned, moving off of Eli’s lap. She lay back down, resting her head in the other girl’s lap again.   
  
“A romcom?” Eli asked, raising an eyebrow.   
  
“That’s better. I hate drama.” Honoka mumbled, closing her eyes.   
  
Eli lightly brushed her hand over Honoka’s head. “Sleepy?”   
  
“Mmmhm.” Honoka hummed before her eyes flew open. “I-I mean no! I’m not...tired.”   
  
Eli smiled as she watched Honoka struggling not to yawn. “Your uniform’s here so maybe if you call your parents you…”   
  
“No!” Honoka sat bolt upright, startling Eli. “I-I can’t stay over. It’s...a school night, you know?” She laughed nervously and slid off the bed. “I can’t ever sleep over if this keeps happening…”   
  
It was obvious that Honoka was muttering to herself rather than her but Eli tilted her head in confusion. “What do you mean?”   
  
“Nothing, I’m just...nothing.” Honoka desperately wanted to agree to staying over. She bit her lip as she looked to the bed. Spending the night with Eli, the blonde pressed close to her back with her arm around her waist was more than tempting.   
  
Eli misunderstood the look. “Is it because it’s me?”   
  
“No, of course not!” Honoka exclaimed quickly. “Would you believe it’s just me? I want to tell you but it’s complicated. And you wouldn’t believe me anyway.”   
  
“Yes, I would.” Eli said confidently. She moved to her knees and crawled to the edge of the bed, grasping Honoka’s hands. “Is it about our...whatever this is we’re doing? Because if you’re worried I’m going to pressure you this is all new to me too. I told you, you were my first kiss. You have even more experience than me.”   
  
Honoka shook her head. “It’s complicated.”   
  
Eli’s shoulders slumped in defeat. “Is it something...spiritual? That’s what Nozomi said when I asked.”   
  
Honoka gritted her teeth. She was going to kill Nozomi. It was bad enough that she’d had to tell her the truth and now Eli might figure it out. “Eli-senpai…” She trailed off as Eli looked at her with worry. “I really like you.”   
  
Eli visibly brightened at the comment and Honoka winced slightly as she continued. “But I don’t know how I’ll...feel tomorrow. I’m too unpredictable right now.”   
  
“I don’t understand.” Eli said honestly. She leaned down, pressing her lips to Honoka’s left hand. “I want you to stay but if you can’t it’s okay. If you go home maybe you could call me and we can stay on the phone until we fall asleep, hmm?”   
  
Honoka nodded and kissed Eli once more before she stepped away from her. “We’ll still go on our date. I’ll remind myself.” She picked up her bag from the floor and walked to the door. She looked over her shoulder, finding Eli looking at her with a sad smile. “Goodnight, Eli-senpai.”   
  
“Goodnight.” Eli echoed as Honoka opened the door and left. She sighed and lay down on her back. She wished she knew what was going on. Maybe if she did she could help.   
  
\---   
  
“Again?” Chika groaned as she once more woke up in a bed that wasn’t her own. It seemed like it was only two days ago when it had last happened. She stretched across the bed, grabbing Honoka’s cellphone to check the time. “Wait...Saturday?! I thought this only happened on weekdays. Damn it, I had plans with Riko-chan and You-chan!”   
  
She buried her face back in her pillow for a few minutes, refusing to get up but quickly realized that she would have to. She pushed herself into a sitting position and noticing a note on the bedside table, picked it up to read it. “Movie date with Eli. Oh come on, she got pissed at me when I did this. Oh god it’s going to be like dating Kanan-chan and she’s like a third sister…so that’s her type, huh? I guess it makes sense…”   
  
She sighed listlessly and rolled her eyes. She had to do this even if she didn’t want to. For Honoka. She was sure that the girl would have ended up liking Umi or Maki but maybe she had always liked Eli. “I wonder how Nozomi-chan feels about this…” She mused to herself as she slipped off the bed to change for the day. “Okay, what should I wear? Something warm because it’s still snowing. But still something cute, I guess.”   
  
She went about getting dressed, trying to talk herself into giving the date a chance. It wasn’t as though she had a choice but it should have been Honoka there, not her. She automatically went for a pair of shorts but stopped herself before she had a chance to grab them. She was going on a date, she couldn’t be that casual. Sighing to herself, she continued to look through the wardrobe, trying to find something more formal to wear. She wished she was in her own body. If she was she could have just had a casual day out with Riko and You.   
  
\---   
  
“So you really asked her.” Nozomi said as she perched on the end of Eli’s bed, watching her frantically digging through her closet for something to wear. “Does this mean the two of you are…?”   
  
“It’s complicated.” Eli answered with a shrug of her shoulders. “She doesn’t want to make it official right now so we’re just...going on dates and stuff.”   
  
Nozomi nodded in understanding. It made sense that Honoka didn’t want to commit to anything. “So you’re taking steps with her.”   
  
“Yes.” Eli answered resolutely. “Honoka need some time and I’m willing to be patient with her. She seems to be going through a lot at the minute.”   
  
“Yeah, I bet.” Nozomi mumbled as she continued to watch Eli search for something to wear. Her phone vibrated next to her and she picked it up, noticing a text from Honoka. On closer inspection though, she found it was actually from Chika. She sighed to herself. It was going to be a busy day. She winced as she read through Chika’s questions. What does Eli like, should she wear something cute, even a request for her to spy on them to make sure Chika didn’t say something that wasn’t like Honoka.   
  
“Elichi…” Nozomi looked up from her phone. “I think I read that it’s going to rain today. Maybe it would be a good idea to postpone your date until tomorrow.”   
  
“No, it’s fine. I’ll take a jacket if I need to.” Eli paused for a moment and Nozomi hoped she was thinking about her suggestion. “It would be nice to kiss Honoka in the rain, like in the movies…”   
  
Nozomi groaned at the answer and quickly sent a text back to Chika, warning her that Eli and Honoka had been kissing a lot recently so she shouldn’t freak out if Eli kisses her.   
  
It wasn’t more than a few seconds before she received a text back.   
  
‘No kissing’, it read, ‘I’ll go on the date but no kissing. It’ll be like kissing my sister!’   
  
“Elichi, I’ll be right back.” Nozomi said with a small smile as she got to her feet. “I just have to call...Umi-chan.” She didn’t wait for Eli’s inevitable expression of confusion before she hurried from the room, calling ‘Honoka’ on the way.   
  
“He-”   
  
“Chika-chan, I’m not kidding. If you screw this up, if you break her heart, I will stop helping you.” Nozomi warned, her voice firm but quiet in case Eli overheard. “You can’t act out of character on this date. Elichi kept telling me how cute it is that Honoka keeps asking if she can kiss her again. She _wants_ to kiss Elichi.”   
  
“I’m not doing that.” Chika said firmly. “I don’t make her kiss _my_ friends! And...don’t you think it’s a little weird that you’re trying to pressure me into this?”   
  
“You kissed Maki-chan.”   
  
“Maki-chan is really cute though…” Chika mused to herself. “And I wanted to kiss her! This is completely different.”   
  
“How am I pressuring you if this is what Honoka wants? It’s her body.” Nozomi pointed out, leaning against the wall. “Chika-chan, you can’t be selfish. You said you want to help Honoka-chan.”   
  
“I’m _trying_ , Nozomi-chan!” Chika exclaimed, clearly exasperated. “But you don’t understand. I can’t kiss Eli-chan because I don’t LIKE her!”   
  
“CHIKA-CHAN!”   
  
“I-I don’t mean like that. I mean romantically. She reminds me of Kanan-chan a bit and I’ve known Kanan-chan since I was really young!”   
  
Nozomi was about to respond but she was interrupted by Eli opening the door to her bedroom.   
  
“Is everything okay?” Eli asked in concern. “I heard you yelling. Who’s Chika?”   
  
“Ah, nobody! Don’t worry about it, Elichi. I’ll be right there.” Nozomi forced a bright smile but she was sure Eli didn’t believe it for a second. Nevertheless, the blonde went back to her room. “Chika-chan, please! Do it for me. I don’t want to see Elichi get hurt. She’s...like my version of your Riko-chan. You wouldn’t want to see her hurt, would you?”   
  
Chika was silent for a moment before she sighed. “Fine! But I’m not letting her use tongue and I’m definitely not going to her house after.”   
  
“Please just try to make it seem like you like her.” Nozomi muttered, rubbing her temples. “I know this is awkward for you but Elichi really likes Honoka. Do you know how she would feel if Honoka-chan acted cold to her on their date?”   
  
“I get it, Nozomi-chan.” Chika said quietly, defeat audible in her tone. “I’ll talk to you later.”   
  
Nozomi was about to say something else but Chika hung up before she could.   
  
Eli looked up as Nozomi entered the room again. There was a smile on her best friend’s face but she looked sad too. “What’s wrong? You look upset.”   
  
“Nothing at all. Just thinking about what you should wear.” Nozomi said, forcing a bright tone to her voice. “Come on, I know the perfect dress.”   
  
Eli looked at Nozomi in disbelief. “Nozomi…”   
  
“It’s fine, Elichi!” Nozomi walked over to Eli and placed her hands on her arms. “It’s just...remember I told you about Honoka-chan having a problem? It’s one of those days. So don’t be so forceful or overly eager, okay?”   
  
“I-I wasn’t going to…” Eli said quietly. “Maybe I shouldn’t kiss her again on the date then. But I don’t want her to see it as a friendship thing. But maybe if she’s not feeling up to it we could cancel.”   
  
“No, don’t cancel!” Nozomi said quickly. “This is your day with Honoka-chan. Don’t let it go to waste. It’ll be fine, trust me. Being around you can only help. You’re her ‘Eli-senpai’, remembe r?”   
  
Eli blushed at Nozomi’s teasing. “If you think it’ll help I’ll do whatever I can to take her mind off it.”   
  
Nozomi breathed a sigh of relief at Eli’s agreement. She knew that Honoka would be crushed to find out their date had to be called off when she got back.   
  
\---   
  
Honoka stared out at the rippling water as the boat glided effortlessly over it. Apparently Chika had had plans with You and Riko today which hadn’t even involved the boat. When You had noticed how angry and upset Chika seemed to be she had suggested that they all go out on the boat because the waves were calming.   
  
They weren’t especially working to calm her though. She was frustrated beyond belief. She should have been with Eli on their date but she was stuck in a body that wasn’t her own. Again.   
  
Lost in her own thoughts she didn’t notice any abnormal movement in the water until a familiar girl with blue hair emerged in front of her.   
  
“Chika?”   
  
Honoka jumped, yelping in surprise at the unexpected arrival.   
  
“Ahh, Kanan-chan!” You exclaimed, looking up from the wheel. She watched as Riko went to Chika’s side, laying a gentle, soothing hand on her shoulder.   
  
“I wasn’t expecting you guys to come near the shack.” Kanan said before she swam to the back of the boat and climbed aboard.   
  
Honoka watched, her mouth slightly agape as Kanan unzipped her wetsuit. Her eyes unwittingly travelled down, over the swell of the girl’s breasts. “Damn…”   
  
“Chika-chan, are you checking me out again?” Kanan asked, raising an expectant eyebrow.   
  
“N-No!” Honoka said hurriedly, her cheeks aflame with embarrassment at being caught. “Sorry, uh...I like your bikini.”   
  
“Thanks?”   
  
“Hehehe, boy it’s hot…” Honoka muttered, waving a hand in front of her face.   
  
“Chika-chan.” You said disapprovingly. It was bad enough that Chika flirted with Riko so openly when she was there but now she was doing the same with Kanan while both she and Riko were present.   
  
Honoka shrugged listlessly and went to sit back where she had been earlier, looking out at the water. She wasn’t sure what You was annoyed for but it reminded her of when Kotori was annoyed with her.   
  
A few minutes passed before someone sat down next to her. Honoka glanced over, finding it was Kanan, with a towel around her shoulders. “I’m not checking you out.”   
  
Kanan cracked a smile at that. “You told me you’re upset about something.”   
  
“Not really. Just woke up on the wrong side of the bed, I guess.” Honoka said with a shrug of her shoulders.   
  
“You put your hair into a side ponytail again.” Kanan remarked thoughtfully. She’d noticed Chika doing that a few times over the past weeks.   
  
“It was hot.”   
  
“That’s true.” Kanan mused with a sigh. “It sucks that it doesn’t get cold enough for snow around here…”   
  
Honoka nodded vaguely.   
  
“So do you want to tell me what’s bothering you?” Kanan asked, well aware it wasn’t something as simple as what Chika had said. “Maybe I can help.”   
  
“It’s nothing. Just personal stuff.” Honoka said with a forced smile. It was hardly Kanan’s fault that she couldn’t do what she wanted to do. It wasn’t Riko’s or You’s either. It wasn’t even Chika’s.   
  
“Huh, so you don’t trust your childhood friend?” Kanan asked, only half serious. “I’m hurt, Chika. I thought you knew you could tell me anything.”   
  
“N-No, it’s not that I don’t trust you. It’s just that I don’t know how to explain. You wouldn’t even believe me if I told you…”   
  
“I’m sure that’s not true.” Kanan turned slightly so that she was facing Chika directly. “Try me. Come on, Chika.” She pinched Chika’s cheek, causing her to wince. “You can tell me.”   
  
“Kanan-chaaaan.” Honoka whined pitifully. There was no way she could tell her what was going on.   
  
“I’m kidding.” Kanan let go and gently caressed Chika’s cheek instead. She noticed her lean into it and her brow furrowed for a moment. “You really can’t tell me what’s wrong though?”   
  
“I can’t.” Honoka whispered in response. She wished she could. She needed to talk to someone else about what was happening. Someone other than Nozomi. Eli came to mind and her chest ached. She wished she could tell her.   
  
You growled under her breath and turned the boat a little harder than she should have, accidentally throwing everyone off balance. Riko fell to her knees while Kanan fell forward on top of Chika. “Ah, s-sorry!”   
  
Kanan quickly leaned up, having fallen face first into Chika’s chest. “Sorry, Chika.” her face was red with embarrassment but she couldn’t help but notice that Chika had grown. Mari would have had plenty of fun pointing that out. “Are you okay?”   
  
“Y-Yeah.” Honoka stuttered, her face flushed. It didn’t escape her notice that Kanan was still leaning over her, so close she could feel the girl’s breath on her face.   
  
Finally Kanan drew away and Honoka breathed a sigh of relief.   
  
“Uh...you okay?” Kanan asked awkwardly as she watched Chika sit back up.   
  
“Good.” Chika said with a slight nod of her head.   
  
“...Good.” Kanan said, getting to her feet. She glanced around, finding Riko was on her feet, rubbing her hip. “You okay, Riko?”   
  
“Fine.” Riko answered with a nod.   
  
Kanan looked back to Chika, noticing she was still in the same position. She took a deep breath. It had been a while since Chika had clung to her like she seemed to be doing now. Like when they were younger. She had been used to it back then. Even Dia had done it. Chika and Dia were such cry babies back then, she recalled fondly.   
  
She crouched down and reached over, ruffling Chika’s hair. It was nice to be needed in that way. “Hey calm down, it’s not like You is going to throw us overboard.” She chuckled.   
  
Honoka gave a nervous laugh in response. Kanan was alarmingly similar to Eli, the one person Honoka had wanted to spend her day with.   
  
“If you want to tell me about what’s bothering you, you know where to find me.” Kanan said softly, leaning close so You and Riko wouldn’t hear.   
  
“Ah yeah, thanks…” Honoka shuffled back, her face red with embarrassment.   
  
Kanan giggled at Chika’s odd behavior and winked at her before she stood up and turned, walking to You to see what she was having trouble with.   
  
Honoka’s eyes dipped to Kanan’s rear and she swallowed thickly. That was just as nice as Eli’s too.   
  
“Chika-chan.” Riko said disapprovingly, causing Honoka to look up quickly. “You really are checking Kanan-chan out…”   
  
“Sorry.” Honoka mumbled, glancing down at the deck beneath her. She didn’t know what was wrong with her. Ever since she’d started making out with Eli she couldn’t get the blonde out of her head. Not since the very first kiss in fact. Deciding it couldn’t make it any worse, she decided to explain. “It’s not Kanan-chan. She just looks like someone I like. You can’t tell anyone though. You’re the only person I’ve told.”   
  
Riko felt a confusing mix of surprised, disappointed and elated. Disappointed that Chika liked someone and elated that Chika seemed to trust her. “Do I know them?”   
  
“Ah, no. You don’t know them.” Honoka answered with a sheepish shake of her head. She felt bad for making a mess for Chika to clean up, in a way, but she supposed this was better than Riko thinking she liked Kanan. “She has a figure like Kanan-chan but she’s blonde. I haven’t seen her in a little while so uh…”   
  
Riko thought about that for a moment as she went to sit next to Chika. “So kind of like Ayase Eli?”   
  
“Well yeah, she does look like her.” Honoka answered awkwardly. “I hadn’t really thought about it like that before but I guess you’re right.”   
  
“So...are you dating her?” Riko asked carefully. “Or do you just like her?”   
  
“I just like her!” Honoka exclaimed quickly, figuring it best to deviate from the truth a bit. “Heh, it’s not like she’d look twice at me, right? I mean...” She winced at the way that sounded. She didn’t mean Chika, she meant herself. Her own body.   
  
Riko looked oddly affronted by the comment. “Why not? I think she’d be lucky to date someone like you.”   
  
“You’re sweet, Riko-chan…” Honoka said softly, her mind drifting as she looked back out at the water. She couldn’t help but wonder why Eli had kissed her to begin with. She made a mental note to ask the blonde when she got back.   
  
\---   
  
Chika hurried through the crowd of people milling around the busy street, intent on finding the blonde she was looking for. She was already ten minutes late for their date and she got the impression she wasn’t going to find Eli anytime soon.   
  
“Why couldn’t we have just switched tomorrow?” She muttered irritably to herself, narrowly avoiding bumping into a child in her path. “Of COURSE it had to be today. I had plans too, damn it.”   
  
She finally spotted Eli across the street and took off running toward her. Nozomi would be furious if she thought Chika had stood Eli up.   
  
Eli’s eyes met hers and the blonde brightened at the sight of her.   
  
“Hey, sorry I’m late!” Chika said, a bit breathless. She looked Eli up and down, noticing the girl’s hair was down. That was rare in itself, she thought. It must mean that the date was serious. “Um, you look…” She tried to imagine what she would say to Maki if she was in Eli’s position instead. “Pretty. Really pretty, I-I mean…”   
  
It hadn’t been much of a compliment but Eli seemed happy with it at least.   
  
“Thank you, Honoka.” Eli said softly, a smile tugging at her lips. “You look amazing.” She reached out, lightly touching Chika’s arm. “Should we go? We have a little while until the movie starts.”   
  
“Yeah, I…” Chika trailed off as her phone chimed with a text. “Oh, sorry. I’ll just be a minute.” She took the phone out of her pocket and found a text from Nozomi.   
  
_‘I’m watching you. Show some enthusiasm!’_ _  
_ _  
_ Chika swallowed thickly and glanced around but she didn’t see Nozomi anywhere. Quickly she responded that she was trying and put her phone away.   
  
“Are you alright?” Eli asked, noticing how nervous Honoka seemed. “I found a cute cafe nearby. It’s Italian. Do you want to go?”   
  
“Sure.” Chika answered with a slight nod. She began to follow Eli down the street, the feeling of someone’s eyes on her. Indeed a couple of seconds later she received another text from Nozomi.   
  
_‘Come on, at least hold her hand!’_ _  
_ _  
_ Chika sighed and grabbed Eli’s hand, feeling the blonde’s pace slow for a couple of seconds in surprise. She seemed to compose herself quickly, lightly tangling their fingers together as she adjusted her grip.   
  
Chika exhaled in relief as she followed Eli to a small cafe. She zoned out for a moment, thinking of You and Riko as Eli guided her to a table. Letting go of her hand, the blonde pulled out a chair for her and Chika blushed in embarrassment. She mumbled her thanks and sat down though as Eli sat down opposite her.   
  
She cursed under her breath as she received another text. She quickly checked it, not noticing Eli glance at her in confusion.   
  
_‘God you’re so awkward! TALK TO HER!’_ _  
_ _  
_ She was about to type out a reply when she received another message.   
  
_‘Eli likes chocolate. All of us in Muse know that so order her a chocolate cake or something. Honoka likes strawberry shortcake.’_ _  
_ _  
_ Chika bit her lip as she typed out her reply. ‘ _What do I even talk about?’_ _  
_ _  
_ She glanced up, finding Eli looking through the menu in her hands. She received another text less than twenty seconds later.   
  
_“Anything. Talk about our performance, her graduation that's coming, Muse. How did you get Maki if you’re this awkward?!”_ Nozomi replied. _“Pretend she’s Maki. Talk about music, or how the student council is going. You’re really bad at acting!’_ _  
_ _  
_ Chika groaned in response and put her phone on silent, placing it on the table.   
  
“Are you okay?” Eli asked, looking up in concern. She smiled nervously and nodded to Honoka’s phone. “Whoever you’re texting must be uh...interesting?”   
  
She cringed at how odd that sounded. She was sure her voice was tinged with jealousy too.   
  
“Oh, uh...U-Umi-chan!” Chika exclaimed without thinking. “I was just telling her h-how our date is going.”   
  
“You told her?” Eli asked in surprise. She smiled bashfully and looked down at the table. “I didn’t think you’d want to tell people.”   
  
Chika gave a nervous laugh. “W-Well I’m on a date with the prettiest girl in Muse, why wouldn’t I want people to know?”   
  
Across the room, Nozomi sighed to herself. “You should have said Kotori-chan…”   
  
Though she supposed that Kotori would just be upset at the idea of Honoka going on a date with Eli. Kotori had made it clear that she was completely supportive of Umi’s feelings for Honoka.   
  
Eli blushed at the compliment. “I think you’re the prettiest girl in Muse.” She argued.   
  
Nozomi rolled her eyes. Had the real Honoka been there she was sure this would have been a back and forth between the two of them. They were sickly sweet, really. But she was happy when Eli was happy.   
  
Chika blushed but she was saved from answering by the waitress appearing at the table. She ordered what Nozomi had instructed her to though ordering for Eli felt a bit awkward. Eli didn’t seem to mind though.   
  
“S-So our performance was a success, huh?”   
  
Eli nodded in response. “It was. I’m really glad we got to perform the song. We all worked so hard on it, especially you and Nozomi.”   
  
“Nozomi-chan?” Chika asked curiously.   
  
“It was her idea.” Eli explained “To you know, thread all of Muse together.”   
  
“Oh. That’s pretty adorable.” Chika whispered to herself. She remembered Nozomi talking to them about it but she hadn’t fully understood the third year’s motives. Now that she did though she couldn’t help but feel more admiration toward Nozomi than she had before. “Nozomi-chan is um...different to how she seems sometimes, hmm? I mean she can be sentimental sometimes. It’s kind of cute.”   
  
Eli smiled to herself and nodded her head. “Yeah, it is. She keeps that side hidden a lot but it’s one of the things I like most about her.”   
  
Chika heard her phone vibrate but pointedly ignored it.   
  
“But you have a sentimental side too.” Eli added, itching to reach across the table and take Honoka’s hand. She remembered what Nozomi had said about not being so forward though. About following Honoka’s lead. “You carry so much. You even got yourself sick because you wanted to show all of us you were strong. That we could make it to Love Live. I hate seeing you force yourself to do things for others. In fact...that’s kind of what it feels like you’re doing right now. For me.”   
  
“No! No, I want to be here with Eli-senpai! You didn’t force me at all, I wanted this!”   
  
Chika’s eyes widened as she looked down to see her hand in Eli’s. It was as if Honoka’s body and voice was reacting on it’s own.   
  
“Really?” Eli looked up at her with hope in her eyes.   
  
“Yes!” Chika forced herself to say. She didn’t want to but it was obviously what Honoka wanted. “I want to be here with Eli-senpai.”   
  
Eli relaxed into a soft smile and Chika felt herself relax too. She settled back down into her seat, realizing she was leaning across the table.   
  
Nozomi breathed a sigh of relief. It seemed Chika was finally getting used to the date. She could only hope that the girl wouldn’t screw up anymore.   
  
\---   
  
Honoka stirred to a slight discomfort in her back though her head was resting against something warm.  She vaguely remembered being on You’s boat, her head resting on Kanan’s shoulder. Her eyes shot open in alarm, the momentary thought that she was still there even after falling asleep occurring to her. She bolted upright, the sudden movement startling Eli.   
  
“Honoka? Are you okay?”   
  
Honoka wasn’t sure she’d ever been more relieved to see Eli than she was in that moment. “Y-Yeah, I’m fine.” She stuttered, feeling her heart rate slow down. As she looked into soft blue eyes, their plans for their date came to mind and she looked out of the train window, her heart plummeting when she noticed the setting sun. Her eyes prickled with tears of frustration. She had missed everything.   
  
Her gaze shifted back to Eli and she looked Eli over, a lump forming in her throat. She swallowed it back quickly. “Hey...you look really pretty today. Did I tell you that yet?”   
  
“Y-Yeah, you did when we met up. Why?” Eli asked with a slight blush.   
  
“Because I want to make sure you know how I feel about you and you don’t get the wrong idea.” Honoka answered simply. “And right now I’m dying to kiss you so…”   
  
“Yes.” Eli said quickly without waiting for Honoka to finish her sentence. She turned in her seat and gentle gripped Honoka’s chin before she leaned in and kissed her softly, her eyes flitting shut. She hadn’t had the chance to do so yet but she’d been hoping the opportunity would arise once she took Honoka back to her house. Feeling Honoka’s arm go around to her back and draw her closer, she allowed herself to linger innocently for a moment before she drew away again.   
  
When Honoka drew away, she took a shuddering breath. “Can we go somewhere else? Somewhere I think is still romantic even if it is cold?”   
  
Eli raised an eyebrow. She hadn’t failed to notice that Honoka was still holding onto her. “Where?”   
  
“The beach.” Honoka answered warily, almost certain Eli would say no. Indeed the blonde looked immediately sceptical of the idea. “Please? I don’t want our date to be over yet, I feel like…” She paused, biting her lip. She couldn’t tell Eli that she had missed the whole thing. “We can do so much more. We can go to the beach for a little while then you can come back to my house and we can cuddle. You...you can stay over!”   
  
Eli was surprised to hear that. “Are you sure you’re not tired of me yet?”   
  
“Of course not. I want to be with you all night.” Honoka said seriously, grasping Eli’s hand. “I want to wake up with you tomorrow morning. I want you to be the first thing I see and feel when I wake up tomorrow. Please?”   
  
Eli noticed the hint of lingering sadness in Honoka’s eyes. “Okay.” She leaned in slowly, giving Honoka ample time to pull away before she kissed her again, just fleetingly. “Let’s go to the beach then.”

\---  
  
Eli shivered as she drew her coat closed around her. It was as cold as she had thought it would be though on a positive note, that meant there was nobody else on the beach. It was more romantic this way, she decided. The sky was clear of clouds and there was a full moon out, lighting their way.   
  
She snuck a glance at Honoka, finding the girl to be deep in thought. “You’ve seemed distracted today.” She said softly, causing Honoka to look up. “I’m not complaining, I just want to know if there’s something on your mind.”   
  
“You are.” Honoka said honestly, thinking back to when she’d been with Kanan, Riko and You. Eli looked surprised then touched. “I’m not...just saying that. I’ve been thinking about you all day.”   
  
Eli blinked in surprise. “You have?”   
  
Honoka nodded. “I’ve been thinking about your smile, your eyes and it feels like the only thing I want to do is listen to your voice.”   
  
Eli blushed at the admission. She hadn’t been expecting that at all.   
  
“Hey, Eli-senpai…” Honoka stopped and Eli did the same. “Would it be okay if I kiss you?”   
  
“It’s cold.” Eli pointed out.   
  
“So I’ll warm you up.” Honoka took both of Eli’s hands and pushed them into her own pockets before her arms went around the blonde’s waist to hold her close. “See?”   
  
Eli smiled bashfully. “You sure are...touchy right now.”   
  
“Huh?”   
  
“You were kind of distant to me throughout the day, I thought.” Eli confessed sheepishly. “I mean sure you reassured me but I didn’t know for sure you wanted to be with me like...this. I’m sorry, I guess I’m just really new at this and...”   
  
“Shh.” Honoka said softly, her doubts fading away. “So am I. I’m sorry, I was really nervous today too. I guess I let it get the better of me.” She leaned in, gently kissing Eli but quickly pulled back. “Ah, you didn’t answer.”   
  
“Honoka, just kiss me.” Eli ordered, drawing Honoka in closer. She closed her eyes as the second year leaned in and kissed her. Gripping the material of Honoka’s pockets she tugged her flush against her and kissed her back, deeply. Honoka whimpered slightly and parted her lips, granting Eli access without hesitation.   
  
Eli’s hands slid free from Honoka’s pockets and moved up to cup her face instead, holding her close to her. She pulled back after a moment, feeling Honoka shiver. “Are you cold? Let’s go back to your house, okay? We can cuddle, like you said.”   
  
Honoka nodded, unable to bring herself to tell Eli that it wasn’t the cold that made her shiver.   
  
\---   
  
Eli was already tucked into Honoka’s bed by the time the girl returned from the bathroom in her pyjamas. Hearing Honoka sniffle, Eli pushed the blankets back and opened her arms to her. Clad in Honoka’s ‘ho’ sweatshirt, she had already warmed up. Honoka, in shorts and a pink shirt still seemed to be cold.   
  
“You’re going to catch a cold.” Eli said as Honoka crawled into bed with her, pulling the blankets back over them. As Honoka settled down in her arms, she closed her eyes and sighed blissfully. “Are you sure it’s okay for me to stay over?”   
  
Honoka nodded. She was sure she wouldn’t be switching with Chika the next day. “I want you to stay.” She mumbled, pressing closer to Eli. Smooth legs brushed against hers and she let out a gentle moan of approval as she realized Eli had neglected to put on pants or shorts.   
  
“Did you have fun?” Eli asked hopefully, pillowing her head on her right arm.   
  
Honoka nodded in response though she was distracted by the feeling of Eli’s leg hooking around her waist, pushing her shirt up a bit.   
  
“I did too.” Eli murmured, closing her eyes.   
  
“Hey, Eli-senpai…” Honoka looked up at Eli, feeling a twinge of guilt at having to switch to a serious topic. “When did you know you had feelings for me? It didn’t seem like you were interested until just recently. And it kind of came out of nowhere so…”   
  
Eli opened her eyes. “I see. I didn’t just realize it. I’ve known for a long time but I figured I should keep my distance and just be your friend. I guess the reason I’ve been more distant lately is because I didn’t want to watch you with anyone else. With Maki. So I kind of avoided you when I could. I like you a lot, Honoka. It’s not new to me.”   
  
Honoka was silent for a moment, mulling that over. “I want to be able to say that I like you back. But I don’t know if I do. I’m worried I might just be physically attracted to you like with…”   
  
“Maki?” Eli guessed quietly.   
  
Honoka paused for a moment then shook her head. “There was someone else. Someone you don’t know.” She felt Eli’s hold on her tighten for a split second then relax. “I thought I might really like her but now I think maybe she just...woke certain feelings. Like...wanting to kiss her and touch her. That kind of thing…”   
  
Eli swallowed hard at the thought.   
  
“This is all so new to me. I’ve never liked anyone, even physically before her.” Honoka admitted quietly. She turned onto her other side so her back was pressed against Eli’s front. She sought out Eli’s hand and clutched it close to her chest. “I know you like me and I don’t want to hurt you. So I’ll understand if you want to stop this.”   
  
Eli held her breath as Honoka pressed a light kiss to her knuckles. “I want to keep going. You’re worth the risk.”   
  
“And you call me reckless.” Honoka squeezed the hand in her own. “You’re...really something, Eli.”   
  
Eli’s eyes widened at the lack of honorific. So Honoka was really serious. “I can’t help who I fall for.” She said, pressing her lips to the nape of Honoka’s neck.   
  
Honoka shuddered again. “Can I…?” She didn’t get time to finish the request as Eli crawled atop her and leaned down, kissing her deeply. She reached up, tangling her fingers into soft blonde locks to hold her close.   
  
Eli’s tongue demandingly parted her lips and Honoka whimpered as she felt the fabric of the blonde’s panties rubbing against her stomach. She felt the unfamiliar desire to feel every inch of Eli’s skin against her own but she controlled herself. She did push Eli’s sweater up her back though. She was surprised when she felt warm, bare skin rather than the bra strap she’d expected to find.   
  
As Honoka’s hands drifted over her back, Eli moaned softly and rolled her hips against Honoka’s stomach.   
  
Honoka’s breath caught in her throat at the feeling. That was new. She shifted subtly beneath Eli and used her grip on the blonde to push her down against her, letting her repeat the action. Gasping for breath, Honoka tore her lips from Eli’s. She didn’t waste a moment though, her lips trailing down Eli’s jaw to her neck. She closed her eyes, feeling every movement and twitch of Eli’s hips as she continued to grind against her.   
  
Honoka did nothing to stop it, her nails digging lightly into Eli’s back as she sucked and licked at the girl’s neck. Eli was whimpering and trembling atop her, the occasional moan passing her lips as she unconsciously tried to find friction. It seemed to be working, from her reaction.   
  
“Eli-senpai, this is…” Honoka gasped as Eli’s movements sped up and she really began to feel that Eli’s panties were damp at the front now. She cursed under her breath and planted her feet on the bed for stability as she kissed Eli again, deep and hungry this time. Her hips moved of their own accord to meet Eli’s movements and the blonde moaned loudly into Honoka’s mouth. Her grip on Honoka tightened and then she was moving quicker, desperately this time.   
  
As Eli’s lips parted from hers, Honoka wasn’t sure what to expect. The blonde’s movements became rougher for a few moments before she stilled and tensed, shuddering as she squeezed her eyes shut.   
  
“Fuck, Honoka…”   
  
Honoka’s eyes widened at the cursing. It wasn’t often she heard that from Eli.   
  
Eli’s strength seemed to leave her and she half collapsed on top of Honoka, tucking her face into her neck. “Oh god…” Her face and neck burned with shame. That was just embarrassing. Honoka’s grip on her back had turned to light comforting rubbing but it didn’t really make her feel any better.   
  
“Ah...Eli-senpai, did you just…?”   
  
“Shut up.” Eli mumbled, refusing to look up.   
  
“Eli-senpai’s kind of a perv.” Honoka mused jokingly.   
  
“Shut up!” Eli whined helplessly. “And don’t tell Nozomi!”   
  
“You’re cute.” Honoka giggled to herself though she turned serious after a moment. “Look at me.”   
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                           
Eli hesitantly drew back and looked at Honoka, who leaned in, kissing her sweaty bangs. When Honoka pulled back, Eli didn’t see any judgement in her eyes. Just warmth.   
  
“I liked it.” Honoka said softly. “I liked making you like this, Eli.”   
  
Eli felt her heart skip a beat. Again, Honoka hadn’t used an honorific. She wasn’t sure how she felt about that, not because she was angry about being addressed so informally but because she almost missed the familiarity.   
  
“I don’t think we should go any further than this though.” Honoka continued, blushing a bit as well. “Our first times should be with someone we’re in love with, right? And someone who’s in love with us. I really want to…” She seemed to trail off, her eyes drifting over Eli. “We should save it for someone like that even if we don’t have them right now. We shouldn’t rush.”   
  
“What if I already have them?” Eli asked quietly.   
  
“Then you should tell them.” Honoka said, a bit saddened by the comment.   
  
“Right.” Eli said with a small smile. She kissed Honoka’s cheek and moved off of her, lying down on her back. “Let’s get some rest, okay? Not that we have anything to do tomorrow…”   
  
“I want to invite Umi-chan and Kotori-chan over.” Honoka said as she moved to Eli, resting her head on the blonde’s chest. “I don’t want to seem like I’m neglecting them. Especially Umi-chan, she hasn’t been as happy lately. I think that’s why Kotori-chan seems mad at me sometimes. You can stay if you want. Maybe invite Nozomi-chan over. Maybe Maki-chan and the others can come over too.”   
  
Eli gave a soft hum of agreement and closed her eyes, her arms going around Honoka to hold her close.   
  
TBC 


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here’s the next chapter of A Name In The Wind, hope you guys enjoy! 
> 
> Warning(s): A rule for this chapter is if it’s a HonoEli scene it’s most likely NSFW. As in mildly explicit.

Chika stared after Riko long after she disappeared from sight. It wasn’t going to be the same without her there, even if she wasn’t going to be gone for long. She recalled her discussion with Riko about her leaving as she stared ahead, as if waiting for her friend to return.    
  
‘ _ I’ll be waiting, I won’t go anywhere. We’ll all be waiting for you, I promise.’ _ _   
_ _   
_ She was relieved that she had been the one to have that discussion with Riko. She wouldn’t have wanted it to come from anyone else.    
  
She wrapped her arms around herself, almost able to feel Riko’s warmth clinging to her. She wondered how she’d never noticed that before. Just how warm Riko was. Everything about her was warm and comforting.    
  
‘ _ I love you.’ _ _   
_ _   
_ Her thoughts shifted briefly to Maki who had reminded her of Riko. She felt nothing short of guilty for hurting her but she wasn’t going to do the same with Riko. Not that it was the same thing, given her attraction to Maki and Maki’s attraction to her.    
  
“Hey, where did you go?” A voice that was unmistakably Kanan’s sounded and a moment later, Chika felt her hair being gently ruffled. “You was talking to you.”   
  
“Huh? She was?” Chika looked up in surprise, finding You and Kanan had returned to her side. “Ah, sorry. I just got distracted. It’s odd to see Riko-chan go…”   
  
“Yeah, it’s just the three of us again, huh?” Kanan lightly pinched Chika’s cheeks, causing the girl to whine and duck away from her.    
  
Chika ducked behind You, using her as a shield. “What are you doing?”   
  
“Huh? I used to do that when we were younger.” Kanan said, tilting her head in confusion.    
  
“Yeah, when I was five! I’m not a kid anymore!” Chika said, her voice slightly higher than usual.    
  
Kanan raised an eyebrow. “I’ve noticed.”   
  
“Eeh?!”   
  
“Geez, you’re acting so distant suddenly.” Kanan complained, crossing her arms in front of her chest. “Just a couple of days ago you couldn’t stop clinging to me. Sleeping with your head in my lap, on my shoulder, holding my hand…”   
  
“Checking you out.” You piped up, her tone a bit accusatory.    
  
“What?!” Chika exclaimed in disbelief.    
  
“It’s true. You stared at my boobs for five full minutes on You’s boat. I don’t think you even blinked.” Kanan pointed out matter of factly. “I guess it’s nice to be appreciated, even if it’s sudden…”   
  
“I did not do that!” Chika yelled only to remember they were in the middle of a train station. “You’re my childhood friend, practically my sister! It would be weird. If I was going to check anyone out it would be You-chan or...well maybe not You-chan because she’s my childhood friend too but...Riko-chan! O-Or um...Hanamaru-chan? No wait, that would be weird...just Riko-chan then.”   
  
She cursed Honoka’s attraction toward athletic girls. It was a real problem when that described both of her childhood friends.    
  
“Of course just Riko-chan.” You muttered with a roll of her eyes. She cleared her throat and spoke louder this time. “You really were checking her out though.”   
  
“Maybe I’m just...jealous of her boobs!” Chika suggested desperately. “Did you even think of that?!”   
  
Both You and Kanan looked skeptically down at Chika’s chest. It was unlikely.    
  
“No, you looked like you wanted to touch them.” Kanan disagreed. “Like the look Mari gets when she…”   
  
“Aah, no more talking!” Chika exclaimed, feeling a headache coming on. “Fine! Yes, you’re attractive. If I want to check you out, I will. You’re both attractive, that doesn’t mean I like you like that!”   
  
Noticing that Chika’s face was bright red, You decided to take pity on her. “Okay, let’s drop it. Let’s catch up with the others, Chika-chan.”   
  
\---   
  
Honoka gasped softly against Eli’s lips as the girl’s hand slid under her shirt, fingers splaying over her stomach. She couldn’t get enough of her touch, of the taste of her lips.    
  
Over the past few days Eli had gotten bolder and bolder, stealing kisses in the student council room when she was meant to be helping Honoka with paperwork, pulling her into a deep kiss before dance practice. Her hands were wandering too, travelling over Honoka’s butt and thighs. It was intoxicating, the way Eli touched her so intimately.    
  
They were in the student council room now, the door locked so that nobody else could get in. Eli had Honoka lightly pinned to the wall next to the door to make sure they were out of view. The moment they’d stepped inside, Eli had kissed her, gently pushing her back against the wall. Honoka had to admit that it was hot when Eli took control of her. More often than not, the third year was still somewhat tentative in her actions.    
  
Eli’s lips trailed to her neck, her right hand sliding to the back of Honoka’s thigh as her leg pressed up between the second year’s thighs.    
  
Honoka hissed softly, her head falling back against the wall.. “Eli-senpai…”   
  
“Mmm?” Eli gave a questioning hum, lightly nipping at Honoka’s neck. She could feel Honoka subtly grinding against her leg.    
  
Honoka reached out, playing with the top button of Eli’s shirt. Her bow and blazer had been discarded a few minutes ago. “Can I unbutton this?”   
  
Eli paused for a split second, surprised by the question. “Sure. Why?”   
  
“Because I want to see you.” Honoka murmured, lifting her other hand and making short work of the buttons. When it was unbuttoned, she darily pushed it off Eli’s shoulders, letting it fall to the floor.    
  
Eli hissed at the cool air hitting her skin. She felt herself being turned and pushed to the wall, her legs lifted by Honoka’s firm hands. She let out a squeak of surprise and clutched Honoka tightly, instinctively wrapping her legs around her waist. “H-Honoka, wait. I’m too heavy.”   
  
“No, you’re not.” Honoka’s lips moved to Eli’s chest and she smattered kisses across the soft skin there, her hips pressing insistently against Eli. Neither of them noticed any noise outside of the door until it opened suddenly and they both heard Nozomi’s voice.    
  
“I told you I could pick the lock, Umi-cha...holy…”    
  
“What? Nozomi, don’t close the…”   
  
The door slammed shut and  Honoka was completely still for a moment, letting what had just happened wash over her. She dropped Eli after a moment, quickly backing away. “Oh no…”   
  
Eli bent to grab her shirt from the floor and quick pull it back on. She buttoned it up, watching Honoka in concern. “I don’t think Umi saw anything.”   
  
“I hope not.” Honoka said quietly.    
  
Eli was about to ask why she would care if Umi knew what they were doing if Umi already knew they were going on dates together when Honoka opened the door. Nozomi was standing there, blocking the door to keep Umi from entering.    
  
“Hey, Umi-chan.” Honoka greeted, running her hands over her hair to neaten it. “Was there something you needed?”   
  
“I wanted to see if you needed any help with your work. I know you haven’t been feeling very…” She wavered, not sure how to describe Honoka’s odd moods. “I just wanted to know if you needed help.”   
  
“No, I’m all done.” Honoka answered brightly. She was ahead actually, now that she had Eli’s help.    
  
“Oh. Then do you want to walk home together?” Umi asked hopefully. “Kotori already left but she said I should ask you.”   
  
“Um…” Honoka glanced uncertainly at Eli who averted her eyes. “Sure.”   
  
Umi noticed the look between the two of them and realized they must have had plans. “Do you want to walk with us, Eli?”   
  
Eli looked up in surprise, having not expected the invite. “If you don’t mind.”   
  
Umi shrugged her shoulders. She’d wanted to walk with Honoka but they were her friends so she wouldn’t say no to them. “What about you, Nozomi…?”   
  
“No thanks. I’ll walk home with Nicocchi if I can find her.” Nozomi said with a laugh. “This is one threesome I’m not interested in getting in the middle of.”   
  
“Nozomi!” Eli exclaimed, her eyes widening.   
  
Nozomi walked over to Eli and took her hand, tugging her a couple of feet away. “Elichi, you need to be more careful. You're lucky that I’m the one who saw you.”   
  
Eli sighed in response. “I didn’t expect anyone to pick the lock!”   
  
“Well she needed to get in, how was I meant to know you two were getting it on in here?” Nozomi asked, raising an eyebrow. “It’s not a bedroom you know.”   
  
Eli growled under her breath. “I know. And just so you know we’re not even having sex so...it wasn’t like that.”   
  
“Sure.” Nozomi said sarcastically. “If you get off it’s still sex.”   
  
“Nozomi!”   
  
“Well I’m gonna find the ball of anger that is Nicocchi. Have fun you...three. Good luck, Umi-chan.”    
  
“Huh?” Umi stared after Nozomi as she walked out of the room laughing to herself. “Good luck with what?”   
  
“N-Nothing.” Honoka said with a blush.    
  
“Let’s just go.” Eli walked over to Honoka and took her hand, tugging her toward the door.    
  
Umi followed, frowning in confusion at their joined hands.    
  
\---   
  
It was only when Honoka reached the front door to Homura’s that it sank in that Umi was still with her. She had been so absorbed in their conversation that she hadn’t noticed. She was confused though, now that she had. “Do you want to come in, Umi-chan?”   
  
“Ah, no. I shouldn’t.” Umi said with a shake of her head as she stepped back. Her gaze fell once more to Honoka’s hand, clutching Eli’s. “I have some things I need to do. I promised Kotori we would talk.”   
  
“Didn’t she leave you at school though?” Honoka asked in confusion.    
  
“Ah, she texted me.” Umi said, thinking quickly. She breathed a sigh of relief as Honoka nodded, seemingly accepting that.    
  
“Do you need to talk, Umi-chan?” Honoka asked outright, deciding that being subtle hadn’t worked for her so far. “I feel like there’s something you’re not telling me…”   
  
“Eh?” Umi’s eyes widened in surprise. She looked quickly to Eli who was watching Honoka closely. “No, I’m um...I’m fine. I can’t right now.”   
  
“Because Eli-senpai is here?” Honoka let go of Eli’s hand and stepped closer to Umi. “Come upstairs, we can talk in private. You know you can tell me anything, Umi-chan. I know I haven’t...been myself lately but if there’s something bothering you I want to know.”   
  
“Of course I know that.” Umi stepped forward and hugged Honoka tightly, meeting Eli’s eyes over Honoka’s shoulder. The blonde looked confused, she noticed. As Honoka’s arms came around her, Umi allowed herself to linger in the embrace for a moment before she drew away. “If I need to talk to you, I will. I promise. I just have to go and help Kotori with something.”   
  
“Okay. Call me later?” Honoka requested quietly. She watched as Umi smiled and nodded in agreement before she wandered off. She felt Eli come up behind her, not touching her but standing close. “I hate this. I know there’s something she’s not telling me.”   
  
“Yeah. Maybe it’s private.” Eli guessed as she watched Umi’s retreating back. “I mean...it didn’t seem like you told her about us even though you mentioned her on our date…”   
  
“But that’s different!” Honoka protested hurriedly. “We’re not...dating or anything so we don’t need to tell anyone, right?”   
  
“Huh? But you said we are.” Eli said in confusion. “We don’t have to be a couple but we can try it out, remember? We can still date.”   
  
“I don’t know what the difference is.” Honoka admitted, turning to Eli once Umi was out of sight. “But I don’t think we’re...doing that officially. We’re just…”   
  
“Friends with benefits?” Eli interrupted, looking disgusted at the thought. “We’re just friends who fool around, right? Making out and stuff?”   
  
Honoka nodded silently and watched as Eli’s shoulders slumped. “I can’t give you anything else right now, Eli-senpai…”   
  
“You said we were just testing it out, seeing how you feel about it.” Eli took a deep breath. “I like you, Honoka. Do you like me? Not just physically. I think that’s what it comes down to...”   
  
“I do.” Honoka said quietly. “But I can’t date you. Or be with you, I just...need this right now. I need us to be simple and...I need you to not get too attached.”   
  
“Attached? Are...are you kidding me?!” Eli exclaimed in shock.    
  
“I didn’t mean it like that!” Honoka said loudly in frustration, taking a step back. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me! I’m attracted to you but I’m attracted to Umi-chan too! And a girl who looks like you too! And a redhead I know. And I like you and Umi-chan and Kanan-chan and Riko-chan because you’re all my friends so I-I don’t  _ know _ how I feel or who I want! How am I supposed to KNOW?! This is all new to me and I don’t know what I’m doing, Eli-senpai! I don’t want to hurt you or Umi-chan like I hurt Maki-chan...”   
  
“Hey, calm down.” Eli stepped forward and took Honoka into her arms. “No labels, okay? Not with us. We can just...be us. Doing what we want with each other.” She pressed her lips to the top of Honoka’s head, feeling her nod against her shoulder. “Let’s go upstairs. It’s freezing.”   
  
Honoka nodded again and let Eli pull away and take her hand, leading her upstairs to her room. When they got there, Honoka numbly sat down on the bed while Eli paused in front of her.    
  
“Hey um..who are Kanan and Riko?” Eli asked curiously, remembering Honoka mentioning them. “Do I know them?”   
  
“No.”    
  
Eli sat down on the edge of the bed and let herself fall onto her back. “Can you tell me about them? Or is that too weird?”   
  
“Maybe…” Honoka couldn’t resist moving to Eli, lying on her side next to her. She lay her head on Eli’s shoulder, pressing close to her. “Kanan-chan is like...she looks like you and Umi-chan, kind of. She’s um...fit like you but she has Umi-chan’s hair. She has a big sister vibe and she loves the water. She works at a shack and she’s so caring. She’s always looking out for me. You would like her, I think.”   
  
Eli offered a small smile. “And Riko?”   
  
“Riko is just...she’s really pretty. She has red hair, darker than Maki-chan’s but she reminds me of Umi-chan too. She has her eyes and I feel safe with her, like...she would support me no matter what. Just like Umi-chan. She gets embarrassed almost as much as Umi-chan too.” Honoka admitted, a slight blush to her cheeks. “She plays the piano too, like Maki-chan. And she’s so passionate about her music. I really like that about her.”   
  
“And Umi-chan?”   
  
“Umi-chan is...my best friend. You know how she is, I don’t need to tell you that. I just...I love her. That’s all.”   
  
Eli hummed, playing with the ends of Honoka’s hair. “Honoka, are you sure you don’t like Umi the most? You talk about her a lot…”   
  
“Sorry.” Honoka mumbled, earning herself a gentle smile from Eli. “I’m just confused.”   
  
Eli hummed softly but fell silent. “Uh...do you mind if I ask you something? You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to.”   
  
“I’ve never kissed anyone but Eli-senpai. If that’s what you want to know.” Honoka felt Eli relax, that alone telling her she had been right in her assumption.    
  
“I was wondering about that.” Eli murmured. She pressed her forehead to Honoka’s temple and lightly nuzzled her cheek. “What about Nozomi? Do you think she’s attractive?”   
  
“Nozomi-chan’s super hot.” Honoka said, turning slightly toward Eli. “And she’s so kind too. She helps me a lot. But I don’t like her in that way.”   
  
“But she’s your favorite, huh?”    
  
“Favorite?” Honoka echoed in confusion.    
  
“I mean you’re always going to her…” Eli said warily. “Whenever you’re worried about something. Whenever something is wrong you always talk to Nozomi instead of anyone else.”   
  
Honoka reached up, brushing Eli’s hair back from her face. “Eli-senpai is my favorite.” She leaned in slowly, giving Eli time to pull away before she kissed her softly. “You didn’t ask me to talk about you. When you went through the list.”   
  
“Why would I?” Eli whispered back. “I know about me. But if you want to…”   
  
“You’re bold.” Honoka murmured, still so close that Eli could feel her breath on her lips. “I like that you took action when you wanted me. And you’re so hot. Sometimes I’m just...so tempted to take you.” She brushed her lips lightly against Eli’s, noticing the girl was holding her breath. “To do what it says on the internet, to sink my fingers deep inside of you and make you feel good…”   
  
“You do?” Eli finally released the breath she was holding, a familiar warmth forming in her lower stomach.    
  
“Mmm.” Honoka kissed Eli once more but pulled back before the blonde could deepen the kiss. “I like you...sexually. And maybe romantically. But I love you as my friend and I think that’s more important.”   
  
“Well I love you in every way.” Eli said with a confidence Honoka wished she had. If she knew for sure how she felt about Eli everything would be a lot easier. “So my first time is yours. When you want it. As you said, it should be with someone I’m in love with…”   
  
Honoka swallowed thickly. “In love with? I thought you just liked me.”   
  
Eli gave a slight nod of her head. “I was lying about that.”   
  
Honoka sighed and looked down at the sheets below them. “I’m sorry…”   
  
Eli shrugged. “It’s not as if it’s your fault. You didn’t do anything besides be yourself. Maybe it’s my fault.”   
  
Honoka bit her lip and let her eyes drift over Eli’s form. “So you do want me to touch you?”   
  
Eli gave a hesitant nod. “Not if you don’t want to though.”   
  
“We could do...other stuff. We don’t need to go all the way.” Honoka said tentatively. Her confidence was lifted by the hopeful look on Eli’s face. “Take your shirt off. A-And your bra. Please.”   
  
Eli shyly looked away. “You can do it for me if you want.”   
  
Honoka’s eyes briefly widened before she nodded quickly. With shaky hands, she reached out and unbuttoned Eli’s shirt, helping her out of it.    
  
She swallowed thickly, taking a moment to look Eli over, taking in the sight of soft, supple looking skin before her eyes lingered on her chest. She pressed closer, her arms going around Eli’s torso so she could get her hands to the clip. “Is this okay…?” She waited for a nod before she unclipped the bra and carefully helped Eli out of it.    
  
“Shit…” Honoka breathed, her eyes wide with wonder as Eli’s bra fell from her hands.    
  
Eli cracked a smile when Honoka just continued to stare. “I don’t know what to think about that reaction.”   
  
“Sorry, you’re just um…” Honoka shook her head and looked back up into Eli’s eyes. “You’re really…”   
  
Eli raised an eyebrow as Honoka’s cheeks flushed slightly, her gaze drifting back to her chest. “Really…?”   
  
“I-I don’t know. Hot. Not hot, you’re…” Honoka struggled to find the right word, strong enough to express how she felt. “Beautiful. Yeah…”   
  
“You’re sweet.” Eli smiled, a blush crawling up her cheeks.    
  
“I’m just being honest.” Honoka said with a shrug. Eli was way out of her league, she knew that. “Um...can you lie down?”   
  
“Sure.” Eli trustingly lay down on her back and waited. After a few seconds, Honoka threw a leg over her and situated herself so she was straddling her stomach. Eli felt her breath hitch in her chest as Honoka’s fingers skimmed lightly over her stomach, pausing near her breasts. “You’re allowed to touch.” She said before Honoka had a chance to ask if she could. “Whatever you want.”   
  
Honoka smiled briefly before she leaned down and pressed a light kiss between Eli’s breasts. Looking up, she found that Eli’s eyes had fluttered shut. Experimentally she cupped Eli’s right breast in her hand, squeezing lightly while she trailed kisses over the other until she could take a hardening nub into her mouth, her tongue flicking against it. She remembered reading somewhere that it was a good idea to pay attention to that area.    
  
Eli gasped softly, her hand moving to the back of Honoka’s head, resting there lightly as Honoka nipped and sucked at her skin. “Yeah. T-That’s good, Honoka. Just like that.” She whispered, sliding her fingers into Honoka’s hair.    
  
Honoka drew her mouth away for just a moment and Eli hissed at the cool air. “Tell me what to do, Eli-senpai.”   
  
“Uh…” Eli blanked out for a moment as Honoka’s mouth returned to her breast. “I-I don’t want you to. I know you’re not ready b-but what if I touch myself? I’m so turned on, Honoka…”   
  
Honoka stilled completely for a moment before lifting her head.    
  
“It’ll just be under my skirt. It won’t be...you won’t see anything.” Eli hastened to reassure her, her cheeks flaming red. “Please?”   
  
“Alright.” Honoka whispered with a slight nod. “Do you want me to move?”   
  
Eli shook her head as her own hand travelled down. “Just lift up a bit.” She waited until Honoka had lifted herself on her knees before she slipped her arm under her and let her hand wander under her own skirt.   
  
Honoka watched Eli for a moment, taking in the way her eyes closed and her lips parted in a silent gasp. She could feel the wrist pressed against the inside of her thigh moving subtly, Eli’s hips moving slightly too. “How does it feel?”   
  
“Good.” Eli moaned softly, forcing her eyes open so she could look at Honoka. “It would be better if it was your fingers though. Can you uh...go back to what you were doing?”   
  
“As long as you tell me what you’re doing.” Honoka paused until Eli hastily nodded in agreement before she went back to what she’d been doing, her lips capturing Eli’s nipple once more.    
  
Eli hissed at the feeling and pushed her hand into her underwear. Remembering her agreement, she took a deep breath. “I’m...I’m just rubbing myself right now…”   
  
“Hmm?” Honoka looked up at Eli, meeting her blue eyes.    
  
Eli nervously licked her lips. She wasn’t used to this and she wasn’t sure she could manage dirty talk. “I’m...uh…”   
  
Honoka smiled slightly against Eli’s breast, enamoured by how much of a bumbling mess the blonde suddenly was. “It’s okay, you don’t have to say anything. Just keep going.”   
  
Eli took a slow breath and then shifted her hand, slipping two fingers inside of herself. “Honoka, will you...do something for me?” Honoka looked up with innocently questioning eyes. “Take your panties off.”   
  
Doubt niggled at the back of Honoka’s mind but she didn’t want to say no, she was too caught up in the moment. She moved off of Eli and slid her panties off, tossing them aside before she moved back on top of the blonde. She hovered over her self-consciously. “Um...what now?”   
  
“Grind against my arm.” Eli ordered, seemingly forgetting about how embarrassing the situation was. “I won’t see you, I’ll just feel you.” She noticed a flicker of hesitation on Honoka’s face. “Come on, it’ll just be like doing it yourself. You’re just using my body to make yourself feel good. You want to feel good, right?”   
  
The way Eli was looking at her through half-lidded eyes, her hand moving at a lazy pace between her legs was more than enough to convince Honoka that she needed to say yes.    
  
“So...like this?” Honoka hesitantly lowered herself down until she could feel Eli’s arm against her. She gasped at the same time as Eli did. “Ah, that feels…”   
  
“Good?” Eli guessed shakily, moving her hand a little bit faster, her hips jerking slightly. “God, you’re so wet.”   
  
“H-Hey!” Honoka exclaimed flushed with embarrassment.    
  
“We’re even now.” Eli remarked with a soft smirk.    
  
Honoka wanted to wipe the smug look off Eli’s face but she couldn’t bring herself to try. Her hips were moving on their own, Eli’s arm acting as the perfect thing to grind against. She leaned forward slightly, gripping the blankets beneath the blonde for stability.    
  
“Wait…” Eli lifted her free hand and used it to quickly pull Honoka’s untied ribbon completely off before she unfastened the top three buttons of her shirt. “That’s better…”   
  
Honoka felt Eli’s free hand grasp her shoulder, keeping her pushed slightly back and keeping her stabilized. She was grateful for the support. Even now her knees were trembling beneath her. She whimpered as Eli’s wrist pressed up against her. She squeezed her eyes shut and bit her lip, focusing on the movement of her hips against the blonde.   
  
“Fuck.” Eli swore, planting her feet against the bed to steady herself as she quickened the speed of her fingers. “You’re so hot, Honoka. Just keep going. Just like that.”   
  
Honoka’s eyes opened for a moment, briefly meeting Eli’s before they closed again and Honoka doubled her efforts, moaning unashamedly as she continued to grind down against Eli’s arm. “Eli-senpai, I think I’m…”   
  
“It’s okay.” Eli’s grip on Honoka’s shoulder tightened and she focused on her face. “Just go with it.”   
  
With one last push of her hips, Honoka felt a rush of pleasure, her hips jerking as if of their own accord against Eli’s wrist.    
  
Eli watched in awe as Honoka threw her head back slightly, her lip still tucked between her teeth. The sight was enough to get her to follow Honoka to climax and she moaned loudly as it hit her, her hips jerking up against her fingers. She kept her eyes on Honoka as pleasure washed over her in waves before finally stopping. She slumped down and let Honoka fall forward on top of her.    
  
Honoka tucked her face into Eli’s neck, breathing heavily. “That was…”   
  
“Hot.” Eli finished, lightly rubbing Honoka’s back. “This is as far as we can go though. We can’t go past third base.”   
  
“Hmm?” Honoka didn’t bother to lift her head. “So this still doesn’t count as sex?”   
  
Eli shook her head. “It’s not sex unless my fingers are inside of you. And we’re definitely not doing that until you’re ready. Just think of this as...mutual masturbation.”   
  
Honoka wasn’t sure she was inclined to agree. She moved off Eli, lying on her side next to her instead. “That’s the first time I’ve ever…”   
  
“Well I must be good.” Eli grinned as she grabbed some blankets and tugged them over them.    
  
“Do you do it a lot?” Honoka asked curiously. She sighed in relief, feeling Eli’s warmth press against her back, an arm going around her waist.   
  
“A lot more than I did.” Eli gently kissed Honoka’s cheek. “Now that we have this no labels thing going on. It’s hard not to.”   
  
Honoka smiled at hearing that. She liked that it was so easy with Eli. She reached down and took Eli’s hand, drawing it to her chest. “I really like you, Eli-senpai. As someone I do this kind of thing with. But I love you too, as my friend. I love you and I like you.”   
  
Eli chuckled softly against Honoka’s back. “Well I love you and I love you.” She felt Honoka tremble in her arms with silent laughter. “You really are new to this, huh? It’s so adorable.”

 

“Well so are you!” Honoka pointed out hurriedly. “You said I was your first kiss.”   
  
Eli gave a soft hum of agreement. She couldn’t argue with that. “I just mean that you’re new to even being interested. You’re pretty dense. Even more than Nico.”   
  
Honoka sighed loudly and loosened her grip on Eli’s arm enough that the blonde could draw it away without trying.    
  
“Honoka?” Eli spoke warily. She was worried when Honoka didn’t answer. “Hey, I’m only kidding. I’m not trying to offend you. I think it’s cute, really. You don’t have to be upset about being...innocent. I knew that already, remember? Honoka?”   
  
“I know.” Honoka mumbled. “And I know you’re not with me because I’m good at things like that. You really like me so it doesn’t matter, right?”   
  
“You are good at things like that.” Eli kissed just behind Honoka’s ear. “But it’s not the reason I love you. You’re a catch, Honoka. Really.”   
  
Honoka turned over suddenly and crawled atop Eli, lightly pinning her hands to the bed at either side of her head. “I’m not as innocent as you think I am, Senpai.”   
  
“You aren’t, huh?” Eli smirked up at Honoka. “Maybe you can show me sometime. How...not innocent you are.”   
  
“Maybe I will.” Honoka said, raising an eyebrow. Her lips turned up slightly as Eli shifted her hands, entwining their fingers but didn’t fight against the way they were pinned to the bed. She pressed herself close to the blonde and leaned down, kissing at her neck.   
  
Eli inhaled sharply at the feeling, her eyes fluttering shut as she focused on the feeling of Honoka’s warmth against her. A sudden twinge at her neck had her gasping softly as the girl sucked lightly at her neck.    
  
“There.” Honoka announced huskily as she drew back to assess her work. “Now it’s obvious you’re taken.”   
  
“Taken.” Eli muttered with a slight shake of her head. “Does that mean you’re taken too? Even though we’re not official.”   
  
Honoka thought about that for a moment before breaking into a smile. “Yes, I am. For now, I am.”   
  
\---   
  
Kanan wasn’t all that surprised to find Chika sitting on the beach, her knees drawn to her chest. Chika had been going to the beach to think for years. Almost as long as Kanan had known her. She slowed down her run, slightly out of breath as she approached the girl. She was slightly uncomfortable, her swimsuit still wet and clinging to her skin but it was nothing she wasn’t used to.    
  
“Hey.” She greeted Chika, plopping down next to her on the sand. “You look deep in thought.”   
  
“Not really.” Chika answered with a small smile as she turned to look at Kanan. “I’m just worried about You-chan. She’s seemed kind of upset. I guess I’ve been acting kind of weird lately too, huh?”   
  
Kanan raised an eyebrow. “That’s an understatement.” She shifted closer to Chika when the girl frowned, their arms brushing together but she didn’t say anything.    
  
“I’m sorry I’ve been avoiding you.” Chika said softly as she shifted, crossing her legs beneath her. “I guess I’ve been...distant lately? But it’s not you, I even freak out when Ruby-chan touches me.  _ Ruby-chan! _ ”   
  
Kanan felt her lips turn up slightly at Chika’s comment. It was hard to believe that anyone would find Ruby intimidating.    
  
“You’re not saying anything.” Chika sighed, her shoulders slumping slightly when Kanan made no effort to respond.    
  
“I’m just hoping you’ll tell me what’s bothering you.” Kanan said quietly. “I think I know but I would like it if you would tell me.”   
  
“Kn-Know…?” Chika stuttered, a shiver running down her spine. Kanan couldn’t know. It wasn’t possible. She gave a slightly nervous laugh. “Just how weird was I a couple of days ago?”   
  
“You were cuter.” Kanan moved closer.    
  
Chika swallowed thickly. This wasn’t good. That wasn’t a tone she was used to hearing from Kanan.    
  
“I’m usually right about these things so I’m going to take my chances…” Kanan lifted her hand and placed it lightly on Chika’s cheek, turning her face toward her.    
  
“K-Kanan-chan…”   
  
Kanan shushed Chika gently and slowly leaned in. She lingered close to her for a split second before she decided to follow her instincts and kissed her softly. She felt Chika freeze but she hadn’t expected her to respond right away. A moment later she felt hands plant themselves on her shoulders as Chika moved and felt herself being pushed away. She opened her eyes, looking at Chika in surprise.    
  
“W-What was that?!” Chika exclaimed, her eyes wide. “Why would you…? Y-You’re like my  _ sister _ !”   
  
“Huh? I thought that was...what you wanted?” Kanan felt her stomach drop. “I thought that was why you had been acting so off lately and you’ve been looking at me differently so I-I thought you wanted it. You gave me signs! I’m confused…”   
  
“You’re not the only one who’s confused!” Chika exclaimed loudly. She groaned and buried her face in her hands. “I hate this!”   
  
“Wow, that kind of hurts, Chika…” Kanan said teasingly.    
  
“I-I’m sorry! It wasn’t bad, I-I kind of liked it. A little bit.” Chika said, hurrying to reassure Kanan. She didn’t want her to get the wrong idea and think she hated her or anything. “I mean…”   
  
Kanan smirked. “I thought I reminded you of Mito-san?”   
  
Chika yelped and placed her hands over her ears. “Bad images, bad images!”   
  
Kanan chuckled under her breath, relieved that Chika didn’t seem angry with her at least. “Why don’t you ever call me Kanan-onee-chan if you think of me like that?”   
  
“What?” Chika looked up at Kanan, her brow furrowed in confusion.    
  
“I mean...even when we were younger you always called me Kanan or Kanan-chan.” Kanan said with a shrug of her shoulders. “So I was wondering when you started thinking of me like that.”   
  
“I-I don’t know.” Chika stuttered, shaking her head. “I guess...I always have. I don’t call you Onee-chan or anything but I’ve always thought of you as being closer than a friend. Because I know we’ll always be together. I mean...not in that way. I know you’ll never leave me.”   
  
“But you can say the same thing about You, can’t you?” Kanan asked expectantly. “And you don’t think of her as your sister.”   
  
“I-I don’t really…” Chika stared down at her crossed legs for a moment, her brow furrowed before she looked up at Kanan again. “Can you kiss me again?”   
  
“Eeeh?!” Kanan exclaimed, her eyes wide with surprise.    
  
“Please?” Chika asked hopefully, reaching out to take Kanan’s hand. “It’ll really help me.”   
  
Kanan sighed in response but finally gave a nod of agreement. She waited until Chika had closed her eyes before she leaned in and kissed her again. This time Chika responded to the kiss, her hand moving to Kanan’s shoulder as she rose up slightly to meet her. Kanan’s arm went around Chika’s waist and she drew her closer, keeping them balanced with her right hand on the ground.    
  
Chika was surprised when she felt Kanan’s tongue against her lips but she parted them anyway, figuring she needed this to get the full experience. She couldn't deny that it was pleasant, from the feeling of Kanan’s lips and tongue against hers to the feeling of the older girl holding her close. She drew away slowly, taking a gulp of much needed air.    
  
“Well?” Kanan asked, loosening her hold on Chika.    
  
“Uh…” Chika thought for a moment before shaking her head. “No. I mean...it was nice. But I didn’t feel like it was going anywhere really. I-I mean usually with this kind of thing you want more, right? You want to kiss more or do other stuff...right? I was just kind of nervous the whole time, worrying about what you would do...”   
  
“Maybe if we try something else.” Kanan moved to her knees and straddled Chika’s lap, ignoring her cry of surprise. She grasped the girl’s hands and moved them to her hips. “Usually it would be more intimate but there’s nobody around. See how you feel taking the lead.”   
  
“T-Taking the lead?” Chika stuttered nervously. “Just for practice, right? And I can do what I want?”   
  
“Within reason.” Kanan said with a light laugh.    
  
“Right.” Chika took a deep breath and leaned up, carefully pressing her lips to Kanan’s. She closed her eyes, feeling Kanan tentatively respond but it was clear she was letting her take the lead. She kissed her harder, her grip on Kanan tightening as she focused on how it felt. It didn’t really feel like it had with Maki.   
  
She drew away and nervously turned her attention to Kanan’s neck, kissing there. She couldn’t deny how satisfying the sharp inhalation she heard was so she nipped lightly at the skin there. She paused after, her grip loosening. “I-I don’t think this is working…”   
  
“Maybe not for you…”   
  
“Sorry.” Chika let go of Kanan and felt her move off her lap, settling down next to her. “I definitely don’t think of you like that.”   
  
“Right.” Kanan leaned back on her hands, thinking. “So why do you keep giving me mixed signals?”   
  
Chika sighed irritably. “Would you believe me if I told you I keep switching with someone else’s...spirit and they like you in that way?”   
  
Kanan was silent for a long moment. “That would make sense actually.”   
  
“Eh?!” Chika exclaimed loudly. “Are you serious?!”   
  
“Well there are times when you don’t seem like yourself.” Kanan reasoned thoughtfully. “What kind of spirit is it? A spirit from the ocean?”   
  
“What? No!” Chika said, shaking her head. “It’s um...this is going to sound crazy. You know Honoka from Muse, right? My idol? She’s...the person I keep switching with.”   
  
“So you’re telling me a famous idol...likes me?” Kanan sounded smug about that and Chika rolled her eyes in response.    
  
“She’s in the past. Back when she’s in her second year of high school so she’s not that famous yet.”   
  
“Oh. I think I...need to process this.” Kanan said quietly, feeling an oncoming headache.    
  
“She only likes you because you remind her of Ayase Eli?” Chika added, hoping to make it feel less weird for Kanan.    
  
“Wow, thanks…” Kanan muttered with a roll of her eyes.    
  
“Sorry. I’m just being honest.” Chika said sheepishly. “But it does seem like you’re her type…”   
  
“Shut up, Chika.” Kanan sighed, leaning her head back. “So who was your first kiss? I can tell it wasn’t me so who was it?”   
  
“Uh...Nishikino Maki.” Chika answered sheepishly, her cheeks turning red.    
  
“Whoa, you got one of the hot ones.” Kanan said in surprise. “Isn’t she the pianist too? Riko would be so jealous if you told her you made out with her. You did make out, right?”   
  
“Yeah, I guess...well once. I didn’t really tell Honoka-chan about that though so don’t mention it to her if you…” Chika trailed off, shaking her head. “She just thinks I kissed Maki-chan. But that was the first time so...yeah. I don’t know what I’m doing. I don’t think I’m ready for any of this with anyone.”   
  
Kanan nodded, a little reassured by that at least. She fell silent, her chest tightening as she felt Chika lean into her side.    
  
“I don’t know what to do.” Chika mumbled, staring out at the sea.    
  
“It’ll be okay.” Kanan said softly, though she wasn’t sure she could promise that. From what Chika described it was obvious they were in over their heads.    
  
TBC   



	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here’s the next chapter of ANITW, hope you guys enjoy. And thanks for the comments, I really appreciate them! :)
> 
> Just a heads up, the next few chapters will be very relationship based because I want to flesh them out a bit and to be honest, I’m not in a hurry to get straight to the point and finish the fic. I would rather write a LOT of stuff that I want to write, that I feel people would like reading and that I feel fits in here - such as confusion between Chika and Honoka about Honoka’s relationship with Eli, side ships like KotoMaki etc - than brush all that aside to get right to the point. If that makes sense?
> 
> Warning: If it’s a HonoEli scene, it’s gonna be explicit so if you don’t wanna read that maybe just skip?

Eli wasn’t sure what had changed but for the next week or so it was like Honoka had gone back to normal. There were no longer days when she would act distant or cold toward her, aside from keeping a respectable amount of distance when they were at school.    
  
The only thing that really concerned Eli was that when Umi and Maki were in the vicinity, Honoka acted a little more aloof around her. As if they were friends rather than anything else. It was confusing, given the fact that Honoka had once said she’d spoken openly to Umi about going on a date with her. There was also the fact that whatever had happened between Honoka and Maki was over. That’s what Honoka had told her.    
  
When they were around Nozomi Honoka was completely different. She was completely open about their relationship, even going so far as to kiss her in front of Nozomi. Obviously it was the case that she didn’t care what people thought so it puzzled Eli as to why Honoka cared so much about Umi and Maki finding out.    
  
That was nothing compared to now though, when Honoka had Eli pinned to the wall up on the roof, around the corner so that nobody could see what they were doing. It was risky but Honoka didn’t seem to care. She had Eli’s hands trapped to the wall at either side of her head and she was kissing her deeply, pressing their bodies flush together, her knee rising up between Eli’s legs to press against her.    
  
“H-Honoka, wait…” Eli turned her head slightly though Honoka wasn’t discouraged and began to kiss her way down to her neck instead. “We could get caught.”   
  
“No, we won’t.” Honoka mumbled, kissing and sucking lightly at Eli’s skin. “Who could blame me anyway, you’re so…”    
  
Eli gasped in surprise as Honoka’s hands travelled down, over her ass to the backs of her thighs. She bit her lip as she looked at the skin on display. They were in their training outfits so Honoka was wearing her off the shoulder display. Eli couldn’t help but think about exploring the expanse of skin with her mouth. “H-Honoka, come on. You’re driving me crazy…”   
  
“Mmm?” Honoka hummed innocently, pressing closer to Eli.    
  
Eli’s eyes slid shut as Honoka’s lips roamed over her throat and upper chest. Her hand slid around from Eli’s back to her front and she pressed her fingers between Eli’s legs, rubbing insistently.    
  
Eli bit down on her lower lip to supress a moan. “Honoka…”   
  
“It won’t count if it’s over your shorts, right?” Honoka whispered, recalling what Eli had said about that. “Or your panties.”   
  
Eli whimpered despite herself as Honoka’s touch became firmer and more confident with every swipe. Unwittingly she began to grind her hips forward into the touch. In the back of her mind she worried about what would happen if someone caught them but the pleasure she was receiving far outweighed any niggling concerns.    
  
“You’re so hot, Senpai…” Honoka whispered huskily, dragging her free hand up and under Eli’s shirt to make contact with warm skin. “I can’t keep my hands off you, you’re so…”   
  
“Fuck.” Eli whimpered as Honoka trailed off and bit down on her neck. Her arms went around Honoka’s shoulders for stability and she pulled her close just as she heard the door open around the corner.    
  
Quickly, Honoka pulled away from her and righted herself, smoothing her hair down.    
  
“Honoka?” Maki’s voice called as Eli straightened herself up on trembling legs. She quickly swiped her fingers over her neck as if to feel if she had any marks. “Huh, I’m sure she was here…”   
  
Honoka shot Eli a look of regret before she walked around the corner. “Hey, Maki-chan. What’s going on?”   
  
Maki did a double take as Honoka appeared, seemingly from out of nowhere. “Hey, what were you…” She trailed off for a moment as Eli followed Honoka out from around the corner. “Doing?”   
  
“N-Nothing?” Honoka stuttered uncertainly.    
  
Maki raised an eyebrow at the two of them but she was kept from speaking by the door opening behind her. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Kotori walk out and a hand came to rest on her shoulder a moment later.    
  
“You okay, Maki-chan?”   
  
Maki nodded. “Yeah, let’s um...stretch, Kotori.”   
  
Kotori frowned at Honoka as Maki walked a short distance away. Both Honoka and Eli were blushing and wouldn’t look at each other. That, combined with the mark on Eli’s neck and the way her shirt was pushed up a little made it clear what they had been doing. “You two need to be more careful. To think the former and current student council presidents are this reckless.”   
  
Honoka watched as Kotori walked over to Maki who was playing with her hat. When Maki saw Kotori approaching she bent to touch her feet and Honoka’s brow furrowed as Kotori’s hand came to rest lightly on Maki’s back. “Did something happen between those two? At least Maki-chan has stopped pining after me.”   
  
“You’re just noticing? They’ve been dating for two weeks now.” Eli said, raising an eyebrow.    
  
“Hey, I’m getting better!” Honoka pouted, drawing a soft laugh from Eli.    
  
“Maybe that’s because you’ve been with me.” Eli said, stepping closer to Honoka. She reached out, brushing her fingers against the back of Honoka’s hand. “You’re starting to see the cues better.”   
  
Honoka nodded and looked up in time to see Maki blush at the touch. The redhead straightened up to full height and playfully ruffled Kotori’s hair. Kotori blushed too before she grabbed Maki’s hat, putting it on her own head and stepping back with a laugh at the incredulous look on Maki’s face.    
  
“And she says we’re not subtle.” Honoka said thoughtfully.    
  
Eli cleared her throat. “They’re allowed to be obvious, Honoka. They’re dating.”   
  
“Ah right, sorry.” Honoka said awkwardly. “Um, are you still…” She trailed off, watching Maki pull Kotori rather uncharacteristically into a hug. “Um…”   
  
“Hey lovebirds, enough of that.” Nozomi quipped as she stepped out onto the roof.    
  
Maki flushed with embarrassment and quickly stepped away from Kotori who was still wearing her hat, giggling softly into her hand.    
  
Eli turned her attention to Honoka. “What were you going to ask?”   
  
“Oh, I was asking if you were still coming over to my house after practice.” Honoka answered hopefully as she looked up at Eli. “Maybe we could relax and watch a movie or something. No funny stuff, I promise.”   
  
“Hmm?” Eli stepped a bit closer so she was close enough for Honoka to feel her breath. “What if I like that kind of stuff?”   
  
“Ah, um…” Honoka spluttered nervously, unsure of what to say as she felt her cheeks warm. She vaguely heard Eli laugh at her and huffed under her breath. She was just trying to think of something to say when Eli pressed close to her, her chest pressing against her arm, causing all rational thought to fade.    
  
“Umi-chan!”   
  
Honoka snapped back to reality at Kotori’s loud exclamation. Quickly, she pulled away from Eli and turned to the doorway to greet Umi who had emerged onto the roof with Nico. “Hey, Umi-chan!”   
  
“H-Hey.” Umi replied with a small smile as she looked over at Honoka. She seemed torn as to whether or not to approach her but finally changed direction, pacing over to Kotori and Maki.    
  
Eli frowned and crossed her arms in front of her chest. That always happened when Umi showed up, it seemed.    
  
Nozomi sighed while Nico groaned, rolling her eyes at Honoka.    
  
“Eh? Umi-chan, wait for me!”    
  
Eli looked away as Honoka bound over to Umi, Kotori and Maki. Feeling a hand come to rest on her shoulder she looked up only to be greeted by a sympathetic look from Nozomi.   
  
\----   
  
Kotori sighed contentedly to herself as she ran her fingers through her sleeping girlfriend’s hair. Or at least she assumed that Maki was sleeping.    
  
“Wow.” Maki mumbled, startling Kotori slightly. “You’re good.”   
  
Kotori smirked at the comment. “Why thank you, you’re still the better kisser though. I could kiss you all day and not get bored.”   
  
Maki’s lips turned up slightly. “I love you.”   
  
“Huh?!”   
  
“A-Ah, I uh…” Maki felt her cheeks flood with warmth and quickly pulled the blankets over her head so that she wouldn’t have to look at Kotori and Kotori couldn’t see that she was blushing either. It was embarrassing, to say something like that. Even if she meant it.    
  
“No hiding!” Kotori exclaimed with a warm smile as she prodded the Maki shaped lump under the blankets.    
  
“My face is a tomato!” Maki pouted. Nevertheless she slid the blankets down so that only down to her nose was visible.    
  
Kotori couldn’t help but chuckle at Maki’s messy hair. “Tell me again.”

 

“I love you.” Maki repeated her words from a moment ago, forcing her voice to remain steady. “I love you.”   
  
Kotori beamed at the answer. “You finally said it…”   
  
“Shut up…” Maki mumbled, resisting the urge to dive back under the blankets.    
  
“I love you too, Maki-chan.” Kotori shifted closer, giving Maki a quick, gentle kiss. “You goof.”   
  
Maki closed her eyes again as Kotori lay down next to her, curling an arm around her waist. “Was there a reason you were so playful with me during practice today? Not that I’m complaining! I love that side of you, I just...wondered why.”   
  
“I needed to give Honoka-chan a clue. One that wasn’t too subtle but wasn’t obvious.” Kotori answered softly. “She still looks at you like...that sometimes. I guess I just wanted her to know it’s not okay.”   
  
“Your touch is distracting…”   
  
“You should be glad I had enough self-control not to go under your shirt. Especially when you stretched and it rode up…” Kotori mused, biting her lip at the thought.    
  
Maki scoffed softly. “That would have been terrible for my hormones.”   
  
“I know.” Kotori turned her head slightly, kissing Maki’s shoulder. “So you and Honoka…”   
  
“Are over.” Maki said quickly. “It was just a fling. I-I think I was just projecting my feelings for you onto her because I didn’t think we’d ever...feel the same way. And I guess I liked the attention.”   
  
“I’m the one you told about the fling though.” Kotori reasoned quietly. “I really wasn’t looking for this to happen, I really did just want to comfort you about that. I know Honoka-chan messed with your feelings.”   
  
“I know.” Maki said softly. “I’m glad it turned out this way though. I’m glad you finally asked me out. I thought I was reading the signals wrong, like I did with Honoka.”   
  
“Honoka-chan is being an ass right now.” Kotori said, a bit sharply. She felt Maki shift to look at her and looked up to see concern in Maki’s eyes. “Sorry, Maki-chan. It’s just...Umi-chan is in love with Honoka-chan. She has been for a long time now so it really pissed me off when the two of you…”   
  
“Sorry.” Maki said softly.    
  
“It’s not your fault, you didn’t know.” Kotori said quickly. She wasn’t blaming Maki by any means. “I just feel like...Honoka-chan is oblivious but she can’t not know, you know? And now Umi-chan thinks Honoka-chan likes Eli-chan.”   
  
“Um...she does.”   
  
Kotori gritted her teeth. “I know.”   
  
“I mean I’m not dumb.” Maki continued quietly, thinking back to what had happened on the roof. “They were making out on the roof before we went out. They couldn’t have been more obvious about it.”   
  
Kotori released an angry breath. “Honoka-chan is so dense sometimes. I just think...I like Eli-chan but I just think Umi-chan would be better for Honoka-chan. They’ve been friends for years and she knows Honoka-chan better than anyone.”   
  
“But is she attracted to her?” Maki asked pointedly.    
  
Kotori sighed. “Honoka-chan gives mixed signals about everything.”   
  
“Not with Eli. She obviously wants to be near her all of the time. She even seems to get jealous when Nozomi teases Eli.” Maki pointed out quietly. She hesitated to continue when Kotori merely glared at the ceiling. “Sor-”   
  
“Don’t say that word.” Kotori interjected quickly. “I’m just upset. I’m supposed to be Umi-chan’s right hand...woman and I failed miserably. I just hate that she’s so upset all of the time, especially when she sees those two together.”   
  
“Maybe you should help her find someone else.” Maki suggested with a slight shrug of her shoulders. “Maybe even someone in Muse.”   
  
“Like who?” Kotori scoffed. “Hanayo-chan?”   
  
“I was thinking Nico…”   
  
“Nico-chan?” Kotori echoed in surprise. “Nozomi-chan would be better with Nico-chan. Hanayo-chan wouldn’t work with Umi-chan and neither would Rin-chan so…”   
  
“Maybe someone outside of Muse then?” Maki asked thoughtfully. “What’s Umi’s type? Honoka?”   
  
“I guess.” Kotori said helplessly. “I’m not sure we’ll find someone similar to Honoka-chan though.”   
  
“There’s a girl in the music club Umi might be interested in but…” Maki trailed off, thinking about that.   
  
“What does she look like?” Kotori asked softly, adjusting herself in Maki’s light embrace.   
  
“Um...she has light pink hair and green eyes.” Maki said, her brow furrowing. “Oh and she’s  _ really _ good at singing. I think Umi would like her. She’s wild though, really wild. I think she’s a front girl for a band. She carries a guitar around all the time. We even played together once. She has a tattoo on her back of a treble clef.”   
  
Kotori grimaced. “What’s her name?”   
  
“Sakamoto Emi.” Maki answered. “But I think people called her Kuroneko. Because she had black hair before she dyed it. Her band is called Haruka Kakumei, but that’s all I know.”   
  
“She sounds...edgy.” Kotori said carefully. “Or at least like she  _ wants _ to be. Umi doesn’t really go for ‘edgy’ as a rule. You know I said like Honoka-chan, right? Not the opposite of her?”          
  
Maki pouted. “She’s not really edgy, she’s more more...rock than the rest of us. She has her own style. You should hear her sing, she’s amazing.”   
  
“Amazing, huh?” Kotori raised an eyebrow. “How amazing?”   
  
“She’s…” Maki trailed off at the look on Kotori’s face. “Come on, don’t be like that. It’s not...like that. I don’t like her. I mean she’s hot but…”   
  
Kotori scoffed slightly and sat up, running her fingers through her hair. “I don’t think she’s Umi’s type at all. It’s fine though, I’ll see what I can do. Besides Umi probably needs a bit of time, I don’t want to rush her into anything.”   
  
Maki’s brow furrowed in confusion. “But you were just saying…”   
  
“I changed my mind.” Kotori cut in with a shake of her head. “I don’t think this girl is right for Umi-chan.”   
  
Maki huffed out a sigh. “Just hear me out. She’s determined. Sweet and bubbly. She did the same thing Honoka did to me. Clapping when I was composing one of our songs. Constantly annoying me.”   
  
Kotori frowned. “It seems like Honoka and this girl have a lot in common when it comes to you.”   
  
“Wait, what?” Maki watched as Kotori slid out of bed. She scrambled across the bed before Kotori could move away, lightly grabbing her wrist. “What do you mean by that?”   
  
“Just that you seem to have a type.” Kotori tugged lightly at her wrist but Maki wouldn’t let go. She sighed heavily. “Maki-chan, I need to shower.”   
  
“We need to talk.” Maki argued, shaking her head. “Are you seriously jealous of her?”   
  
Kotori looked away, biting her lip.    
  
“I guess it must have really hurt you when I was with Honoka, huh?” Maki murmured, noticing the pained look that crossed Kotori’s face. “You weren’t just mad at Honoka because of Umi. I didn’t really know completely how I felt about you but you knew how you felt about me so...”   
  
Kotori hesitated and then gave a slight nod. “I’m not like them. I’m not...your type.”   
  
“There’s only one person who’s my type and that’s you.” Maki disagreed. She moved to her knees and reached up, tugging Kotori down into a tight embrace. “Trust me. I’m not looking at anyone but you now.”   
  
Kotori took a shuddering breath and nodded against Maki’s shoulder.    
  
\----   
  
There was a soft thump as Eli’s back met the mattress beneath her. Her shirt was open to show the blue bra she was wearing as well as a slight sheen of sweat to her skin as Honoka kissed and nipped at her collarbone. Her skirt was unzipped too, hanging from her hips slightly.    
  
Honoka fumbled for Eli’s right hand for a moment, finally managing to lace their fingers together and pin her hand to the pillow near Eli’s head.    
  
Eli gasped softly as Honoka sucked sharply at her skin. It stung slightly as Honoka’s teeth raked over her skin. For some reason it seemed like Honoka really liked to mark her.    
  
Honoka pulled back, straddling Eli’s waist and tugged at her tie with one hand to loosen it. Quickly, Eli reached up to help her take it off, tossing it to the side. Before Honoka could say anything, Eli seized the collar of Honoka’s shirt and dragged her down into a deep, needy kiss.    
  
Honoka’s hand slid between them, her fingers brushing against Eli’s panties. It was getting more and more tempting to just touch her. Like Eli wanted. That much was made obvious by the way Eli whimpered and arched into her touch.    
  
Honoka nipped at Eli’s lip and pulled back a bit, kissing her jaw instead. “You like that, huh?”   
  
Eli nodded quickly, unable to form words as Honoka’s fingers rubbed slowly. She hissed as a bit more pressure was applied.    
  
“Eli-senpai…”   
  
“Honoka, please just touch me.”    
  
Honoka tensed for a split second at the breathy plea. “Is it okay if it’s just…”   
  
Eli nodded without hearing the question. “Please.”   
  
Honoka took a slow breath before she focused her attention on her fingers. She didn’t know if she was doing it right but Eli’s soft whimpers and groans gave her the impression that she was.    
  
“Honoka.” Eli reached down at took Honoka’s hand. She slowly guided it under her panties and resituated Honoka’s fingers using her own. “Please.”   
  
Honoka was stunned by how warm and wet Eli felt. She swallowed convulsively for a moment, trying to force her brain back into gear again. Finally she reaffirmed herself and began to lightly rub, focusing on the softness under her fingertips.    
  
Eli withdrew her own hand, her eyes sliding shut as she arched her hips into Honoka’s touch. “Just like that, Honoka.” She whispered, her voice dripping with lust.    
  
Honoka briefly looked up at Eli’s face before she ducked her head down, kissing and licking at the blonde’s breasts. She couldn’t get enough of her. Of her taste and her smell, not to mention the subtle movement of Eli’s hips against her hand. Vaguely she wondered if Eli was used to this, if she had touched herself in the same way. Honoka hadn’t done that before, not really. But she could imagine Eli doing it. She growled at the mental images and pressed harder, her fingers moving faster. Enough to draw out a long moan from Eli.    
  
Eli clamped her hand over her mouth, mindful of the fact that Yukiho was in her room next door. She didn’t think Honoka’s parents would be able to hear them but Yukiho might. She focused intently on Honoka’s fingers. The girl was inexperienced but it didn’t feel like it. She wasn’t clumsy in the way that she touched her, which was odd on it’s own. Eli had imagined Honoka as a little clumsy but she was completely focused instead.    
  
Honoka paused suddenly and looked up at Eli. “Eli-senpai, c-can I um…” She pushed her fingers forward and Eli gasped, understanding what Honoka meant. Or at least she thought she did.    
  
“I-Inside? Yeah, if y-you want…”   
  
Honoka looked confused for a moment. “That’s not what I meant. But that too. If you don’t mind me t-taking your…”   
  
Eli quickly shook her head. “It’s fine, it’s yours.”   
  
Honoka smiled warmly up at Eli before she drew her hand away, much to the blonde’s disappointment. Hurriedly, she shuffled back and removed Eli’s skirt and panties before stilling.    
  
“Don’t stare.” Eli blushed.    
  
“S-Sorry. I can’t help it, I’ve never um…you shave?” Honoka trailed off with a shake of her head. She gently nudged Eli’s thighs apart and ran her fingers lightly over Eli’s core again. “This is...really hot. You’re really hot.”   
  
Eli was sure her face was bright red. She hadn’t imagined how embarrassing it would be to have someone look at her so intimately. Even if it was just Honoka. “Yeah?”   
  
“Yeah.” Honoka breathed out. “S-So I can um...put my fingers…?”   
  
“Yes!” Eli cried out, a bit louder than she’d intended. “J-Just please stop talking, Honoka.”   
  
Honoka stared at Eli for a moment before she broke into a grin. “Is Eli-senpai embarrassed?”   
  
Eli growled and grabbed Honoka by the shirt, tugging her close to her. “Just shut up and fuck me.” She demanded, pushing Honoka’s shirt off as well as she could Thankfully, Honoka helped her, tossing it to the side.   
  
Honoka leaned down and kissed Eli again, gently pressing her finger into her. Unable to focus, she drew her lips away from Eli’s, her brow furrowing slightly as she pressed harder. Her finger entered with ease and she felt Eli grasp at her back.    
  
“Another.” Eli whispered demandingly.    
  
Honoka nodded and withdrew her hand only to try to press into Eli with two fingers this time. It was a tight fit and she had to use more force. Hearing Eli wince, she stopped abruptly. “Senpai?”   
  
“I-It’s okay.” Eli said, sounding a bit pained. She gently rubbed Honoka’s back. “Keep going. I’m okay.”   
  
Honoka seemed to hesitate for a moment and Eli pressed her lips gently to her shoulder, hoping to calm her. Finally, Honoka began to press her fingers forward again and Eli gritted her teeth at the subtle ache of something being pressed into her. To distract herself, she allowed her hands to roam over Honoka’s back, down her hips to her skirt. “You can go faster, you know. It doesn’t hurt as much now.” There was a beat of silence during which Honoka didn’t move. “Is something wrong?”   
  
“I-I don’t want to hurt you at all.” Honoka confessed in a shaky whisper. She shifted, pressing her forehead to Eli’s. “Are you sure this is okay?”   
  
“Yeah.” Eli said back. “The faster you move, the more pleasure I’ll feel. It’s okay.”   
  
“If Eli-senpai says so…” Honoka kissed Eli, a fleeting, tender kiss before she began to move her fingers, slowly at first and then a bit faster.    
  
Eli groaned as Honoka sped up, every subtle movement sending a thrill of pleasure coursing through her. She grasped onto Honoka’s back, her nails digging into soft skin as she parted her legs slightly to give Honoka more room.    
  
As Honoka seemed to lose her inhibitions and began to thrust her fingers forward at a faster pace, Eli had to bite down on her lip to hold back her voice. It felt strange, to be filled in such a way. She had never really touched herself like that. But it felt beyond amazing when it was Honoka doing it. “Fuck, Honoka…” Eli whimpered, her nails raking down Honoka’s back.    
  
Honoka went back to sucking and biting at Eli’s collarbone as she pushed her fingers deeper. Her wrist was getting a bit sore from the odd angle but she didn’t care about that. Not when Eli was writhing beneath her, soft moans and whimpers spilling from her lips despite her best efforts to keep herself quiet.    
  
“H-Honoka, I-I’m gonna…” Eli gasped loudly and arched her back, her hips jerking against Honoka’s hand as she squeezed her eyes shut. She slumped back down onto the bed, breathing heavily.    
  
Honoka drew her fingers back as carefully as she could before she moved off Eli to lie down next to her. Curiously, she slipped her fingers into her mouth and sucked, her eyes widening slightly at the taste. It was a bit salty. But good. Looking at Eli who was sweaty and panting, she couldn’t help but wonder what it would be like to use her mouth on her directly.    
  
She quickly pulled the blankets over them and pressed close to Eli, wrapping an arm around her waist. “Was that okay?”   
  
Eli gave a laugh of disbelief. “That was more than okay. You’re amazing.”   
  
“I-I don’t know about that.” Honoka pressed her lips gently to Eli’s temple. “I love you, Eli-senpai. I’m...sorry if I hurt you.”   
  
“It’s okay.” Eli mumbled, closing her eyes. She tried to ignore the warmth that spread through her chest at Honoka’s declaration of love. “Let’s just sleep for a bit, okay?”   
  
“Okay.” Honoka whispered back, closing her own eyes. Soon enough, she drifted off to sleep herself.    
  
\----   
  
When Honoka woke up it took her a moment to realize that she wasn’t in her own bed with Eli. She was certainly in a bed and she could feel someone next to her. When she opened her eyes and turned to the left though she was surprised to see blue hair splayed across the pillow next to her.    
  
“Eeeh?!” She sat up abruptly and realized with a sinking feeling that Chika would be waking up in her body. “Kanan-chan...oh no. Oh my god, she better not screw with my relationship.”   
  
Kanan pushed herself into a sitting position and tilted her head. “Honoka, right?”   
  
“Wha...WHAT?!” Honoka scrambled up from the bed in alarm. “H-How did you…?”   
  
“Chika told me.” Kanan explained slowly. She watched as Honoka looked down at herself. “Don’t worry, she was just sleeping over. You certainly weren’t talking about Chika’s relationships, right?”   
  
“W-Wait…” Honoka held up a hand to stop Kanan. “So you know? H-How do you know? Why did Chika-chan tell you?”   
  
“Because I messed up. I kissed her.” Kanan explained sheepishly. She patted the bed next to her, silently suggesting Honoka sit down. Honoka did so, a bit reluctantly. “Though now that I think about it, I think I’m more attracted to you.”   
  
“Huh?” Honoka stared at Kanan, unable to quite process that. “W-Why…?”   
  
Kanan shrugged her shoulders in response. “I don’t know, I just...feel that way. You’re not Chika obviously so…” She shifted closer to Honoka, resting her hand lightly on her knee. “You’re attracted to me, right? You made that obvious on the boat.”   
  
“Uh…” Honoka wasn’t sure what to say. The way Kanan looked at her was similar to the way Eli looked at her. She remembered Eli, half undressed and disheveled underneath her. She wished she’d gotten to wake up next to Eli instead.    
  
Kanan chuckled and reached out to get her watch from the bedside table. “Chika has put your mind into the gutter alright. You were thinking about Ayase, huh?”   
  
Honoka sighed. “Don’t tease me, I’m not in the mood.”   
  
Kanan wasn’t about to be dissuaded. “So is she your girlfriend?”   
  
“I don’t think so.” Honoka answered quietly though when she considered the fact that Chika might be touching Eli, she felt white hot anger prickle at her skin. “How do you expect me to be in a relationship with everything that’s happening with Chika-chan? I’ll be lucky if Eli is still speaking to me when I get back…”   
  
“Hopefully Chika’s behaving as you. She must be used to it by now, right?” Kanan asked with a shrug of her shoulders. She somehow felt like she was missing something.    
  
“I doubt it. Chika-chan is terrible with Eli-senpai.” Honoka muttered, lying down with a sigh. She stared up at the ceiling, frowning. “Hopefully Nozomi-chan is keeping her on a tight leash. Knowing Eli-senpai, she would have told Nozomi-chan about last night. She tells her everything.”   
  
It was clear that Honoka was talking out loud, trying to calm herself but Kanan was curious. She reached across to pick up the glass of water on her nightstand. “What happened last night?”   
  
Honoka looked over, a cautious look on her face. She thought about it for a moment then answered. “I took her virginity.”   
  
Kanan was glad she’d swallowed the water in her mouth, otherwise she probably would have spat it out in shock. “W-What?!”   
  
Honoka blushed at Kanan’s evident shock. “She wanted it, I was...I made sure she was sure about it first obviously.”   
  
“Huh…” Kanan mused thoughtfully. Despite herself, unwanted images filled her mind. “That’s kind of hot.”   
  
Honoka groaned and covered her eyes with her arm. Why couldn’t anything just be simple?   
  
\----   
  
Chika woke to the familiar feeling that she wasn’t in her own bed. That much wasn’t unexpected, considering she had fallen asleep at Kanan’s house but even without opening her eyes she could tell that wasn’t where she was.    
  
She felt a breeze on her chest, like she wasn’t wearing a shirt. Slowly, she opened her eyes and looked down, a sharp gasp escaping her lips when she noticed she actually wasn’t wearing a shirt. She noticed Eli lying next to her and something worrying occurred to her. She threw off the blankets and almost breathed a sigh of relief when she noticed she was still wearing a skirt. Her relief was short lived though when she noticed Eli on the other hand, was not wearing a skirt. Or panties.    
  
She yelped in surprise and clamped one hand quickly over her eyes. She definitely hadn’t needed to see any of that. Quickly, she scrambled off the bed and grabbed her shirt off the floor. She tugged it on, not bothering to button it. Vaguely hearing Eli stir behind her she took off to the bathroom, grabbing her bag on the way.    
  
“Why does this always happen?” She mumbled as she locked the door behind her. She went through her bag, emerging with Honoka’s cell phone. “I need to call Nozomi. Damn it, I’m not ready for this…”   
  
She quickly called Nozomi’s number, not pausing to really reflect on the fact that Nozomi wouldn’t really understand the situation.    
  
“Honoka-chan? It’s seven in the morning, why are you…?”   
  
“Chika.” Chika interrupted.    
  
There was a moment of silence on the other end of the line before Nozomi spoke again. “Oh fuck, what did you do?”   
  
“I didn’t do anything!” Chika exclaimed loudly only to quieten after a moment. “They did! I had to wake up to this! Are they together? Why did this even happen?!” She heard Nozomi curse again though she didn’t quite catch what she was saying. “Nozomi-chan!”   
  
“Yeah, yeah. I’m here. I know.” Nozomi seemed to take a deep breath. “Listen, you’re not going to screw this up, Chika-chan. Honoka-chan will be so pissed if you do anything to hurt Elichi. And I will be too. You just have to keep your cool and go along with it. It’s…”   
  
“What do you want me to do? Sleep with her?!” Chika hissed, more than a little upset and frustrated by the situation.    
  
“I mean if you have to…“   
  
“Nozomi!” Chika resisted the urge to throw the phone in her hand against the wall. Usually she wasn’t the type of person to get annoyed so easily but Nozomi wasn’t taking her seriously and the situation was infuriating. Not to mention the fact that she was annoyed at Honoka’s thoughtlessness. Honoka could have at least told Eli to leave before she fell asleep, in case this exact situation happened.    
  
“It’s too early for this…” Nozomi mumbled. She sighed heavily before she replied. “You don’t have to sleep with her. Just get your ass back in there, kiss her good morning and…”   
  
“I’m not kissing her.”   
  
“ _ Chika-chan _ !” Nozomi exclaimed, feeling a headache coming on. “You’re really not making this easy. If it was anyone else you wouldn’t have a problem kissing them, would you? You’ve kissed Maki-chan before, I’m sure you would kiss Umi-chan. Kotori-chan too probably.”   
  
“I don’t make  _ her _ kiss people she doesn’t want to kiss when she’s in my body!” Chika pointed out hurriedly. “I only kissed Maki-chan because I want to a-and now I know  _ why _ I kissed Maki-chan, I don’t  _ want _ to kiss anyone besides…”   
  
Chika trailed off and Nozomi sighed, assuming she was going to say she only wanted to kiss Maki. This was a mess. “Chika, listen. I’m going to be honest with you.” She paused briefly, hearing a hum of acknowledgement from Chika. “Elichi is in love with Honoka-chan. And Honoka-chan really likes her, okay? I know that most of us are just idols to you, you don’t even spend much time with Elichi so it’s not like you know her. Not really.”   
  
Chika clutched the phone tightly, waiting for Nozomi to continue as she paused.    
  
“So I can’t expect you to care about her or how she feels.” Nozomi finally continued, her voice soft. It calmed Chika a little bit at least. “I know this is a really...crappy situation. And I’m sorry you can’t be with the person you like. Maybe because of whatever Honoka is doing, I don’t know. I know you’re pissed at her for whatever she’s screwing up in your life. Like you almost screwed up her relationship with Maki-chan. But I think you care about her deep down. And we’re friends too, right? So if you’re not going to do this for Elichi or for Honoka, do it for me. Please. I don’t want Elichi to get hurt. She’s a good person. You would really like her if you got to know her.”   
  
Chika wasn’t sure what to say to that. It stung that Nozomi was pleading with her. She didn’t want to upset Nozomi, of all people. “I-I’m sorry, Nozomi-chan. I have to go.”   
  
“Chika, wait!” Nozomi exclaimed quickly. There was a beat of silence. “I’m coming over, okay? All you have to do is keep calm until I get there.”   
  
“Okay.” Chika said quietly. She hung up without another word.    
  
“It’ll be okay.” She mumbled to herself as she sat down on the edge of the bathtub. “All you have to do is hide out in here until Nozomi gets here. Hopefully Eli-chan sleeps late. You can’t mess anything up in here.”   
  
True to her luck, not even twenty minutes later there was a light knock at the door, followed by Eli’s voice. “Honoka? Are you okay?”   
  
“Shit.” Chika breathed out. She sat up straighter and called back to Eli. “I-I’m fine, I’m just washing up. I’ll only be a couple of minutes.”   
  
“Can I come in?” The door handle turned and Chika felt her chest seize with panic before she remembered it was locked. “I’m worried. You’ve been in there for at least fifteen minutes already.”   
  
“Yeah, I um...just felt a bit sick?” Chika attempted, cringing at how unbelievable it sounded after. She took a deep breath to brace herself before she went to the door, unlocking it.    
  
“Hey.” Eli said softly, a tentative smile tugging at her lips.    
  
“Um…” Chika took a moment to look at Eli. The girl was wearing her hair down for a change. Chika assumed it was because she had just woken up. With her hands nervously clasped in front of her, Eli looked nothing short of shy. Vulnerable even. Chika was glad to see the blonde was wearing shorts now. Honoka’s, it seemed. “Hey.”   
  
“Um…” Eli fidgeted with her hands, trying not to look at Honoka’s chest, given that her shirt was open. “About last night, do you...regret it? I’m sorry if I was pushy o-or something. I just feel like you’re different this morning so maybe I did something wrong.”   
  
Chika swallowed thickly. In that moment Eli looked nothing like Ayase Eli, the cool, confident idol. She looked hesitant, worried and guilty. “No, you’re fine. You...you didn’t do anything wrong. I don’t regret it.”   
  
Eli bit her lip as she looked over Honoka’s shoulder. “Is that why you’ve been hiding out in the bathroom?” She noticed the look of surprise on Honoka’s face and continued quickly. “Um...I woke up when you got up. I was waiting for you to come back to bed but...Honoka, if I did something wrong I want to know. I know you’re not...there yet but I love you. I love you so much and I don’t want to hurt you or…”   
  
Chika closed the distance between them and wrapped her arms around Eli, hugging her tightly. It hurt to hear the hurt tone of Eli’s voice. It hurt more knowing it was her fault. She took a shuddering breath. Her chest ached and she wondered whether the feeling was hers alone or whether Honoka’s body was reacting on it’s own. “I don’t regret anything. I wanted it, I wanted you. I really like you, Eli-chan. I...I want this, I promise.”   
  
“Eli-chan?” Eli echoed uncertainly.    
  
Chika cursed herself for the slip. Of course she would do that if she was focusing on something else. “Ah, um...just trying it out. If we’re going to be sleeping together, it might be weird for me to call you Senpai, right? Or I could um...just call you Eli.”   
  
Eli blushed at the proposition. She wondered if that meant Honoka was getting closer to being in a more mature relationship with her. She drew back slightly to look into Honoka’s eyes. “Just Eli?”   
  
Chika wished she could rewind the past thirty seconds. “S-Sure. I-If you’re okay with that?”   
  
“Um…” Eli smiled sheepishly and rubbed the back of her neck. “Well I guess it would be weird if you called me Eli-senpai forever. Especially if you eventually agree to date me.”   
  
“We’re  _ not _ dating?!”   
  
Eli blinked at Honoka. “Uh...no? Remember, you said it was because you’re attracted to more people than just me. Umi, Riko and Kanan, right? So you don’t know if this is really...something you want to commit to.”   
  
Chika twitched. So Honoka really was attracted to Kanan. The mention of Riko had a sickening jealousy forming in her stomach though. “W-We should be dating! You and me, we’re...we work well together, don’t we? So we should. If you want to.”

 

Eli gaped at Honoka, shocked by the admission. “Um...o-of course I do. I mean yes. I’ll date you.” She beamed at Honoka and leaned in to kiss her only for her to stop her with a hand on her chest.    
  
“Oh, no kissing though. I haven’t brushed my teeth yet.” Chika explained quickly.    
  
“Fine, fine.” Eli smiled softly and stepped forward, leaning in to kiss Honoka’s forehead.    
  
“Eli?” Chika reached up and grasped the front of Eli’s shirt as the blonde tried to pull away from her. “You don’t mind if I keep calling you Eli-senpai for a while, right?”   
  
“No.” Eli laughed softly. “I don’t mind.”   
  
\----   
  
Honoka was beyond relieved when she woke up in her own bed. Unfortunately Eli wasn’t next to her. She had been hoping to see her before school. A quick glance at her alarm clock let her know that it was still early though. Her alarm wouldn’t even be going off for another hour.    
  
Fuelled by her urgency she got dressed into her school uniform as quickly as she could before she grabbed her bag and phone and bound downstairs. Her parents were awake, having had to open the shop up but Honoka barely paused to say goodbye before she was out of the door, rushing off down the street.    
  
Having not been to Eli’s house all that often, she got lost several times on the way but stumbled upon a local bakery where she bought some bread for herself, taking advantage of the fact that Umi wasn’t there to scold her, and a chocolate pastry she figured Eli would like.    
  
Finally after almost an hour she found herself standing outside of Eli’s house. She sent a quick text to Umi and Kotori, telling them to go on ahead without her because she was going to school early before she resigned herself to waiting.    
  
Resigning herself to waiting because she didn’t want to intrude on Eli’s morning, she passed the time by eating the bread she’d bought while she read over Chika’s message about her day yesterday and replying to Kotori’s confused texts. Thankfully it seemed it was normal for Eli to leave the house early too as she emerged after about ten minutes.    
  
“Good morning, Eli-senpai!” Honoka exclaimed as Eli paused to stare at her in surprise. She went to meet the blonde, kissing her briefly without thought.    
  
Arisa, who was behind Eli, gaped at the two of them.    
  
“H-Honoka, what are you doing here?” Eli stuttered in surprise. “And why are you...kissing me?”   
  
“I can’t kiss my beautiful girlfriend good morning?” Honoka pouted. She glanced over Arisa’s shoulder. “Hi Arisa-chan.”   
  
“H-Hi.” Arisa said, still a bit shellshocked by what she’d seen. “I-I have to go ahead to school! Bye Onee-chan!”   
  
“Um...bye.” Eli watched as Arisa hurried on ahead, probably to meet Yukiho so they could talk about she’d just seen.    
  
“We are...dating now, right?” Honoka checked uncertainly. That was what Chika had said in her message but she had expected more of a reaction from Eli. “I thought that was what you wanted?”   
  
“I do! Of course I do!” Eli finally seemed to realize what was going on. “I’m sorry, it’s just really early and I wasn’t expecting you to be here.”   
  
“Well I wanted to walk to school with you.” Honoka said with a slight shrug. “Here, I got you something too. It’s chocolate.”   
  
“Thank you.” Eli smiled as Honoka pushed a paper bag into her hands. “Let’s go then.”   
  
Honoka nodded and they started walking down the street together, a slight spring in their step.    
  
“Does this mean I can hold your hand whenever I want?” Honoka checked hopefully.    
  
“Of course.” Eli smiled as Honoka immediately took her hand, lacing their fingers together. She gave a slight squeeze back, feeling more content than she had in some time.    
  
TBC.    



	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here’s the next chapter of ANITW, hope you guys enjoy.
> 
> Just a reminder: The next few chapters will be very relationship based because I want to flesh them out a bit and to be honest, I’m not in a hurry to get straight to the point and finish the fic. I would rather write a LOT of stuff that I want to write, that I feel people would like reading and that I feel fits in here - such as confusion between Chika and Honoka about Honoka’s relationship with Eli, side ships like KotoMaki etc - than brush all that aside to get right to the point. If that makes sense?
> 
> Warning: Some sexual scenes.

Chika sighed as she shifted restlessly. It was late but she couldn’t sleep. She couldn’t stop thinking about Honoka, specifically Honoka and Eli. It was strange to be temporarily in a relationship as Honoka. While it still made her uncomfortable to have to go along with it, she had done much better on her last switch with Honoka. She could only hope that Honoka wasn’t upset with her for agreeing to date Eli.    
  
Finally she heaved a sigh and slipped out of bed. Hoping some fresh air would help her clear her mind she padded over to her balcony doors and upon opening them stepped out. She was surprised to look across to the house opposite and find Riko’s light still on. She hadn’t considered Riko to be a night owl.    
  
“Riko-chan!” She called in a whisper. She paused for a moment then repeated herself, a little louder. “Riko-chan!”   
  
Thankfully Riko’s balcony door had been slightly ajar so she heard Chika calling and appeared a moment later. “Chika-chan? Why are you still awake?”   
  
“I could ask you the same thing.” Chika said with a hint of a smile. She relented though, answering Riko’s question. “I just feel restless. I can’t stop thinking.”   
  
“Yeah, me too.” Riko confided quietly. “What are you thinking about?”   
  
“Uh…” Chika hesitated for a moment. She was thinking about several things if she was honest. “I was thinking about how we still got a zero, even after the work we all put in.”   
  
“You know that wasn’t your fault though.” Riko sounded strangely firm when she said that, like she was warning Chika not to disagree with her. “And we’ll keep going. We’ll keep trying.”   
  
“I know.” Chika said quietly, comforted by Riko’s words. Her gaze lingered on the girl who’d somehow ambled her way into her life and her heart so quickly. “Hey, Riko-chan? There’s...something else I was thinking about.”   
  
Riko leaned forward a little, bracing herself with her arms against the edge of the balcony. “What is it?”   
  
“I’ve been thinking a lot about...us.” Chika said carefully, her stomach churning with nerves at the thought of what she was about to say. “And how we’ve...well how I feel like we’ve gotten so close since we met. It hasn’t been all that long. But I feel like it’s been a lot longer. I feel like I’ve known you forever, that I could tell you anything.”   
  
“You can.” Riko smiled warmly at the sentiment. “I feel the same way about you.”   
  
“You do?” Chika asked hopefully. She was sure that was a good sign that Riko returned her feelings.    
  
“Of course. I was so glad you confided in me about your…” Riko paused for a moment, looking a little pained. “Feelings for Ayase Eli.”   
  
“Wait, what?” Chika’s stomach plummeted, like the ground had been pulled out from under her. “No, I…”   
  
“Well not Ayase Eli, I know that.” Riko gave a soft laugh at the astounded look on Chika’s face. “But the blonde you have feelings for, remember? You said Kanan-chan reminds you of her and that’s why you were checking her out.”   
  
Chika gaped at Riko, unable to do anything else. Her plan to confess to her had all but failed and she wasn’t sure what to say now. She swallowed thickly, trying to calm herself. Maybe it was just a misunderstanding. Maybe she could fix it. “Do you...have feelings for anyone?”   
  
Riko considered that for a moment. As much as she wanted to tell the truth she didn’t want to make things confusing for Chika. It pained her to have to hide her real feelings and watch Chika fall for someone else but it was the only thing she could do. “No.” She finally lied. She noticed the crushed look on Chika’s face and hastened to reaffirm her statement. Maybe Chika had been able to see right through her. “R-Really! I’m not lying, I-I don’t like anyone else like that.”   
  
Chika was too upset to catch Riko’s careful wording. “I-I um...I have to go. I should be getting some sleep. We have a busy day tomorrow, right?”   
  
Riko frowned, noticing the tremble in Chika’s words. Maybe she did know the truth after all. “Chika-chan…”   
  
“Goodnight, Riko-chan!” Fighting back tears, Chika turned and hurried back into her bedroom, closing the balcony door behind her. Climbing into her bed, she couldn’t resist the urge to reach for her cell phone and call a familiar number.    
  
“Hello?” Kanan’s voice sounded groggy when she answered after a few long rings. “Chika? What’s wrong?”   
  
Chika pulled her knees to her chest and opened her mouth but she couldn’t speak past the lump in her throat.    
  
“Chika!” Kanan sounded a lot more awake now. Worried even. “Where are you? Should I come and get you?”   
  
Chika barely managed to choke bag a sob. “No.” She answered, her voice thick with emotion. “I-I don’t know what to do. I thought...I thought Riko-chan liked me back but she thinks I like someone else and she doesn’t...”   
  
“Okay. It’s okay.” Kanan soothed quietly as Chika trailed off. “I’ll fix this, Chika. It’s going to be okay, I promise.”   
  
“How?!” Chika choked out incredulously. “She doesn’t love me, Kanan-chan! She doesn’t even  _ see _ me like that!”   
  
There was a moment of silence before Kanan spoke again. “I’m coming over. Wait for me, okay?”   
  
Chika made a sound of acknowledgement before she heard Kanan end the call. She wasn’t sure how long she waited, pacing her room restlessly before she heard a clatter outside. She went back to her balcony, spotting Kanan climbing up to it. Typical of her, she thought. When Kanan was in touching distance, Chika reached down to help her up. Not that Kanan really needed any help.    
  
Once Kanan was on the balcony, Chika tugged her into her bedroom, closing the balcony door behind her. Before Kanan could say anything, Chika stepped forward and kissed her, backing her up against the door.    
  
Kanan’s eyes went wide with surprise, only briefly before she melted into the distracting kiss. It was Chika. She couldn’t not kiss her back. She tried to take control of the kiss, setting the pace but it seemed Chika had other ideas. She pressed herself flush against Kanan, her hands cupping the girl’s face as she deepened the kiss.    
  
Feeling the dampness of tears on Chika’s cheeks, Kanan turned her head away to break the kiss. “Ch-Chika, maybe we should...”   
  
“Just kiss me. Please.” Chika pleaded, turning Kanan’s head. She kissed her again and Kanan didn’t fail to give as good as she was getting this time. As she slipped her tongue past soft lips, she barely noticed Chika guiding her to the bed until she stumbled down onto it, Chika going with her. They landed heavily but neither dwelled on it for too long.    
  
Chika couldn’t help but notice that kissing Kanan felt a lot better than it had the first time. Maybe because she was more in control or maybe because Kanan was more compliant. Her hand dipped briefly under Kanan’s sleeveless purple sweatshirt to brush against her toned abdomen.    
  
“More.” She growled, feeling Kanan nip at her lower lip.    
  
Kanan flipped them over and pushed herself to her knees, her hands going to her sweatshirt. Watching Chika intently, she tugged it up and off, watching her friend’s eyes go wide. “Too much?”   
  
Chika silently shook her head though she still looked a little dumbfounded as she stared at Kanan’s chest.    
  
“Nobody sleeps with a bra on, Chika.” Kanan said with a fond roll of her eyes. “And I didn’t really stop to put one on. I was kind of in a hurry to get here.”   
  
Chika felt her chest ache at the look Kanan was giving her. She spurred herself into action before she could dwell on the unsettling idea of how Kanan felt about her. Reaching up, she wrapped her arm around Kanan’s neck and dragged her down into a rough kiss, using her other hand to tentatively cup Kanan’s breast. She felt a slight intake of breath and took that as a good sign, letting her fingers map out unfamiliar skin.    
  
Kanan felt Chika’s lips slow against her own then felt a tug as her hair was pulled out of the bun she’d hastened to put it in. She pulled away, looking down at Chika. “Chika…?”   
  
“Thank you.” Chika said softly, trying to ignore the guilt that niggled at her. “I-I’m sorry. I just really needed you.”   
  
Kanan let Chika pulled her into a tight hug and carefully returned the embrace. “You always have me.” She whispered before gently kissing Chika’s neck.   
  
In the opposite house, Riko took a shuddering breath as she stepped away from her balcony door. Maybe Chika couldn’t tell her everything after all.    
  
\----   
  
Chika woke to the feeling of arms wrapped around her and unconsciously pressed herself closer to the person next to her, remembering that she had fallen asleep with Kanan the previous night.    
  
“Morning…”   
  
Chika’s eyes snapped open at the unfamiliar voice and she looked up sharply, finding soft blue eyes staring down at her. “Uh…g-good morning.” She pulled away slowly, forcing herself to stay calm and for the first time she noticed that she wasn’t dressed. She was completely naked in fact. She winced and quickly yanked the covers over herself only to pull them off of Eli. She quickly averted her eyes. “Sorry!”   
  
“What’s wrong?” Eli asked, slightly amused. “You certainly weren’t shy last night.”   
  
Kanan would have said the same thing, Chika thought. She gave an awkward laugh and shrugged her shoulders. “Being naked in front of each other is still really weird.”   
  
“Maybe we should make it less weird then…” Eli moved closer to Honoka and leaned down, brushing her lips against her girlfriend’s.    
  
“No!” Chika yelped and jumped up from the bed. Quickly readjusting the blanket so it was wrapped around her. “I-I uh...I have to brush my teeth before I kiss you.”   
  
Eli sighed, her shoulders slumping slightly. “So it’s going to be one of those days.”   
  
“What is that meant to…?” Chika trailed off before she could finish voicing her question. “I-I have to get ready for school. Maybe you should too. Wait, why are you staying over on a school night?”   
  
“I brought my uniform here.” Eli said slowly. She couldn’t help but notice that Honoka was still refusing to look at her. “My parents were out of town for the weekend so your mom said I could stay here with Arisa, remember?”   
  
“Arisa…” Chika echoed slowly, narrowing her eyes.    
  
“Yeah, my sister. She’s friends with Yukiho?” Eli stared at Honoka who looked nothing short of baffled for a moment. “Look, I’m not going to complain. You better kiss me tomorrow though. Geez, these off days Nozomi was telling me about make me think you’re a different person altogether. You couldn’t keep your hands off me yesterday and now you won’t even look at me.”   
  
“Uh…” Chika wasn’t sure what to say to that. “Oh um Umi-chan and Kotori-chan will be waiting. I should get changed so I’m not late.”   
  
Eli watched Honoka as she grabbed her uniform and made a dash for the bathroom. She really didn’t understand her at times. Honoka had never been so hot and cold with her before but it seemed like something had changed.    
  
Sighing she got up and dressed while Honoka was in the bathroom. By the time Honoka reemerged, Eli was sitting at the bottom of the bed, fully dressed.    
  
“Oh you’re dressed.” Chika said, relieved by that at least. “Do you want to walk to school with us or do you need to go and meet Nozomi-chan?”   
  
“Actually I texted Nozomi and she said that she’s waiting for Nico. And Kotori isn’t coming, you told me that yesterday. She’s walking with Maki.” Eli disagreed quietly. “So it’s just going to be Umi.”   
  
“Right...wait, why is Kotori-chan with Maki-chan?” Chika frowned, a hint of jealousy welling up in her chest at the thought. “She always walks to school with me.”   
  
“Um...because they’re dating?” Eli asked uncertainly. “And Kotori spent the night at Maki’s house.”   
  
Chika gritted her teeth at the thought. First the possibility of being with Riko was taken from her and now Maki was with someone else “W-Wait so they’re doing it too?”   
  
“Yeah, I guess.” Eli shrugged her shoulder. “Because they’re girlfriends.”   
  
“Ugh, why is everyone having sex?” Chika mumbled as she crossed to her dresser. She gave her hair a quick brush, neglecting to tie it up the way Honoka usually did.    
  
“Because they’ve been dating for over three weeks and Kotori is a gentlewoman to her girl.” Eli answered, watching Honoka closely. The decision to leave her hair down didn’t go unnoticed. “They only started doing it last week. When you took my vir…”   
  
Chika yelped and quickly turned around, throwing her hands up. “Okay, okay. I get it. You don’t need to say it.”   
  
Eli tilted her head. “We were saying a lot worse last night. Do we need to talk about anything or…?”   
  
“Nothing!” Chika squeaked, remembering what Honoka had said about upsetting Eli. She had to admit a tiny part of her didn’t care. She didn’t want to hurt Eli or Honoka but Honoka had hurt her. Had ruined her chances with Riko. If she’d ever had any at all. “I’m going downstairs, I don’t want to keep Umi-chan waiting.”   
  
As Honoka rushed out of the room, Eli got up with a sigh and silently followed her downstairs, grabbing both of their book bags on the way out of the door. She slung both over her shoulder as she walked down the stairs, briefly greeting Honoka’s dad, Yukiho and Arisa before she followed Honoka out of the shop.    
  
She found Honoka talking quietly to Umi and approached the two of them. “Hey, Umi.”   
  
“Good morning.” Umi said with a tentative smile. She wasn’t taken off guard by the fact that Eli was there, given that Honoka had warned her the previous night that Eli would be walking to school with them but it still unsettled her a little to see them leaving Honoka’s house together. “We should get going before we’re late.”   
  
“Right!” Chika exclaimed brightly, telling herself she would be fine if she stuck with Umi for the day. And Kotori, when Honoka’s other best friend made an appearance.    
  
Eli watched as Honoka and Umi walked on ahead, leaving her to trail behind them. As she followed them, she sent a quick text to Nozomi to tell her that Honoka was acting weird again. Her phone lit up with a reply a moment later.    
  
‘Don’t worry, I’ll straighten her out.’   
  
Eli was left to wonder what that meant until Honoka’s phone rang, ending her conversation with Umi.    
  
“Hey, Nozomi-chan…” Eli watched as Honoka winced and walked on ahead of Umi, her face flushing. “I get it, okay?! I’m not doing it on purpose but…”   
  
Umi glanced back at Eli in confusion as Honoka moved out of earshot. Eli shrugged in response.    
  
\----   
  
Nico watched in fascination as Nozomi stormed slightly ahead of her, arguing with Honoka on the phone. Nozomi’s cheeks were flushed, a clearly annoyed look on her face. It wasn’t often that she got to see Nozomi so flustered. It hardly ever happened in fact so she couldn’t help but eavesdrop now even though she knew she really shouldn’t be.    
  
She raised an eyebrow as Nozomi hung up the phone with a disgruntled growl. “Is everything okay?”   
  
“She’s a fucking brat sometimes.” Nozomi muttered in annoyance as she shoved her cell phone back into her pocket. She fell back into step with Nico.    
  
“Who’s a brat?” Nico asked. She rolled her eyes when Nozomi didn’t answer her. “Seriously are you ever going to tell me what’s going on with Honoka? It’s like she has a split personality.”   
  
Nozomi heaved a sigh. “That’s pretty much the case.”   
  
“Okay, start explaining.” Nico grabbed Nozomi’s sleeve and drew her to a halt. “I know I make fun of you about this spiritual crap but this seems dead serious. What’s going on? It seems like something is screwing with her. And her relationships…”   
  
Nozomi gave a soft chuckle. “Always the observer, hm Nicocchi?”   
  
“Hey I may not be book smart but I’m street smart. I’ve got fucking eyes.” Nico said firmly though she didn’t look especially annoyed. “Just tell me. What’s going on?”   
  
Nozomi took a deep breath. “Honoka-chan keeps switching bodies with another girl. Chika-chan. That’s why she seems different a lot of the time. And that’s what’s messing with her relationships. Chika-chan doesn’t like Elichi but she does like Maki-chan. Oh and she’s actually from a different time. In her time we’re around twenty.”   
  
“Huh…” Nico was silent for a few seconds, taking that in. “So that’s why Honoka and Maki were together for a while. That makes more sense now. And I guess that’s what woke Honoka’s sex drive?”   
  
“Kind of. I would say that was mostly Elichi.” Nozomi said with a shrug of her shoulders. Mindful of the time, she started walking again, Nico tagging along next to her.    
  
“So you like arguing with...Chika, huh?”    
  
“Huh?” Nozomi glanced at Nico, finding her smirking. “Get your mind out of the gutter, Nicocchi. It’s definitely not like that.”   
  
“If you say so.” Nico teased, earning herself a disgruntled look from Nozomi. “Or maybe it’s Honoka you’re jealous of, hmm?”   
  
Nozomi step faltered for a split second, her face falling at the playful accusation. “You have a wild imagination, Nicocchi.” She ruffled Nico’s hair to distract her, mindful of how much Nico hated people messing with her hair.    
  
“Don’t touch my hair, damn i…” Nico trailed as as Nozomi ran ahead, laughing to herself. “Hey! Get back here!”   
  
\-----   
  
Umi cautiously glanced over at Honoka who seemed to be engrossed in the form she was reading over. It was from another music club, Umi had noticed, but even that wouldn’t usually have been enough to keep Honoka interested. “Honoka?”   
  
“Hmm?” Chika looked up in response, surprising even herself with how quickly she responded to that name. It wasn’t her own, after all. It almost felt like it was now though.    
  
“We can talk if you want to.” Umi said, setting her pen aside for the moment. “If there’s something on your mind. You don’t seem like yourself today.”   
  
Chika almost laughed at that. She supposed she wasn’t doing a very good job of blending in as Honoka. “I’m sorry, Umi-chan.” She sat back and stretched wearily. She wished she could just go back to being herself. “I’m just thinking about...a lot of things. Everything’s fine though. I’m fine, I promise.”   
  
Umi bit her lip, a little troubled by the response. It wasn’t reassuring at all, even if Honoka meant it to be. “Talk to me then.” She tentatively reached out and grasped Honoka’s hand. “Maybe I can help. With what you’re thinking about.”   
  
Chika bit her lip and glanced over at Umi. She supposed it wouldn’t hurt to talk to her. It seemed that Honoka talked to her friends about personal things. Like who she liked. “I’m um...confused. About relationship stuff. I-I haven’t been doing this for long and...well I like someone. I like them a lot and I’ve only just realized recently.”   
  
Umi nodded, listening intently.    
  
“But there’s this other girl who likes me, I think. A lot.” Chika said nervously as she turned toward Umi. “And I’ve kissed this other girl...and stuff. But I don’t like her like that. And I don’t want to hurt her by leading her on.”   
  
Umi did her utmost to try to understand but she couldn’t. Not really. “Aren’t you...dating Eli?”   
  
Chika groaned at that and turned back to the table, folding her arms atop it and burying her face in them. She hadn’t thought Umi would know that. She’d thought Honoka would keep it a secret for at least a few weeks. “I don’t know. I don’t know what I’m doing.”   
  
Umi wasn’t sure what to do so she settled for reaching out to gently rub Honoka’s back in an attempt to soothe her. She hated seeing her best friend so troubled. “I just don’t know what’s going on with you lately. You’ve been so...unpredictable.”   
  
Chika sighed and lifted her head. “Would you believe me if I said I’m not Honoka? I’m another girl from the future stuck inside of her body. And she’s stuck inside of mine. Sometimes at least. We switch…”   
  
“Ehhh?!” Umi’s eyes widened in surprise for a moment. She was silent for a minute or so after, merely staring at Chika. “Actually, I-I think that would explain a lot. So you’re…?”   
  
“Takami Chika.” Chika said softly. “I’m a second year and a school idol, like...you and Honoka-chan. I actually became a school idol because of you. Muse, that is.”   
  
Umi nodded slowly. It was a lot to take in. “So your relationship problems…”   
  
“I like my best friend, Riko-chan.” Chika admitted quietly. “But Honoka-chan told her I’m interested in someone else. A blonde.”   
  
“Eli.” Umi concluded with a slight wince. It was just like Honoka to talk herself into a problem like that.    
  
“I don’t like Eli-chan.” Chika scowled, angry all over again at the fact that Honoka had gotten in the way of her being with Riko. “I don’t want to have to pretend to like her. She’s nice but I don’t want to have to kiss her.”   
  
Umi frowned at the comment. She supposed it must be difficult for Chika to have to show interest in someone she didn’t really like. “You have to though..”   
  
“I’d rather kiss you.” Chika watched as Umi blushed. “Sorry, I just mean...you look like Riko-chan, a little bit. You both have really pretty eyes.”   
  
“Chika…” Umi murmured awkwardly though she couldn’t deny she was flattered. Especially hearing that in Honoka’s voice.    
  
“I think Honoka-chan is an idiot. For not seeing you.” Chika said honestly. She gave the hand still holding her own a light squeeze. “You’re always there for her. But she doesn’t see you. Or how you feel about her.”   
  
Umi looked back at Chika in surprise. “Y-You know?”   
  
“Of course I know.” Chika whispered, her brow furrowing slightly. “I’m not blind. Or oblivious like Honoka-chan. It’s obvious that you’re in love with her. She’s just…” She trailed off as tears welled up in Umi’s eyes. “Oh. Oh shit. Please don’t cry.”   
  
“I’m sorry, I can’t help it.” Umi sniffled softly and reached up to quickly wipe at her eyes. “It’s just that I’ve never really heard it out loud o-or said if myself. You’re right. She doesn’t see me.”   
  
“I-I didn’t mean that in a bad way.” Chika said hastily. She felt awful for upsetting Umi. Even worse than she had when she’d upset Eli. “She loves you as her best friend. I know she does.”   
  
“She wouldn’t even think of me as anything else though.” Umi said tearfully. As much as she tried she couldn’t seem to stop crying. “Kotori said she might but she’s wrong. Honoka-chan doesn’t see me.”   
  
“I see you.” Chika boldly reached up, cupping Umi’s face in her hand. As Umi hesitantly met her eyes she thought of Riko and how she would feel if she ever saw her so upset. “I know how you feel, Umi-chan. Not being able to be with the person you love is hard. I know.”   
  
“Riko?” Umi asked tearfully. She continued when Chika nodded. “I’m sorry. I don’t want to remind you of her.”   
  
“It’s okay.” Chika said softly, brushing her thumb lightly along Umi’s jaw.    
  
Umi gave a short, tearful laugh. “I don’t think Honoka has ever looked at me the way you are now. I guess there’s really no hope.”   
  
“Then she’s definitely an idiot.” Chika leaned in, her mind on Riko. And Kanan to an extent. She hated the idea of leading one of her closest friends on. Of even the slightest possibility that she could make her feel like Umi felt.    
  
Umi closed her eyes a the first brush of Honoka’s lips against hers. She whimpered slightly at the softness, her hand automatically reaching up to grasp Honoka’s arm in alarm. She relaxed after a moment though, carefully kissing back. If this was the only time she would get to kiss Honoka she was going to make the most of it. Even if Honoka wasn’t herself. That part felt a little bit wrong but she couldn’t help herself.    
  
Chika reached up to cup the back of Umi’s head, her fingers dipping into the girl’s soft hair. The door opened a second later and both Umi and Chika parted, not nearly quickly enough.    
  
Umi felt her stomach plummet at seeing Eli standing at the door, her eyes wide. She watched as the blonde’s lower lip began to tremble, her eyes filling with tears. “Oh no. Eli…” She quickly got to her feet, vaguely noticing Chika do the same next to her. It was too late though as Eli turned and rushed from the room. "ELI, WAIT! IT’S JUST A MISUNDERSTANDING, PLEASE…”   
  
She turned to Chika, giving her a light shove. “Go after her! You’re her girlfriend. At least she thinks you are so go and fix this! Go after her! Honoka loves her so just go, okay?!”   
  
“R-Right.” Chika rushed after Eli, overwhelmed by guilt. It seemed like she was always hurting someone unintentionally. She noticed Eli turn the corner at the end of the hallway and sprinted after her, rounding the corner. “ELI!”   
  
Eli froze at the sound of her name being yelled. She didn’t turn around though. “What do you want, Honoka?”   
  
Chika took a deep breath. Honoka was going to be furious with her for telling two people the truth in one day but it had to be done. She had to fix this. “I’m not…”   
  
“No, seriously. What do you  _ want?!”  _ Eli spun around and Chika flinched at the sight of tears spilling down her cheeks. “Because I think I know and then you go and do something like  _ that _ ! I think that you want me and then you decide that you don’t want me anywhere near you. You decide you don’t want to touch me o-or talk to me and you kiss other people!”   
  
“I’M NOT HONOKA, OKAY?!” Chika exploded in frustration. “I’M NOT HER! I’M NOTHING LIKE HER AT ALL. I DON’T WANT TO  _ BE _ LIKE HER!” She reached up, shoving her fingers into her hair with an annoyed growl. “I’m so fucking  _ sick of this!” _   
  
Nozomi rounded the corner behind Eli and paused. “Oh no…”   
  
“What?” Eli forgot about what she’d seen for a moment, her concern overwhelming how hurt she felt. “Honoka…”   
  
“CHIKA-CHAN!” Nozomi exclaimed loudly, stepping up behind Eli. She glanced at her best friend, noticing tears staining her cheeks. “Damn it, what did you do now?!”   
  
“I didn’t...I screwed up, okay?” Chika’s hand fell back to her sides. She hadn’t meant to. It wasn’t like she had planned to kiss Umi but she missed Riko. She wanted to be with Riko and as far as she could see there was no way. “I wanted to be with the person  _ I  _ like and Umi-chan was just there!”   
  
“I’m going to knock you out.” Nozomi said angrily through gritted teeth. “And you better wake up in your own body!”   
  
“It was an accident!” Chika shrunk away as Nozomi took a step forward. “I’m going home. To bed. God, I hope I do wake up in my own body. I hate this.”   
  
Nozomi was going to say something else but Chika had already turned and rushed off. She sighed and reached up, rubbing her temples with two fingers of each hand.    
  
“Explain.” Eli said, skirting around Nozomi to stand in front of her. “Now, Nozomi.”   
  
Nozomi winced at the demand. “Can we do this when Honoka-chan is here?”   
  
“She was JUST here!” Eli exclaimed loudly, gesturing to where Honoka had been a moment ago. “What the hell is going on? I just had to watch her kiss someone else and then she rants about how she’s  _ not _ Honoka?! Nozomi, you need to TELL ME. I’m sick of being in the dark!”   
  
Nozomi shifted uncomfortably. “You need to understand the whole situation, Elichi. I can’t just explain it to you. You need Honoka to tell you what’s going on.”   
  
“Like I’m going to speak to her!” Eli retorted, crossing her arms in front of her chest. “I love her. She knows how I feel about her but she’s constantly hot and cold with me. And then she goes and kisses one of our friends? I’m done with this, Nozomi. I’m just DONE.”   
  
“Whoa, wait!” Nozomi grasped Eli’s wrist to keep her from leaving. “That was NOT Honoka. Honoka-chan is crazy about you, she would never even think of kissing someone else.”   
  
“Yeah. ‘Chika’, right?” Eli asked in disbelief. She reached up, feeling tears beginning to dry on her cheeks and quickly wiped them away. “As far as I know Honoka’s too old for an imaginary friend, Nozomi!”   
  
Nozomi growled in indignation. As much as she wanted to help nobody was making it easy for her. “You need to take the spirits seriously! This thing with Honoka-chan and Chika-chan is a spiritual problem. You need to believe me!”   
  
Eli stared at Nozomi silently.    
  
“Damn it.” Nozomi muttered under her breath. She took a deep breath before she spoke again. “Look just go and find Honoka, okay? She’s probably going to be upset. And confused.”   
  
“If Honoka wants to speak to me she can come and find me herself.” Eli answered firmly. When she spoke next, her tone was significantly weaker. Defeated almost. “I love Honoka. I really do. And I would do anything for her. But I’m tired of running around after her when she clearly doesn’t want me. I wish what you were saying made sense. It would be easier to think Honoka could love me back and that she wouldn’t keep...hurting me like she is. But it can’t be true. It doesn’t make sense.”   
  
“Elichi, Honoka DOES love you!” Nozomi said quickly before Eli had a chance to walk away. “She hates this. She hates knowing that Chika keeps hurting you but it’s not her fault. Chika-chan is a good person. I know she cares about Honoka-chan but she’s having her own issues and she keeps screwing up. Especially with you. But trust me, she’s driving me crazy too. I know she doesn’t mean it and Honoka-chan might be causing just as much trouble on her side but…”   
  
“Nozomi, STOP!” Eli interrupted Nozomi harshly, causing her to flinch in surprise. “I’m sorry, I just need to go, okay? I need some time to process all of this. Honoka. Umi. You. I just need some time.”   
  
“Me?” Nozomi echoed in disbelief. She’d done nothing but go out of her way to make sure Eli didn’t get hurt. “What? Are you breaking up with me too?”   
  
Eli sighed, realizing Nozomi wasn’t even close to letting the argument go. “We’re not dating…”   
  
“You KNOW what I mean!” Nozomi snapped irritably. “We’re best friends. I just need you to listen to me.”   
  
“Exactly. We are best friends.” Eli felt her eyes prickle with tears again. She’d wanted to leave before this could happen. “You and I. Not you and Honoka.  _ We’re  _ meant to be best friends so if something like that was happening you’d have told me. You’d have warned me off.”   
  
Nozomi calmed at the accusation, guilt replacing her anger. “I wanted you to be happy. Eli...” She trailed off helplessly as Eli turned and walked away.    
  
Cursing under her breath she pulled out her phone, figuring Chika wouldn’t be in the right state of mind to leave Honoka a note. She sent a quick text explaining the situation and told Honoka she needed to find Eli as soon as possible. Slipping her phone back into her pocket she turned to find Umi standing at the corner.    
  
“I screwed up, huh?” Umi asked in a small tone of voice.    
  
“No.” Nozomi forced a small smile to her lips. “Chika screwed up. Elichi isn’t going to blame you for this.”   
  
“I should have pushed her away.” Umi mumbled, looking down at her feet. She didn’t notice Nozomi approaching until the girl wrapped her arms around her, drawing her into a tight embrace. “You don’t have to comfort me. I was wrong…”   
  
“No you weren’t.” Nozomi said with a shake of her head. “You were just trying to help your friend. Besides, I kind of need this too.”   
  
Umi nodded silently and allowed herself to melt into the embrace offered to her instead of trying to resist. “Do you think Honoka and Eli will be okay?” She asked, closing her eyes to focus on Nozomi’s warmth. She was glad nobody was around at least, to see the two of them hugging in the middle of the corridor.    
  
“I hope so.” Nozomi whispered. She could only hope that Honoka would know what to say to Eli. She certainly didn’t.    
  
\----   
  
Honoka was noticeably distracted as she practiced with Aqours. Kanan had been watching her out of the corner of her eye for a while and it was clear that she was missing steps. She couldn’t miss the way Honoka kept sneaking looks at her either, like she wanted to ask her something but she wasn’t sure how. Kanan was certain it had to do with the fact that Honoka had woken up to find her with no shirt on.    
  
Focused on Honoka as she was, she noticed immediately when the girl stopped, lifting her hand to her head and wobbling unsteadily on her feet.    
  
“The hell…?” Honoka muttered as her vision blurred. She didn’t feel dizzy though. What she felt wasn’t something she’d felt before. It was like someone was forcing her out of her body. Or Chika’s body rather.    
  
“Chika-chan?” She vaguely heard one of the others call her name but she wasn’t sure who it was. She didn’t have time to dwell on it either as her knees buckled and her vision turned completely black.    
  
“Chika!”   
  
“Chikachi!”   
  
“Chika-chan!”   
  
Several voices called Chika’s name as the girl fell forward. Both Kanan and Riko sprung forward but Kanan managed to get there just before Chika hit the floor, catching her quickly. She lowered them both gently to the ground, Chika resting back against her chest.    
  
“Chika!” Kanan lightly tapped Chika’s cheek and breathed a sigh of relief when her friend stirred and finally opened her eyes. “Is...is it you? Chika?”   
  
Chika gave a slight nod of her head. “Why am I on the floor…?”   
  
“You fainted.” Kanan said quietly. She looked up at Riko who had backed away. She hadn’t taken much notice when Chika had fallen but she recalled that Riko had leapt forward. “Riko, can you take over here? I’m going to get the nurse just in case.”   
  
Riko nodded and as Kanan got up, she slipped in behind Chika, taking her place.    
  
“Are you okay, Chika-chan?” You and the others gathered around them, all of them equally worried. Even Yoshiko looked worried.    
  
“I-I’m fine, I’m sorry. I just got dizzy.” Chika looked up at Riko, her chest twinging with discomfort. “I’m sorry.”   
  
Riko wasn’t sure what Chika was talking about but when Chika buried her face into her chest, taking a shuddering breath she resolved to ask her about it later.    
  
TBC.   



	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter of ANITW, I hope you guys enjoy. Thanks for the comments etc! :D

The moment Eli stepped foot into the sweet shop Honoka’s parents owned the smell of red bean paste hit her. It was a smell she would usually find comforting, given that it quite often clung to Honoka’s clothes but now it just brought a painful pang to her chest.    
  
“Eli-chan, what can I do for you?” Honoka’s mother was standing behind the counter and had noticed immediately when Eli had stepped into the shop. “Are you looking for Honoka?”   
  
“Um...no. I’m just here to pick Arisa up.” Eli answered awkwardly. Honoka hadn’t made an attempt to reach out to her since school had ended four hours ago so she didn’t especially want to speak to her either. “It’s um...getting dark and all. I don’t want her to walk home alone.”   
  
“You’re a good big sister.” Honoka’s mom looked over her shoulder, looking a little troubled. She heard the sound of footsteps on the stairs. “Ah, sounds like Arisa-chan is coming down now.”   
  
Yukiho and Arisa appeared a moment later, stepping out from the back. Both of them looked a little breathless.    
  
“We managed to get her out of her uniform.” Yukiho told her mother. “We kept her shirt off because she’s burning up but she says she’s freezing so she’s under her blankets.”   
  
“I-I put a wet cloth on her head.” Arisa said quietly. “It felt good when Onee-chan did that, when I got sick.”   
  
Eli’s brow furrowed slightly in confusion as she tried to work out what was happening.    
  
“Thank you, Arisa-chan.” Hikaru said with a weak smile. “I’m sure Honoka appreciates it.”   
  
“Wait…” Eli murmured under her breath. She’d only seen Honoka a few hours earlier and she’d been fine. “What’s going on with Honoka?”   
  
“She went upstairs to take a nap when she got back and the moment she woke up she was burning up.” Hikaru answered, looking back toward Eli. “She’s been complaining about being sore too. Mostly her back but she says her whole body hurts.”   
  
“And she feels weak.” Yukiho contributed. “She can’t stand on her own. We even had to help her change. I’ve never seen her like this before. Even when she got sick last time she got right back on her feet. And it hasn’t even been raining or anything, she…” Her voice cracked and she cleared her throat, quickly reaching up to wipe her eyes. “The doctor is coming, right?”   
  
Hikaru nodded. “Your father went to pick him up.” She looked to Eli who was staring vacantly ahead. “We called for a home visit.”   
  
Eli swallowed thickly. “I’m going to see her. If that’s okay.” She didn’t wait for an answer before she left the room, hurrying up the stairs. She got to Honoka’s room and pushed open the door, finding the bedroom lit only by Honoka’s bedside lamp.    
  
Honoka was curled up on her side in her bed, breathing heavily. The blanket was pushed down so Eli could see sweat glistening on her skin.    
  
“Chika-chan, what...what did you do…?” Honoka whimpered, grasping her throbbing head. She let out a choked sob. “Eli-senpai...I want Eli-senpai. Please. Please...”   
  
Eli took a shaky breath. Honoka seemed delirious with her mutterings. Like she really thought she was talking to someone. What caught her attention though was the mention of Chika. “She’s real…” She mused to herself as she took a small step into the room.   
  
Honoka heard movement and looked up. “E-Eli-senpai…hey.”   
  
“Hey.” Eli moved without thought, kneeling on the floor next to Honoka’s bed. She brushed Honoka’s hair from her forehead and almost flinched at her temperature. “Shit…”   
  
“I don’t feel good.” Honoka mumbled, closing her eyes. “I woke up like this. I-I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”   
  
“You’ll be okay.” Eli whispered, gently stroking Honoka’s hair. “The doctor is coming.”   
  
Honoka met Eli’s eyes with some effort. “I saw Nozomi-chan’s note on my phone. I-I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about Chika-chan. What’s happening is so unfair. She treats you terribly and it makes me so angry, I-I...I hate her for hurting you. Why can’t it be anyone else she doesn’t like? It just had to be you. The person I want to be with m-more than anyone…” She trailed off, turning her head to press her face into her sweat dampened pillow.    
  
Eli felt her eyes sting with tears as Honoka sobbed quietly into her pillow. “I-It’s gonna be okay, Honoka.”   
  
“It’s not!” Honoka burst out, as strongly as she could. She flinched as pain shot through her head. She drew her face away from her pillow to look at Eli. “Nozomi-chan says you broke up with me. Or you want to. But I-I love you so much, Eli-senpai. Only you. I don’t want to be with anyone else, I just don’t know what to DO. I-I’m such a fucking…”   
  
“Hey, it’s okay.” Eli soothed as Honoka tearfully trailed off, hiccuping on sobs. “We’re NOT broken up, do you hear me? I’m here. I’m sorry, I-I should have listened to her. I should have seen it myself. I’m not going anywhere.”    
  
She wasn’t sure Honoka could even hear her. She quickly pulled out her phone and hurried to get into bed next to Honoka, drawing her close to her. Honoka’s skin was hot and damp to the touch. Her clothes and hair too. She was shivering from the cold though as she sobbed softly into Eli’s chest.    
  
Eli gently shushed Honoka, pressing her lips to her girlfriend’s head. She drew her cell phone from her pocket and urgently unlocked it. She found Nozomi’s phone number and called it quickly, lifting the phone to her ear. Nozomi answered after a couple of rings.    
  
“Hello?” Nozomi said tentatively when she answered the call.    
  
“Nozomi!” Eli exclaimed in relief. “Oh god, I thought you weren’t going to pick up. I need your help.”   
  
“After the fight we had, I thought you wouldn’t want to talk to me.” Nozomi said apprehensively. “What’s going on?”   
  
“Chika-chan is real. I know that a-and I’m sorry I didn’t believe you but you should have…” Eli trailed off. Her anger could wait. “Honoka’s really hurt. Physically. She’s sick. She’s really sick Nozomi and I don’t know what to do. You know about this spiritual stuff, what do I do?!”   
  
Nozomi looked down at the tarot cards she’d been mindlessly lining up. Lifting one upright, she winced. “The Tower...shit, the brat’s really upset the spirits.”   
  
“Nozomi, PLEASE!”   
  
“Just be there for her. Is the doctor coming?” Nozomi asked, getting to her feet.    
  
“Y-Yeah. Is she going to switch again?”   
  
“No.” Nozomi said quietly, glancing over at Umi who’d elected to stay with her. “The spirits are angry. Unfortunately because of Chika-chan’s actions Honoka-chan will suffer.”   
  
Umi’s gaze snapped toward Nozomi. “What?”   
  
“O-Okay. I have to go.” Eli said as Honoka’s trembling got worse. She hung up and tossed the phone aside, wrapping her other arm around Honoka instead. “It’s okay. I’m here.”   
  
After a few minutes Eli heard footsteps and looked up to see Honoka’s parents enter with the doctor. She moved to get up but Honoka’s mom stopped her with a hand on her shoulder.    
  
“Just keep hold of her. It’s fine, isn’t it?” Hikaru looked to the doctor who gave a nod of approval as he stepped closer to the bed. As he went about his examination, Eli stayed where she was, gently stroking Honoka’s hair to soothe her.    
  
“It hurts…” Honoka mumbled, pressing closer to Eli.    
  
“I know.” Eli brushed her lips against Honoka’s forehead. “I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere, I swear.”   
  
\----   
  
“I should go over there.” Umi fretted, pacing back and forth in front of Nozomi. “If Honoka is sick I should be there.”   
  
“Her girlfriend is with her.” Nozomi said softly. “I don’t think she wants anyone but Elichi right now. Besides, it’s late. We can’t go out, your parents will kill me. I’m still surprised they agreed to let you stay over on a school  night…”   
  
“Y-You’re right.” Umi stuttered, nervously wringing her hands away. “I would probably just get in the way if I was there. This is my fault anyway. I shouldn’t have let Chika kiss me.”   
  
“You wouldn’t get in the way. But Honoka needs Elichi right now. And Eli needs her. She’s only just seeing how serious this is.” Nozomi said with a sigh. She stood up and took both of Umi’s hands, leading her back to the bed. She sat down, tugging Umi with her. “And it’s not your fault. This has been coming for a while…”   
  
Umi relaxed as Nozomi gently rubbed her back. “I still feel like I should be the one who’s with her. She’s my best friend. I know Eli is her girlfriend but I  _ love _ Honoka. More than anyone else. She’s been my best friend since we were kids!”   
  
“I’m sorry, Umi-chan.” Nozomi said softly. She could understand where Umi was coming from, to some extent. “But girlfriend has best friend beat. And...I’m not sure you really get how much Elichi loves Honoka. You might be wrong about loving her more.”   
  
Umi sighed heavily, her shoulders slumping. “You don’t understand…”   
  
“I do. I really do.” Nozomi said, her hand stilling on Umi’s back. “I understand better than you think. Elichi is my best friend, remember? I would want to do the same if she was sick or hurt. But I would want someone to tell me that it’s not a good idea. That I’m not the person she needs. If Elichi was sick she would need Honoka-chan.”   
  
Umi frowned down at the floor beneath her feet. She didn’t know what she could say to that. To a degree she knew that Nozomi was right. “Maybe I should call Kotori to tell her what’s happening. She’ll want to know.”   
  
“Wait until tomorrow.” Nozomi advised gently. “You don’t want to panic her, right?”   
  
“I’m panicking.” Umi mumbled. She let Nozomi draw her into a warm embrace and sighed softly, closing her eyes. “You’re warm…”   
  
“Oh, you like my boobs, huh?” Nozomi teased as Umi rested her head against her shoulder.    
  
“Shut up.” Umi mumbled, closing her eyes. She had to admit, she was exhausted but she didn’t know if she’d be able to sleep. Despite her concerns, as Nozomi began to run her fingers through her hair, she found herself beginning to nod off and jerked awake after a moment.    
  
“Let’s go to bed.” Nozomi said softly as she got to her feet. Luckily the two had already changed so it took very little effort for them to get into bed.    
  
Nozomi was surprised when Umi slid right up to her but upon thinking about it she supposed that it made sense that Umi would want to be close to someone. She was probably worried about Honoka, just as Nozomi herself was.    
  
Nozomi curled an arm around Umi and closed her eyes, letting her tiredness overwhelm her.    
  
\-----   
  
Arisa jolted awake suddenly, realizing that she had dozed off for a few minutes. Unlike when she had fallen asleep though. Yukiho wasn’t by her side.    
  
Arisa tiredly got to her feet and padded her way across Yukiho’s bedroom, opening the door. She stepped out into the hallway and spotted Yukiho at the other end, peering into Honoka’s bedroom.    
  
“Yukiho-chan?” She whispered as she approached the girl. Yukiho didn’t show any sign of hearing her and Arisa looked past her into the bedroom. Her sister and Honoka were seemingly sleeping, Honoka curled into Eli’s arms.    
  
It was clear that Honoka was sleeping fitfully, her face flushed and clammy. On closer inspection, Arisa could see that Eli was gently rubbing Honoka’s back to soothe her.    
  
She looked to Yukiho and found her anxiously biting her lip. “Are you okay?”   
  
Yukiho gave a simple shake of her head. “I’ve never seen her like this before. She’s so weak.”   
  
Arisa swallowed thickly. It concerned her too. Everyone else felt the same way, she was sure. “Th-The doctor said it’s probably just a strong flu though, right? And the medicine he gave her should help.”   
  
“I-I don’t know, Arisa.” Yukiho stuttered, glancing at the blonde. “I heard mom and dad talking about the hospital. They said she’s probably dehydrated so if she’s not strong enough tomorrow they’re going to take her in. And the doctor said if she doesn’t get better there’ll have to be more tests. Blood tests and x-rays...”   
  
Arisa wasn’t sure what to say to that and she fell silent for a moment as she thought. “Honoka-san is strong. She’ll get better.”   
  
“Look…” Eli piped up from the bed, turning to look at Yukiho and Arisa. “Just come in. Both of you.”   
  
Yukiho and Arisa shuffled into the bedroom, moving to stand at Eli’s side.    
  
Eli noticed Yukiho’s worried gaze as she stared at Honoka. “She’s fine. She’s cooling down a bit, I think.”   
  
Yukiho nodded as she watched Honoka. Even under the blankets, she was still shivering from the cold and she was fully dressed now. “Do you think she’ll be okay?”   
  
“Of course I do.” Eli said, forcing a smile to her lips. “Listen, why don’t you two sleep in here tonight? The bed isn’t big enough for all of us but if you want to sleep with Honoka, I can sleep in the futon on the floor with Arisa.”   
  
“No, I um...I want to stay in the room but you should stay with her. It seems like you make her feel better.” Yukiho said with a shake of her head.    
  
“We can sleep together then, Yukiho-chan?” Arisa asked hopefully, glancing at the futon set out on the floor and the blankets nearby. She wondered why it was there, given that Eli was sleeping in the bed with Honoka. She quickly realized that it might have been from the previous nights when they were staying over.    
  
“We always do.” Yukiho answered with a small smile. She was glad to have Arisa by her side at least, offering words of reassurance when Yukiho’s fears got the best of her.    
  
“What?” Eli narrowed her eyes at Yukiho though it was clear she was just teasing.    
  
“Not like you and Onee-chan!” Yukiho said quickly. Unlike her parents it hadn’t taken her long at all to see the newly developed relationship between her sister and the third year.    
  
“I’ll be keeping an eye on you.” Eli teased with a smirk as Yukiho and Arisa moved to finish setting the futon up.    
  
“I don’t get it.” Arisa mumbled as she slid down onto the futon.   
  
Yukiho gave a gentle laugh as she lay down next to Arisa, throwing the blanket over the two of them. “You don’t have to.”   
  
Eli smiled as her sister grumbled in complaint. She turned her attention back to Honoka, gently kissing her heated forehead. Honoka seemed to sigh in her sleep but she didn’t wake. It seemed like the medicine she’d taken had really knocked her out.    
  
She settled down for what would undoubtedly be a sleepless night. She didn’t want to sleep, for fear that she would miss something happening with Honoka and she wouldn’t be able to help.    
  
\----   
  
Maki wasn’t at all happy about being awoken in the middle of the night. And on a school night no less. She reached for her ringing phone, vaguely noticing it was Eli calling her. “Hello?”   
  
“Hey, Maki. Sorry to wake you up.”   
  
Maki had been intent on lecturing Eli about calling her at such a late hour but she paused at the tremble in the girl’s voice. “It’s fine. You okay?”   
  
“Not really.” Eli admitted. She cleared her throat before she continued. “Honoka’s sick.”   
  
Maki paused at that, noticing the catch in Eli’s voice. “How sick?”   
  
“Um...the doctor says he doesn’t think it’s serious but she’s burning up and she’s really weak.” Eli answered, her voice taut with emotion. “M-Maybe if I told you her symptoms you could tell me what you think?”   
  
“Well I’m not a doctor…” Maki said reluctantly. Her parents were and she’d learnt some things from them though. “I’ll try.”   
  
“Thank you.” Eli sighed in relief. “Um...she has a fever. A really bad one. She’s burning up but she can’t stop shaking. And she says she’s sore all over. Her back and head mainly. And she said it hurts to breathe sometimes.”   
  
“Maybe the flu?” Maki asked uncertainly. “Does she have a sore throat or anything?”   
  
“No…”   
  
“A headache? Is she sleeping a lot?”   
  
“Yeah, both of those.” Eli answered quickly. “Her head was really bothering her earlier.”   
  
“Sounds like the flu.” Maki said, a bit more confident than the first time she’d said that. “Maybe it’s just a bad case of it. Don’t worry, I’m sure Honoka’s going to be fine. She’ll need a couple of days off from school but she’ll be okay.”   
  
“Right…” Eli murmured, biting her lip. “I’m sorry I called. I probably sound like a panicky girlfriend. I just hate seeing her like this.”   
  
Maki was silent for a moment as she considered what to say. She supposed it was a bit strange that she was talking to Eli about the person she’d almost ended up dating herself. “It’s fine. Are you going to be okay?”   
  
“Yeah, I’ll be fine.” Eli took a deep breath to compose herself. “Goodnight, Maki.”   
  
“Yeah, goodnight…” Maki waited until Eli ended the call before she placed her phone back on her bedside table. Sighing, she lay back down just as Kotori turned over next to her.    
  
“Who was on the phone?” Kotori mumbled tiredly, curling her arm around Maki’s waist.    
  
“It was Eli.” Maki answered softly. She paused as Kotori lightly nuzzled her neck.    
  
“Why?” Kotori asked quietly. “Is something wrong?”   
  
“No...well yes. Maybe.” Maki paused, biting her lip. She would have prefered to tell Kotori the next morning so the girl didn’t lose sleep by worrying but she couldn’t keep what Eli had told her from Kotori, of all people. Honoka was her best friend. “Honoka’s sick. With the flu, the doctor thinks. Eli was just freaking out. It seems like it’s hit Honoka pretty hard.”   
  
“She’ll be fine.” Kotori mumbled, pressing herself close to Maki. “Honoka-chan always bounces back from stuff like this really quickly.”   
  
“Mmhm.” Maki lay there for a while longer, staring at the ceiling. She couldn’t help but think that it was odd that Honoka wasn’t exhibiting the two main symptoms of the flu. “I have to look something up.”    
  
She slipped out from under Kotori’s arm and crossed the room to her bookshelf where she kept the medical books she liked to browse through. She took down a neurology book and sat down at her desk, opening it in front of her.    
  
She cast a brief glance back to Kotori, finding her girlfriend had gone back to sleep. She was glad of that at least. Kotori didn’t seem worried at all. Unlike her, for some reason. She turned back to the book, quickly scanning through the pages until she found what she was looking for. “Damn it…”   
\----   
  
“Here you go, Chika-chan.” Riko sat down at the edge of Chika’s bed and gently pressed a glass of orange juice into her hands. “Make sure you drink it. It’ll make you feel better.”   
  
“Thanks.” Chika said softly, offering a small smile. She took a sip of the orange juice and sighed softly. She’d felt a bit groggy when she’d woken up and she’d had a bit of a headache but that was all. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to worry you.”   
  
“You didn’t.” Riko hurried to reassure Chika but winced at the way her response sounded. “I mean I was worried. Everyone was. But it wasn’t your fault.”   
  
“I think it might have been…” Chika mumbled under her breath, lowering her gaze.    
  
“What?”   
  
“Ah, nothing.” Chika looked up again, flashing a somewhat unconvincing smile. “Where is Kanan-chan?”   
  
Riko’s face fell at the question but she answered anyway. “Um...I’m not really sure. She was around a while ago but then she left. I can go and find her if you want me to…”   
  
“No!” Chika reached out and grabbed Riko’s hand to keep her from getting up. “I want you here. I’m okay. I’ll speak to Kanan-chan later but I don’t want you to leave right now.”   
  
“O-Oh…” Riko looked down at her lap, smiling softly to herself. At least Chika still wanted her company. “Can I ask you something?”   
  
“Of course.” Chika said without hesitation.    
  
“Um...last night, after we finished talking…” Riko bit her lip, pausing for a minute. “I um...I saw you. With Kanan-chan.”   
  
Chika’s eyes widened in surprise. “O-Oh…”   
  
“Yeah, um…” Riko glanced back at the door, briefly in case anyone entered. “D-Did you sleep with her? If you don’t mind me asking.”   
  
“No!” Chika exclaimed hurriedly. “No, of course not. I just made out with her. It didn’t mean anything. I was frustrated, that’s all. I’m not dating Kanan-chan. And I don’t like anyone, I swear.”   
  
“I see…” Riko said quietly.    
  
Chika kicked herself. “Riko-chan, I’m...I haven’t been entirely honest with you. The truth is I-I do like someone. I like y-”   
  
“Chika, you’re awake!”   
  
Chika cursed under her breath as Kanan chose that moment to burst into the room with Dia right behind her. “Uh...yeah. I’m fine now. I think I was just feeling a bit tired or something.”   
  
Kanan smiled warmly at Chika as she reached her side. Taking Chika’s hand, she glanced over at Riko in time to see her glare at her. “You okay?”   
  
“Fine.” Riko said, forcing a smile to her lips. “I’m fine.”   
  
Dia raised an eyebrow at that as she stepped closer to the bed. “You’re feeling better then?”   
  
“Much. Thank you.” Chika said quietly. She gave Kanan’s hand a light squeeze, unwilling to push her away. She didn’t want to hurt her feelings and she knew that Kanan must have been worried about her.    
  
“You don’t feel dizzy or anything?” Kanan asked in concern. There was more she wanted to ask, like why Honoka had passed out but she couldn’t. Not in front of Dia and Riko. She settled for staying as close to Chika as she could.    
  
“I’m fine.” Chika said softly, looking toward Kanan. “I promise.”   
  
“How are you feeling?” Kanan asked quietly, lowering her voice. “About...you know?”   
  
Chika gave a short, bitter laugh. “Let’s just say I don’t think I ever want to meet Honoka-chan in real life.”   
  
She was sure Honoka would be furious with her. That if they ever met in real life Honoka would actually hit her.    
  
Dia frowned. “Well...sadly that’s never going to happen.”   
  
“What?” Chika looked up in confusion as did Kanan. “Why not?”   
  
“Wow, you guys really are terrible Muse fans.” Dia muttered, shaking her head in dismay. “Everyone knows there are only eight Muse members now.”   
  
Chika’s stomach dropped with dread. “What?”   
  
Dia sighed loudly. It was like she had to spell it out for her. “Kousaka Honoka is dead.”   
  
TBC.    
  
  
  



	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys enjoy. Thanks for the comments! :D

“WHAT?!” Chika erupted in disbelief before she could even really consider it. Honoka couldn’t be dead. It wasn’t possible.  
  
Riko flinched while Dia stared at Chika in confusion. The brunette hesitantly explained though. “She collapsed after her last Love Live at the Akiba Bowl.”   
  
“What?!” Chika exclaimed again. “No...no! Is this some kind of joke? She can’t be dead, she’s…”   
  
“Chika!” Kanan interrupted loudly, effectively silencing her friend. She stepped forward and carefully picked Chika up, bridal style. Feeling Chika’s arms go around her neck, she turned and quickly fled the room, hurrying toward an empty classroom. Thankfully she had plenty to choose from considering school was over for the day.   
  
“Okay.” Kanan muttered as she gently set Chika down in one of the seats. “What the hell is going on because I feel like I’m in some kind of...alternate time glitch. Did you force the switch or something? What’s going on Chika because I have two sets of memories about Kousaka Honoka!”   
  
“D-Don’t look at me.” Chika said, visibly paler than she had been a few minutes ago. “I-I have it too. I don’t know what happened. This isn’t right, Honoka isn’t meant to be dead. I-I haven’t done anything to put her in danger. How could I? All she does is go to school and practice for Love Live. This can’t be right, Honoka-chan is alive. She’s definitely alive. She was before all of this happened, right?”   
  
Kanan tried to think about that for a moment. She wanted to think that it was true that Honoka had been alive before Chika had switched with her but she couldn’t remember. “I-I don’t know. I-If we go to Tokyo and find she has a grave or something then that’ll prove it, right? But if we find one that’ll be really bad.”   
  
“We have to!” Chika blurted out loudly. “W-We have to go to Tokyo so we can find out for sure!”   
  
“Are you crazy? Tomorrow is a school day!”   
  
“PLEASE, Kanan-chan!” Chika clasped her hands together, her eyes welling with tears. “I need to find out for sure! Honoka-chan is meant to be alive, I’m sure of it!”   
  
“Alright, alright.” Kanan sighed loudly. She was definitely going to regret this. “We’ll go. Just meet me tomorrow morning at the train station, okay?”   
  
Chika nodded, calming a bit. “O-Okay.” As Kanan moved in to hug her, she couldn’t help but let out a soft sob. “W-What if she is dead, Kanan-chan? I don’t know what I’ll do if...Honoka-chan and I do things to annoy each other but I don’t want her to die! I-I wanted to meet her someday, I wanted to be her friend. I really...I-I really just…”   
  
“Shhh.” Kanan hushed, running her hand over to back of Chika’s hair. She couldn’t imagine how Chika must be feeling. She knew that even though Honoka annoyed her sometimes, Chika still cared for her deeply. “It’s okay. I know. It’s going to be okay, Chika. I promise. No matter what happens you’ll still have me. And Riko and You a-and the others.”   
  
The words sounded empty to her own ears. She knew it wasn’t what Chika needed to hear but it was all she could offer.   
  
\----   
  
Eli stared vacantly at the dough as she pressed her hands into it, kneading it carefully. She wasn’t doing as good a job as she could be. She knew that. Honoka was asleep again but that didn’t keep Eli from wanting to be close to her.   
  
Hikaru was nearby, talking about Honoka. Ranting about how she had always been a good daughter. A daughter to be proud of. She had been for the past hour or so but Eli wasn’t paying all that much attention. She was too busy worrying about Honoka. She wished she could be upstairs to watch over her but Yukiho had taken over that particular duty.   
  
Both Yukiho and Eli had taken the day off school though Eli knew she could only afford for it to happen once. She’d never taken a day off before. For anything. She would have to go back the next day. She wasn’t sure what Yukiho would do. She would need to go back too, surely.   
  
Hearing the door open tore Eli from her thoughts and she looked up in time to see Nozomi enter the kitchen, Umi entering behind her, a little reluctantly. “Hey.” Eli addressed Umi, pointedly not meeting Nozomi’s eyes. “Visiting Honoka?”   
  
“Uh...yeah.” Umi answered, glancing awkwardly between Nozomi and Eli. “Kotori, Maki and Nico are here too. Last I saw them, they were talking to Honoka’s dad out front. It’s...”   
  
“Okay, enough with the freaking awkward small talk. I have some of my famous chicken noodle soup with me so let’s go see our idiot leader.” Nico called from the hallway, apparently having followed them out.   
  
Maki huffed under her breath. “You’re only going to make her condition worse, Nico-chan.”   
  
Nico’s face turned red. “What did you just…?”   
  
“She’s sleeping.” Eli interrupted firmly, glancing between the five of them. “Maybe if there’s going to be so many of you, you should wait unti-” She was cut off by a hand coming to rest on her shoulder. Looking up she found Honoka’s mom standing behind her.   
  
“It’s fine.” Hikaru said with a small smile. “I’m sure she’d love to see all of you. Please, go on up.”   
  
The group murmured a quiet thanks to Honoka’s mom before they turned and walked toward Honoka’s room. Maki hung back a bit, waiting for Eli to come out into the hallway. “Hey um...do you mind if I ask you some more questions about Honoka?”   
  
“Um...sure.” Eli said as she closed the door behind her. “What is it?”   
  
“I just wanted to go through some symptoms.” Maki took a piece of crumpled paper from her pocket. “Is she experiencing dizzy spells?”   
  
“Um...I’m not sure. She hasn’t gotten up much.” Eli said with a shake of her head.   
  
“Memory loss?”   
  
“I don’t think so. She seems to know what’s going on.” Eli glanced anxiously toward Honoka’s bedroom door. She just wanted to get back to her but she knew Maki’s questions could be important.   
  
“Loss of balance?”   
  
“Yeah, I think so. I guess that kind of relates to dizziness in a way, huh?” Eli sheepishly rubbed the back of her neck. “Sorry. Now that I think of it, yes. To both.”   
  
“Having trouble peeing?”   
  
“Okay, way too much information.”   
  
“That one is important Eli.” Maki said but she sighed and relented anyway. “Okay, that’s all I need to know. Just let me know if anything like that starts.”   
  
“Maki, what do you think is wrong with her?” Eli asked anxiously. “I’m really worried. She’s so sick and I don’t know what to do. This has to be more than a cold, right?”   
  
“I don’t know.” Maki admitted, a little irritated with herself for that. “I’m still trying to figure that out. As soon as I know for sure, I’ll tell you. I promise.”   
  
Eli nodded, forcing a small smile to her lips. “Thank you. Do you...want to go and see Honoka?” She waited until she received a hurried nod from Maki before she led the way down the hallway and slipped into Honoka’s room. Honoka was propped up against her pillows, Yukiho at her side as the others crowded around her. Nico seemed to be in the process of outlining why Honoka should eat her soup.   
  
“I’m sorry, Nico-chan.” Honoka said, her voice a bit hoarse from lack of use. “I don’t want to eat anything right now.”   
  
A gasp resounded from the occupants of the room.   
  
Yukiho sighed. “She’s been like this since yesterday. She doesn’t want to eat, she’s just thirsty all of the time.”   
  
“I can’t help it.” Honoka mumbled sheepishly, bowing her head. “I just don’t think I could eat anything without throwing it back up.”   
  
“That’s why you should eat the chicken noodle soup! It’s…”   
  
“Leave her alone, Nico.” Eli stepped further into the bedroom. When Yukiho got up to make room for her, she sat down on the edge of the bed and Honoka leaned into her, her head resting gently on Eli’s chest.   
  
“She has to eat something!” Nico argued, looking around for backup. Nobody gave it.   
  
“I want to sleep.” Honoka murmured tiredly, her eyes sliding shut.   
  
Maki frowned at that. “You need to stay up for a bit. Eli said you’ve been asleep all day.”   
  
“...’m tired.” Honoka grumbled, her eyes falling shut again.   
  
Umi swallowed heavily, her gaze lingering on Honoka’s face. She wished she could take Eli’s place with Honoka but she knew it wasn’t possible. “Is it normal for her to be like this when she has the flu?”   
  
Most of the others shrugged whereas Maki didn’t respond.   
  
Yukiho frowned at how weak and lifeless her sister was. She’d never seen her like that before. She saw Arisa sneak into the room, going to stand further away from the bed than the others.   
  
Eli climbed fully onto the bed and drew Honoka close to her.   
  
Maki briefly noticed that Kotori was no longer at her side but her girlfriend returned a moment later, placing a damp washcloth on Honoka’s head.   
  
“Can we do anything?” Nozomi asked hopefully.   
  
“I think you’ve done enough.” Eli’s words were cold caused Nozomi as well as the rest of the room to do a double take.   
  
Nozomi took a deep breath. “Maki, Kotori, Nico, Yukiho..can you give us some space? I need to speak to Elichi for a moment. Alone. Please.”   
  
Kotori and Nico argued, each stating that they should be there and it wasn’t fair that Umi got to stay but eventually Maki managed to get them out of the room, Yukiho following. Arisa, who hadn’t been mentioned, went with them, closing the door behind her.   
  
“Elichi.” Nozomi took a tarot card from her bag and stepped toward Eli, handing it to her. “This isn’t going away. You know that.”   
  
“Maki seems scared.” Eli murmured as she took the card.   
  
“She should be.”   
  
Eli turned the card over, frowning at the upright tower. “Wait, this means…”   
  
“Disaster.”   
  
Eli stared at the card long and hard but she was distracted from her thoughts by the door opening.   
  
“What about Umi? This isn’t…!” Nico’s protests were cut off by Maki dragging her out again.   
  
“Chika-chan angered the spirits. You have to watch Honoka even if she feels better, Elichi. She’s weak right now.” Nozomi explained hurriedly.   
  
”What do you think is going to happen to her then?” Eli asked softly, not looking away from the card.   
  
“I-I think…” Nozomi’s words stuck in her throat. “I don’t know, I…”   
  
Eli abruptly crumpled up the card in her hand and tossed it at Nozomi. It landed at her feet.   
  
“Leave us alone.” Eli said quietly as she cradled Honoka close to her. She gently kissed the girl’s head. “It’s the flu. That’s all. She’s gonna be fine so just drop this _crap_ , okay?!”   
  
“Eli, Nozomi is just trying to help.” Umi protested, sounding a little irritated herself. “She’s telling you what’s happening. It’s not her fault that she doesn’t understand!”   
  
“I think maybe it’s time to leave.” Eli murmured into Honoka’s hair, her voice barely audible. “Honoka needs rest. And so do I. Tell Kotori and the others I said I’m sorry they couldn’t stay long. They’ll understand.”   
  
Umi looked to Nozomi but even the spiritual third year didn’t have any answers.   
  
Eli waited until the two left before she kissed Honoka’s forehead once more and smoothed her hair back. “I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere, I swear.”   
  
She was sure she felt Honoka’s grip on her shirt tighten at that. Her chest ached and her throat closed up as tears prickled at her eyes. “I’m never going to leave you, Honoka. I swear.”   
  
\----   
  
“Are you sure you’re ready?” Kanan asked uncertainly as she walked up the stone steps with Chika at her side. Her friend looked much paler than she usually did. “We don’t have to do this, Chika. We can go back home.”   
  
Chika swallowed thickly. “I have to. Maybe it’s wrong anyway. Honoka-chan isn’t dead, I know that. She wasn’t dead before so if she is now that means that I-I killed her.”   
  
Kanan reached out and took Chika’s hand, tangling their fingers together. Chika was trembling, she noticed. “You’re not a killer. That’s not you.”   
  
Chika blinked rapidly and nodded her head. She was going to insist once again that Honoka had to be alive anyway but as she turned at the top of the stairs, her heart sank in her chest at the sight of a familiar redhead crouched in front of one of the headstones. She looked older but there was no mistaking that it was Nishikino Maki.   
  
Inching closer, Chika noticed something in the girl’s mouth. A cigarette, she realized in surprise after a moment. She was dressed all in black. A black jacket, dark jeans and black boots. Sunglasses rested neatly atop her head.   
  
Chika’s heart wrenched as she noticed Maki’s hair, pulled up into a neat side ponytail. It was a lot neater than Honoka’s used to be but Maki’s hair was longer now. It suited her, somehow. And yet it made Chika uncomfortable to see Maki like that.   
  
Chika watched as Maki picked up a stone and placed it carefully on the headstone.   
  
“Kotori wanted to come.” Maki spoke quietly, her voice rougher than Chika was used to hearing it. “But she had an exam so I told her to stay. Besides, I hate her seeing me smoke.” She drew the cigarette from her mouth and exhaled a cloud of smoke. “Lost my singing voice by the way. So that sucks. You’d be so pissed at me if you were...anyway, I got into the pre-med program. Decided to go for neurology. I want to find a cure for this bullshit brain disease. I was surprised there wasn’t one when it gets to the stage yours was at...stupid world, I guess.”   
  
Chika squeezed Kanan’s hand, hard.   
  
Maki paused for a moment, turning her eyes briefly skyward before she looked back to the headstone in front of her. “I haven’t told Kotori yet. That I want to go for neurology. I think she might suspect it but I don’t want to upset her, you know?”   
  
Chika took a deep breath and walked over to Maki, Kanan going with her. When she got closer she noticed that Maki was taller than she had been when she was younger. She must have hit a growth spurt or something. “Ma...Nishikino-san?”   
  
Maki looked up sharply, having not noticed anyone nearby. She narrowed her eyes at Chika. “What?” She growled in annoyance. “If you’re looking for a fucking autograph you can back the hell off. I’m busy.”   
  
Kanan flinched at the angry tone of Maki’s voice. Dia had mentioned that the ex-pianist of Muse had awful social skills.   
  
Chika didn’t seem fazed. “N-Not at all. I’m a...an old friend of Honoka-chan’s. I know your name because of Muse of course but…” She noticed Maki flinch at the mention of Muse and cleared her throat. “I’m just visiting. I don’t want anything.”   
  
Maki huffed out a sigh. “Whatever.”   
  
Chika looked down at Honoka’s headstone, her stomach churning at the sight of Honoka’s name. “I hadn’t seen her in a while.” She lied. “I didn’t know she was…gone. W-What happened? I-If you don’t mind me asking.”   
  
Maki noticeably gritted her teeth, her jaw clenching. “She had a glioblastoma. By the time the doctors caught it there was nothing they could do. Nothing anyone could do...”   
  
Chika glanced briefly at Kanan who was listening to Maki silently. “A glio...what? What is that?”   
  
“Brain cancer.” Maki answered, not meeting Chika’s gaze. “It usually takes a long time to develop. Honestly it should have been the case that she got it in her forties but for some reason she got it when she was fucking sixteen. She hadn’t even left high school yet, damn it!”   
  
For the first time, Maki’s voice rose and Chika took a wary step back.   
  
“Anyway.” Maki took a shuddering breath. “It didn’t take long for it to get worse. Usually it only takes around twelve months to kill someone but hers was advancing far quicker. After the first few months it started to press against her optical nerve. That definitely stunned the doctors. She still wanted the trip to New York though. For the memories, she said. So we’d...” She cursed under her breath as her voice cracked. Quickly, she wiped at her eyes. “In the end Eli took her place as the leader for the Angelic Angel performance. Then Honoka forced herself to do the Sunny Day song. And the song I wrote. Maybe if she hadn’t done our last live she would have died peacefully instead of...the way she did. It destroyed our group. We all went our separate ways. Though some of us had to go further than others.”   
  
Chika bit her lip as tears clouded her vision. “What?”   
  
“Only me and Kotori stayed in Tokyo. She can barely talk about what happened. We visit here once a month because Kotori thinks...she can’t not do anything for Honoka. But it hurts her.” Maki bit her lip, her throat tight and her eyes stinging as she thought of Kotori’s pain. “Um...Hanayo went to Osaka. Eli couldn’t deal and she went back to Russia. Practically broke up her friendship with Nozomi. I don’t know what she’s doing now to be honest. Nozomi moved to England and Umi followed her after she graduated. Those two are together now, I think. I’m not sure. Rin threw herself into the track team, running off her anger. She’s in America now. Nico took a modelling job and got a huge deal in Paris. We haven’t contacted each other for three years and counting. Even Kotori and Umi barely talk now. I think it hurts them too much with Honoka gone.”   
  
Chika pressed her hand to her mouth, tears streaming freely from her eyes. “I-I didn’t know. S-So Muse…”   
  
“Muse was Honoka’s.” Maki cut in sharply. “There is no Muse without her. She was the glue of our group. We didn’t realize it until we didn’t have her anymore.”   
  
Chika turned into Kanan’s arms, pressing her face into the older girl’s chest.   
  
“Do you want some advice, Chika?”   
  
Chika looked up sharply at Maki’s question. “How do you know my name?”   
  
Maki didn’t answer her directly. “You should be glad that Eli is in Russia. The way she was after Honoka died, I really think she’d want to kill you if she ever saw you. She thinks you took the love of her life from her. She’s not wrong. Not really. As for my advice, I know you must be feeling guilty. Honoka said you would be if you ever came looking but don’t ever _ever_ approach Kotori. I won’t be responsible for my actions if you do.”   
  
Kanan stepped in front of Chika. “Hey, don’t threaten her.” She warned though her voice was weak. “This isn’t her fault!”   
  
“Oh, you must be the one who reminded Honoka of Eli.” Maki said, looking Kanan over. She hadn’t paid much attention to her until now. “Honoka told me what Chika did. That she forced her out of her body and that’s when everything got screwed up. Why do you defend her? All she does is hurt people and play with people’s feelings.”   
  
“Maki, I didn’t mean to hurt you.” Chika said, her voice hitching. “It wasn’t…”   
  
“You didn’t hurt me. Are you kidding? You did me a favor. I love Kotori. I’m talking about Umi’s feelings. And Eli’s feelings. And hers.” Maki pointed at Kanan who looked shocked. “Honoka told me you used her for her body. For a distraction.”   
  
“Chika, let’s go.” Kanan took Chika’s hand again and glared at Maki. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”   
  
“Yeah, I don’t.” Maki muttered. She went to toss her cigarette to the ground but glancing back at Honoka’s grave thought better of it. She pinched it between two fingers, making sure it was extinguished before she put it into her pocket to throw away later. “Do you mind? I need to say my goodbyes before I leave.”   
  
“Right, sorry.” Kanan mumbled, surprised by Maki’s sentimental streak. She tugged Chika away and together, the two of them walked back down the stone stairs leading up to the row of headstones Honoka’s was amongst.   
  
\----   
  
_1 week later (Honoka’s side)_

  
It was Honoka’s first day back at school and Eli was running late. She had promised that she would be there to walk to school with Honoka in the morning, having been unable to stay the previous night. She’d been awake late, worrying though and so she had hit the snooze button on her alarm clock that morning. That was how she found herself sprinting toward Honoka’s house now, having skipped breakfast and left right away.   
  
She turned the corner onto Honoka’s street and found her walking slowly toward her, her bag strewn over her shoulder.   
  
Honoka looked tired but she beamed at the sight of Eli coming toward her. “You came.”   
  
“Of course I came.” Eli reached Honoka and hugged her gently, pressing a gentle kiss to the side of her head. “How are you feeling?”   
  
“Better. Still tired though.” Honoka answered softly. She allowed herself to relax into Eli’s embrace, revelling in the warmth.   
  
“It’s probably just from being bed ridden for the past week.”  Eli said, gently stroking Honoka’s hair. She noticed with a sinking feeling that it was down again. “Your hair is down. Is everything...okay?”   
  
“I’m not her, if that’s what you’re asking.” Honoka murmured tiredly. She blushed as she continued. “My muscles are still sore so I’m...well I was having trouble tying my hair this morning. I was going to ask Nozomi to help when I got to school.”   
  
“Oh. Do you have a hair tie?” Eli pulled back and Honoka held her wrist up. Taking the hair tie, Eli scooped up a section of Honoka’s hair and tied it for her. “There. I’m no hair stylist but you look as pretty as ever to me.”   
  
“Eli-senpai…” Honoka grumbled, her cheeks turning ever redder.   
  
“I’m just being honest.” Eli softly brushed her fingers over Honoka’s cheek and leaned in to give her a gentle kiss. “I could give you a piggy back ride to school.”   
  
Honoka gave a soft laugh at that. “I’m too heavy for you to carry me all the way. Besides, I don’t want to worry Umi-chan and the others by looking weak.   
  
“You barely ate anything last week.” Eli pointed out, her brow furrowing slightly. “And you’re not heavy anyway. If Umi or anyone asks, I’ll say I made you do it. Even though you can walk perfectly fine. Please? I want to help.”   
  
“Fine.” Honoka rolled her eyes, a small smile tugging at her lips. “But if I get too heavy you have to put me down.”   
  
“Deal. Come on, I’ll help you up.” Eli turned her back to Honoka and leaned down slightly. She waited for Honoka’s arms to go around her neck before she carefully grasped the back of her thighs and stood up straight, picking her up.   
  
As Eli started to walk, Honoka yawned and rested her chin against Eli’s shoulder. Breathing in, she caught the scent of Eli’s shampoo. “Eli-senpai smells nice…” She murmured, her eyes closed. She held as tightly as she could to the blonde, which at the moment wasn’t very tight at all. “Hey, Eli-senpai?”   
  
“Hmm?”   
  
“I love you.” Honoka whispered faintly.   
  
Eli’s step faltered at the simple admission but she answered within seconds. “I love you too.” As they continued on, she cleared her throat and spoke up again to fill the silence. “I’m surprised Kotori and Umi aren’t here to walk you to school.”   
  
“Uh...they kind of don’t know I’m going back.” Honoka said hesitantly. “I didn’t want to let them down if I couldn’t go. Plus, if I was well enough I wanted it to be a surprise.”   
  
Eli sighed but she wasn’t surprised. “Well at least you told me.”   
  
“I’m not going to keep anything from you anymore.” Honoka said solemnly. “I promise.”   
  
Eli smiled softly at that. She was glad to hear she wouldn’t have to worry. She stopped and turned her head, brushing her lips against Honoka’s cheek.   
  
\-----   
  
Umi watched as Nozomi paced back and forth in front of her. She’d bumped into her on the way to school that morning, surprised that Nozomi was planning to get there so early. Umi herself had done so because she was taking over Honoka’s duties as student council president. It pained her to do so, not because she didn’t want to do it but because Honoka wasn’t there to. Honoka had been so surprised and excited when Eli had chosen her of all people to be student council president. It had meant a lot to Honoka that Eli had trusted her so much.   
  
Now that she thought about it, Umi wondered how she had never seen the depth of Eli’s feelings for Honoka. She trusted her, respected her and despite the fact that she was Honoka’s senior, looked up to her.   
  
“Nozomi?” Umi spoke as Nozomi stopped and heaved a sigh. “What’s wrong?”   
  
“I just wish she would listen to me.” Nozomi said in annoyance as she turned to face Umi. “She hasn’t called me in over a week. She doesn’t speak to me at school. She won’t speak to me after school.”   
  
“Well you have been busy with me most days.” Umi offered with a sheepish shrug. Somehow talking things through with Nozomi made her feel a lot better about the situation. Besides that Kotori was fairly wrapped up in Maki at the moment so she could empathise with how lonely Nozomi felt.   
  
“Oh?” Nozomi raised an eyebrow.   
  
“Not like that!” Umi exclaimed, a blush rising to her cheeks.   
  
Nozomi laughed and stepped forward to give Umi a light hug. If only to make herself feel better. “Who said I was even talking about sex, Umi-chan? You have a very imaginative mind. Straight to the gutter.”   
  
“You insinuated it.” Umi grumbled.   
  
Nozomi drew back though her arms lingered around Umi’s waist. “I don’t know what to do, Umi-chan.” She admitted, suddenly serious. “Honoka-chan is in trouble and nobody knows. Elichi is in denial about it. She refuses to listen. Nobody really believes me. Even Nicocchi...”   
  
“I believe you.” Umi disagreed quietly. She hugged Nozomi, tightly this time and felt the girl release a shuddering breath as she relaxed into her.   
  
“I don’t know how to help.” Nozomi choked out. Umi was surprised to feel tears touch her skin. Nozomi’s tears. “I’ve been trying since this started but I haven’t done anything. And Elichi is angry with me. She blames me, I know she does.”   
  
Umi tightened her hold on Nozomi and squeezed her eyes shut willing herself to be strong. Just for a few minutes. “I’m here. You have me to help and I’m not going anywhere, I promise.”   
  
Nozomi nodded against Umi’s shoulder and pulled back after a moment, quickly wiping her tears away. “I’m sorry, I just...I don’t want anything bad to happen to Honoka-chan.”   
  
“I know.” Umi whispered, a sad smile tugging at her lips. Everyone in Muse loved Honoka. They would all be heartbroken in their own way if she was hurt or sick. “We’ll figure it out.”   
  
Nozomi nodded once more, encouraged by Umi’s confidence. They still had some time to fix it. As long as Honoka didn’t switch again. “Thank you, Umi-chan. I don’t know what I would have done without you over the past week.”   
  
Umi shook her head. “That’s what friends are for, right?”   
  
\---   
  
Honoka wasn’t sure how she had made it through practice but she had, until the very end. As soon as it was over she’d excused herself to the changing rooms while the others had lingered on the roof, talking amongst themselves about Love Live.   
  
“Don’t be weak.” She mumbled to herself, staring down at the ground from where she sat on one of the benches. Her legs were trembling, her throbbing head held in her equally shaky hands. “You have to do this, you have to make it to Love Live.”   
  
She closed her eyes, trying to ignore the fact that the room was spinning around her. Nothing could stop the aching in her head though and she whimpered, clenching her hands in her hair.   
  
She wasn’t sure how long she sat there, muttering to herself before she felt warm arms go around her. She hadn’t even noticed anyone enter the room.   
  
“It’s just me.” Eli soothed when Honoka flinched. She gently kissed her girlfriend’s head. “It’s just me, I’m right here.”   
  
“I’m so weak, Eli-senpai.” Honoka whimpered, turning to bury her face in Eli’s chest. She felt Eli’s hand come up to gently stroke the back of her head. “I feel like I can’t do anything. My head hurts and my legs feel weak and I’m dizzy a-and…”   
  
“You just got back. It’s normal not to feel completely better yet.” Eli soothed gently. “I’m here, don’t worry.” She noticed that Honoka didn’t look like she felt much better. “Hey, let’s have a sleepover. We can all spend the night at the school before Love Live, hmm?”   
  
Honoka sniffled softly. “Okay.” She drew back only briefly before she leaned in to kiss Eli again, a needy and raw kiss that took Eli by surprise. She kissed back though, whimpering softly as Honoka pressed closer, her tongue slipping past Eli’s lips.   
  
Honoka squeezed her eyes shut, trying to focus on Eli rather than the pain she felt. “Let’s go to your house tonight.” She said in a breathless whisper as she drew back. “Arisa’s going to be with Yukiho and your parents won’t be home, right?”   
  
“Y-Yeah.” Eli said, her chest fluttering with anticipation at the insinuation in Honoka’s tone. “Of course you can come over. Are you sure you’re up for it though.”   
  
“With you? Always.” Honoka gave Eli another quick peck on the lips. “I might need you to take the lead though.”   
  
“I can if you want me to.” Eli said quietly. She pressed her forehead to Honoka’s, smiling softly. “Maybe you could stay over?”   
  
“I would love to.” Honoka said with a sigh. She hadn’t spent the night with Eli since the previous week. Even on Saturday, Eli had been busy. “But my parents are really...overprotective at the minute.”   
  
“I’ll tell them you’re with me. They know I’ll take care of you. Right?” Eli gently ran her fingers down the slope of Honoka’s neck and over her shoulder. “I won’t let anything happen.”   
  
“I kn…” Honoka faltered as Eli leaned in, pressing a gentle kiss to her neck. She tilted her head, sighing softly. “I know. But my parents don’t even know we’re together yet. As far as they know we’re just friends. So it’s not like they would trust you more than they would trust Umi and Kotori.”   
  
“Ouch.” Eli teased, pressing her hand to Honoka’s lower back to draw her closer. She kissed her once more before she stood up. “Come on.”   
  
Honoka gasped in surprise as Eli picked her up, bridal style. Nevertheless, her arms went around the blonde’s neck. “Wha…?”   
  
“We need to take a shower before we go home. So let’s take one.” Eli said, walking in the direction of the showers. “Don’t worry, I’ll be there to keep you up if your legs are weak.”   
  
“L-Like together? Under the same…” Honoka blushed at the thought. “Umi-chan might faint if she sees us.”   
  
“Who cares?” Eli grinned.   
  
“Senpai!” Honoka exclaimed, drawing a laugh from Eli.   
  
“What? I’m just helping my girlfriend heal.” Eli smirked.   
  
Honoka rolled her eyes. “You’re so bad.” She cupped Eli’s face in her hands and kissed her deeply. “But you feel so good.”   
  
Eli giggled into the kiss as they reached the showers and she set Honoka down. She watched Honoka try to take off her shirt, wincing as she lifted her arms too high.   
  
“Hey.” She gripped the front of Honoka’s shirt and drew her into a kiss. “Let me undress you, okay?”   
  
Honoka blushed. She could already feel Eli pulling at the drawstrings of her shorts. She nodded silently and let Eli silently undress her. It was a little embarrassing, especially with Eli looking at her the way she was but finally she was completely naked. Eli stripped herself within seconds and then took Honoka’s hand.   
  
“Ready?”   
  
“Y-Yeah.” Honoka stuttered, still a bit nervous about being naked in front of Eli. She was more distracted by staring at Eli though, who was just as naked as she was.   
  
Eli smiled and led Honoka deeper into the shower stall. She guided her gently back until her back hit the cold tiled wall.   
  
“E-Eli-senpai.”   
  
“Trust me.” Eli whispered as she turned the shower on.   
  
Honoka felt hot water hit her feet before she found herself pulled away from the tiled shower wall. Her shoulders and head were hit by hot water before Eli leaned in and crashed their lips together. As Eli kissed her under the cascade of water, Honoka leaned into the blonde. Eli’s hand around her waist was stabilizing but the hand that crept up to her breasts had her feeling weak at the knees.   
  
She whimpered, wrapping her arms around Eli’s neck despite the ache it caused her biceps. She didn’t care, she just needed to feel as close as she could to her girlfriend.   
  
Eli’s arm went around Honoka’s back, wanting to make sure she had a firm grip on her in case she stumbled.   
  
Honoka gasped as Eli moved down to kiss and nip at her neck instead.   
  
“Oh, Umi-chan is going to freak…”   
  
Honoka’s eyes snapped open at the sound of Kotori’s voice. She caught a glimpse of Maki and Kotori, both wearing towels.   
  
“Well we could go to another stall…”   
  
“Maki-chan!”   
  
Eli sighed and rested her forehead upon Honoka’s shoulder. That had definitely killed the mood. Slowly, she turned, crossing her arm in front of her chest to hide at least something. “Do you mind? We’re...showering.”   
  
“Oh come on, it’s not like we’re judging you. You just got to the showers before us.” Maki huffed.   
  
Eli rolled her eyes. “So go into the other stall and do whatever.”   
  
“Seriously? I can’t do anything with Kotori while I can hear you two in here.” Maki pointed out with a grimace. “Honoka can get pretty loud.”   
  
“Eli-senpai…” Honoka said softly. The room was spinning again, her legs trembling beneath her. “Senpai.”   
  
Eli glared at Maki. “What is that supposed to mean.”   
  
“Definitely not what you’re thinking!” Maki exclaimed quickly. “I heard you in the student council room a couple of weeks back.”   
  
“Eli!” Honoka exclaimed before her legs gave out beneath her.   
  
Eli spun around at Honoka’s call and just in time, managed to catch Honoka before she hit the floor.   
  
“Honoka!”   
  
“Honoka-chan!”   
  
Maki and Kotori called out at the same time. Both of them stepped into the stall, Kotori carefully getting to her knees next to Eli and Honoka.   
  
Maki grabbed a towel from the shower stall door and went to Honoka, carefully placing it over her. “Honoka, are you okay?”   
  
“Y-Yeah. I’m just...my knees are weak from being in bed for so long. Can you help me up, Eli-senpai?” Honoka asked softly. She still felt a bit dizzy but stumbling in front of her friends was just embarrassing.   
  
Maki bit the inside of her cheek. She wanted to go to her father and ask him to help Honoka. To carry out more tests on her before it was too late. She couldn’t though. Honoka had already gotten up with Eli’s help.   
  
Eli wrapped the towel around Honoka.   
  
“Let’s go Eli-senpai.”Honoka said, tightly grasping Eli’s arms. “To your house. Please. I need you.”   
  
Maki twitched. That was too much information. She reached down, helping Kotori up and when she looked up again Eli and Honoka had already left the showers. She sighed heavily. “Damn it.”   
  
“Are you okay?” Kotori asked in concern, looking between where she’d last seen Honoka, and Maki. She could tell her girlfriend was stressed about something but she didn’t know what.     
  
Maki groaned and pulled Kotori into the stall. She needed her own distraction.   
  
TBC 


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter of A Name In The Wind, thanks for the comments and I hope you guys enjoy the chapter! :)
> 
> Warning(s): Mildly explicit sexual scenes, Angst, Medical triggers?

Umi leaned back in her seat, feeling contentedly full after having eaten. “Thank you for inviting me over.” She said quietly as she watched Nozomi set down her own chopsticks. “I didn’t know you could cook.”  
  
Nozomi chuckled under her breath.”I have to. I live by myself so nobody else is going to cook for me.” She teased. She shifted in her seat, turning more toward Umi. “I’m glad you came over. Do you still have some time before you need to leave?”  
  
“Um…” Umi briefly checked her watch. “I have another hour before I need to head back home.”  
  
“Good.” Nozomi smiled softly as she got up and gathered their dishes together. She noticed Umi reached for her own but stopped her. “You’re a guest, it’s fine.”  
  
Umi relented and let Nozomi take her bowl. She watched as the third year walked to the kitchen and noticed for the first time the way Nozomi’s shirt clung to her hips. “Wow, you’re really...fit. Like...I don’t think I’ve ever noticed how pretty you are. More than pretty really.”  
  
Nozomi’s step faltered briefly but she quickly continued on her way to the kitchen to put the bowls down. Umi covered her mouth, cursing herself. She didn’t know where that had come from.   
  
Nozomi finally turned to face Umi, raising an eyebrow. A smirk tugged at her full lips as she made her way back to her. “So you’re saying you think I’m...sexy?”  
  
“Uh…” Umi blushed deeply at the question. She’d never thought of anyone besides Honoka like that. “Y-Yeah but it doesn’t mean anything.” She forced a quick laugh. “I think other girls are um...s-sexy too. Agh, this is shameless!”  
  
Nozomi bit her lip to keep from laughing as Umi buried her head in her hands.   
  
“It’s okay.” Nozomi sat down next to Umi and reached up to gently draw the girl’s hands from her face. Their eyes met, Umi’s hesitant and unsure. “I know how you feel about...Honoka-chan. But that doesn’t mean you aren’t going to be attracted to other people.” Her eyes flitted to their joined hands and she gently brushed her thumbs over the back of Umi’s. “Do you feel that shiver? The same one I do?”  
  
Umi swallowed thickly. She wasn’t sure what Nozomi was saying. She nodded hesitantly.   
  
Nozomi smiled and gave Umi’s hands a gentle squeeze. “It’s normal. You don’t have to worry about what I think.”  
  
“Why?” Umi asked softly, her brow furrowing slightly.   
  
Nozomi stared at Umi for a moment. The younger girl really was clueless when it came to relationships. “Because I feel the same way.” She noticed Umi flinch slightly in surprise. “We don’t have to do anything about it though. Not if we’re not ready.”  
  
“Right.” Umi said, breathing a sigh of relief.   
  
“Good.” Nozomi leaned in and pressed her lips briefly to Umi’s forehead before she drew back. Umi looked briefly shocked before she relaxed, a slight smile tugging at her lips.   
  
Nozomi gasped as Umi gripped her shirt and pulled her closer. For a second she thought that Umi was going to pull her in and kiss her but Umi stopped instead, an unsure look on her face. “I-Is it okay if I kiss you?  
  
“If it’s okay if I can kiss you.” Nozomi said hesitantly. She reached up, lightly touching Umi’s cheek. “I’ve never really kissed anyone before.”  
  
Umi looked surprised. “Really?”  
  
“Yeah. Why do you look so surprised?” Nozomi asked softly, conscious of how close they were. “It’s not like I’ve ever had a girlfriend.”  
  
“I don’t know. I told you, you’re just…” Umi leaned in closer, her nose brushing against Nozomi’s before she tilted her head slightly. “Really…”  
  
Nozomi closed her eyes as Umi’s breath washed over her lips. “So are…” She was cut off by Umi gently kissing her, just the light brush of their lips together. She kissed back, her heart hammering in her chest at the increase of pressure.   
  
She felt a hand slide to the back of her neck and then she was being drawn closer, Umi’s other hand going to her shoulder to steady her.   
  
Umi slowly drew away, meeting Nozomi’s eyes. “Was that okay?”  
  
“Yeah.” Nozomi whispered, her lips still tingling. “It was...nice. Really nice actually. How was...was it okay for you?”  
  
Umi couldn’t help but laugh at that. She wasn’t used to seeing Nozomi so subdued. “It was really nice.” She said, throwing Nozomi’s words back at her. “Really really nice. I would...do it again. If you wanted to.”  
  
“I would want to.” Nozomi said without hesitation. She reached forward, playing with the drawstring of the hoodie Umi was wearing. “We probably shouldn’t tell people though. Not that we’re dating or anything but...we don’t want to make things complicated.”  
  
“Complicated?”  
  
“Uh...yeah.” Nozomi’s chest warmed as Umi cocked her head in confusion. “It’s not that I don’t like the idea of being...more than friends with you, it’s just...Elichi is pissed at me right now. Really really pissed. And I don’t want that to affect you being able to see Honoka-chan. Does that make sense?”  
  
Umi thought about that for a moment. “No. Eli couldn’t keep me away from Honoka.”  
  
“Huh?” Nozomi raised an eyebrow. “So you want to tell people?”  
  
“Yes.”  
  
Nozomi felt a swell of pride at how blunt Umi was being. It was strange for her so she could only assume it was because Umi felt comfortable with her. She drew Umi close, pressing another light kiss to her lips. “Alright. We won’t keep it a secret.”  
  
Umi smiled and gave Nozomi a brief hug. “I have to go and um...call Kotori. I’ll see you tomorrow?”  
  
Nozomi nodded, forcing a small smile to her lips. She wished she could call Eli and tell her but her best friend was far too angry with her. She got up to walk Umi to the door where they hesitated for a minute, not sure what to do.   
  
Finally, Umi giggled and kissed Nozomi’s cheek. “Goodnight.”  
  
“Goodnight.” Nozomi echoed softly as she opened the door.   
  
Umi left, feeling a little bit giddy. Taking out her phone she dialled Kotori’s number. Her best friend answered after a couple of rings.   
  
“Hello?”  
  
“Hey, Kotori.” Umi said, feeling a bit nervous now that she’d heard Kotori’s voice. “Um...are you alone?”  
  
“I’m with Maki-chan.” Kotori admitted hesitantly. “But we can talk, it’s fine. What’s up? Is everything okay?”  
  
“Yeah, I just...wanted to tell you something.” Umi said softly. “I um...I kissed Nozomi. And now I think we’re together.”  
  
“You WHAT?!”  
  
Umi flinched at the loud exclamation. She heard a quiet murmur in the background but couldn’t catch what was being said.   
  
“I’ll tell you in a minute, Maki-chan.” Kotori said, a bit calmer this time. She addressed Umi after. “How was it? Did you like it? Do you like her?”  
  
“I-I think so. Kissing her was nice.” Umi blushed and glanced around to make sure nobody heard her. Thankfully the street was mostly empty. “She’s really mature. I-I mean her body is...you know.”  
  
“Okay, it’s getting weird for me to know both of my best friends prefer older women and I’m dating a younger girl.” Kotori said with a laugh. “I’m happy for you though. I was worried when...you know. With Honoka-chan.”  
  
Umi sighed in response. She couldn’t say she was over Honoka but she knew she had no chance. Honoka was in love with Eli.   
  
“Don’t be like that Maki-chan, you’re a mature younger girl.” Kotori continued, apparently addressing an unamused response from Maki. “But you’re still immature sometimes.”  
  
“Shut up.” Umi heard Maki grumble.   
  
“Not until you tell me what you’re reading.” Kotori retorted. She sighed after and Umi assumed Maki had turned away or refused. “Secretive as always…”  
  
“Distracted by your girlfriend, as always.” Umi countered in a teasing tone.   
  
“Yeah, I uh…” Kotori seemed to take a shuddering breath. “I-I have to go. Talk to you tomorrow, Umi-chan.”  
  
“I…” Umi trailed off as Kotori abruptly hung up on her. Shaking her head, she slipped her phone back into her pocket.   
  
\----  
  
“Maki-chan!” Kotori berated though she couldn’t bring herself to brush Maki off. Not with the girl kissing and nipping at her neck like she was.   
  
“What?” Maki mumbled, lightly nipping at Kotori’s earlobe. “I wanted you to pay attention to me.”  
  
“I always pay…” Kotori trailed off with a yelp as Maki pushed her down onto her back. She was about to teasingly complain but then Maki was kissing her, hard and passionate, a hand sneaking underneath her shirt to trace over her skin.   
  
“Maki…” Kotori mumbled weakly in protest as she turned her head slightly. “We can’t have sex when my mom’s home.”  
  
“Why not?” Maki smirked, her hand moving to Kotori’s chest. She was satisfied to find that Kotori wasn’t wearing a bra to bed. “I can be quiet.”  
  
“But I haven’t told her we’re…”  
  
Maki silenced Kotori with another kiss. “Shh.” She smiled softly. “She won’t come in here if the light’s off, will she? We’re fine.”   
  
Kotori finally broke into a smile. “You’re meant to be the responsible one.” She murmured before she kissed Maki again.   
  
\----  
  
“Are you sure it’s okay for you to stay over tonight?” Chika asked softly as she watched Kanan drop her backpack onto her bed. They had stopped by Kanan’s house and mentioned that she would need to spend the night at Chika’s house. Her parents had been fine with it, fortunately.   
  
“Of course it is.” Kanan said, relieved that Chika was finally talking to her. She had barely said a word since they had left the cemetery. Not even on the long train ride back home. She had just stared vacantly out of the window.   
  
Unfortunately it seemed that Chika was content to slip back into her silence as she paused next to the window, staring out of it. Not wanting that to happen, Kanan walked over to her, curling her arms lightly around Chika from behind.   
  
“Hey.” She whispered, resting her chin lightly on Chika’s shoulder. “This isn’t your fault, you know. You couldn’t have known that would happen. It’s not like you could give her a brain tumor. It’s not...it’s not possible.”  
  
“Neither is switching bodies with someone.” Chika countered softly. She sighed, unwittingly leaning back into Kanan. “Even if she had a tumor, I obviously rushed it along so I...I don’t know what to do, Kanan-chan. I’ve really fucked up this time.”  
  
Kanan inhaled sharply. It wasn’t often that she heard Chika curse. “We’ll figure it out.” She said softly. She turned her head, brushing her lips against Chika’s cheek. “If you changed the past once you can do it again.”  
  
Chika swallowed thickly against the lump in her throat. “You’re always here for me.” She whispered. She turned in Kanan’s arms and looked up at her, her eyes prickling with tears. “And you always know what to say.”  
  
“Well I’ve been your friend since we were kids. Of course I know what to say.” Kanan said with a small smile. She reached up, intending to brush Chika’s hair aside but her hand was intercepted by Chika’s instead. “What’s wrong?”  
  
“Nothing.” Chika said softly, holding Kanan’s hand with both of her own. She flashed her a watery smile. She leaned up slightly, catching the slight hitch of Kanan’s breath as the girl’s other arm tightened around her waist. “Is it okay if I kiss you?”  
  
Kanan’s eyes widened. “H-Huh?”  
  
“I’m sorry, Kanan-chan. I-I just need...I want to feel good. I want a distraction.” Chika confessed, her voice growing thick with emotion. She knew she probably didn’t deserve it but she knew Kanan could take her mind off everything that was happening. Off Honoka and Maki. “Please?”  
  
Kanan felt her mind short circuit at Chika’s use of the term ‘feel good’. She didn’t know what that meant exactly but the implications were clear. “Alright. Kiss me.”  
  
Chika broke into a warm smile as she received Kanan’s approval. Leaning up she didn’t hesitate to press her lips to Kanan’s. She remember when they had kissed for the first time and she hadn’t felt anything. Now the simple feeling of their lips pressing together was enough to send a tingle of excitement rushing through her.   
  
She let go of Kanan’s hand and wrapped her arms around the girl’s neck instead, having to lean up a little on her tiptoes to do so. Kanan held her closer in turn and Chika whimpered as she felt a light nip to her lower lip. It was intoxicating, the way Kanan could take the lead so easily even when Chika herself had made the first move.   
  
She let Kanan lead her away from the window and across the room. Toward the bed, she assumed. She was proven right when the backs of her knees hit it and Kanan gently pushed her down onto it. Biting her lip, Chika shuffled back and watched as Kanan climbed onto the bed with her, straddling her waist.   
  
“Is this…” Kanan looked worried for a second but then Chika grabbed the front of her shirt and dragged her down into a deeper kiss, one that was more about passion than comfort. As Chika’s lips parted, Kanan eagerly pressed her tongue past them and pressed down so that she was flush against her friend. She could feel Chika’s heart beating frantically against her chest, no doubt mirroring Kanan’s own.   
  
Chika’s hands went to Kanan’s shirt and she urgently pulled it up, over the other girl’s head. She glanced briefly down, disappointed to find that Kanan was wearing a bra this time, unlike the last time they had kissed. She kissed her again, reaching around to fiddle with the latch of her bra. She quickly found that kissing Kanan while trying to unlatch her bra was a mistake though. She couldn’t think beyond the feeling of Kanan’s lips and tongue against her own.   
  
“Chika…” Kanan mumbled, turning her head slightly. She was surprised when Chika’s attention immediately shifted to her neck. Something seemed different about her friend. It was like she’d been instilled with confidence. “Do you want me to take it off?”  
  
Chika froze for a moment and then drew back, nodding quickly.   
  
Kanan moved her hand to Chika’s cheek and smiled softly at her. “Slow down, okay? Just let me take the lead.”   
  
“Okay.” Chika whispered, giving another nod.   
  
Kanan leaned back, reaching behind her back to unlatch her bra, which she proceeded to tug off and toss to the side. She watched as Chika’s gaze flitted her breasts. “I guess you’re a boob girl, huh?” She murmured as she reached down. She grasped the hem of Chika’s shirt and carefully tugged it off of her. Unlike Chika she didn’t have any trouble taking the other girl’s bra off either, throwing it onto the ground next to them.   
  
Chika hissed softly as Kanan slowly cupped a breast in her hand.   
  
“You’re sure you want this?” Kanan mumbled, leaning down to press her lips light to the centre of Chika’s chest. She didn’t hesitate to trail down until she could brush her lips over Chika’s nipple.   
  
“Yes.” Chika hissed, arching into Kanan’s touch. “Please, Kanan-chan. I just want you.”  
  
Kanan smiled against Chika’s breast and let herself push aside her doubts. She trailed her hand down to Chika’s shorts and pressed down lightly between her legs.   
  
Chika whimpered loudly at the feeling, her hips bucking ever so slightly.   
  
Feeling a tug, she chanced a look down, her cheeks burning with embarrassment when she noticed Kanan tugging off her shorts and panties.   
  
Kanan briefly got off the bed to rid Chika of the last of her clothes before she moved back to her. She kissed her again, her fingers threading into her friend’s hair. She felt Chika kiss her back, relaxing once again under her touch and slowly pulled away.   
  
“Do you want me to make you feel good?” Kanan asked in a whisper, close enough that her lips still brushed repeatedly against Chika’s when she spoke.   
  
“Y-Yes.” Chika stuttered out. “But I-I don’t know if I can...um…”  
  
“Not inside.” Kanan promised quietly, the words embarrassing even her. “I could use my mouth? If that’s okay with you? It won’t hurt, I promise.” To hide her blush, she leaned down and kissed Chika’s neck, focusing her attention on the soft skin there for a moment.   
  
“I-I uh…” Chika gasped softly as Kanan sucked sharply at her neck. Feeling the graze of teeth she wondered if there would be a mark left there. Her hands roamed over Kanan’s muscular back, the softness of her warm skin a contrast to the play of muscles. “Yes. Please.”  
  
Kanan trailed her lips down, over her collarbone, her stomach and her hip before she reached Chika’s centre. She pushed Chika’s thighs apart as she settled herself between them and gently pressed a kiss to the girl’s mound.   
  
“Natural orange, I knew it.” She teased lightly.   
  
“Shut up!” Chika exclaimed in embarrassment.   
  
“Don’t be embarrassed.” Kanan chuckled softly. She turned her head, trailing her tongue over Chika’s thigh. “The only way this is going to work is if we’re not embarrassed.”  
  
“R-Right, can you please just…” Chika trailed off with a loud gasp at the first brush of Kanan’s tongue against her. Her hips jerked at the feeling and she squeezed her eyes shut. It was unlike anything she’d ever felt. She’d touched herself before of course, on the odd occasion but this felt completely different. Every brush of Kanan’s tongue sent tingles of pleasure coursing through her, leaving her whimpering and gasping.   
  
Kanan was relieved that she actually had some experience in this area. She had slept with Mari for a while and other girls too, especially during her second year, so she wasn’t exactly clumsy in the bedroom. She grasped Chika’s thighs, pulling her closer to her face, eliciting a yelp of surprise from the girl.   
  
Kanan couldn’t help but smirk at that. Remembering her promise not to go too far, she resisted the urge to press her tongue into Chika and moved up instead, lightly sucking at the bundle of nerves. She felt Chika’s hands go to the back of her head, fingers twisting into her hair and grasping tightly. It stung, a little bit Kanan couldn’t say that she minded the pain. She pressed herself closer, feeling the movement of Chika’s hips grow jerkier until finally Chika moaned loudly and tensed beneath her.   
  
As Chika fell back to the bed, Kanan leaned back, a little surprised by how easy it had been to bring Chika to climax. She moved up to her, wiping at her mouth with the back of her hand.   
  
“Well?” She asked, a little bit breathless. She collapsed next to Chika who had thrown her arm over her eyes, her cheeks red. Her chest was heaving slightly too. “Was that...okay?”  
  
“It was….” Chika uncovered her eyes and looked at Kanan. “Good. Really good. How are you so good?”  
  
Kanan gave a nervous laugh and pressed a gentle kiss to Chika’s cheek. “A lady never tells.”  
  
“What does that have to do with you?”  
  
“Hey!” Kanan lightly prodded Chika in the side.   
  
“Come on, tell me!” Chika said insistently. She self consciously grabbed her blankets and tugged them over herself, hiding her nudity.   
  
“Fine.” Kanan sighed. “I’m not a virgin. Mari took that.”  
  
“W-What?!”  
  
“Then during my second year I started messing around. Dia knows.” Kanan said, looking a little bit guilty. “She would always tell me I have to stop breaking girls hearts. But I would always tell them it would just be sex, you know? I didn’t give them the wrong impression.”  
  
“Right…” Chika mumbled thoughtfully. She wondered why she felt jealous suddenly. “It’s a good thing you don’t have to tell me stuff like that. I mean I know this is just...sex. I-I’m actually glad you’ve told me. At least this way I’m not taking your first...anything. I’m just another girl, right?”  
  
Kanan bit her lip. It seemed like Chika was looking for some kind of reassurance. “Right. But you’re one of my closest friends too so I wouldn’t say you’re just another girl.”  
  
“But it would be the same if you slept with You-chan or Riko-chan, right?” Chika asked hopefully. “They’re your close friends too, especially You-chan. So it would be the same.”  
  
“I...wouldn’t sleep with You. Or Riko.” Kanan said after a moment of hesitation. “I don’t like them in that way.”  
  
“What about Dia-san?”   
  
Kanan looked away. “Uh…”   
  
Chika’s eyes widened. “You didn’t!”   
  
“Shut up, we were drinking.” Kanan said, her face turning red. “And she gets frisky when she’s drunk so…”  
  
“Kanan-chan is a stud.” Chika said with a soft laugh as she pulled the blankets tighter around herself. She averted her gaze from Kanan to her balcony doors.  
  
Kanan noticed, her smile dimming slightly. “Thinking about Riko?”  
  
“That’s bad, isn’t it?” Chika asked awkwardly. “I was just...thinking about how different this would be with her. It was nice with you but before this I could only see it happening with Riko-chan.”  
  
“What would be different?” Kanan asked softly, noticing the hint of sadness in Chika’s voice.   
  
“Afterwards. She would kiss me afterwards and I would tell her I love her.” Chika whispered, her gaze lingering longingly on the doors. “And she would say the same back and we’d...cuddle and fall asleep. It’s pretty cheesey.”  
  
“Guess I screwed up then.” Kanan said softly, looking down at the bed.   
  
“No, it’s fine.” Chika said quickly, shaking her head. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to...I just miss Riko-chan. I guess this really was another terrible decision after all, huh?”  
  
As Chika got up and wrapped her blanket around herself, Kanan sat up, her chest tight. She watched as Chika crossed the room. “Chika…”  
  
“You should stay out of this from now on.” Chika said softly as she paused next to her closet. “This...thing with me and Honoka-chan. I want you to keep your distance from it.”  
  
“That’s not what you need.” Kanan argued quietly. “You need my help.”  
  
“I don’t want help, Kanan-chan.” Chika turned to face Kanan again. “Just...please. For a while, just keep your distance from this.”  
  
“From you, you mean. You want me to stay away from you.” Kanan concluded. She got up and grabbed her shirt from the floor.   
  
“Yes.” Chika pulled her blankets tighter around herself as Kanan put her shirt on. “I think we’ve made it clear that I make bad decisions. Everyone would be better off if they stayed away from me.”  
  
“What? All of Aqours?” Kanan raised an eyebrow as Chika nodded. “Good luck getting Riko and You to leave you alone.”  
  
“It’s working now, isn’t it?” Chika asked sharply. She felt a stab of guilt as Kanan flinched. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry, it’s just...this isn’t what I need. I thought it was, I thought you...I-I don’t know. I don’t know what I was thinking. I’m such an idiot.”  
  
Kanan stepped forward as Chika bowed her head. She stopped though, remembering Chika’s request for her to back off. “What do you need?”  
  
Chika shook her head. She wasn’t even sure she could answer that. It was selfish of her to want what she did. She took a shuddering breath, feeling the tears that had gathered in her eyes spilling free. “I want someone who just listens. I want someone I can tell everything to. I want someone who...who loves me no matter what b-because I _hate_ myself so much right now, I-I need Riko-chan…”  
  
Kanan crossed the room to Chika and hugged her tightly, her own eyes brimming with tears. “I-I’m sorry I’m not Riko. I can’t be her. But besides that I’m all of those things you described. You can talk to me, Chika. You can tell me anything you want, okay?”  
  
Chika shook her head against Kanan’s shoulder. “It’s not the same. I-I’m sorry, Kanan-chan.”  
  
Kanan closed her eyes. She wondered if Chika even knew how much it hurt when she said things like that. She wanted to tell her that she could be what Chika needed, if she just gave her a chance. She didn’t though. “You should talk to Riko. If you need me to be there when you talk to her, I can be. But I think she’s what you need right now.”  
  
Chika took a shuddering breath and nodded against Kanan’s shoulder.   
  
\----  
  
It wasn’t exactly worrying for Honoka to be a few minutes late to class, even in the middle of the day, but when a few minutes turned into ten then twenty Umi and Kotori started to get worried. Honoka didn’t show up for the entire hour of the lesson and when it was finally over the two of them shot out of their seats, gathering their things together within seconds before they bolted for the door.   
  
“Where do you think she could be?” Umi asked urgently as she hurried down the corridor with Kotori. They were verging of running but she couldn’t bring herself to care.   
  
“I-I don’t know.” Kotori answered anxiously. Honoka had definitely been at school that day and unless she was sick she wouldn’t have gone home early.  Even then she would have said something before she left. “Maybe she’s with Eli-chan. You know how those two can be.”  
  
Umi felt a split second of relief at the obvious conclusion Kotori had drawn up. That is until she turned the corner and ran right into Eli.   
  
“Whoa, what’s going on?” Eli asked in amusement as she grasped Umi’s arms to steady her. “Where’s Honoka?”  
  
“We were hoping she was with you.” Kotori said worriedly as she glanced around the hallway. “She skipped our last class. We haven’t seen her. When was the last time you saw her?”  
  
“I don’t know, I-I think this morning maybe? I didn’t see her at lunch.” Eli said, her stomach sinking at the thought of where Honoka could be. “I thought she’d be eating with you two.”  
  
“We thought she would be with you.” Umi admitted anxiously. They hadn’t noticed anything amiss when Honoka had bolted from the classroom before lunch. They’d thought she was going to find Eli.   
  
“What’s going on?”   
  
Eli, Umi and Kotori looked up at the sound of Nico’s voice to find the girl in question along with Maki walking toward them.   
  
“Maki-chan.” Kotori sighed in relief at the sight of Maki and closed the distance between them, reaching out to take her hand. She felt Maki lightly lace their fingers together and felt slightly calmer. “Honoka-chan is missing. None of us have seen her since lunch and she even skipped class.”  
  
Nico noticed the panicked look on Eli’s face and placed a hand on her arm. “Calm down. She has to be around here somewhere.”  
  
“How can we calm down?!” Eli exclaimed, her heart pounding frantically against her chest. She, unlike most of the others, knew that Honoka still wasn’t feeling completely better. She’d been getting headaches and feeling weak and dizzy. “I’m supposed to be her girlfriend and I don’t know where she is!”  
  
“Nozomi…” Umi mumbled to herself, quickly typing out a quick message to Nozomi as Nico continued to try to calm Eli down. Kotori still seemed worried but she seemed to be doing better with Maki there. She received a reply within a few seconds and her eyes widened. She turned to run.   
  
“Where are you going?!” Maki called after Umi in concern.   
  
“Just follow me!” Umi called back without looking back at them. She didn’t say Nozomi was with Honoka. She knew Eli would be annoyed if she knew that. “Come on!”  
  
She heard the sound of footsteps behind her as the three others ran after her. Somehow they managed to get to the student council room without anyone seeing them. She opened the door and stepped inside, faltering when Nozomi looked up at her. The lights in the room were turned off, the curtains drawn as much as possible but Umi could still see clearly.   
  
Usually the sight of Honoka sitting in someone’s lap would have made Umi yell about how indecent it was. Usually she would be blushing like crazy. She imagined that if it was anyone else with Nozomi she would feel at least a hint of jealousy but she didn’t. There was nothing even remotely intimate about the way Honoka was slightly trembling in Nozomi’s arms, her head tucking into the crook of the third year’s neck.   
  
“I didn’t know what else to do.” Nozomi said, her voice a bit shaky. For the first time, Umi noticed how alarmed she looked. She looked to be on the verge of tears herself.   
  
Eli walked over to them and scooped Honoka into her arms, walking a short distance away before she sat herself down.   
  
Umi went to Nozomi who stood up and stepped forward to hug her without hesitation.   
  
“I didn’t know what to do.” Nozomi whispered to Umi once more, her voice a bit choked with emotion.   
  
“It’s okay.” Umi murmured back, her eyes on Honoka and Eli. Honoka was whimpering softly as she pressed herself as much as she could into Eli’s embrace. Umi noticed her best friend’s hands were clenching Eli’s shirt so tightly that her knuckles were turning white and the shirt was bunched up in her fists.   
  
Nico closed the door, relieved that Hanayo and Rin weren’t there to see this.   
  
Eli looked up at Maki, silently pleading with her to do something.   
  
Maki let go of Kotori’s hand and walked over to the two of them. She didn’t know how much she could help but being the daughter of a doctor, she did know some things.   
  
“Honoka.” She said softly, sitting down in the seat next to Eli’s. “Can you look up for me?”  
  
Honoka gripped Eli tighter, causing the blonde to wince slightly. Eli didn’t mind the slight pain. She knew it was nothing compared to what Honoka was feeling. Besides that, if Honoka felt safer holding onto her as tightly as she could, that was fine with Eli.   
  
Maki reached around as best she could to feel Honoka’s forehead. “She doesn’t have a fever.”  
  
“Then why the hell is she crying?” Eli growled.   
  
“Eli!” Nico warned though she made sure to keep her voice down so as not to startle Honoka.   
  
“I-I don’t know.” Maki admitted, glancing briefly at Kotori. Her girlfriend hadn’t moved. It seemed like she didn’t know what to do. “Maybe her head is hurting. Like a headache. But this bad...if it’s a headache it’s probably more like a migraine.”  
  
“Honoka-chan doesn’t get migraines.” Kotori spoke up quietly, nervously wringing her hands. “I-I mean she never has before.”  
  
Maki nodded in understanding. “Then it’s strange. Migraines don’t happen for no reason, only if…”  
  
“Maki-chan.” Nozomi interrupted, pulling away from Umi’s embrace.   
  
“Uh…” Maki was slightly confused as Nozomi gave a slight shake of her head. “If she has her period coming. O-Or...sex?” Eli glared at her and she gave a sheepish shrug. “What? It causes headaches sometimes…”  
  
“Alright, alright. Everyone get out of the way.” Nico declared as she moved forward. She sat at Eli’s other side. “I have siblings, I know how to deal with this.”  
  
“I have a sister.” Eli pointed out skeptically. “And she’s my girlfrie-”  
  
“Eli.” Umi interrupted, drawing Eli’s attention toward her. “Please just let her try. I don’t know what else to do.”  
  
Eli sighed but nodded her head.   
  
“Honoka.” Nico’s voice softened as she reached out to gently touch Honoka’s back. She felt the girl shift slightly under her hand. “Does your head hurt?”  
  
Honoka was still for a moment before she nodded her head.   
  
“Alright. Can you look at me for a minute?” Nico asked, her voice calm and soothing. Much calmer than any of the others had ever heard her sound before. She slid her bag off of her shoulder and rummaged through it. “It’ll only be a second, I promise.”  
  
Honoka hesitated for a moment before she slowly pushed herself back from Eli and turned to look at Nico. Her eyes were red, letting the others know she’d been crying for some time. “It hurts, Nico-chan.”  
  
Nico gently slid a pair of sunglasses onto Honoka’s face. “That should help a little.” She said quietly, relieved that she still carried around the disguise. An idol needed to be prepared after all. She reached up, lightly running her hand over the top of Honoka’s head. “Is that better?”  
  
“A-A little.” Honoka said, sniffling softly. She leaned back into Eli but her grip was considerably looser.   
  
Eli sighed in relief and kissed the side of Honoka’s head before she made eye contact with Nico. “Thank you.”  
  
“Nico-chan in big sister mode is impressive.” Maki mumbled as she made her way back to Kotori’s side. She pulled Kotori close to her side, breathing a sigh of relief of her own. She was still worried but she chose to remain silent, hoping she was wrong. Maybe it _was_ just a headache.   
  
\----  
  
Chika leaned against her balcony, closing her eyes as she basked in the quiet music she could hear from Riko’s room. She’d been listening for thirty minutes or so, lost in the melody of Riko playing piano. Since they had met she’d quickly grown addicted to listening to Riko play. It somehow calmed her and made her heart race at the same time.   
  
When the music stopped, Chika opened her eyes, disappointed for a moment before she saw Riko walk out onto her own balcony.   
  
“I thought I heard you out here.” Riko said with a small smile. “Is everything okay?”  
  
Chika nodded, unable to keep herself from returning Riko’s smile “I just wanted to listen to you play for a while. It makes me feel better.”  
  
Riko’s brow furrowed in concern. “Is something wrong? I-I have noticed you haven’t been yourself lately. You can talk to me about it if you want.”  
  
Chika hesitated. That was all she wanted. “I really want to tell you. I want...no, I need your help.”  
  
“I’m listening.” Riko braced herself with her arms on the balcony. “You can tell me anything.”  
  
Chika took a deep breath. She briefly thought of Kanan but shook her head. She could do this on her own. Besides, she hadn’t seen Kanan all day. Even when they were all practicing, Kanan hadn’t turned up. It was strange for her to miss practice, something a number of her friends had expressed. Especially Mari and Dia.   
  
Mari had asked Chika if she knew where Kanan was and Chika was ashamed to admit that she had snapped a little at the blonde. She wasn’t sure why, she had just been overcome with annoyance for a moment. She hoped that the blonde hadn’t been too upset by that. She would have to apologize when she next saw her.   
  
“Chika?”  
  
Chika jolted at the gentle prompt and realized that she’d gotten lost in her thoughts for a moment. “Oh, sorry. I-I um...I do have something I want to tell you. Kanan-chan is the only other person who knows.”  
  
“Kanan-chan…” Riko echoed slowly, recalling seeing Kanan and Chika together. “What is it?”  
  
“It’s about why I’ve been acting so odd lately.” Chika said hesitantly. She saw Riko nod for her to go on and after a second, did so. “Um...you see I’ve been having some problems. Spiritual problems. I-In the sense that I’ve been switching bodies with someone else. Kousaka Honoka actually. It started a couple of months ago. I would wake up in her body and she would be in mine and we’d have to stay like until we went to sleep agai-”  
  
“Chika-chan, Kousaka Honoka is dead.” Riko reminded Chika as gently as she could.   
  
“I-I know. But she wasn’t before I started switching bodies with her. I did something that…” Chika began to anxiously wring her hands in front of her. She wasn’t explaining herself very well. “I switch bodies with Honoka in the past. Two years ago. And I think I did something t-to make her sick. By forcing a switch. I went to Tokyo and spoke to Maki-chan about it.”  
  
“Nishikino Maki?” Riko asked in surprise.   
  
“Yes!” Chika answered, relieved that Riko seemed to be following along.   
  
“Right.” Riko straightened up and took a deep breath, trying to wrap her head around what Chika was saying. “I see. So were you possessed by this spirit...by Kousaka-san when you kissed Kanan?”  
  
Chika flushed at the question. “Ah...well no but it’s complicated.”  
  
“Chika-chan, why can’t you just tell me the truth?” Riko asked, frustration audible in her voice. “No Eli, no spiritual stuff. Just tell me what’s going on. Kissing Kanana wasn’t anyone else’s fault, _you_ did that. I just want to know why. I want to know what’s going on. Please tell me.”  
  
“I already told you the truth!” Chika exclaimed loudly. “Why don’t you believe me. Y-You think I’m crazy, don’t you?”  
  
“Chika-chan!” Riko watched as Chika hit the balcony with her palm in frustration. “I-I’m not saying that. I just think you’re stressed and you’re not thinking straight but if you tell me why you’re stressed maybe I’ll be able to help. Is it Kanan-chan? Or Aqours?”  
  
“NO!” Chika paused for a moment, staring at Riko as her eyes stung with tears. “I thought you would believe me, Riko-chan. I thought I could talk to you. That I had to because I-I need you to believe me more than anyone.”  
  
“Chika-chan…” Riko’s voice softened as Chika bowed her head. “I’m sorry, I just...you’re telling me that you went back in time and killed Kousaka Honoka. I want to help you, I really do but…”  
  
“Kanan-chan believed me.” Chika’s voice was slightly accusatory as she looked up at Riko. “Why can’t you?”  
  
Riko winced. That stung. “Chika-chan, I…”  
  
“Forget about it. I’m going out.” Chika turned, trying to stem her flow of tears and hurried back into her bedroom and down the stairs.   
  
Riko watched from her balcony as Chika left the house and sprinted away. “Damn it…”  
  
\----  
  
Kanan couldn’t help but look for Chika as she took her usual early evening run. Running had always helped to clear her head but her mind seemed to be fixed on her friend as she jogged along the beach, her ponytail swaying behind her.   
  
She almost regretted telling Chika to go to Riko. She wished she had been honest about her own feelings but it had seemed like Riko really was what Chika needed. She certainly couldn’t help the girl anymore, not when Chika didn’t want her to. Kanan grimaced as she remembered Chika telling her she needed distance between them.   
  
She stopped, her breathing slightly quickened as she took a moment to look around. The sun was setting already, leaving the sky with an orange glow. Kanan took a deep breath of crisp fresh air, her training clothes clinging to her. She wiped sweat from her forehead and prepared herself to keep going. She had only taken a few steps when she noticed a figure, huddled with her knees pulled to her chest. She didn’t think anything of it until she was within a few feet, when she noticed it was Chika.   
  
“Chika?” Hearing a soft sob from the girl, Kanan quickened her pace until she reached her. She ducked down next to Chika, placing a hand on her shoulder. “Hey, Chika.”  
  
Chika looked up and Kanan inhaled sharply when she noticed tears on Chika’s cheeks. “What happened?”  
  
“R-Riko-chan, she...she…” Chika burst into tears again and surged forward, wrapped her arms tightly around Kanan’s body.   
  
“It’s okay, I’ve got you.” Kanan cast a quick glance around as she hugged Chika back. Slowly, she pulled away, much to Chika’s evident dismay. It didn’t last long though as she stood, leaning back down to scoop Chika up into her arms.   
  
Chika wrapped her arms around Kanan’s neck, not questioning her friend as she took off down the beach at a jog. Chika wasn’t sure where they were going and she didn’t ask. She only realized what was going on when they got to the dock and Kanan carried her onto her family’s boat.   
  
Kanan took Chika into the cabin and gently sat her down. She crouched down in front of her, taking her hands. Chika seemed to have calmed down a little, at least.   
  
“She doesn’t understand.” Chika whispered without Kanan having to say anything. “She doesn’t believe me.”  
  
Kanan frowned and moved to sit next to Chika. She put an arm around the girl’s shoulder, gently drawing her close.   
  
“She didn’t call me a-a liar or anything.” Chika sniffled, resting her head against Kanan’s shoulder. “Riko-chan is too nice for that. But she didn’t believe me. She says I’m stressed and I’m looking for a way to deal with it. Like I’m crazy o-or something.” She looked up at Kanan, tears in the corners of her eyes. “Do you think…?”  
  
“No.” Kanan interrupted with a resolute shake of her head. “You’re not crazy. I know you’re telling the truth. Even if I hadn’t spoke to Honoka I would know. You’re Chika, you wouldn’t lie about this. Besides, we both have two timelines in our heads. We know the truth.”  
  
“I-I thought Riko-chan would believe me.” Chika admitted, clenching her hands into fists atop her lap. “All of this is so stressful. Honoka-chan is dead and love live...argh. I want to fix this but I don’t how?! HOW?!”  
  
“Hey, calm down.” Kanan reached down, slipping her arm under Chika’s legs and gently drew her into her lap. She gently rubbed her friend’s back. “We’ll find a way, I promise. There has to be a way.”  
  
Chika sighed softly. She didn’t know if there was a way to fix it. “I can’t do this by myself. I don’t know how. And Riko-chan isn’t...I know she can’t.”  
  
“You have me.” Kanan said softly, wrapping her arms gently around Chika. “You always have me. I don’t want to keep my distance from you, Chika. I want to be there for you, however you need me.”  
  
Chika bit her lip and looked away. “Like with those other girls?”  
  
“Huh?”  
  
Chika’s cheeks burned with embarrassment. “W-When we slept together you said there were others. Other girls you slept with…”  
  
“I did.” Kanan said slowly. She was silent for a moment, trying to figure out why Chika was bringing that up. “But those other girls aren’t you. You’re not like them, you’re my friend. I’m never going to leave you behind like I did with them. I promise.”  
  
Chika nodded, ashamed by her own jealousy. She didn’t know why she felt jealous. Kanan was just her friend after all. “Will you...kiss me?”  
  
Kanan answered by leaning in and kissing Chika’s face in her hands, kissing her softly. She felt Chika respond for just a few seconds before the girl drew back.   
  
“I-Is this okay though? Even if we’re not together?” Chika asked uncertainly.   
  
Kanan resisted the urge to ask Chika if being together was a possibility. She knew that Chika wouldn’t want that. “I think so. Is it okay with you?”  
  
Chika kissed Kanan hard in response, sliding her arms around the taller girl’s neck as she pressed close to her. She shifted her position so that she was straddling the third year instead and felt Kanan’s hands move to her hips as she kissed her back.   
  
Chika unbutton her shirt, slipping it off and down her arms, forcing her to break the kiss with Kanan. Only for a few seconds though. She eagerly captured Kanan’s lips once more, feeling hands tugging her jean shorts down her hips.   
  
Maybe it wasn’t a good idea to get involved with Kanan like this, but it was enough to take her mind off everything else she was worrying about so she set her second thoughts aside, for now.   
  
\----  
  
By the time training was over, Honoka felt like she was going to pass out. Breathing heavily, she leaned over, placing her hands on her knees. Practicing for KiRa KiRa sensation had been rough but deep down she knew she shouldn’t be feeling so drained by it.   
  
She felt a hand come to rest on her back and looked up to see Eli looking at her in concern. “I’m fine. Just a bit tired. Don’t worry.”  
  
“Okay.” Eli handed Honoka a bottle of water as the girl straightened up. She noticed that the others were standing around, talking between themselves but Nozomi and Maki were watching them too, worried looks on their faces.   
  
“Oh, I have to talk to Umi-chan.” Honoka declared suddenly, moving away from Eli. She began to hurry across the rooftop to Umi, probably too quickly. “Umi-chan! I…” She trailed off as everything around her seemed to blur and spin. Her knees buckled and she felt herself falling followed by a sharp pain in her head. Everything went black after that.  
  
Eli, who had bolted toward Honoka as soon as she saw her stumble, froze as she saw and heard Honoka’s head hit the floor. She felt someone shove past her and saw Maki rushing toward Honoka, dropping to her knees next to her.   
  
“Shit, shit...she’s bleeding.” Maki said as she turned Honoka onto her side, into the recovery position.   
  
Eli watched, her heart thudding frantically against her chest as the rest of Muse gathered around Maki and Honoka.   
  
“Is Honoka-chan alright, nya?!” Rin exclaimed frantically.   
  
“Oh my god, she’s bleeding.” Umi said, lifting her hand to her mouth. “K-Kotori, get my phone! We have to call an ambulance!”  
  
“We need someone direct!” Maki exclaimed quickly as she finished inspecting Honoka’s wound. It looked fairly deep. “Kotori, can you get my…” She trailed off as her phone was shoved into her hand. “I’m going to call my dad. Watch her please.”  
  
Kotori nodded and knelt down next to Honoka while Maki walked away to make the call.   
  
Eli inched forward, her eyes glued to Honoka’s face. She felt like her entire body was chilled to the core as she moved forward. Like she couldn’t move her legs fast enough.   
  
Rin and Hanayo had both moved back a bit, in tears but Nozomi, Nico, Umi and Kotori were gathered around Honoka.   
  
“S-She’s breathing, right?” Eli asked anxiously, her voice slightly breathy. She stared hard at Honoka’s chest, struggling to see the rise and fall. “Can someone please check?”  
  
Nozomi leaned down, putting her ear to Honoka’s chest and listening. “She is. It’s faint but she’s breathing.”  
  
Eli crouched down next to Honoka, placing her hand as lightly on her arm as she could. “I’m here, Honoka.”  
  
Nico turned toward Maki who was still on the phone. “What are you waiting for? Call the fucki-” She heard sirens off in the distance and it occurred to her that the paramedics might not know where to go. She got to her feet and ran for the door to the roof.   
  
“Maki-chan.” Kotori looked up at Maki as she hung up the phone. “She’s barely breathing. What do we do?”  
  
Maki paced over to Kotori and reached down to place a hand on her shoulder. She didn’t know what they could do. She wasn’t a doctor. “The ambulance is coming.”  
  
Eli looked up, leaving her hand resting on Honoka’s arm. “What’s going on?”  
  
“My father’s going to meet me at the front.” Maki explained, giving Kotori’s shoulder a gentle squeeze as she felt her tremble beneath her hands. “I’m going with the paramedics.”  
  
“I’M COMING WITH YOU!” Eli exclaimed quickly.   
  
“What?!” Kotori looked up sharply. “You can’t. If Maki-chan is going only one other person can go. It has to be me or Umi-chan. We’re her best friends.”  
  
“I’m her girlfriend.” Eli growled angrily. “I’m going. She would want me there and you all know it.”  
  
“I don’t care.” Kotori replied just as irritably. “If anyone should be by Honoka’s side it’s me or Umi-chan. We’ve been with her since we were kids.”  
  
“I’m her fucking GIRLFRIEND!”  
  
“STOP IT!” Maki yelled, effectively silencing them. She heard the door to the roof open and then footsteps rushed toward them. “Eli, you’re coming. The rest of you will have to meet us at the hospital.”  
  
Kotori scoffed and shrugged off Maki’s hand before she moved out of the way to let the paramedics work.   
  
“Kotori, I’m sorry.” Maki said as she followed Kotori a few steps away. Nozomi seemed fine to fill the paramedics in. “If I could I would allow you to come but only two people are allowed. Please just meet me there. I need you. And so does Honoka.”  
  
Kotori shook her head and turned away, not fast enough for Maki to miss the tears brimming in her eyes though.   
  
Maki felt her own throat close up with emotion. “I’m sorry. I have to go.”  
  
As the paramedics lifted Honoka, Maki grabbed Eli’s hand and tugged her after them as they made their way quickly to the stairs.   
  
“Fuck.” Kotori growled, kicking at the ground beneath her feet.   
  
Umi frowned as she made her way to Kotori’s side. “Kotori, she is her…”  
  
“I don’t care, Umi-chan!” Kotori exclaimed, whirling around to face Umi. “She’s our best friend! If I woke up in a hospital I would want to see you and Honoka-chan!”  
  
Umi opened her mouth to say something but she was silenced by the principal stepping out onto the roof. “Sensei…”  
  
“I’ve called Honoka’s parents.” Kotori’s mother said. “Kotori, Umi. Come with me, I’ll take you to the hospital.”  
  
Kotori and Umi nodded and quickly left with Kotori’s mom.   
  
“Nozomi, come on.” Nico grabbed Nozomi’s arm and tried to tug her to her feet. “We’re taking the subway.”  
  
Nozomi shakily got to her feet and let Nico pull her along.   
  
“You two need to get home!” Nico called to Rin and Hanayo. “I’ll text you to tell you how Honoka is, okay? Don’t worry.”  
\---  
  
You carefully climbed aboard Kanan’s family’s boat, having figured that Kanan would be there. Kanan wasn’t at home, nor was she running along the beach so You assumed she would be on the boat. She needed to speak with her, urgently. Something was bothering Chika and given that the two had been spending a lot of time together lately it seemed likely that Kanan would know what was wrong.   
  
She made her way to the cabin, which was dimly lit and paused when she heard a moan. “Kanan?” She mumbled to herself, frowning. She inched closer to the door, slightly concerned about what she’d find on the other side. It was ever so slightly ajar but when she reached it, she pushed it further open.   
  
She almost gasped at what she saw and quickly hid herself against the cabin. She took a deep breath then looked around the doorway again. Chika was straddling Kanan’s lap, her shirt and shorts on the floor. She was braless too, her panties hanging on her ankle as she kissed Kanan. Kanan herself was only dressed in joggers, her torso completely bare.   
  
You clamped a hand over her mouth in an attempt to stay quiet as she watched Kanan’s hand slide between Chika’s legs, fingers sliding up and into her. Her mind flitted to the many times she’d fantasized about doing exactly this with Chika.   
  
“Kanan-chan…” Chika spoke huskily, drawing her lips from Kanan’s to speak.   
  
“You’re dripping, Chika…” Kanan whispered as Chika began to grind her hips down to meet her thrusts.  
  
You whimpered into her hand as she watched Kanan lean down to lick and suck at Chika’s breasts. Her cheeks flamed red as she felt a throbbing south of her stomach. She pressed herself as close to the wall as she could, watching Kanan’s hand go to Chika’s ass, fingers digging harshly into soft looking flesh.  
  
You felt her breathing grow heavy as her hand inched close to her own shorts. She shouldn’t, she knew, but she wasn’t sure she could control herself. As she listened to Chika moan, she guiltily let her hand slip into her shorts, her fingers brushing over her sodden core. She moaned into her hand and kept her eyes glued to Kanan and Chika as Chika moved frantically in time with Kanan. Another moan, louder this time, tore itself free from Chika’s throat. She shuddered and then slowed to a stop.   
  
Just when You thought it was over though, Chika slid off Kanan’s lap and reached for the girl’s sweats and underwear, tugging them down.   
  
You quickly drew her hand from her shorts, her face flushed with shame. Quickly, she turned on her heel and hurried off Kanan’s family’s boat as quickly as she could. She took off at a sprint, worried that Chika or Kanan might have heard her get off the boat.  
  
She ran all the way home, not stopping until she was safely inside. She didn’t know what was happening with Chika but now it was clear that talking to Kanan about it was out of the question.   
  
“You, how was your talk with Kanan-chan?” You heard her mom call out to her.   
  
“FINE!” You called back quickly before she made her way to her room. She slumped down on her bed and groaned in frustration. “This is fucked up.”  
  
She couldn’t wrap her head around what had gotten into Chika. She’d been acting odd enough but to top it off she was sleeping with Kanan. And Riko wouldn’t even tell her what was wrong.  
  
She sighed loudly. “I don’t know what to do.”  
  
\-----  
  
Nozomi watched Maki pace back and forth in the waiting room of the hospital, muttering under her breath. She seemed frantic. Worried as she was, Nozomi was too busy with her own anxious thoughts to comfort Maki.   
  
She sought out Kotori and found her sitting next to Umi, holding onto her hand. Umi’s other hand was clutching her own. Nozomi sighed. Obviously Kotori wouldn’t be able to help Maki anytime soon.   
  
Nico looked spaced out too, where she was leaning against the wall.   
  
“Maki-chan, stop pacing!” Kotori finally exclaimed, frustrated by her girlfriend’s inability to stay still.  
  
Maki stopped short and turned to Kotori. “What?”  
  
“Just stay still. Pacing isn’t helping and you’re making me dizzy!” Kotori answered irritably.   
  
There was a tense moment of silence before Maki went right back to pacing, her hands shoved deep into her  jacket pockets.   
  
“Maki-chan!” Kotori exclaimed again.   
  
Nico looked up sharply. “I’m going to lock you two in a room to screw out your frustration if you keep fighting.”  
  
“Nico-chan!” Kotori exclaimed irritably. She turned to Honoka’s parents and Yukiho, who were sitting behind them. “I’m sorry about her.”  
  
“It’s fine.” Honoka’s father said while Honoka’s mother seemed too absorbed in her own thoughts.   
  
Kotori sighed and turned to face forward again. She noticed Maki looking at her and crossed her arms in front of her chest.   
  
“We need to talk.” Maki moved forward and took Kotori’s arm, tugging her out of her seat. “We won’t be long.”  
  
Kotori rolled her eyes but she didn’t resist as Maki tugged her away down the hallway. After a couple of minutes of walking Kotori found herself being dragged into an on call room and Maki locked the door behind them.  
  
“What’s wrong?” Maki asked as Kotori pulled away from her. “What did I do?”  
  
“You know what you did.” Kotori frowned, crossing her arms in front of her chest. “You left me there. Honoka-chan is my best friend and I _wanted_ to go with her. With _you_ but you just left me back there.”  
  
“Eli’s her girlfriend…” Maki said hesitantly. She had hoped that Kotori would have softened on the subject slightly but that didn’t seem to be the case.   
  
“And Umi-chan and I are her best friends!” Kotori pointed out, her face turning red with outrage. “Just because she’s having sex with Eli-chan, that doesn’t mean their relationship is more important than my friendship with Honoka-chan. Or Umi-chan’s friendship with her. One of us should have been in that ambulance with her and you know that!”  
  
“I know but I…”  
  
“We love Honoka-chan just as much as Eli-chan does!” Kotori interrupted sharply, her hands clenched into fists at her sides. “We don’t have to be dating her for our friendship with her to be important a-and you’re meant to be my girlfriend, how could you…?”  
  
“KOTORI!” Maki yelled, effectively silencing her girlfriend. “Honoka’s heart stopped in the ambulance, okay?! She almost died and I couldn’t do anything. We had to watch the paramedics use the defibrillator! Eli was crying so hard she _hyperventilated_ , I…do you really think I would want you to see that? Or even Umi? I know how much you love Honoka.”  
  
Kotori felt her anger calm at the sight of tears in Maki’s eyes. It was replaced with panic though, at the thought of Honoka being in such a serious condition.  
  
“Nozomi asked me where Eli was earlier and I said she was with Honoka. She is but she’s not conscious.” Maki’s lower lip trembled and she lowered her gaze. “They had to sedate her, in the ambulance. I didn’t want you to have to see what she did, I knew it could get bad and...I love you too much to let you watch that, okay? It was hard enough for me, I…” She gasped when something collided with her but she realized it was Kotori and gratefully welcomes the embrace. “I was so scared, Kotori. I thought she was going to die, I thought…”  
  
Kotori buried her face in Maki’s shoulder, her own tears spilling from her eyes. “I-It’s okay, Maki-chan. Honoka-chan will be fine. She has to be.”  
  
\-------------  
  
"Maki.”  
  
Maki lifted her head from Kotori’s shoulder to see her father come out to the waiting room, a frown on his face. It had been hours since anyone had told them anything. "Papa.."  
  
"She's breathing now, with some help. Her head is bandaged. You can come and see her though I think her parents should come with me.” He looked to Honoka’s mother and father who had gotten to their feet. “So I can discuss what’s happened.”  
  
“Papa…”  
  
"I'll talk to you later. Honoka is in room 514. Kousaka, Kousaka-san?” Jin waited for Honoka’s parents to join him before he led them away to his office.   
  
Maki, Nico and Kotori started toward the door leading to the ward but Umi and Nozomi hung back.   
  
“Come on, Yukiho.” Umi held out her hand to the younger girl. “We’ll go together. The three of us. Right, Nozomi?”  
  
“Right.” Nozomi said with a small smile.   
  
Yukiho nodded and got up, hesitantly taking Umi’s hand.   
  
Umi shared a worried look with Nozomi before she led the two girls down the hallway to room 514. The others were waiting for them outside of the room.   
  
When Yukiho, Umi and Nozomi reached them, Kotori turned the handle to the door and let herself in. She faltered when she saw Honoka, hooked to an IV with an oxygen mask. She was hooked up to machines too, wires going under her hospital gown.   
  
“O-Onee-chan.” Yukiho’s hand went to her mouth and she took a stumbling step back. Nozomi quickly placed a supportive hand on the girl’s back.   
  
The next thing Kotori noticed was Eli, huddled up on the bed, close to Honoka’s side. She was obviously being careful not to knock any wires out as she was completely still. Even from where Kotori was standing she could see tears on Eli’s face, her hair down instead of up. Eli was in a hospital gown too, she noticed.   
  
Feeling Maki tense up, Kotori held her arm closer to her, trying to soothe her.   
  
Eli looked up at them through teary eyes. “She almost died.” Her gaze shifted to Nozomi. “They said they were going to keep her i-in the hospital. For tests, I-I think they said. They don’t know w-what’s wrong with…”  
  
Nozomi broke away from Umi and went to Eli, ducking down to hug her best friend as tightly as she could. Eli accepted the embrace desperately, crying into Nozomi’s shoulder.   
  
Umi felt tears sting at her eyes as she looked at Honoka. Her best friend didn’t look like herself. She looked frail and lifeless. It wasn’t right. She noticed Kotori had turned into Maki’s arms too.   
  
Vaguely she realized that Yukiho wasn’t at her side anymore. She looked over her shoulder and found that Yukiho had backed up, right to the door. “Yukiho…”  
  
“No!” Yukiho exclaimed. She ran to Honoka’s side, clutching at her arm. “Onee-chan, wake up! This isn’t funny! You’re not supposed to be sick, this isn’t you!” She shook Honoka’s arm a bit too roughly, causing Nico to take a wary step forward. “Onee-chan!”  
  
Honoka didn’t wake up and Yukiho collapsed forward against the bed, crying loudly.   
  
Nico’s heart wrenched in her chest and she moved over, grasping Yukiho’s arm to gently draw her away from the bed.   
  
Umi’s hands trembled at her sides, her heart hammering frantically in her chest. Honoka had been fine a short while ago and now she was in the hospital. She stumbled over to Eli. “E-Eli…”  
  
Nozomi drew away from Eli, both looking to Umi.  
  
“It’s all my fault.” Umi said tearfully. “I’m so sorry. I’m so fucking sorry. I didn’t meant to...”  
  
Eli sat up with some difficult and got off the bed. She grabbed Umi’s hand and dragged her into a tight embrace. “This isn’t your fault. None of it is, it’s _her_ fault. Chika’s.”  
  
Nozomi frowned and stepped away, figuring that Eli wouldn’t want her nearby while she was thinking about Chika.   
  
Kotori and Maki looked up in confusion while Nico sighed in response as she continued to console a tearful Yukiho.   
  
“It’s not her fault either.” Umi said, slowly drawing away from Eli. “I let her kiss me.” She heard Kotori gasp behind her but ignored her. “Like she kissed Maki.”  
  
Maki twitched slightly at the reminder.   
  
“Who the hell is Chika?” Kotori asked, gripping Maki’s hand tightly. “And why is she kissing Maki-chan?”  
  
“Why don’t you ask Nozomi?” Eli growled, looking to Nozomi who shrunk back even further.   
  
Nozomi looked down. “She’s the spirit who switched bodies with Honoka. She was the cause of the Honoka and Maki thing. And she kissed Umi-chan and...and almost broke Elichi and Honoka-chan up.”  
  
“So Honoka never really liked me.” Maki said angrily. “This...spirit was screwing with her relationships and my feelings.”  
  
Nozomi nodded somberly. “I’m sorry, Maki-chan. Chika-chan wasn’t lying about how she felt though. She did like you, in a way.”  
  
“In a WAY?!” Kotori echoed irritably. “What’s that suppose to mean?”  
  
Nozomi glanced at Honoka as Eli, seemingly tired of the conversation, climbed back onto the hospital bed to get close to her girlfriend. It hardly seemed like the time to be arguing. “She...wanted her for her body. Maki-chan reminded her of someone el-”  
  
“Nobody can _have_ her body, she’s not a damn object!”  
  
“K-Kotori…” Maki felt Kotori’s arm go around her waist in a slightly possessive gesture.   
  
“It’s not as though Honoka-chan didn’t do the same kind of thing.” Nozomi said, realizing she was making things even worse for Chika. Not that they could get worse. “They both screwed up.”  
  
“Can we all just stop fighting?” Nico spoke up, somehow silencing the others. “Now isn’t the time.”  
  
Thankfully before they could start fighting again, the door opened and Maki’s father and Honoka’s parents entered the room.   
  
Nozomi’s heart sunk in her chest when she noticed that Honoka’s mom had been crying. She still looked tearful even now. Honoka’s dad looked shaken.   
  
Jin looked to Eli and Honoka and sighed but remembered why Eli had been brought in so he didn’t say anything.   
  
“Mom?” Yukiho broke away from Nico and hurried to her parents in search of answers. “What’s going on? Is Onee-chan going to be okay?”  
  
Hikaru forced a smile to her face if only to look confident for Yukiho. “Nishikino-sensei is going to perform a lot of tests to find out what’s wrong.”  
  
“W-What kind of tests?” Yukiho looked to Maki’s dad and Hikaru nodded for him to go ahead and answer.   
  
“I’m going to perform many tests, including a CAT and MRI scan.” Jin explained calmly.   
  
Maki’s eyes widened. “B-But those tests are for…”  
  
Jin nodded as Maki trailed off.   
  
Kotori looked at Maki, noticing tears in her eyes. If Maki’s dad was doing those kinds of tests he must have noticed something wrong. She pulled Maki close to her as the redhead broke into soft, almost silent sobs. It was obvious that Maki was trying to hold back but couldn’t.   
  
TBC  



	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter of A Name In The Wind, thanks so much for the comments/kudos etc. :)
> 
> Warning(s): Mildly explicit sexual scenes, SEVERE Angst, Medical triggers?

Kanan turned up for practice the next day, her encounter with Chika apparently helping her deal with whatever she had been struggling with. Chika was relieved that Riko showed up too but the redhead didn’t speak to her. Chika herself didn’t say anything either. She wasn’t sure what to say.    
  
Mari asked what was wrong again though she did so nervously as if she expected to be snapped at again. Chika didn’t. She answered calmly this time though she didn’t give Mari an honest answer. She just said she wasn’t sure.    
  
Unable to take another of her friend being mad at her, she went to You’s house right after school, hoping to resolve things between them. She was relieved to find You at her balcony, as if she’d been waiting for her.    
  
“You-chan!” Chika called, cupping her hands in front of her mouth so that You would be able to hear her. “Can I come up?”   
  
You looked down at Chika, her cheeks warming. “Uh...yeah.” She called back. “The door’s unlocked.”   
  
Chika smiled at that and hurried into You’s house and up the stairs. Upon reaching You’s bedroom she found You waiting for her, standing next to her bed.    
  
“What’s going on?” You asked, carefully averting her gaze from Chika’s.    
  
“You didn’t come to practice today.” Chika said quietly as she stepped further into the room. “So I was wondering if something was wrong. You never miss practice.”   
  
“Um...no. Nothing’s wrong. I-I just had a headache, that’s all.” You watched as Chika continued into the room, drifting toward her desk. Her gaze flitted down to Chika’s ass and her cheeks flooded with heat as she remembered Kanan’s hand planted there.    
  
“You’re not mad at me?” Chika asked uncertainly as she finally turned to You. Her heart sank when her friend once more refused to make eye contact. “You are. What’s going on, You-chan? I can’t take falling out with another of my best friends.”   
  
That was enough to catch You’s attention. “Another?”   
  
“Riko. I um...I tried to tell her something personal and she she didn’t believe me. So it’s...I’m not angry with her, I’m just upset. But I don’t think she wants to speak to me.”   
  
“You two will work it out.” You said confidently. She wasn’t sure how they could not work it out, considering how close Chika and Riko had become since they’d met. It was surprising to You that Chika wasn’t doing the things she’d been doing with Kanan, with Riko instead.    
  
Her eyes inadvertently slipped to Chika’s chest as she recalled how Kanan had touched her best friend’s breasts the night before. She quickly looked away. She couldn’t look at Chika that way. Clearly the girl had something going on with Kanan.    
  
“You look all flushed, You-chan.” Chika said in concern as she stepped close to You and placed a hand on her forehead. “Maybe you’re getting sick.”   
  
You squeaked in surprise and shrunk away slightly. She noticed a slightly hurt look on Chika’s face and laughed nervously. “Uh...I just don’t want to get you sick, that’s all. Maybe I should sleep early tonight or something.”   
  
“Okay.” Chika said slowly. She stared at You intently for a moment, trying to read her expression. “You’re sure you’re not mad?”   
  
“Of course not.” You answered with a quick shake of her head. She really wasn’t but she couldn’t tell Chika that she couldn’t look at her without remembering touching herself the night before, while watching Kanan and Chika together of all people.    
  
Chika hesitated, not sure if she should say anything. “Then why won’t you look at me?” She took a small step forward and tentatively reached for You’s hand. Thankfully, You let her take it. “You-chan, if I did something I want to fix it. I-I seem to be screwing up a lot lately…”   
  
You’s eyes flitted to Chika’s and she briefly noticed how worried she looked. Before she could think twice she leaned in and pressed her lips to her best friend’s.    
  
Chika let out a muffled sound of shock before she lightly pushed You away. “Y-You-chan, what the hell?!”   
  
“S-Sorry.” You stuttered, drawing her hand from Chika’s. “I’m sorry, I just...argh!” She threw herself onto her bed, ashamed and embarrassed. “I’m sorry. I-I saw you last night, okay?”   
  
Chika’s eyes widened. “W-What?”   
  
“I went to speak to Kanan-chan, I-I thought she would be on her family’s boat. And I saw the two of you together.” You’s voice was muffled by the pillow she’d buried her face in but Chika understood her perfectly.    
  
“O-Oh.” Chika said, her face gradually turning bright red. “Y-You saw…”   
  
“I saw everything. And heard.” You admitted, refusing to remove her face from her pillow. She couldn’t face Chika now. “Chika, I can’t look at you without think about...seeing that. And hearing that. You’re really loud, you know…”   
  
Chika fidgeted nervously with the hem of her shirt. “So you’re...angry with me?”   
  
“No!” You exclaimed quickly. She pushed herself into a sitting position but still faced away from Chika. “I-I thought it was really...you were really...sexy. Especially the way you…”   
  
“Enough!” Chika exclaimed, grimacing at the thought. “S-So you’re saying you like me?”   
  
“No, not...not really.” You answered honestly. “I like you in the sense that I would...I would think about doing the same thing to you that Kanan-chan did but I wouldn’t want to date you. No offence.”   
  
“I-I only do that with Kanan-chan.” Chika said hesitantly. “I couldn’t do it you, You-chan. N-Not that I think you’re asking!”   
  
“So you like her?” You turned her head ever so slightly so that she could hear better. “Kanan-chan?”   
  
“Well...no. I like Riko-chan, I think.” Chika answered reluctantly. “But I’m sleeping with Kanan-chan.”   
  
“Eeeh?!” You turned around so quickly that she almost toppled off the bed. “So why are you sleeping with her if you don’t like her?! I-I know I said the same about you but I wouldn’t really…”   
  
Chika shrugged her shoulders. “She kissed me and it was...well it was bad. And then she kissed me again and it wasn’t so bad. It got better until it was really good. And she’s good at...more sexual stuff too. It just happened.”   
  
“Huh?” You gaped at Chika. “Kanan-chan wasn’t a…”   
  
Chika shook her head. “Neither are Mari-chan and Dia-san. Kanan-chan lost it to Mari-chan.”   
  
“Oh.” You took a moment to mull that over. “So are you going to keep sleeping with her? Kanan-chan, I mean. Is she sleeping with other people? Are  _ you?” _ _   
_ _   
_ “No!” Chika exclaimed quickly. “I mean I’m not, I don’t know about Kanan-chan but I guess it’s okay if she is. She’s not my girlfriend or anything so...”   
  
“Oh, wait. Is that why you snapped at Mari-chan yesterday when she asked you where Kanan-chan was?” You exclaimed in realization. She had known something was going on. She supposed she should have worked it out the previous night.

  
“Of course not. It’s not like I’m jealous or anything.” Chika said quickly. “I don’t like Kanan-chan like that.”   
  
“You could have fooled me with how much you were moaning her name last night. Not to mention I wouldn’t get on  _ my _ knees for someone I don’t…” You trailed off, laughing as Chika swatted her arm.    
  
“Wait, how long were you watching?”   
  
“Uh…” You’s smile slipped away. “Not long. A-Anyway, so do you think you  _ might  _ like Kanan-chan at least?”   
  
“No, I don’t.” Chika sighed and awkwardly rubbed the back of her neck. “So we’re okay? And you’ll be at practice tomorrow?”   
  
“Uh...yeah.” You answered awkwardly. “Are you going to visit Kanan-chan?”   
  
“S-Shut up!” Chika exclaimed in embarrassment. She walked to the door, lifting her hand in a wave. “I’ll talk to you later, You-chan.”   
  
You watched her go, her eyes glued once more to Chika’s ass. “Yeah, later…”   
  
Chika waited until she’d walked a short distance from You’s house with her bike before she took out her phone and called Kanan.    
  
“Hello?”   
  
“I’m going to top you.” Chika announced without pausing to say hello. The reminder of what she’d done last night with Kanan had left her craving the girl’s touch.    
  
“What?!”   
  
“You heard me.” Chika lowered her voice as she glanced around to make sure nobody was listening. “You’re going to beg for me when I get there.”   
  
Kanan swallowed audibly. “W-Well then I guess you should hurry. You don’t want to keep a girl waiting.”   
  
“I’ll be at the peer.” Chika said. She didn’t wait for an answer before she hung up and slid the phone into her pocket. Quickly, she got onto her bike and began pedalling as hard as she could.    
  
\-------   
  
Kotori glanced anxiously at the door to Honoka’s hospital room. Maki had left about thirty minutes ago, saying that she needed to get some coffee but she’d looked upset and she’d yet to return.    
  
She looked to Eli, the only other occupant of the room besides herself and Honoka. Her mom and Maki’s dad had given them both permission to stay. Eli had to stay overnight for observation anyway. Her parents had come by earlier to check on her but they hadn’t stayed long. They’d had to get back to Arisa, they said. Besides that, Eli’s mom had looked uncomfortable with Eli curled up against Honoka.    
  
Umi’s parents had been less understanding and told Umi she needed to get home before it got too late. Nozomi had argued with them, pointing out that Umi was meant to be staying over at her house that night anyway, given that they didn’t have school the next day. Umi’s parents has relented under the condition that Umi leave the hospital. Nico had wanted to stay but she’d needed to get back to her siblings.    
  
“Eli-chan?” Kotori stood and stepped closer to the bed, lightly placing her hand on Eli’s shoulder. She felt her flinch under the touch. “I’m going to find Maki-chan, will you be okay here?”   
  
“We’re fine.” Eli said gruffly. “Just go.”   
  
Kotori tensed as anger washed over her but she quickly told herself that Eli was probably still angry with her about earlier. They were all on edge anyway. “I won’t be long.” She said softly. She glanced briefly at Honoka before she left. Remembering the way to the on call room Maki had tugged her into earlier, she quickly made her way there. She could only hope she was right in her suspicions that Maki would be there.    
  
Indeed as she came to a stop outside of the room, she heard the sound of faint sobbing. Taking a breath, she opened the door and stepped inside, closing it behind her. She found Maki kneeling on the floor next to the bed, sobbing into her arms which were folded atop it.    
  
“Maki-chan.” Kotori locked the door to make sure nobody disturbed them before she rushed to Kotori’s side. She drew the redhead into her arms, letting her cry into her chest instead. Kotori shushed Maki gently, her chest tight as she ran her fingers through the girl’s hair. She’d never seen Maki like this before. Her sobs were choked and agonized, so forceful that Kotori briefly feared that Maki was going to hurt her throat.    
  
She wasn’t sure what to do so she simply sat with Maki until the redhead finally calmed down a little, at least enough to stutter out a sentence.    
  
“I-I think Honoka has a t-tumor and I don’t know what to do, I can’t…” Maki lifted her head from Kotori’s shoulder and looked into her eyes. “I can’t help her.”   
  
Kotori felt a shiver go down her spine at the suggestion, her stomach sinking at the idea of anything serious being wrong with Honoka. She wouldn’t believe that, she couldn’t. “It’s going to be okay, Maki-chan.” She said softly, her voice trembling. She slid her hands up to Maki’s shoulders, gently rubbing them. “I promise.”   
  
“I’m scared, Kotori.” Maki confided, her eyes still brimming with tears. “I don’t want to lose her. I don’t want to lose anyone in Muse. I don’t want you to have to. You love her. We both do but she’s your b-best friend, I-I just want to be able to DO something.”   
  
Kotori swallowed thickly as tears streaked their way down Maki’s already tear stained cheeks. “I know.” She said softly, reaching up to wipe Maki’s tears away. “I know it’s scary. And you’re smart so you can think of all of these horrible outcomes but sometimes we just have to hope. It’s all we can do. I have faith that Honoka-chan will get through this. You think too much. You  _ worry _ too much.”   
  
Maki closed her eyes as Kotori gently cupped her face in her hand. “R-Right.” She stuttered, sniffling softly. Maybe she was overthinking things. “Kotori, can we not go back? I just want to stay here with you. I need to calm down.”   
  
“Let’s lie down somewhere more comfortable then.” Kotori said softly. Her hands went to Maki’s black and pink jacket and she unzipped it. They were still in their training clothes, having not had a chance to change. She slid her hands up Maki’s chest to her shoulders, slowly pushing the jacket down Maki’s arms until she tugged it off, letting it fall to the floor. “Do you feel okay?”   
  
Maki shook her head. “I feel dizzy.”   
  
“Okay.” Kotori shifted so that she was kneeling on one knee. “Put your arms around my neck.”   
  
Maki did so without question and gasped when Kotori put an arm behind her back and an arm under her knees before she stood, lifting her with a grunt of effort.    
  
“I’m sorry.” Maki apologized as Kotori set her down on the bed. “I’m too heavy for you to lift me.”   
  
“Well I got you here, didn’t I?” Kotori crawled over Maki and lay down on her side next to her. She offered a small smile when Maki turned onto her side, mirroring her position. “You have really pretty eyes, you know. It’s one of the first things I noticed about you when we met. They’re even prettier now that you’re not so guarded with me.”   
  
“Kotori?” Maki asked softly, her voice a bit rough. “Will you kiss me? Please?”   
  
Kotori answered by leaning in and pressing her lips to Maki’s. She’d done it so many times before it was almost like second nature now. She lingered for a moment, feeling Maki press back against her before she slowly leaned away.    
  
“Kiss me again.” Maki whispered, refusing to open her eyes.    
  
Kotori kissed Maki once more, shifting closer to her this time. Her hand moved to Maki’s hip, sliding under her black tank top and skimming over the girl’s toned stomach. She felt Maki kiss her back, nipping gently at her lower lip. It caught Kotori by surprise and she inhaled sharply, long enough to allow Maki to deepen the kiss.    
  
After a moment, Kotori drew away, slightly breathless.    
  
“I love you.” Maki said softly, opening her eyes.    
  
“I love you too.” Kotori whispered back. She pressed her lips to the corner of Maki’s, hoping to soothe her with the closeness.    
  
Maki sighed and gently pulled Kotori’s arm warmers off of her girlfriend’s arms, letting them fall to the floor. Slowly, she slid her hands up Kotori’s arms, basking in skin against skin. She rested her head against Kotori’s chest, sighing softly. “I’m glad you found me. I was so lost after what happened with Honoka…”   
  
“Well I’ve liked you since before you joined Muse.” Kotori said softly. “Back when you gave us the song. I thought you were the prettiest girl I’d ever seen.”   
  
Maki smiled weakly in response and closed her eyes, focusing on Kotori’s hand under her shirt. It had trailed to her back now and was innocently rubbing small circles there.    
  
Kotori felt a flicker of amusement as Maki seemed to purr at the touch. “You really are just like a cat, huh?”   
  
“You make me feel good.” Maki mumbled, her voice a bit weary.    
  
Kotori was silent, having not expected such an honest response. She was ashamed to admit that her mind went somewhere other than what Maki meant though. She bit her lip to hold back her automatic reply and pressed her lips gently to Maki’s forehead instead. “Go to sleep. You’re exhausted.”   
  
Maki hummed a soft response. She tried to stay awake but she was too tired and under Kotori’s attentions she slowly drifted off.    
  
\-----   
  
Kanan panted softly as Chika kissed her way to her neck, nipping and sucking at at every inch of skin she could. As Chika pressed closer, Kanan’s bare back pressed against the cool wall of the diving shack. Her wetsuit hung around her waist and her bikini top lay forgotten about on the floor a few feet away.    
  
“Chika.” She gasped softly as Chika’s hand cupped her breast, squeezing lightly. She shuddered when Chika looked up at her, her usually soft eyes dark and wild. She could hardly believe the second year was managing to top her, given that she had so much more experience. Yet Chika was doing that so easily.    
  
“Beg for me.” Chika whispered huskily, pressing herself flush against Kanan once more. “You like the fact that we’re doing this outside, don’t you? Anyone could spot us. Yet nobody can at the same time. Come on, Kanan-chan. Tell me what you want.” Her hand moved around to Kanan’s perfectly shaped rear, her fingers digging into soft flesh. She smirked when Kanan gasped, her hips jerking. “Tell me.”   
  
Kanan swallowed thickly, not even sure she would be able to force words out. “I-I want you to...to…” her face flushed slightly and she closed her eyes, taking a deep breath. Mari had never topped her so she’d never felt this vulnerable with her. It wasn’t a bad feeling, in fact somehow it made the whole experience even better but it was different.    
  
Chika seemed too intent on what she was doing to really rebuke Kanan for not giving her an answer. She quickly pushed Kanan’s wetsuit down over her hips and down her legs.    
  
“Ch-Chika!” Kanan gasped in alarm, glancing around. “M-Mari and Dia will be here to discuss Love Live soon.”   
  
“Well then I’d better hurry.” Chika smirked, pressing her lips to the inside of Kanan’s thigh as she knelt down in front of her. Without saying anything else, she pushed Kanan’s bottoms down and leaned in, pressing her hand to Kanan’s hip and allowing her tongue to explore the trembling girl’s core.    
  
“Fuck.” Kanan gasped at the contact of Chika’s mouth, her eyes sliding shut. She lifted her hand, clamping it over her mouth. She wasn’t sure how Chika had gotten so good at this but she wasn’t about to complain. She reached down with her free hand, sliding her fingers into Chika’s hair and forcing her closer.    
  
The way Chika moaned in delight at the action had Kanan shuddering. Trying to hurry herself along before they really did get caught, Kanan closed her eyes and focused on the feeling of Chika’s tongue, alternating between licking freely at her and sliding inside of her.    
  
Thankfully, under Chika’s diligent attentions, it didn’t take more than a couple of minutes for Kanan to reach her peak and she cried out as her hips jerked forward.    
  
Breathing heavily, Kanan looked down at Chika, finding her licking her lips while staring heatedly up at her.    
  
“Kanan-san, are you working?!”   
  
Kanan’s eyes widened at the sound of Dia’s voice and she almost tripped over herself as she hurried to pull her bottoms and wetsuit back up. She concealed her bikini top inside of the wetsuit aware she didn’t have time to put it on before she went to greet Dia and Mari. 

 

\----

 

Eli brushed her fingers lightly up and down Honoka’s arm, basking in the warmth of her skin. She watched the movement of her fingers intently, focusing on the rhythm of her breathing in an attempt to stay calm. She knew that if she didn’t she would only end up freaking out again. Like she had in the ambulance.    
  
Her breathing hitched and she forced herself to shift her thoughts away from what had happened. She couldn’t think about it. Even the idea of losing Honoka was too much.    
  
Kotori and Maki still weren’t back from wherever they had gone but Eli didn’t especially mind that. She knew they probably needed some time alone, to comfort each other. She found herself missing Nozomi’s presence though, something that annoyed her. She didn’t want to wish that Nozomi was there to reassure her. In part, the whole thing was Nozomi’s fault for not telling them the truth.    
  
She felt Honoka shift slightly and she carefully moved closer, being as careful as she could not to dislodge any of the wires.    
  
“I’m here.” She whispered, her hand moving up to gently stroke Honoka’s hair. “I’m here. I’m not going anywhere, I promise.” She kissed Honoka’s cheek, feeling her eyes sting once more with tears. She hated seeing Honoka so sick.    
  
Caught up in trying to keep control, she missed Honoka moving again.    
  
“E-Eli-senpai…” Honoka’s voice sounded weak but Eli heard it clearly. She pulled back and watched in astonishment as Honoka blinked open her eyes. Maki’s dad had said that it could take a day or so for Honoka to wake up but it had only been a few hours.    
  
Eli choked back a sob of relief. “I’m here, Honoka. I’m right here. You’re in the hospital. You fainted, do you remember?”   
  
“Head hurts…” Honoka rasped. She coughed, her hand moving to her throat.    
  
“I’ll get you some water.” Eli said, quickly wiping at her eyes. She turned and reached for the water next to Honoka’s bed but froze when she felt Honoka move too, arms going around her. She felt Honoka’s lips press to her back but she didn’t dare move in fear of hurting her girlfriend.    
  
“Stay with me.” Honoka requested softly, weakly trying to draw Eli back to her. She frowned as the two became tangled together in a mess of wires. “Please.”   
  
Eli grit her teeth as tears unwittingly slid from her eyes, cascading down her cheeks. She was grateful that she was facing away from Honoka at least.  She felt Honoka pull the back of her hospital gown down slightly, soft lips pressing directly to her skin.    
  
“H-Honoka…” Eli warned, her voice trembling with emotion. She realized suddenly that Honoka kissing her meant the girl wasn’t wearing her oxygen mask. She carefully turned over, finding that her assumption was right. She reached up, trying to put it back over her girlfriend’s mouth but Honoka shook her off and kissed her instead.    
  
Eli couldn’t help but allow the kiss for a moment before she forced herself to pull away. “H-Honoka…”   
  
“I want to talk.” Honoka said, grasping at the front of Eli’s hospital gown to make sure she didn’t pull away. She did a double take as she looked down. “Why are you wearing this?”   
  
“I-I um...I had a panic attack. One of the paramedics sedated me, Maki said.” Eli hesitantly explained. “Your heart stopped, Honoka. I was so scared and I couldn’t breathe and I just...I just lost control. I’m sorry.”   
  
Honoka shook her head and leaned into Eli, burying her face in her chest. “I’m scared too, Eli-senpai.” She said, her voice shaky. “I don’t know what’s happening to me.”   
  
“I don’t know either.” Eli said, gently holding Honoka close to her. “I’m sorry.”   
  
Honoka made a sound of disagreement and shook her head. “It’s okay…”   
  
“I love you.” Eli said softly. She pressed her lips to the top of Honoka’s head and slowly inhaled her scent. “I love you so much, Honoka. Whatever this is, we’ll get through it. I’ll help you through it.”   
  
Honoka didn’t reply to that but Eli felt her chest tighten when tears soaked through her hospital gown.    
  
\-----   
  
Dia watched with suspicion, her arms crossed in front of her chest as Kanan came out from the back. She frowned when the girl yelped for seemingly no reason. “Kanan-san…”   
  
“Kanan, you’re glowing!” Mari exclaimed in her usual exuberant manner as she rushed to Kanan and hugged her. “Shining Kanan!”   
  
“Mari!” Kanan groaned in exasperation as she tried to shuffle further into the room with Mari hanging onto her. “Let go.”   
  
“You smell different too.” Mari commented thoughtfully. “Not salty like the sea.”   
  
Kanan sighed loudly and finally managed to shrug Mari off. “Stop. I don’t smell different.”   
  
Mari raised an eyebrow as she realized something. “Are you wearing anything under your wetsuit?”   
  
“YES!” Kanan blushed furiously and crossed her arms in front of her chest. “What do you want?”   
  
Dia eyed Kanan closely, her gaze slipping for a moment to the girl’s chest.    
  
“I think Kanan has a secret.” Mari said slyly as she looked Kanan up and down. “You have a hickey on your neck.”   
  
Kanan clamped her hand over the left side of her neck which Mari had pointed at. “It’s nothing!”   
  
“You’re fooling around again.” Dia said slowly, finally recognizing the signs. Kanan had gone through a phase like that in their second year too but it had stopped in their third.    
  
Mari turned to Dia in surprise. “How do you know she slept around?”   
  
“Uuhh…” Dia stared at Mari through wide eyes for a moment but quickly turned back to Kanan. “N-Nevermind. Who is she?”   
  
“S-She’s nobody.” Kanan said, letting her eyes wander around the shack. Anything but look at those two. “Forget about it.”   
  
“Obviously someone in Aqours, considering you don’t want to tell us.” Mari observed, trying to work out who it was.    
  
“Or someone older.” Dia suggested, unable to keep herself from getting caught up in Mari’s suggestions.    
  
Kanan huffed under her breath. “I don’t date older girls, you know that.”   
  
“So she’s younger and you don’t want us to know about her.” Mari concluded. She hummed thoughtfully as she watched Kanan fidget under her stare.    
  
Dia waited in silence as Mari continued to stare at Kanan. She let her do it, aware that Mari would get to the truth eventually. Either she would figure it out herself or Kanan would crumble and tell her the truth. She twitched as something occurred to her. If Kanan had made any kind of move on her sister she would be furious.    
  
“Oh, that’s why she snapped at me!” Mari finally exclaimed in realization.    
  
“Huh?” Dia looked to Mari in confusion. It took a moment but reflecting on Mari’s words, she figured it out. “Chika-san?”   
  
Kanan face palmed, her ears stained red.    
  
“Oooh you must dominate her, right?” Mari slid right up to Kanan, a mischievous look on her face. “Ooor the student is becoming the  _ master _ !”   
  
“MARI, I’LL SUE YOU!”

  
“But I’m not even touching your boobs!”   
  
“Shut up!” Kanan exclaimed.    
  
“Hmm, that explains the hickey.” Mari observed. “Are you even wearing your bikini?”   
  
“Wha…?!” Kanan’s eyes widened as Mari stepped even closer to her and grasped the zipper of her wetsuit. It was zipped almost completely up her chest so neither Mari nor Dia could see anything but it seemed that was about to change. “S-STOP PULLING!”   
  
Dia sighed at their antics. “As much as I enjoy the light-heartedness of this back forth, Kanan-san, is this serious? You pulled Chika-san into adulthood.”   
  
“Um, maybe not serious.” Having successfully freed herself from Mari, Kanan sheepishly rubbed the back of her neck. “I think she’s just using me. But I’m allowing it.”   
  
Dia frowned at the response. “She’s different from the rest than. From me and Mari-san.”   
  
“I don’t know.” Kanan shrugged meekly. “It’s the same. I think. It should be, it’s just sex. We’re like...friends with benefits, I guess.”   
  
Dia grimaced at that. “You never let girls have control over you though. So it must be different in terms of how you feel about her. Isn’t it?”   
  
“I-I don’t…” Kanan slowly shook her head. “It’s complicated. I’m used to simple. These feelings are just...confusing. I don’t know what to do with them.”   
  
“She’s using you, Kanan-san. You said it yourself.” Dia said, softening her voice as much as she could. “It sounds to me like she’s playing with your feelings.”   
  
“Haven’t I done that to other girls?” Kanan asked hesitantly.   
  
“She’s right.” Mari said, her voice serious for once. Kanan turned toward her, finding Mari staring at her. “You shouldn’t let her be in control, it’s only going to make things worse. You’re letting yourself be vulnerable to her. Me, and I guess Dia sometimes, like being controlled. You hate it.”   
  
Kanan lowered her gaze to the floor and bit her lip as she mulled over what they were saying. “I’ve liked her since we were kids.” She heard both of her friends inhale sharply but didn’t look up. “I used to think she was so innocent but after everything that’s happened...it feels too good to give it up. I can’t stop, it’s like I’m addicted to her. I don’t  _ want _ to stop. If she hurts me, I’ll deal with it. I know she’s using me, I know she can stop whenever she wants...” Her voice hitched and she hesitated, debating whether she should tell Mari and Dia everything. Not about Honoka of course. She blanched at the idea of having to explain that to someone like Dia. “She’s in love with Riko. I’m just...I don’t know.”   
  
She felt someone take her hand and looked up to see Mari standing there, a troubled look on her face. “She wants me but I guess she doesn’t at the same time.”   
  
“She doesn’t want you with anyone else.” Dia said softly. “She’s lusting after you and she’s possessive but she doesn’t really want you.”   
  
Kanan swallowed thickly. “Is that what you think?”   
  
Dia paused for a moment. She didn’t want to hurt Kanan but she had to be honest with her. “We all care about Chika-san. And respect her, even if it’s hard for me to admit that...but it does sound like she’s playing with your feelings.”   
  
_ ‘ _ _ All she does is hurt people and play with people’s feelings.’ _   
  
Maki’s words came rushing back to Kanan and she clenched her free hand, her nails digging into her palm. She wouldn’t believe that about Chika. “Then I guess I’m playing with hers as well. It’s a dangerous game, after all…”   
  
Dia sighed in exasperation. “We can’t stop you. But just be careful. Please. I don’t want to see you hurt and I know Mari-san doesn’t either.”   
  
Out of the corner of her eye, Kanan saw Mari nod. “I’ll try…” she mumbled before Dia stepped toward her. A moment later she was being hugged by both of her best friends. She hugged them back as tightly as she could, hoping she really would be able to keep her word.    
  
\----   
  
By the time Nozomi had finished switching off all of the lights in her apartment and had checked that her door was locked, Umi had changed and gotten into bed, facing the wall.    
  
Nozomi changed silently in a t-shirt she liked wearing to bed and slid in under the covers behind Umi. She carefully pressed herself against the girl’s back, an arm going around her waist. “Is this okay?”   
  
“Yeah.” Umi whispered, staring at the wall. She allowed herself to relax slightly into Nozomi’s arms, a slow breath escaping her. “Thank you for letting me stay. For arguing with my father. Not many people can hold their own against him.”   
  
“It was nothing.” Nozomi said softly. She lightly nuzzled her nose against Umi’s neck, feeling the girl shiver slightly. “I assume your dad is as strict as Maki-chan’s?”   
  
“You could say that.” Umi murmured.    
  
The two fell silent for a few long minutes before Nozomi spoke up again. “I’m worried about Elichi. And Honoka o-of course. I don’t know how to help them.”   
  
“I’m scared too.” Umi grasped Nozomi’s hand where it rested on her stomach and squeezed it tightly. “Maki seemed upset. She knows something, Nozomi. Something is wrong.”   
  
Nozomi gave a faint nod against Umi’s shoulder. She knew there was something wrong too but it seemed like Maki had an idea about what exactly it could be.    
  
Umi turned in Nozomi’s hold and pressed closer to her, her eyes stinging with tears. “It has to be bad if Maki is upset about it.”   
  
Nozomi couldn’t disagree with that. She knew Umi was right. Maki wouldn’t be upset for no reason. “Whatever is going on with Honoka, we’ll be there for her, okay? She has you, Eli, Kotori, me...all of Muse. Not to mention her family.”   
  
Umi leaned back slightly and blinked at Nozomi. “Do you think it’s going to be okay?”   
  
Nozomi wavered. She didn’t know at best. But she suspected it was only going to get worse. “Yes.” She lied softly. “I think it’s going to be okay.”   
  
Umi smiled softly, reassured by Nozomi’s answer.    
  
Nozomi was about to add to what she’d said, feeling guilty for lying, when Umi leaned in and kissed her, her hand going to the back of her neck as she leaned into the kiss. Surprised, Nozomi’s eyes widened for a split second before they fluttered shut and she kissed Umi back. Her hand slipped down Umi’s hip, carefully tugging her closer under they were pressed flush against each other.    
  
Nozomi was surprised when Umi threw a leg over her hips and moved on top of her, causing her to naturally shift to her back.    
  
Umi broke the kiss, uncertainly looking into Nozomi’s eyes. “Is this...okay?” She asked, her cheeks burning with embarrassment. What she was doing was fairly shameful after all. “I-I don’t want to...do anything, I just want to be close to you. Closer, I mean. You...you make me feel better.”   
  
“Don’t be embarrassed.” Nozomi reached up and threaded her fingers into Umi’s hair. Their eyes met and she gently tugged her down, pressing a brief kiss to her lips. “I want this too. I want whatever you want, Umi-chan.”   
  
Umi’s gaze shifted down to Nozomi’s chest for a moment and she blushed harder if at all possible. She looked up, finding Nozomi smirking at her. “Don’t tease me.”   
  
“I didn’t say anything.” Nozomi said in amusement as she lightly ran her free hand up and down Umi’s back. “I just mean you can do whatever you want.”   
  
Umi hesitated for a moment before she lay down, resting her head on Nozomi’s chest.    
  
“This is a lot more innocent than what I thought you were going for.” Nozomi said, a hint of amusement in her voice.    
  
“Shut up.” Umi mumbled. “Boobs are comfortable.”   
  
“Not for me.”    
  
“Oh! S-Sorry…” Umi began to get up but Nozomi pressed her hand gently to her head, keeping her where she was.    
  
“No, no. Not you. Just in general sometimes. I like you on them.”   
  
“O-Oh…” Umi relaxed back into Nozomi and fell silent for a few minutes. “I’m practically flat compared to you.”   
  
“You’re perfect.” Nozomi disagreed with a shake of her head against her pillow. “Besides, yours are bigger than Nicocchi’s and Rin’s. They’ll grow, trust me.”   
  
Umi waited to see if Nozomi would respond any other way but the third year didn’t. “What? You’re not gonna grab my chest?”   
  
Nozomi gave a soft laugh. “I want to. This is all new to me but I’m not...innocent. I’ve thought about doing things with you. Stripping you, especially when you dance...you and Elichi are both fit but you’re more elegant, honestly.”   
  
“S-Stripping? I’m not…”   
  
“Ready.” Nozomi finished knowingly. “I know. Which is why I’m keeping my hands to myself. It doesn’t mean anything when I grope other girls but with you it…” She trailed off as Umi narrowed her eyes at her. “W-What?”   
  
“If we’re together I don’t want you to grope anyone but me. I mean...I want us to only be with each other.” Umi said uncertainly.    
  
Nozomi smiled and kissed Umi once more. “Me too. Let’s go to sleep, I want to go to the hospital early tomorrow.”   
  
Umi’s face fell at the comment. “M-My parents want me back at home tomorrow morning. So I won’t be able to visit Honoka until tomorrow afternoon.”   
  
Nozomi frowned. “I’ll let her know you’re coming then.”   
  
“Thank you.” Umi said softly. She moved off of Nozomi and turned her back to her.    
  
Nozomi took that as her cue to moved close, curling an arm around Umi’s waist once more.    
  
Umi sighed, relieved that Nozomi hadn’t hesitated to get close again. She gripped the strong arm in front of her and closed her eyes. Focusing on Nozomi’s soft breathing, she slowly fell asleep in the girl’s warm embrace.    
  
\----   
  
Kanan inhaled the fresh sea air as she made her way down the beach with Chika, their hands occasionally brushing between them. She wanted nothing more than to take Chika’s hand in her own and lace their fingers together but she couldn’t bring herself to do it. She was sure Chika didn’t want anyone to know there was something between them. Probably because Riko might find out.    
  
Kanan released a sigh of frustration and stopped suddenly, causing Chika to stop too. “Hey, Chika. I’ve been thinking…”   
  
“About what?” Chika prompted curiously when Kanan trailed off.    
  
Kanan cleared her throat. “This is fun and all, the sex and the hiding everything between us...”   
  
“I know.” Chika smiled warmly. She noticed movement to her left and glanced in that direction, noticing a pretty girl standing at the edge of the water. She had short purple hair which barely went past her shoulders.   
  
“Yeah, but um...we could do other things too, you know?” Kanan said nervously. “Like we could go on a date. And talk. For real.”   
  
“Uh-huh.” Chika said faintly, barely hearing what Kanan was saying. Her breath caught in her throat as the girl she was staring at looked toward her. “Sorry, Kanan-chan. I’ll be right back.”   
  
She walked quickly toward the girl she’d spotted, only pausing when she was about a foot away.    
  
“Takami Chika.” Nozomi’s tone was cold and clipped as she turned to Chika with narrowed eyes.    
  
Chika swallowed thickly at the harsh tone of Nozomi’s voice. It wasn’t a tone she’d heard before, even when Nozomi was angry with her. “N-Nozomi…”   
  
“I’d recognize that aura anywhere, unfortunately.” Nozomi said, crossing her arms in front of her chest. “Even if I quit all of the spiritual crap...it was foolish.”    
  
Chika took a slight step back. “What are you doing here?”   
  
“I’m paying tribute to my late leader. My friend.” Nozomi briefly looked down and Chika noticed her take a shuddering breath. “Honoka-chan loved the beach so we came here after we stopped by her...her grave.”   
  
“Nozomi-chan…” Chika said softly as Nozomi’s voice caught. She didn’t know what to say so she settled for questioning her further. “Why this beach?”   
  
“We’re here on vacation too. Me and Umi-chan.” Nozomi answered, looking up. “I didn’t know you would be here if that’s what you’re wondering. I didn’t want to see you again.”   
  
“R-Right. Of course.” Chika said softly, her heart sinking. She couldn’t expect anything else though. “I’ll just leave you to your…”   
  
“You ruined my friends lives. You  _ destroyed _ Eli.” Nozomi said accusingly. Her hands clenched into fists at her sides. “Why couldn’t you just listen to me? I begged you to play along but you just had to be a damn BRAT! You should have just LISTENED to me, damn it!”   
  
“N-Nozomi…” Chika watched as Nozomi’s eyes seemed to flood with tears. She still looked furious though. Chika could see her trembling. “I’m sorry. I didn’t want any of this to happen. If I could take it back…”   
  
“Nozomi!” Another girl jogged over, holding two bottles of water. “Are you okay? I’m sorry it took me so long, the line was longer than I th... _ you _ .”   
  
Chika stared at the girl next to Nozomi. There was no mistaking it was Umi. She was still just as beautiful but her hair was in a low ponytail now, falling over her shoulder. Chika vaguely noticed that unlike Nozomi who was dressed in a white sundress, Umi was wearing a button down shirt and jeans. “U-Umi-chan.”   
  
Umi dropped the water in her hands and Nozomi quickly pulled her close.    
  
“Why the hell is she here?!” Umi cried, staring at Chika even as she addressed Nozomi.    
  
Chika took another step back, her heart thudding rapidly against her chest. She hadn’t planned an encounter with any of the members of Muse. She’d thought it would never happen. “I-I live here, I’m...I didn’t know you would be here.”   
  
“Nozomi.” Umi turned to Nozomi, grasping her shoulder for stability. “I can’t….”   
  
“Shhh, I know.” Nozomi said soothingly. “It’s okay, just calm down. Take a deep breath, okay? With me.”   
  
Chika watched as both Nozomi and Umi took deep breaths at the same time, like it was something they had to do often. She noticed that Umi’s breathing was fast and loud and wondered if the girl was having some kind of panic attack.    
  
“There.” Nozomi held Umi to her and glared at Chika over her shoulder. “You have no idea what you did to  _ all _ of us.”   
  
“I do.” Chika said quietly. She wrapped her arms around herself, sickened with guilt. “Maki-chan told me. She told me about Eli.”   
  
“About Eli?” Surprisingly it was Umi who echoed Chika’s words.    
  
“It’s okay. She’s fine, nothing happened.” Nozomi soothed, her hand going to the back of Umi’s head. It seemed Umi was constantly worrying about Eli, given where the blonde currently lived. Since Honoka had died and Eli had moved, Umi had been riddled with nightmares and anxiety concerning both of them. “Screw you, Chika. You  _ don’t _ know. You have no fucking…”   
  
“Is everything okay?”   
  
Chika felt a hand come to rest on her back and looked up, relieved to see Kanan standing there, the older girl’s gaze fixed on Nozomi.    
  
“This is none of your business.” Nozomi told Kanan, not recognizing her as the girl Honoka had spoken about.    
  
“Nozomi…” Chika said softly.    
  
“Nozomi?” Kanan echoed, raising an eyebrow. “Oh right. And...Umi, right?” She glanced at Chika. “She’s the one who kissed you before…”   
  
Chika nodded. “Yeah. W-Well I kissed her…”   
  
Kanan grimaced. She couldn’t say she was all that happy at recalling that. She lowered her voice, not noticing that Umi was breathing heavily. “Why the hell are they here?”   
  
“I um...they said they were visiting Honoka-chan.”   
  
“Well they took a wrong turn.” Kanan said, glancing back at Nozomi and Umi. She didn’t especially want either of them anywhere near Chika now that she knew what had happened to Honoka. She didn’t want to take the risk of them hurting Chika in anger.    
  
“Would you  _ shut it?!”  _ Nozomi exclaimed, gently drawing away from Umi. This always happened when they got onto the topic of Chika or Honoka or even Eli. As here Chika was talking about it openly. “You have no right to talk about her and you’re making my girlfriend panic!”   
  
She remembered Umi’s first attack. It had taken her by surprise. Taken them both by surprise really. It had been painful to watch Umi in such a state. She’d had to be sedated the first time, just like Eli had when Honoka’s heart had stopped. It wasn’t any easier now, even with her anxiety medication.    
  
Kanan’s eyes widened as Nozomi took a step toward Chika. She pushed Chika aside and stepped into Nozomi’s path. Unfortunately it seemed Nozomi read the movement as an attack and with a growl of anger, she punched Kanan hard.    
  
Kanna stumbled slightly, pain resonating through her cheek and nose. Her eyes watered and she grasped at her nose, feeling blood spilling from it onto her hand.    
  
Umi pulled Nozomi back to her, pressing her head to the girl’s shoulder. “N-Nozomi please stop. Don’t let it consume you. Please.”   
  
Nozomi gritted her teeth. She wanted to yell at Chika about how unfair it was but the feeling of warmth and tears against her shoulder calmed her. She took a few deep breaths before she relaxed and took Umi’s hand.    
  
She looked at Kanan who was covering her bleeding nose with her hand. Chika was trying to get her to let her take a look while keeping an eye on what Nozomi and Umi were doing. “You’re Kanan.”   
  
“Yeah?” Kanan said, her voice a bit nasally.    
  
“Honoka-chan liked you. She said you reminded her of Eli. That you made her feel safe.” Nozomi gave a bitter laugh. “Be careful with her. She shouldn’t be trusted.”   
  
With that said, Nozomi led Umi off the beach.    
  
Chika’s heart was pounding frantically but she gently pushed Kanan to sit down on the sand and knelt down next to her, intending to check her wound. She couldn’t resist the urge to wrap her arms around the girl though, holding her close. “I’m sorry. I’m such a fucking moron.”   
  
Kanan’s hand fell to her side, her shoulders slumped. “I’m in love with you, Chika.”   
  
Chika buried her face in Kanan’s shoulder, tears spilling from her eyes. Maybe Nozomi was right about her. “I’m sorry, Kanan-chan.” She pulled back, brushing her fingers against Kanan’s cheek. “I have to fix this.”   
  
As Chika tried to pull away, Kanan gripped her arm to keep her close. “Chika.”   
  
Chika finally stilled. She reached down, taking Kanan’s chin in her hand and pushed her face up. As gently as she could, she kissed the older girl, being careful of her bloody nose.    
  
Kanan whimpered, her grip on Chika loosening. She wondered if this was just Chika’s way of ending what they had.    
  
“Kanan-chan.” Chika whispered against Kanan’s lips. She took a breath, trying to figure out what to do. She knew she had feelings for Riko but she loved Kanan as one of her closest friends. And she was attracted to her too. Besides that, Kanan was always there for her. She kissed her again, both unaware that Riko was watching them from across the beach.    
  
“Come back to my house.” Chika requested softly, refusing to move away from Kanan. As much as she wanted to rush after Nozomi, Kanan needed her. “I want to make you feel better.”   
  
Kanan looked torn as she remembered Mari and Dia’s words. “I-I don’t know, Chika…”   
  
“Please.” Chika said softly. “I do love you, Kanan-chan. I don’t know if I love you in the same way as you love me but I want to try this with you. I won’t lie and say I don’t have feelings for Riko-chan. I do. But you deserve more than just sex. So I want to try.”   
  
“Will you...go on a date with me then?” Kanan asked hopefully. “A real date? I can take you out. But I don’t want to hide. I want to hold your hand and kiss you goodnight and…” She was cut off by another fleeting kiss from Chika.    
  
“Yes.” Chika whispered, clutching Kanan’s hand. “Let’s go. I want to clean your nose up.”   
\-----   
  
“Do you feel sick?” Maki fretted as she reached forward to press her hand to Honoka’s forehead. She wasn’t warm to the touch like Maki had thought she might be. That was a relief at least. “You could still get an infection from the cut on your head, you know. You have to be careful.”   
  
Honoka gave a soft laugh and lightly pushed Maki’s hand away. Eli had gone home to check on Arisa an hour or so ago but Honoka hadn’t been alone for long before Nozomi had shown up. Maki had come by around the same time and had mentioned that Kotori was still sleeping but said that she didn’t plan on going anywhere herself. “I’m fine. Your dad says it’s nothing to worry about.”   
  
“Oh, you spoke to my dad again?” Maki asked in surprise. She glanced warily over at Nozomi who was sitting in one of the seats next to Honoka’s bed.    
  
“When he took me for my MRI scan this morning.” Honoka answered with a shrug of her shoulders. “Your dad’s nice, Maki-chan. He said he usually gets the residents to do that kind of thing but he’s interested in my case because I’m friends with you.”   
  
“Oh.” Maki wasn’t sure what to say to that. She was kept from having to say anything when her dad along with Honoka’s parents walked into the room. Her stomach sank at the sober look on her father’s face. She looked to Honoka’s parents next, her heart beginning to pound faster against her chest at the sight of tears on Honoka’s mother’s cheeks. Honoka’s father looked ashen and was clearly trembling.    
  
“What’s going on?” Honoka asked in concern, having noticed what Maki had. “Mom?”   
  
“We have the results of your scan from this morning.” Jin said, closing the door behind him as Hikaru went to hold Honoka’s hand. He looked warily between Nozomi and Maki. “It would be best if your friends left.”   
  
“No!” Honoka exclaimed sharply. “No. Please, I want them here.”   
  
Jin looked to Honoka’s parents who both nodded in response. He sighed softly but he couldn’t argue.    
  
Nozomi reached out and took Honoka’s free hand as Jin walked to a monitor, pulling up some scans.    
  
Wracked with dread, Maki went to Honoka’s side too, placing her hand atop both Nozomi’s and Honoka’s. Fearful blue eyes looked toward her and she did her best to force a smile to her lips.    
  
“Okay…” Jin turned the monitor to Honoka and took a deep breath. “We…”   
  
The door flew open suddenly, cutting him off and Eli burst into the room.    
  
“I’m sorry I’m late!” Eli exclaimed breathlessly. “Damn nurses wouldn’t leave me alo…” She trailed off, noticing the room was full of adults. “Oh.”   
  
“Eli-senpai!” Honoka exclaimed in relief.    
  
“Good, you’re here.” Maki said softly.    
  
“Huh?” Eli asked in confusion as she closed the door behind her. “What’s going on?”   
  
“Papa has the results of Honoka’s test.” Maki answered quietly as Eli made her way closer to the bed.   
  
Eli’s step falter. “O-Oh. Right. I’m staying.” She looked to Jin almost daring him to argue but he simply gave a nod of agreement. She stopped next to Maki and Nozomi, noticing they were both grasping Honoka’s hand. Looking at them, it was easy to see the fear on their faces. She swallowed hard and set her hand on Maki’s, her fingers brushing against Honoka’s wrist.    
  
Jin cleared his throat and pointed to the monitor. “As you know, we took a scan of your brain this morning to check whether there were any...abnormalities. Unfortunately we found a tumor, positioned in your cerebrum.” He pointed at the screen, showing a grey mass inside a scan of what was obviously a brain.    
  
Honoka stared at the screen in front of her bed, at the strange shape within her brain. Her brow furrowed slightly as she tried to take in what it meant. “So I have to have surgery?” She looked up sharply as a sob sprung from her mother’s throat. “Mom? It’s fine, I-I mean surgery isn’t great but at least we know what’s wrong now, right?” She looked hopefully at Jin. “Right?”   
  
“Fuck.” Maki cursed under her breath, gripping Nozomi’s hand beneath her own. She bowed her head, biting her cheek hard as tears sprung to her eyes.    
  
Eli and Nozomi looked to Maki, noticing her shoulders shaking slightly. Eli felt her stomach plummet with dread. Usually Maki was so calm and composed.    
  
Jin heard Maki curse but he didn’t say anything. Given the situation he was willing to let a lot worse than that pass. “I’m sorry. The tumor is inoperable. The positioning of it makes it too difficult to operate on. The surgery would kill you.”   
  
“S-So what are we going to do?” Honoka asked nervously. “Do I take medication to keep it from growing o-or um…”   
  
“Honoka.”    
  
Honoka looked up at the sound of her dad’s voice and inhaled sharply when she noticed his eyes were awash with tears too. She could count on one hand the number of times she’d seen her dad cry. “D-Dad, what...I don’t understand, what’s going to happen?”   
  
Yusuke took a shuddering breath. He could lose it later, now he had to be strong for Honoka. “The doctor is saying...he’s saying there’s no cure for this. He says you have around six months.”   
  
“Six months for wha…?” Honoka trailed off in realization. All at once her blood ran cold and her heart seemed to still in her chest. She felt a hand slip from her own, fingers that had been grazing her wrist disappearing but she didn’t realize Eli’s knees had buckled. She didn’t hear the blonde sobbing into her hands, nor did she notice Maki or Nozomi’s tears either. “I-I don’t want to die.”   
  
She somehow choked the words out even though her throat felt like it had closed up. A moment later her parents arms were around her and she grasped the two of them tightly, a sob escaping her. Once she started she couldn’t stop and the room was quickly filled with the sound of desperate, choked crying.    
  
Choking against her own sobs, Maki pulled her hand from Honoka’s and fled the room, leaving her father staring after her in concern.    
  
Nozomi, tears streaking down her cheeks, slid to the floor and took her distraught best friend into her arms, holding her as tightly as she could.    
  
TBC   



	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here’s the next chapters. Thanks for reading/commenting, I really appreciate it. 
> 
> Warning(s): Angst, sexual scenes, swearing.

Chika was returning from an early morning run with Kanan when she found Riko waiting for her outside of her house. She faltered for a moment, seriously considering whether she should run back the way she’d come from. She didn’t want to have another conversation that was similar to the one they’d had a few days ago. Especially on a Saturday, when she was looking forward to actually trying to do something to fix the mistakes she’d made. Kanan had said she would meet up with her later to help.   
  
“Hey.” Riko seemed to have spotted Chika as she straightened up, forcing a smile to her lips. “Your mom said you were out so I just waited for you. I hope you don’t mind.”  
  
“It’s fine.” Chika said quietly as she approached. She cast a glance to her right. “You know Shiitake is right over there though, don’t you?”  
  
Riko cast a nervous look toward the dog. “I-I was trying not to think about that. I didn’t want to miss you. In case you were going back out soon.”  
  
“Right.” Chika cleared her throat. As hurt as she still was by Riko’s actions, she didn’t want to turn her away so she continued quietly. “Do you want to come in? We can talk in my room.”  
  
“Yes! Please.” Riko said with a relieved look on her face. Shiitake chose that moment to bark and she let out a loud yelp. “I-I’m going in. Please excuse me.”  
  
Chika couldn’t help but smile as Riko hastened into the house. She followed her, saying a quick hello to her mother before she made her way to her bedroom. She closed the door behind her and watched as Riko hesitated next to the bed. “Sit down, it’s fine.”  
  
“Um…I-I’m fine.” Riko said with a shake of her head. She was a little bit put off by the thought of what Chika had been doing with Kanan on that bed. “So uh...about what you told me…”  
  
“It’s the truth.” Chika said curtly, shoving her hands into the pockets of the hoodie she’d adorned that morning. “I know you don’t believe me but it really is the truth. I wouldn’t like about this.”  
  
“I’m trying to believe you, Chika.” Riko said honestly, looking down at the floor. “I’m working on it. But um...that’s not what I came to talk to you about. I actually came to talk to you about Kanan-chan. W-What’s your relationship with her?  
  
Chika looked down too, unable to look at Riko. She shouldn’t lie. “Um...I’m dating her. We’re dating. That’s our relationship. I didn’t see it coming. At first it was just...fooling around. Sex.” She noticed Riko look up sharply and cringed in response as she lifted her own eyes. “I’m sorry, that was...too much, right? Um...as I was saying, I didn’t see it coming. I had feelings for someone else but Kanan-chan was always there for me. And she’s in love with me. She told me that. So I want to try. I want to try not to hurt her. I want to make her happy.”  
  
“But you don’t love her back?” Riko asked quietly, her throat tightening.   
  
“I-I don’t know. I think I’m falling for her.” Chika said honestly. She bit her lip as she met Riko’s pained eyes. “I thought I was in love with someone else. I thought they could be everything I needed them to be and if I had them everything would be okay. But I realized that’s not...it’s not right. For me or the other person. But spending time with Kanan, more than I ever did as a kid and really seeing her...she’s warm and caring. I like being cared for. I like that she protects me. I like the way she always _has_ to convince me to get up in the morning so we can run together. Or the way she always wants to hold my hand and she gets grumpy if I forget.” Chika laughed to herself, reaching up to brush tears from her eyes. “I love her, Riko-chan. I’ve just been an idiot. Kanan-chan is the best person for me and I’m the best person for her.”  
  
“R-Right.” Riko took a deep breath, trying to ignore the ache in her chest. “What about me?”  
  
Chika froze at the question. “What about you?”  
  
“I’m…” Riko paused, the admission lingering on her lips. “We’re still friends, aren’t we?”  
  
“Of course. Best friends.” Chika relaxed into a soft smile. “I shouldn’t have been surprised when you didn’t believe me. I’m not even sure You-chan would. Kanan-chan is different. She’s special. I should thank you, really. You helped me realize that I can’t push Kanan-chan away.”  
  
Riko force a smile to her lips. She didn’t need to hear that. “So you’re dating now, huh?”  
  
“Yeah.” Chika nodded confidently. Her brow furrowed afterwards. “Well...we’re going on dates. But I haven’t asked her if we’re dating yet. But I think we are. I’ll ask her when I see her later.”  
  
Riko nodded in response. “I have to go and practice for a while. Um...you should talk to You-chan too. She’s worried about you. Everyone in the group is.”  
  
Chika raised an eyebrow. “Even Dia-san?”  
  
“Yeah, even Dia-san.” Riko said, earnest amusement filtering into her voice. “Just make sure you talk to You-chan though. You might want to tell her about Kanan-chan before she finds out on her own. You two aren’t subtle.”  
  
“Ah right, sorry.” Chika grimaced. “Um...You-chan already knows. She kind of walked in on us um...having sex on Kanan’s family’s boat.”  
  
“Wha…?!” Riko look surprised by the comment. She hadn’t thought the two would be so comfortable with each other that they would do it somewhere so risky. “I-I um...I’ll see you later, Chika-chan.”  
  
“Right, bye…” Chika watched as Riko left the room. She still felt tension between herself and Riko but she wasn’t sure about the cause of it. Sighing, she sat down on her bed, trying to figure out how to help Honoka.   
  
\-----  
  
Nozomi was relieved when she opened the door to find Umi standing there. She had intentionally sent Umi a text asking her not to go to the hospital but to meet her at her house instead. She had said that they could go to the hospital after but she needed to speak with Umi first.   
  
“Hey, come in.” She said softly, ushering Umi inside. She closed the door behind Umi as the girl shuffled into the apartment.   
  
“You’ve been crying.” Umi said worriedly as she slipped her shoes off.   
  
Nozomi was silent, choosing to guide Umi into the other room. “Sit down.” She said softly, sitting down on the small couch.   
  
Umi took a seat, unnerved by how straightforward Nozomi was being. There was no jokes or teasing. No flirting. She was completely serious. She looked at the bottle sitting at Nozomi’s feet. “Is that alcohol?”  
  
“I-I needed something…” Nozomi felt her eyes sting with tears again but stubbornly pushed them back. She’d cried enough. If she has any more tears to shed it could wait until later. “I need to tell you something, Umi-chan.”  
  
Umi watched as Nozomi shifted closer to her opening her arms to gently wrap around her shoulders. “Is it about Honoka?”  
  
Nozomi nodded. “Umi-chan, I’m sorry...the doctor did a scan and found a-a tumor in Honoka’s brain. I can’t remember the details, it’s all a blur but...she’s not going to make it.”  
  
Umi’s face drained of color. “W-What the hell does that mean?” She gripped the front of Nozomi’s shirt. “What do you mean?!”  
  
Nozomi couldn’t do anything about the tears that filled her eyes this time. “She has six months at most and then she’s going to…”  
  
“NO!” Umi cried out, gripping Nozomi tighter. “No, don’t...don’t say it. It’s not true, Honoka isn’t…” She forced a laugh from her throat, willing it to be a stupid prank. “Honoka’s fine. She’s FINE! She’s fine, she’s…”  
  
“Umi-chan, she’s not!” Nozomi interrupted, her voice thick with emotion. “I’m so sorry. I know you love her. I love her too, I...I don’t want to believe it either. But she’s dying.”  
  
Umi’s eyes widened at the words. Her features crumbled with grief and she collapsed forward, burying her face in Nozomi’s lap as loud, grief stricken sobs overwhelmed her.   
  
Nozomi bit the inside of her cheek as she stroked Umi’s hair. Tears spilled from her own eyes as she cried silently right along with Umi. She couldn’t believe this was happening. “I’m sorry, Umi-chan. I’m so sorry.”  
  
It took Umi a long while to quieten down but when she did, she pulled away and reached down to pick up the bottle of shochu from the floor. She took a long drink, tears still drifting down her cheeks.   
  
“There has to be something we can do.” Umi said, looking toward Nozomi as she lowered the bottle. “An operation. Medication. Chemotherapy to shrink the tumor. Radiation. ANYTHING.”  
  
Nozomi sadly shook her head. “This can’t be reversed, Umi-chan. Maki-chan’s dad said he can’t…”  
  
“Then what fucking good is he?!” Umi got to her feet and started pacing in front of Nozomi. “My family’s rich. And I have a trust fund. I can pay for the best brain surgeon out there. I don’t care if they have to come from America or China or France. I don’t _care_. I’ll get them here, I don’t care how much it...” She turned on her heel to pace back once more only to bump right into Nozomi who had walked over to intercept her.   
  
“Umi-chan, calm down. Don’t you get your trust fund after you marry?” Nozomi’s voice shook as she held onto Umi’s arms.   
  
“I-I don’t...damn it!” Umi thought about that for a split second. “So I’ll make him give it to me. He knows I won’t go along with what he wants. I won’t be bullied into marrying someone I don’t know. That’s why he hates me so much. If I agree to marry whoever he wants he might give me an advance on my trust fund. It’ll be enough to help Honoka. If she can get rid of this damn tumor she’ll be fine.”  
  
“Umi-chan…” Nozomi lifted her hands, cupping Umi’s cheeks. “Don’t do this. Don’t marry for money. You’ll be miserable.”  
  
“I’d do it for Honoka.” Umi said sincerely, her eyes once more flooded by tears that mirrored Nozomi’s. “I won’t let her die. I _can’t_ let her die.”  
  
“Do you think Honoka would want you to throw your life away for her?” Nozomi asked weakly, sniffling back her tears.   
  
“Honoka wants to LIVE!” Umi exploded, shrugging Nozomi off of her. “She wants to be happy with Eli. She wants to see Yukiho grow up. She wants to take over her parents’ sweet shop one day. How is she meant to do that if she’s DEAD?!”  
  
“WHAT ABOUT ME?!” Nozomi yelled suddenly, her gaze flitting up to Umi’s. “You don’t think this is affecting me too? I’ve been thinking about how we can help but it’s not POSSIBLE. I had to fucking listen to him, Umi! I had to watch Eli fall apart and Maki run away...to god knows where. I had to come back here and tell you because I didn’t want you to find out like I did. I didn’t want you to have to listen to Honoka break down because she’s going to die and she’s TERRIFIED! Anything you think of, I’ve already thought of and it’s NOT POSSIBLE!”  
  
Umi stared at Nozomi as the girl seemed to unleash what she was feeling.   
  
“I don’t want you to _marry_ a fucking guy!” Nozomi continued loudly, her voice raspy from tears and yelling. “You’re gay. You’ve told me so yourself. But your father knows that, doesn’t he?!”  
  
Umi’s hands trembled at her sides. She’d never seen Nozomi so furious. “I love her, Nozomi. She’s my best friend, I’m...I’m never going to walk away from her. If I can do something, I will. I don’t care if it hurts me. At least she’ll be alive.”  
  
Nozomi choked back a sob. “It’ll hurt me. That’s what you don’t fucking get!”  
  
Umi flinched at the cursing but didn’t back down. “You don’t think I would do the same thing for you?! This isn’t about who I want to be with, Nozomi. I want to be with you but I won’t let her die. I can’t. If the situation was reversed...if you were in Honoka’s position and I was with her, I would give it up for you too. I would give everything up.”  
  
“Honoka-chan wants you to be happy.” Nozomi lifted her hand, brushing tears from her cheeks. “I want you to be happy. If you think about going through with this, I’ll tell her. I swear. You know she won’t let you do it.”  
  
Umi let out an enraged growl and grabbed the front of Nozomi’s shirt, pulling her close to her face. “I don’t believe you. You love her just as much as I do.” She gave a sharp tug, drawing Nozomi into a deep, needy kiss that seemed to take the older girl by surprise.   
  
It took a moment but Nozomi responded to the kiss, her brow furrowing at how hard Umi was kissing her. She felt herself being pushed back and a moment later her back collided solidly with a wall. Her lips never broke from Umi’s though and her mind went blank as Umi pressed her tongue past her lips.   
  
Her hands went to the hem of Umi’s sweater and she pulled it up, using just as much force as Umi was. She tossed it aside as Umi kissed her again, her hands going to her shirt.   
  
Nozomi winced as it was harshly pulled down her arms and thrown aside. The warmth of Umi’s body pressed against hers made up for the pain though. She gripped Umi’s shoulders as the girl drew her lips away, moving down to her neck. She gasped sharply as Umi didn’t hesitate to bite down, sucking harshly right after.   
  
“Wait…” Nozomi gasped softly, feeling Umi’s hands go around to grip her ass through her pants. She didn’t want their first time to be like this. “Wait, Umi-chan!” She felt Umi still completely and breathed a sigh of relief.   
  
She tensed as she felt Umi press her face into her chest but quickly relaxed when Umi nuzzling her boobs turning into nothing else.   
  
“I don’t think I could ever go this far with a man.” Umi said hoarsely. Nozomi looked down, feeling tears on her chest. “I don’t want to marry anyone my father wants. But I love Honoka. I wanted...I thought...when I was younger I thought I’d end up marrying her one day. This is just…”  
  
“Umi-chan, no.” Nozomi gently reached down and tilted Umi’s head up to meet her own. “This is nothing like that. It wouldn’t just like marrying Honoka-chan. Please don’t force yourself to believe that.”  
  
Umi nodded, tears spilling their way down her cheeks once more. They were quickly wiped away by Nozomi’s thumbs.   
  
“We’re together.” Nozomi said softly, her eyes sad but hopeful. “This is what you want, right?”  
  
Umi nodded. “Y-Yes…”  
  
“Then we can’t marry other people.” Nozomi pressed her lips gently to Umi’s. When Umi sank into her after, hugging her tightly, Nozomi closed her eyes. Keeping Umi from doing something so reckless is what Honoka would want. She knew that.   
  
\-----  
  
“We should really be working on our routines.” Dia complained, staring at Mari, Ruby, Riko, You, Hanamaru and Yoshiko with her hands on her hips.   
  
“Waiting for the rabbits to stop screwing, Dia.” Mari said in English, causing Dia to turn red in indignation.   
  
“J-Just stop lazing around.” Dia stuttered, giving Mari’s foot a light nudge with her own. “Get up. We have to do something.”  
  
Mari groaned. They were at the beach, lying around and Dia still wanted them to work.   
  
Ruby turned toward You and Hanamaru. “Screwing…?”  
  
“MARI-SAN!” Dia exclaimed loudly.   
  
Yoshiko bolted to her feet, a smug laugh passing her lips. It seemed she knew something Ruby and Hanamaru didn’t. “I believe that’s a curse word in English.”  
  
“What does it mean?” Ruby frowned in confusion.   
  
Hanamaru went through her bag, emerging with her dictionary. After a moment of browsing through she sighed. “It’s not in here.”  
  
You and Riko looked away nervously.   
  
“It means fucking.” Mari piped up.   
  
“But…” Ruby frowned at Mari. “What does that even mean?”  
  
“Oh my gawd, Dia.” Mari smirked in amusement and pushed herself into a sitting position, having been trying to tan. “You never taught her about the birds and the bees? The horizontal tango?”  
  
“S-S-S-Sex?!” Ruby exclaimed in shock, her face turning as red as her hair.   
  
“Does she even know you’re not a virgin, Dia?” Mari leapt to her feet with a shriek as Dia charged toward her.   
  
“I’M GONNA KILL YOU!”  
  
Yoshiko watched as Dia chased Mari down the beach but something occurred to her suddenly. “WAIT, WHO’S HAVING SEX?!”   
  
“Everyone but Kanan-chan and Chika-chan are here, zura.”   
  
As Hanamaru spoke up and the other two first years reacted with cries of surprise, You looked away, blushing furiously.   
  
Riko stared at You, remembering what Chika had told her. “You-chan…”  
  
You looked up, her eyes widening at the disapproving look on Riko’s face. Or maybe that was just her imagination. “W-What?!”  
  
“Nothing.” Riko said with a shrug of her shoulders. She glanced over at the first years to see that they were still conversing amongst themselves before she leaned in closer to You. “Chika-chan told me. About her and Kanan-chan. And you.”  
  
You blushed even brighter if that was possible. “I-It’s not like I’m a pervert or something!”  
  
“What?” Riko tilted her head.   
  
“Huh?” You’s face fell when she realized she hadn’t really told Chika what she had done so there was no way Riko could know. “Nothing. It was an accident, okay?”  
  
Thankfully they were interrupted by Dia tugging Mari back by the wrist. “Apologize to my sister.”  
  
Mari huffed out a sigh. “I’m sorry for being lewd, Ruby. But I know you want to hit that sporty girl over there.”   
  
Ruby squeaked and looked away, blushing.   
  
“Huh?” You looked up, realizing Mari was pointing to her. “Me? Seriously? Wow.”  
  
Riko rolled her eyes as a smug grin graced You’s lips.   
  
“ _Mari_!” Dia growled angrily. “And...Ruby?!”  
  
“Y-You-chan is...really hard not to look at.” Ruby said in embarrassment. “A-And she’s really cute too. When she wears her glasses especially…”  
  
“And she’s only one year older!” Mari piped up from Dia’s side. “And she’s like a younger Kanan. Who else would you want your sister to be with?”  
  
“Not Kanan.” Dia said through gritted teeth. She shot You a warning look. “ _Mari, seriously_!”  
  
“Well not like Kanan’s personality but…” Mari looked toward You. “You-chan, lift your shirt.”  
  
“Huh? Okay…” You got to her knees and lifted her shirt, showing off her washboard abdomen, muscles just visible.   
  
“Wha…? NO!” Dia exclaimed in outrage. She looked to Ruby only to find her staring at You. “R-Ruby! Look, um... _You-san, put your shirt down!”_  
  
“Ah, okay.” You let her shirt fall back into place. She cringed at Dia’s lingering glare. “I-I haven’t done anything! I mean I tickled her once a-and we work on costumes together sometimes. We’re working on the ones for the school performance….”  
  
“It was all You-chan’s idea.” Ruby said brightly as she looked over at You.   
  
You nervously laughed the compliment off. “It was nothing.”  
  
Dia stared between her sister and You, wondering how she had never noticed anything between them. Ruby obviously had a crush. “You-san, if you touch my sister…”  
  
“I-I won’t!” You exclaimed quickly. “I promise!”  
  
“Onee-chan…” Ruby complained, her shoulders slumping slightly. “You-chan wouldn’t do anything like that. She’s a gentlewoman.”  
  
“She’s a hungry predator.” Dia said, crossing her arms with a huff. “You’re too young, Ruby.”  
  
You opened her mouth to argue but quietened, remembering her actions on Kanan’s family’s boat. Maybe Dia had a point.  
  
“Oooh?!” Mari decided to cut in. “How old were you when you lost your virginity?”  
  
“S-Shut up!”   
  
Ruby caught You’s eye and questioningly tilted her head. You mouthed an apology before she looked away.   
  
“Let’s just relax, Onee-chan.” Ruby requested as she shuffled over to You’s side. Mari had been laying between them before but now there was nothing to separate them. “It’s Saturday.”  
  
Dia sighed but relented under Ruby’s pleading look. “Fine. But we have to practice more on Monday.”  
  
Ruby nodded brightly while the others looked nothing short of relieved.   
  
“We can always count on Ruby-chan to win Dia-san over.” You said under her breath, just loud enough for Ruby to hear her.   
  
“You-chan, do you want to get ice cream with me?” Ruby asked, lowering her voice so that Dia wouldn’t hear. It seemed her sister was bickering with Mari anyway. “I want to talk to you.”  
  
“Uh...sure.”  You got up after a moment of hesitation and glanced at Dia. Mari seemed to be watching them out of the corner of her eye and You noticed her wave her hand, signaling for them to go while Dia was distracted.   
  
Wondering what was going on, You walked off with Ruby at her side. “So um…”  
  
Ruby continued when You trailed off. “So what exactly is going on with Kanan-san and Chika-chan?”  
  
You blinked and looked over at Ruby. The girl was blushing so she was definitely nervous about asking, probably her shyness shining through. “Um...they’re just friends, I think. Friends who kiss a lot.”  
  
“And have s…” Ruby trailed off, failing to muster up the confidence to say that out loud.   
  
You grinned at her. “Yeah. I don’t know what they’re doing really. Maybe they don’t know either.”  
  
“How could they not know?” Ruby asked innocently.   
  
“Uh...it’s hard to say.”  
  
Ruby thought about that for a moment. “So friends can kiss then?”  
  
You kicked herself. “Ah, well...in a way. If they both want to. But I guess they’d have to be really close friends.”  
  
“Like you and Chika-chan?” Ruby asked curiously.   
  
You’s face warmed as she recalled the vivid fantasy she’d had to endure after seeing Chika and Kanan on the boat. “N-No, not like that. Maybe not that close. We’ve known each other for a long time.”  
  
“So...you and Riko-chan?” Ruby pressed. “Or...you and me?”  
  
You paused suddenly on the path next to the sandy beach. “Listen, Ruby-chan...you’re cute. And you’re really sweet but…”  
  
Ruby pouted. “Sweet is what my sister calls me.”  
  
“Ah...damn it.” You ran her fingers through her hair. “What I’m trying to say is I’m flattered that you like...looking at me. But we can’t kiss. Dia-san will kill me.”  
  
Ruby smiled at that. “So that’s the only reason you won’t?”  
  
“W-Well…” You trailed off as Ruby leaned in, a determined look on her face. “Ruby-chan…”  
  
Ruby grasped You’s shoulders, feeling her face gradually warm as she got closer to the girl. You was staring at her, surprising on her face and Ruby felt herself losing confidence. As her nose brushed You’s, Ruby quickly pulled away.   
  
“S-Sorry!”  
  
You sighed and glanced around to make sure Dia wasn’t in sight. Leaning in, she pressed her lips to the corner of Ruby’s before she pulled away, flustered. “T-There.”  
  
“I-I don’t think you did it right.” Ruby said softly.   
  
You stared at Ruby for a moment before breaking into soft laughter. She gently patted Ruby’s shoulder. “There are a lot of ways to kiss, Ruby-chan.”  
  
“Can you show me?” Ruby asked hopefully as the two began to walk along again.   
  
“Let’s just get ice cream, okay?”  
  
Ruby pouted. “My feet hurt. Can you carry me?”  
  
You laughed at the request though she was glad that the conversation had taken a more innocent turn. She hunched over, gesturing for Ruby to hop onto her back. Once the girl was situated, You began to walk and instantly regretted her decision. Though Ruby wasn’t well endowed in the breast department, You could still feel her pressing against her back. “Damn it…”  
  
“Did you say something, You-chan?” Ruby asked, resting her chin on You’s shoulder as they walked.   
  
“Nothing.” You answered quickly. “What kind of ice cream do you want?”  
  
“Vanilla.”  
  
You sighed. “H-How about strawberry?”  
  
“What will you get?” Ruby asked without answering You’s question.   
  
“Uh...chocolate.”  
  
“I still want vanilla.” Ruby said with a small smile.   
  
“What about snow cones?” You asked, shifting her grip on Ruby’s legs to make sure she wouldn’t let go. “You like snow cones, right?”  
  
“I like ice cream more.” Ruby answered with a shrug. Thankfully they’d reached the ice cream truck already. Without letting go of You, she placed both of their orders.   
  
You raised an eyebrow in surprise at the bold act. She was distracted by that for a few minutes. It was only when they were on their way back to the beach that You realized she should have asked the others if they wanted anything. She shrugged it off though, pausing a short way from the others to set Ruby down.   
  
“So your sister doesn’t punch me.” She explained when Ruby frowned at her.   
  
“Oh. Okay.”   
  
You blushed as Ruby licked at her ice cream. She quickly looked away and continued on her way down the beach. Now Mari and Ruby had put the idea in her mind she was thinking about it.   
  
“Where have you been?” Dia asked, relieved to see Ruby.   
  
“We went to get ice cream.” Ruby answered with a shrug as she sat down. You sat down next to her with a sigh, pointedly avoiding Dia’s eyes. She glanced over at Ruby who was eating her ice cream. The girl wasn’t even looking at her and You found herself captivated.   
  
“You-chan, be careful. You’re going to…” You looked up at Riko’s warning but it was already too late. Ice cream dripped onto her shirt and she gasped from the cold, quickly shoving her ice cream cone into Riko’s hand.   
  
“YOU-SAN!” Dia exclaimed as You tore off her shirt. She looked to her younger sister, finding her staring once more.  
  
“Hot!” Mari exclaimed in English, earning herself a glare from Dia.   
  
“ _Mari-san!”_ _  
__  
_ “Oh, there’s Kanan and Chikachi!” Mari exclaimed as she spotted Kanan and Chika approaching. She bound over to them, clinging to Kanan as always. “Kanan, you smell like Chikachi.”  
  
“MARI!” Kanan and Dia exclaimed in unison.   
  
“What’s going on?” Chika glanced between them, her gaze lingering on You. “Why aren’t you wearing a shirt?”  
  
You sighed. “Who cares, we’re at the beach!”  
  
“But you’re not wearing a bikini, you’re wearing a bra.”  
  
You frowned at the observation. “Well it’s hot. And I spilled my ice…”  
  
“Ruby-chan, your ice cream, zura!” Hanamaru exclaimed hurriedly.   
  
“HUH?!” Ruby looked at her ice cream in time to see it fall from the cone entirely, right onto her skirt.   
  
Dia’s eyes twitched. “You have got to be kidding me…”  
  
“You, here’s a napkin. Wipe it off!” Mari shoved a napkin into You’s hand.   
  
“W-What?! Why me?!” You gaped at Mari in shock.   
  
“Give me that!” Dia snatched the napkin away from You and went to help Ruby clean up the ice cream. “You need to be more careful, Ruby.”  
  
“Sorry, I was distracted.” Ruby said sheepishly as Dia helped her to wipe her skirt clean. She couldn’t exactly strip like You had. She supposed she should have worn a swimsuit under her clothes.   
  
Dia looked up. “By what?”  
  
“N-Nothing.” Ruby said quickly, her eyes darting briefly to You. She heard Dia sigh and looked back toward her.   
  
“We need to have a conversation when we get home.” Dia said, her expression blank. Her tone was serious though, letting Ruby know it wouldn’t be a positive conversation.   
  
“Okay…” Ruby allowed her gaze to stray back to You.   
  
“Stop staring at her!” Dia exclaimed though she made sure to keep her voice down. She didn’t want to inflate You’s ego after all.   
  
“But she has a nice che-”  
  
“RUBY!” Dia certainly wasn’t concerned about being quiet now. “You, cover yourself! Use your hat if you have to!”  
  
“E-Eh? What am I meant to cover?!”  
  
“Your boobs! Cover your boobs!”   
  
You huffed and crossed her arms in front of her chest, doing her best to cover herself.   
  
Dia’s eyes widened while Ruby tilted her head. “Are you kidding?! THAT’S WORSE!”  
  
“Huh?” You looked down and let out a squeak of alarm, noticing the way her breasts were pushed up thanks to the position of her arms. She quickly moved to hide behind Chika. “There!”  
  
Chika snorted in amusement.   
  
You peeked over Chika’s shoulder. “Hey, where is my…” She paused as her gaze landed on Riko who was sitting with an unimpressed look, You’s ice cream having melted all over her hand. “Oh, sorry Riko-chan.”  
  
\-----  
  
Honoka’s breathing was a bit haggard as she reached the school gates. She took a moment, holding her head to steady herself as she leaned against the wall. She was quite proud of herself, having managed to get to school by herself. She had sent her girlfriend a text to let her know that she was doing so but she was surprised Eli had actually allowed it to happen. She’d half expected Eli to show up halfway there. She tended to worry about her a lot now, after they’d heard the news.   
  
“I’m just going to rest here.” Honoka murmured to herself as she slowly crouched down, the wall at her back. “Just for a minute.” She rested her forehead against her knees, taking a few slow breaths to ease her heart rate. She wasn’t sitting there for longer than two minutes before she felt someone tugging her up to her feet. She didn’t stand long. The person scooped her up and carried her toward the school.   
  
Honoka opened her eyes, seeing Maki carrying her. “Maki-chan. I was just resting.” She rested her head against Maki’s shoulder, closing her eyes. “I got here by myself so I was just taking a break.”  
  
Maki looked down at Honoka and smiled softly. “You’re doing great.” She said though she knew it wasn’t exactly true. She fell silent along with Honoka as they made their way to the music room. Once there, she gently set Honoka down. “Wait here.”  
  
“Okay.” Honoka opened her eyes again and looked around. She brightened when she spotted Kotori getting up from the piano bench. “Kotori-chan.”  
  
Kotori walked over to Honoka and lightly ran her fingers through the girl’s messy locks. She smiled as Honoka leaned into her hand, “Let me fix your hair for you, okay?”  
  
“Okay.” Honoka smiled softly and let Kotori tug her hair tie out. She closed her eyes, feeling a comb running through her hair before Kotori gently tugged it up into her signature ponytail.   
  
“There. Better.” Kotori said with a small smile. She sat down next to Honoka on the two chairs, gently taking her hand.   
  
Maki walked back into the room in time to see Honoka lean into Kotori, resting her head against her shoulder. She felt a pang of pain in her chest as Kotori’s eyes shone with hurt, love and frustration all at once.   
  
“Here, Honoka. Drink this.” Maki made her way over and handed Honoka an open bottle of water with a straw inside. Honoka drank it without lifting her head.   
  
Maki kissed Kotori’s forehead briefly before she crouched in front of Honoka. “Where’s Eli?”  
  
“I don’t know, I walked here by myself, remember?” Honoka answered, meeting Maki’s eyes. “Eli-senpai didn’t sleep over last night either. Her mom is strict about that kind of stuff. Her dad lets her sometimes though.”  
  
“So you were alone last night?” Maki asked in concern.   
  
Honoka shook her head. “Yukiho sleeps in my bed when Eli-senpai isn’t there.”  
  
Maki sighed and Kotori watched as she got up. “I’m going to look for Eli. Kotori, take care of this stubborn fool. Make sure she doesn’t go anywhere. Idiot. Can’t believe she didn’t call one of us.”  
  
Honoka answered with a soft laugh. “I love you too, Maki-chan.”  
  
Maki paused with her hand on the doorway, the thought that in just a few short months she wouldn’t hear that from Honoka again occurring to her. She wouldn’t hear her laugh either. Feeling her throat tighten she quickly left.   
  
Kotori sighed softly. “She loves you too, you know. Even if she can’t say it.”  
  
“I was just teasing her.” Honoka said, looking up at Kotori. “I don’t need to hear her say. It would be nice to hear it from you though.”  
  
Kotori smiled and wrapped her free arm around Honoka’s shoulders. “I love you. We both do. We’re always going to be here for you.”  
  
“I know.” Honoka murmured, squeezing Kotori’s hand.   
  
“Maki-chan is studying hard. She wants to be a doctor, she told me.” Kotori said quietly. She remembered finding Maki buried in medical theory books. She’d had to yank her away from the books eventually to calm her down.   
  
“Maki-chan is smart.” Honoka said softly. “You should marry that girl.”  
  
“Huh?!” Kotori jerked slightly in surprise.   
  
“In the future, I mean. You should take her somewhere and marry her. She’s a catch. She’s smart, attractive, she’s in love with you. You love her, don’t you?” Honoka asked thoughtfully. She bit her lip, thinking about Eli. “I wish…”  
  
“Hmm?” Kotori prompted softly as Honoka trailed off.   
  
“Nothing. Sorry.” Honoka cleared her throat, trying not to think about it. She was trying to be positive. “I’m just saying, you and Maki-chan are cute together. You shouldn’t forget about Umi-chan though, I don’t want her to be lonely. I neglected her too much...”  
  
Kotori felt her stomach twist uncomfortably. “Don’t talk like that, Honoka-chan. You’re here for Umi-chan now, aren’t you? She’ll be fine.”  
  
“I won’t be in six months though.”   
  
Honoka’s words hit Kotori hard and she bit down on her cheek, tears rushing to her eyes. She quickly blinked them back and took a shuddering breath. Honoka didn’t need to see her cry again. There had already been too much crying, most of it from Honoka’s friends. Honoka herself seemed to have run out of tears though. Or she was hiding them at least.   
  
“I’m not going to forget about Umi-chan.” Kotori said honestly, finally composing herself enough to speak. “Of course I won’t. And she has Nozomi-chan now too. She’s never going to be alone.”  
  
Honoka managed a fleeting smile at that. “Good. I’m glad.”  
  
Their conversation was cut short by the door across the room opening. They looked toward it in time to see Maki leading Eli into the room by her hand.   
  
Honoka’s brow furrowed in confusion. “Maki-chan?”  
  
Maki closed the door behind her and let go of Eli’s hand. “You shouldn’t be walking to school alone. She shouldn’t be letting you walk alone.”  
  
Eli looked away, her cheeks red. She pouted at the remark. She knew that Maki was right and she should have walked with Honoka but Honoka had said she wanted to walk alone.  
  
“It’s not Eli-senpai’s fault. I told her I could walk here alone.” Honoka said quickly. “I don’t want her to have to take care of me all of the time.”  
  
“I don’t mind!” Eli looked over at Honoka, her eyes wide. “I want to be there for you.”  
  
“But I mean I don’t want you to have to be. You’re my girlfriend not…” Honoka trailed off, biting her lower lip. “I just don’t want you to have to.”  
  
“Is that why you keep telling me not to argue with my parents when they say I can’t stay over?” Eli asked quietly. The sheepish shrug she received in response was all the answer she needed. She moved over to Honoka and crouched in front of her, taking her hands. “Please don’t push me away, Honoka. You need me right now. And I need this too, I need to be with you. I was so worried last night I barely slept at all. You’re not inconveniencing me in any way.”  
  
She pressed her lips to Honoka’s hand, silently pleading with her to believe her.   
  
“I’m sorry.” Honoka whispered. “I won’t do it again.”  
  
Eli leaned in and embraced Honoka tightly, mouthing a thank you to Maki over her shoulder.   
  
\----  
  
Kanan glanced down at her hand, joined with Chika’s. Her heart fluttered in her chest as she noticed the way Chika’s fingers were entwined with her own. Chika had made that move on her own. Kanan hadn’t wanted to push her but she’d done it anyway, of her own volition.   
  
Chika had been only quiet since they’d started their walk down the beach but Kanan knew better than to try to find out what was wrong before Chika was ready to tell her. She settled for basking in the warmth of the hand holding her own and looking out at the sunset on the horizon. She realized with a start that the situation was rather romantic. She didn’t know if Chika had realized that.   
  
“Are we dating?”  
  
Kanan stopped abruptly at the blunt question, her eyes widening. “Huh?”  
  
Chika turned to face Kanan. “We go on dates. Well...we’ve been on two. And we sleep together a lot. The normal way and the sexual way. We do things like this.” She lifted their hands between them. “So that must mean we’re dating, right? But we’re not steady?”  
  
“Steady?” Kanan frowned in confusion. “Huh?”  
  
“Steady means we’d be girlfriends.” Chika explained thoughtfully, letting their hands fall between them again. She made no effort to let go of Kanan’s hand, nor did she want to. “So I was thinking about it and I was wondering...do you maybe want to be steady Kanan-chan?”  
  
Kanan’s brow furrowed. “Like...girlfriends? You said steady means girlfriends but I thought…” She trailed off for a moment, trying to make sense of what Chika was saying. “What about Riko-chan? I-I thought you were with me until you could have her.”  
  
Chika winced at the hint of bitterness in Kanan’s tone. She deserved that. She knew she was hurting her. “I thought about it. I don’t love Riko-chan, Kanan. I-I mean I do. She’s one of my best friends and I love her as that but I’m not in love with her. I wanted to be because...I-I don’t know really. It felt right.”  
  
Kanan nodded but she didn’t speak, intent on listening to Chika instead.   
  
“I love someone else.” Chika said hesitantly. “The person I love is always there for me. Always believes in me and loves me no matter what mistakes I’ve made. They’ve been right by my side the whole time, I’ve just never seen them. I should have.”  
  
Kanan swallowed thickly. Hope shone in her eyes. “Chika-chan…”  
  
“I love you, Kanan-chan. And I want to be your girlfriend. Nobody else’s. I know I’ve hurt you and I’m so sorry. I can’t promise I won’t screw up and accidentally hurt you again b-but if you’ll have me I’ll do everything I can to make you ha-” Chika trailed off with a gasp as Kanan threw herself at her. She lost her balance and they landed hard on the sand. Chika’s behind ached but then Kanan was kissing her and she couldn’t bring herself to care about something so trivial.   
  
Kanan pulled back, Chika’s face cupped in her hands. “Of course I’ll have you.”  
  
She kissed her again, her hands trailing up into Chika’s hair as she pressed herself closer to the girl beneath her.   
  
Chika could tell that sand was getting into her hair but she couldn’t bring herself to care about that. “I love you.” She murmured against Kanan’s lips. She wrapped her arms around Kanan’s shoulders and drew her closer. She deepened the kiss, hearing Kanan whimper in response. She could feel the diver trembling in her arms but she didn’t know if it was from the cold or something else.   
  
It was only when the two were left breathless that Kanan pulled away though she proceeded to press light kisses to Chika’s jaw and neck instead. “Let’s go back to my house.” She suggested in a whisper. “Everyone will be out.”  
  
“Okay.” Chika was able to kiss Kanan once more before the girl stood up and helped her to her feet. She nodded confidently to herself. She was ready to fix Muse and win Love Live. She had to. After that, she could carry on with her life with Kanan, even if she still had to live with a heavy guilt upon her shoulders.   
  
She felt Kanan take her hand again and she smiled at her friend as she let herself be tugged back down the beach.   
  
\-----  
  
Eli glanced over at Maki as they walked down the street toward Nozomi’s apartment. “You’re still worried.” She said quietly, earning herself a skeptical look from Maki.   
  
“Among other things. How can you not be? If something happens how are we meant to help her?” Maki fretted. “I’m surprised her parents were so quick to agree to this. I wouldn’t have.”  
  
“It’s what Honoka wants.” Eli answered with a shrug of her shoulders. “We want to make her happy, that’s all. And we’ll all be there to make sure she’s okay.”  
  
“Right.” Maki said softly as she continued walking ahead. She didn’t know what else to say. If she was honest she didn’t know how to process what was happening with Honoka. Neither did the others, she was sure.   
  
Eli herself seemed to be ignoring the inevitable and focusing entirely on doing whatever she could do to help Honoka. That was made even more evident by the fact that she had agreed to the sleepover.   
  
“Hey.” Maki caught Eli’s hand after a moment of silence, drawing the blonde to an abrupt stop. When Eli looked at her in confusion she hesitated before speaking. “I know we’re not exactly the...closest members of Muse but I’m here for you. Kotori is here for you too. In times like this we should stick together and we don’t want you to think you don’t have anyone you can lean on.”  
  
“I have Honoka.” Eli said softly, her hand slack in Maki’s grip. “I’m not alone.”  
  
“Eli…” Maki trailed off, briefly biting her lip. She knew she wouldn’t be able to get through to the blonde. “Just remember that if you need us we’re here.”  
  
Eli frowned at Maki for a moment before she pulled away and continued to the apartment ahead.   
  
“You have a key?” Maki asked in surprise as Eli fished a key from her pocket.  
  
“Nozomi gave it to me a while ago.” Eli said with a shrug as she unlocked the door. She let herself and Maki in, the two of them slipping their shoes off. Her brow furrowed as she heard music coming from the other room. “Come on.”  
  
Maki followed Eli into the living room but stopped abruptly when she found Nozomi and Umi there, the latter pressing Nozomi to the wall as she kissed her. Maki could see Umi’s hand holding both of Nozomi’s above her head, pinned to the wall. She cleared her throat loudly, causing Umi to pull away.   
  
“Nozomi!” Eli exclaimed, frowning at Nozomi who was staring at them, a dazed look on her face.   
  
“More like Umi.” Maki muttered with a roll of her eyes as Umi tore herself away from Nozomi, her face turning a bright red.   
  
“What the hell are you doing?” Eli crossed her arms in front of her chest.   
  
“Uh...nothing?” Nozomi quickly straightened out her clothing. “I mean making out obviously but I wasn’t doing anything wrong. Neither was Umi-chan.”  
  
“Why are you making out…?” Eli shook her head in exasperation.   
  
“Because we’re together. I told you three days ago.” Nozomi pointed out uncertainly. “You don’t remember? Seriously?”  
  
“I-I don’t have time for crap like that right now. I’m focusing on more important things. Serious things that actually matter.” Eli growled angrily. “I don’t give a damn about your relationship.”  
  
Umi reached out, grasping Nozomi’s hand. “If you don’t then why are you yelling?”  
  
Maki raised an eyebrow. “Good catch, Umi.”  
  
Umi blushed further if that was possible. “Th-Thanks, Maki…”  
  
Eli frowned at Maki before she turned her attention back to Nozomi and Umi. “We came to talk about the sleepover.”  
  
“Right.” Nozomi said softly. She gave Umi’s hand a squeeze before she let go. “Sorry, I-I didn’t think you would have your key.”  
  
“You can have it back if you want.”  
  
“Don’t.” Nozomi winced at the suggestion as Eli moved to take her keys out of her pocket. “Um...let’s just plan this sleepover, alright? We need to keep this about Honoka.”  
  
Eli gritted her teeth and gave a nod of her head. She turned and went to sit at the table, waiting for Nozomi, Maki and Umi to join her before she spoke. “Her parents have agreed for it to be at the end of the week. Nico says she’ll help set up with Rin and Hanayo.”  
  
Nozomi and Umi nodded in response.   
  
“Unless Honoka brings it up I don’t want anyone to talk about her illness.” Eli paused, taking a deep breath. “She wants this night to be positive. She wants to spend it with all of us but if anyone brings it up, I swear…”  
  
“You don’t have to tell us that.” Umi cut in sharply, glaring daggers at Eli. “We’re not idiots. We love Honoka just as much as you do. We won’t do anything to upset her.”  
  
Eli stared long and hard at Umi. “I’m her girlfriend.”  
  
“I’m her best friend.”  
  
“Her best friend who likes kissing her when she’s not in her own body to say NO!”  
  
Nozomi stood up quickly from her seat and Eli quickly followed.   
  
“You don’t know what you’re talking about, Eli.” Nozomi growled angrily. “Chika-chan…”  
  
“If I have to hear that fucking name one more time…” Eli scowled angrily, gripping the edge of the table. “I’m not talking to you right now, I’m talking to Umi.” She turned her attention to Umi who had shrunk back in her seat. “So? What were you thinking when you let someone kiss you in _my_ girlfriend’s body? Hmm?”  
  
Nozomi placed her hand on Umi’s shoulder. “Chika kissed HER! Umi-chan was vulnerable and Chika-chan took advantage, damn it!”  
  
“Oh so you’re done defending her now?!” Eli snarled at Nozomi. She was so angry she was trembling with rage. She could feel it. “What did it take? Her making Honoka sick or giving her a damn _inoperable brain tumor?!”_   
  
“E-Elichi, that’s not fair.” Nozomi’s guilt subdued her own irritation at the blonde. “Honoka-chan didn’t want you to know. She didn’t want anyone to know. I was helping her just as much as I was helping Chika-chan.”  
  
“If you wanted to help Honoka you would have told me or someone else who could actually DO SOMETHING INSTEAD OF GOING ALONG WITH WHATEVER THE HELL _SHE_ WANTED! YOU-”  
  
Nozomi hit the table with the side of her clenched fist, the loud thud effectively silencing Eli. “I tried. I tried so fucking hard but that...that BRAT just didn’t listen! What was I supposed to do, Eli? You still have NO IDEA what you’re talking about. You still have no fucking idea what I did. I’M THE ONE THAT HAD TO TELL HER SO MANY TIMES TO FUCKING ACT LIKE HONOKA! I had to spy on your date to make sure she didn’t screw up. I had to constantly call and text her to remind her to act like Honoka around you. I did everything in my power. _Everything._ But the damn BRAT JUST DIDN’T LISTEN!”  
  
“Nozomi.” Umi whispered, grasping Nozomi’s hand to tug her back slightly.   
  
Eli swallowed thickly. Nozomi was terrifying when she was angry but that didn’t mean she would back down. “I could have stopped this.”  
  
“You couldn’t have done SHIT.” Nozomi seethed furiously. “Chika doesn’t like you like that. It would have only strained your relationship with Honoka if you’d known.”  
  
“I WOULD HAVE STOPPED IT. If I’d known I wouldn’t have reacted the way I did when _she_ kissed Umi.” Eli exclaimed, feeling her face warming with fury. “You said...you fucking TOLD me that this happened because Chika forced a change. Why did she do that? WHY?” She waited a brief second before she continued. “I would have left it alone. _She_ had no chance with Honoka.” She pointed to Umi though she didn’t tear her eyes from Nozomi. “Honoka didn’t love her like that. She told me.”  
  
Umi flinched at the remark.   
  
“I know. But would you have really believed me if I’d told you the truth?!” Nozomi asked incredulously. “You and Nicocchi always call my spiritual powers nonsense. How could I tell a non-believer?! Why do you think Honoka-chan trusted me? It was a complicated situation. You would have thought we were crazy.”  
  
Maki watched in concern as Eli seemed to relent completely, her shoulders slumping.   
  
“What’s the point?” Eli rasped, shoving her hands into her jacket pockets.   
  
“The point is I tried to tell you in some ways.” Nozomi growled in frustration. “But you kept brushing them off, you idiot. So I had to tell you about ‘off days’ so that it seemed normal. And then I did tell you and you didn’t want to hear it. Chika-chan tried to tell you and you didn’t want to know. And if you really didn’t believe it then to you it _was_ Honoka. If you didn’t believe Hono-”  
  
“I have to go.” Eli interrupted abruptly. She glanced once more at Maki before she left the apartment, leaving Nozomi, Maki and Umi behind.   
  
“I have to make sure she’s okay.” Maki said quickly, getting up too. “Great meeting by the way. Her girlfriend is dying. Maybe try to be at least a little bit understanding next time.”  
  
Nozomi watched as Maki took off after Eli. “I guess everyone’s pissed at me.”  
  
\-----  
  
You could feel Ruby’s eyes on her even from across the room. She had positioned herself as far as she could from Ruby without making it seem too obvious that she was trying to get away from her. Honestly, the girl made her nervous. Ruby seemed sweet and innocent but You was starting to see that she had a daring side too.   
  
As she stitched, she couldn’t help but wonder when Ruby’s crush on her had developed. She hadn’t done anything particularly flirtatious, she didn’t think. And she hadn’t spend more time with Ruby than she had with the other girls in the group, she was sure. She couldn’t help but wonder if Ruby liked her for her personality or whether the girl was just curious about her body. Maybe she even felt the need to experiment because Chika was doing it. You wasn’t sure if it would surprise her or not that Ruby was following Chika’s example.   
  
“Hanamaru-chan liked you before she met you.” Ruby piped up suddenly, drawing You from her thoughts.   
  
“Huh?”  
  
“She thought you would be more refined.” Ruby explained, setting the dress she was working on down. She hadn’t done much for the past thirty minutes or so anyway.   
  
“Well...sorry I’m not prince like?” You frowned, baffled by the turn in the conversation. She definitely hadn’t noticed any kind of vibes like that from Hanamaru.   
  
“That’s okay.” Ruby smiled, shrugging her shoulders. “I like your rough personality.”  
  
“Rough?” You asked curiously, tilting her head.   
  
“Not in a bad way.” Ruby said quickly, worried that she might have offended You. “I just mean you’re different from what we would have expected, that’s all. I mean...I like that side of you. I like that you’re a navy girl and you want to join, like your dad.”  
  
You felt her cheeks warm and she awkwardly rubbed the back of her neck. “Oh man, I need to stop running my mouth…”  
  
“I like when you talk.” Ruby crawled over to You, taking the clothing she was working on from her hands and set it aside. “I wish you would tell me more things about you...that I don’t know already. Things that nobody else knows, like...like a secret.”  
  
You swallowed heavily. This was bad. “W-Well I don’t really have any secrets, Ruby-chan. I’m an ope-” She was cut off suddenly as Ruby suddenly leaned in and kissed her. Her eyes went wide in alarm. Her hands flailed in the air for a moment, unsure of where to settle but finally landed on Ruby’s shoulders. She was tempted to push the girl away but she didn’t. She wasn’t sure she could.   
  
“Now you have a secret.” Ruby said quietly as she drew back. Her tone was confident but You could see the blush on her cheeks.   
  
You opened her mouth to reply but Ruby kissed her again, leaning into her just as the door flew open.   
  
“RUBY!” Dia’s voice echoed around the room and You quickly pushed Ruby back, probably a bit too hard as the redhead, who had been kneeling, toppled onto her backside. “YOU-SAN?!”  
  
“Oh crap…” You quickly scrambled to her feet as Dia started toward her. She scurried to the other side of the room, putting space between herself and Dia. “I-It’s not what it looks like! I didn’t do anything, I swear!”  
  
“I SAW YOU!” Dia yelled, her face turning red with anger. “You had your hands on my little sister!”  
  
“I-I didn’t, I swear. My hands were on her shoulders, that’s all!” You said quickly, holding her hands up in surrender.   
  
“You wanted to put them elsewhere.” Dia said curtly, crossing her arms in front of her chest. She seemed to have calmed down for a moment at least, now that You was quite far from Ruby. “Don’t think I didn’t see them going toward her butt.”  
  
“NO!” You cried out, horrified by the accusation. “Dia-san, you know me. I would never have touched her inappropriately!”  
  
Dia watched as You’s eyes shifted to Ruby. “You’re thinking about it!”  
  
“I-I’m not, I promise!” You cringed as Dia’s voice gradually rose again. So much for her calming down. “Ruby-chan, tell her!”  
  
“I-I um…” Ruby slowly got to her feet, nervously biting her lip. As much as she wanted to help You, she didn’t want Dia to think badly of her. “I-I kissed You-chan first, Onee-chan.”  
  
“RUBY?!”  
  
You watched as Dia turned to Ruby. She winced. She didn’t want Dia to be angry with Ruby. She knew how much Ruby looked up to her sister. “No, wait. I-I kissed her at the beach.”  
  
Dia swung back around to face You again. “You are soiling my sister!”  
  
“Eeeh?!” You leapt back at the accusation. “She asked, okay? I wouldn’t have just kissed her for no reason, I’m not a pervert! And I only kissed the corner of her lips. It was the first time I’d done something like that too, you know! I’m no more experience than Ruby-chan!”  
  
Ruby felt her lips turn upward slightly. You could be so cute at times.   
  
“Ruby, cover your ears.” Dia demanded. She watched as Ruby proceeded to do so before she stepped closer to You and lowered her voice. “So you’re saying you don’t have sex? Or masturbate? Mari-san says you smell of it.”  
  
“O-Of course I don’t!” You lied, her face flushing red. “I-I told you, I’m not like that!”  
  
“You are Kanan-san!” Dia declared loudly, pointing at You. “You’re a stud, just like her!”  
  
Ruby tentatively opened her hands to listen to the conversation.   
  
You’s eyes widened. “R-Ruby-chan isn’t a kid, you know. You treat her like a baby! Even Ayase Eli doesn’t do that with her sister.”  
  
Dia’s face reddened even further with rage if that was possible. “G-GET OUT OF MY HOUSE, YOU-SAN! AND STAY AWAY FROM MY SISTER!”  
  
“What? But…”  
  
“OUT!”  
  
Ruby lowered her hands completely then and hurried to Dia’s side, grasping her arm. “Onee-chan, it’s not You-chan’s fault! I-I made her kiss me. Honestly. Tell her, You-chan!”  
  
You gritted her teeth. She really didn’t want Dia to be angry with Ruby. “Dia-san is right. I should have known better than to let you. I should have stopped it.”  
  
Dia felt herself soften slightly at the remorse on You’s face but she tried not to show it. “We’ll talk about this later, You-san.”   
  
“Right.” You glanced at Ruby once more before she gathered her things up and left the room. Once outside the house she let out a sigh of relief. She had really thought Dia might slap her.   
  
\-----  
  
Nico straightened up, her hands on her hips and blew a strand of hair out of her face. It had taken a while but she’d finally managed to set the clubroom up so they could stay overnight. With Rin and Hanayo’s help she had pushed the desks to the wall to make space and laid out several futons on the floor.   
  
“We’re done, nya!” Rin exclaimed brightly as she looked around the empty looking room. It looked much bigger with all of the desks pushed back. “Do you think Honoka-chan will like it?”  
  
“I think she will.” Hanayo said quietly, touching Rin’s arm. She offered a small smile when Rin looked at her. After they’d heard the news, Rin had been beside herself for a couple of days, struggling to come to terms with it. Hanayo had too of course but Rin had been worse. Hanayo was sure she’d never seen Rin cry so much.   
  
Nico watched the two of them with a hint of jealousy. Though they tended to include her more than the others, they mainly leaned on each other and offered comfort mainly to each other. Nico wasn’t sure who she was meant to turn to.   
  
Her thoughts were interrupted by movement at the doorway. She looked up in time to see Kotori and Maki walk through it, Eli and Honoka behind them.   
  
Nico quickly looked Honoka over. She looked a bit pale and clammy but other than that she seemed okay. She was steady, holding onto Eli’s hand rather than leaning on her.   
  
Her gaze shifted to the photo they had taken on their day off, pinned to the board. She had cried more about Honoka than she ever did about Muse disbanding. She would happily give up Muse and any hopes she had of being an idol if it meant Honoka could live.   
  
She vaguely heard Rin and Hanayo greeting Honoka and the others and quickly turned her attention back to them. Tonight was meant to be positive for Honoka. She couldn’t give in to her emotions now.   
  
Honoka was surprised when Nico walked over and hugged her. While there was no animosity between herself and Nico, Nico was never usually so warm toward her. She hugged back anyway, smiling at Nico when she pulled away.   
  
“Thanks for setting this up, Nico-chan.”   
  
“It was nothing.” Nico said quietly, stepping back into the room to allow them to enter further.   
  
Eli walked Honoka to a chair and helped her sit, trying to be subtle about the fact that she was helping. She knew Honoka hated not being able to do simple things herself.   
  
“Thanks, Eli-senpai.” Honoka said with a small smile. She had to save her energy for their performances if she was going to push through.   
  
Nozomi and Umi were next to enter and Eli moved out of the way to allow them to hug Honoka. She watched from a few feet away, trying to keep her angered thoughts to herself. She had to make the night as positive as possible. For Honoka.   
  
“I uh...didn’t know if you two would want some privacy.” Nico said hesitantly, nodding to the futon that was a short way from the others. “You know because you’re dating and all. Or...whatever. I don’t want to hear the two of you going at it.”  
  
Eli opened her mouth to rebuke Nico but Honoka beat her to it, laughing softly.   
  
“I want to be with everyone else, Nico-chan. That’s why we’re all here. So we can be together. Thank you though, it was a nice idea.” Honoka looked to Eli for confirmation, receiving a small smile in response.   
  
“Right.”  
  
Maki noticed tension filling the air and crossed her arms in front of her chest. “Honoka’s not the only person in a relationship you know. Maybe Kotori and I wanted some privacy.”  
  
Nico scowled.   
  
“Besides, Maki-chan is the horniest out of all of us.” Nozomi pointed out with a smirk as she sat down on one of the closest futons. Umi sat down with her, leaning against her slightly.   
  
“Hey!” Maki said defensively. “It’s not my fault. Kotori is too pretty for her own good.” She eyed Nozomi. “You’re the pervert anyway. I’m surprised you haven’t jumped Umi already.”  
  
Umi’s eyes widened as the conversation turned to her.   
  
Nozomi smirked. “Believe me I’m shocked too. Her butt is hard not to touch.”   
  
“N-Nozomi!” Umi exclaimed, her face turning red. “That’s shameless!”  
  
Nozomi raised an eyebrow. “Shameless? Who was the one who pushed me into a wall last night? I still have a hickey from you.”  
  
“Nozomi.” Umi groaned, burying her head in her hands. She wasn’t angry though. She appreciated the attention from Nozomi if she was honest.   
  
Kotori nodded thoughtfully. “So Umi-chan is a secret top, just like Maki-chan.”   
  
Maki’s eyes widened. “H-Hey, enough talking about our sex life.”  
  
“You started it.” Nico pointed out, raising an eyebrow. “You’re the one who wants your own room so you can sc-”  
  
“I didn’t say that!” Maki intercepted quickly before Nico could get her words out.   
  
“Nozomi-chan is right.” Rin spoke up as Hanayo giggled at the interaction. “Maybe Maki-chan is a bit perverted, nya!”  
  
“I-I’m not!”  
  
“You could have fooled me.” Kotori muttered. “We did it when my mom was home.”  
  
“S-Shut up! Let’s just sleep o-or something.” Maki stormed over to the lights.   
  
Kotori looked toward Honoka, realizing the girl hadn’t spoken in a while. She found her watching them with a wistful smile on her face. She only caught a quick glance before the lights went off. Suddenly she felt something hit her, strong arms going around her waist. “W-Wha…?” Kotori looked down, finding Eli clinging to her. “Eli-chan, you’re crushing me.”  
  
“Hey, you have your own girlfriend!” Maki exclaimed in annoyance.   
  
Kotori winced as Eli’s grip tightened. “Ow, ow, ow…”  
  
“LET GO OF KOTORI!” Maki yelled indignantly.   
  
“T-TURN ON THE DAMN LIGHT!” Eli called back, refusing to let go. She only relaxed when the light was switched back on.   
  
“Elichi is a scaredy cat.” Nozomi teased, smirking at Eli. “She can only sleep with a nightlight.”  
  
Honoka winced. She had learned about that the hard way. She reached out, grasping Eli’s arm and pulled her toward her. “Come here, Eli-senpai.” She felt Eli’s arms go around her and leaned into the embrace.   
  
“I forgot my nightlight.” Eli mumbled in embarrassment.   
  
“I brought you the one you keep at my place.” Honoka said with a shake of her head as she looked up. “Besides, I’ll be right here.”  
  
“I know.” Eli turned her eyes upward, away from Honoka to hide the tears that suddenly prickled at them. Honoka wouldn’t be here for long, she thought. She had to live her life with Honoka to the fullest while she had the chance.   
  
Kotori smiled sadly as she watched them. Feeling an arm around her waist, she leaned into Maki’s side and a moment later felt her girlfriend gently kiss her forehead.   
  
Umi leaned back into Nozomi’s arms while Rin and Hanayo grasped each other’s hands tightly. To anyone else in the room, Eli’s struggle to hold back her emotions was clear.   
  
Nico cursed under her breath and turned away, roughly rubbing at her eyes. It wasn’t fair. None of it was fair.   
  
“Let’s go to the roof!” Honoka suggested hurriedly as everyone turned silent. “I want to see the city at night!”  
  
Maki frowned. “You can’t, you might catch a co-”  
  
“Maki-chan.” Kotori interrupted her girlfriend. When Maki looked at her, she shook her head. “I think that’s a good idea. As long as you let Eli-chan carry you up there.”  
  
“Okay!” Honoka nodded quickly. “Let’s go. Help me up, Eli-senpai.”  
  
“You’re getting bossy.” Eli teased, helping Honoka up before she turned away from her. She felt the girl’s arms go around her neck and lifted her easily onto her back while the rest of the group gathered up their blankets, mindful of the cold.   
  
With Eli leading, the group made their way up to the roof. Kotori stepped in front of Eli to open the door for her and together the group stepped out onto the roof.   
  
Eli walked to the center of the roof and felt a momentary stab of panic when Honoka tilted back. She tightened her grip and looked up to see that Honoka’s head was tilted back slightly so she could look at the sky.   
  
“Here, Honoka-chan.” Nozomi stepped forward and reached up, wrapping her blanket around Honoka’s shoulders.  
  
“Thanks, Nozomi-chan.”   
  
Nozomi nodded and stepped back. She shivered and Umi reached out, pulling her close to her side.   
  
Honoka smiled as she looked ahead at the bright lights of the city. “We’re going to win. Tomorrow we need to be ready.” She turned her head to the others, seeing Umi holding onto Nozomi, Kotori and Maki holding hands and Rin, Nico and Hanayo huddled together.   
  
She clutched Eli tighter, her eyes smarting with tears that she quickly pushed back. “You’re going to be okay.” She said softly, her voice catching as she spoke. She didn’t want to leave them. She wanted to go to college and keep living her life. With Eli. She squirmed on her girlfriend’s back and Eli hesitantly set her down on her feet. She felt a hand slip into her own and looked up to see Eli standing there at her side. She squeezed back and turned her attention back to the others.   
  
“Being in Muse with all of you made me so happy.” Honoka said quietly as the others listened with rapt attention. “But even...even when we disband and I’m not…” She gritted her teeth for a moment. She couldn’t force those words out. “Muse will carry on. Muse is us. All of us. It’s about more than singing and winning competitions.”  
  
“Muse isn’t Muse without Honoka-chan.” Hanayo spoke up, her voice thick with emotion. “We’re not Muse unless all of us are here.”  
  
Nico nodded in agreement, her eyes misty with tears. “You brought us all together. Muse is yours.”  


“But Nozomi-chan…”  
  
Nozomi shook her head. “Nicocchi is right. I helped but it was you who brought us all together. You inspired us to be better. To chase our dreams. And you’re the glue that holds us all together.”   
  
Honoka looked around, seeing her friends nod in agreement. She smiled softly. “You’re all my precious friends.” She said softly, struggling to think of what to say to them. There was nothing she could say. “And I-I…” She ran her hand over her face, feeling it trembling. “I don’t know what to say. We haven’t really...talked about it, huh? I guess I-I’ve been quiet about it with most of you.”   
  
“Honoka…” Umi said softly, tears unwittingly spilling from her eyes. She knew just as much as anyone else did that Honoka was trying to put up a brave front for them but she didn’t need to.   
  
“We’re here.” Kotori wasn’t doing much better than Umi but she spoke evenly, her tone calm.   
  
“You can tell us anything.” Nozomi said quietly, blinking back her own tears.   
  
“Yeah. Stop trying to be so strong all of the time.” Maki tried to force her voice to sound strict but she was crying just as much as the others. “Let us be strong for you for a change.”   
  
“I don’t want to leave any of you.” Honoka admitted, her voice choked. “I’m scared. I want...I want…”   
  
“It’s okay.” Eli said softly, turning her head to wipe her tears against her shirt. “I have you. I’m right here.”   
  
“I-I want to go to college and live my life with Eli-senpai!” Honoka burst out emotionally. “I want to see Kotori-chan and Maki-chan do the same. And everyone else too. I want to grow up and take over my parents’ shop a-and get married a-and maybe have kids. I don’t want to _die_ !”   
  
She turned into Eli’s arms, sobbing into Eli’s chest and the rest of Muse moved as one. They surrounded the two of them and hugged them as tightly as they could, each crying along with Honoka.   
\-----   
  
Mari walked to the end of the peer, shivering slightly at the chill in the air. It wasn’t exactly cold but she supposed she should have brought a sweatshirt. She looked at Dia who had been waiting for her. “Why did you call me here?”   
  
“I hate Watanabe!” Dia fumed angrily.   
  
“Oh no, what happened….?” Mari asked, dread setting in. The group had been getting along quite well lately but she supposed she shouldn’t have been too surprised that something had happened.   
  
“She’s screwing around with my sister!” Dia exclaimed loudly. “I saw them kissing in Ruby’s room. KISSING! Ruby is too young to be kissing _anyone_ , nevermind someone older than her. This is Watanabe’s fault, I know it is.”   
  
“So Ruby is becoming an adult. She’s not a baby anymore. She’s a normal person with normal hormones.” Mari pointed out. “You is a sweet girl. She wouldn’t do anything to Ruby.”   
  
Dia gritted her teeth. “You-san is not getting near my sister again.”   
  
“What if Ruby makes the moves?” Mari asked, raising an eyebrow. “It seems like she’s the one chasing You.”   
  
“S-She wouldn’t!” Dia exclaimed quickly. “It’s not like that!”   
  
“Fine, fine.” Mari laughed and shrugged her shoulders. Dia was so uptight. “I was just thinking out loud. But Dia, you can’t keep Ruby from doing what...or who she wants.”   
  
“Mari!” Dia growled angrily.   
  
“I’m kidding!” Mari forced herself to be serious for a moment. “You can’t though. If she likes You and you keep them apart she’ll resent you.”   
  
“What?” Dia felt her stomach sink at the thought. “Really? I-I don’t want that, I just want to protect her. She’s my sister! I can’t just let someone take advantage of her.”   
  
Mari smirked. Dia was too easy sometimes. “Maybe it’s the other way around. Maybe Ruby is taking advantage of You. I mean come on, You isn’t Kanan. She’s oblivious. She didn’t even know Ruby liked her.”   
  
“I didn’t even know!” Dia exclaimed in disbelief. “Ruby didn’t tell me. Usually she tells me everything!”   
  
“Maybe she was worried you would act like this.” Mari pointed out smugly. “Or that you would try to separate the two of them. You need to give You a chance. And then if she does anything you don’t approve of or anything that hurts Ruby you can be angry with her. But she hasn’t yet.”   
  
“I-I guess.” Dia frowned down at her feet. “I could talk to her, tell her what the rules are after I-I think of them. If she makes Ruby happy…” She groaned irritably. She didn’t want to be thinking about this. “I’ll try, okay?”   
  
“That’s my girl!” Mari exclaimed in English. “Maybe now that Ruby is getting some you should thi-” She was cut off as Dia shoved her off the edge of the peer into the water. Luckily she managed to grab Dia’s sleeve as she fell, pulling her with her.   
  
They both surfaced, spluttering.   
  
“What did you do that for?!” Dia exclaimed angrily.   
  
“You pushed me!” Mari laughed, pushing her hair from her face. She reached out, grasping Dia’s jacket and pulled her in for a sweet kiss. It lingered for a moment as Dia’s arms went around her waist before she drew back. “So you’re not a virgin, huh?”   
  
“I-I was drunk…” Dia mumbled, embarrassed.   
  
“You deserve your first time to be sober.” Mari said, her voice completely solemn for a change.   
  
“M-Mari…”   
  
“Not now.” Mari smiled, letting go of Dia. “Come on, let’s go to my house and get dry. The water’s cold.”   
  
Dia nodded and followed Mari out of the water, wincing as her clothes stuck to her skin. “I’m sorry I pushed you in.”   
  
“I’m not sorry I pulled you with me.” Mari smiled over at Dia and wrapped an arm around her waist to pull her in close. “Let’s hurry. I’ll have some tea made when we get there.”   
  
Dia rolled her eyes at the subtle reminder that Mari was rich. “Fine, let’s go.” She cleared her throat as they started the walk to Mari’s house. “Mari-san?”   
  
“Hmm?” Mari turned to Dia, her eyes bright and curious.   
  
“Um...n-nothing. Nevermind.”   
  
Mari gave a soft laugh. “Dia needs to be more honest.” She teased, giving the girl a gentle squeeze.   
  
Dia rolled her eyes. “I’m just glad I can talk to you, that’s all. It’s nothing, like I said.”   
  
Mari beamed and hugged Dia from the side, earning herself a groan of annoyance from the girl. “I’m glad you called for me.”   
  
“Yeah, yeah…” Dia muttered, blushing. If she’d been confident to be honest she would admit that Mari was the first person she thought to call. And the only person she’d wanted to talk to about what had happened.   
  
TBC. 


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here’s the next chapter, I hope you guys enjoy! 
> 
> Warning(s): Angst, medical triggers, character death.

You glanced up for what must have been the hundredth time at Ruby who was sitting across from her, working on one of the costumes they needed to finish. They had plenty of time to finish but the two wanted to get it done soon so they could make adjustments later if necessary.    
  
Ruby looked up too, catching You’s eye. She smiled as the second year looked away with a blush. “Has Onee-chan said anything to you?”   
  
“Um...yeah, kind of.” You answered hesitantly. She recalled that morning with a wince. Dia had stormed over to her and for a moment You had thought she might slap her. She had only come to say that she wanted to talk though. “She said she wants to set some ground rules if...if I’m going to be trying to date you.”   
  
“D-Date?!” Ruby exclaimed, surprised by the comment.    
  
“Yeah, she thinks we’re dating.” You muttered sheepishly. She leaned back in her seat, a resigned sigh escaping her. “I tried to tell her we aren’t but she stormed off before I had the chance. I think she’s still mad at me for kissing you.”   
  
“But I kissed you.” Ruby said regretfully. She fidgeted with the sewing needle in her hands. “I’m sorry about that. I didn’t know she would walk in. I didn’t mean to get you in trouble.”   
  
You shrugged. “It can’t be helped. I didn’t really mind it anyway. The kiss was...nice. I think. It was my first kiss so I’m not sure what it’s meant to feel like but it was nice. Your lips are soft.” She slid down slightly in her seat, blushing. “It’s just...I’m not sure why you want to kiss me, of all people. I’m not sure I’m your type.”   
  
Ruby’s brow furrowed in confusion. “What’s...my type?”   
  
“I-I don’t know, just...not me.”  You said with a shrug of her shoulders. “Wouldn’t Hanamaru-chan be your type? Or Riko-chan maybe?”   
  
“I-I could never kiss them.” Ruby said with a shake of her head. “I-I only want to kiss You-chan. I like you. That’s my type.”   
  
“Okay.” You bit her lip, troubled by the remark. “But um...well I-I don’t really know how I feel. I want to kiss you again so...maybe that means I like you too. B-But I don’t want to be like Dia-san says. I don’t want to take advantage or force you into anything.”   
  
“You would never!” Ruby stood up from her seat, a genuinely distressed look on her face. “Onee-chan didn’t mean it, she was just mad at you. Besides it’s not taking advantage if I take the lead.”   
  
You watched in surprise as Ruby walked around the desk and slipped in front of her, between the desk and the table, a determined look on her face. “R-Ruby…” She stuttered as Ruby leaned in, bracing herself with her hands on her shoulders.    
  
“What?” Ruby smirked though she still looked uneasy. “We are dating, right? We can kiss all we want...right?”   
  
“Y-Yeah, I guess.” You hesitated for a moment before she took the initiative to close the distance between them and kiss Ruby softly. She felt Ruby kiss back and the girl’s hands rubbed gently at her shoulder. Almost like she was massaging her but You knew it was meant to be reassuring. With slightly trembling hands she gripped Ruby’s hips and leaned further into the kiss, wanting to feel more of it.    
  
She relaxed slowly as Ruby continued to kiss her. Her heart rate didn’t slow down. In fact it only sped up further when she felt Ruby climb into her lap, lightly straddling her on the chair. She squeaked in surprise but Ruby paid her no mind.    
  
Deciding to experiment more, Ruby swiped her tongue over You’s lower lip and found that You quickly parted them for her. She deepened the kiss, her fingers sliding into You’s hair.    
  
“It’s okay, You-chan.” Ruby whispered against You’s lips as they parted for a moment. You opened her eyes and their gazes met intently before You moved in, kissing Ruby back, a little harder than last time.    
  
Ruby melted forward against You, relieved that the girl was kissing her back like she really meant it this time. No more than a few seconds passed before they door opened.    
  
“YOU-SAN!”   
  
You and Ruby parted quickly, looking toward the doorway in time to see Mari and Dia step into the room.    
  
Mari let out a low whistle, a smirk on her face. “Watch your hands, You.”   
  
You looked down to see her left hand just barely under Ruby’s skirt. She pulled it away with a gasp, her face turning red.    
  
Dia twitched near the doorway, gritting her teeth together.    
  
Ruby pouted. She missed the warmth of You’s hands on her. “Onee-chan…”   
  
Dia diverted her eyes and Mari decided not to tease her best friend, for a change.    
  
“Maybe you should sit in your own seat, Ruby.” Mari suggested with a small smile, placing her hand on Dia’s arm to soothe her. She knew Dia was making an effort not to lose her temper.    
  
Ruby huffed but got up and skirted around to her own seat, sitting down.    
  
Dia finally looked over at You and Ruby, relaxing slightly. “I came to speak to you about some ground rules, You-san. But considering you told me just a couple of days ago that you wouldn’t be touching my sister inappropriately, I see that you making promises may be a waste of time.”   
  
l“I-I’m sorry!” You stood up quickly, turning to face Dia. “I really don’t know what happened. We were just kissing, I swear.”   
  
Dia threw her arms up in frustration. She didn’t know what had happened over the course of a week to make  _ this _ her life now. Her sister used to be so innocent and she’d hardly ever had to worry about her spending time with boys. Or other people who wanted their hands in places other people’s hands shouldn’t go. She cursed under her breath, earning herself a surprised look from Mari who was the only other person to have heard.    
  
You shifted awkwardly as she waited for Dia to say something. She noticed Ruby looked worried too though she had seemed defiant before. Maybe it was just an act. “Dia-san?”   
  
Dia shook her head, at a loss for what to say. She took a moment to think, trying to sort through her own thoughts.    
  
“I should have rules too, Onee-chan.” Ruby declared suddenly. “I’m just as much to blame as You-chan.”   
  
“What?” Dia and You asked in unison.    
  
“You-chan wouldn’t do anything I don’t want her to. If her hands were on me, i-it was because I wanted them to be.”   
  
“Dia.” Mari said carefully, noticing Dia’s face turn a bit red with outrage. “Calm down.”   
  
Dia shook her head and crossed her arms in front of her chest. She really did feel at a loss for words now that Ruby had come out with that. She didn’t  _ want _ to say anything now, worried that she would say something she regretted to Ruby herself.    
  
“Okay!” Mari grasped Dia’s shoulders and turned her around to face the door. It was becoming more apparent that now wasn’t a good time for Dia to have this conversation. She steered Dia toward the door, glancing over her shoulder. “You two behave. I’m going to calm this gal down.”   
  
Ruby’s shoulders slumped as Dia and Mari left, the door closing behind them. “Onee-chan is mad at me.”   
  
“Yeah…” You sighed and sank back into her seat, rubbing her temples. “You should talk to her when she’s calmer. Like you would usually talk to her though.”   
  
Ruby frowned at the comment. “What do you mean?”   
  
“I just mean you’re trying to act defensive around her because you don’t like her accusing me.” You said with a slight shrug. “Just talk to her like you usually would. You two are close.”   
  
Ruby nodded and got up, moving forward to hug You. Feeling You hug her back, Ruby sighed and lightly nuzzled the older girl’s neck. “I’ll try…”   
  
\-----   
  
“Let me stay with you tonight.” Eli requested as she carried Honoka into Homura’s sweet shop. She flashed Honoka’s mom a smile on her way past, making her way to Honoka’s bedroom instead. “That performance took a lot out of you.”   
  
“Okay.” Honoka murmured from where her head rested on Eli’s shoulder. She was drained anyway after the performance. It had taken everything she had to get through, especially the encore.    
  
Eli breathed a sigh of relief. She wouldn’t have taken no for an answer anyway but at least Honoka wasn’t tiring herself out by arguing with her. She found Yukiho waiting anxiously in Honoka’s bedroom and nodded at her as she entered with Honoka.    
  
She gently placed Honoka down on the bed and began to lean back to get up only for Honoka to weakly grasp the front of her shirt.    
  
“Kiss me, Eli-senpai.” Honoka’s eyes opened to meet Eli’s.    
  
Eli blushed at the request. “Y-You’re sister’s here.”   
  
“I’m not looking.” Yukiho turned away, planting her hands over her ears as she closed her eyes. “She’s sick, you have to do what she wants. It’s like a rule or something…”   
  
“Yeah.” Honoka murmured, a small smile tugging at her lips. “It’s like a rule.”   
  
Eli chuckled softly and leaned down, pressing her lips lightly to Honoka’s. She kissed her for a long moment, feeling Honoka respond beneath her before she slowly eased back. She brushed her fingers gently over Honoka’s cheek before she stood, skirting around the bed to the other side.    
  
Yukiho noticed movement and turned around, moving to take Eli’s place. She knelt down next to the bed and reached out to grasp Honoka’s hand.    
  
Honoka’s eyes opened at the touch and she offered Yukiho a tired smile. “Don’t worry, I’m just exhausted. That was a lot of dancing.”   
  
“Yeah.” Yukiho agreed, flashing a smile that was quick to grow tearful. “You did great. Everyone loved the performance.”   
  
“Come here.” Honoka held up and arm and Yukiho quickly moved toward her, leaning down to hug her as tightly as she could. The embrace lingered for a moment before Yukiho pulled back, quickly wiping at her eyes.    
  
“I should go to bed before mom yells at me. I’ll tell her you’re sleeping so she doesn’t disturb you.” She said as she got up. She left quickly, closing the door behind her.    
  
Honoka stared at the door for a long while before she looked to the ceiling. She could feel Eli lay down next to her, pulling blankets over both of them. “The only thing I hate as much as leaving you behind is leaving her behind. I’m meant to be her older sister. I’m meant to protect her.”   
  
Eli shifted close to Honoka, an arm going around her waist to gently draw her close. “I know.” She said, her tone soothing despite the ache in her chest. “I’m here for you, Honoka. Yukiho knows it’s not your fault. We all know.”   
  
Honoka took a shuddering breath, her eyes smarting with tears. “You’ll be graduating soon.”   
  
“Yeah.” Eli said softly, reaching up to run her fingers through Honoka’s hair. “It won’t be long.”   
  
“I’d say I’m going to miss you but…” Honoka trailed off, something between a laugh and a sob passing her lips. Next to her, she felt Eli cringe at the comment. “I’m sorry. I know you hate when I make jokes about it. It’s not funny.”    
  
She turned onto her side to face Eli with a wince. “Maybe there’ll be some kind of cure before anything happens. Maybe Maki’s dad will think of a way to save me, huh?”   
  
“Maybe.” Eli whispered, blinking against tears. As much as she wanted that to happen she knew it most likely wouldn’t. It seemed like it was too late to do anything now.    
  
“Can I ask you for something, Eli-senpai?” Honoka requested softly.    
  
“Y-Yeah.” Eli quickly wiped at her eyes. Honoka looked almost embarrassed for some reason. “I have to do anything you want, remember? Your sister’s command.”   
  
Honoka managed a small smile. “I want you to want it though. I don’t want to push you into it.”   
  
“If I don’t want to I’ll say no.” Eli said softly. She could see that Honoka was serious about what she was saying.    
  
“Make love to me.” Honoka requested, her cheeks burning with embarrassment. “O-Or I don’t know, something sexier like...fuck me. I just want to feel your touch. More than anything. Please?”   
  
“Alright.” Eli said softly after a moment of hesitation. She figured she could do that without causing Honoka any pain. “The first one though, okay?” She crawled over Honoka, straddling her stomach but kept all of her weight off of her. “We’ll go slow, okay?”   
  
“I’d like that.” Honoka said softly, a warm smile tugging at her lips. When Eli leaned down and kissed her, she melted into it without hesitation, basking in the warmth and softness of Eli’s lips against her own. It was a feeling she had quickly grown addicted to over the past months with Eli. She felt hands tugging up her shirt and moved as best she could, without getting up to help Eli remove it. Eli obviously didn’t want her to sit up or she would have asked.    
  
Their lips parted for a moment but then Eli was kissing her again, more insistently this time, her hand sneaking under Honoka to carefully unclasp her bra. Honoka hummed in delight as Eli pressed as close to her as she could, slowly pulling the offending item of clothing off and tossing it aside.    
  
Feeling Honoka’s hand push against her chest, Eli pulled away quickly. “What is it?”   
  
“Take yours off too.” Honoka requested breathlessly. “I want to feel you against me. Please, Eli-senpai?”   
  
Eli sat up and tugged her shirt off, followed quickly by her bra. She noticed Honoka’s gaze go to her breasts and reached down to grip the girl’s hand, leading it there. She sighed softly as she pressed the hand to her breast.    
  
Honoka took a shuddering breath too, her fingers wandering as Eli held her hand there. “You’re so perfect, Eli-senpai.”   
  
Eli blushed at the comment and shook her head. She wasn’t perfect but it felt good for Honoka to see her that way. She slowly lowered Honoka’s hand back to her side and kissed her briefly on the lips again. “You’re the one who’s perfect.”   
\-----   
  
“How do we get into the hotel without booking a room?” Chika fretted as they walked toward the double doors of the hotel ahead of them. She still couldn’t believe she’d actually managed to track down where Nozomi was staying. In Tokyo, nonetheless.    
  
“Just pretend like we belong there.”  Kanan answered as she pushed the doors open. “Don’t worry so much.”   
  
“Why do I get the feeling you’ve done this before?” Chika muttered, earning a soft laugh from Kanan.    
  
“Well there was this girl…”   
  
“Okay, okay.” Chika huffed, rolling her eyes skyward. “I don’t need to hear about you with other girls. Actually...I really don’t want to hear about that.”   
  
Kanan drew Chika closer with an arm around her waist and kissed her cheek. She was tempted to tease her girlfriend but settled for changing the subject instead. “So Mari says You and Ruby are getting closer. She thinks they might make it official soon.”   
  
“Really?” Chika asked, surprised by the observation. “Poor You-chan. I guess Dia-san must be angry about it.”   
  
Kanan frowned, shrugging. “You is a good girl. There are worse people who could date Ruby. At least You isn’t a creep.”   
  
“Oh?” Chika smirked as they stopped next to the elevator. She hit the button. “She was watching us have sex on the boat you know.”   
  
“What?!” Kanan turned to gape at Chika, clearly shocked by the information. “No way. You?!”   
  
“Mmhm.” Chika nodded, a smug look on her face. The elevator arrived and she stepped inside, Kanan following her. “You can be pretty perverted sometimes apparently. She saw she saw everything. I mean she saw my ass. And boobs. And totally wanted me.”   
  
Kanan rolled her eyes at Chika’s smugness as she pressed the button for the fourth floor. “Not gonna happen. Ever. I’m the only person who can touch your ass. Or boobs. Right?”   
  
“As long as I’m the only person who can touch yours.” Chika countered, lightly nudging Kanan with her elbow. “I still see Mari-chan looking at you. Not that I can blame her.”   
  
“Please.” Kanan scoffed, rolling her eyes. “Mari’s in love with Dia. You’d have to be an idiot not to see that.”   
  
“Hey!” Chika exclaimed, offended by the comment. She frowned, realizing what Kanan had said. “Wait...Mari-chan and Dia-san?”   
  
Kanan nodded. “Yeah, why not? I think they would work.”   
  
Chika thought about that for a moment before shrugging her shoulders. “Maybe. I don’t know. Isn’t there a saying, like best friends make the best lovers?”   
  
Kanan playfully narrowed her eyes. “Am I going to have to warn You off?”   
  
Chika rolled her eyes as the elevator doors opened. They stepped out into the hallway only for Chika to stop short.    
  
“Wait, wait…” Chika looked suddenly nervous. “Is this really a good idea? What if Nozomi-chan gets angry again? I-I know she has a right to but…”   
  
“I’ll be there.” Kanan placed a comforting hand on Chika’s back. “She’ll have to get through me to get to you and I’m better prepared this time. She only managed to punch me last time because I wasn’t expecting it. It’ll go a lot better this time, you’ll see.”   
  
“Hopefully I won’t have to.” Chika sighed. She made her way to Nozomi’s room and taking a deep breath, lifted her hand to knock. She heard shuffling from behind the door for a moment, followed by a muffled curse before the door was yanked open.    
  
“What the hell do you want?” Nozomi growled angrily.    
  
“Uh…” Chika took a small step back. “I-I was wondering if we could talk. Please.”   
  
Nozomi frowned. “Can I at least get dressed?”   
  
“Huh?” Chika looked down, realizing that Nozomi was wearing a loose nightgown. “O-Oh, yeah. Sure. Sorry. Do you mind if we…?” She trailed off as Nozomi walked away from the door “Come in?”   
  
She shrugged at Kanan and entered the hotel room. She heard Kanan close the door behind them. “Um...this is a really nice hotel room.”   
  
“It’s a crappy hotel room.” Nozomi snapped, causing Chika to wince. She stripped off her robe so she was left only in her underwear and rolled her eyes when Chika blushed and looked away. “What? I can’t change in the bathroom. Umi locked herself in.”   
  
“O-Oh…” Chika still kept her eyes averted.    
  
“Do you work out?” Kanan asked curiously, earning herself a shocked look from Chika. “What? I’m not asking because she hit me, she’s like...she has abs.”   
  
“Huh?” Chika glanced at Nozomi just as she pulled her shirt down. “Whoa.”   
  
“It helps blow off my anger.” Nozomi said with a shrug. “When I can’t do other things. My doctor says I need to do things other than take my pills. I’m trying to get Umi-chan  to come to the gy...wait, why the fuck am I tell you this shit?”   
  
Kanan smiled in response. “I have a calming effect. I’ve heard.”   
  
“You’re an ass.” Nozomi scoffed, crossing her arms in front of her chest.    
  
“And you’re a thug.” Kanan countered, raising an eyebrow. “At least I don’t punch people for no reason.”   
  
“A-Are they gone?” Umi stuttered from the bathroom, the door opening a crack.    
  
“No.” Nozomi glared at Chika and Kanan. “And they don’t seem to be planning to leave anytime soon. Come on, Umi-chan. Come out. You can hold onto me if you need to. I don’t want you to be uncomfortable.”   
  
Chika blinked in surprise as Nozomi’s voice softened. For a moment she thought she was listening to teenage Nozomi again. She watched as the bathroom door opened further and Umi appeared, moving quickly over to Nozomi. She frowned as Umi grasped Nozomi’s arm. “Is she okay?”   
  
“She’s fine. She has panic attacks, just leave her alone.” Nozomi said, a hard edge to her voice.    
  
“Does Kotori-chan know?” Chika asked in concern.    
  
“Yes. Now you have to answer  _ my _ question.” Nozomi retorted, even as she reached up to gently rest her hand atop Umi’s. “What do you want?”   
  
Chika took a deep breath. “I-I want to get Muse back together. Call it an apology to Honoka-chan. I want her to see, in...in the afterlife, that everyone in Muse can mend their bonds.”   
  
Nozomi stared at Chika for a moment before she gave a forced laugh. “Muse?” She asked skeptically. “There is no Muse without Honoka-chan.”   
  
“Your group is still super popular though.” Chika argued nervously. “J-Just think of what your fans would think seeing you guys performing together again. Even if it’s only one time. It could be in memory of her. And I-I was wondering if you can use your spiritual...abilities and connect me to Honoka-chan. I-I believe in what you do, Nozomi-chan. Please.”   
  
Nozomi gritted her teeth as Chika bowed, pleading with her. “Why should I? Do you have  _ any _ idea what we would give to speak to Honoka-chan again? Why should you get to do that? Why  _ YOU _ of all people?!”   
  
“Nozomi.” Umi whimpered, gripping Nozomi’s arm tighter.    
  
Nozomi’s expression softened for a moment.    
  
“Because I can still feel her spirit near me.” Chika said, taking a step forward. “I just need someone to connect me to her. Please, Nozomi-chan. You said this all happened because I pissed off the spirits, right? You always said things like that.”   
  
“I didn’t tell you that.” Nozomi said slowly, surprised by the comment. “I only told Honoka-chan and the rest of Muse.”   
  
“W-Well what if I can change everything?” Chika asked hopefully. “Maybe there would be a way to fix this. If I can go back in time to a specific point and enter Honoka-chan’s body. What if I could do that?”   
  
“You think you could appease the spirits by doing something selfless. By bringing Muse back together. You wouldn’t get anything out of it really besides not being responsible for someone’s death.” Nozomi said slowly, staring at Chika. “It might take something from you. A sacrifice.”   
  
“Anything.” Chika said solemnly. “I would give my life to fix this, Nozomi-chan.”   
  
“It won’t be easy to bring Muse back together.” Nozomi warned quietly. “We’re scattered around the world. Eli is in Russia. And she hates me.”   
  
“And me.” Umi piped up softly.   
  
“We can do it.” Chika said confidently. “And then we can go back to when I kissed...you.” Her eyes shifted to Umi. “That was the turning point. If Eli had never seen that, if I hadn’t forced a change this would never have happened.”   
  
“So you change the past completely.” Umi said softly. She glanced at Nozomi. “You would never have kissed me, Eli wouldn’t have gotten angry and I would never have deepened my friendship with Nozomi. Which means we would never have gotten together.”   
  
Nozomi looked shocked for a moment before she realized that Umi was right. “I-I don’t want that.” She noticed tears in Umi’s eyes and glanced back at Kanan and Chika. “You two get out.”   
  
“What? But we need Maki-chan and Kotori-chan to…”   
  
“I’ll deal with that later, just get out for now. I’ll get Maki-chan and Kotori-chan and we’ll come to you. Just leave.” Nozomi pointed at the door and waited until Chika and Kanan left before she turned back to Umi. “Hey, don’t cry.”   
  
“Losing Honoka is the worst thing that’s ever happened to me. To us.” Umi said tearfully. As Nozomi cupped her face in her hands, she lightly grasped her wrists. “But you’re the best thing. What am I supposed to think?”   
  
“I-If it could save Honoka we need to do it.” Nozomi said, her voice trembling slightly. “If the worst happens and we don’t get closer, we won’t know the difference. We won’t know we could have…” She trailed off as Umi’s knees gave out beneath her and she slid to the floor, Nozomi crouching down with her. “Umi-chan.”   
  
“I don’t want to never be in love with you.” Umi said, tears sliding down her cheeks. “And I don’t want to marry a man. I would never confront my father. You gave me the strength to do that.”   
  
Nozomi sniffled softly. “I’ll do it again. I’ll remember you. I’ll comfort you after Chika rejects you in Honoka’s body. I swear, I will.”   
  
“B-But what if you don’t? We’re not that close in the past, what if I go to Kotori instead?”   
  
“I’ll make Chika tell my past self. She’ll tell me to go and be there for you.” Nozomi leaned in, brushing her lips against Umi’s. “I love you, Umi-chan. I’m not going to lose you.”   
  
“O-Okay.” Umi sighed and sank forward into Nozomi’s arms. She knew Nozomi would never lie to her. She trusted her without question   
  
\-------   
  
“I don’t see why we even had to come here.” Maki said with a heavy sigh as she squinted against the sunlight. “I can think of better ways to spend my only day off. Like at home, with my girlfriend. I have exams soon so next week is going to be crazy.”   
  
“I’ll explain soon.” Nozomi said with a roll of her eyes. “Stop being so damn impatient.”   
  
Kotori was silent as she stared out at the ocean. She knew that exam time was tough for Maki. Her girlfriend would probably spend most of her nights at the library, only coming home to sleep for a couple of hours before she went to her classes. She’d grown used to that recently.    
  
Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed movement and glanced briefly in that direction, noticing that Umi had moved to stand next to her. She realized with a start that she hadn’t seen Umi in a year. Possibly more, if she thought about it.    
  
She bit her lip and looked down, noticing that Umi’s hands were trembling. “Have you taken your medicine this morning?”   
  
“N-Not yet.”    
  
“Umi-chan.” Kotori sighed in dismay.    
  
“I don’t like taking it.” Umi said softly, shrugging her shoulders. “I feel like a basket case.”   
  
“Maki-chan says it’ll help you calm down. It’ll keep you from panicking so much.” Kotori explained, her brow furrowing slightly.    
  
“I-I want to control myself on my own…” Umi mumbled.    
  
Kotori turned slightly toward Umi and reached out, taking her hands. Her gaze shifted to Maki and Nozomi who were bickering between themselves. Nozomi was giving as good as she got but Kotori couldn’t help but notice that she seemed different. She wasn’t as antagonistic as she had been a year ago. It seemed like something had changed in her. She looked back to Umi, squeezing her hands. “Take your medicine, Umi-chan. You need it, especially with all four of us together again. This is going to be hard for all of us.”   
  
Umi hesitated for a moment before she nodded. She drew her hands from Kotori’s and reached into her jacket pocket, emerging with a container of pills. She gratefully accepted the bottle of water Kotori handed her.    
  
Nozomi shot Kotori a grateful look as Umi finally took her pills. “She’s been skipping it a lot lately. She really needs her best friend, Kotori. I can’t do it on my own.”   
  
Kotori stared long and hard at Nozomi. “You seem normal.”   
  
Nozomi frowned at the comment. “What do you mean by that?”   
  
“Just...you seem like the old Nozomi-chan.”    
  
“Oh.” Nozomi sheepishly cleared her throat. “Well...something happened...and taking prozac has really helped me.”   
  
Kotori looked surprised. Nozomi had refused to get help after Honoka had died. “You finally went to a shrink.”   
  
“Yeah, I um...started last year.”   
  
Maki, who had been watching Umi, looked back to them. “You took my advice then.”   
  
Nozomi shrugged her shoulders in response. “I had to do something. I was screwing everything up.” She looked to Umi who was staring at the sand beneath her feet. She was sure that if she’d continued on the path she was on without getting help she would have lost Umi.    
  
Kotori took a deep breath. “Are you going to tell us why we’re here, Nozomi-chan?”   
  
“You’ll see soon.” Nozomi said, shaking her head in response. She didn’t want to tell them herself. She was sure Maki at least would be furious. She looked around and sure enough, found Chika walking toward them, Kanan next to her as usual. “Can you be calm, Maki?”   
  
“What?” Maki frowned at Nozomi. She followed Nozomi’s gaze to Chika and Kanan and inhaled sharply. “Why the hell are they here?”   
  
Kotori noticed the two of them two. She didn’t recognize the taller girl but she recognized the other girl easily. She remembered Honoka describing Chika to all of them when she’d finally decided to tell everyone what had happened. She felt a strange combination of fury and calm, her hands curling into fists as she watched the two approach.    
  
“Uh...hey.” Chika glanced briefly at Nozomi before she focused her attention on Kotori. “I’m Chika. I-I don’t know if you…”   
  
“Takami Chika.” Kotori interrupted coldly. “I know who you are. You killed my best friend.”   
  
“Kotori.” Umi said softly as Kotori took a step forward toward Chika. She reached out to grab Kotori’s arm but stepped back when she was shrugged off.    
  
As Kotori approached, Kanan made a move to step in front of Chika only for her to hold out her arm, holding her back. “Chika.”   
  
“I deserve it.” Chika said softly, shaking her head. “Just let her do what she wants.”   
  
Kotori stopped right in front of Chika and gritted her teeth, her hand twitching at her side. “You deserve a lot more than anything I can do to you, Takami-san.”   
  
“Kotori.” Maki stepped forward and grasped Kotori’s arm, pulling her away from Chika. She glared angrily at the two. “I thought I told the two of you to stay away from her.”   
  
“Wait, you spoke to them?!” Kotori turned to Maki, shock written across her face. “W-When did you speak to them?”   
  
“I...fuck.” Maki muttered in exasperation. “At Honoka’s grave. I was there visiting her and these two showed up. I told them to leave and never approach us again.”   
  
“And you didn’t tell me.” Kotori tugged her arm away from Maki’s grip and shook her head. “I can’t believe you. Get them away from me before I do something I regret.”   
  
Maki’s hand fell to her side as Kotori stormed a few feet away, only pausing to angrily kick at the sand. She turned to Chika and Kanan. “Leave us the hell alone.”   
  
Kanan growled. “You’re on  _ OUR _ turf. This beach is a part of our town. You should be the ones leaving.”   
  
“Kanan-chan, that’s not helping.” Chika placed a calming hand on her girlfriend’s arm. “Please.”   
  
Nozomi quickly stepped between Maki and Kanan. “Everyone calm down. Please, just calm down and let me explain. Kotori-chan, come back! We need to talk!”   
  
“Screw you.” Kotori called back.    
  
Nozomi groaned under her breath. “Umi-chan…?” She looked around for Umi and found her staring at Kotori, her shirt clenched in her fist over her heart. “Fuck. Kotori-chan, please!”   
  
“No, seriously! SCREW YOU!” Kotori turned toward Nozomi, her face red with rage. “You know, I thought that finally you might be back to normal but you’re not, are you? Where do you get off bringing my best friend’s  _ killer _ here? What the HELL is wrong with you, Nozomi?! Do you think this is funny? You act like you’re the ONLY person who fucking suffered when Honoka died. I can’t do this, I can’t  _ see _ her. I don’t give a crap if you’re doing this to sort through your own issues and move on but I’m NOT ready to move on.”   
  
“KOTORI, STOP! PLEASE JUST STOP!”  Umi burst out tearfully, drawing Kotori’s attention to her. “NO MORE FIGHTING, EVERYONE JUST SHUT UP!”   
  
As Umi crumbled to her knees, Nozomi hurried over, crouching down next to her. Umi hadn’t had a panic attack this bad in years. “I’m here, Umi-chan.”   
  
“I WANT TO SAVE HONOKA!” Umi sobbed loudly, barely acknowledging Nozomi’s presence. “Please stop fighting, please just stop. She wouldn’t want this. She wouldn’t want ANY of us to be like this, damn it!”   
  
Kotori swallowed thickly. “Save Honoka? That’s not...that’s not funny, Umi-chan.” Her eyes misted with tears as she took a step back. “Honoka is DEAD. She’s not coming back.”   
  
Nozomi soothingly rubbed Umi’s back though it didn’t seem to be having an effect. “Umi-chan, please. You need to calm down. You’re breathing too fast. Please.”   
  
“I DON’T CARE!” Umi burst out, leaning over. She pounded her fist hard against the sand. “I want my best friend back!”   
  
“Umi-chan, Honoka is DEAD. Just stop!”   
  
“NOT HONOKA!” Umi retorted loudly. She looked up at Kotori through teary eyes, her cheeks flushed and streaked with tears. “I want Honoka too but I need  _ you _ , Kotori! I NEEDED YOU!”   
  
Kotori’s lower lip trembled. “You left me. What was I supposed to do, Umi-chan? You’d barely talk to me after Honoka died and then you just  _ left _ .”   
  
“I didn’t want you to see me weak.” Umi seemed calmer now at least. Not much but a little bit. “I thought you hated me. Everyone seemed to hate me except Nozomi.”   
  
Kotori walked toward Umi and knelt down in front of her. “I need you, Umi-chan. You were my best friend. You were the only person who understood. We had been with Honoka-chan since we were kids and...and suddenly she was dead. I needed  _ you _ .”   
  
“I needed you too.” Umi said, desperate for Kotori to believe what she was saying. “I shut down. I became a shell of what I used to be. I even had a huge argument with my dad, I...I wasn’t the same person. I’m sorry I’m so weak. But I need another chance. Please. I don’t want you to leave me again. I don’t want you to hate me. I’m sorry, I-I’m so sorry…”   
  
Kotori reached up, her own hand trembling this time as she cupped Umi’s cheek in her hand. “You’re not weak, Umi-chan. You’re stronger than anyone else I know. You’re so much stronger than me.”   
  
Umi whimpered and shook her head.    
  
“I’m not leaving you.” Kotori leaned in and hugged Umi tightly. She felt her best friend collapse against her, hugging her back fiercely. “I’ll never leave you again.”   
  
Chika stepped forward, clearing her throat. “Look...I know you all hate me. And won’t believe me at all but please just let me talk.”   
  
Maki sighed irritably from where she stood behind Kotori. She didn’t touch her girlfriend, aware that Kotori might still be angry with her. “One chance. That’s all you get. And you have one hour to convince me to agree to whatever the hell you and Nozomi have in mind.”   
  
“I thought you didn’t believe in the spirits.” Chika said skeptically.    
  
“I’m not making the same mistake I did when I was fifteen.” Maki answered seriously. “I shouldn’t have taken Eli’s side. But this kid has to convince me her plan will work.”   
  
Kotori got to her feet, helping Umi up along with her. The two took a step forward and Kotori scoffed when Kanan tensed. “You can call your guard dog off now.”   
  
“Huh? Oh...this is…”   
  
“I’m her girlfriend!” Kanan exclaimed, offended by the comment.    
  
Maki tilted her head, narrowing her eyes at Kanan. “She really rubbed off on you, huh?”   
  
Chika blushed as she glanced at Kanan. “I’ve come to realize that someone like Eli-san is perfect for me. Besides, Kanan-chan has been with me through this whole thing. I know you said I use people but I really cherish her, Maki-chan.”   
  
Kanan blushed and looked away.    
  
Kotori rolled her eyes at the two of them as she reached down to take Umi’s hand. “She’s not coming with us, right? She reminds me of Eli and it’s pissing me off. You know Eli left the country to…”   
  
“Kotori.” Maki interrupted softly, reaching out to place her hand on Kotori’s shoulder. “She knows. I’ve told her.”   
  
Kotori scowled and shrugged Maki off, causing the redhead to wince. “You have fifty five minutes left, Takami-san.”   
  
“R-Right!” Chika exclaimed, her eyes widening. “Another reason Kanan is with me is because we are the only people who have two timelines in our memories. That’s why we can save Honoka. Because we have a memory where she’s alive.”   
  
Kotori stared at Chika blankly. “Do you want to know what I think?”   
  
Chika grimaced. “Um...can it wait until after I’m done?”   
  
“I think you’re full of crap.” Kotori said as if she hadn’t even heard Chika. “I think you’re going to get Umi-chan’s hopes up and then you’re going to crush them.”   
  
“I-In my future Muse is still super close. The Akiba bowl wasn’t a tragedy, it was one of the best moments in Love Live history. Honoka-chan is in Tokyo-U with you and Umi-chan. Eli goes to a private university where she studies law...I think. Man, Dia-san talked about her ALL of the time before this whole mess. She worshipped her.” She stepped forward, taking her phone from her pocket. Unlocking it, she opened her gallery and pushed it into Kotori’s hands. “Here. Here are all of her notes. She even left me video chats sometimes. Listen to her.”   
  
Kanan awkwardly cleared her throat. “I remember when I was fifteen and Maki-san was seventeen...Dia forced me and Mari to go to a reunion concert. Seeing Honoka sing really inspired me to become a school idol.”   
  
“Y-You talk about her like you knew her.” Umi said nervously from where she was pressed against Kotori’s side.    
  
“I did. In a way.” Kanan answered sheepishly. “When she was in Chika’s body, we got close. I used to help her sometimes. She used to vent to me about Eli-san and...that kind of thing.”   
  
“Oh.” Umi nodded and fell silent as Kotori opened one of the videos. Chika appeared on the screen, a bright smile on her face.    
  
“YAHOO! FIGHT ON!” Chika exclaimed, seeming to bounce slightly on her bed in excitement. “Hey Chika-chan, we have like two new members now! Ruby-chan and Hanamaru-chan. Ruby-chan is super cute, I’m sure you’ll like her. She reminds me of Hanayo-chan. Anyway, it’s great to hear things went awesome in your first concert! At least you had a crowd, unlike me.” She laughed softly and sheepishly rubbed the back of her neck. “You-chan said in the end you all cried so I guess that’s...good? Anyway, I have a question.”    
  
Nozomi and Maki moved closer to Kotori and Umi so they could see the screen.    
  
“Why do you like Mikan? It’s to citrusy…” Chika seemed to shudder in disgust on the screen. “I tried to get some bread from the kitchen here but your sister TACKLED ME AGAIN!”   
  
Umi gave a soft tearful laugh, resting her head on Kotori’s shoulder.    
  
“Something about my weight.” Chika continued on the video. “She’s worse than Umi-chan. Ah, don’t tell her I said that though. Or that you said that. Or...I don’t know. Anyway, I was going to burn those calories so why does it matter?”   
  
“Because I’m top heavy compared to you.” Chika herself mumbled out loud, drawing the other’s attention briefly toward her.    
  
“You argued with her?” Nozomi asked, raising an eyebrow.    
  
“Every other damn day.” Chika said with an amused shake of her head. “We hardly agree on anything.”   
  
“So I wasn’t the only one pulling at you. Good to know. You’re hard to handle.” Nozomi said thoughtfully.    
  
Chika nodded. “So was Honoka-chan to be quite honest. But I’m worse, I admit.”   
  
“Anyway, I’ll see you next time, Chika-chan. One day you’ll make it to Love Live and maybe we’ll see each other for real. No, we definitely will. I just know it. Goodnight, Chika-chan!”   
  
The video stopped abruptly and Umi quickly took the phone from Kotori. She paced away with it and sat down in the sand, skipping to another of the videos. There weren’t many, only eight.    
  
Kotori decided to let Umi have a few minutes alone to listen. “Fine. You have my attention, Chika. Where can we go to talk about this?”   
  
Chika brightened at the positive response. “My house. The inn. I-I live in an inn.”   
  
“Of course.” Kotori said dryly. She looked toward Kanan. “And she has to…?”   
  
“I’m coming.” Kanan narrowed her eyes at Kotori.    
  
“Great.” Kotori said with a huff. She turned and made her way to Umi, crouching down behind her.    
  
“It’s Honoka.” Umi whispered, her voice thick with emotion as she stared at the screen. “I know it is, Kotori. I know it doesn’t look like Honoka but it is. I can feel it.”   
  
“Okay.” Kotori said softly, touching Umi’s shoulder. “Let’s go, Umi-chan. Let’s go together, alright?”   
  
Umi nodded and took Kotori’s hand, letting her friend help her up from the floor. She tightened her grip on said hand, refusing to let go.    
  
\-------   
  
“Are you sure it’s okay for us to stay here?” Umi asked anxiously as she stepped into Kotori and Maki’s apartment, tugging her suitcase along with her. Nozomi entered behind her with a couple of duffel bags.    
  
“Of course.” Kotori answered with a small smile as Maki entered last, closing the door behind them. “We have a spare room so there’s no sense in you staying in a hotel.”   
  
“I know, I just…” Umi frowned uncomfortably. “Back at the beach you said it would be hard to be around us so I just thought maybe you wouldn’t want us in your apartment. We don’t have to be here if you don’t want us to be.”   
  
“That was before you told me the truth, Umi-chan. You need me. I’m not going to let you fall anymore.” Kotori answered seriously. “Now calm down and take a deep breath. Takami-san even sent you the videos. You can watch them before you go to bed.”   
  
Umi dropped her suitcase and strode forward, hugging Kotori tightly. “I love you.” She mumbled, trying not to cry again. “You’re my only family, Kotori. The past couple of years without you have been…”   
  
Kotori didn’t need Umi to finish her sentence. She knew already. “I love you too, Umi-chan. You and Honoka-chan were like sisters to me. Especially since I was an only child.”   
  
Umi nodded in agreement as she felt Kotori hug her back. “Will you watch the other videos with me?” She requested hopefully. “Please? I don’t want to watch them without you.”   
  
“Of course.” Kotori slowly drew away and flashed Umi a soft smile. “I’ll show you to your room in a few minutes so you can settle in.”   
  
Nozomi cleared her throat. “I hate to interrupt but we need to think about how we’re going to get the others onboard with this. Eli most of all. We need to convince her to leave Russia. I don’t know how we’re going to do that.”   
  
Maki winced slightly. “Um...actually Eli is living in Tokyo.”   
  
Kotori, Nozomi and Umi all looked up sharply in surprise.    
  
“What?!” Nozomi exclaimed in disbelief. “Since when?!”   
  
“Um...maybe a month or so now. She came back after her grandmother died and she decided to stay.” Maki answered sheepishly. “We talk on the phone every couple of weeks and she told me the last time I called. She doesn’t want to see any of us though.”   
  
“Wait…” Kotori said softly, turning toward Maki. “Eli-chan is in Tokyo and you didn’t even tell me? You know how worried we’ve all been about her.”   
  
“She told me not to tell you.” Maki replied quietly, averting her eyes. “And she doesn’t have anyone else so I-I couldn’t break her trust.”   
  
“I’m your girlfriend.” Kotori pointed out, hurt and anger audible in her voice. “What about my trust? This is the second time today I’ve found out you’ve lied to me, Maki-chan.”   
  
Maki didn’t say anything and Kotori gave a soft sigh. “I really need a drink.”   
  
Maki frowned at that. “If it makes you feel any better she hasn’t contacted me in the past few weeks because I lied to her about you knowing what she’s been going through.”   
  
“It doesn’t.”   
  
Maki bit her lip. “I’m such an idiot. I shouldn’t have lied to you.”   
  
“Yes, you are.” Kotori said irritably. “And you’re in the other room with Nozomi-chan tonight. Umi-chan, you’re sleeping in my room. You two try not to kill each other. Come on, Umi-chan. Let’s go.”   
  
Nozomi raised an eyebrow as Kotori and Umi left. “Your relationship is going well then. Do you lie to her a lot?”   
  
Maki glared at Nozomi. “Our relationship is fine.”   
  
“Seems like it.” Nozomi countered with a roll of her eyes. “That must be why you’ve been thrown out of her bed for the night, huh? Because your relationship is going so well. By the way, you dropped this.” She fished something out of her pocket and tossed it at Maki. “Try not to let her catch that. Assuming it’s something else you’re lying about.”   
  
Looking down, the redhead noticed it was a lighter. “Fuck you!”   
  
“I’d rather you didn’t.” Nozomi said with a faux grimace. “I’ll keep it between us if you tell me what the hell is going on with Eli.”   
  
“I don’t know.” Maki said with a shrug of her shoulders. “She’s a mess. But everyone knows that. She hasn’t gotten any better than she was right after Honoka died. I’m just as in the dark about what she’s thinking as you are. I don’t know what the hell goes through her head anymore.”   
  
“You have to know something!” Nozomi insisted, at a loss. “You’ve spoken to her!”   
  
“I don’t know anything.” Maki said again. She really didn’t know what was going on with Eli. “She’s secretive. She hardly tells me anything. I mean she was drunk when she told me she’d moved back here.”   
  
“Fine, let’s talk about something else then.” Nozomi walked over to Maki’s couch and sank down, relieved to finally be off her feet. It had been a long day. “What’s going on with Kotori?”   
  
“Nothing.” Maki frowned, shaking her head. “She’s pissed about me lying to her, that’s all. But we’ll figure it out. We always do.”   
  
Nozomi looked like she was going to argue for a moment before she finally nodded.    



	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here’s the next chapter, I hope you guys enjoy! Thanks for all of your comments! :) 
> 
> Warning(s): Angst, medical triggers, character death.

Chika was feeling a little bit more optimistic as she made her was down the hallway at school. She was more hopeful now that she had an actual plan to try to save Honoka and had people willing to help her. The hard part was yet to come, she knew, but things were looking brighter.    
  
She noticed the door to the classroom ahead open but she didn’t think anything of it until a hand reached out and grabbed her arm, quickly yanking her inside. She yelped automatically just before she caught sight of You, closing the door. “You-chan…?”   
  
“I’m screwed.” You said in a panic. “I’m totally  _ totally _ screwed, Chika-chan!”   
  
“Eh?!” Chika shook her head in confusion. “Wait...what’s going on? Did something happen? Did you have a fight with Riko-chan?”   
  
“No! Wait...why would I fight with Riko-chan?” You frowned at the question.    
  
“I don’t know, I just figured…” Chika’s eyes widened suddenly in realization. “Did Kanan-chan say something to you? I didn’t plan to tell her you watched us have sex, it just came out. She didn’t seem angry at the time.”   
  
“You TOLD HER?!” You exclaimed in shock. “Ugh. It’s not that, okay?!”   
  
Chika frowned. “Then what is it?”   
  
“I made out with someone.” You frantically wrung her hands in front of her as she looked past Chika, nervous of Dia finding her. “A-And I gave her a hickey! I didn’t think and I’m SO DEAD!”   
  
“You-chan, I don’t under-”   
  
“RUBY!”   
  
“Oh!” Chika suddenly realized what was going on. “Shit. Dia-san...You’re so dead, You-chan.”   
  
“I know, HIDE ME!” You pleaded with Chika. She grasped Chika’s hands tightly. “Dia-san is going to notice and she’s going to lose it! You have to help me, Chika-chan!”   
  
“Oh my gawd…”   
  
You’s eyed widened at the sound of Mari’s voice. She wasn’t in the room though, she was in the next it seemed.    
  
“Mari-san, what are…?” Dia’s voice followed, taut with confusion. “IS THAT A HICKEY?!”   
  
You stayed quiet, waiting for Ruby’s reply.    
  
“Yes.” Ruby sounded blunt but embarrassed and You winced to herself.    
  
“Ruby-chan is so mature, zura!” Hanamaru piped up enthusiastically.    
  
“YOHANE IS JEALOUS! SHE’S SUPPOSED TO BE THE FALLEN ANGEL!”   
  
“Hide, You-chan.” Chika whispered, grasping You’s hand. She led her quickly over to the closet and pushed her inside. Just as she stepped away from it the door burst open and Dia stepped inside with Mari, Hanamaru, Ruby and Yoshiko behind her. “D-Dia-san!”   
  
“Is You-san in here?” Dia asked, looking around in search of You. “I thought I saw her come in earlier.”   
  
“Ah..no. I mean yes. She did come in.” Chika tried to casually lean against one of the desks. “But she left. It’s just me here now. Do you need her for something?”   
  
“I NEED TO…” Dia trailed off for a moment and gritted her teeth. “Talk to her. I just want to talk.”   
  
“Um...it doesn’t really seem like that.” Chika said with a nervous laugh. “But she’s not here. Maybe she’s on the roof? Or maybe she left already.”   
  
“Ruby, stop smirking and straighten your collar.” Mari chirped, noticing Dia looking at Ruby out of the corner of her eye. “Here, let me do it.”   
  
Dia breathed a sigh of relief as Mari straightened Ruby’s collar up, concealing the mark on her neck. She paused after, realizing it wasn’t very like Mari to go out of her way to do that. Usually she would just tease her.    
  
Chika was giving Mari a strange look too, confused by how responsible she was suddenly acting. “Um...yeah, as I was saying, You-chan isn’t here now. Can I help you with anything?”   
  
Dia growled under her breath. “No, you can’t. Wait...you can tell her that she shouldn’t be pursuing girls who are younger than her. Ruby is much too innocent.”   
  
“Uh...Ruby-chan is only a year…” Chika trailed off at the angry look on Dia’s face. Dia could be fairly scary at times. She put a desk between them before she continued. “Maybe if You-chan was Kanan-chan’s age I would tell her that but like I said before, maybe you should focus on keeping your sister’s hormones in check. You-chan has a hickey on her neck too. And one on her collar. I just didn’t want to tell her I saw them.”   
  
“RUBY!” Dia gasped, turning to her smug looking younger sister.    
  
Ruby suddenly didn’t look very smug. “H-Hanamaru-chan, class is starting, let’s go!”   
  
“DON’T LEAVE YOHANE BEHIND!” Yoshiko exclaimed as the two rushed from the room. She quickly followed them.    
  
Chika laughed nervously, realizing only Dia and Mari were left. “You’re not gonna kill me now that we’re alone, right?”   
  
Dia scoffed. “Tell You-san I’m looking for her.”   
  
With that she turned and walked from the room with Mari. The door closed and Chika breathed a sigh of relief. Suddenly the closet door opened and You hurried across the room, throwing her arms around Chika.    
  
“Thank you!” You exclaimed gratefully. “You’re the best friend ever.”   
  
“Yeah, yeah.” Chika grumbled, rolling her eyes as You pulled back. “Maybe don’t leave hickeys where Dia-san can see them. Kanan-chan likes to leave them on my…”   
  
“Stop!” You held her hands up, effectively cutting Chika off. “I don’t need to hear that and I’m not d-doing it with Ruby-chan!”   
  
“You’re not? Oh...I guess that’s a good thing. Dia-san might actually kill you.” Chika thought, looking You over. “And then I guess Mari-chan would help her hide the body…”   
  
“HEY!” You exclaimed, crossing her arms in front of her chest. “Don’t tell me that! I’m freaking out enough already. What am I going to do?”   
  
Chika shrugged. “I guess you’ll have to talk to Dia-san eventually.”   
  
You groaned. “I was worried you would say that…”   
  
\-----   
  
Honoka stared at the  computer screen, tears streaking their way down her cheeks. The organizers of Love Live wanted to send them to America so they could hold a third competition in Akiba Dome. But she wouldn’t be able to go. She would have to get her parents permission and with everything that was happening, she wasn’t sure they could give it.    
  
Hanayo was sympathetically rubbing her back, having been the one to show Honoka the invitation. She had chosen to do it quietly without telling the rest of Muse first.    
  
The door opening drew her attention to it and  Eli appeared in the doorway, the rest of Muse behind her. “Eli-senpai…”   
  
Concerned, Eli entered the room and made her way over to Honoka. Hanayo, who had sent out a quick text to Eli when Honoka hadn’t stopped crying, vacated her seat for the older girl, letting her sit down. Eli drew Honoka into her arms and looked up at Hanayo. “What happened?”   
  
“Muse received an invitation. Or a request, rather.” Hanayo pointed at the computer screen.    
  
Quickly the rest of Muse gathered around Honoka and Eli, leaning down to read what was on the screen.    
  
“America?” Kotori asked in disbelief, stunned by the news. “They want  _ us _ to go.”   
  
“To raise publicity…” Nico read from the screen. Slowly, she straightened up and glanced toward Maki. “Can Honoka even go like…” She hesitated, looking at Honoka. “With her condition?”   
  
“I wouldn’t want to risk that if I was her doctor.” Maki said softly, staring sympathetically at Honoka. “Her parents would never say yes anyway. If she went she would need to use steroids if she was going to dance. And what if something happened and we needed a hospital? There’s a communication barrier, not to mention…”   
  
“I can speak English fluently. As well as French and Japanese.” Nozomi pointed out quietly. “We would be fine.”   
  
“You could help out with the steroids and stuff, right Maki-chan?” Kotori asked hopefully, grasping Maki’s hand. “I mean you could help her inject them if she can’t do it herself. Your dad could show you maybe.”   
  
“Maybe but her doctor might advise her not to fly.” Maki reasoned uncomfortable. “If she’s at risk for increased swelling in her brain.”

  
“It’s worth a try though, isn’t it?” Umi asked quietly, her hand on Honoka’s shoulder.    
  
“You too, Umi?” Maki asked in surprise. She would have thought Umi would be completely against it “Fine. We can try. But if we do get to go you can’t abuse your medication, Honoka.”   
  
“I-I won’t!” Honoka sniffled, looking up from Eli’s shoulder. “I promise.”   
  
“I’ll give it to Eli and let her be in charge of it.” Maki said with a sigh. “You two will have to share a room together. With Nico.”   
  
“Huh?” Nico looked up sharply. “Why?”   
  
“No funny business.” Maki answered though she was staring right at Eli and Honoka. “I’m serious about that.”

“Then you’re all going to be in different rooms. NOT with your girlfriends.” Nico cut in, crossing her arms in front of her.    
  
“Fine.” Maki grumbled. She couldn’t deny that, she supposed. It was fair. “I’ll room with uh…”   
  
“Kayo-chin is rooming with me, nya!”   
  
“I’ll room with you, Maki-chan.” Nozomi said softly. She smiled at the grateful look Maki shot her.    
  
“I guess we’re roomies, Umi-chan.” Kotori said with a small smile.    
  
Umi smiled back. “Yeah.”   
  
“So we really are going?” Honoka asked hopefully.    
  
Eli hugged Honoka gently. “Yes, we are. You want it so we’re going.”   
  
Maki cleared her throat. “With your parents permission. We’ll do everything we can to get it but I don’t want you to be disappointed if we can’t go. If we can’t, it’s for a good reason. Your health is more important than some stupid publicity stunt.”   
  
“They’ll let me go, I-I think.” Honoka said, looking up at Maki with a tearful smile. “Thank you, Maki-chan. You’re always taking care of me.” As Maki looked away, grumbling, Honoka continued softly. “It’s Yukiho I’m worried about. She’s going to be angry. And she’s going to worry when I’m away.”   
  
“I’ll ask my dad if Arisa can stay with her.” Eli said softly, stroking Honoka’s hair. “She’ll be able to keep her calm.”   
  
“Thank you.” Honoka said softly. Looking up, she addressed the others. “All of you. I want to do this with all of you. More than anything.”   
  
Together, the group huddled around Honoka and Eli and leaned down to hug them, a few tears being shed as they did.    
  
\----   
  
Kotori shuffled into the kitchen, her eyes half-open still. As soon as she’d woken up she’d gotten out of bed, wanting to get things started as soon as possible. They would need to find Eli and explain everything to her.    
  
She paused, finding Maki in the kitchen, making coffee and what smelled like breakfast. Kotori briefly considered walking away but it was too late. Maki spotted her.    
  
“Um...I wanted to try cooking for you.”   
  
Kotori glanced over Maki’s shoulder. “You’re overcooking the omurice.”   
  
“Wha…?!” Maki turned around and quickly grabbed the handle of the pan, trying to keep a fire from forming.    
  
Kotori’s lips twitched upward. As much as she wanted to be furious with Maki, as much as she wanted to dislike her in that moment, she couldn’t. It wasn’t possible. She walked over to Maki, standing behind her and placed her hands on top of Maki’s, one hand on top of the hand clutching the pan and one hand on the hand holding the spatula.    
  
“You have to be gentle with the eggs.” She explained softly. “Hold the pan just barely to the heat and use the spatula to gently fold the egg over the vegetables and rice.” She helped Maki do so before letting go.    
  
Maki swallowed thickly. “W-What about the chopsticks?”   
  
“That’s for folding it the second time. Here, let me show you.” Kotori took the pan from Maki when her girlfriend offered it.    
  
Maki stepped to the side, watching closely as Kotori finished making the omurice. She waited until Kotori had set it on a plate before she spoke up. “I…”   
  
“You know how to use the ketchup, right?” Kotori asked, raising an eyebrow.    
  
“Ah, yeah...of course. I’m just not as artistic as you with the design,” Maki said with a shrug of her shoulders.    
  
“I’ll love whatever you draw on it.” Kotori said in a whisper as she stared down at the plate. She heard a sniffle and looked up in time to see Maki trying to dash tears from her eyes. “Maki-chan.”   
  
“I just want to protect you.” Maki cried regretfully. “I’m not keeping things from you for any other reason. I just want you to be safe and happy. Y-You’re so much better at this than me. I don’t know why I keep failing at the most basic of things in this relationship. I just hate seeing you cry, upset, hurt and...I-I know you’re not fragile. I don’t think I would be stable if you weren’t beside me. You were the strongest, Kotori. It’s the same as with Umi, I don’t want you to see me weak.”   
  
“I want to see you weak.” Kotor murmured, shaking her head. “I want to see you not push your own feelings aside for the sake of mine. Come here, Maki-chan.”   
  
Maki stepped into the offered embrace, hugging Kotori tightly. “I started smoking a year ago.” She said bluntly. “I started doing it when I saw my grades slipping in senior year. The exams and cram school were killing me a-and you were busy with college and I just needed something to calm myself. Fuck, I just want to quit. I hate it.”   
  
Kotori was silent for a long moment before she spoke up. “Do you want me to help you?”   
  
“P-Please, just...I need you to keep me from being a workaholic.”   
  
“If you keep me from becoming an alcoholic.” Kotori said, half joking. She let go of Maki and picked up the omurice and the bottle of ketchup. “Let’s eat together, okay, Maki-chan?”   
  
“Okay.” Maki wiped the last of her tears away and crossed to the table where she sat down with Kotori. She watched as Kotori used the ketchup to draw a small bird and a cat with a heart between them. She smiled softly at the gesture. “I guess...if we get Honoka back this would never have happened. Our life now. Maybe I’ll never have started smoking.”   
  
“At least we’ll still be together.” Kotori reached over and took Maki’s hand, giving it a light squeeze.    
  
“Huh, and I thought I would have to keep that a secret.” Nozomi said softly from where she was watching in the hallway with Umi at her side.    
  
“Those two really are the most stable.” Umi said, tentatively leaning into Nozomi.    
  
Nozomi sighed a little. “Did you take your medicine?”   
  
“Yes. Did you?”   
  
“Yeah.” Nozomi said quietly. She blindly reached for Umi’s hand, grasping it after a moment. “Do you feel okay about this? We have to find Eli eventually. And she might have to speak to Chika after that.”   
  
Umi cringed at the thought. “She’s going to do something stupid. You know that.”   
  
“I guess it’s a good thing Kanan-san will be there.”   
  
Umi straightened up, her heart suddenly racing. “They’re going to fight. What did Maki tell you?”   
  
“That Eli is drunk off her ass when they talk.” Nozomi said softly. She squeezed Umi’s hand. “They’re not going to touch you, Umi-chan. Eli wouldn’t dare and as much as I hate to admit it, I don’t think Kanan-san is like that.”   
  
“I won’t let her hit you either.” Umi said, her voice strong and defiant, taking Nozomi off guard. “She’ll have to go through me.”   
  
Nozomi smiled warmly at the comment. She didn’t doubt Umi. She would defend her even if she was panicking while doing it.   
  
\-----

 

“Are you feeling okay, Honoka-chan?” Kotori asked as Honoka took her seat next to her. They’d just gotten onto their plane, heading for New York and Honoka seemed a bit nervous. “You seem worried.”   
  
“I’m excited.” Honoka smiled back at Kotori. She was relieved her parents had agreed to the trip, albeit reluctantly. “But I’m a little worried about Nozomi-chan, having to sit next to Eli-senpai. They’re still mad at each other, I can tell.”   
  
“They’ll be fine.” Kotori said reassuringly. “Don’t worry about those two. Umi-chan will keep them in check. Nico-chan too.”   
  
Honoka didn’t look convinced but she needed anyway. There wasn’t much else they could do besides switch seats and while she wanted to sit next to Eli she wanted to sit next to Kotori too.    
  
“You should get some rest on the flight over.” Kotori suggested quietly. “I know you, you’ll want to look around as soon as we get there and I don’t want you to wear yourself out.”   
  
Honoka smirked. “You don’t have to act like my mother, Kotori-chan.”   
  
“I’m not your mother, I’m like...your older, more mature sister. I have to look out for you sometimes, don’t I?” Kotori asked expectantly. “Just like you look out for me and Umi-chan sometimes.”   
  
Honoka smiled softly at the comment. “Like sisters.” She murmured to herself, nodding her head. “I think of you that way too, Kotori-chan. You and Umi-chan.”   
  
Kotori winced at that, thinking of Umi’s old feelings for Honoka. At least she had moved on to someone better suited for her. She fell silent for a moment, thinking about that but so did Honoka. She seemed to be nervously biting her lip now. Kotori figured Honoka was thinking about when Kotori and Umi were the only two left out of the three childhood friends. She took Honoka’s hand, both for her friend’s comfort and for her own.    
  
Nozomi watched from a few seats away as Honoka rested her head on Kotori’s shoulder. She sighed. At least they weren’t as uncomfortable as she was.    
  
She looked back to Eli in time to see the blonde staring past her at Honoka and Kotori, a slight frown on her lips. “She’s fine. Kotori-chan is a good friend.”   
  
“I know…” Eli mumbled, sitting back in her seat properly. She knew Honoka was fine with Kotori but she wanted to be over there.    
  
“At least I’m not Nicocchi.” Nozomi joked, hoping to get a response from Eli. She didn’t. She cleared her throat uncomfortably. “So are you excited for the…?”   
  
“No.” Eli interrupted sharply. “I’d rather us not go for her sake, damn it.”   
  
Nozomi coughed awkwardly and looked up, catching Maki’s eyes. The redhead was sitting just a couple of seats away from her. “Help me.” She mouthed silently.    
  
She watched as Maki nudged the person next to her. A moment later, Umi stood up with her bag and made her way over.    
  
“Um...would you like to switch seats, Eli?”   
  
Eli looked up. “Who are you sitting with again?”   
  
“Maki.”   
  
“The seat’s yours.” Eli stood up and walked over to Maki, sitting down next to her with a heavy sigh.    
  
Nozomi felt a wave of relief wash over her as Umi sat down next to her. “Never leave me alone with her again.”   
  
“Nozomi.”   
  
“What? I can barely speak to her without her spitting fire at me. What am I meant to say?” Nozomi asked in frustration.    
  
“Let Maki calm her down. She can teach Eli how to use the injection through the trip too.” Umi reasoned, hoping to soothe Nozomi. She knew Eli not speaking to her girlfriend hurt her.    
  
“Can we watch a movie?” Nozomi wrapped her arms around Umi’s arm and pressed her face into her shoulder.    
  
“Sure.” Umi said with a gentle smile. “When we take off we can start watching together, okay?”   
  
Eli huffed in annoyance as she looked away from Umi and Nozomi. “Great. She gets to be with her girlfriend and I’m stuck here. Typical.”   
  
“Hey, my girl is with your girl.” Maki pointed out, raising an eyebrow. “We’re both watching them with envy. We just have to accept that they want to be together right now. Otherwise they would have already switched seats. They’re best friends, they need their own time.”   
  
“Why? Because they don’t have much?” Eli gritted her teeth, her hands balling into fists. “Fuck.”   
  
“Eli, you need to calm down.” Maki said softly as she watched Eli struggle with several emotions. “Saying things like that is only going to make you feel worse. Trust me. Here, let me just teach you how to inject the steroid.”   
  
“Eh? But we’re on a plane!”   
  
“I don’t have it with me, we’re going to watch a video on my laptop.” Maki said with a roll of her eyes. “It’ll…” She trailed off, briefly distracted by her phone. She checked her messages and blushed at Kotori’s request to meet her in the bathroom once they were allowed to unfasten their seatbelts. She looked back at her girlfriend, noticing a coy smile on her face, even with Honoka dozing off on her shoulder.    
  
“Maki, what are you looking at?” Eli shifted in her seat, struggling to see.    
  
“N-Nothing!” Maki said quickly, turning her attention to the space in front of her. “I’ll show you the steroid thing later, okay?”   
  
“Um...okay.”   
  
\------   
  
It was during her lunch break that Kanan decided to go and look for Riko. She’d intended to speak to the second year for a while now but hadn’t gotten around to it, with everything that was happening with Honoka and Muse. She walked down the hallway to the music room, already catching the sound of the piano being played. She knew it was Riko. She didn’t know anyone else who could play that well.    
  
She paused in the doorway, looking through the small pane of glass to be sure. Indeed she found Riko sitting behind the piano, her hands moving over the keys. She was relieved she had managed to find Riko so fast. Truthfully the girl could have been anywhere in the school.    
  
She pushed the door open and entered the room and the music stopped immediately.    
  
“Kanan-chan.” Riko said in surprise.    
  
“Take it easy.” Kanan said, holding up her hands. “I just came to talk.”   
  
She waited for a nod from Riko before she made her way further into the room, pacing over to the piano. She ran her fingers lightly over the glossed surface. “I figured I would find you in here. You’ve been avoiding us a little.”   
  
“Have I?” Riko didn’t look or sound shocked but it was clear she was trying to. “That hasn’t been my intention. Maybe I’ve just been busy with homework or school or something.”   
  
“I’m not oblivious, I can tell.” Kanan said, raising an eyebrow.    
  
“W-What?”   
  
“You like her.”   
  
Riko felt like the ground had been pulled out from under her and for a moment she could only open and close her mouth. Finally she managed to form words. “I-I don’t know what you’re talking about.”   
  
“Riko.” Kanan sighed and rolled her eyes. “Don’t play dumb.”   
  
“Fine.” Riko slumped down slightly, her hands falling to her sides instead of resting upon the piano. “Well I screwed up. I thought she was...crazy.”   
  
“Well that’s the worst thing to say to a distressed girl.”   
  
“NO!” Riko exclaimed, her eyes wide. Kanan jolted in surprise. “I-I didn’t say it out loud! But I...maybe hinted at it when she tried to tell me about whatever is going on with her.”   
  
“It’s true you know.” Kanan pointed out, her tone clipped with annoyance. “You should have believed her. She wanted your help. She even told me she wanted it over mine.”   
  
“O-Oh…” Riko worriedly bit her lip, looking down at her lap.    
  
Kanan stared at Riko long and hard. It was clear the pianist didn’t really understand the gravity of what she was telling her. “We’re dating now, the two of us. I don’t know if she told you that.”   
  
Riko smiled sadly. “She didn’t. I kind of figured it out myself though.”   
  
“You could have been in my position, you know.” Kanan frowned at Riko. She didn’t want to hurt her but she needed her to know what she had done. “If you’d just believed her. Or supported her.”   
  
“I had a feeling she might have felt the same way...I guess we misunderstood each other.” Riko took a deep breath and looked up at Kanan. “You’re the better option. You’re unconditional.”   
  
“I am.” Kanan said softly.    
  
Riko stared at Kanan pensively for a moment. “Is it true that you have experience? With more girls than Chika-chan?”   
  
Kanan nodded. “It doesn’t matter now though. She’s the only girl that makes me feel...happy. My heart beats faster when she smiles. It skips when she holds my hand,”   
  
“Sounds nice.” Riko said wistfully.    
  
Kanan straightened up a bit. “We’re friends too, Riko. So I don’t have to tell you not to go after Chika-chan. Do I?”   
  
Riko shook her head.    
  
“Good.” Kanan said softly, her stance slowly relaxing. “For what it’s worth, I’m sorry if I ended up hurting you by dating Chika.But I couldn’t just ignore how I felt about her. I love her.”   
  
“I understand.”   
  
The simple answer had Kanan thinking that while Riko did understand, she didn’t especially want to. She cleared her throat. “Thank you. We can still be friends, right?”   
  
“Of course.” Riko said with a hurried nod. She looked a little worried at the question, something that reassured Kanan somewhat. “I need some fresh air.”

  
Kanan watched as Riko stood from the piano bench. “Are you going to skip class?”   
  
“Maybe.” Riko answered quietly as she skirted around the piano.    
  
“Don’t follow my bad habits.” Kanan advised as Riko moved past her.    
  
Riko waved Kanan off as she left the room. She walked down the hallway, zoning out as she did so. She had thought that Chika had feelings for her but then Chika had told her she didn’t have feelings for anyone so she’d assumed that she’d been wrong. Riko remember with a twinge in her chest that Chika had been pressing her to see whether  _ she _ was interested in anyone though. Maybe Riko had just scared her off by lying to her. Maybe Chika had thought she didn’t feel the same way. A part of her wanted to tell her now. Just so that Chika knew the truth.    
  
She collected her shoes and left the school at a jog, in a hurry to get away. She had about ten minutes left until the end of lunch so it was easy for her to slip away unnoticed. She would deal with her mom later if the school called her.    
  
She reached the beach, vaguely noticing a photoshoot of some kind happening a short distance away. It was only when she got closer and heard someone speak that she really started to pay attention.    
  
“Gimme a profile, Nico-chan!”   
  
Riko wiped briefly at the tears that suddenly clouded her vision. Her eyes widened as she looked closer at the photoshoot, noticing a girl with wavy black hair, under a sun hat. She was wearing heels and a stylish blue sundress. Riko stepped close, making a mental note to look for it online.    
  
“Always so mature, Nico-chan.” The photographer was saying as he snapped pictures of Nico. “The other models tend to smile but you always know when to keep a straight face. Now give me that fierce look!”   
  
Riko inched as close as she dared, noticing the loneliness in the model’s ruby red eyes. Her brow furrowed in confusion. She recognized her from somewhere. “Nico-chan.” She repeated back to herself thoughtfully. The only Nico she knew of was Yazawa Nico from Muse and it wasn’t as though she would be there.    
  
Deciding to wait, Riko stayed where she was. She had only been planning on walking anyway.    
  
“Okay, that’s enough.” A woman standing on the sidelines called out. “The wind is getting too strong. Plus, we have a fan.”   
  
Riko glanced over her shoulder, looking around to see if anyone else was there before she realized the two of them were talking about her. She blushed fiercely, realizing she had been caught staring. As she backed away, she noticed the figures begin to pack away.    
  
She caught the model staring at her and froze once more. Suddenly the model was walking toward her. Riko considered running but it seemed her feet were glued to the ground.    
  
“What are you doing here?” Nico asked when she reached Riko. “You’re not allowed within five feet of the shoot. Damn it, don’t tell me you were behind me.”   
  
Riko narrowed her eyes as she looked up at the girl. In heels Nico was around an inch taller than her. “I was further than five feet away from you.” She pointed out. It had been clear to her that she was around ten feet from the shoot. She wouldn’t have dared get as close as Nico had said she was. “And...does it look like I was behind you? This is a public beach. Maybe you should have put up some warnings?”   
  
“Oh god, you’re like her…” Nico groaned in exasperation.    
  
“Excuse me?”   
  
“Nothing, just...an old friend. Nevermind.”   
  
Riko watched as Nico turned to her team and said that she was taking ten. She almost wished she had stayed at school. This conversation was only making her feel worse.    
  
Nico turned back to Riko. “Know a good place to get something to eat around here?”   
  
“Huh?”   
  
“I’m starving. I haven’t eaten anything since I got here.” Nico said slowly as if she was speaking to someone especially stupid. “So do you know a place?”   
  
Riko frowned. She didn’t like this girl’s attitude. “How old are you? Aren’t you supposed to be in school?”   
  
Nico twitched. “I’m twenty.”   
  
Riko blushed at her mistake.    
  
Nico smirked. “Playing hooky, huh? I’ve done that. Why don’t you come with me? It’ll be my treat.”   
  
“Go with you?” Riko echoed in surprised. She laughed in disbelief after. “I-I’m sorry, it’s just...you came over here and accused me of getting in the way of your photoshoot and now you want to take me out to lunch.”   
  
“Yes?”   
  
“A beautiful girl deserves something nice.” Nico shrugged her shoulders. “Besides, playing hooky usually means something is bothering you.”   
  
“And now you’re hitting on me.” Riko said, a little surprised. “Even though I’m clearly wearing a uniform so you obviously know I’m a student.”

  
“Don’t flatter yourself, You just look upset. I’ve been in the situation at your age. I just thought you needed something to cheer you up.” Nico argued, shaking her head. “Besides you have to be like...a third year, right? You’ll probably be graduating soon so it’s not like it would be weird for me to hit on you.”   
  
Riko hesitated for a moment. “Yeah. Yeah, that’s right. So um...what kind of food do you want to eat? I don’t know if I’ll go with you but I can show you the way.”   
  
“I don’t mind.” Nico answered with a shrug of her shoulders. “I’ll leave it to you.”   
  
“Okay. Follow me then.” Riko hesitated for a moment before she led Nico along the beach, trying to figure out where to go as they walked. “There’s not much here. You’re probably used to Tokyo or somewhere, right? You look like a city girl.”   
  
“In a way. I’ve lived in France for the past couple of years. Before that I lived in Tokyo…” Nico seemed to trail off in thought. She came to her senses after a moment though, clearing her throat. “Uh...I’m just visiting for a while.”   
  
“Are you staying here? In a hotel or something?” Riko asked curiously as they stepped off the beach, onto more solid ground. She noticed for the first time that Nico had taken her shoes off and had been holding them loosely in her hands. She paused for a moment to put them back on.    
  
“At an inn.” Nico clarified as they started walking again. “I have some business in Tokyo tomorrow but I’ll still be staying here.”   
  
“Business? Like another photoshoot?”    
  
Nico gave a soft laugh. “You’re pretty curious, huh? No, not another photoshoot. I’m visiting a friend.”   
  
Riko watched Nico closely, noticing her smile fade and her expression sadden. “I’m sorry to pry.”   
  
“It’s fine.” Nico smiled again but to Riko it looked forced this time. “I like your curiosity.”   
  
Riko smiled back, hesitantly. “You’re...daring. You seem like you would be fun to be around.”   
  
“Oh so now you’re figuring that out?” Nico laughed genuinely and Riko felt her cheeks warm at the sound.    
  
Nico reached out and ruffled Riko’s hair. “Sorry about earlier. I tend to be grumpy when I’m hungry and I wanted to get out of there.”   
  
“It’s fine.” Riko said softly. She stopped short, nodding toward a small restaurant she’d led Nico to. “Um...this might be a good place to stop to eat. It’s small but the food is nice.”   
  
“You won’t come in with me?” Nico asked as Riko turned, seemingly to walk away from her. “I don’t even know your name.”   
  
Riko turned back to Nico with a small smile. “Sakurauchi Riko.”   
  
“Riko.” Nico echoed softly. “Will you come and eat with me? Come on, I don’t know anyone else in this town.”   
  
Riko pursed her lips to hold back a laugh. “I um...don’t know if I should. I don’t really know you and well….I don’t know.”   
  
“Yazawa Nico.” Nico teasingly held out her hand. “It’s nice to meet you, Riko.”   
  
“What?” Riko stared at Nico in surprise for a moment. She numbly took her hand and gasped as Nico pulled her in close, kissing one of her cheeks. “I-I um…”   
  
“Sorry.” Nico said softly, smiling at Riko’s shock. “Habit. I’ve lived in France for a while, remember.”   
  
“I-It’s not that, I’m just…” Riko paused, unsure as to whether she should tell the truth. “Um...I feel like I’ve heard your name before.”   
  
Nico’s smile faded slightly and she let go of Riko’s hand. “Let me guess, you’re a school idol.”   
  
Riko nodded.    
  
“Well that would be how you’ve heard of me.” Nico said with a shrug of her shoulders. “Anyway, I’m not a school idol anymore. I haven’t been for a long time.” She looked over her shoulder at the restaurant. “Are you sure you won’t come in with me? I want to hear more about you.”   
  
“About me?” Riko asked in surprise. She wasn’t sure why someone like Nico would want to hear about her but it was touching that she did. “Um...sure.”   
  
Nico grinned and grabbed Riko’s hand again. She tugged her into the restaurant and they quickly found a small table in the corner to sit at. The waitress wandered over right away and they ordered their drinks.    
  
“So.” Nico said, leaning back in her seat. “What else do you like doing?”   
  
“Um...I play the piano.”   
  
Nico laughed at that. “Oh man, you really are her. Do you compose?”   
  
“No, my friend Mari-chan is our composer.” Riko said with a shake of her head. She was tempted to ask about Maki, given that she had figured out that was who Nico was comparing her to but she resisted the urge, not wanting to bring up painful memories.    
  
Nico leaned a bit closer to Riko, their eyes locked intently. “Your eyes...they tell a story about someone who isn’t sure about what they want. Do you want to talk about it?”   
  
Riko swallowed thickly. “I-I barely know you.”   
  
“Sometimes strangers are the best people to talk to.” Nico lightly touched Riko’s hand. “Come on, whatever you have to say can’t be that bad. I’ve done some pretty bad things too, you know.”   
  
Riko felt her composure crumble at the gentle touch, her throat aching and her eyes watering. As she broke into tears she reached up, covering her eyes with her forearm.    
  
“I just don’t know what I want.” She said tearfully. “I love playing piano but I’m not really good. I get nervous and now that someone I thought I liked is no longer close to me I feel I’m losing my last inspiration to play. Like I said I’m not even composing the songs, I’m just...a help. I don’t really do anything.”   
  
“Play for me.” Nico requested softly, giving Riko’s hand a light squeeze. “I don’t know how long I’m going to be here. I haven’t decided yet. But I want you to play for me before I leave.”   
  
Riko sniffled as she looked at Nico. “O-Okay.” She realized what she was doing and quickly wiped her eyes. “I’m sorry, I don’t usually do this in front of people I’ve just met.”   
  
“So you’re saying I’m special.” Nico smirked teasingly. She didn’t wait for a response from Riko though. “It’s fine, I don't mind. Let’s just order, okay?”   
  
“Yeah.” Riko slowly allowed herself to relax. “Okay.”   
  
She fell silent for a moment as Nico waved the waitress over. The two ordered and when the waitress left, Riko chanced another glance up at Nico. “My friend used to have a poster of your...group on her door. You look a lot different.”   
  
“Thanks?” Nico said hesitantly. She tried not to picture what that poster would have looked like, with the others and Honoka. “I felt like a change after high school. I used to have to fit the idol persona but they’re called  _ school _ idols for a reason.”   
  
“Right.” Riko said quietly. Much like everyone with an interest in school idols she knew what had happened within Muse, with their leader getting sick and eventually dying of her illness. “Well this look suits you.”   
  
“Thanks.” Nico said again, a smirk tugging at her lips as she leaned back. “You’re not so bad yourself, you know.”   
  
Riko blushed at the compliment. “I thought you weren’t hitting on me?”   
  
Nico gave a soft laugh. “If that’s how you react to something like that, I’d love to see how you react to me actually flirting with you.”   
  
Riko swallowed heavily. “You...still haven’t let go of my hand.”   
  
“Do you want me to?” Nico quipped. Nevertheless, she drew her hand away, letting it fall back to her lap. She drew something from her pocket and slid it over to Riko. “Here. Before I forget to give this to you.”   
  
Riko looked down. A business card was sitting in front of her, on the table. “Your phone number…?”   
  
“Well you promised you’d let me listen to you play.” Nico said with a shrug of her shoulders. She gave a soft laugh as Riko blushed once more.    
  
\-------   
  
Maki took a slow breath as she straightened her laptop in front of her. She wondered how long it had been since she’d spoken to Rin. It had been a long time, she knew that much. During their last two years of high school they had barely spoken. She’d hadn’t spoken with Hanayo much either.    
  
She felt hands on her shoulder and then Kotori was leaning down behind her, their cheeks brushing together.    
  
“I’m going to bed.” Kotori whispered, gently rubbing Maki’s shoulders. “Are you going to be okay?”   
  
“Yeah.” Maki said softly as she looked up at Kotori. “Yeah, of course. It’s just Rin.”   
  
Kotori lightly kissed Maki on the lips. “If you need me I’ll be in the bedroom.”   
  
Maki nodded and watched as Kotori turned and left. She waited until the bedroom door closed behind her girlfriend before she turned to her laptop. Trying not to think too much about it, she pressed the button to skype call Rin.    
  
It rang for a few minutes and Maki wasn’t sure Rin was going to pick up. She hadn’t warned her that she was going to call, after all. As she continued to wait for Rin to pick up she double checked the time difference. It was one in the morning in Japan, meaning it was eight in the morning in America.    
  
“Maki-chan?”   
  
Maki flinched as the skype call was finally answered. She flicked back to it on her laptop and paused when she saw Rin. The girl was jogging, her ponytail swinging behind her. “Your hair got longer.”   
  
“Uh...yeah.” Rin seemed to adjust her grip on her phone. Lifting her other hand, she used her sweatband to wipe her forehead. “What’s up? You wouldn’t call me unless...” She stopped short, alarm finding it’s way to her face. “What happened?”   
  
“Nothing, everyone is fine.” Maki said quickly, not wanting Rin to get the wrong idea. “I need to ask you for a favor.”   
  
“Now? I’m kind of busy. I’m practicing.” Rin said as she went back to jogging.    
  
As the phone moved, Maki could make out a track behind Rin, suggesting she was running on campus. “I need you to come back to Japan.” She blurted out.    
  
“Huh?” Rin frowned in confusion. “What do you mean? Why would I come back there? Are you not telling me something? Is someone sick? Is it Kotori-chan?”   
  
“NO!” Maki exclaimed quickly, her voice raising at the idea of that. “No, it’s not that. Um...it’s about Honoka.”   
  
“Honoka-chan?” Rin once again ground to a halt. Deciding to take a break for a few minutes, she walked over to the bleachers and sank down. She picked up the bottle of water she’d left there and pressed it to her forehead. “I don’t understand.”   
  
“I’m sorry.” Maki said sincerely. “I don’t really know how to explain all of this, it’s just...we need you back here. For...a reunion concert?”   
  
“You’re lying.” Rin retorted bluntly. “And I wouldn’t want to do that. Muse isn’t Muse without Honoka-chan. I can’t believe you would even…”   
  
“Okay, okay. It’s not that, I’m sorry!” Maki exclaimed quickly, seeing that Rin was getting upset. “I’m sorry, okay? But...it is for Honoka in a way. Eli is back in Japan.”   
  
“Good.” Rin said with a soft sigh of relief.    
  
“And we need you to come back because she’s leaving again soon.” Maki lied, hoping Rin would believe her this time. She felt bad for doing it but it couldn’t be helped. “And…”   
  
“Maki-chan, you’re a terrible liar. I’m hanging up now.”   
  
Maki cursed under her breath. “Wait, wait. Okay, fine. Just hear me out. Honoka needs you. She needs all of us.”   
  
Rin lowered her eyes. “Honoka-chan is dead. This isn’t funny.”   
  
“Am I lying though?” Maki asked expectantly. She watched as Rin looked up, seemingly staring at her intently. “Rin, please. Nozomi and Umi are here too. We just need you, Hanayo, Nico and Eli.”   
  
“You sound crazy.” Rin said with a shake of her head. “You know I hate bullshit, especially…”   
  
“I know!” Maki said as Rin trailed off. “But damn it, I’m begging you. Just come over. Give me a day! I’ll even pay for your plane tickets!”   
  
“Fine!” Rin finally relented with a huff. “But it better be important. I have track meets! I’ll call you later.”   
  
“Ri-” Maki was cut off by Rin abruptly hanging up on her. She sighed and slumped back in her seat. “That went well…”   
  
\--------   
  
“I um...have to go to the bathroom. I’ll be right back.”   
  
Eli rolled her eyes as she watched Maki get up and head down the aisle to the bathroom. Looking over her shoulder she noticed that Kotori wasn’t in her seat either. “Of course.” She muttered. She paused for a moment before she decided to get up herself. The fasten seatbelt sign was no longer on so she was free to go where she liked. Quickly, she made her way to the seats a few rows back and sat down next to Honoka.    
  
“Where did you go?” Honoka mumbled without opening her eyes. “You’ve been gone for a while.”   
  
“I think she went to make out with Maki in the bathroom.” Eli answered with a smirk.    
  
Honoka’s eyes sprung open. “Eli-senpai!” She exclaimed happily. “What are you doing over here?”   
  
“I came to keep you company. Kotori’s probably going to be a while.” Eli said with a roll of her eyes. She leaned in, pressing a gentle kiss to Honoka’s forehead. “How are you feeling?”   
  
“Um…” Honoka hesitated for a moment. “My head hurts. And I feel kind of nauseous but I think that might just be from flying.”   
  
“I feel a bit sick too.” Eli murmured with a nod of her head. “I wonder how those two can handle screwing in the bathroom.”   
  
Honoka made a face. “I don’t need to think about that, especially when I can’t do that myself. We’re not going to get much time to ourselves at the hotel…”   
  
“I’ll kick Nico out.” Eli said with a grin. “We need to get her a girlfriend.”   
  
Honoka gave a gentle laugh and shifted closer to Eli, resting her head lightly on her shoulder. “How do you know she likes girls?”   
  
“How do you know she doesn’t?” Eli countered, raising an eyebrow. “Besides I’m pretty sure she was into Nozomi at one point.”   
  
“Nico-chan and Nozomi-chan?” Honoka thought about that for a few seconds, nodding thoughtfully. “I guess that would make sense. Nico-chan is a bit hot-headed. Nozomi-chan would be able to keep her calm. Nozomi-chan is with Umi-chan now though. Do you think she might be interested in Nico-chan too?”   
  
“There’s a lot I can say about Nozomi right now but she’s not a cheater.” Eli said, irritation slipping into her voice. “And she wouldn’t be with Umi if she wanted Nico.” She looked over her shoulder, noticing a line forming outside of the bathroom. “Those two nerds are going to hold up the bathroom. Who would have thought Kotori could be so bad. Or Maki…”   
  
“Maki-chan isn’t surprising.” Honoka said with a shrug of her shoulders. “When we were…’dating’ she wanted to make out in the piano room. And in an empty classroom between classes…” She trailed off as Eli turned to frown at her. “Oh. Sorry. If it makes you feel better you’re a way better kisser.”   
  
Eli’s lips turned up at that but then they heard a moan from the bathroom and the smile slipped away. “Crap. I should go and get them.”   
  
“You don’t have to.” Honoka nodded over Eli’s shoulder.    
  
Eli looked up in time to see Nozomi storming down the aisle, an annoyed expression on her face. She relaxed slightly, a sense of familiarity settling over her. At least they were still the parental figures of the other members of Muse. She lifted her hand to cover her mouth against a laugh, noticing Nozomi mouthing that she was going to kill Maki.    
  
Nozomi got to the floor and rapped loudly on it. A moment later, a rather disheveled Maki appeared. Her button down shirt was untucked, three of the buttons at the top undone while her pants were only zipped, not buttoned. Kotori stumbled after her, her ribbon missing from her hair and her skirt wrinkled, like it had been pushed up then hastily tugged back down. Eli watched as Nozomi said something and the two blushed before Nozomi tugged Maki by the ear back to her seat.    
  
“Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow.” Maki cringed as Nozomi tugged her down the aisle.    
  
On her way past Umi, Nozomi seemed to apologize before she went to sit next to Maki.    
  
“You can take the seat next to Umi.” Eli pointed out when Kotori returned to Honoka. “I’m going to stay with Honoka. Unlike someone I’m not going to leave her to have sex.”   
  
Kotori couldn’t think of an answer to that. She bowed her head. “Sorry, Honoka-chan.” She mumbled before she wandered off to take a seat next to a furiously blushing Umi.    
  
“That was mean.” Honoka said with a soft giggle as she wrapped an around around Eli’s waist.    
  
“Well they have to learn.” Eli shrugged, smirking as Umi seemed to shrink away from Kotori slightly in embarrassment. “Otherwise they’re going to end up fined or arrested.”   
  
“I thought Nozomi would have teased them about it.” Honoka said as she watched Nozomi and Maki. From the way Nozomi was talking and Maki was staring at the floor, her shoulders slumped it was clear that some kind of lecture was going on. “Poor Maki-chan.”   
  
“Nozomi tends to be more serious when it comes to being arrested.” Eli sighed and shook her head. She didn’t want to talk about Nozomi. She didn’t even want to look at her but Honoka seemed captivated by the discussion going on. Eli watched as Maki tugged on her grey jacket and Nozomi grabbed the younger girl’s phone.    
  
“No sexting either.”   
  
Nozomi’s voice was just loud enough for them and several other people to hear and Honoka burst out laughing.    
  
Kotori slumped down in her seat as Umi scowled and started her own lecture about why she should be more responsible in a public place and what the consequences could have been for Muse AND the other passengers.    
  
“Umi-chan still hasn’t done it yet.” Kotori teased, interrupting Umi mid-sentence.    
  
“KOTORI!”   
  
Kotori smirked and glanced at Nozomi who was watching them out of the corner of her eye. She winked at her and turned her attention back to Umi. “I thought Nozomi would take you already since she’s the most perverted out of all of us.”   
  
Nozomi’s face turned bright red. “Kotori-chan, what are you talking about?!”   
  
“Nothing.” Kotori said innocently as Umi started to tug her collar further up her neck. “Just some girl talk between best friends.”   
  
Maki laughed at the look on Nozomi’s face. She turned in her seat, looking around at Kotori. “I love you.”   
  
“Enough, both of you!” Nozomi exclaimed loudly. “Now I know why Nicocchi said nobody can share with their girlfriend.”   
  
Nico perked up. “TOLD YA!”   
  
“Miss, please be quiet.” A passing flight attendant said, causing Nico to frown.   
  
“It’s like Umi-chan and I are the only responsible couple.” Nozomi said with a roll of her eyes.    
  
“Hey, we are too!” Honoka called from her seat, earning herself a few annoyed looks from other passengers.    
  
“MISS!”   
  
“S-Sorry.” Honoka said sheepishly, slumping back down in her seat. She lowered her voice slightly. “I think it’s time for most of us to go to sleep. Rin and Hanayo are already.”   
  
“Yeah and they’re both sleeping on my shoulders!” Nico scowled.    
  
_ “MISS!” _   
  
“Sorry, sorry…” Nico grumbled, rolling her eyes as the flight attendant berated them once more.    
  
“As I was saying, you need to be more responsible.” Nozomi told Kotori as she looked over at her.    
  
“Please.” Kotori scoffed, crossing her arms in front of her chest. “If Umi-chan wouldn’t freak out you wouldn’t hesitate to pin her to a wall and have your w-”   
  
“ _ KOTORI _ !” Umi whisper yelled. “We’re in public!”   
  
“They’re all sleeping.” Kotori said with a shrug of her shoulders. “Or they have headphones on. Besides, you can’t say you don’t feel the same way. Nozomi-chan is hot.”   
  
“W-Well I do but…”   
  
“You do?” Nozomi asked in surprise. “I mean so do I but...I mean I don’t want to rush into anything. Not that I would feel rushed or anything but...I mean you. I don’t want to rush you.”   
  
Kotori smirked in response. “Seems like someone has been holding herself back. Must be driving you crazy.”   
  
“Why don’t you sit next to Umi and talk about that?” Maki suggested hopefully. “I guess Kotori could sit next to me and you two can talk about whatever you need to talk about. Umi looks like she wants to say something, doesn’t she?”   
  
“Nice try.” Nozomi said with a roll of her eyes. “We’ll talk about this later, Umi-chan.”   
  
Umi smiled and nodded, settling back in her seat.    
  
Kotori huffed out a sigh and crossed her arms in front of her chest.    
  
“Kotori.” Maki called, successfully drawing Kotori’s attention back to her. “It’s Umi who has it bad. Nozomi can control herself. Umi can’t. I should have taken a picture of her pinning you to the wall that time I walked in on you two.”   
  
“I’m going to kill you in your sleep.” Nozomi muttered as Umi spluttered out her innocence.    
  
“T-That’s not true.” Umi spluttered.    
  
“Go Umi-chan!” Honoka hollered from where she was sitting with Eli.    
  
“Miss, for the last time, be QUIET!”   
  
Eli grabbed Honoka’s hand and tugged her back down into her seat. “Okay time for bed everyone. Especially you troublemakers.” She looked pointedly between Maki and Kotori.    
  
Thankfully the two quietened down. Eli closed her eyes and angled herself more toward Honoka, letting Honoka sink into her, huddling against her chest. Eli positioned Kotori’s pillow behind her, ignoring the girl’s protests that she needed it. It wasn’t long before Honoka dozed off but Eli couldn’t force herself to sleep.    
  
She glanced at Nozomi and Maki and found Maki lying down with her head in Nozomi’s lap, the third year gently stroking her hair.    
  
Eli shifted ever so slightly to check on Umi and Kotori too. Kotori’s head was resting on Umi’s shoulder while Umi had tilted her head to rest atop Kotori’s. They seemed to be sleeping soundly, much like Maki.    
  
A glance at Nico had her chuckling softly. Rin and Hanayo were sleeping huddled against her, each with an arm around her waist. As unhappy as Eli was sure Nico would be, she was sound asleep anyway, leaving only herself and Nozomi the only two awake. She quickly closed her eyes, pretending to be asleep.    
  
\-----   
  
Maki was surprised when she opened her apartment door and found not Hanayo but Chika and Kanan standing in front of her. “Oh…It’s you two.” She frowned. “What are you doing here?”   
  
“I want to get started!” Chika exclaimed brightly. “Can we come in?”   
  
“Don’t you have Love Live to focus on?” Maki asked dryly.    
  
“Thanks!” Chika ducked past Maki into the apartment. “We have the day off. Besides, Honoka-chan is more important than Love Live. More important than saving our school even.”   
  
Maki groaned as she allowed Kanan to walk into the apartment. “I’m going to fail my classes if this keeps happening.”   
  
“Do you have a photographic memory, Maki-chan?” Chika asked expectantly. She turned to smile warmly at Maki. “Besides, priorities. If we change the past this won’t be happening right now so that means you’ll be studying instead. Maybe you won’t even want to study what you are now. Maybe you’ll...”   
  
“Chika.” Kanan interrupted pointedly.    
  
“Right, sorry. Um...where’s everyone else?” Chika asked, glancing around. “Wow, this is a really nice apartment.”   
  
“Nozomi and Umi are on holiday.” Maki explained slowly. “Winter break. So they’ve gone out to make the most of it, I think.”   
  
“So they’re sightseeing?” Chika asked with a hint of skepticism. “We need to be here though.”   
  
“Umi-chan wanted to go and talk to Honoka.” Kotori’s sleepy voice sounded from across the room. “She went to visit her grave.”   
  
Chika glanced at Kotori, her eyes widening as the girl wandered into the room. Having just woken up she was only wearing panties and a shirt that was only closed with a couple of buttons in the middle, leaving her midriff on show and exposing a fair amount of cleavage. “Whoa…”   
  
Maki glared at Chika. “Watch it.”   
  
“Huh? Oh right. Sorry.” Chika quickly averted her eyes.    
  
“So you were studying, huh?” Kanan quipped, raising an eyebrow.    
  
Maki huffed and crossed her arms. “I was about to. Not that that’s any of your business. She just fell asleep after...ugh, why am I telling you this?!”   
  
“It’s a gift.” Kanan said with a smug smile.    
  
Maki’s gaze trailed to Kotori who was shuffling over to the coffee maker. She bit her lip as the shirt rode up, exposing Kotori’s ass. Quickly she remember that Kanan and Chika were there. Luckily for them when she glanced at them they were both averting their eyes. “Kotori, can you put some clothes on? Please?”   
  
“I need coffee.” Kotori pouted as Maki walked over to grip her shoulders and turn her around.    
  
Maki’s gaze shifted down. Being so close to Kotori she could easily see down her shirt.    
  
Kotori took advantage of Maki’s distraction and gripped her hips, pulling her in close. “Like what you see?” She asked in a husky whisper as she kissed the redhead’s neck. She smirked in satisfaction at Maki’s answering whimper.    
  
“Knock, knock, knock.”   
  
Maki and Kotori pulled away from each other at the sound of another voice. Looking over to the door they found Hanayo standing in the open doorway.    
  
“Hey.” Hanayo said with a small smile as she stepped into the room.    
  
Kotori quickly tugged Maki back in front of her. “You didn’t tell me she was coming! I’m practically  _ naked _ !”   
  
“What? So Hanayo you care about but these two you can walk around naked in front of…” Maki said with a roll of her eyes. “And they’re teenagers! And one of them was gawking at your boobs the whole time!”   
  
“Maki-chan, you jerk!” Kotori pouted, grasping Maki’s arms to keep her in front of her. “I don’t care about what they think, but it’s  _ Hanayo _ -chan!”   
  
Hanayo smiled at their antics. It seemed some things hadn’t changed. “I see I came at the wrong time. Good thing I brought…”   
  
“Hanayo, I think these chocolates melted all over the backseat. It’s dripping out of the box somehow. I guess we shouldn’t have put the heat on.”   
  
“You brought a BOY?!” Kotori exclaimed as a dark haired male appeared in the doorway.    
  
“What?” Hanayo glanced between Kotori and Raven who had already turned his back. “Oh please, he only sees me naked. This is Raven, my boyfriend.”   
  
“It’s nice to meet you both.” Raven said, lifting his hand in a wave without turning back to them.    
  
“I’m going to get changed.” Kotori said before she hurried off to the bedroom.    
  
“We can come back later if you’re busy.” Hanayo said, glancing at Kanan and Chika. “You seem to have company.”   
  
“Oh...no, they’re staying. Come in, it’s fine.” Maki said with a shake of her head.    
  
“Um, can I come in or…?” Raven trailed off as Hanayo grabbed his hand and tugged him into the apartment. He closed the door behind him. He turned to face forward, holding up the chocolates in his hand. “Uh...we brought a gift but we blasted the heat in the car on the way over so they kind of melted.”   
  
“Um...thanks.” Maki said, taking the box of chocolates. She placed them on the side, not wanting to rudely throw them in the trash right in front of the couple.    
  
“I told you she was straight.” Chika whispered, nudging Kanan who rolled her eyes.   
  
“Bisexual actually but close.” Hanayo answered, glancing at Chika.   
  
“She was dating a girl before me.” Raven chimed in, in agreement. “I won her heart though.”   
  
Hanayo fondly rolled her eyes at him but she was more focused on Chika. “You’re Chika, aren’t you?”   
  
“Uh…” Chika grimaced. “Yeah. Yeah, I am. This is my girlfriend, Kanan-chan.”   
  
Hanayo smiled fakely, her eyes closed and Maki shuddered. She knew that smile. Shivers ran down her spine as she remembered the last time Hanayo had smiled like that. After Honoka had died, Hanayo had started to fake her smiles and cheerful tones at school. It was part of the many reasons she and Maki had grown distant.    
  
Raven leaned toward Maki, lowering his voice to a whisper. “That’s her ‘I really don’t like you but my boyfriend is here so I’ll play along’ look. She’s actually seething.”   
  
“I know.” Maki whispered back as Chika and Kanan shifted uncomfortably. “She slapped someone in junior year when provoked. All with that smile.”   
  
“She’s scary when she’s mad.” Raven mumbled, glancing at Hanayo.    
  
“At least she’s stable.” Maki mused as she noticed Kotori wander out of the bedroom and move to greet Hanayo with a hug.    
  
“I’m guessing Kotori-san is a handful?” Raven asked curiously.    
  
“Sometimes. But she’s stable.” Maki answered with a shrug of her shoulders.    
  
“Hanayo’s told me about her. About...Chika.” Raven said with a nod toward Chika. “Not specifics, just...that she hates her. And that she was involved with...well, you know. I don’t want to bring it up but maybe putting those two together isn’t a good idea.”   
  
“It has to be done.” Maki sighed and stepped forward, taking Hanayo’s hand.    
  
Kotori glanced at Raven as Maki tugged Hanayo into her bedroom, closing the door behind her. “Not a good sign?”   
  
“Nope.”   
  
“What the hell is that fucking bitch doing here?! Do you know I’m shaking? I’m fucking SHAKING, Maki-chan! WHY IS SHE HERE?!”   
  
Kotori, Raven, Chika and Kanan cringed at the loud exclamation from the bedroom.    
  
“C-Calm down, don’t be crazy, Hanayo.” Maki said warily, her voice harder to hear than Hanayo’s.    
  
“She’s lucky Raven is here or I wouldn’t be so damn NICE!” Hanayo yelled angrily. “You haven’t answered me! Why is she even here?!”   
  
“Um...I’d rather we all explain together.” Maki said with a wince. “Nozomi and Umi should be back soon. They…”   
  
“Do THEY KNOW about this?! How can you even let her into your apartment?! She KILLED HONOKA-CHAN! You know what, I’m not doing this.” The door to Maki’s bedroom was wrenched open a moment later and Hanayo stormed across the room to Chika.    
  
Kanan moved to step forward but Chika held her arm out, stopping her. A second later, Hanayo lifted her hand and delivered a sharp slap to Chika’s face.    
  
“I deserved that.” Chika mumbled, her eyes watering.    
  
“Damn right, you did!” Hanayo yelled as Raven walked over to her, lightly tugging her away. “Do you have any idea what you did to us? To HONOKA-CHAN?!”   
  
“Of course she knows!” Kanan, who had turned Chika to face her so she could look at her cheek, retorted, shooting a brief glare at Hanayo. “Why do you think she’s here?”   
  
“Just hear her out.” Maki said quietly as she paused next to Kotori.    
  
Hanayo scoffed and looked directly at Chika. “I don’t know what you did to convince Maki-chan but me and Rin-chan are going to be harder to crack.”   
  
“You are going to pick her up in two days, right?” Maki checked thoughtfully.    
  
“Yeah, yeah.” Hanayo grumbled, crossing her arms in front of her chest. “Oh and she’s bringing her best friend from America too.”   
  
“Fine. Ugh, the apartment is going to be so cramped.” Maki muttered, glancing around. She wondered if Nico would end up staying there too when they finally managed to track her down.    
  
“You’re rich and it has space.” Hanayo pointed out skeptically.    
  
“This is KOTORI’S!” Maki exclaimed loudly. “I told you that on the phone. Listen, just...you can stay if you want. We have one bedroom left. Rin can sleep on the air mattress in my study or something. I guess if she’s best friends with this girl they can just sleep together.”   
  
Hanayo smirked and raised an eyebrow. “You know Rin-chan has a crush on her, right?”   
  
Maki groaned in exasperation. “Whatever. We’re sticking with the plan.”   
  
“Those two.” Hanayo jerked her thumb in the direction of Chika and Kanan. “Aren’t going to be here, right?”   
  
Chika sighed loudly but she was saved from replying when her phone chimed with an alert. She tugged it out of her pocket, her brow furrowing when she noticed it was a news alert. “Local has been spotted with international model, Nico-chan. Hey, that looks like…”   
  
“RIKO!” Kanan exclaimed, looking closer at the picture. “It is!”   
  
“Wait, INTERNATIONAL?!” Chika exclaimed in surprise. “Nico-chan is that popular?!”   
  
“Somebody doesn’t read the fashion magazines.” Hanayo said snarkily.    
  
Chika looked up, stunned to see the others didn’t seem all that surprised. “Wait, you all know?”   
  
The others nodded.    
  
“Nozomi reads in french so yeah.” Maki answered with a shrug.    
  
Kotori chimed in after. “I follow her on twitter. The clothing she models inspires me. Most people only know Nico-chan as a model. Not even many people in Japan know her as an idol. Besides school idols.”   
  
“Rin-chan and I were practically her cheerleaders when she first started at eighteen.” Hanayo explained quietly.    
  
Chika frowned at Maki. “You told me that the rest of Muse didn’t talk anymore. Didn’t you say that Rin-chan and Hanayo-chan only spoke when they had to?”   
  
“But they still seem like best friends.” Kanan said thoughtfully. “You are, right?”   
  
Hanayo nodded her head. “Yeah. The time difference usually works out so we talk every couple of weeks.”   
  
“Muse  _ was  _ separated.” Maki pointed out, frowning at Chika’s implication. “I didn’t know what happened to Nico. Rin and Hanayo started ignoring me.”   
  
“US?!” Hanayo cried out in disbelief. “You threw yourself into fucking cram school and med books! You abandoned US! At least Nico-chan tried, even though she was a mess too! You were the one who kept acting as if everything was okay when in fact you were a wreck. You became obsessed with finding a cure for an incurable disease!”   
  
“FOR HONOKA!”   
  
“Honoka-chan was already DEAD, damn it! There was nothing you could do to save her when she was alive, what makes you think you can when she’s DEAD?!” Hanayo’s accusation had Maki reeling back but she didn’t pause to give the redhead time to reply. “Rin-chan ran into track the moment we disbanded but she was trying to take her mind  _ off _ what had happened, like Honoka-chan wanted us to! You were OBSESSED with it! You’re lucky Kotori-chan was so patient with you. With the way you were acting, anyone else would have broken up with you! And what would you have done then?”   
  
Raven leaned toward Kotori. “Shouldn’t we…?”   
  
“Let them get it out.” Kotori said with a shake of her head. “It’s the first step to recovering. We should probably leave them alone...you have a car, right?”   
  
“I-I KNOW THAT!” Maki finally yelled after hesitating a moment. “I know if she wasn’t here I would be getting drunk off my ass right now!”   
  
Kotori cringed. She was relieved when Raven nodded yes to her question. “We should go and pick up some food for when they’re done if you don’t mind driving.”   
  
“Sure.” Raven shrugged his shoulders.    
  
“Uh…” Kanan stepped forward slightly. “Can we…?”   
  
“Yes, you can come along.” Kotori said with a nod of her head. “Let’s just go.”   
  
Maki and Hanayo didn’t notice the other four leave the apartment.    
  
“I didn’t  _ abandon _ you.” Maki said, her voice low and angry. “The two of you just expected me to be fine after Honoka died. You two were allowed to be as broken as you wanted but you expected me to be steady. I wasn’t a damn robot, Hanayo. I loved Honoka too, just as much as the rest of you. Maybe even more than some of you. I even dated her for a bit, you know?”   
  
Hanayo’s eyes went wide with surprise. “What?!”   
  
“The whole Chika thi-”   
  
“Shut up! Just...shut up. I don’t want to hear it.” Hanayo turned on her heel and stormed into her temporary bedroom, slamming the door behind her.    
  
“Damn it.” Maki stumbled back, barely managing to find her way to the couch before she collapsed down onto it, in tears. “DAMN IT!”   
  
TBC   



	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here’s the next chapter of ANITW. Thanks for all of the comments! Hope you guys enjoy. 
> 
> Trigger warnings: Sexual scenes (maybe), violence, medical triggers, angst.

Riko stepped into her bedroom behind Nico and watched as the older girl glanced around. “Um...it’s probably a lot smaller than what you’re used to.” She said nervously as she slid the door shut behind her. She walked past Nico, sitting down at her piano.    
  
Nico smirked in response as she followed close behind Riko. “What? Are you inviting me to stay over or something?”   
  
“What? N-No!” Riko exclaimed, her voice a pitch higher than usual. “I-I just mean…”   
  
“I know, I’m just messing with you.” Nico said with a roll of her eyes. She carefully sat down on the piano bench next to Riko and looked down at the keys of the piano. “So are you going to play or what?”   
  
“I-I am!” Riko straightened her back and placed her hands over the keys. Hearing Nico chuckle, she glanced over at her. “What?”   
  
“Nothing, it’s fine. Just play something.” Nico forced herself to be serious and nodded for Riko to go ahead and play. The redhead seemed to brace herself once more before her fingers began to glide effortlessly over the keys.    
  
Nico’s smile faltered slightly at the sound of the first notes. She knew the song Riko was playing. It was a song Muse themselves had sung on occasion. Aishiteru Banzai. She closed her eyes and ducked her head, letting the music wash over her. She remembered Honoka singing this with the other second and first years at their graduation. She remembered Honoka leading the song and Maki playing the piano.    
  
She remembered Eli and Nozomi crying at either side of her, her own eyes smarting with tears just as they were now. She bit the inside of her cheek hard, recalling when they had decided to disband Muse. That had been hard but not as hard as losing Honoka had been. As tears tracked their way down her cheeks, her throat began to feel uncomfortably tight as sobs threatened to escape her.    
  
Then she heard Riko’s voice singing along, soft and angelic. Still, she couldn’t help but think of Honoka. Of Maki, Eli, Nozomi and the others. A whimper passed her lips and suddenly the music stopped.    
  
“H-Hey, are you okay?” Riko asked, sounding slightly panicked.    
  
Nico reached up, using the sleeve of her fitting jacket to wipe at the tears on her cheeks. “I’m fine.”   
  
Riko frowned, turning more toward Nico. “No, you’re not. What’s wrong?”   
  
Nico sniffled softly and shook her head. “Nothing. Just...why do you have to be so good?”   
  
Riko stared at Nico, trying to work out what she was talking about. “I-I don’t understand.”   
  
“You’re an amazing pianist, Riko.” Nico leaned in and hugged Riko tightly for a brief moment before she pulled away and got to her feet. “I have to go.”   
  
“Wait.” Riko reached out, grabbing Nico’s hand. She stood up, refusing to let go. “Don’t go. I want to talk to you more, I want to know what’s wrong. I wan-” She was cut off by Nico tugging her close and kissing her lips. It barely lasted a couple of seconds before Nico pulled back but it had the desired effect.    
  
“F-French thing?”   
  
“Nah.” Nico shook her head. “Relationship thing. But listen, I really have to leave. You said it yourself, I’m  _ not _ fine.”   
  
Riko opened her mouth to answer but she was cut off by the sound of Chika yelling from her balcony.    
  
“RIKO-CHAN! I SAW YOU ON THE NEWS!”   
  
“I’m sorry.” Riko squeezed Nico’s hand. “I have to deal with this. Please don’t go anywhere.”   
  
With that said, she let go of Nico and walked out onto her balcony, making sure to keep Nico hidden from sight. “What’s going on?”   
  
“I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU WERE WITH AN INTERNATIONAL MODEL!” Chika was still yelling, apparently still overexcited.    
  
Riko cringed at the volume of Chika’s voice. “T-That’s not true. And please keep your voice down.”   
  
“Don’t lie, I saw you.” Chika frowned, leaning against her balcony railing.    
  
Riko huffed out a sigh. “W-Well you lied to me about you and Kanan-chan in your room that night. You said there was nothing going on with you and her then you still made out with her.”   
  
Chika’s eyes widened in surprise. “Y-You saw us that night?!”   
  
“YES!” Riko took a deep breath to calm herself. “I-I have to go. My mom is calling for me. I’ll talk to you later.”   
  
Before Chika had time to formulate an argument, Riko ducked into her room again. She found Nico standing at the door, her hand on the handle. She stopped, watching her for a moment but Nico just stood there, motionless.    
  
“You’re not okay either, huh?” Nico asked softly. She slowly turned to face Riko. “So I’m guessing you have feelings for the loud girl outside?”   
  
Riko didn’t answer that. “Just don’t leave. Please.” She stepped forward and took Nico’s hand, drawing her further into the room. She walked to her bed and sat down, tugging Nico with her. “I want to talk to you.”   
  
“I-I have to wake up for work…” Nico’s protests were futile as she found herself sitting on Riko’s bed. “You’re pretty stubborn, huh?”   
  
“When I want to be.” Riko answered with a small smile. It faded quickly. “About before…”   
  
“It was nothing. I was...thinking about my friend.” Nico bit her lip for a second, hesitating. “She um...she died.”   
  
“Kousaka Honoka.” Riko said softly.    
  
“You know a lot about us, huh?” Nico murmured, looking down at her lap.    
  
“Well I went to the same school before moving here.” Riko answered with a slight shrug. “Besides, everyone in the school idol world knows Kousaka Honoka. And Muse.”   
  
“Muse…” Nico mumbled. The word felt almost foreign on her tongue. It had been so long since she’d uttered it. “I guess you’re right.”   
  
Riko waited patiently, figuring Nico would talk when she wanted to. Finally it seemed to pay off.    
  
“I used to listen to Maki play that song for Honoka. It used to soothe her.” Nico whispered. Closing her eyes, she could almost see it. Maki playing the piano, singing along to the song with Kotori while Honoka leaned into her best friend.    
  
Riko leaned in and gently drew Nico into her arms, hugging her close. She felt the older girl take a shuddering breath before finally relaxing into her.    
  
“I miss her.” Nico whispered, blinking against more tears.    
  
Riko gave a simple sympathetic sound of acknowledgement in response. She knew there was nothing she could do to help with that.    
  
Nico held onto Riko, desperate for comfort. After Honoka had died Rin and Hanayo had been there for her for a while, as she had for them, but she’d had to leave for France soon enough. After that there had been nobody else and she’d wound up feeling desperately lonely. “You’re so warm.” She murmured, basking in Riko’s body heat. She wondered when she had last hugged someone. It had been a while.    
  
She thought it might have been Maki, before she had left the country to pursue modelling. Kotori and Maki had made a point of taking her to the airport, wanting to show their support despite having reservations about her leaving. She remember a quick embrace from Kotori and then Maki hugging her frantically after, pleading with her to be careful.   
  
Nico let herself linger in Riko’s arms for a moment before she drew away. “So we’re friends now, I guess?”   
  
“I-I think so.” Riko said nervously. “I mean...you did kiss me though. Or were you just teasing me?”   
  
Nico shook her head. “You don’t want to get with an older girl, trust me.”   
  
Riko frowned. “You’re only fo...three years older than me though.”   
  
Nico thought about that for a moment. “When’s your birthday?”   
  
“Uh...why?” Riko asked, ice running down her spine. Maybe she’d been caught in her lie already.    
  
“Because when you turn eighteen you’ll only be two years younger than me.” Nico slid her fingers between the buttons of Riko’s shirt and tugged her close, their lips almost touching. “And I could have you.”   
  
Riko gasped softly, thinking of Chika and Kanan. “Y-You’re experienced with this, I-I don’t really know what I’m doing…”   
  
“Nah.” Nico smirked, shaking her head. “Would you believe I’m a twenty year old virgin? Even Hanayo got laid before me. And it took her like three months since starting college.”   
  
Riko swallowed thickly. As Nico leaned in and kissed her neck, she inhaled shakily.    
  
“So tell me.” Nico said softly. She could feel her phone vibrating in her pocket and knew that Kei was calling her but she didn’t care about that. She felt Riko’s hand come up. It was shaking even as the girl slid her beanie from her head, her other hand then boldly slipping around her under her jacket, pressing lightly against her lower back.    
  
“S-September 19th.”   
  
“So you just turned seventeen this month, huh?” Nico slowly drew her lips away from Riko’s neck and forced a small smile to her lips. “We probably shouldn’t then.”   
  
Riko’s face fell. “What?”   
  
Nico reached up, gently toying with Riko’s hair. “I could make an exception but I know you need to focus on your future. You know that too. It’s not a good idea right now.”   
  
Riko slowly felt herself start to think rationally. “Y-You’re right.”   
  
“That doesn’t mean we won’t get to see each other though.” Nico said softly. “We can be friends. If you want. I...I kind of need a friend.”   
  
“Okay.” Riko agreed though she couldn’t hide how disappointed she was. “Friends.”   
  
Nico smiled softly and kissed Riko once more, just a brief peck on the lips. “I’ll call you later, Riko.”   
  
“O-Okay.” Riko watched as Nico got up and straightened her clothes before she made her way to the door, letting herself out. Looking down she noticed that Nico had forgotten her beanie. She picked it up, pressing it to her chest with a slightly giddy smile. She couldn’t help but feel guilty at the same time. She was lying and she didn’t know how to tell Nico that.    
  
\------   
  
“I’m going to….visit Maki or something.” Nico said as she set her bags down on the hotel room floor. She watched as Eli helped Honoka over to the bed. “If you need anything I won’t be far.”   
  
“Yeah, thanks Nico.” Eli said gratefully, looking up.    
  
“I was talking to Honoka.” Nico said with a roll of her eyes. “This place better not be a mess when I get back. And you both better have clothes on too.”   
  
Eli frowned. “What do you mea-”   
  
“Ayase, I’m not coming in to find you screwing your girlfriend with her ass in my line of sight, okay?!”   
  
“But she has such a nice ass.” Eli smirked, drawing a giggle from Honoka.    
  
“IT’S NOT THE POINT!”   
  
Eli raised an eyebrow. “So you admit you think Honoka has a nice ass?”   
  
“I’m leaving!” Nico turned, her face red with frustration and embarrassment. She stormed out of the room, shutting the door behind her.    
  
“That was mean.” Honoka said in amusement as she fell back onto the bed. She felt Eli lie down next to her.    
  
Eli smiled softly. “I wasn’t lying. You do have a cute butt…”   
  
“It’s not as good as yours.” Honoka’s hand crept over Eli’s waist to her behind.    
  
“Honoka, we shouldn’t.” Eli warned softly, conscious that Nico could come back at any time.   
  
Honoka leaned in, pressing her lips insistently to Eli’s. “When has that ever stopped me?” She pushed Eli onto her back and crawled over her, straddling her hips. “I want to touch you, Eli-senpai.”   
  
Eli inhaled slowly as Honoka’s fingers slid under her shirt and moved upwards to her chest, a soft hand squeezing at her breast a moment later. She hissed softly. “O-Only if…” She trailed off, noticing Honoka swaying slightly. “Honoka?”   
  
Honoka drew her hand back and pressed both to her head, tilting back. “Dizzy…”   
  
“Alright.” Eli quickly wrapped her arms around Honoka’s waist and used her remaining energy to flip them, laying Honoka down. “It’s okay. Get some sleep.”   
  
“I’m sorry.” Honoka whispered sadly. “I can’t do anything for you.”   
  
“Don’t say that.” Eli’s voice was sharp but the words that followed were gently. “Don’t, Honoka. You do everything for me. Just get some rest.”   
  
“Okay…”   
  
Eli gently kissed Honoka’s forehead and lay down next to her, drawing her into her arms.    
  
\----   
  
You studied her menu long and hard, her brow furrowed as she took in the food available. She’d found a cafe near the beach that neither of them had been to yet. It had been Ruby who had suggested they go out on a real date but You had naturally taken control and declared that she would find somewhere for them to go.    
  
“Do you need help to decide?”   
  
You looked up in surprise to find Ruby watching her from the other side of the table. “Huh? Oh...no, I’m fine. Just um...browsing.”   
  
Ruby bit her lip, tilting her head slightly as she observed You. She wasn’t sure what was wrong but something seemed off about her. “Are you worried about Onee-ch-”   
  
“Ah, I thought I recognized you two!” Ruby and You looked up at the sound of a new voice only to find Kazuno Sarah from Saint Snow walking toward their table. Her sister trailed behind her. “We must be near your neighborhood. You’re part of Aqours, yes?”   
  
“Yes.” You answered for both of them, sitting up a bit straighter in her seat. “And you two are from Saint Snow, right?”   
  
She knew that already, of course, but it just felt right to ask in response to Sarah’s question.    
  
Sarah nodded. “I’m Kazuno Sarah. And this is my younger sister, Kazuno Leah.”   
  
Leah nodded stiffly at the two of them. Her gaze focused on Ruby for a split second before she looked away quickly.    
  
“Mind if we join you two?” Sarah asked hopefully. “It’s nice to see each other at competitions but it’s even nicer to just hang out, don’t you think?”   
  
“I guess.” You looked at Ruby regretfully. She wanted to protest against Sarah’s idea but she couldn’t exactly tell her she was on a date with Ruby and any other excuse would just sound rude. She shifted over as Sarah squeezed into the seat next to her.    
  
Leah sighed and reluctantly slid into the booth next to Ruby. If she was honest she would rather be anywhere but where she was. Dark pink eyes met the other girl’s bright green and she blushed, huffing under her breath. “Uh...so are you as annoyed about this as I am?”   
  
“N-No!” Ruby exclaimed quickly, hoping her annoyance didn’t show on her face. “W-Well a little. We don’t really know each other and we are meant to be rivals. But...I think it would be nice to get to know each o-other.” Hearing a laugh she looked up to find You and Sarah talking, Sarah having laughed at something You had said “Your sister is...very outgoing.”   
  
Leah nodded proudly. “She’s the best older sister.”   
  
“I feel the same way about Dia.” Ruby said softly, looking at Leah. She felt a bit guilty, realizing she hadn’t really been honest with her sister about how she was feeling lately. She had been trying to stand on her own feet and she was sure that looked like rebelling, something she was worried might be hurting Dia in a way.    
  
Leah huffed at her sister. “She always does this. She has a lot of friends compared to me.”   
  
“M-Maybe it’s because you’re a little rude sometimes.” Ruby suggested hesitantly.    
  
“Hey! I-I don’t mean to.”   
  
Ruby’s eyes widened in surprise before she smiled softly. “Oh so you do have a cute side.”   
  
Leah blushed. “S-Shut up.”   
  
“Oh good, she’s finally talking.” Sarah remarked, a slight smile tugging at her lips. “She’s actually pretty shy.”   
  
You looked at Leah and Ruby, noticing the shorter girl looked a little awkward, even next to the usually shy Ruby.    
  
“She just pretends to be confident.” Sarah continued, noticing You looking over at her younger sister. “It’s an act, mostly.”   
  
You hummed in response, an unfamiliar jealousy coiling in her stomach. She wished she had just come out and said that she was on a date with Ruby but she hadn’t. She had been worried about what the two would think. And now she was stuck in a situation she didn’t especially want to be in. She sighed and leaned back in her seat, watching Ruby and Leah continue to talk.    
  
Her chest tightened slightly as she watched Ruby laugh softly, a blush coloring her cheeks. She noticed the hint of a smile on Leah’s lips and frowned to herself. It was almost like the two of them were on a date and  _ she _ was the outsider. She needed to do something to get Ruby’s attention back.    
  
“So I notice you’re pretty popular.” Sarah spoke up, effectively distracting You. “Your posters get sold out here at the stores.”   
  
“Ah, I-I don’t know about that.” You said modestly, her face turning red.    
  
“Aye aye, captain!” Sarah lifted her hand in a salute.    
  
You slid down in her seat slightly, her face getting hotter.    
  
“It’s because You-chan is so cool.” Ruby spoke up, drawing You’s attention back to her. “T-That’s why everyone likes her. She would be my favourite too.”   
  
“R-Ruby-chan…” You grumbled though she couldn’t deny that it felt good to hear that.    
  
“I can certainly see that.” Sarah said with a soft chuckle. “You’re even more popular than Kanan-san.”   
  
Leah sighed loudly. “Onee-chan, stop flirting.”   
  
Ruby frowned at that and You raised an eyebrow. They locked eyes for a brief moment before You looked away.    
  
“You must get that a lot.” Sarah said quietly. “My apologies.”   
  
“Ah, yeah. I-I’m kind of used to it.” You shrugged.   
  
Sarah glanced at Ruby. “Ruby-chan is cute too though.”   
  
“ONEE-CHAN!” Leah exclaimed loudly.    
  
“You’re cute too, Leah.”   
  
“I-I’m not cute, I’m cool!”   
  
Ruby cleared her throat. “No, you’re cute.”   
  
“RUBY!”   
  
\------   
  
Kotori slipped out of her hotel room at precisely eleven at night. On her way down the hallway she passed Nozomi who nodded at her, a slight smirk tugging at her lips. The two had swapped keys earlier that afternoon and had arranged a time when they could switch without being noticed. She let herself into Maki’s room and found her girlfriend reading in bed.    
  
Kotori closed the door behind her just as Maki looked up. “Now where were we?”   
  
Maki stared, her mouth agape as Kotori started toward her, swaying her hips. “U-Uh...where’s Nozomi?”   
  
“Going to Umi-chan.” Kotori got onto the bed and crawled over Maki, taking the book from her hands and casting it aside.    
  
Maki closed her eyes, shuddering as Kotori leaned in to kiss her neck. “K-Kotori, we have practice tomorrow.”   
  
“And I’m gonna keep you up all night before it.” Kotori vowed softly. She nipped gently at Maki’s neck but made sure not to leave a mark. “Unless you want me to leave?”   
  
“N-No.” Maki took another shaky breath. “B-But um...we do need to get some sleep. I don’t want to mess up tomorrow.”   
  
“Sleep?” Kotori echoed. She grasped Maki’s hand and lifted it, pressing it to her chest. “Are you sure you want to sleep?”   
  
Maki whimpered at the softness under her hand. “No. But we need to.”   
  
Kotori hummed thoughtfully. “Can I at least make you feel good before we sleep?”   
  
Maki hesitated for a moment. “I-If you wa-” She gasped loudly as Kotori moved back and grasped her thighs, tugging her downward so that she was lying down instead of sitting up. “Kotori…”   
  
Kotori tugged Maki’s purple shorts off along with her underwear, tossing them aside.    
  
“Are you sure?” Maki asked nervously as she felt Kotori’s cool hands on her.   
  
Kotori hummed and leaned down, pressing her lips to the inside of Maki’s right thigh.    
  
Maki quickly pulled the blankets over Kotori and closed her eyes, deciding to relax and enjoy the attention from her girlfriend instead of complaining about it. If Kotori didn’t want to do it, she wouldn’t be. She knew that. Se felt hands push her thighs apart and then Kotori closed the distance, the first brush of her tongue hitting Maki’s senses hard.    
  
She moaned, her hips jerking slightly in response. She felt hands gently push her hips back down to the bed before Kotori went back to what she was doing, licking and sucking insistently.    
  
For the most part, Maki couldn’t do anything to hold back her moans. She grasped at the sheets with one hand, using her other hand to cover her mouth to keep herself quiet but even that didn’t work.    
  
“Fuck, Kotori…” She finally drew her hand from her mouth and slid it under the covers, sliding her fingers into Kotori’s hair. Kotori’s ribbon was already out, she noticed. Kotori had obviously taken it out for bed.    
  
Suddenly she heard someone pounding against the wall.    
  
“Are you fucking kidding me?!” Nico called loudly from the other side. “Shut the hell up and stop masturbating already, Maki!”   
  
Maki was about to answer but she was too close to care about what Nico was saying. She tugged Kotori closer just as her climax ripped through her, drawing a yell of Kotori’s name from her mouth and leaving her shuddering in the aftermath.    
  
“How the hell can Nozomi sleep through this?!” Nico exclaimed in disbelief.    
  
Kotori poked her head out from beneath the blankets. “Sorry, Nico-chan!”   
  
“...ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!”   
  
“NICO, GO TO SLEEP, DAMN IT!”  Even from a room away, Eli could be heard yelling.    
  
“How can  _ you  _ sleep with them screwing in the next room? How the hell is Honoka still sleeping?!” Nico growled in annoyance and Kotori pressed her face into Maki’s shoulder to muffle a giggle. “Ugh, whatever. Just don’t screw in the morning!”   
  
“We will.” Maki whispered, lifting her arms. She wrapped them tightly around Kotori. “You know, I always wake up before you…”   
  
Kotori felt a thrill of excitement course through her. “Oh?”   
  
Maki turned her head, kissing Kotori softly. “Go to sleep.”   
  
Kotori sighed but closed her eyes, deciding to do as she was told. It didn’t take long for her to drift off.    
  
\----   
  
Kotori didn’t have to ask to know that Maki’s talk with Hanayo hadn’t gone well at all. Maki was unusually silent the previous night though she’d made no effort to go off by herself. Kotori could tell there was something bothering Maki but she knew better than to push her to tell her.    
  
Kotori watched as Maki picked at her breakfast. Nozomi and Umi had left the house early to do something but Hanayo and Raven had yet to wake up.    
  
“Hey.” Kotori lightly touched Maki’s hand, catching her attention for a moment. “You know no matter what happens I’ll still be here.”   
  
Maki managed a small smile at that. It was the one thing she was really sure of. That Kotori wouldn’t be going anywhere. The sound of a knock at the door caught her attention and she sighed, getting up. “I’ll get it.”   
  
She walked over to the door but she could feel Kotori walking with her. She was grateful for the silent support.    
  
She opened the door and as she suspected, found Rin standing there, her hands stuffed in her pocket. She was wearing a university hoodie and dark jeans, her hair in a high messy bun. There was a girl next to her, tall with short blonde hair and blue eyes wearing jeans and a long sleeve striped polo.    
  
Maki looked back to Rin, vaguely noticing the stud in her nose. “Hey. Um...”   
  
“Yeah, hey…” Rin said in a cool tone of voice.    
  
“Rin-chan!” Kotori didn’t hold back, and stepped forward, hugging Rin tightly. It had been years since she had seen her.    
  
Maki noticed Rin looked surprised but she also noticed a flicker of a smile on her face.    
  
“What does chan mean again?” The girl next to Rin asked in English as Kotori silently stepped back.    
  
Maki noticed Kotori looked a little offended by Rin not giving a response and gently rubbed her arm. She knew that Kotori had been looking forward to seeing the first years again, given it had been so long. But Rin was different now.    
  
She wasn’t sure if Kotori’s reunion with Hanayo had gone any better. It seemed to have at least but she wasn’t sure. Kotori had gone to Hanayo’s room last night and had returned seemingly quite happy. She’d obviously been trying to hide it for Maki’s sake though.    
  
Rin looked between Kotori and Emily, a little flustered. “Ahh, sorry. This is Emily, she’s a friend from college. Sorry, she can be...too curious sometimes. It’s great to see you, Kotori-chan.” She turned her attention to Emily next, switching to English. “Um...chan is an honorific used in Japan. It’s used between close friends. And it’s much cuter to use than the other version of it san.”   
  
Kotori raised an eyebrow in surprise. Rin used to hate English but the girl seemed almost fluent now. “Oh! You should come in.”   
  
She stepped out of the way, allowing the two  pass her and closed the door behind her. Rin tugged off her shoes before doing so though Emily instinctively stepped over the threshold. She paused, noticing Kotori and Maki staring at her. “Uh…” She glanced back at Rin, noticing her holding her shoes in her hands. Quickly, she stepped back, into the hallway.    
  
“S-Sorry!” She exclaimed in Japanese, bowing slightly. She quickly took off her shoes and waited to see what Rin would do. When Rin nodded at her and stepped over the threshold, she silently followed.    
  
Rin touched Emily’s arm, noticing how tense the girl seemed to be. “Emi, this is Kotori-chan. And Maki-chan.” She said with a soft smile.    
  
Kotori remembered Hanayo’s words about how sweet Emily could be. Stepped forward she held out her hand. “It’s nice to meet you.”   
  
“Steinberg. Emily Steinberg.” Emily clasped Kotori’s outstretched hand, giving it a slight shake. “I play soccer at UCLA.”   
  
Rin noticed Kotori looked confused and quickly spoke up. “It’s the university we go to.”   
  
“Oh.” Kotori noticed the initials UCLA on Rin’s red sweatshirt. “I see. Um...well thank you for coming, Rin-chan. You too, Emily-san.”   
  
“Rin-chan!”   
  
Rin looked past Kotori and Maki in time to see Hanayo step out from her bedroom with a dark haired male behind her. “Kayo-chin!”   
  
Emily frowned in confusion at the name and the honorific as Rin bound over to Hanayo, hugging her tightly.    
  
“It’s cuter than chan.” Kotori advised softly, noticing Emily’s furrowed brow. “Don’t worry, you’ll get used to it.”   
  
“Right…”   
  
Maki raised an eyebrow as Rin hugged Raven too. “You two know each other?”   
  
“Of course.” Rin answered, pulling away and turning back to Maki. “We all know each other. Raven and Emily are always there when I talk to Hanayo through Skype. Besides, Hanayo and Raven came to stay with us for a week a few months ago.” She glanced over at Emily, confused by the girl just standing there. “You don’t need to worry. Maki and Kotori  won’t bite.”   
  
“I-I know that.” Emily glanced nervously between the two of them nonetheless before she walked into the room.   
  
Hanayo yelped in surprise as Emily hugged her, lifting her a couple of inches off the ground. When Emily put her down, she bumped her fist against Raven’s.    
  
“So now we have all of the first years at least.” Kotori said, clasping her hands together. She was relieved they were getting somewhere at least.    
  
Rin rolled her eyes. “I’m not a first year anymore, Kotori.”   
  
“Sorry.” Kotori said with a smirk though she didn’t look especially apologetic. “But as I was saying, we just need Nico-chan and Eli-chan now.”   
  
Rin winced. That was a lot easier said than done if she was honest. She remember quite well how much of a mess Eli had been after Honoka had died. Nico had been too, she recalled. “I still don’t understand what we’re doing here.”   
  
Kotori and Maki shared a look before Maki herself spoke. “We’ll explain everyth-”   
  
“I’ll tell you.” Hanayo interrupted them. “It’s crazy but whatever. Chika is here.” She watched as Rin’s eyes widened in shock before her features darkened in anger. She didn’t need to ask whether Rin remembered her. “She thinks there’s a way we can...change things. And get Honoka-chan back.”   
  
Rin swallowed hard and shook her head. “Honoka-chan is...she’s gone.”   
  
Hanayo sighed. “That’s what I’ve been saying. But Maki-chan believes her and so does Kotori-chan. They think it’s something we need to try, for Honoka-chan.”   
  
Rin frowned. “I’m going to a hotel.”   
  
“Wait, you can’t leave me here with them.” Hanayo said hurriedly, gripping Rin’s arm. “Please, Rin-chan. I need you here.”   
  
“I can’t stay here with her.” Rin jerked her head toward Maki. She cursed under her breath and shoved her hands into her pockets. “Why the hell is she doing this?! She knows we can’t get Honoka-chan back!”   
  
Emily placed a hand on Rin’s back, trying to calm her as she noticed tears gathering in her friend’s eyes.    
  
“Come to my room.” Hanayo said quietly. “Just for a few minutes. We can talk in private there, okay?” She took Rin’s hand and seeing her nod, tugged her off toward her bedroom. Emily and Raven stayed where they were. 

 

Emily turned to Kotori. “S-Sorry she’s in a bad...mood.” She said, her brow furrowing slightly. “When people bring up…”   
  
Kotori noticed the girl struggling and smiled softly. “You can speak English. We all know it here.”   
  
“Oh thank god.” Emily sighed in relief, reverting back to speaking English. While she was fine with the others speaking Japanese, she was still learning to speak it herself. “I’m sorry, I was trying really hard to get this right. When Rin first came to America she wasn’t as good as she is now. So I switched the French class I was going to take to Japanese. It’s quite a complicated language. I think I’m getting a B so far. Rin helps me with my homework and I help her with her English so it works out.”   
  
“It’s fine.” Kotori said, shrugging off Emily’s apology. She turned to Maki and reached out, gently taking her hand. She noticed it trembling slightly in her own. “Hey. Are you okay?”   
  
Maki gave a hesitant nod but the fact that she didn’t say anything and didn’t look at Kotori was worrying in itself. She turned back to Emily, squeezing Maki’s hand. “Sorry, we’ll just be a few minutes. Feel free to make yourself at home.”   
  
Emily nodded and watched as the two of them left, leaving her alone with Raven. She sighed and turned toward him to find him looking around the room in mild interest. “So um...what do you think about the two of them?”   
  
Raven shrugged. “They’re fine. Kotori’s really nice. Maki is a bit...awkward, I guess. But she seems nice enough too. You haven’t met the other two yet but they’ll be back later.” He laughed at the wary look on Emily’s face. “Don’t worry. They’re calm in comparison to Rin.”   
  
“Great.” Emily said dryly, rolling her eyes.    
  
"Please tell me I did not just step into a minefield…”   
  
"You stepped into a minefield.”   
  
Emily groaned. “Crap, I should’ve known this was going to happen...Honoka is a touchy subject.”   
  
“I know.”    
  
“What should we do? I just screwed up comforting my bestfriend.”   
  
Raven raised an eyebrow in response. “Don't you mean crush?”   
  
Emily huffed in annoyance. “Shut up. I’m serious, what should I do?!”   
  
Raven shrugged. “No idea. I guess you should just leave it to Hanayo.”    
  
“Did I hear crush?” The front door opened and Nozomi stepped into the room, a couple of bags in her arms. “Who has a crush.”   
  
“Nozomi. Um...nobody. I mean I do. On Hanayo obviously.” Raven gave a nervous laugh. “But nobody else. Anyway, Emily this is Nozomi. Nozomi, this is Emily. Rin’s...best friend from college.”   
  
“It’s nice to meet you.” Nozomi offered in response, looking Emily up and down. “So American girls really are like models. And tall...how tall are you?”   
  
“I um...Five foot ten?” Emily offered nervously, glancing between Nozomi and Raven. She remembered Rin mentioning on the plane that Nozomi was fairly laid back. That she could relax around her.    
  
Nozomi raised an eyebrow at that, continuing to stare at Emily. “Rin didn’t mention you were hot.”   
  
“Nozomi.” Raven frowned disapprovingly. “Don’t you have a girlfriend?”   
  
“Right, right.” Nozomi said with a soft laugh. “Relax, I’m just kidding. Speaking of my girlfriend she should be up here by now. Would you mind going to check on her?”   
  
Emily reached out, gripping the back of Raven’s shirt, out of Nozomi’s line of sight. “Don’t you dare leave me with her.” She mumbled through gritted teeth.    
  
“Ah, um...I would but I promised Emily I would show her around.” Raven lied, faking a smile. “Oh actually, why don’t you just come down with me? I’ll introduce you to Umi and then we can leave.”   
  
“S-Sure.”   
  
“You don’t need to look for me, I’m right here.” Umi said as she entered the room. She frowned at Nozomi. “Stop teasing her. She probably isn’t used to this.” She put the bag she was holding down and stepped forward, holding her hand out to Emily. “I’m Umi. You must be...Emily?”   
  
“Y-You know my name?” Emily tentatively shook Umi’s hand.    
  
“Sure. Hanayo told us you were coming.” Umi answered with a small smile. “Are you staying here? I don’t think Kotori has any more beds but I think she has an air mattress somewhere.”   
  
“Um...I think Rin wants to go to a hotel.” Emily said hesitantly. “But maybe Hanayo will convince her not to. A-Anyway, we were just heading out for a while. It was nice meeting you, Umi.”   
  
“Wha…?” Raven trailed off as Emily pulled him out of the apartment, closing the door behind them. “Don’t tell me you’re afraid of Umi too.”   
  
Emily glared at him. “She’s just...cool, okay?” She huffed as he laughed at her. “Let’s just go.”   
\----   
  
“Are you ready for our performance tomorrow?” Eli asked, sitting down on the bed next to Honoka. They had spend the majority of the day sightseeing before they had made their way back to the hotel. “I think we’re ready, don’t you?”   
  
Honoka gave a small smile. She was still standing but she wasn’t sure how after so much practicing and sightseeing. “Eli-senpai?”   
  
“Hmm?”   
  
“I’ve been lying to you.” Honoka’s knees trembled beneath her, her nerves getting the better of her. “I-I have to tell you something.”   
  
“W-What?” Eli sat up straight, suddenly anxious. “What is it?”   
  
“I um…” Honoka took a deep breath and then another, trying to calm herself. “I can’t see you...from here. You’ve been asking me if I’m okay all of the time and I’ve been saying yes but I’m not. My vision has been blurry for a week. Usually I can just blink and it’ll go back to normal but lately it’s been taking longer a-and now...I can’t make it go away, Eli-senpai.”   
  
Eli stood and crossed quickly to Honoka, stopping right in front of her. “Am I clear now?”   
  
Honoka nodded silently and Eli continued. “Maybe you just need glasses or contacts.”   
  
Honoka grimly shook her head. “I don’t think that’s it. I’m getting dizzy more, my headaches are lasting longer. I-I need to talk to Maki-chan and the others. Will you go with me? Please?”   
  
“Y-Yeah.” Eli stuttered nervously, her stomach twisted with nerves. “Let’s go now, okay? I’ll carry you.”    
  
Honoka nodded and as Eli turned her back, she wrapped her arms around the blonde’s neck, letting her lift her. Eli left the room and went to right first, knocking on the door next to hers. Rin opened the door.    
  
“Maki’s room, right now.” Eli said seriously, glancing past Rin at Nico and Hanayo. “All of you. Get Nozomi and Umi too.”   
  
Before any of them had a chance to react she turned and walked to Maki’s room, knocking at the door. She heard giggling and moaning behind it. “KNOCK IT OFF YOU TWO!”   
  
A moment passed before the door opened. Eli pushed past a disheveled looking Maki, setting Honoka down on the bed. She vaguely noticed Kotori hurriedly wrapping herself in a bed sheet. “Leave the door open. The others are coming.”   
  
Kotori frowned, moving to Honoka’s side. “Are you okay, Honoka-chan?”   
  
Honoka shook her head and leaned into Kotori, her head falling to her friend’s bare shoulder. “No. I feel like shit, Kotori-chan. I don’t know why.”   
  
Kotori wrapped her arms around Honoka, stroking her hair in an attempt to soothe her as the others entered the room. Nozomi entered last, closing the door behind her.    
  
“Honoka says she can’t see. That everything is blurry at a distance.” Eli said, crossing her arms in front of her chest. She was trying to stay composed but struggling. She could see from where she was standing that Honoka was scared. She turned away, looking at Maki instead. “Can’t you fix this?”   
  
“Honoka.” Maki called softly, drawing Honoka’s attention to her. “Can you see me clearly?”   
  
Honoka shook her head.   
  
“Tell me when you can.” Maki moved closer, one step at a time.    
  
“N-Now, I can.” Honoka stopped Maki three steps away from her and the redhead cursed loudly under her breath.    
  
“What does it mean, Maki-chan?” Rin asked anxiously as she looked between Maki and Honoka. “Is Honoka going to be…” She trailed off, biting her lip. She knew Honoka wasn’t going to be okay. She felt a hand grasp each of her own and looked up, finding Hanayo at one side and Nico at the other. Hanayo’s jaw was clenched while Nico’s lower lip was trembling.    
  
“Honoka.” Umi whispered, noticing tears cloud Honoka’s eyes.    
  
“My head hurts.” Honoka buried her face into Kotori’s neck, crying softly. “It feels l-like it’s splitting. It hurts so much.”   
  
“Maki-chan, what do I do?!” Kotori looked up desperately. “Nozomi-chan?”   
  
Nozomi moved forward and gently picked Honoka up only to place her back down in Kotori’s lap. “She needs painkillers. And heat. I’ll find something, just stay like this, okay, Kotori-chan?”   
  
Kotori’s arms went around Honoka as the girl curled up into her in her lap. Her own eyes watered as Honoka’s tears touched her skin. She didn’t know what she could do to help.    
  
“Trust me.” Nozomi gently touched Kotori’s shoulder. “She needs you right now, okay? I’ll be right back.”   
  
Nozomi left the room quickly, turning the light off as she went. The others stood there, watching Kotori and Honoka.    
  
“What does this mean, Maki?” Eli whispered, noticing Maki looked pale. “What’s happening?”   
  
Maki swallowed against the lump in her throat. “The tumor is...pressing against her optic nerve. She’ll lose her sight completely soon, i-if the tumor doesn’t ki…” She turned away, lifting her hand to cover her eyes as she teared. “Damn it.”   
  
“How long?” Nico spoke up, her voice trembling. “How long do you think?”   
  
“I-I don’t know. A month.” Maki mumbled, her voice thick with emotion. “Weeks maybe.”   
  
Eli turned on her heel and ran from the room.    
  
Nico growled under her breath. “Damn her. She should be the only one of us who’s here.” She went to sit next to Honoka, gently rubbing her back to soothe her.    
  
Umi joined her, kneeling on the bed next to Kotori. She gently wrapped her arms around the two of them, feeling Kotori trembling with soft sobs too.    
  
Maki took a shaky breath and walked over to her desk, staring down at her medical textbooks.    
  
Nozomi returned a few minutes later, her heart wrenching when she found Umi holding onto Kotori and Honoka, tears streaking down her own cheeks. She knew how much Umi loved the two of them. Losing either one of them would destroy her. “Where’s Elichi?”   
  
“She left.” Nico said bitterly.    
  
“I’ll find her.” Nozomi stepped forward and handed Nico a pack of pills and a heat pack. “Look after her, Nicocchi.”   
  
Nico nodded solemnly and handed over the key to her room before Nozomi could leave without it.    
  
Nozomi left the room and headed for the room Eli was sharing with Honoka and Nico. Hearing a sharp sob from behind the door she let herself in and closed the door behind her. She found Eli sitting on the floor, her back against her bed. She had pulled her knees to her chest and she was crying into them, her shoulders shaking uncontrollably. “Elich-”   
  
“DON’T COME NEAR ME!”   
  
Eli’s breathless yell brought Nozomi to a sudden stop on her way over to Eli. “Alright.” She said, her voice soft and calm. As Eli’s tear filled eyes looked up at her she slowly lowered herself into a crouching position. “I won’t do anything. I’m just going to sit with you, okay?”   
  
“It’s not fair.” Eli said, her voice rough with tears. “I love her so fucking much, Nozomi. None of this is fair. Damn her, damn Chika. I want to kill her. I just want to give her what she deserves.”   
  
“I know.”   
  
“How are you so calm?!” Eli exclaimed in disbelief as she reached up to roughly wipe at her tears. “Maki just said Honoka’s going t-to die in WEEKS! This is...this is  _ your _ fault, damn it! Yours and Chika’s and Umi’s! How the fuck can you sit there and just say I know when I tell you Honoka is DYING?!”   
  
“Because what the hell can I do about it?!” Nozomi growled angrily. “I can’t take it back so WHAT THE HELL CAN I DO ABOUT IT?! DON’T YOU THINK THAT IF I COULD DO SOMETHING I WOULD HAVE ALREADY?!” She looked down, seeming to catch herself and took a breath to calm down. “I love Honoka-chan just as much as everyone else does. She came to me for help and I failed her but I have to live with that, okay Elichi?”   
  
“I won’t forgive you.” Elichi warned, fresh tears welling in her eyes.    
  
“Neither will I.” Nozomi said softly. She tentatively moved closer to Eli, noticing the blonde flinch in response. “I’m sorry, Eli. I’m  _ so _ sorry. I wish…” She choked on her lump on her throat and silently shook her head. “I-I don’t know what to do either. We just have to keep going for her, okay? She’s the only thing that matters right now.”   
  
Eli buried her face in her knees once more. She didn’t yell at Nozomi again but she didn’t seem open to her getting closer either.    
  
Nozomi looked up as the door opened once more. She realized with a start that she’d forgotten to lock it.    
  
“Are you two fighting again?” Maki said with a roll of her eyes as she entered the room.    
  
Nozomi frowned at her, puzzled by the casual disdain in her voice.. “Now isn’t really the time, Maki-chan.”   
  
“Don’t you think I know that?!” Maki snapped at her. “I can’t be in that room.”   
  
“Honoka needs you.” Nozomi said softly, slowly rising to her feet. “What if something happens?”   
  
“Nico-chan is more capable than I am right now.” Maki answered with a shrug of her shoulders. “Honoka has her to mother her and she still hasn’t moved off Kotori’s lap so...why would I need to be there?”   
  
Nozomi gritted her teeth. It seemed that Eli wasn’t the only person she would be fighting with. “You don’t think Honoka-chan would want you with her? Or is she an inconvenience to your love life now?”   
  
Maki’s eyes went wide with shock. “Th-That’s not what I’m saying! I can’t be in there with her without feeling like I’m going to lose it and that would be bad for her. She’s already scared enough. I’m supposed to be the calm one. You, me and Nico-chan are but it seems like Nico is doing it for  _ all _ of us. Hell, Umi and Kotori are doing a better job and they’re Honoka’s BEST FRIENDS! I want to be there for Honoka but I’m  _ not  _ calm. I’m freaking out. I can’t do anything. ANYTHING!”   
  
Nozomi stared at Maki for a long moment, slowly relaxing. She realized it must be hitting Maki harder because the redhead could see the signs that Honoka was getting worse but she couldn’t do anything about it. “I’m sorry.”   
  
“I just want to be useful.” Maki said, blinking against the stinging in her eyes. “I want to do something so I’m here. I’m going to help Eli because I  _ can _ . She’s not dying of some incurable illness I can’t do anything about.”   
  
“I don’t want help.” Eli said gruffly. “I want you both to get the hell out.”   
  
“Well we don’t always get what we want.” Maki said sharply. She walked over to Eli and took her arm, dragging her up off the floor. “You need to get it together. You have  _ weeks _ left with her, Eli, and you’re just wasting it!”   
  
Eli shoved Maki back with a growl of anger. “Shut up!”   
  
“NO! You have to keep it together for Honoka! She needs you to be strong!” Maki retorted angrily. “You’re not the only one hurting, Eli! Imagine how Kotori and Umi feel! Imagine how her sister and parents feel! We’re  _ all  _ losing Honoka, not just you!”   
  
Eli seemed to lose her fight, her features crumbling once more. “I don’t know what to do, Maki. I can’t lose her, I-I can’t do this.”   
  
“I know.” Maki hesitated for a moment before she moved forward, hugging Eli tightly.    
  
Nozomi watched the two dissolve into tears and sighed softly. She couldn’t do anything for them either. She headed toward the doorway only to be stopped by the sound of Eli’s voice.    
  
“Nozomi.”   
  
Nozomi turned to see Eli was still holding onto Maki but was looking directly at her. “Yeah?”   
  
“Don’t go. Please. I’m sorry, I-I just…”   
  
Nozomi didn’t need her to say anything else. She crossed the room to the two and hugged them both as tightly as she could.    
  
\----   
  
“I think your bed might be smaller than mine.” Honoka mused softly, staring up at the ceiling. She could feel Kotori and Umi pressed against her from both sides. As much as she didn’t want to leave Eli she’d elected to spend the night with Kotori and Umi. She wasn’t sure why but she felt like she needed them close.    
  
“I have a lot of space left on my side.” Kotori replied in a whisper. “I just don’t want it.”   
  
“Me too.” Umi agreed.    
  
Honoka smiled slightly, feeling an arm go around her waist as Umi pressed closer. At the same time she felt Kotori sigh softly and and drape her arm over her too. “This is like one of our old sleepovers, huh?”   
  
Kotori smiled. “The ones where you’d try to tell ghost stories and Umi-chan would always freak out and hide under the blankets?”   
  
Umi pouted. “I was  _ ten _ , Kotori.”   
  
“Oh? I bet if I told a ghost story now you’d still react the same way.”   
  
“Don’t!”   
  
Honoka laughed softly at their antics. She reached down, surprising them by grasping their hands. She squeezed tightly as her laughter faded away and tears prickled at her eyes. She couldn’t imagine not being with them but it seemed it would happen sooner than she’d thought.   
  
“Honoka-chan…” Kotori whispered, turning onto her side. Almost immediately, Honoka pressed herself close to her, burying her face in her chest. Umi moved too, maki sure not to lose contact with Honoka.    
  
“I’m so scared.” Honoka admitted in a choked voice through her tears. “I don’t know what to do and I-I don’t want to die, Kotori-chan. But I can’t see properly anymore a-and Eli-senpai hasn’t said anything since I told her and…”   
  
“Shhh.” Umi soother gently, rubbing Honoka’s arm. “Eli isn’t mad at you, Honoka. Don’t think that for a second. She’s just...hurting right now. We all are.”   
  
“I’m sorry.”   
  
Kotori hurriedly blinked back her own tears. “It’s not your fault. But we love you. We all love you and we can’t stand to see you suffering. Eli-chan’s trying to be strong but she can only do it for so long. She’s just taking a minute to compose herself.”    
  
Honoka nodded. She knew that already. She knew Eli was trying to hold back how she felt in favor of staying strong for Honoka herself. “Someone needs to be there for her when I...when I can’t be. Someone needs to make sure she’s okay and help Nozomi-chan fix their friendship.”   
  
“We will.” Kotori vowed softly. “And so will Maki-chan.”   
  
“And Yukiho too.”    
  
“I’ll take care of her. Don’t worry, Honoka-chan.” Kotori said softly, gently running her fingers through Honoka’s hair. “You don’t need to worry about anything.”   
  
Honoka sniffled softly and drew back to look at Kotori. “I love you.” She said softly. She glanced over her shoulder at Umi. “I love both of you so much.”   
  
She felt their arms go around her once more as they both returned the sentiment. She relaxed back into them and closed her eyes, feeling Kotori’s lips press against the top of her head.    
  
\----   
  
“Are you sure it’s okay for me to be here?” Riko asked warily as she glanced around Nico’s dressing room. The way Nico had hurriedly ushered her inside made her think it wasn’t okay. The dressing room itself was small but that was to be expected.    
  
“Yeah, it’s fine.” Nico answered, sitting down at the small dresser she’d been provided with. “You’re allowed in here if I give you permission.”   
  
“Then I suppose I should thank you for giving me permission.” Riko said with a small smile as she stepped forward. “You look really nice by the way.”   
  
“Of course I do, I’m getting ready for a shoot, aren’t I?” Nico reached out when Riko was close enough and grasped the girl’s hand, pulling her close. Riko grasped Nico’s shoulder with her free hand to balance herself. She couldn’t resist the urge to lean down and kiss the model’s glossed lips. She felt Nico’s hand go to her waist and she let herself be guided into the older girl’s lap.    
  
She cupped Nico’s face in her hands and kissed her harder. She was surprised that Nico was letting her take the lead but she supposed Nico might be just as inexperienced as she was. She nipped at Nico’s lower lip, drawing a soft moan from her. She felt Nico’s face heat up under her hands and smirked to herself. She had to admit that it was satisfying to be in control of the situation.    
  
Feeling Nico leaning up into her, she experimentally deepened the kiss, pressing her tongue past Nico’s lips. She felt Nico’s hands grasp at her side in response so she assumed she was doing something right.    
  
Riko slowly allowed her hands to fall from Nico’s face, down her back to undo the strings of her red dress.    
  
Nico hurriedly pulled away. “Hey, hey, hey! W-We can kiss but y-you’re still seventeen, remember?!”   
  
Riko pouted. “It’s so cute when you get flustered.” She reached up, brushing the few strands of hair that had escaped from Nico’s messy bun behind her ear. She watched Nico blush. “You oozing confidence is totally an act, huh?”   
  
“Shut up.” Nico huffed in annoyance. “I told you I don’t have experience. Besides I have to be the mature one out of the two of us. Obviously.”   
  
Riko raised an eyebrow. “You just don’t know where to put your hands, do you?”   
  
“Is that a challenge?”   
  
“Maaaybe.” Riko drawled, distractedly running her fingers over Nico’s back, above her dress.    
  
“You know I’ll do my research right? You should prepare yourself when I’m done.” Nico said confidently, even as she shivered at Riko’s light touch.    
  
“I hope so.” Riko mumbled as she leaned in to kiss Nico once more. Just as their lips brushed, someone knocked loudly on the door.    
  
“Nico-chan, we’re ready for you!”   
  
Nico cursed under her breath and gently pushed Riko off of her lap. “Coming!” She turned her back to Riko. “Quickly, fix my dress.”   
  
Riko did as she was asked, vaguely noticing that Nico was shorter than her with flats on. “There. Should I…?”   
  
“Wait here for me.” Nico kissed Riko once more before she moved past her and let herself out, making sure nobody noticed Riko in the room.    
  
Riko sat down and got her phone out, calling You. She waited for a moment before You picked up.    
  
“Hello?”   
  
“You-chan.” Riko sighed in relief. “What do you do to restrain yourself from Ruby-chan?”   
  
“Um…” You hesitated for a moment, seemingly caught off guard by the question. “Usually I just pinch myself really hard. Why?”   
  
“J-Just wondering! Bye!” Riko hung up quickly and stared down at her phone. She wasn’t sure whether pinching herself would work when the person she was trying to resist looked like Nico. “Damn it.” She turned her head, catching sight of an open magazine with a picture of Nico on the front. “DAMN IT.”   
  
TBC.    



	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait but here’s the next chapter of ANITW, I hope you guys enjoy!

“NICO-CHAN! HEY, NICO-CHAN!”   
  
Nico winced as her name was yelled. For a moment she thought it was a fan trying to get her attention but then she realized she recognized the voice.    
  
“Nico-chan, there’s a girl running toward you.” Riko warned quietly as she looked over her shoulder. As the girl got closer her brow furrowed. “Wait, isn’t that Minami Kotori?”   
  
“What?!” Nico turned on her heel just as Kotori reached her, a dark haired male at her side. “Um...what are you doing here? And who’s this?”   
  
“I came to take you back to Tokyo! You weren’t answering my calls.” Kotori answered brightly. “This is my driver.”   
  
“Hey!” Raven exclaimed though he didn’t seem offended.    
  
“I’m kidding, this is Raven. He’s Hanayo-chan’s boyfriend. He did drive me here though.” Kotori’s gaze drifted over to Riko. “And this is…?”   
  
“Sakurauchi Riko.” Riko answered hesitantly. “I-I’m a...friend of Nico-chan’s.”

“That name sounds familiar…” Kotori said thoughtfully. She looked Riko over thoughtfully. “You’re not dating her, right Nico-chan? She looks like she’s still in high school.”   
  
“Um...I am in high school.” Riko answered nervously. “Nico-chan is just my friend. Right, Nico-chan?”   
  
“Right.” Nico nodded confidently. She turned her attention to Kotori, crossing her arms in front of her chest. “Why would I want to go back to Tokyo?”   
  
“Everyone else from Muse is there!” Kotori answered quickly. She didn’t fail to miss the way Nico flinched at the mention of their old school idol group. “Well besides Eli-chan.”   
  
“What the hell is going on?”   
  
“We’re going to save Honoka-chan.”   
  
Riko’s eyes widened. “Wait a second, what?!”   
  
Nico stared at Kotori for a long moment before her features clouded over in anger. “You’re crazy. I’m not going anywhere.”   
  
Kotori clasped her hands in front of her and fixed Nico with a pleading look. “Nico-chaaaaan,  _ please?! _ ”   
  
Nico looked away for a moment but inevitably her gaze was drawn back to Kotori’s pleading expression. “F-Fine! But Riko’s coming with me!”   
  
“I-I am…?” Riko asked hesitantly. She received a firm nod in response. “Okay…”   
  
“Thank you, Nico-chan.” Kotori said in relief. She began to lead the way back to the car, glancing over her shoulder to make sure Nico was following them. She was, thankfully. “Nico-chan looks angry.”   
  
Raven glanced over at Nico. “Yeah, she looks pissed. Don’t tell me she’s another of your friends who hates your girlfriend?”   
  
“I don’t know.” Kotori said uncertainly. “Nico-chan left on good terms but she hasn’t called in two years. Hey, will you do me a favor?”   
  
“Um...sure?”   
  
“I don’t want Maki-chan to get hurt again after...what Hanayo did.” Kotori said, softening her voice so Nico wouldn’t hear her. “Can you talk to Hanayo for me?”   
  
“Okay.”   
  
“And one more thing…” Kotori glanced back at Nico just briefly before she turned back to Raven. “If Nico tries to hit Maki-chan, I can’t fight her. She’s stronger than she looks.”   
  
“Well neither can I.” Raven said in amusement. “But if you’re asking me to defend your girlfriend, I guess I can. Mine’s gonna be pissed though.”   
  
“Thank you.” Kotori breathed a sigh of relief. Maki was feeling downtrodden enough. The last thing she needed was to get physically hurt again. “Let’s hurry up and get back. Nozomi-chan and the others should already be there by now.”   
  
\-----   
  
Kotori found that she was right in her assumption that everyone would be at her apartment when they got there though not long after entering she wished she hadn’t been right at all. The group, including the former Muse members they had gathered as well as Chika and Kanan were sitting around the living room. Some sitting on the couch, some on the floor.    
  
Chika looked up as the door opened, her eyes going wide at the sight of the person who had entered. “R-Riko-chan?!”   
  
“CHIKA-CHAN?!” Riko stopped short just inside the doorway at the sight of Chika. “W-What are you doing here?”   
  
“I’m...helping them with something.” Chika answered vaguely. She got to her feet, Kanan rising next to her and glanced at Nico who was watching Riko in confusion. She narrowed her eyes, noticing how close they were standing. “Wait...are you dating Nico-chan? Isn’t she a little...old for you? No offence!”   
  
“A little old?” Nico scoffed, crossing her arms in front of her chest. “I’m only three years older than her, it’s not that big of a deal.”   
  
“Three?” Kanan interrupted. She took a minute to work that out. “You’d be...twenty now, right? So that makes Riko four years younger than you. Have you never seen her wearing her uniform? The colors would be wrong for a senior.”   
  
“Wait…” Nico turned to Riko, wide eyed. “Are you KIDDING ME? You told me you were seventeen. Ugh, I can’t believe I made out with a sixteen year old.”   
  
Riko blushed as Nico pointedly took a step away from her. “W-Well you were the one who assumed I was seventeen. I just didn’t correct you.”   
  
“You TOLD me you…” Nico trailed off, taking a deep breath. “Whatever. How do you know...her anyway?” She gestured vaguely in Chika’s direction. “Don’t tell me you’re her friend.”   
  
“Um…” Riko hesitated for a moment. “Yeah, I’m her friend. And she’s the leader of my school idol group.”   
  
“Fuck.” Nico cursed in exasperation. “This couldn’t get any worse. Seriously, who’s goddamn idea was this anyway?!”   
  
Maki cleared her throat. “Um, Kotori. Can I speak to you in the…”   
  
Nico growled in annoyance. “I knew this was something you would be cooking up. Seriously, what the hell is your problem? Honoka is DEAD, just let it go already, okay?! She’s not coming back. It doesn’t matter how much any of us want her back, she’s DEAD! You’re just bringing back bad memories, damn it!”   
  
“Raven.” Kotori said softly, glancing toward the male who had wandered over to Hanayo.    
  
Raven closed the few steps between himself and Maki, putting himself partially in front of her.    
  
“Nico-chan, this isn’t Maki’s fault.” Kotori said, taking a step toward Nico. She knew the girl wouldn’t do anything to her. “It wasn’t even her idea but we want to do everything we can for Honoka-chan. I…”   
  
“Like HELL it wasn’t her idea!” Nico exclaimed furiously. “She’s obsessed with finding a cure. Of course she would stoop to this ridiculous spiritual shit. She’s throwing her whole life away on this!”   
  
“At least I care.” Maki countered, fixing Nico with a dark glare. “At least I didn’t pack up and leave at the first chance. At least I didn’t  _ forget _ about her as soon as she fucking DIED!”   
  
Nico’s expression changed to shock followed by disbelief and then downright fury before she paced quickly toward Maki. “You little…”   
  
“Whoa!” Raven stepped further in front of Maki, carefully stopping Nico with a hand on her shoulder. He held his other arm out at his side in case Maki tried to move past him but he doubted she would. “Let’s just calm down, okay?”   
  
“CALM DOWN?!” Nico exclaimed in disbelief. “Who the hell are you anyway? You don’t know shit about this! Why would you even defend her?!”   
  
“I’m wondering that myself.” Hanayo frowned though she looked a lot calmer than Nico. “Maybe Nico-chan’s right. Maybe you are obsessing over this, Maki-chan.”   
  
“Of course you would take her side!” Maki retorted, her voice slightly higher than usual. “It’s ALWAYS about Nico with you and Rin, isn’t it?!”   
  
Rin frowned, getting to her feet. “What does that mean?!”   
  
“You didn’t get it! None of you ever understood how useless I felt back then! I’m supposed to be smart enough to figure this out, I-I should have known what to do and all I could do was tell everyone when Honoka was going to die. Or when she was getting worse!” Maki’s voice turned rough with tears as moisture filled her eyes. “I had to tell HONOKA that there was no damn hope and the rest of you just got to resent me for it!”   
  
Nozomi listened solemnly, her eyes downcast. Only Eli and herself knew about the secret guilt Maki had. That she hadn’t been able to do anything for Honoka. She hadn’t even been able to comfort her with good news.    
  
“You keep saying that I abandoned you, Hanayo, but YOU abandoned me. I needed you. I needed Rin and Nico-chan and I wanted...I just wanted to be a part of what the three of you had, I NEEDED THAT AND YOU JUST LEFT ME!” Maki felt tears trail down her cheeks but she ignored them. “We need to try this, for Honoka. If it doesn’t work you can all go back to your lives and you’ll never have to see me again. But I have to try. Honoka deserves that much from us.”   
  
Kotori stepped forward and wrapped her arms around Maki, shooting Rin, Hanayo and Nico disapproving looks before she led her tearful girlfriend to their bedroom.    
  
Nozomi looked up at the rest of the group. “If there’s anyone you should be taking your anger out on, it’s me.”   
  
“And me.” Chika finally spoke up quietly.    
  
“Chika.” Kanan warned softly, tensing in case anyone tried something. She knew the majority of people in the room had a grudge against Chika.    
  
“This was my idea.” Nozomi continued quietly. “Maki just wants Honoka-chan back. We thought you would  _ all _ want Honoka-chan back.”   
  
“Of course we do.” Hanayo said quietly, her brow furrowed. “But it’s not possible.”   
  
Nozomi sighed and glanced at Umi. “Show them the video, Umi-chan.”   
  
\-----   
  
Honoka sighed softly, resting her head against the window of the plane. Their performance had gone well, with Eli taking the lead when Maki had demanded that she do so. Honoka was happy that it had been a success but the fact that she was so useless was rather discouraging. Eli had been amazing as the lead though, Honoka had thought. She wasn’t sure she could have done as good a job even if she’d been at full health.    
  
“You okay?” Nozomi, who had ended up sitting next to Honoka, lightly touched her arm. “You seem a bit out of it.”   
  
“Just thinking about the performance.” Honoka turned her head, offering a slight smile. “I’m fine. I’m just trying to take everything in.”   
  
“Is that all?” Nozomi asked knowingly.    
  
“Um...I’m thinking about Eli-senpai too.” Honoka answered reluctantly. “Kotori-chan says Eli-senpai isn’t mad at me but we haven’t really...talked since the night before the performance. And I feel like I let you all down.”   
  
Nozomi frowned, shaking her head. “Of course you didn’t let us down. You did the best you could. If anything, we let you down by not noticing.”   
  
“I should have said something.” Honoka mumbled, looking down at her lap.    
  
Nozomi reached out, grasping Honoka’s hand. “You shouldn’t have felt like you had to keep it to yourself. We put too much pressure on you.”   
  
Honoka made a soft sound of disagreement and shook her head.    
  
Nozomi squeezed Honoka’s hand, noticing the girl glance over her shoulder at Eli who was sitting a couple of rows away. “You really want Elichi, huh?”   
  
Honoka’s lips turned down into a frown. “I-I’m sorry. It’s not that I don’t want to spend time with you, I just...I just need her. I’m sorry. I don’t want her to be upset with me.”   
  
“It’s okay. Stay here for a minute, okay?” Nozomi got up from her seat and walked over to Eli, tapping her on the shoulder.    
  
Eli looked up, frowning at the sight of Nozomi. “What do you want?”   
  
“I want you to stop being an ass, get the hell up and go and sit next to your girlfriend.” Nozomi said quietly through a tight lipped smile. She kept her voice low so that only Eli and Maki who was sitting next to the blonde heard her. “Go. Now.”   
  
Eli was too surprised by the anger in Nozomi’s voice to argue. She fumbled with her seatbelt which she’d yet to take off despite the passengers being given the go ahead to do so and quickly stood, moving over to Honoka. She sat down next to her, noticing Nozomi sink down in her seat next to Maki.    
  
“Is Nozomi-chan okay?” Honoka asked worriedly.    
  
“I don’t want to talk about her.” Eli said softly, casting a glance toward Honoka.    
  
“Right…” Honoka slid down in her seat slightly, nervously biting her bottom lip. She felt like she’d done something wrong but she wasn’t sure what it was. “Are you upset with me, Eli-senpai? I feel like you’ve been...avoiding me.”   
  
“What?” Eli looked at Honoka in surprise, sitting up slightly straighter in her seat. “No, of course not. I-I haven’t been avoiding you, I just...you’ve spent the past couple of nights with Kotori and Umi so I thought you wanted to spend more time with them. That’s why I didn’t ask to sit next to you today either, I thought you might end up with Kotori or Umi. I-I just figured you would need them right now.”   
  
“I need Eli-senpai too.” Honoka mumbled without looking up. She flinched in surprise when she felt arms go around her but quickly relaxed as Eli drew her close. “I’m sorry, I know I’m being...selfish but I just…”   
  
“No, you’re not.” Eli disagreed softly when Honoka trailed off. “I should be the one who’s sorry. I should have noticed you needed me. I’m sorry.” She pressed her lips to the top of Honoka’s head and closed her eyes tightly, holding her girlfriend as close as possible. “I’ll make it up to you. What if I ask my parents if I can spend the night at your house? I’m sure my dad will say yes.”   
  
Honoka nodded. “Please.”    
  
\-----   
  
Ruby was walking along the beach, her hands in the pockets of her jacket when she spotted Leah standing at the edge of the water. Out of curiosity, she turned in that direction and began walking over there.    
  
Coming to a stop next to Leah, she hesitated for a moment before she cleared her throat. As the girl turned to her she smiled at her, somewhat shakily. “Hi.”   
  
Leah looked at Ruby with a hint of suspicion. “Um...hi.” She responded awkwardly. “I didn’t...I didn’t know you would be here.”   
  
“I didn’t think so.” Ruby assured her with a shrug of her shoulders. “Where is Sarah-san?”   
  
“She’s back at the hotel, talking to our parents on the phone.” Leah frowned after saying that. She wasn’t sure why she’d even told Ruby that. She shrugged it off, deciding it didn’t matter.    
  
“It’s okay if you want me to leave.” Ruby said quietly, noticing Leah’s eyes dart left and right. “I’m not good with people either…”   
  
“No, it’s fine.” Leah answered hesitantly. She narrowed her eyes. “Who says I’m not good with people? Did my sister say that?”   
  
Ruby bit her cheek to keep from laughing. “N-No, I just figured…”   
  
“Fine, I’m not good with people.” Leah said with a heavy sigh. She crossed her arms in front of her chest. “I usually read in the library during recess. Even in middle school…”   
  
“Really?” A small smile tugged at Ruby’s lips. “So do I.”   
  
Leah looked surprised but tried to hide it. “So what are you doing out here?”   
  
“Um…” Ruby suddenly looked unsure of herself. “I was just taking a walk. I needed to think…”   
  
“Why?”   
  
Ruby was silent for a moment before she finally spoke. “Everyone in Aqours, even You-chan...are always...on eggshells around me. Though I guess I should thank Onee-chan for You-chan being like that…”   
  
Leah hesitated before speaking. “That’s just because she cares about you. Sarah is like that with me sometimes, especially when I make other kids cry.”   
  
Ruby regarded Leah skeptically. “Don’t you mean when other kids make you cry?”   
  
Leah blushed. “I’m not a crybaby. Unlike you.”   
  
“That was mean…”   
  
“S-Sorry.” Leah winced at the comment. “I’m just really not good at this…”   
  
Ruby stared at Leah for a few seconds before giving a soft laugh.    
  
Leah’s eyes widened in surprise. “W-Why are you laughing?!”   
  
Ruby did her utmost to stop, her laughter dying down to the occasional soft giggle. “Leah-chan really is adorable.”   
  
“San.” Leah corrected with a frown.   
  
“L-Leah-san. Sorry. It slipped.” Ruby apologized, a worried look appearing on her face.    
  
“I d-don’t mind it...though.” Leah said hesitantly. She flinched in surprise when Ruby touched her arm.    
  
“A-Are you okay?” Ruby looked down at her hand and quickly removed it. “Sorry.”   
  
“No, I-I’m fine. It’s fine.” Leah answered awkwardly. She resisted the urge to press her hand to her chest, already able to feel her heart racing.    
  
“Want to get Takoyaki?”   
  
“Huh?” Leah was taken aback by the abrupt question but then Ruby was grasping her hand, tugging her along. She couldn’t help but run along with her. Ruby seemed so much different than when they had first met in Tokyo. Leah couldn’t say that she minded the change.    
  
\----   
  
Riko wasn’t sure whether she should follow Nico to the hotel but she’d done so anyway, sticking close to Nico so that she wouldn’t leave her behind. Now she found herself sitting on the edge of Nico’s bed while the girl in question brushed her hair.    
  
Riko didn’t dare speak but after what seemed like hours, Nico set her hairbrush down on the dresser in front of her.    
  
“Why did you lie to me?”   
  
Riko swallowed thickly. “You assumed I was seventeen and I didn’t argue because I-I wanted you to...I don’t know, respect me. I wanted you to see me as a woman. As someone you could talk to. And I guess I wanted to do something...unlike myself for a change too. Usually I’d never lie…”   
  
“You’re sixteen.” Nico stood up and turned to face Riko. “I made out with a  _ sixteen _ year old.”   
  
“See?” Riko frowned, glancing up at Nico. “I knew this would happen.”   
  
Nico sighed in exasperation. “I should have known better. It’s not like everyone who looks seventeen is going to be that old, I mean look at Maki.” She took a deep breath and locked eyes with Riko. “We’re both to blame. I should have realized. And I shouldn’t have assumed.”   
  
“Wait, what?” Riko stood up quickly from the bed and bowed her head. “N-No! This is my fault. I shouldn’t have lied to you. I’m sorry.” She waited a moment but when she looked up, Nico wasn’t looking at her. “S-So you think I’m a minor now? We can’t keep...doing what we were doing?”   
  
“Of course we  can’t.” Nico said softly after a second of hesitation. “You’re too young. Besides that you’re friends with...with  _ her _ . Anything between us would never work.”   
  
Riko frowned. “I-I don’t know what Chika-chan did to make you all blame her for what happened to Kousaka-san but I’m not  _ just _ her friend. You know me now, don’t you? And...And you like me. Right?”   
  
Nico flushed at that. “I’ve known you for a week.”   
  
“So?” Riko stepped forward, deciding to be bold for a change. She hadn’t been when it had come to Chika and she’d lost any chance of being with her. She moved closer to Nico until she was less than a step in front of her. Nico, who had moved back, was almost sitting on her dresser. “That’s long enough for me to know I like you.”   
  
“R-RIko, stop.” Nico said softly though her voice lacked any real conviction. Her heart hammered against her chest as Riko leaned in, her hands pressed to the dresser at either side of Nico. Nico wanted to look away but she couldn’t draw her gaze away from Riko’s golden eyes. “We can’t, okay?”   
  
“Why not?” Riko lifted her hand, gently brushing her fingers against Nico’s cheek. “I think you need this. You need someone who wants to be there for you. I do, I want to help you with...whatever’s going on. I just want  _ you _ .”   
  
“I can’t let you get involved with this, you’re just a…” Nico hesitated, biting her lip. She noticed a flash of hurt cross Riko’s face. “I’m sorry. I can’t just unload all of this onto you. It’s serious.”   
  
“I know.” Riko hesitantly cupped Nico’s face in her hands and leaned in, kissing her softly. “Just let me be here for you. Please. We’re friends, aren’t we?”   
  
“Yeah.” Nico said quietly. She let Riko pull her into close and despite her reservations, she melted into the embrace. Riko was right. She did need someone. She had for some time now.   
  
\----   
  
Worried that Chika hadn’t been answering her phone, You was on the way to Chika’s house when she spotted Ruby sitting on an outdoor bench with another girl. A girl she recognized as being Kazuno Leah from Saint Snow as she walked closer. Her brow furrowed as Ruby laughed in disbelief at something Leah was saying.    
  
“Onee-chan is still better. It doesn’t matter that she can’t do what you’re saying.” Ruby stated pointedly. She leaned back, crossing her arms in front of her chest. “Sarah-san might be a good sister but nobody is better than mine.”   
  
“Ruby-chan?” You spoke up as she paused next to Ruby.    
  
“You-chan!” Ruby turned to face You, vaguely feeling Leah press close to her back. “Um…” She glanced back at Leah in surprise for a second before she looked back to You. She was startled to feel Leah’s hand shaking. It seemed the girl really was as shy as Sarah had said.    
  
“Hi Leah-san.” You said quietly. Leah responded with an unconvincing glare and she awkwardly cleared her throat. “So um...what are you doing, Ruby-chan?”   
  
“We were just eating takoyaki.” Ruby answered with an innocent smile. “Are you going somewhere?”   
  
“I was going to check on Chika-chan.” You replied honestly. “She hasn’t been answering my calls and with the way she’s been acting lately I’m worried about her…” She trailed off as Ruby’s lips twitched up into a smile. “What?”   
  
“N-Nothing, you’re just a really good friend, that’s all.” Ruby said bashfully. “Um...do you want to join us?”   
  
“I really shouldn’t…” You hesitated, seeing Ruby pout. “Okay. For a while.” She sat down on the edge of the bench next to Ruby. When Ruby smiled at her she returned it hesitantly and reached out, lightly touching the younger girl’s knee even as her heart hammered urgently against her chest.    
  
Leah frowned as she watched Ruby lean into You a bit. “So are you two dating or what? You know that’s not really good for school idols.”   
  
You shot her a slightly annoyed look. “We can do what we want.”   
  
“Does Ruby think that way?” Leah narrowed her eyes at You and closed her hand around Ruby’s arm, a little bewildered by her own actions if she was honest.    
  
You frowned at the action and drew Ruby closer to her. “Why do you care so much?”   
  
“I don’t! I mean it’s not like I like her or anything.” Leah said hurriedly. She winced after, wondering why she’d come out with that.    
  
You stared at Leah long and hard before she slowly let go of Ruby. Getting to her feet, she looked at the redhead in question. “I have to find Chika-chan. Can we talk later?”   
  
Ruby nodded in response and watched with a troubled expression as You turned and walked away from her, heading in the direction of Chika’s house.    
  
“I-I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to be so rude…”   
  
Ruby turned to Leah in confusion. It seemed the girl’s mood could change quickly. “It’s okay. Um…let’s just finish our snack.”   
  
“R-Right.”   
  
\----   
  
“You okay?” Kanan asked quietly as she followed Chika into the kitchen.    
  
“Yeah. Yeah, I’m fine.” Chika turned anxiously toward Kanan. “It’s just...this is so crazy. I know Riko-chan was with Nico but...she looked at me with hurt and…”   
  
Kanan drew Chika close to her, gently kissing her lips. “It’s gonna be okay.”   
  
Chika lifted her hands, grasping Kanan’s shoulders. “What if we don’t end up together after I change everything? What if this works and you forget about me and what we had together? What if you like someone else like Mari-chan o-or...”   
  
“Chika.” Kanan interrupted, her voice calm and unwavering. “If you change everything would you find me? Would you still want me?”   
  
“Yes.” Chika said quietly. “But you won’t. You won’t know. And what if you forget and you don’t want me?”   
  
“Chika, I…” Kanan hesitated, her eyes darting to the right before she spoke again. “I’ve been in love with you since I was a child. I just never told you. I didn’t think you’d ever feel the same way.”   
  
Chika looked shocked. “I-I thought you liked Mari…”   
  
“What?!” Kanan exclaimed in disbelief. “No! I would kill her. I’ve never had feelings for anyone but you. Besides, Mari is into Dia. Trust me, Chika. All you need to do is tell me you have feelings for me and I’m yours. You don’t have to worry about that.”   
  
Chika sniffled softly and moved forward, pressing her trembling lips to Kanan’s. She felt Kanan’s arms go around her and relaxed into her. “I love you.” She whispered, drawing away slightly.    
  
Nozomi watched from the doorway to the kitchen, a frown on her face as she noticed the fear in Chika’s voice. Over the years she had forced herself to hate Chika for what she had done to Honoka. What she’d done to everyone in Muse. But she remembered the affection she once felt toward the younger girl. She remembered wanting to help her and genuinely enjoying Chika’s company.    
  
She cleared her throat, drawing Chika and Kanan’s attention toward her. Kanan tensed, understandably while Chika herself looked a bit nervous at the sight of her.    
  
“Don’t worry, I’m not going to hit you again.” Nozomi told Kanan as she stepped further inside. Kanan slowly relaxed and Nozomi sat down at the small table in the kitchen. “You two finally got together then, huh? What happened to Riko-chan?”   
  
“I-I um...realized my feelings for her weren’t what I thought they were.” Chika answered, gripping Kanan’s hand. “Kanan-chan is the best person for me.”   
  
Nozomi’s lips turned up slightly into a sad smile as she focused on Kanan. “Honoka-chan really liked you. She told me you were easy to talk to. That you always made her feel better about whatever was happening because of their switches.”   
  
“She did?” Kanan was surprised though she remembered being fond of Honoka too. “I-I didn’t really do anything to help…”   
  
“You did. I’m glad she had someone like you.” Nozomi stared at the blushing girl for a moment longer before she sighed and rose to her feet. “You should think about going home before it gets too late.”   
  
“R-Right.” Chika watched as Nozomi turned and walked back out of the kitchen. “That was strange…”   
  
\----   
  
Kotori, Umi, Maki and Nozomi were talking between themselves in the living room when someone knocked at the apartment door.    
  
Maki went to answer it, a puzzled look on her face. It quickly cleared up when she found Raven standing in front of her, a near unconscious Rin on his back. Next to him, Emily was doing what she could to keep a swaying Hanayo on her feet.    
  
“What the hell happened?!”   
  
“They’re drunk.” Raven answered simply as he walked past Maki into the house. As the others cleared off of the couch he put Rin down with some difficulty, doing his best not to drop her. “We told them not to drink but they insisted they had to.”   
  
“Idiots.” Kotori said with a sigh, crossing her arms in front of her chest. “You couldn’t have stopped them?”   
  
“Have you ever tried to keep Hanayo from doing something she wants to do?” Raven asked skeptically. He stepped back, skimming his fingers through his hair and turned toward Hanayo.    
  
“I need to eat something.” Hanay mumbled, pushing herself away from Emily. She staggered to the kitchen and Raven made to go after her only to be stopped by a hand on his arm.    
  
“I’ll go.” Maki said quietly, letting go of him. She walked into the kitchen after Hanayo and found her going through the fridge.    
  
“You can tell they’re students.” Hanayo said without looking up. “They have less food in their fridge than I do.”   
  
Maki awkwardly cleared her throat. It was obvious Hanayo had assumed Raven would follow her. “Looking for something?”   
  
Hanayo jumped and turned around, almost stumbling in her drunken state. “Ah, damn it Maki! What are you doing here?”   
  
“I’m here to make sure you don’t hurt yourself. If you want something, I’ll make it for you.” Maki pointed out as she walked further into the room. “You’re too drunk.”   
  
Hanayo scoffed. “I could still cook better than you, even if I’m drunk. The safer option would be you staying out of the kitchen.”   
  
Maki sighed and reached into the fridge, taking out a bottle of water. “Why were you drinking?”   
  
“None of your business.”   
  
“Fine, just drink this then.” Maki pushed the bottle of water into Hanayo’s hands. “It’ll make you feel better tomorrow.”   
  
“I don’t want it.” Hanayo pushed the bottle back to Maki’s chest and let go, forcing her to scramble to catch it. “You drink it if you’re so concerned.”   
  
“Hanayo, I’m just trying to help you.” Maki set the bottle of water down and stepped forward, placing her hand on Hanayo’s arm. “I know you hate me. And you can go back to doing that tomorrow. But just let me help you, okay?”   
  
Hanayo tensed under Maki’s touch and looked down at the floor. She was silent for a moment before she spoke. “I don’t  _ hate  _ you. I’m just...I’m a mess too, you know? She died right next to me. She dropped RIGHT NEXT TO ME and nobody but Rin-chan cared. Honoka-chan saved me. She took me in despite all of my flaws when the two of you pushed me to her. She really helped me and all I could do was  _ watch _ her die.”   
  
“We could all say she saved us in some way.” Maki said, her voice practically a whisper. “And we all had to watch her die.”   
  
“I miss her. I miss her so much.” Hanayo’s eyes clouded with tears and she surged forward, throwing her arms around Maki.    
  
Maki was surprised by the force of the hug as she tumbled to the kitchen floor with Hanayo. For a moment she was too shocked by the fact that Hanayo was actually hugging her but finally she hugged her back.    
  
“I miss her too. I just want to save her.”   
  
“I’m sorry…”   
  
Hanayo’s mumbled apology had Maki’s eyes widening. “Huh?”   
  
“I-I’m sorry for abandoning you. I should have tried harder.” Hanayo said tearfully, drawing back slightly. “You needed us just as much as we needed you. I just thought you needed Kotori-chan more.”   
  
“I needed you too.” Maki said softly, hugging Hanayo tighter. “I wish I’d done more too.”   
  
Hanayo closed her eyes, hugging Maki back as tightly as she could.    
  
\----

 

“Where did you tell Eli you would be?” Maki asked softly, glancing at Honoka out of the corner of her eyes. She was sitting up in a hospital bed, wearing one of the usual hospital gowns.    
  
“At the hospital.” Honoka said with a shrug of her shoulders. “I don’t want to lie to her.”   
  
Maki looked skeptical. “So why isn’t she running around the hospital looking for you? In fact...why aren’t your parents?”   
  
“Eli-senpai is busy looking after Arisa-chan and my parents are busy looking after the shop. Yukiho wanted to come but my mom said she shouldn’t.” Honoka explained with a small smile. “I’m glad you’re here though, Maki-chan. You know more about this stuff than I do. You can tell me what it means.”   
  
Maki felt a tug at her heart and reached over, grasping Honoka’s hand in her own. She wished she could tell her something reassuring but she couldn’t yet Honoka didn’t fault her for that. She hadn’t blamed Maki once for all of the bad news she was receiving. “My dad should be here soon with the test results.”   
  
“That’s good.” Honoka mumbled with a slight smile as she rested her head back against the pillow. “I was thinking about going to visit Eli-senpai after this but I don’t want to interrupt her time with Arisa-chan. Do you maybe want to…”   
  
“Yeah.” Maki didn’t need to hear what Honoka was going to say next. She had no desire to leave her alone.    
  
“Maybe we can call Kotori-chan too.” Honoka mused, looking at Maki. “Though I don’t want to be a third wheel…”   
  
“You’re never a third wheel.” Maki disagreed with a shake of her head. “We want you there. Kotori loves you and I-I…” She hesitated as Honoka looked at her questioningly. “I want you there too.”   
  
Honoka smiled warmly at Maki and squeezed her hand just as the door was pushed open. She looked up in time to see Maki’s dad step into the small room, closing the door behind him.    
  
“Kousaka-san.” He greeted with a nod of his head. He glanced at Maki though he didn’t address her. “I’ve looked over your scans. It seems my earlier assumption was correct. The tumor is pressing against your optic nerve which is why your vision is blurred. Over time it will fade completely.”   
  
Honoka nodded in response. “Maki-chan told me that.”   
  
“You’ve been keeping tabs. How very studious of you.” Jin said, glancing at Maki. His daughter looked away and he briefly placed his hand on her head, gently ruffling her hair before he left the room.    
  
Honoka watched as the door closed behind him. “Well...I guess we should go too. We can meet up with Kotori-chan, like you said. She’ll probably be waiting to hear how my appointment went anyway.”   
  
“Right.” Maki noticed Honoka move to get up and quickly stood, reaching her hands out to her.    
  
Honoka gave a meek laugh as she got up from the bed. “I’m not blind yet, Maki-chan.”   
  
“I know, I just…” Maki trailed off, frowning to herself.    
  
Honoka stepped forward and hugged Maki tightly.    
  
Surprised, Maki hugged the girl back, detecting the slightest tremble. She heard Honoka take a shuddering breath but before she could say anything the second year was pulling away, pasting a bright smile to her face.    
  
“Let’s go, Maki-chan!”   
  
Maki let Honoka take her hand again and pull her along, out of the hospital room and down the corridor. As Honoka started to ramble about Kotori and what they would do for the rest of the day Maki found herself unconvinced by the other girl’s optimism. She remembered the way Honoka had clung to her so desperately a moment ago.    
  
When they stepped outside, she stopped, drawing Honoka to a stop with her. “Honoka?” She waited until Honoka glanced at her. “Have you been talking to Eli about...how you’re feeling about all of this?”   
  
“What?” Honoka looked surprised by the question. “Oh um...no. Well a little. But I don’t want to make her feel worse. She’s already upset. Mostly I talk to Umi-chan and Kotori-chan. Sometimes…”   
  
“You can talk to me too, you know.” Maki pointed out, somewhat awkwardly. “You don’t have to pretend you’re okay with me. We can talk about what you’re worried about, what you’re thinking. I’m not a kid and I’m not like Rin and Hanayo. I can take it. And I want to help you. I feel like...we’re closer now, right?”   
  
“Right. Thank you, Maki-chan.” Honoka said softly, her tone grateful.   
  
\----   
  
Chika turned her attention away from the view through the window of the train, back to Kanan who was dozing peacefully against her shoulder. She looked at ease, something she hadn’t seemed all day. Chika supposed she couldn't blame her for being concerned. They were in a roomful of people who hated her for one reason or another after all. Not that she blamed any of them either. She deserved their hatred.    
  
Chika shifted slowly, being careful not to wake Kanan and took her phone from her pocket. She was surprised to find she had over ten missed calls from You along with some increasingly frantic text messages. Hesitantly, she called You back and lifted the phone to her ear.    
  
You answered withing a few seconds. “Chika-chan! Where have you been?!”   
  
Chika cringed. “Uh...sorry, You-chan. I went to Tokyo with Kanan-chan. We’re on our way back now.”   
  
“You haven’t been answering my calls!” You exclaimed, anger and worry combining within her voice. “I’ve been calling and texting you all day. I even went to your house. And I can’t find Riko-chan either!”   
  
“Um...yeah, she’s in Tokyo too.” Chika said carefully. “I don’t think she’s coming back tonight. She said something about her mom thinking she was staying with someone from her old school or something…”   
  
“So she’s LYING?!” You exclaimed, clearly at a loss. “Damn it, Chika-chan. What’s going on? You’re acting weird, now Riko-chan is and you’re dragging Kanan-chan into it too!”   
  
“Um...it’s complicated.” Chika wasn’t sure what else she could say.    
  
“YOU USED TO TELL ME EVERYTHING!” You’s voice rose for a moment and Kanan stirred next to Chika before settling back down again. “Damn it, I just want to know what’s going on.”   
  
“You-chan are you okay?” Chika asked softly, her brow furrowed in concern. “Is something wrong?”   
  
“What’s wrong is my best friends won’t talk to me and I don’t know what the hell you’re doing!” You answered irritably. “I just want to help but I don’t even know what you’re doing. Why are you in Tokyo? Why did you leave Riko-chan behind?”   
  
“Well...she left us but…” Chika trailed off as You let out a growl of annoyance.    
  
“Exactly! That doesn’t sound like her!”   
  
Chika sighed softly and glanced down at Kanan. “You-chan, are you near a laptop?”   
  
“What? Yeah…”   
  
“Look up celebrity gossip, okay? You’ll see then.” Chika requested, idly reaching down to brush a stray strand of hair from Kanan’s face. She smiled softly when Kanan leaned into her touch.    
  
There was a moment of silence before You spoke again. “Riko-chan and YAZAWA NICO?! Are you serious? What is she doing with her?”   
  
“It’s understandable that people keep forgetting Nico-chan is a part of Muse.” Chika said thoughtfully. “She looked like a different person. Only school idols would really recognize her face. Others just see her as…”   
  
“International model Yazawa Nico!”   
  
“Well...yeah.” Chika agreed quietly. “So that’s where Riko-chan was. I’ll explain everything else later in person, okay?”   
  
“Right.” You didn’t sound happy but she agreed anyway. “Will you come over tomorrow?”   
  
“Of course. Bye, You-chan.”   
  
“Bye…”   
  
Chika ended the call with a sigh of relief and settled back next to Kanan, resting her head against her girlfriend’s.   



	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here’s the next chapter of ANITW, hope you guys enjoy!
> 
> Trigger warnings: Self-injury mention, attempted suicide mention, angst, medical triggers, violence and more ANGST (no but seriously don’t read if you’ll be triggered by the first two).

Honoka felt her throat burn in protest, her eyes watering as she leaned back from the toilet. She had been throwing up all morning and she was starting to worry that she wouldn’t be well enough for Muse’s next performance. She crawled to the wall and leaned back against it, her brow furrowing at the unpleasant taste in her mouth. She didn’t open her eyes as the bathroom door opened. She knew who it would be.    
  
She felt something cool and wet being pressed to her forehead and smiled faintly. “Thanks, Eli-senpai.”   
  
“Does that feel better?” Eli murmured, staring at Honoka in concern. She pressed a gentle kiss to her girlfriend’s forehead. She wished she could do more but there was little she could actually do to make Honoka feel better. She knew that if she called Maki the first year would only tell her what she already knew. That it was normal for Honoka to be getting worse. She didn’t need to hear that again.    
  
Honoka hummed in agreement and turned, huddling into Eli’s side.    
  
“Honoka.” Eli whispered hesitantly when Honoka didn’t say anything after a moment. She was worried that her girlfriend was dozing off. “We need to get ready for the Sunny Day song.”   
  
“I know.” Honoka buried her nose briefly in Eli’s shoulders and inhaled slow and deep, trying to calm herself. “Help me up, please.”   
  
Eli tentatively gripped Honoka’s arm and helped her to her feet. “You don’t have to d-”   
  
“I do.” Honoka interrupted, flashing a weak smile. “Everyone is counting on me, right? I have to be able to do this.”   
  
Eli lifted her hand, gently touching Honoka’s cheek. “You know, you’re the strongest person I’ve ever met.”   
  
Honoka laughed softly and shook her head. She wouldn’t say that she was strong. She certainly didn’t feel like it. “You’re stronger than me.” She mumbled, lightly nuzzling Eli’s palm. She wished she could stay like that forever, that she could freeze time in that moment. “I love you, Eli-senpai.”   
  
“I love you too.” Eli whispered, her chest tight. She kissed Honoka’s forehead and slowly lowered her hands.    
  
“Go and tell the others I’ll be there in a minute.” Honoka said with a soft smile. “I need to brush my teeth so I can actually kiss you before our performance.”   
  
Eli blushed at the comment and nodded her head. “If you need me just yell. I’ll be in the next room. I’ll um...tell Kotori and Umi they don’t have to worry about you?”   
  
“They’re worried about me?” Honoka winced at the suggestion. She hadn’t meant to worry anyone but now that she thought about it, they were only in the next room. They could probably hear her throwing up through the wall. “Tell them I’m fine. I’ll be there in a minute.”   
  
“Okay.” Eli hesitated, reluctant to leave Honoka’s side but finally she sighed and left the room, leaving the door slightly ajar behind her.    
  
Honoka turned to the bathroom sink and looked into the mirror hanging over it. She braced herself with her hands on the sink and took a slow breath, meeting her own eyes in the mirror. “Keep it together.” She mumbled, steeling herself. “You can do this. It’s just one more performance.”   
  
Behind her the door slowly opened and she glanced over, finding Kotori and Umi standing there. The former was holding her dress in her arms, clearly already dressed herself while Umi, who was also dressed for the performance held up Honoka’s toothbrush.    
  
“You left this in your bag.” Umi said sheepishly as she slipped into the room.     
  
Kotori followed Umi and shut the door behind her. “We thought you could use some help getting dressed. These dresses are kind of tricky to get into.”

  
Honoka managed a small smile. She knew that was unlikely to be true, Kotori was just trying to make her feel better. “Thanks. I-I suppose I could use some help. Ah, I’m fine though. I just felt a bit nauseous.”   
  
Umi walked over to Honoka, placing a hand lightly against her forehead. “You don’t have a fever so you should be fine. But if you don’t feel well enough to-”   
  
“I do!” Honoka interjected quickly.    
  
Umi sighed and briefly looked to Kotori. “Honoka, we’re here for you no matter what.”   
  
“A-Rise and the others are waiting.” Honoka took her toothbrush from Umi and turned back toward the sink.    
  
Umi felt a hand slip into her own as Honoka started to brush her teeth. She looked to Kotori who shook her head, her lips set into a thin, worried line. Both of them knew there was little they could say to dissuade Honoka from something she had her mind set on.    
  
\-----   
  
Eli looked up as someone rapped on the door to her bedroom. She had been staring vacantly out of the window for some time now but it barely felt like any time had passed at all. “Come in.”   
  
The door opened and Yukiho stepped into the room. “Hey. Um...do you want some lunch or something? You haven’t eaten anything today.”   
  
Eli shook her head. “I’m fine, I don’t need anything.”   
  
Yukiho swallowed thickly. “You shouldn’t stay stuck in this room. At least come shopping with me and Arisa-chan. It might cheer you up.”   
  
“Wouldn’t that be weird?” Eli asked dryly, raising an eyebrow. “You two are seventeen.”   
  
“Oh, give me a break.” Yukiho sighed. “You need to get out. We need to get you away from all of this damn alcohol.” She gestured at the bottles and cans scattered around the room. “Come on, do it for me. I moved into this place to help you out. For Arisa-chan. So get up and get dressed, we’re going shopping!”   
  
“I can’t.” Eli got to her feet, feeling a little sick. She swayed slightly on her feet. “Do you need some money?”   
  
Yukiho growled and walked across the room, grabbing Eli’s wrist. With little care toward how rough she was being she dragged Eli to the bathroom and shoved her inside.    
  
“You’re a mess.” Yukiho said, turning on the shower. She turned to Eli, noticing the bags under her eyes. The blonde was thinner than she used to be too, she noticed. She just looked more lifeless. “I can’t believe I have to take care of someone older than me agai-” She choked on her words, thinking of Honoka and tears sprang to her eyes. “Damn it, why do you have to be so helpless?!”   
  
Eli stared at Yukiho in silence for a moment before she spoke. “I don’t know.”   
  
“You’re not the only one in pain.” Yukiho roughly wiped at her eyes. “My whole family was torn apart. I can’t even be in my own home without feeling sick.”   
  
“I-I…” Eli shook her head, struggling to get her words out.    
  
Yukiho quickly shrugged off her shirt and skirt before she approached Eli. The blonde fought her at first but finally Yukiho managed to grab the front of the shirt she was wearing. “Damn it, just stop and let me help you!”   
  
Eli fell still and let Yukiho strip her down to her undergarments before dragging her into the shower. She went along numbly and closed her eyes as she was moved under the spray of hot water.    
  
She felt warm skin against her back as Yukiho rested her forehead against her shoulder. She bit her lip, tears prickling at her eyes.    
  
“How do you think Arisa-chan would feel if she saw you like this again?” Yukiho demanded, her voice rough. “You promised her you would stop drinking. You promised her you would  _ try _ . You need to pull it together. You’re going to kill yourself if you keep going like this!”   
  
“Wouldn’t be the first time I’ve…” Eli gasped in surprise as Yukiho whirled her around. She vaguely recognized that Yukiho had gripped her arms before she found her back pressed against the cold tiled wall behind her.    
  
“Is that what you want?!” Yukiho growled, her eyes misted with tears. “You want to put Arisa-chan through losing a sister too.  _ Do _ you?! Do you have any idea what I went through? There’s no way in  _ hell _ I’m letting her feel that. The worst part is that at least Onee-chan didn’t want to die. Don’t you dare put Arisa-chan in that position. I care about you but I’d die for her.”   
  
“I would have died for Honoka.” Eli noticed tears tracking their way down Yukiho’s cheeks but she felt numb to them. “I wish I could have.”   
  
“Damn it!” Yukiho tightened her grip on Eli’s arms, neither of them noticing she was holding tight enough to bruise, her nails digging into Eli’s skin. “So would I! She’s my family, I would’ve gladly taken her place! And Arisa would die for you! If you’ll try to do anything she’ll be the one taking your damn place! I’ve already seen the scars. She goes to your room every night to keep you from hurting yourself only to end up hurting herself because she can’t deal with losing you! She just wants you safe, you idiot!”   
  
“What are you talking about?” Eli finally managed to focus long enough to answer.    
  
“She was so terrified of losing you when you went to Russia. Do you even  _ know _ how happy she was when you got back?!” Yukiho demanded loudly. She was relieved Arisa was out still, at least. “She thought it would get better. That she wouldn’t have to worry as much but she  _ does _ , doesn’t she?!”   
  
Eli stared at her blankly and Yukiho took it upon herself to elaborate. “Scars. She cuts herself, idiot. She used to come in all of the time with bandages on her wrists. I’m freaking terrified of losing her. I can’t lose her, she’s my best friend. The only one keeping me together. But if you die, it’ll push her over the edge, I know it.”   
  
“I’m not going to die.” Eli finally seemed to gather up some control. She planted her hands on Yukiho’s shoulders, thinking about pushing her away but instead she pulled her in close, hugging her hard. “I’m sorry.”   
  
Yukiho’s knees buckled and they sank to the tub together, Yukiho’s tears overwhelming her.    
  
\-----   
  
“Are you sure Chika-chan won’t mind us showing up without saying something first?” Ruby asked anxiously as she let You lead her down the street. She was nervous but You’s hand in her own was more than enough to distract her. You wasn’t just holding her hands though. Their fingers were entwined, like a real couple. Ruby’s heart skipped a beat whenever she thought about that.    
  
“I don’t care, I want to know what’s going on and Chika-chan won’t tell me anything.” You huffed in annoyance. “She has to stop hiding from me. From the group. This is getting ridiculous.”   
  
Ruby hummed in agreement. She had to admit, she had noticed that Chika was acting strangely over the past few weeks.    
  
“Oh, the door!” You let go of Ruby’s hand and ran ahead to the apartment building a few feet in front of them as a man emerged. She caught the door just before it swung shut and beckoned for Ruby to hurry.    
  
Ruby did so, her heart beating hard against her ribcage. You was cool no matter what she did but You breaking the rules made her so much more attractive in Ruby’s eyes.    
  
You grinned at Ruby as the girl took her hand again. She could see the excitement in Ruby’s eyes.“Still regret coming along?”   
  
Ruby shook her head and let You lead her to the stairs. They walked a couple of floors up until they came to the second floor.    
  
“Do you know which apartment it is?” Ruby asked as You led her out of the stairwell.    
  
You nodded. “Riko-chan told me which one it was.” She answered as she led the way to the door. She raised her hand to knock but glanced briefly at Ruby. “Ready?”   
  
“Yes. No, wait…” Ruby hesitated and You lowered her hand. “We shouldn’t really be doing this should we?”   
  
“It’s exciting, Ruby-chan.” You tugged Ruby close by her hand and kissed her, taking the younger girl by surprise. She grasped onto You’s shoulder and automatically kissed her back. “Like this, see? We’re taking risks.”   
  
“Y-You-chan kissed me.” Ruby said, surprised You had made the first move. “W-What about Onee-chan?”   
  
“Let’s not think about her right now.” You gently gripped Ruby’s chin and kissed her once more, just fleetingly this time. “Let’s do this, Ruby-chan. Together.”   
  
A hopeful smile formed on Ruby’s face. She like this new version of You that she was seeing. The version of her that was assertive and knew what she wanted. “Will you kiss me again before we knock?”   
  
You answered by drawing Ruby close to her and dipped her head to kiss her again. She felt Ruby’s arms go around her neck as the girl kissed her back properly this time, now that she had time to prepare. You’s lips tingle pleasantly with every brush against Ruby’s, a warm feeling forming in her stomach and she wondered why she’d held back for so long. Caught up in the kiss, neither of them noticed the door open.    
  
Emily quickly covered Rin’s eyes but Rin nudged her hand out of the way, just as fast. “Kotori-chan, there are some girls making out outside your apartment!”   
  
Ruby and You hurriedly drew away from the kiss, both of them blushing brightly.    
  
“S-Sorry.” You stuttered, bowing in apology.    
  
Emily nudged Rin out of the way as Kotori reached the doorway.    
  
“I thought Japanese people were more...meek to this kind of stuff?” Emily asked, struggling to figure out what was happening.    
  
“I guess Americans are a bad influence.” Rin grinned teasingly as she stopped a few feet away with Emily, turning her attention back to the door.    
  
“You can say that again.” Emily muttered, surprised by what she’d seen. “But we aren’t that bad at least.”   
  
“We?!” Rin squeaked, turning wide eyes back to Emily.    
  
Emily blinked. “Um...yeah. Americans. What did you think I…?”   
  
“Nothing, t-that’s exactly it!” Rin vaguely heard Hanayo giggle in response to her misunderstanding but chose to ignore it.    
  
Kotori looked the two newcomers up and down. They were clearly high school students. She sighed heavily and briefly pinched the bridge of her nose. “Chika-chan, it’s for you!” She stepped back, gesturing for Ruby and You to enter the apartment. “Come in, I guess.”   
  
“That was Hoshizora Rin.” Ruby whispered excitedly to You who still seemed too embarrassed to have noticed whose apartment they were going to. When they got inside, Ruby stopped short, her eyes widening as she noticed Hanayo sitting on the couch across the room with a dark haired male.    
  
Chika appeared from the kitchen with Kanan right behind her. “You-chan, Ruby-chan...what are you doing here?” As she crossed the room to them she shot Kotori an apologetic look but Kotori was already on her way over to Maki. “You have to leave.”   
  
“Why are you in an apartment with Muse, Chika-chan?” Ruby asked curiously as she glanced around the room, taking all of them in. “Do you know them?”   
  
“K-Kind of.” Chika answered, hesitant to say anything to upset Ruby. “You-chan, I’ll explain everything later but I need you to give me some time. These people hate me enough already, without me dragging my best friend here!”   
  
You crossed her arms in front of her chest. “I’m not going anywhere.”   
  
Kanan sighed. “You…”   
  
“I’m NOT leaving. Explain everything to me and then maybe I’ll leave.” You replied stubbornly. “I’m staying right here.”   
  
Chika growled under her breath. “Fine! Damn it, You-chan.” She took a deep breath before she turned to the other occupants on the room. “Um...I’m sorry about the intrusion. Don’t hate them. Ruby-chan is a big fan of you guys and um...they have nothing to do with what I did. So just hate me, not them.”   
  
“That’s fair.” Hanayo said while the other members of Muse nodded their agreement. “We wouldn’t judge your friends for what you’ve done. We don’t hate Kanan-san, do we?”   
  
“Gee, thanks.” Kanan muttered with a roll of her eyes. She noticed Ruby had wandered away from You’s side and looked around, wondering where the girl had gone. Dia would kill her if she let anything happen to Ruby. She noticed Ruby come to a stop in front of Maki and Kotori. “Uh-oh…”   
  
“P-Pardon the intrusion!” Ruby exclaimed nervously, bowing her head to the two of them.    
  
Kanan watched with interest as Maki and Kotori shared a look. It was rare to see someone not pulled in by how adorable Ruby was.    
  
“It’s fine.” Maki finally said, causing Ruby to breathe a sigh of relief and straighten up.    
  
Kanan smirked to herself. It seemed that now would be no exception to that rule.    
  
“You’re Nishikino Maki, right?” Ruby asked nervously, wringing her hands in front of her. She watched as Maki nodded in response. “I-It’s nice to meet you, Maki-senpai.”   
  
Maki smiled, a slight blush coloring her cheeks. Ruby seemed like she was almost in awe at meeting her. It was odd to say the least. “Ah, you too. Um…?”   
  
“Ruby!” Ruby answered brightly. “My name’s Kurosawa Ruby.”   
  
Kotori giggled as Maki seemed to turn even more red. “It’s nice to meet you, Ruby-chan. Don’t mind Maki-chan, she’s a giant softy despite her appearance. Oh, I’m Kotori by the way.”   
  
Ruby laughed softly at that. “I already knew that. Your costumes are amazing.”   
  
“You influenced ours!” You blurted out from across the room, having been listening to the conversation. “I really loved Wonderful Rush.”   
  
“That’s because they were wearing uniforms.” Kanan quipped with a roll of her eyes.    
  
“SHUT UP!”   
  
“You have a huge uniform fetish, You-chan.” Chika pointed out matter of factly. “Remember when you jumped over the balcony to catch one at school? Me and Riko-chan had to save you.”   
  
Emily raised an eyebrow at the conversation.  "Japanese people are strange..."   
  
"Well at least she didn't die?” Raven pointed out with a shrug of his shoulders. “That could have gone a lot worse.”   
  
"Idols are very dedicated.” Rin pointed out, glancing between the two of them.    
  
"You kidding me? She wants to be a navy officer.” Kanan said with a bemused look on her face.    
  
“Okay, no more picking on me!” You exclaimed quickly, her cheeks flushed with embarrassment. She turned to Ruby. “You must think I’m lame now.”   
  
Ruby shook her head. “I think you’re adorable. And you’re still cool.”   
  
Chika’s eyes widened as she turned to You. “Is there something you want to tell me, You-chan?”   
  
“After you.” You countered, narrowing her eyes.    
  
\-----   
  
_ Eli nudged open Honoka’s bedroom door with her foot and crossed the room with Honoka in her arms. That last performance had really taken all of the energy Honoka had. She gently lay Honoka down on the bed and turned to leave only for Honoka to weakly grab her hand.  _ _   
_ _   
_ _ “Eli-senpai. Don’t leave me.” _ _   
_ _   
_ _ Eli’s heart twisted painfully in her chest. “I was just going to the bathroom.” She sat down on the edge of the bed and kissed the back of Honoka’s hand. “How do you feel?” _ _   
_ _   
_ _ “I’m okay.” Honoka opened her eyes a little, a smile gracing her lips when she lay eyes on Eli. “You’re going to come back, aren’t you?” _ _   
_ _   
_ _ “Yeah, o-of course.” Eli leaned down and hugged Honoka gently, both because she wanted her close and to hide the tears that suddenly prickled at her eyes. “I’m always going to be here for you.” _ _   
_ _   
_ _ Honoka hugged Eli back as best she could, turning her head to press a gentle kiss to the blonde’s cheek. They stayed like that for a moment until there was a light knock at the door.  _ _   
_ _   
_ _ Eli quickly wiped her eyes before she pulled away and turned to look at the door. Maki and Nozomi were standing in the doorway. “Hey. What’s going on?” _ _   
_ _   
_ _ “We were hoping we could get a minute with Honoka.” Maki answered hopefully. They had followed Eli down the hallway but had paused outside to give the two a moment alone. “Alone? We won’t be long.” _ _   
_ _   
_ _ “That’s fine, I was just going to the bathroom anyway.” Eli got to her feet and gently squeezed Honoka’s hand. “I’ll be right back, Honoka.” _ _   
_ _   
_ _ Honoka gave a hum of approval and watched as Eli left the room. Remembering that Nozomi and Maki seemed to want to talk to her she tried to push herself up in the bed but her arms were weak. She barely managed a couple of inches before she fell back to the bed with a wince of pain.  _ _   
_ _   
_ _ “Don’t get up.” Nozomi said quickly as she moved forward. She took Eli’s place, sitting on the edge of the bed. “It’s okay. We just wanted to talk to you for a few minutes.” _ _   
_ _   
_ _ “Is something wrong?” Honoka asked tiredly. As much as she wanted to try to sit up again she knew she shouldn’t. She wouldn’t be able to. Feeling the bed shift next to her she looked over at Maki who offered a small smile. “Maki-chan?” _ _   
_ _   
_ _ “Nothing’s wrong.” Maki answered with a shake of her head.  _ _   
_ _   
_ _ Honoka closed her eyes, feeling Nozomi’s hand come up to gently stroke her hair. She smiled blissfully and leaned into the touch. “I guess you two must be happy that you’re getting Kotori-chan and Umi-chan back tonight.” She said, a hint of teasing in her voice. “I’ve been stealing them away from you lately.” _ _   
_ _   
_ _ “We don’t mind if it’s you.” Nozomi looked over at Maki. “Just tell her, Maki-chan.” _ _   
_ _   
_ _ “Tell me what?” Honoka opened her eyes to blink up at the two, her tiredness forgotten about for the moment. She looked at the notebook Maki was holding. “What’s that?” _ _   
_ _   
_ _ “Um...I wrote this.” Maki answered awkwardly.  _ _   
_ _   
_ _ “Oh. Let me see, Maki-chan. And help me up.” Honoka lifted her hands, clearly wishing for Nozomi and Maki to grasp them. Hesitantly, they did so, helping her into a sitting position. Nozomi positioned Honoka’s pillows behind her for support. “Thank you. Now let me see.” _ _   
_ _   
_ _ “Um...okay.” Maki opened the notebook to the correct page and handed it to Honoka. “I-It’s nothing, really. It’s just a song I…” _ _   
_ _   
_ _ “Shh, Maki-chan.” Nozomi said softly, watching Honoka closely. “It’s not nothing. Just let her read it.” _ _   
_ _   
_ _ Honoka glanced between them before she eagerly turned her attention to the lyrics on the page, mouthing the words as she read through them. She hesitated, seeing her name and glanced briefly up at Maki but then continued to read.  _ _   
_ _   
_ _ Noticing Maki looked pale, Nozomi reached out and took the redhead’s hand into her own, squeezing it reassuringly. They noticed Honoka shift, leaning over the page a little more as she read on.  _ _   
_ _   
_ _ A few moments passed and Maki was about to ask what Honoka thought when she noticed something splash onto the page. It took her a moment to realize that Honoka’s shoulders were shaking. “Honoka…” _ _   
_ _   
_ _ Maki reached out and took the book from Honoka, setting it aside before she leaned in and hugged her as tightly as she could. She felt Honoka’s arms go around her, followed by another pair of arms. Looking up she saw Nozomi had tears in her eyes. She wasn’t surprised to find that her eyes weren’t exactly dry themselves.  _ _   
_ _   
_ _ “It’s beautiful.” Honoka choked out, holding onto Maki tightly. “You poured your heart and soul into this song. I love it.” _ _   
_ _   
_ _ Maki couldn’t help it, her tears came even faster at the comment and she pressed her face into Honoka’s shoulder, vaguely feeling Nozomi rubbing her back.  _ _   
_ _   
_ _ “It’s okay, Maki-chan.” Honoka whispered, gently drawing away from the embrace. She brushed Maki’s tears away with a gentle touch of her hand. “I know how much Muse means to you. To all of us.” _ _   
_ _   
_ _ “No, you don’t.” Maki choked out, her lower lip trembling. “You mean more to all of us than Muse. Everyone in Muse loves you and looks up to you. I-I do too even if I don’t say it much.” _ _   
_ _   
_ _ Honoka bit the inside of her cheek. “I love you too, Maki-chan. All of you.” She glanced to Nozomi and reached out to grip her hand. “We have to perform your song. All of us, together.” _ _   
_ _   
_ _ “What?” Maki looked shocked by the suggestion. “But we can’t.” _ _   
_ _   
_ _ “We have to.” Honoka said firmly. “It can be our real last performance.” She noticed movement near the door and looked over to see Eli approaching. “I meant it when I said I love you two but I want to spend the night with my girlfriend. And you two should spend it with yours.” _ _   
_ _   
_ _ “Right.” Maki mumbled. She hugged Honoka one last time before she left the room. Nozomi did the same before she left too.  _ _   
_ _   
_ _ Nozomi closed the door behind her and noticed Maki standing in the hallway, her shoulders shaking. Her hand covered her mouth, tears tracking their way down her cheeks. “Maki-chan…” She lay a gentle hand on Maki’s shoulder only to be quickly shrugged off.  _ _   
_ _   
_ _ “I-I have to go. I have to see Kotori.” Maki fled quickly, not waiting for an answer from Nozomi.  _   
  
Maki shook her head, snapping out of her stupor. She’d been standing over the keyboard in the study when her mind had inevitably slipped to that day. She should never have given Honoka that song to read. If she hadn’t Honoka would have had longer, she wouldn’t have died the way she had.    
  
She growled softly under her breath as she looked at the keyboard. She hated looking at it. She hated the idea of writing more songs that only hurt people in the end. She looked away, to the desk which had books and paper strewn all over it.    
  
She reached up, gripping the front of her shirt over her heart. She needed to study. Her legacy depended upon it. Both she and Kotori needed to focus on being successful. It was important to their parents after all and it was an important part of Japanese society.    
  
Unlike Nozomi and Umi, who were in a more friendly area in the west, they had to keep their lives together private. Even Kotori’s mother was unaware that Maki was ‘sharing’ the apartment with Kotori.   
  
“Damn it.” Maki cursed, going to her desk. She sank down and opened her top drawer, taking out a pack of cigarettes. She leaned back in her seat and flicked them open with her thumb, taking out a cigarette. Her lighter was in the pack, where she’d left it.    
  
She froze as the door to her study was pushed open. She expected Kotori to walk in and find her but instead it was Hanayo who merely raised an eyebrow at what she was doing.    
  
“Stressed?” Hanayo closed the door behind her and walked toward the desk, perching on the edge. She held out her hand to Maki. “Give me one.”   
  
“Um…” Maki wasn’t sure what to do but she handed over the rest of the pack. She looked down at the cigarette, rolling it between her fingers. “You smoke?”   
  
“On and off.” Hanayo answered with a casual shrug of her shoulders. “Go ahead. I’m not going to judge you.”   
  
Maki nervously put the cigarette between her lips and lit it, handing the lighter to Hanayo who lit her own without hesitation.    
  
“You don’t have anything to drink in here, do you?” Hanayo asked after taking a long drag from the cigarette. “You know...not water?”   
  
Maki’s brow furrowed in confusion. “What? I have energy drinks for when I stay up late. And coffee.” She pointed to the espresso machine in the corner.    
  
“Alcohol, Maki. I wanted alcohol.” Hanayo rolled her eyes. “Forget about it. Does Kotori-chan know you smoke?”   
  
“Does Raven know that  _ you _ smoke?”   
  
Hanayo laughed in response. “No. I stopped after my ex-girlfriend…” She trailed off for a moment but finally shook her head. “I don’t do this often. I’m just stressed. So what about you?”   
  
“She knows. I told her I would stop.” Maki glanced down at the cigarette in her hand in disgust but she couldn’t bring herself to toss it. “   
  
“Wow.” Hanayo raised an eyebrow. “You’re more screwed up than I thought.”   
  
“Yeah well so are you.” Maki took another drag from the cigarette and let out the smoke slowly. “Don’t…”   
  
“Tell Kotori-chan. Got it.” Hanayo laughed and stood up, pocketing the cigarettes. “I’ll be keeping these though.”   
  
Maki nodded grimly and watched as Hanayo moved toward the piano, brushing her fingers against the keys. “I really hate playing, you know.”   
  
“Hmm?”   
  
“Piano. I’ve grown to hate that damn instrument more than anything else in my life. Even more than myself. I can’t even play anymore.” Maki tossed the cigarette onto the desk, not caring where it landed. “Honoka would hate seeing me like this. She’d hate that I don’t have the passion I used to have, that I’m lying to Kotori when I don’t even deserve her, making promises I can’t keep...” She drew her knees to her chest, tears that had welled up in her eyes spilling down her cheeks. “I’m so fucking useless. I can’t even sing anymore. Seeing that...that innocent first year, I can’t bring myself to accept their...worshipping of Muse. They should never like us, not without HER.”   
  
Hanayo’s cool expression faded as she watched Maki break down in front of her, the usually calm redhead reduced to tears. She wondered if she should get Kotori but shook her head. She could do this. Maki was her friend. She walked over to the hysterical girl and sat on the desk right in front of her. She awkward wrapped her arms around Maki and pulled her to her shoulder. “It’s okay, Maki-chan. I’m here. I’m here.”   
  
“We’re both here.”    
  
Hanayo looked over her shoulder, surprised to see Rin walk into the room. She hadn’t even noticed the door opening.    
  
Rin crossed the room and leaned down, wrapping her arms around both Maki and Hanayo. “We’re here for you, Maki-chan. We’re not going to leave you again.”   
  
\----   
  
“Wow.” You murmured as she leaned back on the bed. She wasn’t sure whose room she was in, only that Chika had dragged her off to explain things. “That explains your strange behavior these days.”   
  
“Yeah. So um...your turn! Tell me what’s happening with Ruby-chan.” Chika said, eager to change the subject.    
  
“We’re together now. For real this time.”   
  
“What about Leah-chan?” Chika asked, raising an eyebrow.    
  
“I’m not gonna let her steal my girl.” You answered confidently, shaking her head. “Ruby-chan is  _ my _ girlfriend.”   
  
“Oh so you  _ were _ jealous of her?”   
  
You shrugged her shoulders. “Well she’s as fit as me and I hate to admit it but her awkwardness is endearing. I had to make sure Ruby-chan knows that I like her.”   
  
“What about Dia-san?” Chika asked, shifting position on the bed so that she was facing You more directly.    
  
“Ah, I haven’t...told her yet.” You answered sheepishly.    
  
“So secret girlfriends?!” Chika looked excited by the prospect and You lightly swatter her leg.    
  
“Shut up! I’ll talk to her about it, I don’t want this to be a secret. And if we lie to Dia-san she’ll only be mad at us later anyway. I want to be honest.”   
  
“That’s smart.” Chika looked surprised, earning herself a glare from You. “W-What? I’m just saying! Let’s go and make sure Ruby-chan is okay. At least Muse seem to like her.”   
  
“Who doesn’t like Ruby?” You asked skeptically as she got to her feet. She followed Chika out of the room just in time to hear Ruby blurt out a question.    
  
“A-Are you dating?!”   
  
Chika followed Ruby’s gaze to Hanayo, Rin, Raven and Emily.    
  
“D-Dating?!” Rin exclaimed, the four of them turning a different shade of red. “W-We aren’t…” She laughed nervously and glanced at Emily. “N-No, nya.”   
  
“We are.” Hanayo answered confidently, gesturing between herself and Raven. “Those two are just um…’friends’.”   
  
“I-I was actually thinking about asking you out.” Emily blurted out in English, her gaze fixed upon Rin.    
  
“Wait, what?!” Rin’s face went bright red as she turned to Emily in shock. “I-I mean yes! YES. Of course I’ll go out with you.”   
  
Hanayo turned her face into Raven’s shoulder, muffling a giggle into his shirt while he smiled broadly at the couple.    
  
“I guess you don’t have to ask her after all.” Raven laughed as Rin and Emily awkwardly looked away from each other then back again.    
  
Kotori walked over to a puzzled looking Ruby. “Ah, I think you just gave her the excuse she needed to ask Rin-chan out.”   
  
“I did?” Ruby looked pleasantly surprised by that. She didn’t have time to dwell on it though as the front door suddenly flew open.    
  
“I found Eli!” Nico announced as she walked into the room, closing the door behind her when Riko was inside. She paused as everyone in the room turned to her. “What? If it means we get Honoka back I’m obviously going to help. Wait...are there more of us now?!”   
  
“That’s You-chan and that’s Ruby-chan.” Riko pointed the two of them out. “You-chan, does Dia-san know you brought Ruby-chan here?”   
  
“Uh...kinda. No?” You answered sheepishly. “Mari-san is distracting her.”   
  
“You-chan!”   
  
“Come on, Riko-chan. Relax.” You shrugged her shoulders. “It’s fine.”   
  
Riko threw her hands up in exasperation and glanced over at Chika. “Did you know she was coming?”   
  
“Well...I didn’t know any of you would be coming.” Chika said dryly. “I thought it would just be me and Kanan-chan.”   
  
“Riko’s with me.” Nico said quietly, stepping into the room. “So it’s fine.”   
  
“Still can’t believe you’re going out with an international model.” You let out a low whistle. “Nice catch, Riko-chan.”   
  
Riko blushed while Nico rolled her eyes but looked a little smug.    
  
“Anyway, you  _ did _ hear me say that I found Eli, right?” Nico looked around at her friends. “What are we going to do about it? And where the hell are Nozomi and Umi?!”   
  
“Umi-chan had an episode.” Kotori said carefully, her expression suddenly serious. “She deleted the video accidentally and Nozomi had to calm her down. They’re napping now.”   
  
Chika’s eyes widened as she turned to Kotori. “Why didn’t you tell me?! I could have sent it to her phone again!”   
  
Kotori paused for a moment before cursing under her breath. She hadn’t even thought about that.    
  
Nico cleared her throat. “What do you want to do about Eli then? Maybe only a couple of us should go. Um...maybe not Nozomi.”   
  
“Definitely not Nozomi.” Hanayo deadpanned.    
  
“I vote Maki-chan.” Rin piped up from across the room, earning herself a surprised look from Maki herself.   
  
Kotori glanced at Maki. “You think you can handle it.”   
  
Maki hesitated. “Only if you and Nico come with me.”   
  
“Of course.” Kotori answered while Nico nodded in response. “I don’t think it’s going to be easy to get through to her.”   
  
“If she tries to punch you I’m not going to stop it though.” Nico told Maki matter of factly.   
  
“Nico!” Kotori growled in annoyance.    
  
Riko stepped on Nico’s foot. “Be nice.” She hissed under her breath.    
  
Nico rolled her eyes. “Fine, fine…”   
  
Raven cleared his throat. “Um...I can drive you if you want. And wait in the car.”   
  
Maki nodded, distracted momentarily by Nico’s threat. “Yeah, thanks.”   
  
\-----   
  
_ When Nozomi reached her apartment she found Umi sitting outside. As she approached, Umi got to her feet and offered a small smile. Nozomi couldn’t bring herself to return it. She let them into the apartment in silence and closed the door behind her. She numbly slipped off her jacket and shoes, placing them neatly as she usually did before she made her way further inside.  _ _   
_ _   
_ _ “Nozomi.” Umi said softly when Nozomi paused in the middle of the apartment. She could see that Nozomi was struggling to compose herself, her hands closed into fists, her breathing deeper than usual. “Nozomi. What’s wrong?” _ _   
_ _   
_ _ “I can’t do anything.” Nozomi mumbled to herself. She tried to take a deep breath but her chest felt too tight. “It’s gonna be over soon and I can’t do anything.” _ _   
_ _   
_ _ “Nozomi, Honoka is…” Umi jumped back as Nozomi suddenly lashed out with an angry yell, sweeping everything she’d neatly arranged on the table in front of her to the floor. She heard a glass smash as Nozomi hit it with the back of her hand, sending glass everywhere. She swallowed thickly. She’d never seen Nozomi like this. “Nozomi, it’s okay. I…” _ _   
_ _   
_ _ Nozomi turned around and marched over to Umi, grasping her arm. She accidentally pushed her into the wall and Umi gasped softly in surprise.  _ _   
_ _   
_ _ “How the fuck is it okay?!” Nozomi’s eyes were bright with tears that clung to her lashes and fell. “Honoka is DYING AND IT’S ALL MY GODDAMN FAULT! I CAN’T DO ANYTHING, I’M SO FUCKING...I’m so useless!” _ _   
_ _   
_ _ “It’s not your fault.” Umi noticed Nozomi about to retaliate and surged forward, hugging her tightly. Too tightly. She caught sight of blood on the floor and realized that Nozomi must have hurt herself. “It’s NOT your fault!” _ _   
_ _   
_ _ “IT IS!” Nozomi struggled against Umi’s hold but the second year was stronger than her. “It is, it’s all my fault. I should have done something. I should have helped more, I-I...it’s my fault Honoka is dying. It’s…” _ _   
_ _   
_ _ “Nozomi, no.” Umi felt Nozomi collapse against her, sobbing hard into her chest and she felt her own eyes fill with tears. “It’s not anybody’s fault, especially not yours. Honoka doesn’t blame you. She loves you, she looks up to you.” _ _   
_ _   
_ _ “She trusted me a-and I failed her.” Nozomi sobbed, grasping onto Umi’s shirt as tightly as she could. “I just wanted to help her, I just...I just wanted them to be happy and now I’ve ruined it!” _ _   
_ _   
_ _ Umi didn’t know what to say to that so she settled for holding Nozomi tighter even as her own tears fell.  _ _   
_ _   
_ Nozomi blinked hurriedly, surprised by the tears that filled her eyes. She’d felt like it was her fault back then and if possible she was even more sure of that now. She should have done something more to keep Chika under control. She should have protected Honoka like she’d promised she would.    
  
She looked down at Umi who was huddled into her side, clutching tightly at her waist. Her girlfriend had long since calmed down and fallen asleep but even now she looked distressed. Nozomi lightly brushed her fingers against Umi’s cheek. Sometimes she wasn’t sure what Umi saw in her or how she had managed to put up with her for so long.    
  
“Nozomi, don’t cry…” Umi mumbled in her sleep, pressing her face further into Umi’s shoulder. “It’s not your fault.”   
  
Nozomi frowned at the tired mumbling. It seemed like Umi was experiencing a memory that was similar to her own. Possibly the same one though Nozomi could remember a number of instances where she’d broken down over being to blame for Honoka’s death. It was true though, she was to blame. Umi should hate her for what she’d done.    
  
Nozomi took a deep breath, anger welling up in her chest. She gripped her hand with her other hand. “Control it.” She mumbled to herself. She was trying to keep her anger under control. She’d lost control too many times. She remembered a time when she’d punched a cashier, back when she was in university. He’d been bothering her for a while, always hitting on her and besides that, she’d been struggling with her guilt. She’d just lashed out.    
  
She exhaled slowly, calming herself down. She needed more control over herself, she needed to make sure that she wasn’t going to lose Umi like she’d been at risk of doing in the past.    
  
Her anger faded completely as Umi nuzzled closer to her, a tired grumble passing her lips. Nozomi’s lips turned upward slightly at the sound and she leaned close to press her lips to the top of Umi’s head. She wasn’t sure how she would have able to get through the last couple of years without Umi’s support.   
  
“Nozomi…” Umi sighed in her sleep.    
  
She wrapped her arms around Umi, holding her close and closed her eyes. “I’m here.” She mumbled, gently rubbing Umi’s back to soothe her. “I’m not going anywhere.”   
  
\-----   
  
_ “She’s getting worse, we can’t do it. I should cancel this whole damn thing.” Maki was pacing frantically back and forth, her hands shaking. Her heart pounded frantically against her chest as she thought back to that morning. She’d been in the music room with Honoka and Umi and Honoka had taken a stumble, hitting her head on the piano bench before Maki or Umi could catch her. She had laughed it off but Maki was worried. “We need to cancel this.” _ _   
_ _   
_ _ “Maki-chan, calm down.” Kotori stepped in front of Maki and grasped her arms. She locked eyes with the girl. “Take a deep breath, okay?” _ _   
_ _   
_ _ “Kotori, we need-” _ _   
_ _   
_ _ “Deep breath.” Kotori reminded Maki softly. She took a deep breath herself, slowly letting it out and waited for Maki to do the same before she continued. “Have you spoken to Honoka about this?” _ _   
_ _   
_ _ Maki nodded in response. “She says she has to do it. She’s doing it for me, Kotori. Because I wrote the song. I can’t let her go through with this.” _ _   
_ _   
_ _ “You know as well as I do that she won’t stop. She won’t back down.” Kotori reasoned quietly. As much as she wanted Honoka to relax she knew it would never happen. It wasn’t the type of person Honoka was. “It’s just like me when it comes to my knee. Don’t think I don’t know that you’re always extra careful around my knees, Maki-chan. But you need to stop worrying.” _ _   
_ _   
_ _ Maki’s lip trembled, tears pricking at her eyes and she hugged Kotori tightly. “It’s gonna be my fault if she ends up in the hospital. I just...I-I can’t do this. I can’t.” _ _   
_ _   
_ _ Kotori leaned back against the wall behind her as she threaded her fingers into red hair. She pressed her lips gently to the crown of Maki’s head. “We can do this, Maki-chan. I promise you nothing will go wrong. If I thought Honoka-chan couldn’t do this I wouldn’t be letting her do it. Neither would Eli-chan.” _ _   
_ _   
_ “Hey.” Kotori jolted violently as hands came to rest lightly on her shoulders. She whirled around and backed away at the same time. She would have tripped in her haste had it not been for strong arms going around her waist.    
  
“It’s just me.” Maki soothed gently, brushing Kotori’s hair from her face. She noticed panic in her girlfriend’s eyes along with a deep set pain. “It’s okay.”   
  
Kotori looked up into bright violet eyes. “S-Sorry.”   
  
Maki frowned, moving her hand to rest on Kotori’s chest. Beneath her palm she felt her girlfriend’s heart beating frantically. “What happened?”   
  
“I was thinking about Honoka-chan.” Kotori admitted honestly, her voice a little shaky. “Heh...who knew my words would be such bad luck. I should never have stopped you from cancelling.”   
  
“Kotori…” Maki murmured, frowning.    
  
“She was my best friend.” Kotori bowed her head, biting her lip. “But how many times did I fail her?” She took a deep breath and raised her eyes again, forcing a smile. “So we’re going to get Eli tomorrow, right? First thing?”   
  
“Yes. Kotori?”   
  
“Hmm?”   
  
“It’s okay to cry, you know.” Maki said gently, resting her hand back on Kotori’s shoulder.    
  
Kotori shook her head. “I hate crying.”   
  
Maki’s lips quirked up just a little bit. “Who knew the most adorable member of our group would be the one who cries the least?”   
  
“I cry, I just...do it alone.” Kotori mumbled in embarrassment. “I prefer it that way.”   
  
Maki sighed softly. “You can cry on me, you idiot.”   
  
“Than you’ll start crying.”   
  
“That’s because I want to cry with you. I hurt when you hurt.” Maki reached down with her spare hand and grasped Kotori’s. “I don’t want you to be alone.”   
  
“Maki-chan doesn’t cry much either.” Kotori pointed out with a slight shrug of her shoulders.    
  
“Are you kidding?” Maki asked in disbelief. “Your nickname for me is crybaby.”   
  
“About Honoka-chan.” Kotori looked up, meeting Maki’s eyes once more before her own darted away again. She felt like if she looked at Maki for too long she really would start crying. “That’s what I mean.”   
  
Maki shook her head. “I cry over her a lot more than you know. I know I didn’t show it but I loved Honoka just as much as any of you.”   
  
“You showed it.” Kotori leaned in and rested her head against Maki’s shoulder. “She knew. Just like you knew how much she adored you, right?”    
  
“Yeah.” Maki’s voice cracked and she let go of Kotori’s hand to wrap her arms around her instead. “Yeah, I knew.”   
  
\-----   
  
**_“_ ** **_Ah! Honoka na yokan kara hajimari, Ah! Hikari o oikakete kita nda yo..”_ ** _   
_ _   
_ _ Hanayo’s heart pounded as the music stopped and gradually the lights that had illuminated them all on the stage started to die down. They had managed to get through their last performance. She looked around at the others, noticing how exhilarated they all looked. Just as happy as she felt. She caught sight of the smile on Honoka’s face just a few seconds before it started to fade.  _ _   
_ _   
_ _ Honoka lifted her hand to her head and started to sway on her feet as the lights dimmed around her. She staggered to the side before she fell at Hanayo’s feet. _ _   
_ _   
_ _ “Honoka-chan!” Hanayo dove to the ground with Honoka, managing to catch her just inches from the floor. Frantically she checked for a pulse but she didn’t find one. Her blood ran cold. “ELI-CHAN, MAKI-CHAN! HELP! HEEELP!” _ _   
_ _   
_ _ Someone fell to their knees hard across from Honoka and Hanayo looked up to see Nico standing there. “SOMEONE CALL A FUCKING AMBULANCE! Keep Eli back!” _ _   
_ _   
_ _ “NO!” Eli screamed in protest as Nozomi and Umi grabbed her arms, keeping her back. “GET OFF ME!” _ _   
_ _   
_ _ Suddenly, Maki was kneeling next to Nico, pulling Honoka away from Hanayo and tearing off the second year’s costume. “Hanayo, breathe into her mouth when I tell you to!” _ _   
_ _   
_ _ “W-Wha…?” Hanayo felt frozen as she looked down at Honoka.  _ _   
_ _   
_ _ “Just DO IT!” Maki demanded loudly, trying to block out the sound of Eli’s frantic yelling. The blonde was sobbing now, she could hear, begging for her to do something. “NOW!” _ _   
_ _   
_ _ Hanayo did as she was told, leaning down. She pinched Honoka’s nose closed and covered the girl’s mouth with her own, breathing into her as tears slid down her cheeks onto Honoka’s face. She repeated the action a few times, alternating with Maki.  _ _   
_ _   
_ _ “It’s no good, Maki.” Nico finally choked out, her cheeks damp with tears. “She’s gone.” _ _   
_ _   
_ _ Hanayo froze then. She couldn’t do anything, not even when Maki yelled at her to continue. She scrambled back as she stared at Honoka’s body. She pulled her knees to her chest and sobbed into them, rocking back and forth as Maki continued CPR by herself. She felt Rin collapse down next to her but as arms went around her she couldn’t do anything but stare at Honoka’s body through teary eyes.  _ _   
_ _   
_ _ It seemed like hours but it was probably only minutes before Maki stopped CPR and collapsed forward, sobbing into Honoka’s chest.  _   
  
“H-Hanayo-san?”   
  
Hanayo was drawn from her daydream by Chika’s voice. She opened her eyes in time to see the cigarette she held loosely in her hand had burnt down to the tip. She cursed loudly as it burnt her fingertips and dropped it onto the balcony.    
  
She turned toward Chika, narrowing her eyes at her. “What the hell do you want?”   
  
Chika swallowed thickly. “Kotori-chan um...sent me to ask if you wanted anything to eat. Um...we’re all going to stay here until tomorrow. Me and Kanan-chan, You-chan and Ruby. I saw you sitting out here and you looked upset so I thought I’d check on you.”   
  
Hanayo clenched her hands into fists.    
  
Chika looked down at the cigarette on the floor. “I didn’t know you smoke.”   
  
“Only when I’m stressed.” Hanayo answered coldly. “Or when I happen to find Maki’s stash.”   
  
“R-Right. Well...I’m sorry I bothered you.” Chika turned to walk back inside only to be stopped by Hanayo’s voice.    
  
“I still hate the fact that you’re here. Honestly, I just want you to drop dead in Honoka-chan’s place.” Hanayo said harshly. “You don’t know what it feels like to have someone die in your arms. To feel them not breathing. No pulse. To have the leader who was so full of life just lying lifeless in your arms. To know that she’s dead and there’s nothing I can do about it.” Tears clung to her lashes as she walked forward toward Chika who was slowly turning to face her. “How can you fucking understand any of us?!”   
  
Chika watched as Hanayo tried to wipe her tears away with no success.    
  
“I hate crying.” Hanayo muttered angrily. “Crying does nothing but here I am crying again. I hated Maki-chan so much until she told me how fucked up she is. The truth is none of this is her fault. It was ALL yours. ALL the choices that you made in Honoka-chan’s body led to this.”   
  
Chika took a shuddering breath, her own chest painfully tight. “I-I know, I’m sorry.”   
  
“Sorry is a pitiful excuse.” Hanayo said coldly despite the tears spilling down her cheeks. “I just want her back. So you better hope to the gods that this succeeds because if it doesn’t it’s only going to hurt all of us even more. Not even Raven, Emily or the stable members of the group could save us from that.”   
  
“I didn’t mean for this to happen, Hanayo-san. I cared about Hono…” Chika had just enough time to noticed Hanayo approaching before something hit her cheek hard. She stumbled to the side, catching herself on the edge of the balcony as her face throbbed. Her eyes watered with pain and she tasted blood in her mouth.    
  
“I don’t want to hear your bullshit.” Hanayo said tearfully as Chika slowly straightened up. “You’re lucky I’m not drunk otherwise I would have thrown you over the balcony.”   
  
“Chika? Chika, are you out here?”   
  
Chika winced at the sound of Kanan’s voice right on the opposite side of the door. She quickly turned her face away as the door slid open and Kanan stepped outside.    
  
Hanayo wiped her tears away and turned to Kanan. “ Do me a favor and keep your girlfriend on a leash. She should mind her own damn business.”   
  
Kanan looked at Chika, noticing blood trickling down her chin from her lip. She growled under her breath and stormed toward Hanayo, grabbing a handful of the girl’s shirt.    
  
“Kanan-chan, leave it.” Chika choked out, walking over to Kanan. She grasped Kanan’s arm, trying to tug her away. “Please. I deserve it.”   
  
“Like hell you do.” Kanan retorted, glaring up at Hanayo.    
  
“Go ahead.” Hanayo said numbly. She hardly cared if Kanan hit her.    
  
Kanan growled and leaned up, standing on her tiptoes, only just noticing how much taller Hanayo was than her.    
  
“KANAN-CHAN, PLEASE STOP!” Chika cried out one more as Kanan shrugged her off. Fortunately for her it seemed the commotion had been noticed as a moment later, You was slipping out onto the balcony, pulling Kanan away. Ruby was there too but she went quickly to Chika’s side.    
  
“Chika-chan!” She exclaimed in worry as she noticed the blood on Chika’s face.    
  
“I-I’m fine, Ruby-chan.” Chika said, patting Ruby’s shoulder. “Let’s go. You-chan…”   
  
“I’ve got her.” You dragged Kanan inside, using every bit of strength she had to get the girl to move.    
  
Hanayo slid down to the balcony floor when they all left and looked down at her bruising hand. Hearing footsteps she looked up to yell at whoever had come back but softened when she saw Rin with Emily behind her.    
  
“Kayo-chin…” Rin muttered, seeing tears in Hanayo’s eyes.    
  
“Don’t say a word, Rin-chan. Just don’t…” Hanayo choked on a sob as Rin knelt down next to her and hugged her as tightly as she could.    
  
Emily excused herself, closing the balcony door behind her and stood guard in front of it to give the two a few minutes.    
  
\------   
  
"So wait, she's on a date?" Eli asked as she watched her sister sit down next to her on the couch. She mumbled a thank you as Arisa handed her a cup of chamomile tea.    
  
Arisa nodded. "They met on the subway. He goes to a school near ours. Don't worry I checked him out. He seems like a sweet guy. Cute too.”   
  
"Hmm?"   
  
"Blonde hair and violet eyes. Tall and lean. Yukiho-chan got a good one."   
  
Eli sighed and sipped at her tea. "Just hope she comes home before nine.”   
  
Arisa smiled and shook her head. "Onee-chan, you shouldn't worry, she's a big girl."   
  
"I-I know that.” Eli frowned and looked down at her lap. “I’m just protective of her. Of both of you. Or I try to be. Anyway I want to meet him soon.”   
  
"His name is Daichi.”   
  
“What’s his surname?” Eli raised an eyebrow.    
  
“Schnee.” Arisa answered, relieved that they were managing to have a normal conversation. She ignored the scent of alcohol on Eli’s breath. “He’s half German, from his father’s side.”   
  
Eli hummed and set the tea down. She was reminded vaguely of her own first date with Honoka. Or Chika, as she now knew. Her stomach coiled, her chest tightening along with it and she took a couple of shaky breaths. “I’m going to um...I’ll be right back.”   
  
She stood up from the couch and went to the kitchen, finding a single bottle of beer in the fridge. She cursed under her breath. She would have to go out shopping. Yukiho couldn’t pick it up for her. She sat down at the table and uncapped the bottle, taking a long drink.    
  
_ Nozomi’s shirt was bunched up in Eli’s hands, her back against the wall. The tears that slid down her cheeks matched Eli’s but Eli didn’t even seem to notice that. She was too furious.  _ _   
_ _   
_ _ Nozomi vaguely noticed that she didn’t really feel much as Eli’s fist struck her cheek, jolting her head to the side. The ache in her chest was much worse than anything Eli could do to her.  _ _   
_ _   
_ _ “WHY THE HELL DID YOU HOLD ME BACK?!” Eli yelled, pulling Nozomi away from the wall only to shove her back against it. “YOU ALWAYS DO THAT! DAMN YOU!” _ _   
_ _   
_ _ “Eli, stop!” Umi pleaded tearfully, glancing toward the door of the room they’d been allowed to wait in. “Please, stop! Kotori, make her stop!” _ _   
_ _   
_ _ Kotori was sobbing into Maki’s lap on the small couch that was in the room and she didn’t so much as look up.  _ _   
_ _   
_ _ Rin, Hanayo and Nico weren’t there. Hanayo had run off after they’d found out the news and Rin and Nico had gone after her.  _ _   
_ _   
_ _ Nozomi gritted her teeth. “Shut up!” _ _   
_ _   
_ _ Eli slammed Nozomi to the wall once again as the other girl tried to pull away. “OR WHAT?! This is ALL your fault, Nozomi!” _ _   
_ _   
_ _ Nozomi grabbed Eli’s hand and used her free hand to shove the blonde away. Eli stumbled to the floor. “I KNOW THAT! YOU DON’T HAVE TO RUB IT IN!” _ _   
_ _   
_ _ “I’ll never forgive you!” Eli exclaimed, her voice thick with emotion. “I HATE you.” _ _   
_ _   
_ _ “You’re not the only one.” Nozomi growled before she turned and walked out of the room.  _ _   
_ _   
_ _ Umi followed hurriedly, trying to stem her tears. Furious, Eli slammed her fist down onto the floor.  _ _   
_ _   
_ Caught up in her own thoughts, Eli didn’t hear the knock at the door, nor did she hear Arisa talking to someone before the voices got closer.    
  
“I said you couldn’t go in there!” Arisa exclaimed in annoyance, causing Eli to look up.  She felt an icy chill go down her spine as she saw Nico push her way into the kitchen, Kotori and Maki following behind her.    
  
“What are you doing here?” Eli asked hoarsely, taking another drink of the beer in her hand.    
  
Arisa positioned herself between Nico and Eli, glaring angrily. “Leave us alone! I tried to stop them, Onee-chan.”   
  
“It’s fine, Arisa.” Eli set down her beer and stared at the three girls for a moment. It had been years since she’d seen them. She noticed Kotori gripping Maki’s hand and scoffed slightly. “You two are still together then.”   
  
“Obviously.” Kotori said, glaring at Eli.    
  
Eli got to her feet and paced toward Maki. Maki cringed and closed her eyes, waiting for impact but it didn’t come. She opened her eyes in time to see Nico in front of her, pushing Eli back.    
  
“Calm your drunk ass down.” Nico warned seriously. “This wasn’t Maki’s idea, okay?”   
  
Kotori’s eyes widened in surprise as she recalled Nico’s warning about letting Maki take a hit. She couldn’t help but wonder what had changed.    
  
“Don’t get the wrong idea, I just don’t want to start a fucking brawl.” Nico pointed to the seat across the room. “Sit down, Eli.”   
  
“Screw you, Nico.” Eli countered angrily. “So what the hell do you want? Talk fast or I’m throwing you out on your ass.”   
  
Nico heard the front door open and close behind her but she ignored it. She didn’t care who it was. “Fine. Chika thinks she has a plan to save Honoka and she needs to bring us all together to do it or something. She needs to fix what she broke, she said. The others are back at Kotori’s apartment, Chika and her friends too. We just need you now.”   
  
Maki watched Eli closely. Surprising the blonde didn’t show any reaction.    
  
“Sure, let me get my jacket and we can go.”   
  
“Wait, what?” Kotori’s eyes widened at the response. “We just told you we’re working with Takami Chika and you just want to come with us. Are you...are you serious?”   
  
“Ah, you really don’t want to do that.” Another voice chimed in from the doorway and the group looked over to see Yukiho walk into the room. “And I really think you should get the hell out of my apartment.”   
  
“Your apartment?” Maki echoed in surprise, glancing between Yukiho and Eli. She watched as Yukiho crossed the room to Eli, nudging her back toward her chair. “So you two...live together?”   
  
“Got a problem with that?” Yukiho narrowed her eyes angrily.    
  
“Well...no.” Maki glanced at Kotori and Nico with a grimace. “It’s just...you know, kind of weird. For her to be living with well...you. If I was her I wouldn’t really want to see you. No offence.”   
  
“Offence taken.” Eli said angrily, narrowing her eyes. “What’s the problem?”   
  
Nico shrugged and looked toward Kotori and Maki. “Guess she’s not as bad as we thought she’d be?”   
  
Yukiho put two and two together and her face turned red. “She’s not a predator. Her sister lives here too, you know!”   
  
Nico shrugged her shoulders. “That’s what seperate rooms are for. Besides, you could have been a rebound. Besides, it’s not really what I meant. We’re just surprised that she seems so...okay. That’s all.”   
  
“Get out of my goddamn apartment before I throw you out. ALL of you. And don’t come near her again!” Yukiho stepped forward, ready to physically lead them out if she had to. “You don’t know shit about her.”   
  
“I-I do.” Maki blurted out, causing Yukiho to pause. “She’s always calling me...though she’s always drunk too. Telling me about how bad it was in Russia. Crying over Honoka…”   
  
Eli looked away. She had cut ties with Maki when she’d returned to Japan. She got to her feet. “It’s fine, Yukiho. I’m going with them. So are you going to take me to this... _ Chika _ or am I going to have to find her myself?”   
  
Kotori swallowed thickly. “Eli, we...we won’t let you hurt her. You need to know that before you go.”   
  
“I’d like to see you try to stop me. She took away the only person I’ve ever been in love with. She  _ killed _ her. What do you want me to do?” Eli stopped next to Yukiho, glaring at them.    
  
“We want you to help us save Honoka.” Maki said honestly. “You’re not the only one of us who hates what she did, Eli. We all do. We need your help.”   
  
“I told you, I’m coming.” Eli said firmly. She didn’t know what they were talking about but she would do anything to get Honoka back. And even if she couldn’t, she would finally get to meet Chika.    
  
Yukiho straightened up. “She can go but I’m coming too.”   
  
“No, you’re not.” Maki shook her head hurriedly. “Absolutely not. I’m sorry, Yukiho. But you can’t.”   
  
Yukiho frowned. “Honoka is my SISTER! I don’t give a crap that I’m not part of your precious group, I’m coming!”   
  
“No, I…”   
  
“I’m COMING!” Yukiho growled angrily. “You come into my apartment, traumatize Arisa-chan and force a clearly distressed girl to her feet even though she’s  _ clearly _ not okay despite what you think and you tell me I can’t come?! Eli is  _ not _ okay and I’m watching out for her so I’m COMING.”   
  
“You’re not.” Maki argued once more, her voice rising in volume. “I’m serious, Yukiho. We need Umi calm and she’s  _ not _ going to be calm with you there. You’re too much of a reminder of Honoka.”   
  
“I can deal with Umi-san. You think I haven’t been through this already?” Yukiho asked skeptically. “Eli had been here for two damn months and who do you think has been taking care of her when she’s had anxiety attacks, when she’s gotten so angry she’s almost torn a damn room apart?!”   
  
“I can deal with Eli.” Nico crossed her arms in front of her chest.   
  
“I’m going to wait outside.” Eli muttered, growing impatient. She left the room and Arisa hurried after her.   
  
Yukiho watched Eli and Arisa go before she turned back to Nico. “I don’t just mean deal with her as in restrain her, you need to be there for her! You seriously think she’s okay? Look at the scars on her wrists. Ask her about the time I caught her taking so many damn pills I had to make her throw up because she wouldn’t go to a fucking hospital! She needs someone there who cares about her  _ now _ , not someone who only cares about who she used to be. I’m going with you, okay?!”   
  
“Yukiho…”   
  
“I’M GOING WITH YOU!” Yukiho clenched her hands into fists. “Eli needs support, she needs me, not someone who’s going to ignore her and let her  _ die _ ! She’s my family now, do you understand? Her and Arisa are part of my family and she’s the  _ only _ person who understands how I feel. I won’t lose her, I  _ refuse to _ lose her!”   
  
“Just let her, Maki-chan.” Kotori said gently. She turned toward Yukiho and took a small step toward her. “It’s...nice to see you again, Yukiho-chan. For what it’s worth, I think Honoka would be grateful that you’re helping Eli-chan. She really loved her. Both of you.”   
  
Yukiho managed a small smile at that. “Thank you, Kotori-san. Um...Arisa-chan has to come too.”   
  
“ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!” Nico exploded in irritation. “Raven’s car is pretty big but not big enough for Arisa too!”   
  
“Who?” Yukiho frowned. “It’s fine, she can sit on my lap or something.”   
  
“He’s training to be a damn cop, he’s not going to let you do that!”   
  
Yukiho sighed. “So I’ll say please?”   
  
Kotori grimaced. “Yeah, flirting isn’t going to work. He’s with Hanayo-chan and he pretty much only has eyes for her. He won’t even realize you’re flirting with him.”   
  
Yukiho rolled her eyes and moved past them. “I’ll figure it out.”   
  
TBC.    



	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter of ANITW, hope you guys enjoy!
> 
> Warning(s): Suggested suicide attempt, suggest self-injury, cheating, a whole lot of violence and a lot of angst to boot.

“Umi-chan?” Nozomi knocked lightly on the bathroom door, her ear pressed against it. “It’s just me. Are you going to come out? You’ve been in there for over an hour.”  
  
Umi didn’t reply and Nozomi glanced over at a worried looking Rin and Hanayo. Emily was standing nearby too though she was obviously trying not to look like she was imposing on the situation. She was standing a bit behind Rin.   
  
Rin anxiously wrung her hands together. “I tried earlier but she won’t answer me.”  
  
Nozomi glanced over Rin’s shoulder at Emily. “You’re athletic, right? Do you think you could kick this down?” She asked in English.   
  
Emily’s eyes widened in response. “S-Seriously?”  
  
Rin glanced at her girlfriend, silently shaking her head to let her know Nozomi wasn’t being serious. Or she hoped she wasn’t at least.   
  
Nozomi sighed and turned back to the door. She touched it with the palm of her hand and pressed her forehead against it. “Umi-chan, you’re scaring me. Can you just answer me, please? I need to know you’re okay.”  
  
Hanayo frowned at the way Nozomi’s voice cracked mid-sentence. Frustrated that they were getting nowhere and a little concerned for Umi, she moved forward and nudged Nozomi out of the way. “Umi, open the door or I’m going to kick it down.” She waited for a moment but when Umi didn’t answer she braced herself, turning to the side slightly. “Fine, get back. 3...2…” She didn’t reach one before the door unlocked and finally slid open, just by an inch.   
  
Hanayo quickly yanked open the door in case Umi tried to close it again however the sudden movement only caused Umi to let out a cry of alarm and scramble back.   
  
Nozomi frowned at Hanayo and moved past her, closing the door again before she turned to Umi. Her girlfriend had moved to sit on the floor against the bathtub, her knees pulled to her chest. “What’s wrong, Umi-chan?”  
  
Umi silently shook her head.   
  
Nozomi stepped forward and crouched in front of Umi, placing a hand lightly on her head. “Come on, Umi-chan. What’s worrying you? I can tell when you’re stressed.”  
  
Umi hesitated before she answered. “I-I’m scared of Eli. She hurt you and you don’t deserve it. I don’t want her to hurt you again.”  
  
Nozomi managed a small smile at that. If she was honest, she didn’t mind what Eli did to her. In a way she felt like she deserved everything the blonde could throw at her. “It’s okay, Umi-chan. You can patch me up like l-” She cut herself off, her voice catching as she recalled the last time Umi had had to patch her up after Eli had hit her. Right after Honoka had died. Umi had been tearful the entire time but she’d forced herself to stay fairly composed until after she’d taken care of Nozomi. “I’m sorry.”  
  
 _“Umi-chan.”_ _Nozomi’s voice was slightly nasally as she spoke, thanks to the fact that Umi had forced her to pinch her nose just above her nostrils. She looked up, finding Umi pulling out more tissues to wipe off her face. “I’m fine, you…_ ”  
  
 _“Don’t look up at me, you’re not meant to tilt your head back.” Umi gently pressed against the back of Nozomi’s head to urge her head down again._ _  
_ _  
_ _Nozomi sighed and did as she was asked. As Umi knelt in front of her and continued to wipe blood from her face, she noticed tears in her eyes and the tremble to her hand. As much as she wanted to stop what Umi was doing and pull her into her arms it seemed that doing something productive was working to keep Umi calm._ _  
_ _  
_ _Finally Umi finished wiping the blood away and looked up, gently taking Nozomi’s hand to draw it away from her nose. “The bleeding has stopped but it’s still swollen. We should get some ice f-for that...later.”_ _  
_ _  
_ _“Umi-chan…” Nozomi whispered as Umi’s features crumbled in grief._ _  
_ _  
_ _Umi surged to her feet and wrapped her arms around Nozomi’s shoulders, accidentally knocking her backwards on the bed. She didn’t seem to notice, too busy sobbing into her girlfriend’s neck._ _  
_ _  
_“I don’t want you to get hurt.” Umi repeated herself, her voice thick with emotion. “I’m not going to let her touch you. I won’t.”  
  
Nozomi gently cupped Umi’s face in her hand. “Don’t defend me, Umi-chan. I deserve it. Besides, I don’t want you to get hurt. If Eli touches you I really will end up fighting her. I don’t care what she does to me.”  
  
“ _I_ care about that!” Umi insisted loudly, reaching up to lightly grip Nozomi’s wrist. “You’re my girlfriend, I don’t want you to get hurt!”  
  
“Eli hates me.” Nozomi pointed out softly, brushing her fingers against Umi’s cheek. “I don’t imagine that’s changed.”  
  
Umi sighed and gently paused Nozomi’s hand away before she kissed her softly. “I’m still not going to let her touch you.”  
  
\------  
  
Chika wisely stayed back when Eli reached the apartment. With everyone else she’d been comfortable enough to approach them but with Eli she couldn’t. She noticed Yukiho was there too and suddenly felt nauseous with guilt.   
  
“Stay behind me.” Kanan warned softly as Muse greeted Eli. She glanced to You who was standing at Chika’s side, gripping her wrist. They were both anxious as to what Eli would do if she saw Chika. 

  
Finally icy blue eyes rested on them and Eli herself moved forward. She was staring right past Kanan though. “Takami Chika.”   
  
“E-Eli-se…” Chika’s eyes widened slightly at the accidental slip. “I-I mean Eli-chan.”   
  
Eli growled low in her throat and lurched toward Chika, her arm outstretched.    
  
“HEY!” Kanan blocked Eli’s way, shoving her back with her hands on her shoulders. “If you want to get through her you’ll have to go through m-” She was cut off, wincing as a blow to the face knocked her sideways. Looking up she saw You put herself between Eli and Chika before someone else stepped into Eli’s path.    
  
“STOP!” Nozomi held up her hands to Eli, causing her to pause in surprise. “I won’t let you touch her, Eli. This isn’t her fault, it’s mine. I failed both of them so…” She gasped as Eli suddenly grabbed the front of her shirt and walked her quickly backwards, pushing her against the wall. The grip on her collar was tight and Nozomi gasped for air.    
  
“Eli.” Nozomi grasped at Eli’s arm, trying to pull her hand away as she wheezed for breath. “Elichi.”   
  
Something familiar flickered briefly in Eli’s eyes but it quickly faded, her grip only tightening.    
  
“GET OFF HER!” Suddenly Eli was thrown to the side as Umi lunged at her. The two were thrown to the floor and Eli scrambled to get the upper hand. It didn’t take more than a moment for her to flip their positions so she was straddling Umi. She raised her fist only to have it grabbed suddenly. She looked up in time to see a fist flying toward her, knocking her off Umi once more. Pain shot through her head but she growled and got to her feet, rushing back to Nozomi and responding with a punch of her own.    
  
“NOZOMI!” Umi cried out loudly as Nozomi tackled Eli to the floor. “STOP IT!”   
  
Kanan growled under her breath and went to Nozomi, grabbing her around the waist. She hauled her off of Eli and as Eli got up, You pushed her back toward Yukiho would quickly grabbed her. Arisa too, grabbed onto one of Eli’s arms.    
  
Hanayo looked around, wondering where her boyfriend had gone. As a police officer in training he could have really helped the situation but he hadn’t come upstairs with Eli, Yukiho and the others.    
  
“Don’t you ever touch Umi-chan again!” Nozomi struggled against Kanan’s hold but the girl was a lot stronger than her. Her eye throbbed where Eli had punched her.    
  
“Screw you!” Eli retorted angrily, her lip glistening with blood. “WHY ARE YOU EVEN HERE?!”   
  
“I’m here because of the same girl that dragged us into this whole damn mess so shut the hell up and listen, Eli!” Nozomi slowly relaxed, figuring Kanan would let go soon enough. “Chika, talk. Now.”   
  
“N-Nozomi…” Umi walked over on shaky legs and wrapped her arms around Nozomi. She let her chin rest on Nozomi’s shoulder, her mouth close to the girl’s ear. “Control it. It’s okay.”   
  
Nozomi hugged Umi back, closing her eyes for a moment.    
  
Hanayo sighed. “I’m going to find Raven. Too much stress. I’ll be back later.”   
  
“Ah, me too!” Emily said hurriedly, shooting an apologetic look toward Rin who shrugged her shoulders with a small smile. “Wait for me.”   
  
Nozomi turned to glare at Chika as Hanayo and Emily left. “Chika!”   
  
“I-I uh...want to try to fix what I did.” Chika said quickly, turning to Eli. “I want to try to bring Honoka-chan back if I can by um...I-I don’t know, I just want to make things right. I think…”   
  
“This is all your damn fault.” Eli growled angrily. “I don’t care what Nozomi says, I know the truth. You didn’t like me from the beginning and you didn’t even  _ try _ to hide it. You should have told me what was going on.”   
  
“I-I didn’t hate you!” Chika exclaimed hurriedly. “I-I didn’t understand you and I’d never had a relationship like you had with Honoka before. Before and after you got together. She looked up to you so much and I know she loved you but...I thought that Umi-chan should be with her. I thought she’d be better for her.”   
  
“Bullshit!” Yukiho exclaimed loudly. She glanced at Umi. “No offence, Umi-san. But Eli loved my sister more than anyone. She would have done anything for her.”   
  
Eli had looked hurt by Chika’s comment but seemed to regain her confidence thanks to Yukiho. “She’s right. I was the right person for her and...she was the only person for me.”   
  
“I know that!” Chika said before anyone else could get the wrong idea. “I was projecting my own feelings onto Honoka. I was scared of what I felt for someone who reminded me...of you. I know that now. Honoka-chan loved you, Eli-chan. I don’t think she ever wanted to be with anyone else.”   
  
Eli clenched her jaw, her eyes stinging with tears. “You took her from me.” She looked to Nozomi, an accusing look in her eyes. “You both did.”   
  
Kanan cleared her throat, touching Chika’s arm. “Chika, are you um...talking about me?”   
  
Eli narrowed her eyes at Kanan. “How am I similar to her?”   
  
“Honoka-chan looked up to you just like I look up to Kanan-chan.” Chika explained quietly, her gaze shifting back to Eli. “Honoka-chan trusted you more than anyone, just like I trust Kanan-chan. Even when we switched bodies, Honoka-chan confided in Kanan-chan because she trusted her. You’re both protective and honest with your feelings. More honest than I was.”   
  
Chika looked toward Kanan apologetically but the girl merely stared at her with a soft look in her eyes.    
  
“So if we’re so similar, let me ask you something, Kanan.” Eli spoke softly, taking a step forward. She noticed that Yukiho and Arisa refused to let go of her completely. “How would you feel if someone got your girlfriend killed? How would you feel in my position?”   
  
“If I lost Chika, I’d probably...want to die.” Kanan answered honestly, trying to ignore the way her friends glanced at her.    
  
Eli raised an eyebrow. “Maybe we are similar. So what am I doing here anyway? If you’re not going to let me do what I want to... _ her _ .”   
  
Chika swallowed apprehensively. “I was trying to bring all of Muse back together.”   
  
“There’s no Muse without Honoka.” Eli said automatically, shaking her head.    
  
“That’s not true.” Nozomi piped up suddenly, drawing Eli’s attention back to her. “Honoka-chan told me that...Muse is in all of us. It’s always going to be a part of us, whether she’s with us or not. Honoka-chan is always going to be with us.”   
  
Umi broke away from Nozomi and moved toward Eli, coming to a stop in front of her. She took her phone from her pocket and went through it until she could open a video. “Here. Watch this.”   
  
Eli took the phone and looked down at the screen. Chika was talking about something, about a performance of some kind, Eli vaguely made out. But it wasn’t Chika. Everything from her mannerisms to the way her hair was tied up and the look in her eyes was Honoka.    
  
\-----   
  
Maki’s fingers twitched as she looked down at her last remaining pack of cigarettes in the drawer. Bringing Eli back to the house and everything that had come after that had been beyond stressful and she felt like she needed to relieve her tension.    
  
A knock sounded at the door and Maki looked up, quickly closing the drawer of her desk. “Come in.”   
  
The door opened and Kotori stepped into the room. She smiled tentatively at Maki and closed the door behind her. “Can I come in?”   
  
“O-Of course.” Maki said quickly, relieved to see Kotori there. She watched as her girlfriend walked toward her, skirting around the desk. Maki gasped softly as Kotor pushed her chair. “What…?” She relaxed when Kotori sat sideways on her lap, resting her head lightly against her shoulder. “Oh.”   
  
“I’m tired, Maki-chan.” Kotori mumbled, closing her eyes. She basked in the warmth that surrounded her as Maki’s arms went around her. “I just wanted a break from all of that.”   
  
“Me too.” Maki mumbled, holding Kotori close to her. “I think that’s the second most scariest thing I’ve ever done. Eli looked like she wanted to murder me.”   
  
“Well you just know too much about her.” Kotori said softly. She opened her eyes and tilted her head back, looking up at Maki. “I’m really glad you’re with me, Maki-chan. I don’t know how I would do any of this without you.”    
  
Maki lifted her hand, lightly threading her fingers into Kotori’s hair. “You’re my remedy, Kotori. You’re what keeps me going.”   
  
Kotori’s brow furrowed slightly. “You smoked again, didn’t you?”   
  
Maki’s eyes widened in surprise. “H-How did you…?”   
  
“Because you need to learn to wash your breath, idiot.” Kotori answered with a roll of her eyes. She didn’t make any effort to pull away despite the hint of irritation in her voice.    
  
“I-I’m trying, it’s just with all of this…” Maki shook her head, gritting her teeth.    
  
“I know, I...wanted a drink.” Kotori admitted sheepishly. “I had a couple of glasses.”   
  
“Kotori!”   
  
“I’m sorry, I was stressed after thinking about Honoka-chan.” Kotori sighed and bowed her head. After a moment she managed a small laugh though. “We’re a mess, huh?”   
  
Maki swallowed anxiously. “I don’t know. M-Maybe.”   
  
“Not us.” Kotori said quickly, realizing Maki was getting the wrong idea. “We’re fine but I just mean...we’re both struggling separately.”   
  
Maki breathed a sigh of relief. “R-Right, of course. You’re right, we are. Maybe if we lean on each other it won’t be so much of a struggle?”   
  
“Yeah.” Kotori let her forehead rest gently against Maki’s. “We’re stronger together than we are apart.”   
  
Maki smiled softly. “We are.” She whispered. She couldn’t resist the urge to press a gentle kiss to Kotori’s lips. “We’re going to figure this out, okay? I just need to take a minute to think of what to do next.”   
  
“ _ We _ need to take a minute.” Kotori disagreed gently. She gently brushed her hand over Maki’s soft red hair. “We’re in this together.” She didn’t give Maki time to reflect on that before she continued. “I think we should talk to Nozomi-chan. She knows more about this spiritual stuff than either of us. If anyone knows what to do it’ll be her.”   
  
Maki nodded in response. “Let’s just stay here for a few minutes, okay? I just want to sit with you for a while.”   
  
Kotori hummed in response and leaned back into Maki, closing her eyes. “What do you think’s going to happen? If we manage to fix this?”   
  
“I don't know.” Maki said honestly. “Whatever happens though, we’re going to be together. Chika said so. We’re safe and if Honoka comes back she’ll be with Eli still...and Eli will be happier. I’m just not sure about Nozomi and Umi. Didn’t they only get together after Chika messed up by kissing Umi?”   
  
Kotori sighed and nodded her head. Umi had told her what had happened. That she’d grown closer to Nozomi after that and the two had built their relationship up. “I wish we could do something to help them but I know if it’s a choice between this and having Honoka-chan back, they’ll choose to help Honoka-chan. We all would.”   
  
Maki nodded in agreement though if she was honest she couldn’t see any way that she would ever be without Kotori. She was sure that even if things hadn’t played out the way they had the two of them would still be together. “They’ll figure something out, I’m sure. If they’re meant to be together they will be. They’ll find a way.”   
  
“I hope so. I want Umi-chan to be happy too.” Kotori whispered honestly. Her friends had all been so broken after Honoka’s death, she just wanted some kind of happiness for all of them. She gently brushed her thumb over Maki’s cheek. “This is going to make you happy too, right? I don’t want you to be so stressed all of the time.”   
  
Maki nodded and turned her head, lightly kissing Kotori’s palm. “I will be happy, I promise.”   
  
\------   
  
“Sit down.” Yukiho instructed, pressing against Eli’s shoulder to encourage her to sit down on the edge of the bathtub. “You’re such an idiot, you know that?”   
  
Eli sighed heavily and shrugged her shoulders. Her head was bowed but she noticed Yukiho walk away from her. She heard fumbling for a moment before the girl returned to her, kneeling down in front of her. Eli flinched as aqua blue eyes met her own.    
  
“Guess you should know better than to mess with Nozomi’s girl.” Yukiho said lightly as she pressed a damp cloth to Eli’s lip. It struck her that Eli didn’t flinch like she had a moment ago.    
  
“She should have known better than to think I’d be fine with her messing with mine.” Eli mumbled as best she could with the cloth pressed to her mouth. She let out another sigh. “What do you think about what they’re saying?”   
  
“I think they’re crazy.” Yukiho said honestly. “I don’t know why you believe them.”   
  
“I want to be able to do something to get Honoka back.” Eli murmured honestly. “I want to believe what they’re saying. If there’s hope that I can change all of this, I’m going to take it.”   
  
Yukiho sighed and nodded her head. She wished she could believe what they were saying too but it sounded far too crazy for her to believe in it. She took the cloth away and examined Eli’s lip for a moment before she looked up to meet the girl’s eyes. “You’re giving me that look again.”   
  
“What look?”   
  
“The ‘she’s Honoka’s sister so I’m going to stare at her for a while and think of my dead girlfriend’ look.” Yukiho replied, raising an eyebrow. “I’m not Honoka. Stop looking at me like I’m her.”   
  
“Sorry.” Eli lowered her head, her cheeks flushing slightly with embarrassment. “I know you’re not, I just...look at you and you remind me of her, that’s all. You look more like her now that your hair is longer.”   
  
Yukiho frowned at the observation. “I’m nothing like her though. I always thought of her as being lazy and immature. I always thought that she needed to grow up. I try not to be like her.”   
  
“You didn’t see the side of her we did.” Eli looked up, meeting Yukiho’s eyes once more. She reached up, gently stroking Yukiho’s hair. “You can be pretty childish sometimes anyway.”   
  
“Boyfriend. I have a boyfriend.” Yukiho reminded Eli anxiously, taking note of how soft Eli’s stare was. “Come on, come back to me Eli-san. Stop daydreaming!”   
  
“What do you think I’m gonna do? Kiss you?” Eli let her hand fall down, brushing Yukiho’s shoulder as it fell. “Your eye color isn’t the same.”   
  
Yukiho blinked. “What?”   
  
“Honoka had sky blue eyes. Yours are like...the color of the sea.” Eli explained quietly. She bit her lip, her shoulders slumped. “I’m not going to do anything to you, Yukiho. I won’t make a move, I promise. I don’t even when I’m drunk, do I?”   
  
Yukiho silently shook her head. Eli made a fair point, she supposed. She’d never really made a move but there had been one incident where Eli had drunkenly pecked her on the lips before dozing off. Obviously assuming she was Honoka in her drunken state.    
  
“I miss Honoka.” Eli mumbled, tears prickling at her eyes. “I just want to go out there and kill that damn Chika girl for what she’s done. I want her to feel all of the pain I’ve felt. That you and Kotori and Umi have felt. I don’t know how Nozomi can defend her again, it’s like she doesn’t even give a damn about Honoka.”   
  
Yukiho shook her head. “Maybe she just wants Honoka back as desperately as you do. We all want her back. I would do anything to get her back.”   
  
“Me too.” Eli reached up, swiping roughly at her teary eyes. “I just want to talk to her again. I needed more time with her. We deserved more time and  _ she _ took it from us!”   
  
Yukiho moved to perch on the edge of the tub next to Eli, wrapping her arms tightly around her. “I know, I know. Just calm down, you can do this, Eli. You just need to try to stay calm. I know how much you hate her, trust me. I hate her too. You don’t know what it took for me not to join you when you tried to get to her.”   
  
A knock at the door, startled her and she looked up in time to see it slide open. Arisa appeared at the door, a sheepish smile on her face. “Um...I was just coming to make sure you were okay. Is Onee-chan okay?”   
  
“She’s fine.” Yukiho said, deciding not to release Eli just yet. The blonde seemed too upset to her. “I’m going to stay with her a while, she just needs some time to...vent and I don’t want her to be on her own.”   
  
Arisa flashed a smile at that. “You’re more of a worried wife than a sister, Yukiho-chan.”   
  
Yukiho’s eyes widened. “A-ARISA-CHAN!”   
  
“I’m just saying, my sister could do a lot worse.” Arisa teased playfully. “It’s too bad you have a boyfriend now. I don’t think she’ll ever find someone who takes as much care of her as you do.”   
  
“Arisa-chan.” Yukiho’s voice lowered, her cheeks red with embarrassment. “You have to be physically attracted to someone to be in a relationship with them, you know?”   
  
Arisa gave a slight laugh at how serious Yukiho was being.    
  
“Besides.” Yukiho continued, still absently rubbing Eli’s back. She hadn’t realized that Eli had stopped sniffling and was listening intently. “I don’t want to be my own sister’s replacement. “But I’ve grown to care more about her than I thought I would. A-Anyway, I have Dai-kun.”   
  
“Oh, going by pet names now? What does he call you?!” Arisa asked excitedly.    
  
“Well...Yuki-chan.” Yukiho answered embarrassedly. “He’s not like most guys. Most guys would rather ignore the honorifics. And he says boku, not ore.”   
  
“Actually.” Arisa smirked suddenly, realizing something. “Didn’t you once tell me that Daichi-kun was like, a boy version of my Onee-chan…”   
  
“Arisa, shut up!” Yukiho watched as Arisa wandered closer, no doubt to tease her further. “Or do you want me to bring up the crush you had on Umi-san?”   
  
Arisa blushed brightly at the reminder. “W-Wha…? Why would you bring that up?!”   
  
Yukiho chuckled and looked down at Eli in her arms. She wasn’t surprised to see Eli was asleep. She knew the blonde hadn’t slept much the previous night. “I like both of them. But maybe not in that way. I feel like I’m...just emotionally attracted to Eli-san. Maybe because we both lost Onee-chan and it almost destroyed both of us. Maybe I see her as being a connection to Honoka, like I am for her. If what I feel for her could be called...attraction, I’ll keep it to myself. For now I just want you and Eli-san to be safe and stable. I care about you two so much.”   
  
Arisa moved forward until she was standing right in front of Yukiho. “Yukiho-chan, don’t be like this. I know you have a guardian complex but you don’t always have to take care of us. I’m fine with it if you pursue her, I trust you to be gentle with her.”   
  
Yukiho’s lower lip trembled and she shook her head. She reached out her other arm. “Just come here, please.”   
  
Arisa moved into Yukiho’s arms, hugging her tightly while trying not to nudge her sleeping sister. “I care about you a lot too. You and Onee-chan.”   
  
Yukiho took a moment to compose herself before she spoke up, teasingly though her voice was filled with emotion. “So what about Umi-san?”   
  
Arisa laughed in response and pulled away. “Shut up, Yukiho-chan. She loves Nozomi-san and as much as I hate to admit it, Umi-san needs someone like her. But you’re the only person Onee-chan is comfortable with. And I’ll let you know...she was jealous of Daichi-kun at first. Though it’s hard to tell when she’s drunk.”   
  
Yukiho blushed and shook her head. “She would just see Honoka when she looks at me. She does it all of the time. I can’t blame her, I guess. But it’s annoying. I want her to see me for who I really am, not just a reminder.”   
  
Arisa lightly patted Yukiho’s shoulder. “It’s not like that. She reminds you of Honoka-san too, doesn’t she?”   
  
Yukiho sighed. “I need to text Dai-kun. Can you take care of her for a while? Make sure she doesn’t go out and drink.  She’ll probably hurt herse-” She winced as Arisa automatically cringed and adjusted the long sleeves of the shirt she was wearing. “I mean...I don’t want her to be alone. I’m sorry.”    
  
Carefully, Yukiho shook Eli awake and mentioned that she needed to go out for a while. Eli mumbled her agreement and Yukiho got up, watching Arisa move to sit next to Eli.    
  
“Do you want to sleep for a while, Onee-chan?” Arisa asked softly, placing her hand on Eli’s shoulder. “Umi-san says we might be able to use Maki-san’s office for some privacy.”   
  
“Yeah.” Eli mumbled, rubbing her eyes.    
  
Yukiho paused, watching in the doorway as Eli drew Arisa close to hug her. Her heart wrenched in her chest. She couldn’t imagine losing either of them.    
  
Eli closed her eyes, not noticing Yukiho. “I’m sorry I’m such a screw up. I’m hurting Yukiho too, huh?”   
  
Arisa sighed. “It’s okay, let’s just go and sleep, okay?”   
  
Yukiho quickly left the room to text Daichi.   
  
\-----   
  
“Stay still.” Umi murmured as she lifted the ice pack to Nozomi’s face. She gently pressed it to the red area around her eye, noticing it was swelling a little. “I was trying to keep this from happening.”   
  
“I’m sorry.” Nozomi was doing her utmost to ignore their position. She was sitting on the edge of the bed, Umi lightly straddling her legs as she dabbed at her eye with ice. Nozomi did her best to ignore the mental images in her head. “I just lost it when she hit you. I hate seeing anyone hurt you.”Umi stayed completely focused, even when Nozomi’s hands moved to her hips. She didn’t falter in what she was doing until Nozomi drew away from the ice pack and leaned up, pressing her lips to the warm skin of Umi’s throat.    
  
Umi shuddered and dropped the ice pack.    
  
“It always happens after I get hit, huh? You taking care of me, me wanting your warmth.” Nozomi whispered before she leaned close to Umi’s pulse point. She kissed at her neck, occasionally nipping. “God, I miss your touch. Physical treatment usually makes me feel better, Umi-chan.”   
  
Umi let out a soft sigh, tilting her head back. She gasped softly as Nozomi sucked at her neck, obviously aiming to leave her mark there. She bit her lip. “Nozomi, you know I get…”   
  
“I know.” Nozomi said softly as Umi trailed off. “I want it, Umi-chan. I want you to devour me. Come on.” She scraped her teeth against Umi’s neck, earning herself a soft gasp. Barely a second later she felt hands push her roughly onto her back. Her eyes flitted up and she locked eyes with Umi’s, noticing they were darker than usual. She watched as Umi pulled her hair from the ponytail she liked to tie it up in.    
  
Umi leaned down and planted an open mouthed kiss on Nozomi’s neck. “I’m going to ravage you senseless, Nozomi.”   
  
Nozomi squirmed underneath Umi, her hands going to the girl’s hips once more. “Please, just take me, Umi.”   
  
She felt Umi smirk against her skin before the girl began to suck none too gently at her neck, a hand snaking it’s way under her shirt.    
  
\-----   
  
“I’m going to get some air.” Nico announced as she stood up from her seat. The seven people that remained sitting in the living room were annoying her. Ruby and You were staring at each other like they’d start making out at any second. Maki and Kotori were huddled together, whispering and Raven and Rin were playing some kind of game on their phones while Emily rooted for Rin to win. It was downright irritating.    
  
She went through to Maki’s bedroom, having seen Hanayo go in there a while ago. Noticing the balcony door open, she walked toward it and stepped outside. She was only a little bit surprised to see Hanayo standing at the balcony, smoking. “You still doing that? You told me you quit right after that bitch you dated.”   
  
“Blame Maki-chan. She had to have a pack and get me back into the habit.” Hanayo answered, glancing over at Nico.    
  
“Well it’s in Maki’s personality to smoke like a chimney.” Nico shrugged her shoulders. “But you…”   
  
“But me what, Nico?” Hanayo raised an eyebrow. “I’m not fifteen.”   
  
Nico sighed and walked closer to the balcony railings. “So this is going to be a secret between us again, huh?”   
  
Hanayo answered with a shrug. “I’m still surprised you don’t drink or smoke, Nico-chan.”   
  
“I’m a model, duh.”   
  
“A damn fine one at that.”   
  
“Don’t flirt with me.” Nico rolled her eyes and crossed her arms in front of her chest. “Miss Raven.”   
  
Hanayo laughed. “Jeez, calm down. And it’s Evergreen. If I married him it would be Evergreen. Anyway, it’s not the point.”   
  
Nico huffed. “I just think you shouldn’t smoke.”   
  
“You said that last time, Nico-chan.”   
  
“Ugh, don’t purr at me like that damn it.” Nico sighed and rubbed the back of her neck. “You’re still the same as a year ago, huh?”   
  
“Well no.” Hanayo answered with a laugh. “If you’d flirted back a year ago, I would have done something about it. I wouldn’t now. Unless...” She stepped closer to Nico, leaning close to the blushing girl. “You want me to?”   
  
“H-Hanayo, stop it. We have people!” Nico said, gently pushing Hanayo away.    
  
Hanayo laughed at the look on Nico’s face. “You’re so easy to tease, Nico-chan. You can’t blame me though, you’re hot. I mean there’s a reason you’re a model.”   
  
“Bite me.” Nico reached out, taking the cigarette from Hanayo. She placed it between her own lips, taking a long draw from it.    
  
“If you want.”   
  
Nico smiled at the familiar banter and flicked the cigarette away a moment before Hanayo stepped close and hugged her tightly.    
  
“God, I’ve missed you.” Hanayo breathed, feeling Nico hug her back. “I love Rin-chan but sometimes I can’t keep up that facade of being fine. I need you, Nico-chan.”   
  
“I miss you too.” Nico mumbled, her heart hammering heavily against her chest. “I’m sorry I haven’t called in a while, I’ve just been so busy.”   
  
“Me too.” Hanayo said honestly. “I’m...me and Raven are moving to an apartment in Tokyo though. Maybe we could talk more now?”   
  
“I would like that.” Nico closed her eyes, feeling Hanayo’s lips brush against her neck followed by the girl breathing in deeply.    
  
Hanayo drew back, lightly brushing Nico’s hair from her face. “Is it bad that I kind of wish you’d stayed longer last year before you went back to Paris?”   
  
Nico shook her head. She sometimes felt the same way. “Just stop looking at me like that.”   
  
“Like what?” Hanayo murmured, leaning closer.    
  
“Like you want to kiss m-” Nico’s eyes widened as Hanayo kissed her. Her eyes fluttered shut but she didn’t move. The kiss lasted a few long seconds before Hanayo pulled away and turned to look over the balcony. “Want to go to the roof?”   
  
“Sure.” Nico replied before she could stop herself. She felt Hanayo take her hand and lead her back into the bedroom and out of it, through the living room where everyone was sitting and out of the door. She touched her tingling lips as she let Hanayo lead her up the stairs to the roof of the building.    
  
Together, they walked to the edge of the roof and Hanayo went as close to the edge as she could. Nico stayed a little back, keeping a tight hold of Hanayo’s hand as her heart hammered against her chest.    
  
Hanayo inched her foot over the ledge, just barely. “You know how I felt about you, right Nico-chan?”   
  
Nico hummed in acknowledgement. “You told me.”   
  
“I mean I cheated on my ex with you.”   
  
Nico closed her eyes, remembering the night Hanayo had shown up at her apartment in tears after yet another argument with her ex.    
  
“I told you I loved you and I meant it.” Hanayo said honestly. She turned to face Nico who felt her heart seize at the prospect of Hanayo slipping. “But I won’t cheat on Raven-kun. The first time I cheated on someone, I was in a...bad relationship. I’m not anymore.”   
  
“Good. I’m not a good catch.”   
  
“No, you are.” Hanayo answered with a shake of her head. “You are. But Riko-chan would be good for you. Way better than me, that’s for sure.”   
  
“That’s not true.” Nico took a deep breath. “Hey um...we were together for almost a month after  _ she _ broke up with you. Do you think if I hadn’t gone back to Paris we’d…”   
  
“Still be together?” Hanayo finished for Nico. “Yes. I know we would.”   
  
Nico bit her lip. “Do you think...kissing counts as cheating?”   
  
“You really want me to kiss you, don’t you?” Hanayo stepped closer to Nico, brushing a strand of hair from her face. “Raven-kun will understand. I told him about you so he knows...how I felt.”   
  
“You’re going to tell him?” Nico asked hesitantly.    
  
“I tell him everything.” Hanayo cupped Nico’s face in her hand and leaned in close, their lips barely brushing. “Once more.”   
  
Nico leaned up on her tiptoes to close the distance between the two of them and kiss Hanayo once more, her arms going around the girl’s neck. The feeling of Hanayo’s lip moving against her own was comfortingly familiar. Besides Riko, Hanayo was the only other girl she’d kissed. And the only girl she wanted to kiss now that she remembered how it felt.    
  
They pulled away for a brief moment before Hanayo swept Nico up into another open mouthed kiss. Nico whimpered as Hanayo’s tongue brushed against hers. She gripped Hanayo’s shirt, bunching it up in her hands. It was all so familiar yet felt new at the same time. Finally after a few seconds, they broke apart, gasping for air. Nico tried to lean back into the kiss but Hanayo tilted her head back out of reach.    
  
“You really love him, huh?” Nico asked, disappointment seeping into her tone. “More than me?”   
  
“I love you both equally.” Hanayo disagreed with a shake of her head. “You’re just the one that got away, Nico-chan.”   
  
Nico bit her trembling lower lip. “I don’t want to be.” She pressed her hand to Hanayo’s chest. “She reminds me of you, you know. She even has her own fear of dogs. Shit, look at me...I’m practically throwing myself at you. You must think I’m desperate.”   
  
“I don’t. And if I didn’t have a boyfriend I would have already thrown you to the ground and pulled that fashionable dress right off you.” Hanayo retorted with a teasing smile. “Like I did the first time, remember?”   
  
“I remember.” Nico mumbled, her cheeks flushed red. “You’re not making this easy, Hanayo.”   
  
“You aren’t either, Nico-chan.” Hanayo countered, raising an eyebrow. “We haven’t been alone like this in a long time. It’s probably for the best…”   
  
Nico’s grip on the front of Hanayo’s shirt tightened. “I’m still gonna be with you if you go out to smoke. It’s a secret between us after all. You’re still going to tell him about this?”   
  
“Mmhm.” Hanayo said with a nod of her head. “We’re always honest with each other. And he’ll understand, if it’s you. He knows how I felt about you.”   
  
“Well that’s gonna be awkward now.” Nico said, cringing slightly.    
  
“It’ll be fine.” Hanayo laughed and kissed Nico’s forehead. “You know this can’t happen again though, right?”   
  
“Maybe if we manage to fix the past.” Nico mused quietly. “Like Maki wants.”   
  
Hanayo raised an eyebrow. “I thought you didn’t really believe in that?”   
  
“Well...I have two reasons to want to believe now.” Nico said with a small smile. “Who know, we could all end up in different relationships if things change. We could be together.”   
  
Hanayo hummed and looked down at Nico. She was baffled by her own feelings. As committed as she was to her current relationship and as much as she loved her boyfriend, she still wanted to kiss Nico again. As Nico looked up, Hanayo noticed how kissable her lips looked, swollen slightly from the last kiss.    
  
Nico looked at Hanayo’s lips. “It’s not enough...just this. Riko isn’t enough either. I mean I did like her but I thought she was seventeen and now...ugh. Fuck, I’m sorry. I am, I…”   
  
Hanayo kissed Nico once more, urgently pressing her tongue past parted lips without hesitation. She felt Nico lean up and reached down, grasping the back of the girl’s thighs to pick her up. Legs wrapped around her waist and Hanayo whimpered slightly into the kiss. She wondered what was wrong with her, that she could be in love with two people at the same time and not love either more than the other.    
  
“Hanayo.”    
  
Hanayo shuddered at the husky whisper of her name. She felt herself slipping, losing control of herself. She wanted to feel skin, she needed to. She walked them both forwards until she could pin Nico to the wall next to the door and drew back to look at her. Nico stared back, her eyes bright and unguarded. It was an unusual sight.    
  
“Your hands are on my ass.” Nico said suddenly, causing Hanayo to laugh.    
  
“Good, I think I’ll leave them there.” Hanayo whispered, squeezing at the soft flesh under her palms. “Besides, you like it and you know it.”   
  
The two stared at each other for a moment before they spoke at the same time. “I want you.”   
  
“Not now.” Hanayo elaborated quietly, glancing away. “I need to speak to Raven-kun first. There are...relationships like this, right? He might understand. As long as he knows I love you both the same.”   
  
“Yeah.” Nico grabbed Hanayo’s hand and guided it under her dress, to her stomach where she pressed it firmly. She closed her eyes, basking in the coolness of Hanayo’s hand. She let out a soft moan as the hand moved slightly, her dress hitched up by Hanayo’s arm. “I want you, Hanayo.”   
  
Hanayo gritted her teeth. “You’re not making this easy, Nico-chan.”   
  
“I always enjoy a challenge, Hanayo...chan.” Nico smirked. She noticed something flicker across Hanayo’s face and then the girl’s hand was moving up, to her breast, squeezing lightly at it. She gasped softly, tilting her head back and Hanayo took that as permission to kiss and suck at the inviting skin there.    
  
Nico reached down, grasping the hem of Hanayo’s shirt and she quickly pulled it up, getting lost in the movement of Hanayo’s hands.    
  
\-----   
  
Eli didn’t know where to go. She didn’t know what to do. Usually she would go to Honoka for comfort but Honoka was gone. She was dead. She thought of Nozomi next but the thought of her ex-best friend brought with it a wave of anger that only made her feel worse.    
  
She walked the streets for what seemed like hours until she found herself standing outside a familiar house. ‘House’ was putting it lightly. It was much bigger than her own but she should have expected that of the Nishikinos. She sent Maki a text message, requesting that she come to the door and waited patiently for a few minutes until she heard footsteps.    
  
Maki opened the door and took one look at Eli before motioning for her to come into the house. The blonde did so and Maki gripped her arm, leading her up the stairs. Eli’s face was tearstained, she noticed.    
  
Eli pulled back at the doorway. “I-Is Kotori in there?”   
  
Maki shook her head. “S-She’s with Umi. We couldn’t seperate those two, they’re…” Her words caught in her throat as she recalled Kotori’s devastation. They had known it was coming but nothing could have prepared any of them.    
  
Eli followed Maki into the bedroom, glancing around briefly. She wasn’t sure what she expected but the room was very Maki like. It was immaculate, save for a couple of books laying on the table.    
  
“You’re studying?” Eli asked, momentarily taken aback. “ _ Now _ ?!”   
  
“Of course I’m not studying. It’s from the night before last. I haven’t put them away yet.” Maki looked down at her hands, biting her lip. She didn’t know what to do or what she should even say to Eli. As much as it hurt to lose Honoka she could only imagine how she would feel if she lost Kotori. “I-I don’t know what I’m meant to do. You know I’m not the best at this kind of thing.”   
  
“I didn’t have anywhere else to go.” Eli admitted softly. She folded her arm across her stomach, rubbing the opposite arm. “I-I don’t know what to do. Honoka’s gone and I know that but all I can think is that I want to see her because it hurts so fucking much and I don’t know how to make it stop.”   
  
Maki swallowed thickly. “I’ll get some wine from the cupboard downstairs. Stay here.”   
  
Eli nodded in response. As Maki left she let herself slump down on the girl’s bed and cried softly into her hands for a few long minutes until the redhead came back.    
  
Maki paused when she entered the room only to be greeted by the sight of Eli’s teary face and reddened eyes. “You staying over?” She asked as she walked to the bed and set the two glasses in her hand down. She removed the lid from the wine and poured both of them a glass.    
  
Eli nodded, managing a strained sound of acknowledgement through her tears.    
  
“There are some pyjamas in the dresser.” Maki said, handing Eli one of the glasses. “You can go and get changed if you want. I think they should fit you.” She looked down at Eli’s chest, trying to judge that. “Well...might be a bit tight.”   
  
Eli got up from the bed and went to the dresser, searching through it for some clothes. Finding shorts and a t-shirt she quickly changed.    
  
Maki looked away to give Eli some privacy and reached for her phone, sending a quick text to Kotori. She wasn’t surprised that she didn’t receive a text back right away. Kotori would still be busy with Umi, she figured. Besides Eli those two seemed to have been the hardest hit by Honoka’s death. It made sense. She was their best friend, after all. Setting the phone down she turned in time to see Eli pouring herself another glass of the wine she’d brought up before climbing onto the bed.    
  
Eli sat down, leaning back against the headboard with her legs crossed in front of her.    
  
Maki climbed up onto the bed too, sitting next to Eli in a position that mimicked the blonde’s.    
  
“How did you sneak this up here?” Eli murmured, staring at the glass of wine in her hand.    
  
“My parents are working late. Maids don’t seem to notice.” Maki drank the rest of her glass and poured herself another within a few seconds.    
  
“I don’t know what to do.” Eli said softly for what seemed like the tenth time. “Everyone’s just getting on with things and I feel like everything’s stopped. It’s over.”   
  
“You’re not the only one who feels like that.” Maki pushed the bottle into Eli’s hands, figuring the blonde needed it more. “Kotori and Umi feel the same way.”   
  
“But not you.”   
  
Maki glared over at Eli. “Do you really want to go there?”   
  
Eli bit her lip, remembering how hysterical Maki had been at Akiba Bowl. Still, she didn’t understand how Maki seemed to have been able to compose herself after that. “I’m sorry, I just don’t know how you can keep yourself together. I feel like everything has fallen apart.”   
  
Maki bit her lip to keep from saying that she had Kotori and that was what was keeping her going. It wasn’t fair for her to tell Eli that. “I’m too tired, Eli. If you want the truth, I’m not keeping myself together. I was up all night crying into my pillow. I was today too, when I haven’t been working on...stuff.”   
  
Eli blinked rapidly against tears. She didn’t know how she had any left. “I didn’t mean to...I’m sorry. You...you’re one of Honoka’s closest friends, you know. Sh-She was telling me a couple of days before that you were always there to help her when…” She trailed off, her voice breaking.    
  
Maki turned slightly on the bed to face Eli, cradling the bottle of wine between her legs. “I cared about her too.” She said softly, shrugging her shoulders.    
  
Eli sighed listlessly and let her head fall back to the headboard with a soft thump. “I’m going back to Russia.”   
  
Maki did a double take at the sudden announcement. “What?!”   
  
“There’s nothing for me here.” Eli said quietly, shrugging. “Honoka’s gone. There’s Arisa but she’ll be fine with my parents. I just need to get away. I need to go somewhere that doesn’t remind me of Honoka.”   
  
Maki took a long drink from the bottle. “I-It’s been a day, Eli. Can’t you give it some more time? We’re all hurting.”   
  
Anger flashed briefly across Eli’s face. “She was my GIRLFRIEND! You can say it hurts you as much as you want but you can still go back to yours. Give me that!” She snatched the bottle from Maki’s hand and drank hurriedly, wishing it would block out the ache in her chest. “Don’t you have anything stronger than this?!”   
  
Maki shook her head. “I hate vodka.”   
  
Eli scoffed and continued to drink until the bottle was near empty. “I want Honoka back…”   
  
“I know, I…”   
  
“YOU DON’T KNOW!” Eli’s voice rose and Maki cringed in response. She was glad her parents were out but she supposed they would understand. They both knew of the situation. “You had a crush on her and she was your friend. I was  _ in love  _ with her!”   
  
Maki swallowed thickly. “I-I have to go to the bathroom.” She got off the bed, stumbling slightly as the room seemed to spin. Grabbing her phone from the nightstand she made her way to the bathroom and shut the door behind her. She sat down, leaning back against the bathtub and dialled a number, her vision slightly blurred with tears.    
  
She pressed the button to put the phone on speaker and listened intently to the call ringing. Eventually it stopped ringing and went to voicemail and she hung up. She stared at the phone for a couple of minutes wondering what to do. Just as she was about to give in and call again her phone rang. She quickly answered it, seeing Kotori’s picture had appeared on the screen. “H-Hello?!”   
  
“Hey.” Kotori’s voice was scratchy and she sounded a little tired. “Are you okay? Sorry I didn’t answer before, I was...I was with Umi.”   
  
Maki picked up the phone, drawing it close to her. “I miss you.”   
  
“Are you crying?” Kotori asked in alarm. “Oh my god, Maki...have you been crying on your own? I told you to call me.”   
  
“Y-Yes. Eli is here...”   
  
“What? Why?!”   
  
“She needs someone, she just...wanted to talk to me. But now she’s going to Russia and my head hurts and I feel sick and I just want to hug you.” Maki let her head fall to her knees and she sniffled softly. “I just want to see you.”   
  
“H-Have you been drinking?” Kotori asked warily. “Maki-chan, you know you’re a lightweight. Look, I’ll...I’ll come by in the morning.”   
  
“What about Umi?” Maki asked shakily.    
  
“I’ll drop her off at Nozomi’s.”   
  
“Right.” Maki nervously nibbled at her bottom lip for a moment. “Are you okay?”   
  
“I’m fine.”   
  
Maki’s brow furrowed in confusion. “Kotori, be honest with me.”   
  
“I’m a wreck.” Kotori said after a moment of hesitation. “But I don’t have time. Umi-chan’s been having nightmares and she’s panicking and I just don’t know what to do to help her. Nozomi doesn’t know either. And you…”   
  
“Me?” Maki asked softly, lifting her head slightly.    
  
“Nothing.” Kotori murmured into the phone. She gave a heavy sigh after.    
  
Maki took a deep breath. She should have expected this. “I-I understand if you’re angry at me for not being able to save her. I-I tried. I really  _ really _ tried, Kotori. But I understand if you want to brea-”   
  
“If you finish that sentence, Nishikino, I will kick your ass all the way to Europe, do you hear me?!” Kotori’s voice was suddenly hard and annoyed though after a pause she continued, her voice much softer. “Listen, you...you tried, Maki-chan. It’s not your fault.”   
  
Maki felt her throat constrict. It was her fault. She had made Honoka perform that song. “Do you think...do you think I didn’t care about Honoka? Eli says…”   
  
“Eli is lashing out because she’s hurting.” Kotori interrupted before Maki could continue. “Of course you cared about her.”   
  
“Before she got sick I was always…” Maki’s voice broke and she found herself fighting tears once more. “I was always yelling at her, I was always annoyed with how she was acting. Do you think  _ she _ thought I didn’t care?”   
  
“No, I don’t.” Kotori said softly. She thought back to what she had almost said to Maki earlier. She had to be strong for her girlfriend. She didn’t have time to focus on herself yet. “Honoka-chan loved you, Maki-chan. She never thought you didn’t care about her.”   
  
“Sh-She kept saying that and I never said it back, I never told her, I…” Maki bowed her head, a sharp sob escaping her lips. “I wanted to say it back, like you did but I couldn’t. I’m such an idiot.”   
  
Kotori listened to Maki crying on the other end of the line, a lump forming in her throat. “I wish I could be there with you, Maki-chan.”   
  
“I need you.” Maki admitted, her voice thick with emotion. “I really need you, Kotori.”   
  
“I know.” Kotori’s voice was soft and soothing. “But Umi-chan needs me too right now. And even if she doesn’t want to admit it, Eli-chan needs you. I-I have to go, I’m sorry, Maki-chan. I love you.”   
  
“I…” Maki barely had time to even think of replying before the line went dead. She let her phone fall to the floor and took a moment to brace herself before she pushed herself back to her feet.    
  
She walked back to her bedroom, her heart clenching when she saw Eli sobbing into her pillow. She slipped into the bed and hesitantly wrapped her arms around the blonde. Eli collapsed into her, crying into her shoulder and Maki’s own tears resufrance.    
  
“If you have to go, go.” Maki said tearfully. “Just please keep in contact with me, Eli.”   
  
Eli didn’t reply to that. It took a long time but finally her sobs turned to whimpers and then a while later she was asleep. Maki couldn’t bring herself to do the same. She lay awake, staring at Eli though her mind was on Honoka. She didn’t know what Eli would do now or how she would cope. How any of them would cope.    
  
A knock at the door broke her from her thoughts and she carefully slipped away from Eli, walking toward it. She opened the door and found a maid standing there, a worried look on her face. Maki’s initial thought was that the maid had heard Eli crying.    
  
“I-I’m sorry, Nishikino-sama. I tried to stop her and explain you were busy and that it’s late but she just barged in.”    
  
Maki’s heart leapt with hope and she stepped out into the hallway, closing the door behind her. A second later, Kotori appeared at the top of the stairs. She turned the corner and her eyes locked with Maki’s.    
  
“Kotori.” Maki breathed out. She ran toward her girlfriend, throwing her arms around her and released a tearful laugh. “I guess I should have known you wouldn’t hang up on me. B-But what about Umi?”   
  
“She wanted to be with Nozomi anyway.” Kotori held Maki close to her, breathing in her reassuring scent. “I’m here, Maki-chan.”   
  
Maki felt Kotori start to inch away and clutched her tighter. “Don’t let go. Please, not yet.”    
  
“Okay.” Kotori pressed a light kiss to Maki’s neck. “I’m not going anywhere, I promise. I’m sorry I...hung up on you. I just wanted to get to you.”   
  
“I love you.” Maki whispered into Kotori’s shoulder. “I love you so much and I don’t care what anyone else thinks.”   
  
“I love you too.” Kotori gently rubbed Maki’s back, trying to soothe her.    
  
“N-Nishikino-sama.” The maid who had spoken earlier spoke up again. “Would you like to go to your room with your...friend? Or a guest room?”   
  
“My room.” Maki answered, drawing away from Kotori slightly. “If you could prepare a futon…”   
  
“No.” Kotori interrupted with a shake of her head. “Your bed is big enough for the three of us and I don’t want Eli-chan to wake up alone. I’ll be fine.”   
  
“R-Right.” Maki nodded at her maid who hurried off. She turned back to Kotori and cupped her girlfriend’s face in her hands. “You’ve been crying.”   
  
“N-No, just...I’m okay,” Kotori answered, shaking her head. “You don’t have to worry about me.”   
  
“I want to worry about you.” Maki disagreed, meeting Kotori’s eyes intently. She could see the pain in them without even trying. “I want you to be able to lean on me. Don’t tell me what you think I want to hear, Kotori.”   
  
Kotori took a slow shuddering breath and closed her eyes. “I can’t.”   
  
“You can.” Maki insisted gently. “Just let it out, Kotori. It’s okay, it’s…”   
  
“How can I let it out?” Kotori opened her eyes and stared back at Maki. “I can’t. I feel like if I let myself fall apart I won’t be able to put myself back together again. I-I can’t right now. People need me.”   
  
“You need  _ me _ , Kotori.” Maki insisted, her hands moving down to Kotori’s shoulders. “Please, just let it out. Cry, throw things. Whatever you need, I’m here. That’s how we work. Together, remember?”   
  
Kotori rested her forehead against Maki’s. She took several deep breaths, her hands trembling on Maki’s hips before she opened her eyes again and pulled away. “Eli’s going to need us.”   
  
“But…” Maki watched as Kotori pulled away and walked off down the hallway to her bedroom door. “Kotori!”   
  
Kotori paused a couple of steps from the door. “Yeah?”   
  
“Y-You can use me as a distraction if that’s what you need too.” Maki offered shakily as she walked toward Kotori. She stopped just behind her. “If you would rather feel pleasure. I can...help with that. If you want.”   
  
Kotori was silent for a long moment, pondering that. She supposed any kind of closeness with Maki would help but it felt odd to use her girlfriend like that. “I don’t need that, I’m fine.”   
  
“Kotori.” Maki said again as Kotori stepped forward. “I’m not going to lose you, am I?”   
  


Kotori turned and grabbed Maki’s shirt, pulling her into a firm kiss that ended far too soon in Maki’s opinion. “I’m always going to be here for you, Maki-chan. Always.”   
  
Maki finally let Kotori go and slowly followed her back into the bedroom.    
  
\----   
  
Rin looked up as Hanayo and Nico returned to the apartment about an hour after they left. She noticed Nico blushing, her hand pressed to her neck and sighed. She knew leaving those two alone wouldn’t be a good idea. They’d had a weird relationship since Rin and Hanayo’s second year.    
  
Nico hurried off out of the room and Hanayo sat down on the couch next to Raven who was watching her closely.   
  
“We need to talk...later.” Hanayo said softly, resting her hand lightly on his knee.    
  
Raven glanced down at her hand, frowning slightly. “That doesn’t sound good.”   
  
“It’s not bad. At least I hope it won’t be.” Hanayo leaned into his side and he put his arm around her.    
  
Rin got up from her seat and walked into the bedroom after Nico. She paused, noticing Nico pulling on one of her hoodies. “That’s my bag, you know.”   
  
“I know. Do I look like I’d own a sweatshirt?” Nico turned to Rin with a huff. “What do you want?”   
  
“What did you do to Kayo-chin?” Rin crossed her arms in front of her chest.    
  
“Nothing, I…” Nico barely had time to take a step back before Rin was right in front of her, tugging down the hoodie.    
  
“Those are bite marks.” Rin said, letting go of Nico’s collar. Or the collar of  _ her _ hoodie rather. “I can’t believe you. She’s finally happy. After everything that happened with that...that  _ girl _ in high school and now you’re making  her  _ cheat _ ?!”   
  
“We didn’t have sex, okay?!” Nico hissed angrily. “We just made out. And she’s going to tell him anyway!”   
  
Rin gritted her teeth and shook her head. “She’s finally happy and you’re going to ruin everything!”   
  
“She’s fucking miserable, Rin! She just keeps it from you!” Nico retorted loudly. “She’s happy with him, sure, but she’s not happy with her life. And for your information, I didn’t make the first move! I tried to stop her but you know how smooth she can be. I lost control because she’s still so goddamn beautiful and she’s the only girl I’ve ever loved!”   
  
“And you think you’re going to make everything better for her?” Rin asked in disdain. “You said it yourself, she’s happy  _ with _ Raven-kun. You’re just going to break them up!”   
  
“I was trying to keep this from happening, Rin. I had Riko but...ugh, Hanayo just gets me. One kiss from her and I’m just falling for her all over again.” Nico sighed and tugged at the drawstrings of the hoodie she was wearing. “Hanayo says Raven will understand. I believe her. We can work this out, all three of us.”   
  
Rin scoffed in disbelief and paced away from Nico. “How the hell did this group get so fucked up?”   
  
Nico’s eyes widened as Rin swore. Even now that hardly ever happened. “Do I really need to remind you about that?”   
  
“Of course you don’t!” Rin snapped angrily, turning toward Nico.    
  
“Is everything okay?” Hanayo appeared in the doorway, an unsure look on her face.    
  
“Kayo-chin, why?” Rin turned to Hanayo, almost pleading with her for an answer. “What the hell are you thinking?”   
  
Hanayo sighed and stepped into the room, closing the door behind her. “It’s because, I-I never fell out of love with Nico-chan. I still love Raven, I love them both equally. Damn it…”   
  
“So you’re going to break up with him for her?!” Rin exclaimed irritably. She sighed and rubbed her temples. “This is crazy, Hanayo. Even for you.”   
  
“No, I um...I think we can work this out.” Hanayo said uncomfortably. “Even if both of them need to learn to share.”   
  
“What?” Rin stared at Nico blankly. “Is she serious?”   
  
“I know I can be selfish at times but I can bare it for her.” Nico said with a shrug. “I’m crazy about her.”   
  
Rin looked between them for a moment before she began to laugh.    
  
Hanayo sighed in annoyance. “What’s so funny, Rin-chan?”   
  
“I’m sorry but can you imagine her and Raven-kun having to share  _ you _ ?!” Rin exclaimed in disbelief. “They’re complete opposites. You may as well do Raven-kun a favor and dump him. Now that Nico-chan has mentioned it, she does have a habit of being...insistent. And demanding. Do you really think she won’t take up all of your attention?”   
  
“H-Hey, I’m not that bad!” Nico exclaimed, offended by Rin’s observation. “I had to make a lot of sacrifices, especially for my family. And he doesn’t seem that bad either. Why can’t I be happy? Everyone else gets to be happy so why can’t I?”   
  
“Eli is busy trying to kill herself and you think she’s happy?!” Rin countered angrily. “Arisa-chan has scars from her wrists to her elbows, Umi-chan can barely get through a couple of hours without having a damn panic attack!”   
  
“At least they have a support system!” Nico growled in response. “Nobody ever bothers to know what I’m going through!”   
  
“We were there for you all of the time after Honoka-chan died!” Rin argued loudly. “You left US. Maybe if you hadn’t left Kayo-chin you could have stayed together! Maybe you COULD have had a relationship but you didn’t stick around long enough, did you?!”   
  
“I had to think for my family! Going to Paris was a huge deal.” Nico retorted defensively. “It would help my family keep their home!”   
  
“Kayo-chin.” Rin took a deep breath and turned to Hanayo. “Listen to me. Please.”   
  
“I love her.” Hanayo said quietly. “I love her just as much as Raven-kun. I want her, Rin. I want her.”   
  
“But it won’t work. They’re too different, I told you already!” Rin sighed heavily. “You need to start thinking things through. You’re acting like...like a child who can’t make up her mind!”   
  
“Watch it.” Nico warned as Hanayo flinched.    
  
“SHUT UP!” Rin snapped, raising her voice. She stepped toward Hanayo, grasping her hand. “This isn’t fair. You know it’s not fair to him.”   
  
“What? And it’s fair to me?” Nico asked with a roll of her eyes.    
  
“Come on, we both know how high maintenance you can be.” RIn scoffed. “You’d take up ALL of Kayo-chin’s time. Besides, you don’t want MORE rumors bubbling up about your love life. You’ve still got that highschool girl to deal with.”   
  
Nico grimaced at that. “Damn it.” She looked to Hanayo with a frown and the other girl shrugged her shoulders in response. As if on cue her phone buzzed and she drew it out of her pocket, grimacing when she saw the headlines. Clicking on the article that seemed to question whether she was gay, she saw a picture of her kissing Hanayo on the balcony. “DAMN IT!”   
  
“You’ve gotta be kidding me.” Rin muttered, staring at her own phone.    
  
“No, no, no. SHIT. SHIT. My sexuality is outed.” Nico ran a hand over her face. “What the hell am I gonna do?”   
  
“I think you should be more concerned about Hanayo’s cheating being outed.” Rin reminded Nico, raising an eyebrow. “You remember I mentioned you ruining her relationship?”   
  
“It’s over.” Nico muttered to herself. “My career is over…”   
  
Rin groaned in frustration and turned to a guilty looking Hanayo. “Do you SEE what I mean?!” She asked, gesturing to Nico. “Ugh, I’m done with this. I hope Chika can fix this mess she’s made.”   
  
With that said, she turned and stomped out of the room.    
  
Hanayo sighed and crossed the room to comfort Nico who was staring at her phone in tears.    
  
TBC.    



	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter of ANITW, I hope you guys enjoy!
> 
> Warning(s): Violence, sexual scenes, angst, SELF-INJURY, swearing and...slight hetero romance?
> 
> Leading off of that, just a note to mention that there are some het scenes in here (not sex, NEVER sex) so if you want to skip those, that’s fine. Just skip the Hanayo scenes and the Nico scenes.

Hanayo sat down next to Raven, looking between him and Nico who sat on the chair opposite them. She would have preferred to have them both close to her but she didn’t have much choice. Nico was sitting as close to the couch as she could get without sitting on the floor. Thankfully, she had decided just to go to her own apartment, figuring that Kotori’s apartment would be too quiet for them to have this talk there. Even at such a late hour, Rin and Emily would be sleeping in the living room.    
  
“I guess it’s a good thing we’ve managed to unpack some of the furniture at least.” Raven joked in an attempt to break the tension that had settled in the room. Boxes were stacked around the room. They’d barely had any time to unpack smaller things, considering they spent most of their time at Kotori’s apartment. He cleared his throat in discomfort when Nico frowned at him. “So um...what’s this about? You said you wanted to talk, Han?”   
  
“Han?” Nico raised an eyebrow at the nickname and Hanayo flushed red.    
  
“Yes, right.” Hanayo gripped his hand and glanced briefly between him and Nico before her gaze lingered once more on him. “So you know Nico-chan, right?”   
  
Raven nodded in response, his gaze flitting toward Hanayo’s once more.    
  
Nico let out a heavy sigh. “We already met. Can we just hurry up with this?”   
  
“Right. Let’s just...Nico-chan, take off your hoodie.” Hanayo suggested without looking away from her boyfriend. He didn’t look away from her either. “Don’t worry, she has a dress underneath.”   
  
Nico huffed but stood up, tugging off her hoodie. She dropped it down onto the couch behind her. “There.”   
  
Raven finally looked toward Nico. He wasn’t surprised to see the marks on her neck. “Right, I see.” He drew his hand from Hanayo’s and cleared his throat. “I see. So you’re um...this is the girl then, right? The one you told me about.”   
  
Hanayo nodded slowly, biting the inside of her cheek.    
  
Nico stared at Raven intently, silence settling once more between the three of them. After a moment she couldn’t take it anymore. “So you’re just not going to say anything?”   
  
Raven gave a shrug of his shoulders. “She told me she was in love with someone else before we got together. And she told me it was one of her closest friends so...this isn’t exactly a surprise.”   
  
Hanayo grimaced at the comment. It wasn’t said with anger but it stung.    
  
“I-I should go.” Nico stood up, feeling a bit sick. Rin had been right, she was just a homewrecker. “I already ruined everything so…”   
  
“Nico-chan, wait!” Hanayo stood up and grabbed Nico’s wrist before she could leave.    
  
Raven cleared his throat and stood up. “Hanayo’s right, you should stay. I should go and...you know, give you two some time to…”   
  
“Nobody’s going anywhere!” Hanayo exclaimed in exasperation. “Would you both just listen? I don’t want to break up with you, Raven-kun. But I want to be with Nico too so I-I thought maybe if it’s okay with you we could stay as we are but...Nico-chan could be here too.”   
  
Raven gaped at her. “Huh?”   
  
Nico blushed and fiddled with the hem of her dress.    
  
“So I would be dating you and Nico-chan at the same time.” Hanayo clarified, hoping he would understand.    
  
“Like a...harem.” Raven said blankly.    
  
“No, more like a threesome.” Nico disagreed quickly. “But not a threesome because we wouldn’t be...you know.”   
  
“Oh thank god.” Raven breathed a sigh of relief and sank down onto the couch. “No offence, you’re just not my type. You and I look like we could be related.”   
  
“What?” Hanayo and Nico said in unison, turning toward him.    
  
“What? I’m just saying. Same color hair.” Raven pointed to his head and nodded to hers. “Well um...sorry, you were saying something about a harem?”   
  
“Raven!” Hanayo swatted his arm but sighed when she noticed that he was smiling slightly. He was obviously just messing with her.    
  
Raven took a deep breath and leaned back against the couch. “So how does this work? You’re my girlfriend Monday to Wednesday and hers for the rest of the week?”   
  
Hanayo rolled her eyes but she could tell he was only half-joking. “Ah, I wasn’t thinking it would be like that. I was thinking we’d just be...together.”   
  
Nico and Raven stared at her blankly. “What? How?”   
  
“Uh…” Hanayo hesitated unsurely. She hadn’t let herself hope enough to think that far ahead. “I don’t know about that yet. I guess I could spend time with you both at the same time but that would be pretty uncomfortable for the two of you, wouldn’t it?”   
  
“I guess we could try.” Raven suggested with a shrug of his shoulders.    
  
Nico nodded in agreement. “Yeah, we can try.”   
  
\-----

 

Eli padded into the kitchen, having woken up and found that she was thirsty. Everyone else already seemed to be sleeping. She stopped short in the doorway, noticing Nozomi was standing at the counter, stirring something in a cup. She paused for a moment, taking a moment to look her over. She hadn’t noticed before but Nozomi’s hair was shorter now. Around shoulder length.    
  
“You’ve changed.” She commented as she walked into the room. Now that she’d managed to calm down she no longer felt a desire to hit her ex-best friend.    
  
Nozomi flinched and turned around quickly, almost knocking over her cup of hot milk. “Y-Yeah well you’ve been in Russia for two years.”   
  
“You’ve been in England.” Eli countered, opening the fridge. She took out a bottle of water and closed the door.    
  
Nozomi frowned. “Who told you?”   
  
“Maki.” Eli looked Nozomi up and down, noticing the shirt she was wearing was too tight for her. It seemed to cling to her chest. “So are you and Umi still together? Jeez, first Maki and Kotori and now you two...”   
  
Nozomi raised an eyebrow. “Do you have a problem with that.”   
  
“No problem, I’m just bitter. I see your anger has gotten worse.” Eli quipped. She sat down at the table. She had no desire to get into another fight with Nozomi but at the same time she didn’t mind if she did.    
  
“Nico-chan  got herself into some kind of love triangle.” Nozomi pointed out, choosing not to rise to Eli’s goading. “She should’ve just stayed in Paris.”   
  
“You should have stayed in England.” Eli pointed out, her tone sharper than a moment ago. “I should have stayed in Russia.”   
  
“With their government?” Nozomi asked skeptically.    
  
“Well you’re not there so that’s a plus.”    
  
Nozomi scowled at the insult. “You’re such an ass, Eli.” She turned back to the counter, picking up her cup of warm milk and took a sip to calm herself. “But I’m too tired to fight with you right now.”   
  
Eli looked down at the table she was sitting at, running her fingers over the wood. “So you live with Umi now, huh? In England?”   
  
“Yeah, we’re on vacation.” Nozomi answered warily, wondering where Eli was going with the comment. “Didn’t Maki mention that?”   
  
“I haven’t talked to Maki since I moved back here.” Eli answered with a shake of her head. “Do you remember our plans for after we graduated? Back in our third year?”   
  
Nozomi felt an icy chill go down her spine and she clutched the cup tighter. “What do you mean?”   
  
“We both wanted to go to Tokyo U.” Eli’s voice was soft but didn’t hold the gentleness of someone fondly speaking of a memory. “And we said we’d share a dorm.”   
  
Nozomi swallowed thickly. “Yeah, I remember.”   
  
“Hmm.” Eli smiled bitterly. “Guess you don’t think about how you managed to screw it all up, do you? It’s ironic, that it was you really. You know the others all looked up to you, right? Thought of you as someone they could go to with a problem. For advice.”   
  
Nozomi gritted her teeth. “You don’t have to remind me it’s my fault. If you’re trying to hurt me with that you don’t have to. I have to live with that.”   
  
“Yet you still choose to defend Chika.”   
  
Nozomi placed the cup down on the counter and walked over to the table. “Do you want to know what my priority was when I was helping Chika, Elichi? Do you?!”   
  
Eli rolled her eyes and moved to stand up but Nozomi grabbed her arm, keeping her in place.    
  
“You know, I had feelings for you for a while back then.” Nozomi’s blunt statement stopped Eli short. Surprised blue eyes flickered to hers. “But I knew you liked Honoka-chan so I put them aside and I did my best to keep you two together. To keep Chika-chan from hurting you when she was in Honoka-chan’s body. Hell, I even went on dates with the two of you to keep an eye on her!  _ You _ were my priority. I wanted you to be happy! What the hell would have you have done at the start of your relationship with Honoka if you’d known about her and Chika switching? And that Chika liked Maki?”   
  
Eli looked away. “I would have ended whatever we had together.”   
  
“That’s STUPID! You would have broken her heart!” Nozomi exclaimed in outrage. She sighed when Eli didn’t say anything. “That’s what I’m trying to tell you. I was trying to protect both of you. I knew how good the two of you were for each other. If I’d told you it would have ended.”   
  
“It ended anyway!” Eli gasped in surprise as Nozomi yanked her to her feet by her shirt and arm. “Ah, Nozomi…”   
  
“Don’t say such nonsense. She loved you. Honoka  _ loved _ you!”   
  
“Yeah and now she’s dead so it’s OVER!” Eli growled though she did nothing to fight against Nozomi’s grip. “You wanting to protect us ruined EVERYTHING!”   
  
“I know that.” Nozomi’s voice softened as she met Eli’s eyes. “I didn’t help Honoka, I destroyed our friendship and now you hate me for it. I know all of that! But I did all of that because I cared about  _ you _ , doesn’t that make a difference?”   
  
Eli’s expression softened just slightly, tears gleaming in her eyes. “I…”   
  
Nozomi felt a rush of hope. “I cared about you more than anyone. You were my best friend, I would never have done anything to hurt you. And I loved Honoka too. You know what I thought of her. Do you really think I would have let this happen if I’d had any choice?”   
  
Eli slowly shook her head.    
  
“Hey, get your hands off of her!”   
  
Nozomi looked up in time to see Yukiho rushing toward her. The younger girl planted a hand on Nozomi’s chest and pushed her back. Nozomi felt her stomach sink. She’d finally been getting through to Eli, she had seen it in the blonde girl’s eyes. A brief flash of realization. “Don’t tell me what to do, I’m her...I was her best friend so just back off!”   
  
“Well I’m sorry but that title belongs to me now.” Yukiho growled in response. She turned toward Eli, gently gripping her arms. “Are you okay, Eli-san?”   
  
Nozomi sighed, her shoulder slumping. “Jeez, even when she’s a mess she can charm someone.”   
  
“Y-Yeah.” Eli’s gaze drifted over to Nozomi over Yukiho’s shoulder. “Yeah, I’m fine.”   
  
Nozomi took a deep breath. She couldn’t let the chance go. “Please, just think about what I said, Elichi. I’m not asking you to forgive me. I’ve tried and I know it’s not possible. But I miss my best friend.”   
  
Eli didn’t reply.    
  
Nozomi watched as Yukiho guided Eli out of the room. “Damn it, Eli, why do you have to make girls fall for you…?” She sighed and ran a hand over her face. “Guess I’ll have to be the one to keep her feelings from being hurt. She shouldn’t be her sister’s replacement.”   
  
\-------   
  
Yukiho gently rubbed Eli’s back as the girl cried softly into her shoulder. They’d managed to get back to their bedroom before Eli had broken down in tears.    
  
“I didn’t know she liked me, how could I even figure that out?!” Eli wept, gripping Yukiho’s shirt as tightly as she could.    
  
“Gee, I wonder.” Yukiho sighed.    
  
“I was so focused on Honoka that my own feelings for her faded completely. I-I mean I knew I had a thing for her but I just...H-Honoka had my heart. Even when Chika was there instead of her. Ah, why am I so clueless?!” Eli drew away, wiping roughly at her eyes in frustration.    
  
“Because you only wanted one person.” Yukiho said gently, leaving her hand on Eli’s back. “Even now you only want Onee-chan, right? You...you haven’t been with anyone since her, have you?”   
  
“No!” Eli looked horrified by the thought alone. “I haven’t even kissed anyone else. I wouldn’t.”   
  
Yukiho cringed at that, remembering the incident when Eli had been drunk and had kissed her. However brief it may have been it was still a kiss.    
  
Yukiho swallowed thickly and looked down at her feet. “D-Do you not think that maybe...it would be good for you to find someone else?”   
  
Eli stared at her blankly, her cheeks still shimmering with tears. “No, I’ve never thought of anyone else. How could I? I don’t want anyone else, I just want Honoka.”   
  
Yukiho rolled her eyes skyward as her heart leapt in her chest. Even after everything, Eli was so innocent. She couldn’t help but find it cute that Eli was so against the idea of finding someone else. “I worry about you, you know.” She said softly, her hand drifting down Eli’s arm to grip her hand. “I don’t want you to be alone.”   
  
“I’m not alone. I have you.” Eli answered with a shake of her head. “And I have Arisa. That’s enough.”   
  
“But I mean…” Yukiho awkwardly looked away for a moment. “What about the things we can’t give you like...like you know…”   
  
Eli looked at her skeptically. “I don’t need that. I don’t want it. Only Honoka can have me.”   
  
“W-Well maybe not that b-but what about other...you know, um…” Yukiho tripped over her words. Talking about this was so awkward. “‘Couple-y things’? Like just...intimacy, you know? It’s good to have something like that.”   
  
“Intimacy?” Eli echoed, tilting her head slightly. “I don’t think you need to be in a relationship for that but I don’t want that from…”   
  
“Anyone but Honoka. I know, I know.” Yukiho bit her lip, her mind flashing back to the times she’d had to drag Eli into the shower. She supposed that could be considered intimate, considering they were hardly dressed. Especially on the occasions that Eli had hugged her in the shower, apologizing drunkenly for being so useless. Yukiho blushed and bowed her head.    
  
“I’m sorry.” Eli said softly, guilt lacing her tone. “I know you’re just trying to help but I can’t imagine myself with anyone else. I’d rather drink myself to death.”   
  
Yukiho looked up sharply at that only to see that Eli was completely serious. Her stomach plummeted. She worried about that a lot, that Eli’s drinking would do her harm. She moved, pushing Eli lightly back against the bed and stumbling forward, straddling the girl’s lap. “Over my dead body, Ayase.”   
  
Eli gripped Yukiho’s hip lightly to steady her and looked up at her in concern. She had noticed the stumble and knew their position wasn’t intentional. “Are you okay?”   
  
“No, I’m not!” Yukiho snapped, tears prickling at her eyes. “You just told me you would rather die then move on. It’s not right!”   
  
Eli noticed the tears in Yukiho’s eyes. She hated hurting her, it was like hurting Honoka somehow. She knew Honoka hated seeing Yukiho upset. She looked away. “Like I told you a million times already. It’s true.”   
  
“You don’t think I’d rather be the one that died?!” Yukiho retorted in disbelief. “I would, I wish I was the one who’d ended up with…” Her eyes widened as a hand clamped itself over her mouth. “Hmm!?”   
  
“Don’t.” Eli said, her voice hushed but annoyed. “Honoka would kick your ass if she heard you say that.”   
  
Yukiho’s shoulders slumped, her tears coming thicker and faster. Eli moved her hand and she spoke up, her voice thick with emotion. “I couldn’t do anything! All I could do was watch everyone break down. My father’s a mess, my mom is barely functioning and I-I...I couldn’t be there anymore. I used to find myself in her room, just crying into her pillow  _ every night _ .”   
  
Eli gently shushed Yukiho and reached up, tugging the ribbon from her hair. The side ponytail fell free, cascading over her shoulder. “It’s okay.” She murmured, gently guiding Yukiho’s head down to her shoulder. “I’m here. I’m here.”   
  
Yukiho clung to Eli tightly, calmed by the warmth emanating from her. She buried her face in Eli’s neck, the scent of Eli’s skin dizzying her. She felt dread clutch at her. Whatever she had felt for Eli before was definitely growing to something more like attraction. “Damn you. You make me so emotional.”   
  
She heard Eli’s murmured apology but she was more focused on the hand gently stroking her hair and the softness of Eli’s body, pressed close to her.    
  
\-----   
  
It caught Kotori off guard that she woke before Maki the next morning. Usually the redhead woke up as early as possible so she could either go to class or she could study sooner. This time though, Maki was still sleeping, a peaceful look on her face. Kotori carefully reached across Maki for her phone and noticing they had a minute until the alarm was due to go off she turned it off herself.    
  
She set the phone back down and lay down on her side next to Maki. “Maki-chan.” She murmured gently, causing Maki to stir. Deciding to let her girlfriend rest for a while she carefully sat up, deciding to get out of bed. She didn’t have time to push the blankets back before arms went around her waist. Kotori let out a gasp of surprise as Maki pulled her back into the bed.    
  
“Where are you going?” Maki mumbled tiredly, her lips grazing Kotori’s shoulder.    
  
“I was going to make you some coffee before I woke you up.” Kotori answered with a small smile as she relaxed into Maki’s arms.    
  
Maki shook her head. “No, you have to stay right here. Snuggling is better than waking up.”   
  
“Pfft.”   
  
“What?” Maki mumbled though she still didn’t open her eyes.    
  
“Daring and cool Maki-chan saying snuggling.” Kotori explained in amusement. She turned in Maki’s embrace, wrapping an arm around the girl’s waist. “So you have me. What now?”   
  
Maki leaned in and pecked Kotori’s lips. “Hmm...we watch a movie.”   
  
Kotori was taken aback by the suggestion. “What? We’d need a computer.”   
  
“Laptop.” Maki replied though she made no move to get up. Instead she nestled close to Kotori, yawning tiredly. “I’m lazy, I just want to hold you. Can we just stay here?”   
  
“For how long?” Kotori asked with a small smile. She reached up, lightly running her fingers through Maki’s hair.    
  
“I don’t know.” Maki’s lips twitched up into a smile. “For the rest of the morning maybe. We don’t need to get up anyway, right?” She leaned up, her hand going to the back of Kotori’s head as she drew her into another kiss. She leaned back down, resting her head back on the pillow and drew Kotori down with her without breaking the kiss.    
  
Fingers grazed gently over her cheek, past her ear before burying themselves gently into her hair as Kotori pressed closer to her, nipping softly at her lip. She hummed in satisfaction, feeling the weight of Kotori’s upper body press against her own.    
  
Slowly, Kotori pulled away, looking down at Maki for a long moment. Her girlfriend was only wearing a tanktop and a pair of shorts unlike Kotori herself who was wearing a nightgown. Kotori realized that Maki had been wearing a hoodie the previous night. She figured Maki must have pulled it off in the middle of the night.    
  
Kotori unconsciously licked her lips. Maki looked especially cute, not to mention hot with the strap of her tanktop sliding off her shoulder. Kotori shook her head. As much as she wanted to make a move she knew she shouldn’t. Maki had been so overworked lately and clearly just wanted to rest.    
  
“Kotori?” Maki murmured, worried when Kotori didn’t answer her.    
  
Kotori bit her lip, Maki’s hair was messy too, her eyes completely unguarded as she stared up at her. She gave a sheepish laugh, realizing Maki was waiting for her to answer. She couldn’t help but wonder how her girlfriend could be so cool one minute and then so cute the next. “Sorry, you just look nice this morning. It...caught me off guard for a minute. I guess I should be used to it but now.”   
  
“I do?” Maki tilted her head in response.    
  
Kotori smirked and rolled her eyes. She gently ruffled Maki’s soft hair and slipped away, getting out of bed. “I’ll get the laptop. Fix your hair.”   
  
Maki blinked owlishy before she grabbed her phone to check her hair using the front camera. “Ah, my hair is awful in the morning.”   
  
“No, it’s cute. Should be messy all of the time.” Kotori found the laptop on the small desk across the room and returned to Maki, placing it on the bed next to her. “Do you want me to get you some coffee?”   
  
“No.” Maki said quickly. “If you go out there someone’s going to need you for something and I won’t get to spend the morning with my girlfriend. I just want you.” She patted the space next to her and Kotori crawled back into bed.    
  
Maki sat up as Kotori went about turning the laptop on. She’d been up a few hours later than Kotori the previous night but she’d chosen to stay in the bedroom with her rather than go to her study. “It’s been a while since we had the morning to ourselves, huh?”   
  
Kotori glanced over at Maki. “Well we’ve been busy with college and work lately. Not to mention trying to figure out the...the Chika thing. One lazy Sunday isn’t going to kill us.”   
  
“I know.” Maki said with a small smile. “I was just thinking that we should try to make more time for each other, that’s all.” She pressed herself close to Kotori’s back, resting her head on the girl’s shoulder.    
  
Kotori smiled, feeling Maki purr in contentment. She reached up, brushing her hand over to back of Maki’s head just briefly before she went back to what she was doing.    
  
Maki closed her eyes, inhaling the comforting scent of the shampoo Kotori liked to use. She wasn’t sure what it was. Coconut maybe, she thought. “I don’t want us to change.” She mumbled, feeling drowsiness threaten to overwhelm her once more.    
  
“Hmm?” Kotori paused what she was doing, having not heard what Maki had said.    
  
“Nothing.” Maki said quickly, sitting up a bit to keep from falling asleep. She kissed Kotori’s cheek and tried to ignore the worry niggling at her. “Let’s just put something on on Netflix. I’m too tired to pay much attention anyway.”   
  
Kotori nodded and did as she was asked. She felt Maki adjust herself behind her, moving so that Kotori was sitting between her legs. Kotori leaned back when she sensed that Maki was situated, her back resting against Maki’s front. “Is this okay?”   
  
“Better than okay.” Maki said softly, pressing her lips to Kotori’s shoulder. She wrapped her arms lightly around Kotori’s chest and looked down at the laptop screen. She was more focused on the feeling of holding Kotori close to her.    
  
Kotori leaned her head back, looking up at Maki for a couple of seconds before she turned her attention back to the screen. Outside of the room she could already hear the other getting up, Rin and Nozomi talking in the kitchen about something, Arisa’s voice soon joining them.    
  
\-----   
  
“Whoa, careful Arisa-chan!” Rin exclaimed as she walked out of the kitchen only to have Arisa almost walk right into her.    
  
“S-Sorry!” Arisa exclaimed, her eyes wide with alarm. “I’m sorry, I wasn’t paying attention!”   
  
“It’s alright.” Rin said with a gentle smile. She reached out to gently pat Arisa’s shoulder only to have the girl shrink away as soon as she touched her. “Hey, are you okay?”   
  
“S-Sorry!” Arisa turned, intending to hurry away only to run right into Nozomi. “Ah…”   
  
“I’ve got it from here, Rin-chan.” Nozomi said, nodding to Rin. She took Arisa’s hand and led her away from Rin and down the hall to the bathroom. She shut the door behind them and turned toward Arisa. “Do you want to talk?”   
  
Arisa shook her head, her lower lip trembling. She went to sit on the edge of the bathtub and looked down at her trembling hands.    
  
Nozomi noticed the trembling as well as the redness under Arisa’s eyes. “You know, if you’re afraid of something you can tell me. Umi-chan has had problems with anxiety too in the past. She still has them now. And I have other problems myself.”   
  
Arisa looked up with interest. “U-Umi-san does?”   
  
“Mmhm.” Nozomi walked over to Arisa and crouched down in front of her. She placed her hand on the edge of the tub near her but she didn’t touch her again. “So if you want to you can talk to me about whatever you want.”   
  
“A-And you won’t tell Onee-chan?” Arisa checked shakily. “O-Or Yukiho-chan?”   
  
Nozomi shook her head. “I won’t, I promise.”   
  
Arisa worriedly gnawed on her bottom lip, staring down at her hands. “Yukiho-chan knows, b-but I don’t think Onee-chan does. Or maybe she doesn’t care. She spends all of her time with Yukiho-chan anyway…”   
  
Nozomi frowned. That didn’t sound like the Eli she’d known. Surely Eli couldn’t have changed that much over the course of two years. “Elichi loves you, Arisa-chan. Of course she’d care.”   
  
“I know.” Arisa bowed her head, tears prickling at her eyes. “She cares about both of us. But only Yukiho-chan can get through to her. I’m useless. I’m just a burden to them.”   
  
Nozomi felt an ache resound through her chest in response to Arisa’s words. “That’s not true, Arisa-chan. You’re never a burden. If you want to talk about something, no matter what, you can tell me.”   
  
Arisa stood up from the tub suddenly, taking Nozomi by surprise. Nozomi was even more surprised when Arisa crossed her arms in front of her over her stomach and gripped the hem of her sweatshirt, tugging it over her head.    
  
“A-Arisa-chan.” Nozomi looked away quickly, her cheeks turning red. As the sweatshirt hit the floor she risked a glanced back, relieved to find that Arisa was still wearing a shirt. Her relief lasted only a moment before she noticed the marks on Arisa’s arms, stretching up past her elbows. Numerous wounds, some healed, some healing. Some of them were just scars but she could see that two on each arm were fresh and raw looking. “Shit, Arisa-chan. W-Why? Why would you do this?”   
  
Arisa sank back down onto the bathtub. “She’s hurting so I deserve to be hurting too.”   
  
“What?” Nozomi asked in disbelief, shaking her head. “Eli does this too, right? That’s what you’re telling me. So why the hell are you doing it?”   
  
“I deserve as much pain as her. I’m just a burden.” Arisa repeated tearfully.    
  
Nozomi gritted her teeth, a low growl escaping her lips. She clutched her right hand with her left. She wanted to storm right up to Eli and ask what the hell was wrong with her that she couldn’t see how much pain Arisa was in. At the same time she knew that would ruin any chance of her reconciling with Eli. “Control it, control it.”   
  
Arisa sniffled softly. “W-Why are you holding your arm?”   
  
“Because I have my own problems. My anger is dangerous. I once put a guy in the hospital…”   
  
“A-Are you angry with me?”   
  
Nozomi’s anger toward Eli faded slightly. “No! No, of course not. I’m angry with Eli. And Yukiho. They should have noticed this.” She knelt back down in front of Arisa, boldly gripping her hand this time. “I could never be angry at you.”   
  
“Yukiho-chan always notices. She treats my wounds sometimes and calms me down at school. She’s just so...busy with everything.” Arisa said softly. “She has a lot on her plate and I’m nothing but a burden for her.”   
  
“That’s not true, that can’t be true. You’re her best friend.” Nozomi said with a shake of her head. She looked down at Arisa’s arms. “You need to have these cleaned. I-I should get Maki-chan.”   
  
“NO!” Arisa exclaimed, gripping Nozomi’s hand hard. “Please, Nozomi-san. I only told because I-I trust you. I don’t want anyone else to know. Please.”   
  
“What about Umi-chan?”   
  
Arisa shook her head. “I-I don’t want her to think I’m weak. Please don’t tell her either.”   
  
Nozomi sighed in response. Keeping things from Umi was going to be a pain. “Fine. But you have to tell me whenever you do this, okay? And if you need help, you come to me. I’ll help you. Whatever you need.”   
  
Arisa nodded in agreement and gratefully leaned into the hug Nozomi offered her.    
  
\------   
  
After a short while of searching, Nozomi found Yukiho in Maki’s study. She stepped inside, closing the door behind her. Yukiho was sitting at the desk, writing something.    
  
“You’re not looking after anyone.” Nozomi commented.    
  
Yukiho glanced up, pausing in her writing. “I have homework, you know. Damn, Arisa-chan needs to do hers too. I’ll let her copy mine before class.”   
  
Nozomi stepped further into the room. “You know she’s hurting herself, right?” She noticed Yukiho freeze and continued. “Recently. She had marks that were new.”   
  
“Damn it.” Yukiho cursed under her breath. She had meant to ask Arisa the previous night if she had but she’d barely had a chance to say goodnight. “Argh, you just had to rile Eli-san up and distract me!”   
  
Nozomi’s face clouded over in anger. “This is  _ not _ my fault. I’m sick of everyone blaming me for everything. You can take your blame and shove it…”   
  
“Alright, alright!” Yukiho exclaimed loudly, interrupting Nozomi. “But you have to admit the screaming going on in the kitchen was your fault. I mean I walked in and you were holding Eli-san by her shirt. Kind of looked like you were trying to intimidate her. So whose fault is it that I was more focused on Eli-san than Arisa-chan?”   
  
Nozomi growled low in her throat. “If you weren’t Honoka-chan’s sister I’d kick your scrawny ass. I’m not in the mood for this today.”   
  
“Captain of the swim team.” Yukiho rose to her feet. “Try me, Tojo.”   
  
“God, you’re so...not like Honoka-chan!” Nozomi exclaimed in frustration. “Fine. You know what? We don’t have to discuss it.”   
  
“Why do I have to be like Onee-chan?!” Yukiho retorted loudly, gripping the edge of the table. “It’s bad enough that everyone expected me to follow in her footsteps and be a school idol! That Eli-san had to be drunk and give me that stupid kiss and now she keeps saying that she’ll never kiss anyone but Onee-chan because she doesn’t even remember. It’s BAD ENOUGH that Eli-san looks at me like she’s looking at her.” Her voice cracked and she realized she was crying. “I’M NOT LIKE HER! I’M NEVER GOING TO BE LIKE HER!”   
  
“Oh, god damn it…” Nozomi turned away, pressing her hand to her forehead as Yukiho crumbled back into her seat, sobbing into her arms. She took a deep breath before she turned and went to Yukiho’s side, placing a hand on her back.    
  
“I want her back! I want Onee-chan back! Even if she was lazy, a pain and just always so damn happy!” Yukiho hit the desk hard with the side of her fist. “I WANT HER BACK!”   
  
“I know, I know.” Nozomi said softly, forgetting about her earlier irritation. She gently rubbed Yukiho’s back until the girl calmed down a bit. “I know you’re doing your best, Yukiho-chan.”   
  
“I’m trying my best!” Yukiho said tearfully. “But I’m so tired. I can’t even face my classmates or Dai-kun. And I can’t show weakness, especially in front of Arisa-chan. She already thinks I resent her, I think.”   
  
“Yeah, no shit.” Nozomi muttered. She shook her head as Yukiho looked up at her. “It’s fine. Look...I’m going to take the weight off a bit. Arisa-chan’s going to rely on me more. I’m going to help her so you don’t have to, okay?”   
  
Yukiho choked back a sob. “Ever since we met in middle school I swore to myself I would take care of her. I’m such a terrible person, I can’t keep it together for anyone. I have to help her, I can’t lose her, Nozomi-san. I can’t!”   
  
“Hey, hey!” Nozomi gently grabbed Yukiho’s arms as the teenager began to cry again. “Listen to me. You’re not supergirl. Your sister died when you were fourteen years old, Yukiho-chan. I’m guessing your family life is shit too?”   
  
Yukiho nodded. “I can barely face my mother without her looking at me and crying. You know even i-if we look different, we still have the same face. I wear my hair this way to honor her. But it hurts my mom. And Eli. But I still won’t stop. What the hell is wrong with me?”   
  
“What’s wrong with you is that you have two people you love depending on you.” Nozomi said, her voice surprisingly calm. “And you still love your sister so much, you can’t let go. Besides that you’re worried that if you don’t look after Arisa personally it’s like you’ve given up on her. And you can’t stand that.”   
  
Yukiho nodded her head. “What do I do, Nozomi-san? I don’t know what to do.”   
  
Nozomi sighed softly. “You need someone to support you. Someone who’s willing to look out for you like you do with Elichi and Arisa-chan.”   
  
“I-I don’t really have anyone else.”   
  
“Me, you idiot.” Nozomi said with a roll of her eyes. “I’m going to be here for you and Arisa-chan, I promise.”   
  
Yukiho’s eyes filled with tears again and she threw her arms around Nozomi, hugging her tightly. She felt Nozomi’s arms wrap around her in turn, motherly warmth overwhelming her.    
  
Nozomi held Yukiho tightly as she cried, patiently rubbing her back to soothe her. Finally the sobs quietened to whimpers and then silence as Yukiho fell asleep in her arms. Nozomi picked Yukiho up as gently as she could and walked over to the futon spread out on the floor. She placed Yukiho down and tucked her in. She took off Yukiho’s reading glasses, being careful not to wake her before she went to put the teenager’s homework away.    
  
Noticing it was English, she hesitated before sitting down to finish it off. English was her forte and it was the least she could do to ease some of the pressure on Yukiho’s shoulders.    
  
As she wrote, Yukiho’s closed notebook caught her attention. There was something sticking out of it. She reached over and opened the book, her heart wrenching when a photo of Yukiho and her family fell out from the pages. She picked it up. A picture of all four of the Kousakas, Honoka hugging Yukiho from the side. There were tears stains on it, she noticed. Mainly on Honoka’s part.    
  
She sighed softly and returned the photograph. She got the impression Yukiho would react badly if it went missing. “She really needs a family…” She muttered to herself. “Damn it, Eli. Why couldn’t you be the reliable Onee-chan you used to be for these two?”   
  
\------   
  
“What if I can’t do it? I don’t even know what I’m doing.” Chika fretted as she looked around the hotel room at her her friends. Kanan was sitting next to her on the bed while Riko was sitting on the floor nearby. Ruby and You were sitting on the floor too, eating ramen noodles they’d picked up for dinner at a convenience store. The two had their own hotel room, paid for with the credit card Dia had given Ruby permission to use.   
  
“You’ve gone too far to give up now, Chika-chan.” Riko said encouragingly from the floor. “You want to help them, don’t you?”   
  
“But what if I make it worse?” Chika asked in concern, looking over at Riko. “What if I change who they end up with? What if Nozomi-chan and Umi-chan don’t get together a-and Kotori-chan and Maki-chan break up?! What if I end up with you instead of Kanan-chan?”   
  
“Uh…” Riko blushed, looking away. She had to admit that didn’t seem like something negative. “W-Well you shouldn’t worry about that right now.”   
  
Kanan’s eye twitched at the suggestion. “I wouldn’t let that happen anyway. I would pursue you if you showed an interest, Chika. Don’t worry.”   
  
“I am worried!” Chika insisted loudly. She glanced over at You who didn’t seem to be listening at all. She was too busy feeding a blushing Ruby her noodles. “What about those two? They might not get together!”   
  
You cast a sidewards glance at Chika. “Not gonna happen. I think me and Ruby will end up together no matter what you do.”   
  
“You-chan…” Ruby gazed softly at You.    
  
“You remember someone had to spell out her crush on you, right?” Chika asked, raising an eyebrow.    
  
You visibly deflated, her chopsticks falling back into her tub of noodles. “Ugh…”   
  
“R-Ruby will spell it out for her!” Ruby exclaimed hurriedly, noticing how troubled You looked. “I’m not going to be shy!”   
  
“Really?” Kanan raised an eyebrow. “You know none of us will remember this, right?”   
  
“Yes!” Ruby answered firmly. “I’ll remember.”   
  
Kanan realized something and looked to Chika. “If you change the past you’ll be the only one who remembers, I think. Will you remember to kiss me?”   
  
Chika took Kanan’s face in her hands and kissed Kanan softly. “Yes, I’ll remember.”   
  
Riko grimaced and looked away. So she had no chance, with anyone. “Great…”   
  
“What?” Kanan frowned at Riko who sat up straight.    
  
“N-Nothing! Sorry, I just...the closest thing I’ve ever had to a girlfriend has forgotten about me.” Riko said with a sigh. “And you were talking about being disappointed if you ended up with me so…”   
  
“Ah, i-it’s not you, Riko-chan!” Chika said hurriedly, horrified by her mistake. “Anyone would be lucky to be with you. It’s just that I’m in love with Kanan-chan. Just wait, I’m going to help you find someone, I promise! Someone WAY better than Yazawa Nico.”   
  
“She was a model.” Riko said dryly.    
  
“So I’ll find you someone who looks like MY girlfriend.” Chika said smugly, pointing toward herself.    
  
“Chika.” Kanan rolled her eyes though she felt her face warm at the compliment. “Come on, I’m no model. Oh, what about Hanamaru for Riko though?”   
  
“What?” Riko asked blankly. “I can’t date Hanamaru. Is she even gay? Or bisexual?”   
  
“Ruby notices she looks at Yoshiko-chan a lot.” Ruby answered thoughtfully, taking the others by surprise.    
  
“Even them?” You exclaimed, wide-eyed. “Wow. I figured Hanamaru was too innocent and Yoshiko was too busy with her fallen angel bit.”   
  
Ruby nodded solemnly. “Hanamaru-chan even gets jealous when Yoshiko-chan attracts other girls.”   
  
“Eeeh? How did I miss that?!” You shook her head in disdain.   
  
“Why do you think she hits her over the head all of the time?”   
  
“Or tackles her to get her to be quiet…” You said thoughtfully. “Come to think of it I did once notice Hanamaru-chan blush when she was watching Yoshiko-chan stretch…”   
  
“Anyway!” Chika exclaimed, interrupting You’s realization. “We need to find Riko-chan a girlfriend when this is over. But the point is, I don’t know what to do!”   
  
The group was silent for a moment before You spoke up. “What about Arisa-chan? She’s cute.”   
  
“HELL NO!” Riko exclaimed, quickly shaking her head.    
  
“Uh...Sarah-san?”   
  
“No!”   
  
“Um, let’s see...Leah?”   
  
“No!” Ruby said quickly only to receive confused looks from the others. You looked a little hurt too, she noticed with a wince. “I-I just mean that you need to be patient with Leah-chan at first.”   
  
“Yukiho-san?” You suggested with a shrug.    
  
“Doesn’t she have a boyfriend?” Kanan interjected.    
  
“She could be bi.” You pointed.    
  
“True…” Chika paused, thinking about something. “Are you...bi, You-chan?”   
  
“Me? No.” You laughed at that and shook her head. “Are you?”   
  
Chika shook her head and looked to Kanan who also shook her head. “So we’re all…?”   
  
“I think I might be.” Ruby piped up, earning herself yet more surprised looks. “W-What? I mean I don’t know, I haven’t been attracted to a-a boy before so...I’m just saying I might be.”   
  
You groaned and fell onto her back. “Am I going to have to worry about boys too?”   
  
“You sound like my Onee-chan.” Ruby pointed out, looking down at You.    
  
Kanan couldn’t help but laugh at that. “You don’t want to sound like a girl’s sister if you’re trying to get into her...mmph!” Her eyes widened as Chika clamped a hand over her mouth.    
  
“PG, Kanan-chan.” Chika warned, lowering her hand.    
  
“Oh come on, she’s a teenager like all of us.” Kanan said with a roll of her eyes. She gestured to a pouting Ruby. “See? Now you’ve made her mad!”   
  
“EH?!”   
  
“Panties.” Ruby provided with an innocent smile. “That’s what Kanan-chan was going to say. I know that.”   
  
You shot up, her eyes suddenly going wide. “Wait, why do we have our own room?”   
  
Ruby smiled mysteriously. “Ruby will tell you later.”   
  
Riko quirked an eyebrow. “I’m starting to think she might be the experienced one. H-Hey, You-chan, do you think you’re...you know, an um…?”   
  
“Bottom.” Kanan laughed loudly at the look on You’s face only for Chika to lightly swat her. “Ouch, what?”   
  
“Come to think of it…” You buried her head in her hands and groaned. “Damn it. I can be a power bottom!”   
  
Ruby leaned over and whispered huskily into You’s ear. “Ruby would like that. You’re too easy to top even when we’re making out.”   
  
“Oh, come ON!” You blushed crimson right to the tips of her ears. “I’m not that bad.”   
  
“We’ll see.” Ruby smiled, lightly nudging You.    
  
“Wow, Dia is going to want to kill you when we get home.” Kanan said in amusement, unable to wipe the smirk from her face.    
  
You groaned into her hands.    
  
\----   
  
You’s stomach fluttered with apprehension as she made her way into her hotel room with Ruby behind her. She was sure Dia wouldn’t have allowed Ruby to book two seperate rooms if she’d know what her younger sister was up to.    
  
“It’s been a long day, huh?” You faked a yawn rather exaggeratedly as she strode over to the bed. She vaguely heard Ruby lock the hotel room door behind them. “And we have to wake up early tomorrow, to get back home. We should probably go straight to bed.”   
  
“Hmm?” Ruby’s voice called from behind her. “Did you say something?”   
  
“Uh...bed?” You sat on the bed to wait for Ruby. They were both already in their pajamas so she just had to wait for Ruby to agree to her plan. She regretted her decision immediately, tensing as Ruby strode over to her with a sway in her hips.    
  
Ruby climbed onto You’s lap, straddling her thigh and wrapped her arms around her shoulders. “I don’t want to go to bed yet, You-chan.”   
  
“H-Huh?!” You sputtered in surprise. She closed her eyes as she felt the collar of her hoodie being pulled down and then as Ruby leaned in, felt hot breath on her skin. She bit her lip as Ruby’s lips brushed against the sensitive tips of her ears. “W-What…?”   
  
Ruby smirked. She knew that You was enjoying what she was doing. The girl’s body was arching and she’d automatically tilted her head to give Ruby more room. The redhead lightly nipped at You’s ear, drawing a startled gasp from her.    
  
Smug about the reaction, Ruby leaned down and kissed lightly at You’s neck and collarbone, relishing in the feeling of soft skin beneath her lips.    
  
“R-Ruby-chan, I-I don’t think we should be doing this…” You admitted as Ruby’s hands went to her hoodie. It was slowly unzipped and she watched as Ruby leaned back to watch as it was opened.    
  
You’s hands twitched at her sides. It felt wrong to sit there and do nothing but she couldn’t let herself reciprocate. She was meant to be the responsible one. “Ruby-chan?”   
  
Ruby slowly pushed You’s hoodie off of her shoulders, her hands tracing You’s shoulders and arms in it’s wake. “Do you want to stop?”   
  
You gritted her teeth. She hadn’t expected that question. She didn’t want to answer it either way.    
  
Ruby noticed the torn look on You’s face and kissed her gently. “You-chan doesn’t have to do anything. Just let me touch you. It’d make me feel good too. I just want to touch you. All of you.”   
  
You swallowed thickly. Slowly, she nodded her head. Before You could second guess her decision she felt herself being pushed roughly to the bed, a hand already pushing her thin sleep shirt off. She realized she hadn’t been wearing a bra, considering the fact that she’d been about to go to bed but that was quickly forgot when a knee slid up between her legs, rubbing against her. She flushed with embarrassment as a moan escaped her. She was sure her panties and shorts were already sticky with need. “Ruby-chan…”   
  
Ruby kissed You to silence her, her hand going up to cup You’s left breast. She felt You whimper against her lips and smirked in satisfaction. She rubbed her palm back and forth, delighting in the whimpers and moans she managed to draw from the girl beneath her. She felt in control and confident. More confident than she’d felt in a long time.    
  
“R-Ruby-chan…” You groaned as Ruby pulled away from her only to move down, kissing at her throat and further down to her chest and breasts. She gasped as Ruby sucked hard at the soft skin there. “Ah! Ruby-chan!”   
  
“S-Sorry.” Worry flashed briefly over Ruby’s face. “Did that hurt?”   
  
“Yeah.” You panted, her hips grinding toward Ruby’s thigh. “Yeah, it did.”   
  
Ruby hesitated. “But...you liked it, right?” A sly grin formed on her face when You nodded. Quickly, she went back to what she was doing, nipping and sucking at soft skin. She felt You begin to grind faster against her thigh but held back a bit herself, not wanting things to move too quickly.    
  
“Fu…” You bit down hard on her lip as Ruby’s tongue brushed repeatedly over her nipple. Her skin felt far too warm, a strange heat coiling in her lower stomach. “Ruby. Ruby-chan.”   
  
Ruby’s fingers teased the hem of You’s shorts. “You-chan.”   
  
“Please.” You said breathlessly, her hips jerking upwards into Ruby’s touch. “Please, just do it. I want it.”   
  
Ruby grinned and slid her hand into You’s shorts.    
  
\-----   
  
Riko groaned miserably into her pillow. “Damn it, You-chan. She’s never going to live down being a bottom, is she?”   
  
“Mari and I are going to tease her forever!” Kanan piped up excitedly.    
  
“Kanan-chan!” Chika scolded her girlfriend, trying to block out the sounds from the next room.    
  
“What? It’s hilarious. Dia is a bottom and her younger sister is a devious dom.” Kanan replied in amusement. She turned over in the bed to get her phone and text Mari. “Wait until Mari-chan hears this…”   
  
Chika sighed but said nothing for a long moment. Finally after another few seconds of listening to You’s moaning from the next room she sighed again. “I hope there’s nobody else in the room on the other side of You-chan.”   
  
Kanan suddenly let out a loud laugh and Chika glanced at her in confusion. “What…?” She flinched in surprise when a bright phone screen was suddenly held in front of her. She blinked to focus on it and read the text from Mari. “That’s my shining Ruby, I knew she was dom…” She sighed and shook her head. “You-chan better hope Dia-san doesn’t find out.”   
  
Kanan snorted in amusement. “She’d better run if Dia does.”   
  
  
“Is this it?” Raven asked, pulling up outside of the building Nico had directed him to. He leaned toward the steering wheel, looking up at it. It was a tall building with glass windows. Maybe about twenty floors, he supposed. He let out a low whistle. “I knew you were famous but this place is really nice.”   
  
“Uh...thanks?” Nico asked unsurely as she unclipped her seatbelt. They’d almost set off without her wearing it Raven had insisted she put it on.    
  
“Maybe I can get a drink from that cafe while I wait for you.” Raven mused to himself as he looked over to the small cafe across the street.    
  
“Wait for me?” Nico echoed skeptically. She shook her head. “No waiting, you’re coming in with me. I want to show you where I work. Besides, I don’t mind you watching me.”   
  
“Really?” Raven raised an eyebrow in response. He was sure watching her model would be fairly boring but it was nice of her to invite him. “Oh. Okay, sure.”   
  
“Great!” Nico smiled brightly and got out of the car. She waited for him to get out too before she walked toward the doors ahead of them. “Come on, I want you to meet Kei.”   
  
Raven followed behind her, pocketing his keys. He glanced mournfully back to the cafe but quickly brushed it off. He had promised Hanayo he would make an effort with Nico and Nico herself seemed to be really trying too.    
  
The two of them got into the elevator together and headed up to the tenth floor in silence. As soon as they got out of the elevator a woman called out to Nico.    
  
“Oh, finally! I thought I’d have to call you! What the hell did you get yourself into?! Nevermind that, we’ll deal with the tabloids later. Right now, get into make-up and...oh hello there. And you are?”   
  
Raven’s eyes widened when he realized the woman was speaking to him. “I’m Raven Evergreen. It’s...nice to meet you, um…”   
  
“Kei.” Nico whispered to him.    
  
“Oh, foreign blood. What size are you?” Kei looked him over, sizing him up.    
  
“...huh?”   
  
“Fumiko, Nami, check him out.” Kei ordered, waving two of her assistants over.    
  
The blonde woman who approached looked Raven over. “He’s lean, tall...what’s your thoughts?”   
  
The other woman who had shoulder length red hair and amber eyes nodded thoughtfully. “Muscular. What do you do?”   
  
“I’m um...a cop.” Raven answered, glancing unsurely at Nico. She looked as baffled as he felt.    
  
“Close enough.” Kei announced with a nod. “Get him to make-up and wardrobe.”   
  
“Kei, what the hell?” Nico exclaimed as Fumiko and Nami seized an arm each and dragged Raven off.    
  
“You get into the damn evening gown now!” Kei snapped, pointing across the room. “Move it.”   
  
Nico rolled her eyes. “Bossy as ever, I see.”   
  
“Only when you’re being a pain in my butt, Nico. Shoo! The photographer will be waiting for you both.”   
  
Nico sighed. She didn’t mean to drag him into this mess, she’d just wanted to show him where she worked. “What happened to Kaoru?”    
  
“Cancelled.” Kei answered with a shrug of her shoulders. “I was lucky you brought a friend, which is rare now that I think about it. Is he your…?”   
  
“Oh my god, can we not?” Nico said with a roll of her eyes. “I’ve had enough of rumors!” She turned on her heel and went to her dressing room without another word to Kei. She let herself in, closing the door behind her and sighed in relief at the fact that she could finally have a moment to breathe. She went through the motions of getting ready, noticing three dresses hanging up, all with numbers. She put on the first as directed, a long pale blue dress with a halter. She glanced at the other two, noticing a ruby red strapless dress was the second she had to wear. The third was white with spaghetti straps.    
  
She let herself zone out for a short while as her make-up artist went through the motions of doing her make-up to her usual perfection. Nico supposed she was lucky, that she was used to this otherwise she supposed it would seem like it was taking longer. She thought of Raven with a twinge of guilt. He probably disliked her more now that she’d dragged him into this.    
  
She thanked her make-up artist when she was done and checking herself briefly in the mirror, nodded her approval.    
  
“Nico-chan, are you ready?!”   
  
“Yeah, yeah. I’m coming.” Nico rolled her eyes at Kei and straightened up. She checked herself one more time, checking her posture. Backed arched, chest out, strap heels on to make her look a bit taller. She grimaced. “The red one better be more comfortable than this…”   
  
She left the room, finding Kei waiting for her outside. The older woman nodded in approval before she beckoned for Nico to follow her. Nico did so, walking behind her until they came to the actual set. She found Raven waiting for her and paused in surprise. He was wearing a pinstripe grey suit with a periwinkle blue vest, a white shirt and a dark blue tie with grey leather loafers to top it off.   
  
“I can’t believe they did this to my hair.” Raven huffed when he saw Nico. He motioned to his hair which which was now slicked back and Nico suppressed a laugh.    
  
“It looks good. Hanayo has good taste.”   
  
“What?” Raven blushed and looked away, shoving his hands into his pockets again. “Ah, this is so not my kind of thing…”   
  
“Sorry about this.” Nico said apologetically as she walked over to him. “I’ll treat you to lunch after. Anywhere you want.”   
  
“It’s fine.” Raven paused for a moment, smirking. “ _ Anywhere _ I want?”   
  
“Within reason.” Nico replied, playfully narrowing her eyes. “But sure.”   
  
Raven took a moment to look Nico up and down. “So this is you in full model mode? You look...as cliche as it might sound, you look beautiful.”   
  
Nico bit her lip to hide a smile. “You look handsome too.”   
  
Raven laughed nervously and shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t know about that.”   
  
“Okay, Nico-chan and Raven-kun, right?” The photographer asked, fiddling with her camera as she stepped forward. “Time to start. Raven-kun, get behind Nico-chan and put your arm around her waist.”   
  
Raven’s eyes went wide. “What?!”   
  
“Calm down.” Nico lightly touched his arm. “I won’t mind, just leave it to me. Go ahead.”   
  
“Um…” Raven did as he was asked, moving behind her.    
  
“Give me your left hand.” Nico waited until he did so before she drew his arm around her waist. “Try to relax, okay?”   
  
“Look at the camera, both of you. And Raven-kun, be like…’she’s with me’.” The photographer explained, raising the camera. “And Nico-chan, you can be a little possessive. You’re supposed to be a healthy couple, blue is for fidelity!”   
  
“Like this?” Nico turned more toward Raven, placing her hand on his chest.    
  
“Yes!” The photographer exclaimed brightly. “Now both of you, give me a smile. But not too wide.”   
  
“Relax.” Nico reminded Raven softly, noticing he seemed too nervous to muster a smile. She playfully drummed her fingers against his chest. “Think about how much money you’re going to make me spend on lunch.”   
  
That, at least, was enough to get a smile out of him.    
  
The camera went off with a flash but Raven pointedly ignored it. He glanced down briefly at Nico, noticing the smile on her face was genuine. His smile grew at the fact that he had managed to put it there. It seemed Nico spent a lot of her time faking being happy. At least to him it seemed that way.    
  
“Yes, that’s the smile!” The camerawoman gushed enthusiastically. “She’s totally yours. Just keep acting natural. Pretend I’m not even here.”   
  
\-----   
  
The door to Kotori’s room flew open and Kotori almost choked on the wine she’d been drinking. She scrambled to cover the several pictures scattered on the bed in front her while also trying to hide the bottle she was drinking from.    
  
“Can’t you knock?!” She snapped as Umi stepped into the room. She grimaced when Umi flinched in response. “Oh my god. Umi-chan, I-I’m sorry, it’s just...not a good time right now. What’s wrong? Did you need something?”   
  
Umi shook her head. “I came to check on you. Can I come in?”   
  
“Well...no, I’m…” Kotori sighed as Umi shut the door and walked further into the room. “Can it not wait until later?”   
  
“No.” Umi seemed to take a deep breath to steel herself as she stopped next to Kotori’s bed. As she looked Kotori over though she paused hesitantly. “Um...how are you?”   
  
“Fine.” Kotori said softly, her hand still pressed to the blanket she’d pulled over the photos in front of her. The bottle of wine she’d been drinking from remained in her lap, covered by the blanket too. “Are you okay?”   
  
“Me? Y-Yeah, I’m fine. We’re not talking about me right now.” Umi’s voice was oddly firm and Kotori raised a questioning eyebrow.    
  
“What are we talking about then?”   
  
“You, Kotori.”   
  
Kotori’s brow furrowed slightly. “I’m fine.”   
  
“No, you’re not. You’re drinking. Alone.” Umi gestured to Kotori’s lap. “Talk to me.”   
  
“Ah, guess I don’t have to hide this anymore then…” Kotor mused to herself as she pushed the blankets away from the bottle of wine. She lifted it to her lips, taking a drink. “Don’t tell Maki-chan, she’ll only worry.”   
  
“Kotori, I’m worried about you.” Umi admitted. She shook her head when Kotori offered her the bottle. “How long have you been drinking?”   
  
Kotori shrugged her shoulders. “I’m not an alcoholic, Umi-chan. If that’s what you’re asking. I just need something to take my mind off things someti-”   
  
“Things like wha-?”   
  
“DON’T!” Kotori yelled as Umi moved to sit down in front of her. Startled, Umi bolted back to her feet.    
  
“W-What?!”   
  
Kotori gritted her teeth, tears prickling at the corners of her eyes. “Can you just leave me alone? Please? I need to be alone.”   
  
“No.” Umi frowned. She felt herself tremble at the volume of Kotori’s voice but she was determined to help her. “I’m not going anywhere. Just tell me what’s wrong. Just…” She noticed the blanket Kotori had been clutching and reached down to pull it away.    
  
“S-STOP IT, UMI-CHAN!” Kotori grasped weakly at the blanket but Umi managed to pull it out of her grip. She gasped as photographs she’d kept of herself, Honoka and Umi as well as the entirety of Muse together fell to the ground. Desperately she dove to the ground to retrieve them, clutching them to her chest.    
  
“Kotori.” Umi’s voice was soft and sympathetic. She crouched down next to Kotori, gently touching her shoulder. “It’s okay to be upset, it’s okay to cry.”   
  
“IT’S NOT!” Kotori cried out, her teary eyes seeking out Umi’s. “It’s not, it’s...it’s weak! I can’t be weak, I-I have to strong for Maki-chan and…” She looked down at the photograph in her hands, a choked sob escaping her throat. “Honoka would want me to be strong.”   
  
The door opened across the room and Umi looked up, finding Maki standing in the doorway. The redhead’s eyes widened at the sight of Kotori crying on the floor and she started to go to her only to pause when Umi held her hand up.    
  
“Don’t. Please, you’ll only make it worse.” Umi said, pleading with Maki not to come closer. She wasn’t surprised Maki had been disturbed by Kotori’s yelling. “Just leave her with me, I’ve got her.”   
  
Maki looked torn for a moment. She couldn’t imagine just leaving Kotori as she was. Reluctantly though, she backed out of the room. She couldn’t do anything for Kotori that Umi couldn’t do, it seemed. She was certain she couldn’t even do what Umi could do.    
  
“Kotori.” Umi turned back to Kotori, gently gripping her shoulders. “Kotori, look at me.” She waited until Kotori’s eyes met hers once more. “I’m here, okay? I’m here and I’m not going anywhere, I promise. I’m never going to leave you again.”   
  
“I miss Honoka-chan so much.” Kotori’s voice was shaky as she clutched the photograph of Honoka to her chest. “I feel like...like a part of me is missing without her.”   
  
“I know.” Umi gently drew Kotori into a tight hug. She felt the girl’s hand pressed against her chest, the photograph of the three of them together held between them. She blinked against her own tears. Now was the time to be strong, not weak. “I feel that way too. You don’t need to hide from me. I’m here.”   
  
Kotori buried her face into Umi’s shoulder, her other hand reaching up to grasp the girl’s shirt as she cried softly for what felt like the first time in years.    
  
\-----   
  
Raven couldn’t help but wonder how much longer the modelling would go on. It wasn’t terrible by any means. He felt a lot more relaxed that he had at the start, considering Nico was doing her best to calm him.    
  
He was waiting where he’d stood earlier when Nico finally emerged from her dressing room and made her way over to him. He looked her over with a small smile. “You look nice. Again. Your dress matches your eyes.”   
  
“Yeah, so do your tie and vest.” Nico replied, nodding to his red tie and vest. “At least your hair isn’t slicked back anymore.”   
  
“Yeah.” Raven chuckled, resisting the urge to run a hand through his hair. While it wasn’t styled back anymore he knew a lot of effort had gone into making it look like it did. Messy, but a little bit spiked up too. “Your hair looks nice too, it’s really...wavy.”   
  
Nico laughed at the odd compliment. She did have her hair down now, falling in waves around her shoulders. “Thanks.”   
  
“Be as aggressive and playful as you can for red.” The camerawoman ordered, setting up her camera again. “It’s all about passion, about the energy that makes you enjoy each other’s company.”   
  
Nico smiled. “So we have free reign?”   
  
“Yep.”   
  
Nico smirked and turned to the taller boy. She stepped toward him and reached up to his chest, untucking his tie from his vest. She gripped it tightly and tugged him toward her. His hand went instinctively to her waist, their eyes locked. He looked briefly surprised but seemed to school his expression quite quickly.    
  
Nico smirked at him, still holding onto his tie as the photographer snapped pictures of them. “Cat got your tongue?”   
  
Raven rolled his eyes and dipped her down, bracing her with one hand on her upper back. “Nope.” he felt somewhat smug about Nico’s surprised look but then she curled her leg around his waist and he felt his brain short-circuit.    
  
“THERE IT IS!” The photographer exclaimed excitedly. “Nico-chan always upping the sexiness!”   
  
“Nico.” Raven whispered, hoping he wasn’t blushing. Not wanting to be outdone, he straightened up , holding her a couple of centimetres from him. He felt her arms slid around his neck, her fingers snaking into his hair. He pressed forward, his forehead touching hers. He had to admit, it was a bit fun, the two of them trying to get the better of each other. Though in the back of his mind, he recalled that she was dating his girlfriend now, he wasn’t focusing on it as much.    
  
“OH MY GOD, HE’S BOLDER THAN KAORU!” The camerawoman gushed.    
  
Raven smiled sheepishly as intense red eyes flicked up to meet his green. He noticed she was blushing and felt a little victorious about the fact that he’d managed to make her do that. From what he’d heard about her and what he’d watched over the past week or so she didn’t seem like the type to be easily embarrassed.    
  
“Hanayo’s going to lose it if she sees these pictures.” Raven mentioned with a soft laugh. He was starting to think that Nico wasn’t so bad after all. Maybe he’d misjudged her when he’d first met her.    
  
“She’ll probably jump us.” Nico joked as the photographer called for a break. She sighed in relief and slowly broke away from Raven whose hands fell back to his sides.    
  
“We can split the cost of lunch.” Raven said, his hands going back into the pockets of his skinny black trousers.    
  
Nico looked confused. “Huh?”   
  
“Well I mean, it was meant to be a way of you paying me back for this, right?” Raven flashed her a smile. “This wasn’t so bad. It’s been pretty fun actually.”   
  
“Really?” Nico raised an eyebrow, amused by the admission.    
  
“Yeah, maybe we could...you know, be friends.” Raven proposed hopefully. “We should probably try, with both of being…” He stepped closer, jokingly lowering his voice to a whisper. “Members of Hanayo’s harem.”   
  
Nico laughed loudly at the comment and lightly slapped his arm. “Seriously?”   
  
“Come on, it has a ring to it.” Raven grinned but quickly turned serious. “I’m serious about being friends though.”   
  
“Sure.” Nico glanced toward the photographer, noticing the woman still watching them. “Ah, we should probably get lunch now and then we can model the white outfits and then head home. Let’s go.” She grabbed his hand and tugged him toward the elevator.    
  
“Eh?! In this?!” Raven exclaimed, looking down at himself.    
  
“Let them be jealous of our fashion.” Nico said with a careless shrug of her shoulders. She hardly cared what anyone else thought.    
  
\---   
TBC   
  
  



	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the comments and kudos etc. Hope you guys enjoy this chapter! :)
> 
> Warning(s): Angst, self injury suggestions/references, sexual scenes (maybe).

Maki glared in irritation at the books strewn all over her desk. She’d been studying for a few hours when she had heard Kotori yelling from the next room. Although she’d run straight to her, there was nothing she could do to help. As always, it seemed. Umi had even said that she would just make the situation worse by being there.    
  
She glanced up as the door to her office opened but she didn’t put the cigarette between her fingers down. She knew it wouldn’t be Kotori and she didn’t give a damn about what anyone else thought of her.    
  
Rin did a double-take at the sight of Maki smoking. She sighed and closed the door, shaking her head. “Idiot. You’re meant to be a doctor and you’re  _ smoking _ ? It’s so bad for your health, it’ll ruin your lungs and your voice. You’ll never sing again at this rate.”   
  
“Are you done?” Maki leaned back as Rin tried to reach over the desk to take the cigarette from her. “And for the record I don’t plan to sing again.”   
  
“Damn it, Maki. Don’t be crazy. I’ve had enough of crazy!” Rin stopped trying to reach for the cigarette but glared as Maki took another draw from it. “I’ve had enough of crazy with Hanayo.”   
  
“Hanayo?” Maki raised an eyebrow. “You never call her that.”    
  
“I’m ANGRY!” Rin exclaimed loudly. “I’m so…”   
  
“Wait, wait.” Maki held up her hand to interrupt Rin. “Stop, please. I don’t want to know.”   
  
“What?!” Rin glared at Maki who stared back at her blankly. “Jeez, you’re in a bad mood tonight.”   
  
“I’m not in a bad mood, just...what do you want, Rin?” Maki sighed and leaned forward again, bracing her elbows against her desk. “I’m trying to think.”   
  
Rin darted forward, taking the cigarette from Maki’s lips. “HA!” She searched for somewhere to put the cigarette out, eventually deciding to stub it out on the edge of the trash can. “So are we going to talk about what’s wrong?”   
  
Maki glared angrily at Rin who leaned forward and flicked the redhead’s forehead. “You don’t scare me anymore, Maki-chan. Tell me what’s going on. And don’t think you can throw me out either. I told you, me and Kayo-chin are here for you now.”   
  
“I’m a failure…”   
  
“Hmm?” Rin tilted her head to the side.    
  
“I’M A DAMN FAILURE!” Maki stood up, gripping the edge of the desk. She felt like she wanted to flip it in frustration. Her studying hardly matter now, her books long since forgotten about.    
  
“Okay.” Rin said calmly. “What do you mean by that? Who did you fail?”   
  
“Kotori. She’s been...she’s been hiding all of her pain from me. Am I THAT selfish?!” Maki hit her desk with the side of her hand, furious with herself.   
  
“Yes.”   
  
Maki paused at the simple answer. “What…?”   
  
“You’re a spoiled brat.” Rin said simply, placing her hands on her hips as Maki gaped at her. “You have a heart of gold but you are selfish. Your obsession made Kotori-chan hide what she was feeling. You need to let it go and move on. Let your own feelings connect to Kotori.”   
  
Maki sank back down into her seat. “It’s not that easy. She doesn’t trust me to see her...vulnerable. Not like she trusts Umi.”   
  
“Ah you’re jealous of Umi-chan!” Rin said as if she’d figured something out.    
  
“I’m...I’m not jealous of Umi!” Maki shook her head and sighed heavily, leaning back in her chair. “I just want Kotori to be as open with me as I feel like I can be with her.”   
  
“Well...I don’t let Emily see everything I feel.” Rin said thoughtfully. “And I don’t think Kayo-chin lets Raven-kun see everything she feels so…”   
  
“It’s different!” Maki insisted stubbornly. “It’s me and Kotori, it’s...it’s different.”   
  
“So maybe you should talk to her about it.” Rin suggested quietly, shrugging her shoulders. “Tell her how you really feel.”   
  
“What am I supposed to say?” Maki groaned, rubbing her forehead. “I’m so bad with relationships, Rin.”   
  
“Well...you can’t be as bad as you think. You’ve been with Kotori for almost three years now.” Rin reminded Maki, hoping it would make her feel better. “Have you ever split up?”   
  
“No…”   
  
“Then just tell her how you feel!” Rin exclaimed in frustration. “For the love of the gods and spirits, tell her what you feel now. Tell her you feel more stable because of her. She sacrificed her own feelings for yours so if she helped you when you were at your lowest point, TELL her it was her who pieced you back together. Just let her know it’s okay for her to show you how she’s feeling now. I mean something as simple as thank you. Have you ever said that to her?”   
  
Maki grimly shook her head. “No.”   
  
“Maki, you spoiled brat!” Rin sighed and shook her head in annoyance. “God, you really are an egomaniac.”   
  
Maki frowned up at Rin. “How do you know that?”   
  
“I take psychology.”   
  
“What?!”   
  
“The way I see it is Kotori has given up a lot for you. Because she knew how much Honoka-chan meant to you. She knew you loved her.” Rin’s voice softened slightly as Maki looked away, biting her lip. “You just need to let her know she can open up to you.”   
  
Maki slowly rose to her feet. “I’m going for a walk, I-I need to think.” She slipped past Rin and left the room, trying to ignore the sobbing she could still hear from her room.    
  
\-----   
  
“Are you done with the onions?” Nico called as she stirred the nikujaga she was cooking. She didn’t look away from the pan but she felt someone step close to her side and a moment later a chopping board appeared in front of her.    
  
Raven scraped the onions from the chopping board with the back of the knife he’d been using to cut them before he set the board aside. He watched as Nico placed the pan lid in place atop the pan. “Now what?”   
  
“You don’t cook much, huh?” Nico asked in amusement. She turned to him. “Now we wait for thirty minutes or so. It should be done by then.”   
  
“Oh, here.” Raven reached up, noticing a lash on her cheek under her eye. He gently wiped it onto his thumb and held it up for her, smiling broadly. “Make a wish.”   
  
Nico raised an eyebrow. “What?”   
  
“A wish. Come on, you have to.”   
  
“Is this some kind of foreign thing?” Nico asked skeptically, glancing down at the lash on his thumb.    
  
“Yes. Just make a wish and blow on it.”   
  
Nico blushed but did as she was asked, blowing on the lash. “Happy?”   
  
“What are you two doing?”    
  
Nico and Raven looked up at the sound of Hanayo’s voice. Neither of them had heard her get home but they had been expecting her. She’d been at Maki’s apartment all day, they knew.    
  
“Hey.” Nico stepped forward and hugged Hanayo briefly before breaking away. “We’re making dinner, what does it look like?”   
  
“Like you’re making dinner together.” Hanayo accepted the exuberant embrace Raven swept her up in with a soft laugh. “You don’t cook.”   
  
“I’m just helping, don’t worry.”   
  
“I trust him more than Maki.” Nico said, leaning back against the counter. “So you should really be praising him, Hanayo.”   
  
“I’ll take that as a compliment, shorty.” Raven quipped, glancing at her.    
  
Hanayo froze. Nico hated being reminded of her height. Not that she was as short as she had been anymore.    
  
Nico merely rolled her eyes though. “Whatever, good cop.”   
  
“Does that mean you’re the bad cop?” Hanayo asked, raising an eyebrow at them.    
  
“Damn straight, I am.” Nico smugly crossed her arms in front of her chest. “Especially when we double team.”   
  
Hanayo smiled at the two of them. “I guess today went well then?”   
  
“Today?” Raven echoed, glancing at Nico. They had promised they wouldn’t say anything about it until she saw the pictures. Nico had mentioned it would be funny to see her reaction and Raven had to agree. “Yeah, I guess. It was fun.”   
  
“Fun?” Hanayo echoed in surprise.    
  
Nico sidestepped to get closer to him and lightly pinched his arm in warning. “I bought him lunch.”   
  
“Hey, I wanted to pay half.” Raven frowned at her, rubbing his arm.    
  
“Yeah, until you told me how much your salary is.” Nico countered with a roll of her eyes. “How could I make you pay for your own lunch?”   
  
“I’m a big boy, I can manage.”   
  
“Well, your face when you saw the prices said otherwise.” Nico smirked, earning herself an offended look. “What? I’m just saying.”   
  
“I didn’t know you’d take me somewhere so expensive.” Raven remarked. He heard Hanayo’s phone ping but paid no attention to it. “I thought we’d go to a cheap cafe.”   
  
“Oh hey, the magazine has uploaded some pictures of your shoot today, Nico-chan.” Hanayo mentioned as she unlocked her phone. She didn’t notice the attention of both Nico and Raven snap toward her.    
  
“Let me see.” Nico moved forward and tried to take the phone but Hanayo was taller and easily held it out of reach. “Hey, good cop. Do something!”   
  
“Ah, sorry.” Raven shrugged from where he was standing.    
  
“Holy shit…” Hanayo gaped at her phone screen. “W-Why is he...why are you two so close? Wha...Nico-chan is that you leg? Raven, y-you’re kissing her palm.” She scrolled down, catching sight of a picture of Nico pulling Raven toward him by his tie. “Whoa, this is hot…”   
  
Raven and Nico shared a look, their faces flushed with embarrassment.    
  
“Her agent made me do it.” Raven piped up, deciding she needed an explanation. “It was pretty fun but it’s not like it was planned or...are you listening?”   
  
“Huh?”   
  
Nico rolled her eyes. “There’ll be more when it’s released. We had three outfits.”   
  
“There’s only red and white. The last outfit must be really good.” Hanayo looked up at the two thoughtfully. “You two should make out.”   
  
“HANAYO!” Nico exclaimed loudly while Raven looked away, blushing all the way to his ears.    
  
“What? I’m the harem leader.” Hanayo joked, a small smile tugging at her lips. “Come on, please? For me?”   
  
Nico groaned and grabbed Raven’s shirt, pulling him into a brief kiss, barely even five seconds. It was just a peck, nothing more than that. “Happy?”   
  
Hanayo happily clapped her hands together. “So cute. You two are so cute and all mine!”   
  
Raven touched his lips, still blushing. “Um…”   
  
“What?” Nico asked a little defensively. “It was just a quick kiss, come on.”   
  
Raven cleared his throat, deciding not to argue with her. “I wasn’t complaining.” He muttered under his breath.    
  
Nico huffed and rolled her eyes. She bit her lip, trying to rid herself of the tingling feeling in them before she turned her attention back to Hanayo who was staring at her phone again. “She really is a pervert…”   
  
Raven laughed and turned back to the stove, pretending to check on dinner while avoiding looking at Nico.    
  
\-----   
  
Kanan was walking down the corridor with Chika when she spotted Dia and Mari ahead of them, walking toward her. They were walking quickly, Mari seeming to be jogging a little to catch up to Dia. “Hey where are you two…”   
  
“No time!” Mari exclaimed loudly as Dia moved past Kanan without answering her question.    
  
Kanan noticed Dia looked angry on the way past. She looked to Chika nervously.    
  
“Go ahead.” Chika said with a soft smile.   
  
Kanan squeezed Chika’s hand before she turned and followed Dia and Mari quickly down the corridor. “Hey, what’s going on?”   
  
“I’m going to...have a firm discussion with You-san, that’s what’s going on.” Dia said, clearly fuming.    
  
Kanan looked at Mari through wide eyes. “You told her?! Seriously?!”   
  
Mari shrugged innocently. “I’m not going to lie to her.”   
  
Kanan shook her head in confusion. “Why not?” She turned her attention to Dia, deciding she would have more or a chance of reasoning with her than Mari had. “Dia, you need to calm down. You know how Ruby can be, she’s stubborn and…”   
  
Dia threw open the door to the clubroom. “YOU-SAN!”   
  
You bolted to her feet as Dia stepped into the room. She’d been sitting next to Ruby holding her hand but she promptly dropped it. “Y-Yes?!”   
  
“What did you do to my sister?” Dia growled as she stepped into the room. She didn’t notice Kanan and Mari step in with her, the former closing the door for some privacy.    
  
“O-Other way around, Dia-san!” You said quickly, her eyes widening as Dia got closer. She was relieved that they were separated by a desk at least. “Ah, b-but it’s not the point. What I meant to say is I-I um…” She took a deep breath to calm herself. “I really like Ruby-chan and I would never do anything to hurt her. I know you’re not happy with us being together but it would mean a lot to Ruby-chan...and me if you gave us your blessing.”   
  
Kanan raised an eyebrow, impressed that You had managed to get through that.    
  
Dia continued to glare.    
  
“You-chan.” Ruby said softly, grasping You’s hand again. She turned her attention pleadingly to Dia. “Please Onee-chan? I really like You-chan and I know she likes me back just as much. She makes me happy.”   
  
Dia let out a heavy sigh and looked away, calming a little. “I suppose...out of everyone I know, you’re the person I would trust most with Ruby, You-san.”   
  
“Whoa, really?” You’s eyes widened in surprise. She hadn’t expected Dia to come out with that at all. “But I thought you hated...this.”   
  
“I hated that you weren’t being honest with me about your intentions.” Dia answered quietly. “I trust you with Ruby. Even if you are a bit too...popular with the girls.”   
  
“Ah, I can’t help that.” You said sheepishly. “I-I wouldn’t cheat on Ruby-chan though, I’d be crazy to. I-”   
  
“Quiet.” Dia ordered, causing You to instantly fall silent. “You have my blessing. But if you hurt her…”   
  
“I won’t.” You promised. She watched with a small smile as Ruby let go of her hand and skirted around the desk to hug her sister.    
  
Kanan sighed in relief. That could have turned out a lot worse for You.    
  
\----   
  
Hanayo excused herself from the table at the sound of someone knocking at the door. She walked giddily to the door. Nico and Raven were still sitting in the kitchen, eating breakfast together. They seemed to be getting along quite well, she thought. She hadn’t thought they would even agree with her suggestion but it seemed they were actually making an effort to get along.    
  
She opened the door, finding a redhead standing there. Behind the redhead stood a younger blonde girl, probably only around sixteen. “Can I help yo-” Hanayo was cut off as the redhead slapped her sharply. She staggered slightly but caught herself on the doorframe. “What the hell?!”   
  
“Onee-chan!”   
  
Hanayo looked up at the sound of Raven’s voice. He had paused in the hallway behind her but Nico was storming toward them, a furious look on her face. She gasped as the redhead pushed past her into the apartment.    
  
“Stop, stop!” Raven quickly intercepted Nico and his sister before they could reach each other. He knew there was little he could do though. “Not the face, Onee-chan. She’s too pretty for you to hit in the face. And you know, she needs to  _ not _ have a black eye for work.”   
  
He turned toward Nico, lowering his voice. “Don’t start anything, she can beat me up and I’m a cop.”   
  
The smaller blonde who had stepped into the house nodded resolutely. “O-Onee-chan is in the military!” She announced, her voice just as small as she herself was.    
  
Raven grimaced and left Nico to check on Hanayo. Her face was red but it seemed like his sister had held back.    
  
“Pretty?” The redhead spoke skeptically. “Seriously?”   
  
“Well she is pretty.” Raven shrugged. He lowered his voice as he spoke to Hanayo. “Are you okay?”   
  
“Fine.” Hanayo nodded, straightening up. She took his hand, squeezing it tightly. “So um...what’s going on?”   
  
“This is my older sister, Hisa.” Raven said, nodding to the redhead. “And my younger sister, Itsuki. I’m not sure what’s going on though.” He let go of Hanayo’s hand and went to Itsuki, giving her a brief hug. “It’s nice to see you anyway.”   
  
“This!” Hisa held up the tabloid in her hand. The headline read ‘Yazawa Nico: Is she gay?’ in capital letters. “We saw your girlfriend was cheating on you and we came right over.”   
  
Hanayo growled in annoyance. “I didn’t cheat on him, you idio-”   
  
“Han!” Raven interrupted loudly. When she looked at him, he shook his head. “Let me deal with this, okay?” He waited for an answering nod before he turned to Hisa. “She didn’t cheat on me, I promise. We’ve worked it out.”   
  
“This says otherwise.” Hisa turned and walked toward him, pressing the tabloid to his chest as she glared at Hanayo. “If you think you can just hurt him and get away with it, you’re wrong.”   
  
Raven laughed nervously and stepped between them. “Sorry, she’s a little overprotective. Onee-chan, please. I know what I’m doing.”   
  
“Sounds like Nii-san needs an intervention.” Itsuki spoke up quietly from where she stood just inside the doorway.    
  
“I-I do not need an intervention!” Raven exclaimed in embarrassment. “Stop it, both of you. Everything is fine. My relationship with Hanayo is fine, we’re not breaking up. Look, we’ll talk about this later. I’ll take you both out for lunch, just...give me some time to deal with things here.”   
  
Hisa glared at Hanayo as Raven ushered her out of the door. “You haven’t seen the last of me, Koizumi!”   
  
“Onee-chan!”   
  
Hanayo rolled her eyes.    
  
“Onee-chan, there are some pictures of Nii-san and Nico-cha…” Itsuki’s voice was cut off as Raven closed the door behind them. He sighed, resting his head against it. He took a moment before he turned to Nico and Hanayo. The three were silent for a moment before he bowed in apology.    
  
“I’m sorry!”   
  
“What for?” Nico asked with a shake of her head. “It’s not like it was your fault. Besides they just seem worried about you. I guess I would be too.”   
  
Raven straightened up, hesitantly. “You would be?”   
  
“Well if I was your sister. Which I’m definitely not.” Nico said, flustered. “Definitely nothing like that. Actually, now that I think about it, you said that I could be seen as your sister because of our hair but they don’t look anything like you, especially the blonde.”   
  
“Yeah, Onee-chan takes more after my mom. And Itsuki has a different dad. She looks more like him.”   
  
“Oh?” Nico asked, interested. Hanayo looked curious too. It was clear she hadn’t heard this yet. “Your parents split up?”   
  
Raven reached back, rubbing his neck. Hanayo frowned to herself. He only did that when he was stressed.   
  
“My dad actually died when I was young so….” Raven shrugged uncomfortably.   
  
Nico’s eyes widened at that before she quickly looked away. “Mine did too. It’s why I’m doing all of this. My career, I mean and trying to quash the rumors of me being gay. He inspired me to be an idol. I even had my own catchphrase.”   
  
“Oh?” Raven looked up, grateful for the distraction. “What was it? Come on, show me.”   
  
“Fine, fine...Nico Nico Nii.” Nico did her usual pose but somehow the words still felt empty now. Her hands fell to her sides and she let out a soft laugh as tears pricked at her eyes. It didn’t mean what it used to to her. “I haven’t done that in a while. It’s always painful to remember both dad and Hono-” She cut herself off, pressing her hand to her mouth as tears slid free from her eyes.    
  
Hanayo went to Nico and hugged her tightly. She looked to Raven as he stepped forward and nodded encouragingly. Nico needed as much comfort as she could get.    
  
Hesitantly, Raven hugged Nico from the other side, effectively sandwiching her between himself and Hanayo.    
  
\-----   
  
Rin laughed as she watched Emily look around in wide eyed awe. She had told her they could go anywhere they wanted and Emily had chosen a maid cafe without even pausing to consider her options.    
  
“Nobody in America would want to work in something like this.” Emily said, watching a young girl with shoulder length brown hair pass by. “Unless it’s like an adult cafe.”   
  
“You know, Kotori-chan used to dress as a maid.” Rin mentioned, smiling fondly at the memory of when they’d caught her doing so. “When we were in Muse, we saw her. She was pretty cute too.”   
  
“Too?” Emily looked back to Rin in alarm, noticing her watching her with a smirk. “I’m not like that, I’m not looking. I-I mean I’m not perverted, I…”   
  
“Emily.” Rin reached out to grasp Emily’s hand and smiled warmly. “I’m kidding, just relax.”   
  
Emily breathed a sigh of relief. “Japan is so...weird.”   
  
“Even I know that.” Rin said with a soft laugh. “America is so boring.”   
  
“Hey!” Emily exclaimed in offence. “You’ve never been to New York. We’re in LA. New York is wilder.”   
  
“Not as crazy as the Tokyo nightlife.” Rin quipped. “Question is, can you handle it?”   
  
Emily gave a nervous laugh. “L-Let’s just order.”   
  
Rin smirked but beckoned over a waitress to take their order. She ordered a milkshake, not especially in the mood to eat and Emily order the same, clearly a little out of her comfort zone.    
  
When the maid wandered off, Rin realized she was still holding Emily’s hand. “Oh, um...is this okay?”   
  
“I like it.” Emily said with a soft smile as she looked down at their hands. She tentatively shifted her hand, entwining her fingers with Rin’s. The two of them fell silent for a few moments, both a little embarrassed and unable to meet each other’s eyes.    
  
“Do you think your friends are okay?” Emily spoke up softly. “They’re kind of all…”   
  
“A mess?” Rin finished for her with a sigh. “Yeah, I know. I don’t know if they’ll be okay, honestly. Especially Eli-chan.”   
  
Emily looked up to meet Rin’s eyes. “Why aren’t you…?”   
  
“A mess?” Rin bit her lip for a moment. “Because I made a promise. I guess she might have made the others make one too but…” She shrugged. “I don’t want to break it.”   
  
“Tell me.” Emily encouraged, gently squeezing Rin’s hand. “Please.”   
  
_ Rin was leaning against the fence surrounding the roof when the door creaked open. She looked over in time to see Honoka walk out, smiling tiredly when she saw her.  _ _   
_ _   
_ _ “I-I thought I would find you up here.” Honoka said breathlessly.  _ _   
_ _   
_ _ “Honoka-chan!” Rin hurried forward, lightly grasping Honoka’s arms to steady her. “What are you doing up here? Did you come up here alone?” _ _   
_ _   
_ _ “I’m fine, I’m fine.” Honoka said with a shake of her head. “Just...help me over to the fence so we can sit down.” _ _   
_ _   
_ _ Rin sighed and shook her head but helped Honoka to the fence where she sat down. Rin sat down next to her, watching her in concern. “Why did you come all the way up here, nya?” _ _   
_ _   
_ _ Honoka took a moment to compose herself, letting her heart rate gradually return to normal. “I wanted to talk to you. Alone.” _ _   
_ _   
_ _ “Alone?” Rin focused her full attention on Honoka. “Why?” _ _   
_ _   
_ _ “Don’t worry so much, Rin-chan.” Honoka said with a smile. “I just wanted to ask what your plans are for after graduation. Do you know?” _ _   
_ _   
_ _ “I-I’m not really sure. I was just thinking maybe I would join a club next year.” Rin said, her stomach sinking at the realization that she wouldn’t be in Muse then. “A-A different club, I mean.” _ _   
_ _   
_ _ “Oh? Like what?” Honoka asked curiously.  _ _   
_ _   
_ _ Rin looked down at the ground. “Um...maybe track.” _ _   
_ _   
_ _ “You’re good at running.” Honoka said earnestly. “Maybe you could get a scholarship and go to college after.” _ _   
_ _   
_ _ “Ah, you think so?” Rin asked hopefully, looking up. Her mood dimmed quickly though. Honoka wouldn’t get to go to college. “Maybe. I want to travel too maybe. I want to see more of the world.” _ _   
_ _   
_ _ “You can do it, Rin-chan.” Honoka said softly.  _ _   
_ _   
_ _ “But you can’t…” Rin mumbled unhappily.  _ _   
_ _   
_ _ “I’m dying.” Honoka said softly, lightly touching Rin’s hand.  _ _   
_ _   
_ _ Rin grimaced, tears forming in her eyes. “Don’t talk about that. It’s not...not yet, okay? You still have a lot of time.” _ _   
_ _   
_ _ Honoka shook her head. She didn’t feel like that was true. “Rin-chan, promise me you’ll move on. I want you to follow your dreams and be happy. Please, promise me.” _ _   
_ _   
_ _ “I...I promise.” Rin turned toward Honoka and hugged her as tightly as she dared.  _ _   
_ _   
_ Emily smiled softly. She could see tears at the corners of Rin’s eyes but she wasn’t worried. “It seems like you all really loved her.”   
  
“Yeah, we did.” Rin sniffled, wiping her tears away with her free hand. “We do.”   
  
“I’m sure she’s happy, knowing you kept your promise.” Emily murmured. She felt her heart skip a beat at the tearful smile Rin shot her. It was dazzling.    
  
“I think so too.” Rin lifted Emily’s hand and glanced around briefly before kissing the back of it. “I am happy, just like Honoka-chan wanted.”   
  
\---- _   
_ _   
_ Yukiho sighed as she entered Maki’s apartment. Over the past couple of days she’d gotten used to coming and going though if she was honest she wasn’t sure what she was doing there anymore. She didn’t know what they were waiting for or when something would actually happen.    
  
Her eyes stung with exhaustion. She’d barely slept the previous night and she had a ton of homework to do now that she was home. Arisa was on her way back too but she’d said that she’d go and get some food for them and meet Yukiho back at the house.    
  
Yukiho sank down onto the couch and pulled off her tie, unbuttoning the top button of her shirt. She glanced regretfully back at the couch she was sitting on. She wished she could sink into it and fall asleep but she couldn’t. She had work to do.    
  
She vaguely wondered where everyone was but pushed the thought aside. Kotori and Maki and Umi and Nozomi were probably in their respective rooms by then. She stood briefly from her seat, stepping toward the table to get her reading glasses. She had to bend down but when she straightened up she felt arms go around her. She gasped in surprise, feeling an ample chest press against her back.    
  
The bare arms around her were damp, she noticed and she caught a whiff of shampoo as she turned. She found Eli standing behind her, clad in a towel. Her hair was dripping wet from the shower. Yukiho noticed that her own shirt was damp too. “Eli-san!”   
  
“Welcome back.” Eli mumbled, her eyes half-lidded.    
  
Yukiho recognized right away that Eli had been drinking. “You’re drunk.” She sighed heavily and grasped Eli’s arms, gently guiding her to the couch. She pushed her down lightly.    
  
“Aww, I thought you’d like a hug.” Eli said with a lazy smile, resting her head against the back of the couch.    
  
“I did. I do.” Yukiho sighed and shook her head. She wasn’t sure whether she hated how Eli usually acted more or whether she hated this version of her more. Times when she was so drunk she almost seemed happy. “Damn it, Eli-san.”   
  
“When will Diachi come over?” Eli asked, her words a bit slurred. “I want to meet him.”   
  
“Not with you like this, he’ll not.” Yukiho sighed and rubbed the back of her neck. “Look just wait here a minute, okay?”   
  
Eli huffed but did as she was asked. She watched Yukiho walk away and bit her lip, glancing around the room. She didn’t have long to think before Yukiho returned, carrying another towel.    
  
Yukiho crouched on the couch at Eli’s side. “Turn away from me.” She ordered softly. When Eli did so, Yukiho reached up with the towel, gently drying Eli’s hair. “You have to stop drinking, Eli-san.”   
  
“You keep saying that.” Eli mumbled, closing her eyes. She leaned her head into Yukiho’s touch. “But I can’t, I need it.”   
  
Yukiho didn’t say anything to that. She continued to dry Eli’s hair for a few minutes before she happened to look down. The fact that she was on her knees behind Eli meant she was looking down at the blonde. She blushed, realizing she could see down Eli’s towel. “Put your towel on!”   
  
“What?” Eli quickly moved to tighten the towel around herself. “It’s on.”   
  
Yukiho sighed heavily, trying to settle her racing heart. “You’re going to be the death of me.”   
  
“Why?” Eli asked innocently.    
  
“Shut up.”   
  
“But why?” Eli turned to Yukiho, effectively dislodging the girl’s hands from her hair. She moved forward as Yukiho fell back against the arm of the couch.    
  
Yukiho swallowed thickly. Eli was leaning over her now. She knew that the blonde didn’t mean anything by it. She never meant anything by it. “Just...it’s nothing, really. Don’t worry about it, Eli-san.”   
  
Eli bit her lower lip, a troubled look on her face. “I don’t know how to make it stop hurting. Drinking...helps, that’s all.”   
  
“You’ve got the wrong idea.” Yukiho sighed and lifted her hand, resting it on Eli’s upper arm. Her skin was cooler than Yukiho’s hand, probably because she’d hadn’t been out of the shower for long. Yukiho took a long, calming breath. “Look, Eli-san...you know I’m not...gay. Right?”   
  
Eli innocently tilted her head in confusion. “I know.”   
  
“And I know you don’t mean it like that but you...you can’t do this a-and…” Yukiho gestured between the two of them, pausing for a moment. “You know, not expect me to feel like you’re hitting on me.”   
  
Yukiho watched Eli’s face fall at the insinuation. A second later Eli scrambled to her feet just as the door across the room opened and Arisa stepped inside.    
  
Arisa yelped and covered her eyes. “I so do not need to see this!”   
  
“Misunderstanding!” Yukiho exclaimed in panic. “Arisa-chan, it’s not like that!” She turned to Eli who looked a little pale. “Eli-san?”   
  
“I don’t feel good.” Eli swayed on her feet and Yukiho lurched forward to steady her only for Eli to fall forward into Yukiho’s chest, passed out.    
  
“Ah, god damn it!” Yukiho cursed as she wrapped her arms around the blonde to keep her from falling to the floor. She quickly tugged her further onto the couch, trying to position the towel to help preserve Eli’s modesty while also not looking herself. It didn’t help that the blonde was practically on top of her. Naked. “Arisa, could you help me please? She’s your damn si…” She trailed off, realizing she was being a bit too harsh. “Damn it, I can’t do this.”   
  
She didn’t know why she was suddenly feeling all of this attraction to the blonde. She thought it was emotional but it seemed to be physical too. Just as she felt like she was on the verge of tears, she felt strong arms lift the blonde off of her and settle her down on the couch.    
  
“You okay?” Nozomi asked in concern. She was surprised when Yukiho surged forward and hugged her tightly. She gently patted the girl’s back and looked to Eli. “Is...is she okay?”   
  
“I can’t do this.” Yukiho repeated shakily. “She always gets so touchy when she’s drunk and I can’t do it anymore. I have all of these feelings a-and she just sees me as a fill in for Honoka! I-I can’t do this anymore, I’m so  _ tired _ of it all!”   
  
Nozomi gave a gentle sound of acknowledgement.    
  
Yukiho suddenly pulled away, her eyes wide. “I-I have to get out of here, I can’t...I can’t keep doing this.”   
  
“You’re leaving us?” Arisa’s voice was small as she spoke up. She stood next to Umi who had been trying to soothe her. Tears lingered in her eyes and Nozomi noticed that she was clutching her left arm with her right hand, her nails digging into her skin through her long sleeved shirt.    
  
“No, I-I just need to lie down. I’ll do my homework in the morning.” Yukiho turned on her heel and left for Maki’s study where she was still sleeping with Arisa and Eli.    
  
“You two should be a team.” Umi frowned, staring after Yukiho. “She has a lot on her shoulders, you shouldn’t rely on her so much.”   
  
“Umi-chan!” Nozomi’s tone was sharp as she stared at Umi in disbelief. She sighed and shook her head. Umi didn’t understand Arisa, that was all. “Come here, Arisa-chan.”   
  
Arisa broke away from Umi and went to Nozomi who drew her into a gentle embrace.    
  
“What do you think about staying with us tonight?” Nozomi asked softly as Arisa shuddered against her. She was clearly crying but trying not to make it too obvious.    
  
“Umi-san is right, I’m just a burden.” Arisa clutched Nozomi as tightly as she could, her tears dampening the older girl’s shirt. “Onee-chan and Yukiho-chan would be better off without me.”   
  
“Hey, stop. Stop it.” Nozomi gently drew away from Arisa, meeting her eyes. “We’ve talked about this, Arisa-chan. Elichi and Yukiho-chan love you. You’re not a burden.”   
  
“Umi-san s-says so though.” Arisa sniffed up, deeply. “I want to help but I-I don’t know what to do.”   
  
Nozomi sighed. Of all of the people who could have told Arisa that, it had to be Umi, the person Arisa still seemed to admire. “Look…”   
  
“Y-You’re not a burden!” Umi blurted out loudly. The other two turned to look at her, surprised to see she’d stepped closer now. “I didn’t mean it like that. Really, I didn’t.”   
  
“Umi-chan, it’s okay.” Nozomi soothed, still holding the sniffling teenager. “Relax.”   
  
“But I didn’t!” Umi exclaimed in distress. She felt terrible for making Arisa feel worse. For putting those thoughts into her head. “I’m sorry, I can be so stupid and I just don’t want you to make the same mistake I had. I’m sorry.” She took a deep breath and moved forward, stopping in front of Arisa. She needed to take her own advice and support Nozomi more. Her girlfriend was juggling so many problems at once and she didn’t have anyone to help. “I’m here for you too, Arisa. You don’t need to worry about just having Yukiho. You have me too.”   
  
Nozomi breathed a sigh of relief and smiled softly at Umi. “Can you take her for a minute while I get Elichi changed?” She felt Arisa’s grip on her tighten in worry for just a moment before it quickly relaxed. “It’s okay. Stay with Umi-chan, I’ll be right back.”   
  
Arisa nodded and looked down at the floor. She noticed out of the corner of her eye, Nozomi pick Eli up and carry her off to the bedroom. Nervously, she sat down and looked at Yukiho’s homework on the table. She wondered whether she should do hers first and then let Yukiho copy the next morning. It would be quicker than doing it all herself and Yukiho knew it all anyway.    
  
“Do you need help with your homework?”    
  
Arisa jumped in surprise as Umi sat down next to her. “N-No, thank you.”   
  
Umi sighed heavily as Arisa inched away. She didn’t know what to say to fix what she had said earlier. It had been stupid of her but it had just come out. She didn’t even think she was directing the accusation at Arisa. She didn’t think that Arisa was a burden, she felt like she’d been a burden herself to Nozomi. “You know it’s okay to lean on people when you need help. It doesn’t make you weak or a burden. I lean on Nozomi all of the time when I need help.”   
  
Arisa looked down at her lap and picked at her school skirt. “It’s meant to work both ways though, isn’t it? I never help Yukiho-chan.”   
  
“Maybe you help her by just being there.” Umi suggested softly. “I would bet that if she didn’t have you with her, she would be a lot worse than what she is now. Nozomi used to tell me that all of the time when I felt like a burden to her. I know she loves me no matter what.”   
  
“I guess.” Arisa murmured softly. “Um...is it okay if I stay with you and Nozomi-san tonight, like she said?”   
  
“Of course it’s okay.” Umi said with a small smile. She reached out, tentatively touching Arisa’s shoulder. She was relieved when the girl made no attempt to pull away. “We’re here for you, Arisa.”   
  
\------   
  
Maki clutched her hand to her chest, her heart pounding rapidly against her palm. It had been a few hours since Kotori had left the apartment and it was starting to get dark outside. She hadn’t seen her leave and Kotori hadn’t mentioned she was going. Umi had told her a short while ago, saying that Kotori needed some space.    
  
Maki didn’t know what that meant exactly or what she was meant to do with the information. She wanted to go and look for her girlfriend but she didn’t know if Kotori would want that which was why she found herself curled up in bed, hoping that Kotori would come back.    
  
“You have to go and look for her, you idiot.” She whispered to herself. She gritted her teeth. She didn’t want to screw things up again though. After a few more minutes she bolted upright and swung her feet over the edge of the bed. She couldn’t do nothing. She wanted to give Kotori time and space to grieve but she couldn’t stop thinking that her girlfriend might be hurt or in trouble.    
  
She had barely taken two steps to her bedroom door when it opened and Kotori stepped into their bedroom.    
  
“Kotori!” As the door closed, Maki rushed forward and hugged Kotori tightly. She drew back to look at her. “Are you okay? Do you have any idea how worried I was about you? Where have you been?! You’re freezing!”   
  
“I went to see Honoka-chan.” Kotori said softly, bowing her head. “I want to speak to her again, I want…” She gritted her teeth, her eyes flooding with tears. “I want to hear her voice again, I miss her so much, Maki-chan.”   
  
“I know.” Maki said softly, placing her hand on Kotori’s shoulder. “It’s okay, it’s…” She trailed off as Kotori hugged her suddenly as tight as she could, a choked sob escaping her.    
  
“I-I don’t know how to keep doing this without her, I want her back!” Kotori sobbed into Maki’s shoulder.    
  
Maki felt Kotori’s knees buckle and gently guided her to the floor, crouching down with her so she didn’t have to let go. “I know, I know. It’s okay, Kotori. I’m here. I’m not going anywhere, just let it out.”   
  
Kotori only seemed to cry harder at that. “I want her back. I loved her so much, I-I…”   
  
Maki drew away for a moment, cupping Kotori’s face in her hand. “I’m going to do everything in my power to get her back, okay? Do you trust me?”   
  
Kotori nodded in response.    
  
“There’s nothing I won’t do to fix this.” Maki whispered, pressing her forehead to Kotori’s. “To make you happy.” She wanted to say more. She wanted to apologize for not being able to do anything about Kotori’s pain. She’d seen it on countless occasions but she’d always shrunk away when Kotori had shrugged her attempts at comfort off. “I just need you to let me in, Kotori. You’re the only person I’d let see me at my weakest. I know you’d never judge and I wouldn’t judge you either. Please, just trust me.”   
  
“I-I trust you, Maki-chan.” Kotori said, her voice thick with emotion. “More than anyone else.”   
  
Maki drew Kotori in close to her, kissing the top of her head. Feeling her girlfriend’s shoulders shake with soft sobs again, she closed her eyes and began to sing softly, hoping to provide Kotori some comfort. “ Aishiteru banzai! Koko de yokatta watashitachi no ima ga koko ni aru, Aishiteru banzai…”   
  
Maki was surprised to find Kotori’s soft voice join in with hers on the next line. “ Hajimatta bakari ashita mo yoroshiku ne mada gooru janai Waratte yo kanashii nara fuki to basou yo…”   
  
Kotori drew back slowly and Maki fell silent.    
  
“You wrote this song, didn’t you?” Kotori whispered, still a bit tearful but significantly calmer now.    
  
“Yeah.” Maki gently wiped Kotori’s tears away. “Honoka loved it. She wanted to use it for the graduation ceremony.”   
  
“It’s my favourite song you’ve written too.” Kotori looked down for a moment before her gaze flitted back up to Maki. “You won’t ever leave me, will you?”   
  
Maki frowned. “Of course I wouldn’t, I love…”   
  
“No, I mean…” Kotori closed her eyes, fighting back more tears. “If anything happened to you, I don’t know what I would do. I’d end up like Eli-chan...worse than Eli-chan, I don’t think...I don’t think I could…”   
  
“Shhh.” Maki soothed gently, stroking Kotori’s hair. “Nothing’s going to happen to me. I promise.”   
  
“I-I don’t want you to get sick too.” Kotori bowed her head again, a sharp sob springing from her throat. “I’m tired of losing the people I care about, Maki-chan.”   
  
“You’re not going to lose me.” Maki said softly. “Listen, we’re going to be fine, okay? We’re going to graduate university and you’ll become a fashion designer and I’ll go into medicine. I’ll find a cure for this damn disease and we’ll...we’ll go somewhere and we’ll get married a-and maybe have kids and..” She felt herself blush but Kotori was finally looking at her again so she pressed on. “We’re going to be together for a long time, Kotori.”   
  
“Really?” Kotori smiled tearfully. She wiped her eyes with her sleeve. “Who’s going to carry the kids?”   
  
“Ah, I don’t know. Maybe one each?” Maki asked unsurely. She hadn’t really considered it much given that it was a long way off.    
  
Kotori sniffled and leaned into Maki. Somehow talking about Maki’s vision of their future together calmed her. “The donor better have red hair. I want my kids to have red hair.”   
  
Maki kissed the top of Kotori’s head. “As long as mine has ash brown hair and bright amber eyes.”   
  
Kotori smiled at the suggestion. It was a nice thought, that they would get to have all of that one day. “Ah, what if mine doesn’t have violet eyes? Guess we better start looking.”   
  
Maki laughed softly. She knew Kotori was kidding about that. “How about I get you a ring first?” She paused, realizing with a wince that now might not be the best time to ask. “I-I mean if you...if you want to?”   
  
Kotori threw her arms around Maki and kissed her hard, her eyes damp with tears once more. “This is what I get after breaking down? A proposal?!”   
  
“Um…” Maki nervously looked away. “W-Well, I um...it’s not spur of the moment. I’ve thought about it before. I wanted to do it when we were a bit older but I love you so why wait? I love you, Kotori. Be mine.”   
  
Kotori tackled Maki back to the ground, hugging her tightly. “I should break down more often.” She joked meekly.    
  
“Good idea.”    
  
“Maki-chan!”   
  
“I’m sorry.” Maki smiled softly as she looked up at Kotori. Her girlfriend was still teary but she looked happier now. She gently traced Kotori’s face with her fingers, her smile slipping away. “Thank you, Kotori. For everything. I-I should have said that a long time ago. I don’t know what I would have done the past two years without you.”   
  
Kotori blushed and bit her lip briefly. “I’m your girlfriend, you don’t have to thank me.”   
  
“Yes, I do.” Maki disagreed softly. “You’re a better girlfriend than I deserve and I want to be better too. I want to support you, I want to make more time for you instead of you having to work around my schedule. I’m going to be a better fiance than I am a girlfriend, I promise.”   
  
“Fiance.” Kotori murmured to herself, a warm smile tugging at her lips. She leaned down and kissed Maki contentedly. “I like the sound of that.”   
  
\-----   
  
Yukiho wasn’t surprised when she got back to Maki’s apartment only to find the living room empty. It seemed that everyone was always away, doing their own things now. Even Nozomi and Umi were usually in their room unless they were needed.    
  
She tossed her back down onto the floor and went to Maki’s study, opening the door. She found Eli sitting at the desk. Maki herself was nowhere in sight.    
  
“You drunk again?” Yukiho asked warily as she closed the door.    
  
Eli shook her head in response. “I’m pretty sure Nozomi threw everything classed as alcohol out last night. Where is Arisa?”   
  
“She’s still at school. She’ll be coming home soon.” Yukiho stepped closer to the desk but paused a few steps from it, crossing her arms.    
  
“Your hair is wet.” Eli said, noticing water dripping from Yukiho’s hair.    
  
“Swim practice.”   
  
“Hmm.” Eli leaned back in Maki’s desk chair. “At least put a hat on. You’ll catch a cold, coming home like that.”   
  
“Right…” Yukiho looked away, biting her lip. “Are you feeling better after yesterday? Maybe we should talk after...what I said to you.”   
  
Eli looked confused. “What did you say? Sorry, everything is kind of hazy…I don’t think you have anything to apologize for though. Actually, let’s go out!”   
  
“What?!”   
  
“So I can apologize for being a hassle. Let me take you out.” Eli suggested hopefully. “Let me buy you dinner.”   
  
Yukiho flushed at the question. It was like Eli was asking her out on a date. "You are so much like Dai-kun its annoying..."   
  
“Huh?”   
  
“Fine, it better be expensive though. A-And afterwards, you better hang out with Arisa too. You need to get your crap together, Eli-san. Arisa is hurting too.”   
  
“I know.” Eli looked down at the desk with a soft sigh.    
  
Yukiho rolled her eyes skyward, feeling a tug in her chest. “Damn it, Eli-san.” She muttered. She walked forward and went around the desk, laying a hand on Eli’s shoulder. “I just don’t want the two of you to grow apart, that’s all.”   
  
Eli looked up sharply. “I don’t want that either.”   
  
“Then be more reliable.” Yukiho said, trying to sound firm but not angry. She needed Eli to understand. “Arisa-chan loves you, she worries about you. You need to think about what this is doing to her.”   
  
_ Or me _ , she thought to herself as she watched Eli nod in understanding.    
  
“I’ll...I’ll try harder.” Eli promised quietly.    
  
Yukiho noticed Eli swallow convulsively and reached out, brushing her hand over the top of Eli’s head. Her fingers trembled. “I know it hurts.” She said gently as Eli avoided her eyes. She knew that Eli only drank to numb the ache she felt. “But I’m here. We can get through this together, okay? You, me and Arisa-chan.”   
  
Eli managed a small smile at that. She wasn’t sure she thought the same way but Yukiho’s confidence made her feel slightly better. She surged to her feet, hugging Yukiho tightly.    
  
Yukiho was caught off guard by the sudden embrace but returned it readily.    
  
TBC.   



	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter of ANITW, I hope you guys enjoy!
> 
> Warning(s): Violence, sexual scenes, angst, SELF-INJURY, swearing and…slight hetero romance?
> 
> Leading off of that, just a note to mention that there are some het scenes in here (not sex, NEVER sex) but like making out etc so if you want to skip those, that’s fine. Just skip the Hanayo scenes and the Nico scenes. 
> 
> Again, skip the Hanayo scenes and Nico scenes if you want to skip the het stuff.

Yukiho glanced at the blonde next to her, biting her lip. They were standing at the subway station where they’d agreed to meet. It was halfway between the school and Maki’s apartment, making it ideal.    
  
Yukiho looked Eli over. The blonde was wearing black skinny jeans, a light blue shirt and a black leather jacket, her hair left down. She certainly looked more stylish than she usually did. Not that the blonde ever looked bad. She shook her head, pushing the thought away. She looked down at herself instead, smoothing her hands over her frilly blue skirt. She was wearing a button down blouse too, and a blue pinstripe jacket, rolled up.    
  
She cleared her throat somewhat awkwardly. She wasn’t sure what to say. She glanced around furtively, suddenly wishing she’d said something to get herself out of the situation. She was just making it worse for herself.    
  
She snuck a glance at Eli’s face. The older girl looked happy enough with what was happening. A small smile even tugged at her lips as she waited for the train to come.    
  
Yukiho’s stomach twisted with guilt. She wanted to be at ease as Eli seemed. She hadn’t seen the blonde that happy in a long time but she felt anything but at ease. “So this is awkward.”   
  
“It is?” Eli’s brow furrowed as she glanced over at Yukiho.    
  
Yukiho winced. “Ah, no. Nevermind. Sorry, forget I said anything. So uh...where did you say we’re going?”   
  
“It’s a secret.” Eli said, her eyes sparkling. She turned to the tracks again, frowning. “The train is late.”   
  
“Uh-huh.” Yukiho murmured. She hardly cared about that. “You still promise to talk to Arisa after this, right?”   
  
“I said I would the last five times you asked, didn’t I?” Eli sighed and shoved her hands into her pockets. “So do you want a clue about where we’re going? I snagged Maki’s credit card...well I bribed her into letting me have it.”   
  
“Don’t change the subject.”   
  
“Fine.” Eli sighed heavily. “I just feel like I’m not worthy to even talk to her sometimes.”   
  
“You and me both…”   
  
Eli walked away from the tracks to the bench at the back. She took a seat, noticing Yukiho sit down next to her. “She’s so innocent and I think I just...broke her. I remember you told me about her cutting. I’m not blind, I see her cuts. She always was a follower. She always followed my lead. Except this time she should never have followed me.”   
  
“That’s because she wanted to be just like you.” Yukiho said softly.    
  
“Well she shouldn’t. She needs to stop.”   
  
“Then you need to stop. You need to at least tell her she needs to.” Yukiho said firmly. “She looks up to you.”   
  
Eli sighed loudly and leaned her head back, staring up at the high roof of the shelter above them. “I’m a terrible sister.”   
  
“You are.” Yukiho said bluntly, causing Eli to cringe. “But you can be better. You used to be better.” She paused for a moment before speaking softly. “You know, you were the only thing that kept her from breaking down.”   
  
“No, I haven’t.” Eli disagreed with a shake of her head. “She’s still hurting herself.”   
  
“I mean Onee-chan.” Yukiho’s voice lowered as she turned to Eli. “You were the only thing that kept her from falling into her depression. You were her light, Eli-san.”   
  
Eli clenched her jaw, tears stinging at her eyes. “Why would I…?”   
  
“You kept her happy.” Yukiho explained softly as Eli trailed off. She needed the blonde to understand. “Even with such a horrible condition, even knowing she was dying, knowing you were beside her kept her smiling. She was so happy with you.”   
  
Eli turned her gaze away to hide the tears she was desperately blinking back. “I know what you’re saying. I get it, Yukiho. I’ll talk to Arisa.”   
  
“Thank you.” Yukiho hugged Eli from the side. “That’s all I wanted.”   
  
Eli nodded silently, finally finishing fighting back her tears. There was time for that later. “Is that why you agreed to come today? Just because you wanted to get me to talk to Arisa.”   
  
Yukiho’s eyes widened. “What? No, I…”   
  
“It’s fine, Yukiho.” Eli interrupted with a shake of her head. She smiled at the girl though it was somewhat forced. “I love that you care so much about Arisa.”   
  
“Well, I don’t need an expensive dinner but…” Yukiho paused as their subway arrived. Quickly, she got to her feet. “Finally! Let’s go.”   
  
Eli didn’t move and Yukiho turned back to her in confusion. “Eli-san, we’ll miss the train.”   
  
“I know.” Eli said calmly as she got to her feet. “I promise I’ll talk to Arisa when I get home, you don’t need to worry about that.”   
  
Yukiho glanced between Eli and the train in confusion. “So we’re not going or…?”   
  
Eli shook her head and reached out, ruffling Yukiho’s hair. “Go and see your friends. Or your boyfriend. That’s where you’d rather be right now, right?”   
  
“W-Well…” Yukiho slowly shook her head, a little troubled. “I can’t just leave you.”   
  
“Sure you can.” Eli answered, sitting back down. She shrugged her shoulders, noticing the train depart behind Yukiho. “I’m not a child, Yukiho. I promise I won’t do anything stupid. Besides there’s not another train due fo-”   
  
“That’s not fucking funny!” Yukiho snapped angrily, cutting Eli off.    
  
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” Eli said with a shake of her head. “Look, just go. I can take care of myself. You have to trust me eventually, right?”   
  
“I-I guess but..are you sure?” Yukiho asked anxiously.    
  
“Yes, now go.” Eli ordered firmly.    
  
“Okay, I’ll...I’ll be home late tonight.” Yukiho said hesitantly. She waited for a moment before she reached down and hugged Eli tightly. It only lasted a couple of seconds before she turned and left the train station in a hurry.    
  
Eli let the smile she’d forced to her lips disappear. She reached up, grasping her shirt over her chest and took a shuddering breath. Somehow she felt worse without someone to distract her. Not just anyone but Yukiho herself. She shook her head. She relied on the younger girl too much. She needed to stop.    
  
She slowly got to her feet, steeling herself. She needed to talk to her sister.    
  
\-----   
  
When Eli got back to Kotori’s apartment Arisa was nowhere in sight. Eli frowned in confusion. Arisa should have been home hours ago. Hearing voices from one of the other rooms though, she paused. She heard a laugh that was most definitely Arisa’s and her chest twinged. She didn’t know when she’d last heard Arisa laugh.    
  
She followed the sound of voices to a door that was ajar and slowly pushed it open. She found Nozomi, Umi and Arisa sitting cross legged on the floor with Arisa. Umi looked a little annoyed and flustered while Nozomi and Arisa were grinning.    
  
Eli cleared her throat, drawing their attention toward her. “Um...Arisa, can I speak to you for a minute?”   
  
“Oh, um…” Arisa looked a little worried. She glanced at Nozomi who nodded at her. “Sure. I’ll be right back, Nozomi-san. Umi-san, will you…?”   
  
“I’ll keep her away from your homework.” Umi promised with a nod of her head.    
  
“Aww, come on. I can help!” Nozomi insisted as Arisa got to her feet.    
  
“Not with math.” Umi pointed out with a wince. “You barely got a C this semester.”   
  
“Well only because you helped.”   
  
“Exactly!”   
  
Arisa closed the door behind her, a small smile tugging at her lips.    
  
“Those two sure are lovey-dovey.” Eli commented dryly as she led the way to the thankfully empty kitchen.    
  
“They argue like an old married couple, Onee-chan.” Arisa sat down at the table, her hands clasped atop it. “Um...so what did you want to talk to me about? Y-You’re not going to tell me I should move back in with mom and dad again, are you?”   
  
“No, nothing like that.” Eli answered quietly. She nervously cleared her throat before she moved forward and leaned down to hug her sister.    
  
Arisa gasped in surprise. “O-Onee-chan?” She asked, unsurely hugging Eli back.    
  
“I love you.” Eli said, her voice thick with emotion. She squeezed her eyes shut against tears, feeling Arisa hug her tighter. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I should have known, I should have done something.”   
  
Arisa shook her head and tearfully hugged her sister as tightly as she could.    
  
“I’m going to try harder.” Eli promised quietly. “I’m going to act like your sister again, I promise, Arisa.” She drew back to look at Arisa, gripping the girl’s hands. “I’m so sorry if you think I didn’t care about you. I do. I always will.”   
  
Arisa gave a sound of agreement, her eyes filled with tears and she surged forward to hug Eli once more.    
  


\---   
Nico was at her laptop in Hanayo’s bedroom, checking her emails on her laptop when she felt arms go around her. She leaned back into them automatically and closed her eyes. She groaned softly at the feeling of lips pressing against her bare neck and shoulders.    
  
“So what was it like kissing a boy?” Hanayo teased lightly. She nipped at Nico’s ear.    
  
“I guess...the same as kissing a girl?” Nico answered distractedly.    
  
“Hmm? So you’re bi?” Hanayo asked, distracted herself.    
  


Nico shook her head. “I’m attracted to personality.”   
  
Hanayo paused what she was doing and gave a soft laugh. “Personality? Then how the hell did you find me attractive?”   
  
“Hmm…” Nico thought about that for a moment. “I think it was right after you came to visit me with Rin and you seemed...more alluring than when you were fifteen. Your smooth personality drew me in. Though when you first mimicked my catchphrase, that didn’t just annoy me. It was kind of hot.”   
  
Hanayo blushed at the comment. “You’ll stay, right? Raven won’t be back home until the break of dawn. You have me all to yourself.”   
  
Nico shuddered, feeling Hanayo’s breath against the back of her neck. “Keep talking and you might smooth talk my panties right off.”   
  
Hanayo giggled softly. “Oh, I can totally sweet talk your panties off, Nico-chan. Especially since I’m already itching to peel that dress of yours off.”   
  
“Oh?” Nico stood suddenly, deciding to rise to the challenge. “I guess you better help me with the zipper then.”   
  
Hanayo stepped forward, her arms going around Nico. The movement brought their lips together but Hanayo made no move to kiss Nico. Instead when the girl tried to kiss her she leaned back a little, a cocky smile on her face. Slowly, she tugged down the zipper. 

 

\-------   
  
Kotori wandered into the kitchen, finding Maki sitting at the table, a steaming hot cup of coffee in her hands. She greeted her girlfriend with a kiss to the cheek before she padded across the kitchen to pour her own coffee. She smiled softly when she noticed a cup already sitting next to the coffee maker. Glancing over her shoulder at Maki she saw the redhead watching her bashfully.    
  
“I didn’t know how long you’d be.” Maki said quietly. “Or I would have poured it for you too.”   
  
“Thank you, Maki-chan.” Kotori poured her own coffee before she returned to the table, sitting next to Maki. She shuffled her chair as close to Maki’s as she could and leaned into her side, resting her head against her shoulder. “Do you want me to make breakfast?”   
  
Maki shook her head in response.    
  
“Break it up.” Nozomi grouched as she walked into the kitchen, still clad in her pajamas. “It’s way too early for this. Where’s the coffee?”   
  
Kotori straightened up, frowning but she was distracted by Umi sitting down at the table.    
  
“Morning.” Umi said quietly, flashing Kotori and Maki a brief smile. “Don’t mind her, she’s moody in the mornings. It gets worse with age.”   
  
“Bite me.” Nozomi remarked though her voice lacked any anger. “Ah, you need more coffee…”   
  
“You could make some more.” Maki pointed out, raising an eyebrow as she looked over to Nozomi. She paused, noticing her rummaging through the cupboard.    
  
“It’s fine.” Nozomi raised the two cups she held in one hand. She emerged with a box of cereal Maki didn’t even recognize.    
  
Kotori sighed as Umi returned to the table, placing the cups down. “I should start asking for rent.”   
  
“Me?” Maki pointed to herself, sitting up slightly.    
  
“You already pay rent.”   
  
“I can pay mo-”   
  
“You pay enough!” Kotori took a deep breath and looked between Nozomi and Umi. “You two though…”   
  
“I’ll start paying.” Umi said with a meek shrug of her shoulders. “Sorry, Kotori.”   
  
Kotori grimaced. She hadn’t meant to be too harsh. “Eli should too.”   
  
Nozomi gave a scoff. “Eli can’t even afford to pay her own rent. Hono...Yukiho’s parents pay it because it’s Yukiho’s apartment. She works part time too.”   
  
“How do you know that?” Umi asked curiously. “About Eli? Is she talking to you again?”   
  
Nozomi shook her head.    
  
“So um…” Kotori looked toward Maki with a small smile. “We have something to tell you both. Right, Maki-chan?”   
  
Maki nodded in response. Kotori had already asked her whether they should tell their friends their plans.    
  
Kotori gripped Maki’s hand. “Maki-chan proposed!”   
  
Umi looked surprised for a moment before her eyes lit up with happiness. “That’s great, Kotori. Congratulations. I’m so happy for you.”    
  
She got to her feet, giving Kotori a tight hug.    
  
Maki was taken by surprise when Umi hugged her too, fleeting as it was. She smiled and leaned into Kotori’s side. It took a moment for her to realize that Nozomi hadn’t reacted.    
  
“Is there...something wrong with that?” Maki asked, frowning at Nozomi.    
  
“Hmm?” Nozomi looked up. “Oh. No, congratulations. That’s good. For both of you.”   
  
Kotori stared at Nozomi in confusion for a moment. “You don’t sound very happy about it.”   
  
“I am, really. Sorry, I’m just tired still.” Nozomi said, shaking her head.    
  
“You didn’t sleep last night?” Umi asked, worriedly turning to her girlfriend. She had noticed that Umi had been restless for the past few days. “Maybe it’s because you’ve been taking on so much responsibility. Arisa, Yukiho, Eli and you still have me to deal with…”

 

Nozomi wearily rubbed her eyes. “You’re not something I have to deal with, Umi-chan. I don’t know how many times I have to tell you. And I’m not taking too much on, don’t worry. I can deal with this.”   
  
“Chika too?” Umi asked expectantly, ignoring Kotori and Maki’s looks of surprise. “I know she’s been texting you.”   
  
“She’s a brat.” Nozomi’s voice was tinged with anger but her tone softened when she continued. “But she needs support.”   
  
Umi sighed. “That’s what she has her own girlfriend for. I know something is bothering you or you would be able to sleep. Come on, just tell me.”   
  
Maki leaned toward Kotori, lowering her voice. “Has she been acting...weird lately?”   
  
Kotori nodded her head. “She didn’t freak out when I broke down either.”   
  
“What the hell changed?” Maki mused thoughtfully.    
  
Umi looked up and glared at the two of them. “Are you two seriously gosspinig at a time like this? Shameful. Nozomi, let’s have our coffee in our room. Some people need to learn the meaning of privacy…”   
  
Kotori grinned as she watched Umi get up from the table. “Yep, definitely the old Umi-chan…”   
  
“Kotori…” Umi narrowed her eyes.    
  
“See?” Kotori asked, leaning into Maki’s side. “She even does the ‘you idiots’ glare.”   
  
“KOTORI!” Umi sighed and shook her head as Kotori giggled at her. She picked up her coffee and Nozomi’s from the table and glanced at her girlfriend noticing she was smile wildly too. She was relieved at that at least. She walked into the bedroom, placing their coffee down and turned to Nozomi who was closing the door behind her.    
  
“Old Umi wanted to talk?” Nozomi mused teasingly. “What will she say?”   
  
Umi looked completely serious though. “She’s gonna say...stop piling so many problems on yourself. Because she wants to carry them with you, you selfless girl. I know you’re struggling. You stay awake most of the night worrying about things. About other people’s problems. Even if you don’t want to tell me what’s wrong, I’m here for you.”   
  
Nozomi stepped forward and wrapped her arms around Umi, hugging her tightly. “Maybe I am a little tired, having to help them with their problems. But I promised I would and I need to keep my promise.”   
  
Umi sighed softly as she ran her fingers gently through Nozomi’s shoulder length hair. ”You’re going to make yourself sick, Nozomi. Look, I’ll deal with Arisa-chan, okay? I know I messed up once before but she’s more comfortable now, after she slept in our bed with us, right?”   
  
“Okay. If you’re sure.” Nozomi murmured, drawing back. She pressed a gentle kiss to Umi’s lips. “You help me too, you know. You keep me calm and stable. I’d be useless to everyone if I didn’t have you.”   
  
“I don’t know about that.” Umi smiled shyly and glanced away.    
  
“I’m serious.” Nozomi took Umi’s face in her hands, lightly forcing their eyes to meet. “You do keep me stable. You bloody know you do.”   
  
Umi smiled softly at the comment. “You keep me stable too. I just wish you’d be more open with me sometimes, that’s all.”   
  
“I know, I’m trying.” Nozomi sighed softly and pressed her forehead to Umi’s. “Do you wanna know something?”   
  
“Yes!” Umi said quickly.    
  
“I love you.”   
  
Umi sighed in response that, visibly deflating. “That isn’t a secret, I thought you were going to tell me nobody else knows.”   
  
“Are you saying everyone knows I love you?” Nozomi teased, a small smile tugging at her lips. “That’s pretty confident of you, Umi-chan.”   
  
“Well I know you love me.” Umi drew Nozomi closer to her. “You’re pretty obvious about it. And...I love you too.”   
  
“I know. I’m the luckiest girl in the world.” Nozomi said brightly.    
  
“I hope you are…”   
  
“You’re daft.” Nozomi joked, idly playing with Umi’s hair. “I know I am. I have you, don’t I?”   
  
“Yes.” Umi had been staring at Nozomi so she noticed right away when her girlfriend’s smile dimmed. “What is it?”   
  
“I’m worried about us.” Nozomi admitted quietly. She hadn’t wanted to say it out loud but she wanted to do what Umi requested and rely on her more. “I’m worried about what’s going to happen to us if Chika-chan doesn’t keep her promise. You could end up with someone else. Anyone would be lucky to have you.”   
  
Umi was silent for a long moment and Nozomi’s eyes widened.    
  
“I don’t want to worry you too, I’m just...I know we won’t know any different if we don’t get together in the past but it’s not the point. I don’t want to be with anyone but you.”   
  
“E-Even Eli?”   
  
“Of course even her, you ridiculous girl.” Nozomi said with a shake of her head. “I got over Elichi when we got together. I realized that we both deserved a lot more. Only you can make me as happy as I am.”   
  
“I think…” Umi hesitated for a moment, biting her lip. “I think we’ll find each other somehow even without Chika’s help. No, I know we will. I don’t think I could see anyone else the way I saw you.”   
  
“You think?” Nozomi asked with a uncharacteristically bashful smile. “Maybe I’ll get to see Umi-chan pursuing me this time.”   
  
“Nozomi.” Umi said softly, concern in her voice. “If I thought Honoka or...well Chika had rejected me, I would go to you. I remember thinking Kotori would be so busy with Maki so I was already going to look for you. I know I was. I would go to you, Nozomi.”   
  
Nozomi blinked against tears that prickled at her eyes. “Well...I’m glad I could be your third choice.”   
  
“Nozomi, I’m being serious. I’m trying be roma-” Umi was cut off by lips against her own. Her eyes widened briefly before they fluttered shut again. She melted into the kiss, grasping at Nozomi’s shirt as the girl kissed her deeply. She whimpered, pressing herself flush against her girlfriend.    
  
“I love you.” Nozomi whispered, parting from Umi for one moment before she kissed her again.    
  
Umi slowly eased away from the kiss, placing her hands on Nozomi’s shoulders. “You need to sleep. Let’s go back to bed for a few hours.”   
  
“Can I sleep on you boobs?” Nozomi asked as Umi grabbed her hand to lead her to the bed.    
  
“Perv.” Umi accused jokingly, her face turning red. “Fine, if you want. If it’ll help you sleep.” She slid into the bed and opened her arms for Nozomi who was quick to crawl into them.    
  
\------   
  
Nico had just stepped into the apartment when Raven walked out of his bedroom, dressed in clothes that seemed different to what he would usually wear if he was going to work. He was wearing a white button up shirt and a pair of dark tight jeans.    
  
“Did Kei give you a bunch of menswear again?” She joked as she took off her jacket and shoes.   
  
“Ha ha.” Raven deadpanned. “I don’t want to wear something too fancy.”   
  
“The vest would look cute. Brings out your eyes.” Nico pointed out, looking him over.    
  
“Fine, I’ll put it on.” Raven grimaced but stepped into his bedroom to put the burgundy vest on.    
  
“And the tie!” Nico called after him.    
  
A moment later, he returned wearing the vest, the dark red tie held loosely in his hand. “I can’t tie it.”   
  
“So needy.” Nico said with a roll of her eyes as she walked over to him. She reached up, lifting his collar before she took the tie from him. It took a moment for her to realize what she was doing but when she did she blushed slightly. “Um...so where are you going? You taking Hanayo somewhere nice?”   
  
“Somewhere nice...yeah. But not with Hanayo.” Raven answered, bending slightly so that she could put the tie on him. She still had to lean up a bit on her tiptoes so she could reach him and he placed a hand lightly on her hip. He stayed still as she started to tie it for him.    
  
Nico’s brow furrowed in confusion. “You got another girlfriend we don’t know about or something?”   
  
Raven laughed at the question. “No, nothing like that. I’m taking my sisters out for lunch. They had to cancel yesterday so I didn’t have a chance to explain. I’m hoping taking them somewhere nice to eat will make Onee-chan go easier on me.”   
  
Nico bit the inside of her cheek to hold back a smile. It was kind of cute that he was so intimidated by his sister and yet clearly looked up to her. She pushed his tie up and smoothed his collar back down. “It’s not like you’ve done anything wrong.” She looked down at his jeans, frowning slightly. Sit down and let me roll your jeans up for you.”   
  
“Huh?” Raven frowned in confusion. “Why?”   
  
“Just do it.” Nico followed him as he crossed the room and sat on the couch. She knelt in front of him, rolling the bottom of his jeans up a couple of inches so they just brushed the top of his brown timberland boots. “You have pretty good shoes, you should flaunt it.”   
  
“They’re like four years old.” Raven answered with a slight shake of his head. “You know I’m not trying to impress anyone, right?”   
  
“Besides the point.” Nico answered with a shake of her head. She straightened up when she was done with his jeans. “Take me with you.”   
  
“What?” Raven asked in surprise.    
  
“Take me with you.” Nico repeated, slower this time. “I want to come.”   
  
“Why?” Raven asked in confusion. “You know if you come my sister’s probably going to lecture you, right? It’ll just be boring for you.”   
  
“I should explain myself.” Nico nodded resolutely. “Besides, I have nothing better to do. Hanayo’s still at Maki’s apartment.”   
  
“Kotori’s.”   
  
“Right, right. I’m going to get changed, just wait here for me!” Nico turned and walked into her bedroom, leaving Raven staring after her.    
  
“You know, you look fine in what you have on!” Raven called after her.    
  
“Nope, I want to match!” Nico called back to him as she disappeared into the bedroom. “I knew this skirt would be good someday…”   
  
Raven leaned back against the couch, crossing his arms in front of her chest as he waited for her to emerge from the bedroom. He’d been a bit worried that the sudden change of plan might make him late but thankfully she emerged within five minutes. He felt his jaw drop slightly at the sight of her but he supposed he should be used to seeing her dressed up. “Whoa. I mean you look...nice.”   
  
“Nice?” Nico glanced down at herself. She was wearing a white blouse with a frilly burgundy  skirt that had been sitting in her closet for a few months. She’d put on black tights too and she’d opted to wear Doc Marten boots. She wasn’t in the mood to wear heels. A black button down sweater topped the look off. “I wasn’t really going for nice.”   
  
“No heels?” Raven noticed, opting not to answer her.    
  
“My feet are killing me and Kei says this is good footwear for intimidating people with.” Nico answered confidently. “I was gonna wear chucks but these are more comfy.”   
  
“Who are you trying to intimidate?” Raven asked in amusement as he got to his feet. “I hope it’s not Hisa. She’s…”   
  
“In the military, could beat you up...I know, I know.” Nico said with a roll of her eyes. “But I’m not easy to intimidate either.”   
  
Raven smiled at that. “I’m beginning to see that.”   
  
Nico reached into her bag, putting on a beanie and her face mask. “Ready to go.”   
  
Raven stared at her in confusion. “What are you doing…?” She flinched slightly as she stepped forward, forcing a beanie onto his head too. He huffed, realizing he’d automatically stooped to let her. She handed him a face mask and smiled brightly.    
  
“Incognito.”   
  
“Ah right, you’re famous.” Raven sighed and put the face mask on.    
  
“And to top it off…” Nico reached into her bag and emerged with a couple of pairs of fake glasses. She carefully put his on for him and then put her own on. “Perfect. You know, you kind of suit glasses.”   
  
“Great, thanks.” Raven said sarcastically, hoping she didn’t notice his slight blush. “Let’s go. We’re gonna be late.”   
  
He went to the door, putting his jacket on and took hers, holding it open for her.    
  
“Thanks.” Nico said, a little caught off guard. She put the coat on with his gentle assistance and flashed him a small smile. “You know, you look cute with glasses on.”   
  
Raven’s eyes widened and he felt his face warm more. “Ah, w-we’re gonna be late. Come on.” He grabbed her hand and led her out of the apartment, pausing briefly to lock the door behind him. He felt her squeeze his hand and glanced at her. “You sure you want to do this? I can drop you off at Kotori’s apartment if you want.”   
  
“Yes.” Nico pinched his arm lightly then gripped his vest, tugging him to her. She pulled down her mask with one hand and his too before she pecked him on the lips. “I want to support you, you idiot. Like I support Hanayo.”   
  
Raven blushed furiously, his lips tingling in the wake of hers. “W-What was that for?”   
  
Nico shrugged, pushing her mask back up. “Just felt like it. You don’t mind it, right?”   
  
“Right.”   
  
“Well let’s go good cop.” Nico said with a wink as she tugged him toward the stairs at the end of the balcony.    
  
\----   
  
Raven spotted his sisters right away when he entered the restaurant. They were sitting at a table in the back, most likely Itsuki’s idea. She was still quite shy and tended to shy away from people. He walked over to the table and when he was a couple of steps away, Hisa looked up.    
  
The redhead looked pleased to see him but her expression soured at the sight of Nico.    
  
“What’s  _ she _ doing here?”    
  
“I invited her.” Raven answered, letting go of Nico’s hand. He sat down at the table and Nico sat down next to him. Quickly, he took off the beanie, glasses and face mask Nico had given him, slipping them into his jacket pocket. He took his jacket off too.    
  
“You look nice, Nii-san!” Itsuki piped up from across the table.    
  
“Thanks, Itsuki.” Raven said with a bright smile. He glanced at Nico, noticing she’d taken her ‘disguise’ off too.    
  
“Well at least it isn’t the girlfriend.” Hisa said with a sigh as she leaned back in her seat. “So what brings you here, Nico-san?”   
  
Nico looked up at the sound of her name. “I’m here for support. Raven said he needs to explain something to you.”   
  
“Yeah, about that…” Raven grimaced, realizing he hadn’t actually asked her how much he was allowed to say. He leaned close to her, lowering his voice to a whisper. “What am I meant to tell them?”   
  
Nico sighed and gently pushed against his chest. She focused on Hisa. “We have an arrangement. Me, Raven and Hanayo. That’s all you need to know.”   
  
Hisa narrowed her eyes. “What kind of arrangement?”   
  
Nico leaned in and kissed Raven’s cheek, taking his hand. “What kind do you think?”   
  
“Huh?!” Raven turned to her with wide eyes.    
  
Hisa didn’t look impressed. “Do you expect me to believe that? He’s my brother, I know him better than you do. I’d bet he doesn’t know what you’re talking about.”   
  
Raven suddenly understood what Nico was trying to do. “We’re dating, all of us.” He tightened his grip on Nico’s hand. He felt bad for lying to Hisa but she wouldn’t understand the real arrangement. She would assume Hanayo was using him. “That’s what kind of arrangement.”   
  
Itsuki’s eyes went wide. “Y-You’re dating Nico-chan? I-I mean Nico-san?”   
  
“Yes.” Raven felt even worse about lying to Itsuki. “It’s...It’s new though. Right, Nico?”   
  
Nico nodded in agreement with him. “Very new.”   
  
“I don’t believe you.” Hisa said, frowning.    
  
Raven turned to Nico and pressed his hand to her cheek, turning her toward him. He kissed her, lingering for a long few seconds before he drew away. It was only when he had pulled away that he realized she’d kissed him back. Now, she looked a little flushed.   
  
“There.” He turned to his older sister. “Happy now?”   
  
Hisa grimaced. “I really didn’t need to see that.”   
  
Raven shrugged his shoulders. “Anyway, should we just order now that that’s out of the way?” He grabbed a menu, engrossing himself in that to avoid looking at Nico.    
  
Nico settled back in her seat, her face flush with embarrassment. She picked up her menu too and read through it. She barely noticed the waitress had come over until the others had placed their orders. She placed her own order of yasai curry and glanced at Raven. He was staring pointedly ahead.    
  
Itsuki cleared her throat and leaned a bit closer to Raven. “You haven’t visited in a while, Nii-san.”   
  
“I know, I’m sorry.” Raven said apologetically. “I’ve been so busy with work and moving house. Hey, maybe you can come and stay with me for a while when Hisa-Onee-chan goes away next time?”   
  
“Really?” Itsuki lit up with a bright smile and glanced at Hisa. “Is it okay, Onee-chan?”   
  
“Sure.” Hisa said with a soft smile as she looked toward Itsuki. “If you want to. I’ll be going away for a couple of weeks next month.”   
  
Raven glanced cautiously at Nico. He supposed they would have to work out the details of the arrangement later. He noticed Nico was lightly gnawing her lip, her gaze fixed on the table. He leaned closer to her, hesitantly. “Are you okay?”   
  
“Yeah, fine.” Nico answered with a nod of her head. She flashed him a reassuring smile. “Don’t worry about it.”   
  
Raven leaned back in his chair but he wasn’t convinced.    
  
\------   
  
“So are you going to tell me what’s wrong now?” Raven asked as he walked toward his car with Nico. “You went quiet back in the restaurant for a while.”   
  
“I was just surprised you kissed me, that’s all.” Nico answered with a shake of her head.    
  
“You’ve kissed me twice already.” Raven pointed out with a frown. “I thought we were trying to be believable. Was it not okay that I did it? I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”   
  
“No, it was fine. Just...it’s not the same as when I make the first move.” Nico sighed and shook her head.    
  
“Let me guess, only Hanayo’s ever made the first move?” Raven asked expectantly. He paused next to his car, glancing around. “Let’s not go home yet, it’s still early. I’ll buy you some coffee.”   
  
Nico looked up at him thoughtfully. He hadn’t put his disguise back on and she was only wearing her beanie and glasses. “Sure.”   
  
“Great.” Raven took Nico’s hand in his once more and led her past the car, down the street. He noticed her looking and him and chuckled softly. “Don’t worry. Nobody’s gonna recognize me if I’m not with you. I mean I am but you have your glasses on so…”   
  
Nico rolled her eyes at him. “Where are we going?”   
  
“To the coffee shop I get my coffee from when I’m on duty.” Raven answered brightly. He pointed ahead of them to a coffee shop down the street. “It’s nice, trust me.”   
  
“I…”   
  
“Nii-san! Niiii-san!”   
  
Nico was surprised when Raven stopped suddenly. She felt him let go of her hand and then he turned around, scanning the area around them.    
  
“What is it?” Nico asked in confusion.    
  
“I thought I heard something.” Raven turned back around only to come face to face with exactly the person he thought he’d heard. “Yui-chan!”   
  
“Eh?” Nico looked down in surprise, her eyes widening at the sight of a small girl standing in front of Raven. She was clearly in tears, rubbing her eyes with her hands. “Don’t tell me you have more sisters?”   
  
Raven shook his head in response and crouched down in front of the girl. “What’s wrong? Where are Akari-chan and Kyo-chan?”   
  
Yui sniffled in response. “They’re both looking Reo. He ran off this morning a-and we can’t find him!”   
  
“It’s okay.” Raven gently patted the child’s shoulder, trying to calm her. Seeing Nico crouch down next to him out of the corner of her eye, he glanced at her. “Yui-chan and her friends don’t live far from here. Reo is the cat they found.”   
  
“Oh.” Nico said, still a little confused. “So wait, how do you know them?”   
  
“Kyo-chan’s mom works at the front desk of the station so they come in there a lot.” Raven explained quietly. He winced regretfully. “I’m sorry, I don’t think I’ll be able to go for coffee. Will you be okay to get home? I have to help her look for the cat and her friends.”   
  
Nico glanced at the girl. She looked about nine or ten, she figured. She took off her glasses, pocketing them. “I’ll help you. Yui-chan?” She waited for a tearful nod from the girl. “My name’s Nico. I’m Raven’s friend. I’ll help you too, okay?”   
  
“R-Really?” Yui’s eyes went with gratitude. “Thank you!”   
  
Nico got to her feet and held out her hand, which Yui quickly grabbed. She grabbed Raven’s other hand too and the three began to walk down the street.    
  
“You remind me of my sister, Cocoa. She brings strays home all of the time too.” Nico said with a small smile.    
  
“Reo’s not a stray, he’s a criminal.” Yui and Raven replied in perfect unison.    
  
Nico raised an eyebrow in surprise as the two laughed to themselves. “What?”   
  
“Yui-chan and her friends want to be cops when they get older. They like investigating things around here.” Raven explained, glancing at her with a fond smile. “Just small things, you know? Anyway there was this cat who was running around stealing food and they managed to catch him. They wanted to hand him in but I said they should keep him.”   
  
“He lives in our hideout because our parents won’t let us have a cat.” Yui chimed in. “Nii-san buys his food.”   
  
“Seriously?” Nico asked in surprise. She glanced at Raven who gave a sheepish shrug. “Wow. I guess you are as sweet as Hanayo says you are.”   
  
Raven blushed and shook his head. He turned his attention forward once more and paused, noticing movement in the tree ahead. “There! Isn’t that him, Yui-chan?”   
  
“I’ll get him!” Nico announced. She glanced around to make sure nobody was around before she hurried to the tree.    
  
“Be careful!” Raven called out as he followed her with Yui. He watched as she inched up the tree to the branch the cat was on. He cringed as she hauled herself onto it. “You’re gonna fall, Nico! Just be careful okay?”   
  
“I’m fine, I’m fine!” Nico yelled back down to them. She quickly reached out and took hold of the black and white cat. “Got him!”   
  
“My mom says you shouldn’t climb trees in skirts!” Yui hollered at the top of her lungs.    
  
Nico yelped in alarm at the realization. “Gah! You didn’t look did you?!”   
  
“No!” Raven exclaimed loudly. “Look just jump and I’ll catch you, alright? You can’t get down, can you?”   
  
“W-What about the cat?!” Nico exclaimed.    
  
“Fine, I’ll come up there and help you down, Koneko-chan.” Raven smirked as he approached the tree. He inched his way up it, relieved he’d climbed enough trees when he was younger to know what he was doing. Reaching her, he adjusted himself so he was hanging onto a branch with one hand, his feet planted on the branch beneath. “Swing your leg over the branch and slide toward me. Don’t worry, you won’t fall.”   
  
Nico took one hand away from the cat, holding it close to her chest and did as he asked. “I hope you realize that if you drop me, I…” She let out a gasp as his arm went around her waist and he tugged her off the branch. Her arm went around his neck, clutching the back of his jacket.    
  
“See?” Raven grinned up at her. Glancing down, he carefully guided them down to the branch below before he hopped down from the tree. He set Nico down on her feet and she handed Yui the cat.    
  
“Thank you, Nico-nee-san!” Yui exclaimed, hugging Reo to her. She hugged Raven around his waist before she backed away. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Nii-san!”   
  
“Bye Yui.” Raven laughed to himself as Yui turned and hurried away to find her friends. “She’s a good kid.”   
  
“You’re a good Nii-san.” Nico turned to him and stepped closer, pecking him lightly on the lips. “Thank you for helping me down.”   
  
Raven glanced around, making sure nobody was looking before he tugged her to the alleyway a few feet away. “You should really stop doing that if you don’t want me to kiss you back.”   
  
Nico leaned back against the wall, a smirk on her lips. She hadn’t imagined things playing out like this but she wasn’t unhappy about it. “Who says I don’t want you to?”   
  
Raven pressed both hands to the wall at each side of her head and leaned in, brushing his lips against hers. “So is this okay?”   
  
Nico hummed in response and he kissed her properly, feeling her arms go around his neck. He felt a hand slide into his hair and kissed her harder, lightly nipping at her lower lip. He wasn’t sure if this was okay or would be okay with Hanayo but he would ask her later.    
  
Nico felt her legs tremble beneath her and gripped his jacket, pulling him in closer. As her lips parted for him to deepen the kiss she realized that he tasted similar to Hanayo and wondered if that was why she liked kissing him.    
  
Slowly, Raven pulled back and locked eyes with hers. “If Hanayo was here she’d be taking pictures.” He joked, slightly out of breath.    
  
“You kidding me?” Nico asked skeptically, running her fingers through his short hair. “She’d be drooling or she’d die of a nosebleed.”   
  
“Do you think this is okay?” Raven asked suddenly, a worried look on his face. “Really though? I know Hanayo was joking about it but she doesn’t seem like the type to share. Not that I want her to! I mean...you know.”   
  
“Yeah, I know.” Nico lightly pecked him on the lips once more before she slid away from him. “I don’t think she’d mind, honestly. She’d force us to kiss any time she can. Trust me, she still looks at the pictures. Girl has a voyeurism fetish, I swear...”   
  
Raven winced at that. “I think I’ll...pass on helping her with that one. Hard pass.”   
  
“We can still try what we said in the restaurant, you know. All of us dating each other.” Nico suggested hopefully. “We date Hanayo but also each other. She wanted us to get along in the first place. I actually think she wanted this to happen. She’s still number one though, right? For both of us.”   
  
“Of course!” Raven said quickly, turning to her. “Of course she is.”   
  
“Good.” Nico kissed him again and grabbed his hand. “I believe you promised me some coffee before we go home.”   
  
Raven laughed and let her lead him out of the alleyway.    
  
\----   
  
  
Yukiho sighed as she walked into the living room. After Eli had left her at the train station she had considered calling Daichi but had eventually decided that didn’t want to see him. She had too much on her mind and she’d needed to find a way to clear it. She’d taken a walk instead, a long one at that and had eventually found herself sitting in a cafe, her mind inevitably going back to Eli.    
  
She’d decided to go back to her apartment instead of returning to Kotori’s apartment after that. She’d sent Eli a quick test but she hadn’t received a reply. That had worried her a little so she’d text Kotori too to ask if everything was okay. Kotori responded, at least, telling her everything was fine.    
  
After a restless nights’ sleep, Yukiho had gotten up in the early hours of the morning and decided to go back to Kotori’s apartment. It seemed like everyone was still sleeping when she got there so she took off her shoes and padded into Maki’s study where she found Eli and Arisa sleeping in the same futon. She smiled softly to herself and knelt down next to them.    
  
She gently brushed Arisa’s hair from her face, smiling softly when the girl muttered in protest in her sleep and turned over.    
  
Yukiho’s eyes inevitably slid toward Eli and she reached out with a shaking hand, gently caressing her cheek. She felt her heart skip a beat as her thumb passed lightly over Eli’s lips. She felt a gentle exhale on her fingers and Eli breathed out and leaned into the touch of her hand.    
  
Yukiho licked her own lips, leaning down without even intending to. She couldn’t stop staring at Eli’s mouth as she got closer to her. She just wanted to feel the way she had felt back when Eli had kissed her the first time, just one more time.    
  
Her heart leapt in her chest as she pressed her lips to Eli’s. She made sure to keep all of her weight on her hands rather than bracing herself on Eli though she wasn’t thinking about what would happen if Eli woke up. She was too distracted by the tingle in her lips, the same spark she’d felt back then present once more. She leaned closer, squeezing her eyes shut. Eli’s lips were soft and unmoving beneath her own. Yukiho could only imagine what it would be like to kiss Eli for real. For Eli to kiss her back.    
  
Feeling Eli move, Yukiho jerked away, her eyes wide. Eli’s brow was furrowed but she was still sleeping.    
  
“Honoka…” Eli mumbled, turning onto her side. She still looked distressed, like Honoka had been taken from her yet again.    
  
Yukiho felt a lump form in her throat as she reached up to touch her lips. She felt tears build up in her eyes and pressed her hand over her mouth as they slowly fell. She didn’t know what to do about the feelings she had. Nothing she did seemed to stop them.    



	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning(s): Violence, sexual scenes, angst, SELF-INJURY, swearing and…slight hetero romance?
> 
> Leading off of that, just a note to mention that there are some het scenes in here (not sex, NEVER sex) but like making out etc so if you want to skip those, that’s fine. Just skip the Hanayo scenes and the Nico scenes. 
> 
> Again, skip the Hanayo scenes and Nico scenes if you want to skip the het stuff.

Yukiho stared miserably into the cup of green tea that sat in front of her. It was a Saturday and she had nowhere else to go. She didn’t even want to see her boyfriend, considering how she suddenly felt about Eli. Not suddenly, she corrected herself, shaking her head. Her feelings had been developing for a long time. At least that’s what she thought. She wasn’t sure.    
  
She bit her lip. One of the things that confused her was whether she was attracted to just Eli or whether she could be attracted to other girls too. Maybe she would like kissing other girls as much as she liked kissing Eli. She just wasn’t sure.    
  
Yukiho heard someone enter the kitchen and looked up to see Kotori walk into the kitchen, tugging off the red track top she was wearing as she went. Her hair was tied up into a sigh ponytail, her skin glistening with slightly with sweat as she dropped her top onto a chair and made her way to the fridge. Beneath her tank top, Kotori was only wearing a grey sports bra which looked just a little too tight for her.   
  
“Hey, eyes to the floor, Kousaka junior.”    
  
Yukiho glanced over her should where she found Maki walk into the room with coffee. She noticed the girl was wearing glasses on her head, obviously having been pushed up in a hurry and she still had a book under her arm. “I-I wasn’t looking at anything.”   
  
“You were gawking at her chest.” Maki accused, narrowing her eyes before she turned to Kotori. “Kotori, please don’t strip in front of the hormonal teenager.”   
  
“Hmm?” Kotori turned to Maki and smirked when she noticed that Maki wasn’t even looking at her face. “My eyes are up here, Maki-chan.”   
  
“Uh...sorry.” Maki blushed, looking away though her eyes were inevitably drawn back to Kotori again. “Did you just get back?”   
  
“Yeah.” Kotori grinned and held out her hand to Maki who took it, allowing herself to be drawn close. She pressed a quick kiss to the redhead’s lips, unaware of Yukiho’s eyes on them. “I have to finish a project.”   
  
“When’s it due?” Maki asked, setting her coffee down in favor of placing her hand on Kotori’s lower back.    
  
“Uh...two days.”   
  
“Kotori!”   
  
“I know, I know. I’ve just been busy.” Kotori frowned, bowing her head slightly. She hadn’t been able to focus lately, it seemed. “Oh and mother’s coming over at the end of the week. You’re going to have to explain this ring.”   
  
“W-What?!” Maki spluttered in panic.    
  


Kotori gave a soft laugh. “I’m kidding about the ring. She is coming over though, it’s time for the monthly check-up of the apartment. You might have to take your stuff to your friend’s dorm again.”   
  
Maki cringed at the thought. It couldn’t be helped though. They couldn’t let their parents find out they were together.    
  
“Don’t look so upset.” Kotori kissed Maki once more, lingering for a moment. “I’m going to take a bath if you want to…” She was cut off by a startled inhale from behind her. She glanced over to see Yukiho staring down at the newspaper on the table. She shook her head and turned back to Maki. “Do you want to join me?”   
  
“K-Kotori…” Maki’s face turned red, her tone flustered.    
  
Kotori smirked and grabbed Maki’s arm, tugging her out of the kitchen. “See you later, Yukiho-chan!”   
  
\-----   
  
Hanayo was relieved to find both Nico and Raven there when she opened the door to her apartment. She’d fallen asleep at Kotori’s apartment the previous night so she hadn’t been home yet. She’d sent the two a text to tell them that she would be home the next morning though.    
  
She raised an eyebrow as she closed the door, noticing their were both sitting on the floor, their backs facing her. “What are you two doing?”   
  
“Unpacking boxes.” Raven got to his feet, crossing the room to kiss Hanayo in greeting. “How was your night at Kotori’s?”   
  
“It was fine. Uneventful.” Hanayo answered with a soft smile. “How was lunch with your sister?”   
  
“It was good, Nico came with me.” Raven answered, glancing back at Nico who had slowly stood up from the floor.    
  
“And he was looking fine.” Nico smirked with an approving nod of her head.    
  
Hanayo glanced between them for a moment, her brow furrowing slightly as she watched Raven blush. “Oh my god, you two kissed for real, didn’t you?”   
  
Raven’s eyes widened. “Wait, how did you know that?” He looked to Nico, perplexed. “How did you know she would know?!”   
  
Nico smirked and shrugged her shoulders. “I told you, I know her pretty well.”   
  
Hanayo pouted, crossing her arms in front of her chest. “I can’t believe I missed it!”   
  
Nico and Raven shared an amused look but it was the former who spoke up. “We didn’t really plan it, it just happened.   
  
Hanayo groaned. “Spur of the moment kisses are the BEST. Ugh, I need to be there next time. Maybe for like a date with all three of us.” She brightened quickly at the thought. “Wait, does this mean we can date together? All three of us? Since nobody’s going to be awkward or feel like the third wheel.” She beamed at answering nods from the two of them. “Great! Nico-chan is a great catch, Raven. And Nico-chan, Raven is a good catch too. You’ll both see.”   
  
Nico smiled and shook her head before she stepped forward and lightly kissed Hanayo. “You’re the best catch, idiot.”   
  
“The best.” Raven nodded in agreement. “Though if you want to talk about catching…”   
  
“Don’t.” Nico warned, narrowing her eyes at him.    
  
Hanayo on the other hand seemed to light up with excitement. “Oh, do tell!”   
  
“Koneko-cha…” Raven trailed off at a wither glare from Nico. He cleared his throat but couldn’t wipe his smile away. “Sorry,  _ Nico _ , can’t climb down a tree so she almost got stuck trying to help a cat down.”   
  
“Nico-chan and Maki-chan are like the cats of the group.” Hanayo said in amusement, glancing at her embarrassed looking girlfriend. “Koneko-chan, huh? I’m stealing that.”   
  
“No way, it’s mine!”   
  
“Nobody is calling me that!” Nico exclaimed, flustered. “Since when is this conversation about me anyway?”   
  
“Tsunderes are the cutest!” Hanayo gushed.    
  
“I am NOT cute. I mean…”   
  
Raven lightly patted Nico’s shoulder. “Sorry, Nico. That’s just a lie. You happen to be very cute.”   
  
“Argh…” Nico crossed her arms in front of her chest. “I can’t believe you told her that. I thought we’d keep it to ourselves.”   
  
“I didn’t promise that.” Raven smirked, touching his hand to his chest. “You said it would be too embarrassing for Hanayo to know you got stuck up a tree but she thinks it’s cute anyway, right, Han?”   
  
Hanayo nodded solemnly. “Really cute.”   
  
“You know what else is cute?” Nico perked up, trying to figure out a way to take the attention off of herself. “How intimidated you are by your sister.  _ Super _ cute.”   
  
Raven smirked. “And how you told her you came with me to support me? I think you win.”   
  
Hanayo wrapped an arm around Nico’s waist from behind, drawing her close to nuzzle her neck. “I think you’re both cute.”   
  
“You’re still the cutest.” Nico and Raven said in unison. Their eyes met and then nodded in approval.    
  
“I’m going to finish unpacking those boxes.” Raven said, stepping close to the two of them. He gave Hanayo a lingering kiss, feeling her free hand go to his shoulder. “Why don’t you two take the day together seeing as I kind of…” He paused, his brow furrowing slightly when he realized that he’d been about to say that he’d gotten to spend the evening with Nico the previous day. That wasn’t even their arrangement. “Well anyway, you should spend the day together while I get the apartment cleaned up.”   
  
“I don’t get a kiss!” Nico pouted as Raven tried to step back.    
  
Raven chuckled. “You have Hanayo.”   
  
“Doesn’t mean I don’t want a kiss.” Nico frowned, feeling Hanayo shake with silent laughter against her. “I like kissing both of you, good cop.”   
  
“Alright, alright.” Raven stepped forward again conscious of the fact that Hanayo was watching him. As subtle as she was trying to be, it was still obvious. He glanced to Hanayo. “Is it okay?”   
  
“For the love of the gods, yes.” Hanayo said hurriedly, nodding her head. She loosened her hold on Nico slightly, leaning back. As obvious as she thought her answer should be she couldn’t help but find it sweet that he’d decided to ask her permission.    
  
Raven moved forward, his hand going to Nico’s waist. He pulled her in close and leaned down as she leaned up, their lips meeting halfway. He felt her arms go around his neck as she kissed him back hard. His heart pounded frantically against his chest as her fingers slid into his hair and she gripped lightly, pushing forward to deepen the kiss.    
  
Hanayo watched the two, fanning herself with her hand though it didn’t help much, especially when Nico let out the same husky moan Hanayo herself loved being the cause of.    
  
Raven pulled back suddenly, blushing. “So do we get a score out of ten?” He joked, noticing Hanayo clasping her hands together in glee.    
  
“Twenty out of ten!” Hanayo announced gleefully. “Let’s spend the day together, all three of us. We’ll finish unpacking the boxes and we can make dinner. Right?”   
  
Nico and Raven were quick to nod their agreement to her plan.    
  
“I’m so glad the two of you are getting along.” Hanayo said, clearly elated with the way their friendship had developed. Her smile faded just a little and she looked between the two of them. “Though I better get kisses more like that later. From both of you.”   
  
“Damn straight.” Nico said with a slight smirk. “I’ll give you as many kisses like that as you want. Especially on our date.”   
  
“Ours tomorrow, yours on Friday.” Raven said with a nod of his head as he turned to glance at the boxes still stacked up in the living room. He sighed heavily. He really didn’t want to finish unpacking but he had to.    
  
“And you two can go on a date on Saturday!” Hanayo exclaimed excitedly.    
  
Nico nodded and tied her hair up into a ponytail. “I’m going to start dinner while you two finish unpacking.”   
  
“Hey, you’re supposed to be with Han!” Raven exclaimed quickly.    
  
“I’m the only one in this apartment who can cook anything besides rice.” Nico said pointedly. “Now Hanayo, give me a hand with chopping the vegetables.”   
  
“Yes, chef Nico!” Hanayo replied without hesitation as she followed Nico into the kitchen.   
  
Behind them, Raven shook his head in amusement and turned to go back to unpacking the boxes.    
  
\----   
  
Kotori yawned to herself as she walked into the kitchen. It was getting late and almost everyone else was in bed. She on the other hand, had been up late, finishing her project. Or trying to, at least. She hadn’t quite managed it but she still had another day left. She’d decided to finish up an hour or so ago and head to bed but she’d been distracted by Maki, unsurprisingly. She smirked to herself, recalling the image of Maki sleeping naked in their bed. The girl had passed out ten minutes or so ago, clearly exhausted. She loved making Maki like that.    
  
Now, she just wanted to wind down with a cup of tea and go back to bed with Maki. It had been a long day.    
Yukiho walked into the kitchen, having been studying fairly late herself. She paused, her eyes widening at the sight of Kotori. The girl was leaning over slightly, her elbows braced on the counter. As was usually the case when Kotori was just about to head to bed, she was only wearing a button up shirt and panties.    
  
Yukiho bit her lip, staring at Kotori. She couldn’t help but wonder if it would feel the same as it had with Eli if she kissed her. She was certain she was attracted to Eli, that she had deep feelings for her but she didn’t know if that meant she had feelings for girls in general.    
  
She watched as Kotori slowly straightened up and made her way over to her. “Kotori-san.”   
  
Kotori turned tiredly, catching sight of Yukiho walking toward her. “Yuki-” She was cut off by a hand grasping her wrist, an arm going around her waist. As Yukiho’s lips crashed into hers the cup she had been holding loosely slipped from her hand, smashing at her feet.    
  
Yukiho pressed Kotori to the counter behind her, unaware of the fact that Kotori had seemed to completely freeze under her attention. She hadn’t even heard the cup smashing. All she could focus on was the feeling of actually kissing Kotori. The spark wasn’t there like it had been with Eli.     
  
Just as Kotori seemed to snap out of her shock and pushed against her chest, Yukiho heard another voice.    
  
“Kotori!”   
  
Yukiho finally staggered back, her collarbone twinging as Kotori desperately hit her to push her back. She blinked slowly, noticing tears gathered in Kotori’s eyes. “I-I’m sorry. Oh my god, I’m so…” She didn’t have time to finish what she was saying as someone grabbed her arm, turning her harshly. She gasped when she found Maki standing in front of her, fury written across her face. It looked like she’d gotten dressed in a hurry. Her shirt was partially open and her pajama pants were slipping down one hip. Yukiho realized with a start what she had done.    
  
“Oh my god, you two had...I kissed her after...I-I’m so sorry!” Yukiho looked desperately over her shoulder at Kotori whose head was bowed. “Kotori-san, I’m…”   
  
“What the hell, Kousaka?!” Maki interrupted loudly, gripping Yukiho’s arm tighter. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?! Damn it, I should…”   
  
“Just let her go, Maki-chan.” Kotori spoke, her voice gruff. She didn’t look up from the floor “It’s okay.”   
  
Maki growled in annoyance. “You get to walk away this time because she asked me and you’re Honoka’s sister. If there’s a next time, I swear…”   
  
Yukiho nodded and after Maki let go of her she hurried away, tears spilling down her cheeks.    
  
Maki didn’t hesitate to go to Kotori, gently brushing her hair from her face. “Hey, are y-” She was cut off by Kotori kissing her suddenly. It was only fleeting, barely lasting a few seconds before Kotori drew away again.    
  
“I-I’m sorry, I just need to get rid of…” Kotori paused, shaking her head. “I’ve never kissed anyone but Maki-chan.”   
  
Maki gritted her teeth. “I’m gonna kick her ass.”   
  
“Don’t, I’m just being irrational.” Kotori took a deep breath and quickly wiped her tears away. “It was just a kiss. Maybe she’s just confused or something.”   
  
Maki frowned, shaking her head. “Just a kiss? She made you cry.” She echoed in disbelief. She felt her own eyes prickle with tears. “Nobody makes you cry and gets away with it. Even me.”   
  
“You’re such a crybaby.” Kotori let her forehead rest against Maki’s. “I love you. I love that you care so much but...really, I’m just being stupid. I-It’s fine, right? It’s not like you haven’t had other people...kiss you before, right?”   
  
Even as she said it, Kotori couldn’t help but think that she’d betrayed Maki somehow.    
  
“Remember I told you you don’t have to hide from me?” Maki asked gently. She reached up, running her hand over Kotori’s hair. “Let me take care of you, Kotori. After everything you’ve done for me, it’s my turn. I’m not backing down.”   
  
Kotori shrugged her shoulders and Maki watched her girlfriend take several deep breaths.    
  
“Kotori.” Maki said firmly, grasping Kotori’s hands. “Tell me what you’re thinking.”   
  
“I felt violated.” Kotori said after a brief pause. “She just kissed me without thinking of my own feelings. Like I was being used for my body. I-I told you, it’s...it’s stupid. I just don’t want to kiss anyone but Maki-chan. I only want you touching me like that.”   
  
Maki shook her head. “It’s not stupid. I don’t want anyone but you either. I would feel like this or worse if anyone kissed me. It’s okay to feel like this, it just means we love each other more than anyone, Kotori.”   
  
Kotori bit the inside of her cheek as tears gathered in her eyes. “You’re not mad at me?”   
  
“Why the hell would I be mad?” Maki’s voice came out a little sharper than she’d intended and she winced. “I’m sorry, I just mean...of course I’m not mad. You didn’t do anything wrong.” She sighed in relief as Kotori leaned in to hug her. She gently hugged her back. She was going to have some strong words for Yukiho come morning.    
  
\------   
  
Maki sat on the couch, staring intently at the small hallway leading to the door to her study. She knew Yukiho, Eli and Arisa were sleeping in there and as much as she wanted to storm in there and demand an explanation from Yukiho she knew she’d have to wait until Yukiho left the room so as not to involve Yukiho. That would just make the whole thing a lot messier.    
  
Kotori was still sleeping in their bedroom, thankfully. Maki didn’t want her to hear the discussion she was about to have with Yukiho either.    
  
Maki heard the door open along the hallway and took a deep breath. She didn’t want to be too harsh because she’d seen how upset Yukiho had been but Kotori had been upset too. And Yukiho had had no right to kiss her like she had.    
  
Yukiho finally emerged from the hallway and Maki rose to her feet.    
  
Yukiho froze at the sight of the redhead. “Um...sorry, I-I was just going to school.” She said, moving to the side to try to inch around Maki. She grimaced when the older girl stepped back into her way, towering over her. For someone who was only a year older than her, Maki was certainly intimidating. She looked to be in her twenties.    
  
“Do you know why I’m angry with you?”   
  
Yukiho lowered her gaze to the floor. “Yes.”   
  
Maki crossed her arms in front of her chest. “Look, just because me and Kotori are...gay, doesn’t mean we’re like those fantasy anime couples. You don’t just kiss a girl like that, especially when she’s committed. What the hell were you even thinking?”   
  
“I-I don’t know. I don’t think I was.” Yukiho said shakily. “I thought I was straight but now…”   
  
“Hey, not my department!” Maki interejected loudly, holding up her hand. “Talk to Hanayo or someone about that.”   
  
Yukiho briefly bit her lip. “I-Is Kotori-san bi?”   
  
“I’m not answering that.” Maki said with a shake of her head. It wasn’t her place to tell Yukiho anything personal like that about Kotori.

  
“R-Right, sorry.” Yukiho shifted awkwardly from foot to foot. “Um...when did you know you were gay?”   
  
“Middle school.”   
  
Yukiho’s eyes widened in surprise. “W-What? I thought high school?”   
  
“Never judge a book by it’s cover.” Maki said matter of factly. “There was a reason I was so closed off before your sister. But she also made me realize that I was gay even more.”   
  
“Huh?”   
  
“Your sister or...Chika, to put it simply, hit on me. And I thought that I liked her. Honoka, I mean.” Maki’s brow furrowed, a familiar ache forming in her chest. “I did like her. I liked her a lot. Ah, it’s not the point. I always kind of knew I didn’t like guys, especially all of my childhood suitors. I was afraid. I was supposed to marry a guy who would inherit my family’s hospital. I’m still going to marriage counselling and Kotori knows that but I’ve rejected all of the men my father presents me to. Now me and Kotori are hiding our relationship. Her mother doesn’t even know I live here. Our relationship holds a lot of hardships and now with this whole Chika bullshit our world had been turned even further upside down. At least she’s relying on me now. But you almost fucking ruined it. Relationships are not a game, Yukiho.”   
  
“I know that.”   
  
“You have a boyfriend.”   
  
“Well...not for long.”   
  
Maki sighed and let her arms fall limp to her side. “You need to get your shit together, Kousaka. If you touch my fiance again I’m going to kick your damn ass.”   
  
“Right. I’m sorry.” Yukiho awkwardly rubbed the back of her neck. “I want to tell Kotori-chan I’m sorry too.”   
  
“No.”   
  
“Huh?”   
  
“Stay away from her until after her mother leaves.” Maki demanded pointedly. “Or give her a week at least. She doesn’t want to see you.”   
  
Yukiho frowned. “B-But…”   
  
“Don’t piss me off more, Kousaka.” Maki growled irritably.    
  
“What about Eli-san?” Yukiho asked quietly, nervously wringing her hands in front of her.   
  
Maki rolled her eyes. “What about her?”   
  
“She just...makes me so confused.” Yukiho bit the inside of her cheek, tears forming in her eyes. She really didn’t know what to do. “I don’t know what I am anymore.”   
  
“That’s really not my problem.” Maki replied coldly. She felt a twinge of regret as Yukiho looked away, clearly in tears. “Look just...call Nico, okay? Maybe she can help. Her or Hanayo. You can ask Nozomi for their phone numbers but I’m the last person you want to talk to about this.”   
  
“Why?” Yukiho sniffled, wiping her eyes.    
  
“Because I’ve never liked a guy in my life.” Maki replied, glancing toward her bedroom door. She didn’t want Kotori to walk out and find her with Yukiho. “And I’d just tell you to dump the boy.”   
  
“I’m going to.” Yukiho took a deep breath. “Today, after school. I’m going to break up with him.”   
  
“Just get to school.” Maki growled irritably. “Before Arisa wakes up.”   
  
“Right.” Yukiho hurried past Maki and slipped her shoes on at the door. She grabbed her bag and coat, quickly letting herself out of the apartment.    
  
Maki sighed and drew her phone out of her pocket, quickly calling Hanayo.    
  
“Hello?”   
  
“Can you pick up Yukiho at the station after school?” Maki blurted out without so much as pausing to say hello to the other girl.    
  
“I was going to go on a date!” Hanayo protested loudly.    
  
“Please take the damn idiot and keep her away from the apartment until Monday.” Maki pleaded with Hanayo. “Come on, Hanayo. Please. I know we’re still piecing our friendship back together but just do me this favor. I can’t have her alone in her apartment.”   
  
“Maki…” Hanayo sighed loudly.    
  
“She’s going through a sexuality crisis or something.” Maki told Hanayo, hoping that would sway her decision.    
  
“Fine, I’ll tell Raven to pick her up.” Hanayo relented reluctantly.    
  
“Thank you.” Maki breathed a sigh of relief. “I owe you.”   
  
“Yeah, yeah. Bye, Maki-chan.” Hanayo hung up the phone before Maki could reply.    
  
Maki slipped her phone back into her pocket. She hoped she had done the right thing by sending Yukiho to the three of them. Now she just had to deal with Eli. She made her way to her study, bursting in without knocking to find Eli slowly buttoning up her shirt.    
  
Without a word she strode over to her and grabbed her collar. “You need to get your shirt together!” She snarled angrily.    
  
“What?!” Eli exclaimed, confused as to what Maki was doing. “I-I am!”   
  
“Not just you, you idiot. You need to sort your relationships out too!” Maki ordered angrily. As far as she could see Kotori being hurt was ultimately Eli’s fault. Yukiho’s too of course but the situation had been caused by Eli.    
  
“I AM!”   
  
“Onee-chan!” Arisa who had been standing nearby, completely unnoticed by Maki moved toward them. She somehow managed to slid herself between them and glare up at Maki. “Let go of her!”   
  
Maki ignored Arisa for the most part, merely looking over her head to meet Eli’s eyes. “I’m warning you. If you and your issues affect Kotori one more time…”   
  
“Kotori?” Eli asked, concern reflecting in her eyes.    
  
Maki noticed it just briefly before she felt something push hard against her chest. She stumbled back and looked down, surprised to see Arisa staring at her, her eyes ablaze with anger. Startled as she was, she looked back up at Eli, not addressing the younger Ayase. “Why the hell are you so clueless?”   
  
“Huh?”   
  
“Why do you never see the signs of someone being attracted to you?” Maki asked sharply. She noticed confusion on Eli’s face. It only annoyed her more. “Y-Yukiho did something to Kotori.”   
  
“Did...what to Kotori?” Eli asked, slowly shaking her head.    
  
“She’s having a bi panic and she kissed her!” Maki growled, her hands closing into fists. “She likes you, you idiot!”   
  
Arisa gritted her teeth. It wasn’t Maki’s right to tell Eli that.    
  
“Oh.” Eli looked down, her stomach plummeting. “I should fix this. I need to reject her.”   
  
Arisa’s eyes widened as she turned to her sister. “Y-You can’t.”   
  
“I have to.” Eli frowned, looking up.    
  
“It’ll help her.” Maki said, a little bit calmer this time. “Give her time to recuperate and she’ll be back on Monday. She’ll be with Hanayo, don’t worry. Oh and you better behave when Kotori’s mom comes...shit, I have to get my stuff together…”   
  
Arisa scowled at Maki, irritated that the redhead had barged in on what was happening between Yukiho and Eli. It wasn’t Maki’s business, she thought. She felt Eli’s hand rest on her shoulder and when she looked up, Eli gave a slight shake of her head.    
  
Maki looked between them before she walked out of the room and headed back to her own. She opened the door, finding Kotori hugging her pillow. A smile tugged at her lips and she made her way over, climbing into the bed behind Kotori and taking her into her arms. She lightly kissed the area right behind Kotori’s ear. She swore to herself she would never let what had happened last night happen again.    
  
“I love you.” Maki mumbled into Kotori’s neck.    
  
As if she’d heard Maki, Kotori turned over in her sleep, pressing as close to her girlfriend as she could.    
  
\-----   
  
“So we’re going to go next Saturday?”   
  
Chika had been staring at the lyrics in her book but she looked up at the sound of Kanan’s voice. “I think we should, I just have a feeling this weekend isn’t going to be a good idea.”   
  
You, who was on the bed, holding onto Chika’s toy lobster, sighed. “We should be focusing on our own stuff this weekend anyway...have you guys even listened to Saint Snow’s new song?”   
  
“Huh?” Chika looked up in surprise. “New song?”   
  
“Crash mind. Ruby has it on repeat on her phone.” You answered with a nod of her head. “Damn Leah.”   
  
“She is a good rapper.” Kanan quipped.    
  
“I’m stuck, I don’t have any lyrics in my head!” Chika announced loudly. She closed her book of lyrics and pushed it aside before reaching into her nightstand to take out another book.    
  
“Really, Chika-chan?” You deadpanned when she saw the title. “How to contact the dead?”   
  
“I need to know how to do it!” Chika exclaimed defensively as she opened the book. “I feel like I’m not doing anything at all. None of us know what else to do now that Muse are all back together.”   
  
“Some relationships are getting better it seems.” Kanan suggested hopefully.    
  
Chika leaned back in her chair and glanced over at Kanan who was lounging on the bed. “But everyone is still messed up. Just let me read. I need to figure this out.”   
  
Kanan and You shared a look, the latter shrugging before she hopped up from the bed. She plucked the book from Chika’s hand and skimmed through it, ignoring Chika’s protests. “Hmm, it says there needs to be a comfortable atmosphere for the contact to work. Tenseness and animosity will only scare the spirits. It needs to be somewhere that was important to the spirit when they…” She trailed off, shaking her head and turned the book over. “Who the hell wrote thi...whoa, this woman looks like Nozomi-san!”   
  
“Let me see!” Chika jumped up to look at the picture on the back of the book. “Whoa. So her grandma was a priestess.”   
  
“Priestess?!” Kanan exclaimed, getting up to look too.    
  
“So that’s why she likes the shrines.” Chika murmured thoughtfully. “And why she’s deeply linked to the spirits.”   
  
“Maybe Nozomi should be the one thinking about how to do this.” Kanan pointed out hesitantly. “You um...don’t really know much about this kind of thing, Chika.”   
  
Chika sighed and shook her head. “Nozomi-san already has enough to deal with. Besides she told me she’s not as connected, like she used to be. She can’t even talk to the spirits anymore. So I need to help her somehow get back into her roots! That’s it, I need to be the one to help Nozomi-san for once!”   
  
Kanan looked a little bit doubtful. “Are you sure you can do it. Nozomi kind of hates you?”   
  
“She doesn’t hate me, just just...wants to hate me. It’s complicated.” Chika waved the question off. “I know I can help her find the spirits again! Connect her to the gods and stuff! We just need to bring her to the shrine or something.”   
  
“Or something?” You asked skeptically. “You don’t sound sure.”   
  
“I am, trust me, You-chan.” Chika answered, shaking her head. “I know what I’m doing.”   
  
“She’s so much like Honoka-san it’s crazy.” You sighed. “Just don’t overwork yourself. You always tend to obsess over things.”   
  
“Hey!”   
  
“She has a point.” Kanan chimed in in agreement with You. “Remember you were so obsessed with trying to do a cartwheel when you were six, you had bruises all over your body! I had to patch you up and You carried you home. You was worse though.”   
  
“Hey!” You exclaimed this time.”You were the most impulsive one when we were kids.”   
  
Kanan rolled her eyes. “Yeah, yeah. The point is you should be careful, Chika-chan. Don’t forget about everything else. Your own life.”   
  
Chika smiled and hugged her best friend and girlfriend. “What would I do without you two?”   
  
“Face Nozomi-san’s wrath.” You mumbled as she returned the embrace.    
  
Chika gave a soft laugh in response. “I’m still going to do that, I’ll just have you with me. Well Kanan-chan at least.”   
  
“No, me too.” You said, shaking her head as Chika pulled away from the embrace. “I’ll be there. No more shutting me out.”   
  


“I won’t, I promise.” Chika gripped Kanan’s hand, stepping closer to her girlfriend.    
  
\-----   
  
Raven drummed his fingers against the steering wheel, waiting patiently. Hanayo was leaning forward to look through the windshield for any sign of Yuki exiting the station. As soon as the girl appeared Hanayo was planning to get out of the car and go to her but not a moment before considering how cold it was outside.    
  
“So she’s going to be staying with us for the weekend?” Raven checked, uncertain as to whether he was remembering what Hanayo had said right. “I guess she could take the spare room.”   
  
Hanayo hummed in response and nodded her head. “Yeah, that’s right. It’s just a few days and Maki needs her out of the apartment so I said that we would take her. That’s okay, right?”   
  
“Sure.” Raven answered with a shrug of his shoulders. He frowned slightly, remembering something. “Nico usually sleeps in the spare room though, at least when I’m not working at night. I guess she could take the bed with you and I’ll sleep on the couch.”   
  
“No, we can all fit in the bed.” Hanayo glanced briefly at Raven, noticing the skeptical look on his face. “What?”   
  
“Nothing, I guess it might be...okay. I mean you’ll be there so it won’t be too awkward.”   
  
“Um well...Nico is the smallest so she would have to be in the middle.” Hanayo said with a slight grimace.    
  
Raven’s face fell slightly. “Not you?”   
  
Hanayo shook her head. “If she’s on a side she’ll fall right off.”   
  
Raven ran his fingers through his hair. “I can sleep on the couch. Really, it’s fine.”   
  
“Can we just try?” Hanayo asked hopefully. “One night? Oh there she is.” She leaned over to Raven, pressing her hand repeatedly against the horn before she leaned back and stuck her head out of the window.   
  
“Right here! YUKIHO!” Hanayo called loudly to the girl exiting the station. “YUUUUKIHOOO!”   
  
Yukiho made her way to the car in confusion. “What’s going on?”   
  
“You’re with us now. Get in Yukiho-chan.” Hanayo leaned back into the car, waiting for Yukiho to climb in.    
  
Yukiho got in the back and closed the door behind her, wiping her eyes. She leaned back into the seat, sniffling softly.    
  
Raven and Hanayo shared a look and Hanayo shrugged. She wasn’t sure what was wrong with Yukiho.    
  
“Here.” Raven reached into the glove compartment of the car and emerged with a packet of tissues. He turned to Yukiho, handing them over.    
  
“Thanks.” Yukiho mumbled, taking out a tissue.    
  
Raven paused for a moment, uncertain as to what to do. “Did Maki tell you why we’re coming to pick you up?” He ignored Hanayo shaking her head, focusing on Yukiho instead.    
  
Yukiho shook her head. “I-I broke up with my boyfriend.”   
  
Hanayo sighed, realizing why Maki was making her deal with this. “You’re like me, right?”   
  
“Huh?”   
  
“I’m not gay, I’m bisexual, idiot.” Hanayo said with a roll of her eyes. “He’s my boyfriend, I don’t just like girls.”   
  
“Hanayo.” Raven frowned at her. He lowered his voice to a whisper. “You could be a little gentler, you know.”   
  
Hanayo groaned and turned to face forward again. “Fine. Who made you confused?”   
  
“Eli-san.” Yukiho answered in a small tone of voice. “And Kotori-san.”   
  
“Oh fu-”   
  
“Language, Hanayo.” Raven warned, conscious of the teenager in the back.    
  
Hanayo cursed under her breath and leaned her head on her hand. She wasn’t good with this kind of thing.    
  
Raven turned to Yukiho who was wiping her eyes with the tissue in her hand. “Why did you break up with the boy?”   
  
Yukiho shrugged her shoulders. “I wanted to stop hurting him. I was unfaithful even if I liked him.” She drew her legs to her chest, crying into her knees. She didn’t know what to do.    
  
“Why the hell did you think it was a good idea to pursue Kotori-chan?!” Hanayo exclaimed, unable to hold herself back any longer.    
  
“HANAYO!” Raven exclaimed, his eyes widening at the harshness of her tone.    
  
“I-I don’t know, I just thought...M-Maki-san said you would understand!” Yukiho said tearfully in response.    
  
“It’s Maki, she…”   
  
“Okay, enough!” Raven interrupted loudly. “Let’s just go home. You must be tired, Yukiho-chan?”   
  
Yukiho shrugged her shoulders. “I have a lot of homework. A-And an exam tomorrow. I can’t sleep.”   
  
“You can at least rest while you do it.” Raven said reasonably. “It’ll be fine.” He turned back to face forward and after a brief frown toward Hanayo he started the car and drove off. The journey home was made in silence as was the walk up to the apartment.    
  
They walked in to see Nico approaching the door, her hair up and wearing an apron.    
  
“Nico-san?” Yukiho asked uncertainty.    
  
“Don’t worry, Maki called me.” Nico said with a gentle smile. “Just relax and sit at the table and do your homework. You need to take a breather.” She walked over to Yukiho and drew her into a gentle hug. “It’s gonna be okay.”   
  
Nico frowned after pulling away, looking Yukiho up and down. “You’re soaking. Go into the spare room. There’s some clothes on the bed for you. A hoodie and some sleep pants. Put your clothes in the hamper and we’ll wash them.” Nico said. “Go, go. Take a bath before you catch a cold.”   
  
“R-Right. Thank you, Nico-san.” Yukiho glanced between Nico, Raven and Hanayo before she hurried off to the spare room Nico had pointed out to her.    
  
“I’ll make some tea.” Raven said quietly. He walked past Nico, giving her hand a light squeeze on the way past.    
  
Hanayo frowned after him. “Great, he’s annoyed at me.”   
  
”What?” Nico raised an eyebrow. “Why would he be?”   
  
“I’m not good with kids.” Hanayo answered guiltily. “I guess I kind of snapped at her.”   
  
“Yukiho is like Cocoro.” Nico said thoughtfully as she glanced toward the slightly ajar bedroom door. “Trying to take as much responsibility as possible.”   
  
“You want to take care of her, huh?” Hanayo mused, noticing the look on Nico’s face. “Raven does too. And he hardly knows her. I guess you two are just the type to do that.”   
  
Nico didn’t even appear to be listening. “She’s only seventeen. I wonder how long it’s been since she’s been out of the house. Nozomi thinks it longer than most of us thought.”   
  
Hanayo nodded her head realizing Nico hadn’t heard what she had said. “I’m going to study for a while.” She walked past Nico, heading to her own bedroom. She couldn’t help but feel uncomfortable with having Yukiho in her apartment too. She reminded her too much of Honoka and thinking about Honoka made her think of that night.    
  
Hearing Nico go back to cooking, lightly teasing Raven’s attempts at making tea, she closed the door behind her and took a deep breath. She just needed to stay calm and not think about it, that was all.    
  
\-----   
  
Ruby stared at her laptop screen, slightly in awe. She had been watching a video of Aqours’ latest performance and she had stumbled across an especially sweet comment, praising the group for their efforts. What puzzled her was the fact that the comment had praised her directly too.    
  
She leaned back in her seat, staring at the comment. She was glad Dia wasn’t there because she was sure she was blushing furiously. Dia would probably assume that she had been up to no good with You.    
  
She bit her lip, hesitating for a moment before she clicked on the username above the comment. Snowcat001. The account seemed empty, like someone had made it just to post the comment. Ruby glanced around to make sure Dia wasn’t there before she clicked to send a message to the commenter.    
  
“Um…” She bit her lip for a moment, her fingers hovering over her keyboard. She wasn’t sure what she should say. She’d always been a bit shy when she’d had to speak to other people but it was just a message. She could do it. She began to type, reading aloud. “Thank you for the...no, no. Not that.” She hit the backspace and started again. She decided to start with a question. “Hi! Are you a fan of Saint Snow? Because Snow is in your screen name.”   
  
She looked the comment over. It was short but it would be fine to open a conversation with. She nodded to herself and pressed send before she once again leaned back in her seat, waiting for a reply. In the next room she heard Dia moving around but it didn’t seem like her sister would be coming to her room.    
  
Ruby waited for about ten minutes but finally a reply came through. She eagerly clicked on it, her eyes quickly scanning the message when it loaded on the screen. “Am I that obvious?” She read. She jumped when an invitation to an instant messenger popped up on the screen.    
  
**Snowcat001:** _ So am I? That obvious? _ **  
** **  
** **Aquared:** _ Uh...kinda. _ **  
** **  
** **Snowcat001:** _ Fine, you could say I’m a fan. But Aqours are good too. You guys aren’t stuck on 0 now, right? _ _  
_ _  
_ Ruby’s brow furrowed slightly at the specific reference. Looking back at the username, realization washed over her and she smirked.  **  
** **  
** **Aquared:** _ Leah-san? _ **  
** **  
** **Snowcat001:** _ H-How?! _ **  
** **  
** **Aquared:** _ Your speech pattern comes off in your writing too, you know. _ _  
_ _  
_ There was a brief pause in the responses and Ruby felt a stab of concern. Maybe she had scared Leah off.    
  
**Aquared:** _ Leah-san? _ **  
** **  
** **Snowcat001:** _ I really suck at communication.  _ _  
_ _  
_ Ruby smiled to herself at the response, relieved that Leah was still there.  **  
** **  
** **Aquared:** _ Your rapping makes me think otherwise. _ **  
** **  
** **Snowcat001:** _ NEE-SAMA WRITES THE LYRICS. I’D NEVER COME UP WITH STUFF LIKE THAT. _ **_  
_ ** **_  
_ ** Ruby pressed a hand to her mouth, giggling softly. Leah was too cute. She was about to write out a reply when she heard her phone ding with a notification. She picked it up, looking at her messages. She had one, from You.    
  
_ ‘Chika needs someone to help with writing songs today. Love you.” _ _  
_ _  
_ Ruby beamed and was about to reply when another message followed.    
  
‘ _ Ah, sorry! Too forward. We just started dating!” _ _  
_ _  
_ Ruby giggled as she received a third message.  _  
_ _  
_ _ ‘Yosoru!’ _ _  
_ _  
_ She looked back to her computer screen, noticing a couple of messages.  **  
** **  
** **Snowcat001:** _ Ruby, are you still there? _ _  
_ _  
_ **Snowcat001:** _...Ruby? _ **  
** **  
** **Aquared:** _ Oh, I’m sorry, Leah-chan. I’m still here. _ _  
_ _  
_ **Aquared:** _ I mean Leah-san. _ **  
** **  
** **Snowcat001:** _ I told you you can use chan.  _ _  
_ _  
_ **Snowcat001:** _ Um... _ **  
** **  
** **Snowcat001:** _ Do you want to do a video chat? _ **  
** **  
** Ruby glanced around to make sure Dia wasn’t going to walk in.  **  
** **  
** **Aquared:** _ Sure. _ **  
** **  
** Not even a few minutes later, Ruby heard the familiar call sound and quickly answered the video call. Leah’s face appeared on her screen, nervous and blushing and Ruby broke into a smile. Leah didn’t look at all intimidating. Her hair was down and behind her, Ruby caught a flash of pink. Looking closer she noticed it was a bear plushy. She bit her lip for a moment.    
  
“Hi, Leah-chan.”   
  
Leah flashed a slightly nervous smile. “Um...Nee-sama usually does this with Chika to help with lyrics. I-I thought you we could try. Ugh, this must be creepy.”   
  
“No, no, it’s fine!” Ruby exclaimed quickly, not wanting Leah to get the wrong idea and run.    
  
Leah cleared her throat. “Um...your instagram says you’re in a relationship.”   
  
“Oh yeah, You-chan finally asked me.” Ruby giggled bashfully.    
  
“G-Good. She better take good care of you.”   
  
Ruby smiled widely at the seriously spoken comment. “You’re super cute, Leah-chan.”   
  
“Hey!” Leah’s eyes snapped up from her lap. “I’m supposed to be cool and edgy.”   
  
Ruby raised a skeptical eyebrow. “But you have a pink room.”   
  
“Shut up!” Leah was silent for a second as Ruby laughed at her. “I kind of miss hanging out with you. You’re my only friend besides Nee-sama.”   
  
Ruby leaned forward slightly. “Will you be in Tokyo next weekend?”   
  
Leah frowned. “Do you know how long the train ride will be from Hokkaido to Tokyo?”   
  
“It’ll be worth it?”   
  
Leah sighed. “You’re a bad influence...but somehow I want to do it.”   
  
Ruby laughed sheepishly. “Ruby gets that a lot. I can meet you on Saturday?”   
  
“Fine. But we can’t talk about Love Live! Remember, we’re still rivals.”   
  
“Great!” Ruby smiled gleefully. “It’s a date!”   
  
“DATE?!” Leah’s eyes widened. “AREN’T YOU TAKEN?!”   
  
“Leah-chan, that’s an English phrase.” Ruby explained fondly as Leah turned bright red. “Don’t take it seriously. Just relax. Ruby is sorry. But you’ll be there, right? And you’ll stay over until Sunday? Please?!”   
  
“F-Fine!” Leah said, flustered by Ruby’s pleading look. “This is gonna cost me a fortune…”   
  
“Ruby will pay.”   
  
“WHAT?!”   
  
“Ruby can handle it.”   
  
Leah groaned in exasperation. “Ugh, now you know I’m poor.”   
  
Ruby tilted her head. “You are?”   
  
“NO?!” Leah exclaimed loudly. “ARGH!”   
  
“Leah, keep it down!” Another voice sounded from Leah’s side, vaguely familiar to Ruby.    
  
“S-Sorry Nee-sama!” Leah glanced at her door and when she turned back to the screen she saw Ruby was smiling. “Don’t laugh at me.”   
  
“I’m not.” Ruby said honestly. “But I don’t care how poor you are, you’re still Leah-chan.”   
  
Leah’s eyes darted off to the left. “Really?”   
  
“Mmhm! Best rapper in Love Live!”   
  
Leah groaned in response and shook her head. “So...maybe we can talk before Saturday? I mean just to arrange it.”   
  
“Tomorrow night.” Ruby smiled warmly. “If that’s okay?”   
  
“Great. Nice speaking to you again, Ruby. Um...goodnight.”   
  
“Goodnight, Leah-chan.” Ruby leaned back in her seat as Leah ended the video call. She sat there for a moment before she remembered her text from You. Quickly, she picked up her phone and noticed she had several messages. She hadn’t even noticed the notification.    
  
Her heart wrenched slightly as she noticed the latest message.    
  
“ _ Ruby-chan? I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it if you don’t want me to. It’s to fast, you’re right. I’m sorry. Are we okay?” _ _  
_ _  
_ Ruby quickly answered the text message. “ _ Sorry, You-chan. I was distracted.” _ _  
_ _  
_ Seconds later her phone rang and she answered the call.    
  
“Damn it. I’m sorry, Ruby. Is our date still on tomorrow after school?” You asked hopefully.    
  
“Yes, of course!”   
  
“Um, so…” You hesitated for a moment. Ruby could practically see her fidgeting, in her minds eye. “We’re okay, right? I-I mean us. We are?”   
  
“We’re okay.” Ruby replied, kicking herself for not replying to the messages sooner. “Sorry, You-chan.”   
  
“Right…”   
  
"Um...I'm going to hang out with Leah-chan next weekend if it's okay?” Ruby asked hopefully. “She seems lonely, you know. Ruby can see it in her eyes. She needs a friend.”   
  
"You’re a good friend Ruby." You said quietly. “She seems like a good kid honestly...be there for your friend and take Yoshiko-chan and Hanamaru-chan too!”   
  
“That’s a great idea! You-chan, you’re a genius!”   
  
You let out an awkward laugh. “W-Well I mean…”   
  
“I love you, You-chan!”   
  
“W-What?!” You exclaimed loudly. “Oh thank the spirits, I thought...well it doesn’t matter. But...really?”   
  
“Yes.” Ruby answered seriously. “I love you.”   
  
“I love you too.”    
  
Ruby sighed. “Ruby really wants it to be tomorrow.”   
  
“Well go to sleep and it will.”   
  
Ruby smiled at the logical response. “I will. Goodnight, You-chan.”   
  
“Goodnight, Ruby-chan.”   
\----   
  
“Honoka-chan! Honoka-chan!”   
  
Nico was startled awake by Hanayo tossing and turning next to her. She shot up in bed and blearily looked down at the girl next to her. Hanayo’s face was damp with tears, her brow furrowed in distress. “Hanayo?” She reached down, gently shaking her. “Hey, Hanayo, wake up. It’s just a nightmare.”   
  
“Keep going, Maki-chan. You can’t...stop.”    
  
“HANAYO!” Concerned, Nico shook Hanayo harder, this time managing to wake her. Hanayo’s eyes shot open and locked with hers for a moment before her features crumbled in grief.    
“Honoka-chan…”   
  
Nico leaned down and hugged Hanayo immediately. She cursed herself for not having comforted her earlier that night when Hanayo was clearly distressed by something. “I’m here, I’m not going anywhere.”   
  
Across the room the door opened and Raven ran in, his hair dishevelled. “Hanayo?!”   
  
“I’ve got her.” Nico told him, looking up. “It’s a nightmare. A memory she’s reliving.”   
  
“Oh.” Raven rubbed his face, his heart rate slowly calming. “Is it when…?”   
  
“Yes.” Nico interrupted abruptly.    
  
“She died right next to me.” Hanayo wept into Nico’s shoulder, gripping the girl tightly. “I’m so useless. A-All I could do was cry. I’m sorry…”   
  
Nico felt her own eyes sting with tears and she gently kissed the top of Hanayo’s head. “I couldn’t save her either. None of us could.”   
  
“I want Honoka-chan back.” Hanayo sniffled, shaking her head. “I see her.”   
  
Nico paused for a moment. “What…?”   
  
“I’m the last person she saw before she died.”   
  
“Hanayo, you’re not making sense.” Nico said gently, running her hand over Hanayo’s hair. “It’s not your fault, okay? It’s nobody’s fault.”   
  
“It’s Chika’s fault.”   
  
“Well yeah, it’s definitely her fault. But not yours.”   
  
Hanayo gripped Nico tighter. “I want to punch her so badly…”   
  
“You already did but hold that thought.” Nico looked over at Raven who was watching them with a slight frown. “Hey good cop, get your ass in this bed now.”   
  
“Ah, right.” Raven moved over to the bed, still a little uncomfortable with the idea. He stopped next to it, clearing his throat. “For Hanayo.” He said as though he needed to say that before he did anything.    
  
Nico rolled her eyes at him but she was glad he was there for Hanayo at least. She felt Hanayo lean away slightly from her, pressing back against her boyfriend’s chest as Raven’s arms went around her.    
  
Hanayo sniffled softly as she looked up. “I’m...in the middle.”   
  
“Where you should be.” Raven said, gently brushing her hair from her face where it was sticking to her tear stained cheeks.    
  
“It’s okay.” Nico murmured, gently rubbing Hanayo’s back. “We’re not going anywhere.”   
  
Her hand brushed against Raven’s where it rested on Hanayo’s back and he jumped in surprise. Their eyes met for a split second before they looked away, focusing on Hanayo.    
  
Hanayo sniffled and looked up at Raven. “Are you still mad at me?”   
  
Raven’s brow furrowed and he shook his head. “I wasn’t mad at you so I can’t  _ still _ be mad at you. I’d have to get mad first.”   
  
Hanayo smiled tearily at his typical response. She leaned up, pressing her lips to his without a second thought. She felt him still for a moment before he kissed her back, his hand moving from her face to her shoulder. She felt herself calm slightly. His kisses were always so sweet and slow. Soothing even.    
  
Slowly, she drew away, blinking back the last of her tears. Remembering Nico was closeby, she glanced toward her. The older girl was merely watching them with a grin though.    
  
“You two are so cute. And all mine.” Nico mused happily.    
  
“You two are made for each other.” Raven said with a roll of his eyes though a smile tugged at his lips when he finished speaking.    
  
Hanayo leaned into Nico, gently kissing her before she lay back down and closed her eyes. She was still exhausted but she was sure that with both of them beside her she wouldn’t be having anymore nightmares.    
  
Raven and Nico stared at each other for a moment before Nico took the initiative and leaned in, kissing him briefly. “Night Raven.”   
  
Raven’s eyes widened at the fact that Nico had said his name. No nicknames. “Goodnight, Nico.”    
  
The two lay down, their arms going around Hanayo. This time when their hands brushed, Raven didn’t flinch away.    
  



	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter of ANITW, I hope you guys enjoy!
> 
> Warning(s): Violence, sexual scenes, angst, SELF-INJURY, swearing and…hetero romance?
> 
> Leading off of that, just a note to mention that there are some het scenes in here (not sex, NEVER sex) but like intense making out etc so if you want to skip those, that’s fine. Just skip the Hanayo scenes and the Nico scenes. 
> 
> Again, skip the Hanayo scenes and Nico scenes if you want to skip the het stuff.

Nozomi had just stepped out of the kitchen with her morning cup of coffee when the door opened and Eli walked into the house. She was dressed as if she was going somewhere important, Nozomi noticed. Not like she would usually dress when she was lazing around the house.    
  
“You’ve been getting up early the past couple of days.” She remarked as she watched Eli slide off her shoes. She blew lightly on the steaming cup of coffee in her hand and raised a questioning eyebrow. She had noticed Eli was out yesterday too, before Nozomi herself had even woken up it seemed.    
  
“You don’t have to sound so suspicious.” Eli said, her tone still a bit cold. “I’ve been walking Arisa to school. Now that she doesn’t have Yukiho to walk with.”   
  
Nozomi was surprised by the admission but pleasantly so. “Oh. I didn’t get the call from Nico...that idiot. She could have told me.”   
  
“I’m surprised Maki didn’t tell you about it.” Eli took her coat off, hanging it up before she made her way further into the apartment.    
  
“Maki-chan?” Nozomi echoed in surprise. “Isn’t she at her friend’s dorm right now?”   
  
“She said she’ll be coming back tonight.” Eli said with a shrug of her shoulders. She shoved her hand into the pockets of her jeans as she paused next to the couch. “When Kotori’s mom leaves.”   
  
“Right, yeah. We should probably make ourselves scarce too.” Nozomi said thoughtfully. Kotori had told them her mother would be there around noon and she’d be staying until early evening before she left. Apparently it was a routine check-up. “It must be hard, having to keep their relationship a secret.”   
  
“I wouldn’t know.” Eli answered simply. She narrowed her eyes at Nozomi for the briefest of moments before she schooled her expression back to neutral.    
  
“Right, you didn’t really try to keep your relationship with Honoka a secret.” Nozomi said thoughtfully, recalling when Eli had been with Honoka. “Her parents were pretty accepting.”   
  
Eli nodded slowly in response. “And you did?”   
  
“Of course I did. Well until Umi-chan just came out with it and ended up being disowned.” Nozomi’s tone was a little clipped and she calmed herself by taking a sip of her hot coffee. The slight burn to her tongue was enough to distract her.  "I'd have thought your parents would do the same if they found out about you and Honoka.”   
  
“My mom didn’t care enough to pay attention. My dad knew.” Eli crossed her arms and looked down at the floor. She didn’t especially want to be talking about the past. “Grandma would freak out though. Even though I love her she’s so traditional.”   
  
A slight smile tugged at the corners of Nozomi’s lips at the fact that Eli was actually speaking to her. Albeit it still felt a bit awkward. “I’m surprised Kotori hasn’t come out to her mom yet. Out of all of us I thought she would be the first…”   
  
Eli shrugged her shoulders. “She probably wants to at least a little bit. Maybe she’s just worried. And Maki wouldn’t want her being disowned by her parents like Umi was, right?”   
  
“Well...yeah.” Nozomi said, surprised by Eli’s response. “Besides, Maki’s parents are worse than Kotori’s mom.”   
  
“Yeah, I know.” Eli sighed and moved to sit on the couch. “At least they’re still together though.”    
  
“Right.” Nozomi awkwardly cleared her throat. She didn’t know how she was meant to answer that without making eli angry with her. “So uh...why is Yukiho-chan staying with Hanayo-chan anyway?”   
  
“Because she kissed Kotori and Maki is pissed with her.” Eli’s simple explanation caused Nozomi’s eyes to widen.    
  
“WHAT?!”   
  
“It’s my fault really.” Eli sighed and leaned her head back against the couch. She heard footsteps and looked up to see Nozomi sit on the table in front of the couch. “Apparently she has feelings for me and she was confused. And that’s why she kissed Kotori.    
  
“But Kotori is with Maki, she wouldn’t…”   
  
“She didn’t.” Eli cut in before Nozomi could finish what she was saying. “That’s probably why Maki was so pissed about it.” She ran a hand through her hair. “I’m gonna have to tell her I can’t be with her, aren’t I?”   
  
“Yes.” Nozomi answered with a nod of her head.    
  
Eli groaned. “I don’t want to hurt her. I care about her too, you know. But I could never imagine myself with anyone but Honoka. And Yukiho is her sister, it’s…it would just be wrong even if I did want it.”   
  
“Maybe don’t tell her that part.” Nozomi advised thoughtfully. “You need to tell her the truth though. At least that way she can stop hoping that you might feel the same way. Trust me, I know from experience.”   
  
“Right, um…” Eli looked down at her hands. “I didn’t know about that.”   
  
“Forget about it.” Nozomi said with a wave of her hand. “You helped me in a way. I mean I have Umi now, don’t I? And I’m happy with her. Happier than I’ve ever been even though...there are things I’d want to be different. I wouldn’t change Umi for anything. She’s the most selfless person I’ve met.”   
  
“Even with...her anxiety?”   
  
“She had a panic attack once, I thought she’d stopped breathing even.” Nozomi confessed, feeling a little guilty. “But even after that she still wiped my tears and helped me calm down. I don’t know what I would do without her.”   
  
“Umi loves you.” Eli said, her voice catching slightly as she spoke. “So much. Like I…” She swallowed convulsively. “Like I loved Honoka. The difference is she’s a better girlfriend than I ever was.”   
  
As Eli moved to stand up, Nozomi caught the blonde girl’s hand, noticing tears lining her eyes. “That’s not true. You gave Honoka-chan hope. She told me, you made her happy. That she couldn’t have gotten through what was happening if she hadn’t had you there with her.”   
  
Eli stared at Nozomi through tear filled eyes. “I haven’t been a very good friend either. To any of you but especially you. You were meant to be my best friend and I told you it was your fault.”   
  
“It…” Nozomi paused for a moment, a familiar ache forming in her chest. “It was my fault. I should have been able to help her. You weren’t wrong about that.”   
  
“Maybe not but we all make mistakes.” Eli took a shuddering breath and wiped at her eyes. “Honoka wouldn’t want us to hate each other. She wanted us to stay best friends.”   
  
“Then let’s get that back.” Nozomi felt her own eyes prickle with tears and she tugged on Eli’s hand, pulling her into her arms to hug her tightly. She almost expected Eli to push her away but the blonde held onto her even harder than Nozomi was holding her. “Let’s be best friends again.”   
  
\-----   
  
Nico took the dish Raven handed to her, using the towel to dry it off. “So are we still on for our date tomorrow?”   
  
“Sure.” Raven answered quietly, picking up another plate to scrub it clean.    
  
Nico shifted next to him, her arm brushing against his. “I think we should take Yukiho with us.”   
  
“Huh?” Raven glanced at her in confusion.    
  
“Yeah.” Nico locked eyes with him, smiling warmly. “Let’s go to the amusement park or something. It kind of seems like she hasn’t done much for herself the past few years, right? It’ll be good for her.”   
  
“Oh. Sure then.” Raven answered with a nod of his head. “I don’t mind her coming along. I feel bad about leaving Hanayo alone though, maybe I should...”   
  
“She’s going to Maki-”   
  
“Kotori’s.”   
  
“Right, Kotori’s apartment again tomorrow.” Nico shook her head with a soft laugh. “So she’ll probably be out until we get back.”   
  
Raven felt his lips twitch into a smile too. “What does she even do over there?”   
  
“Probably drink with Rin.” Nico answered, not entirely sure what Hanayo did when she was at Kotori’s apartment. She supposed it was something along those lines.    
  
“So you really are good with children.” Raven spoke, deciding to change the subject.    
  
“Children, toddlers, teenagers, preteens...you know it, I can handle it.” Nico replied with a smirk. “I just suck at my own life. Honestly, I don’t think I’ve ever done anything that was just for myself besides my job…”   
  
“We should go to karaoke.” Raven suggested bluntly.    
  
“What?” Nico raised her eyebrows, surprised by the idea. “Why?”   
  
“Because you obviously love singing and I want you to have fun?” Raven asked as if it was obvious. “You need to be a little bit selfish sometimes, Nico.”   
  
“You sound childish.”   
  
“Ouch.” Raven replied with a faux wince. “We are still children even at this age, you know. We could go to the arcade too. Yukiho will like it, right?”   
  
“F-Fine.” Nico turned away from him, flushing red. “I’ll totally beat you at DDR.”   
  
“First you need to teach me. I can’t…” Raven notice her hand reach out and grab the faucet, taking it out of it’s holder right before he felt a spray of water hit him in the face. He spluttered in shock, stumbling back.    
  
“H-Hey!”   
  
Nico tossed the faucet into the sink and smirked. “Well first you need to earn my teachings.” her smirk slipped just a little when she noticed him frowning. For a moment she worried she had gone too far. “Um…”   
  
“This is my favourite shirt.” Raven complained, tugging the damp shirt off. He shook his head, drips of water flying from his hair.    
  
“Huh?” Nico looked down, catching sight of abs. Feeling her face grow red she grabbed a towel and shoved it to his chest. “D-Don’t undress in front of me!”   
  
“Huh?”   
  
“I’ve only ever seen my little brother naked when he was way younger, I’m not used to a man’s body!”   
  
“Oh.” Raven paused for a moment, his stomach plummeting, His own face burned with embarrassment and he quickly tried to cover himself with the towel. When it didn’t work, he quickly picked his shirt up and tugged it back on, cringing at how wet it was. “I-I mean you’re the one that sprayed ME. I didn’t...I mean I guess...argh, I’m sorry. You’re right, I should have just gone to the bedroom.”   
  
Nico cast a glance at him, biting her lip. He seemed to be really beating himself up about the situation. “It...it wasn’t just your fault. I shouldn’t have sprayed you.”   
  
“Yeah, um…” Raven refused to meet her eyes, awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck. “Well I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. I guess I would...well I know I would definitely react the same way if you took your shirt off.” He gave a slight laugh. “You know, I’ve only ever been with Hanayo. I’ve never had an interest in anyone else.”   
  
“S-Same.” Nico said nervously. She’d been with Riko but it had turned out the the girl wasn’t being honest with her so she hardly counted that. “You’ll need to take that off or you’ll catch a cold. And won’t be able to have our date.”   
  
She walked forward and gripped the hem of his shirt much to his surprise. She tugged up only to pause as the backs of her hand brushed against his tone stomach. She could feel abs beneath her hands. “Is that selfish?”   
  
“You not wanting me to get sick because you want to spend time with me?”    
  
“Y-Yes.”    
  
“I don’t think so.” Raven answered in a whisper. He hardly needed to talk loudly now, with her so close to him. “I’ve never thought of you as selfish since I met you. But you should be, a little.”   
  
Nico bit her lip.    
  
“You know.” Raven reached down and touched her hand. “You can let go now. Don’t worry so much. I’ll go and warm up in the shower so I don’t catch a cold. Don’t worry.”   
  
“R-Right. Get your ass in the tub or I’ll never forgive you.”   
  
Raven smirked and let her go. “Sure thing, Koneko-chan.”   
  
“You’re the only one that can call me that!” Nico called after him loudly. “But don’t think it means anything...good cop.”   
  
“Whatever you say.”   
  
Nico let out a breath as he left.  "Hanayo how the hell did you catch such a guy..."   
  
"Nico-san..."   
  
"Yukiho?" Nico was surprised to find Yukiho standing a few feet away.    
  
Yukiho blushed. "S-Sorry, um here is my plate...me and Hanayo-san are done with my work..."   
  
"Good. Oh, I wanted to ask..do you want to go to the amusement park tomorrow?” Nico asked, taking the plate from Yukiho. “ I bet you haven't had a fun saturday in a while, huh?”   
  
“S-Sure, if we can do it around four. That's when I get out of my weekend classes…”   
  
"Great!"   
  
“Um...I thought you had something with Raven-san tomorrow though?” Yukiho asked unsurely. “What are you going to do about that…?”   
  
“Ah, he’ll be there too. If that’s okay?” Nico asked hopefully.    
  
Yukiho shrugged, her hands going to the pocket of her sweatshirt. “I guess it’s fine. He doesn’t mind that I’m tagging along, right?”   
  
Nico shook her head. “I think it’ll help him loosen up honestly. Us alone would be too nerve wracking, I think. Besides I think you’ll get along with him a lot. He’s sweet.”   
  
“Right.” Yukiho mused to herself. “Well I guess it won’t hurt to take a break…”   
  
“Good!” Nico smiled widely at the agreement. “It’ll be fun, I promise.”   
  
\----   
  
“A cafe, huh?” Dia mused to herself, shifting to the left to make sure that she was situated behind the bush in front of her. She felt a little bit guilty for spying on Ruby like this but she told herself that she wasn’t  _ really _ spying on Ruby. She was spying on You.    
  
Mari straightened up. “So what are they doing?” She gasped as Dia grabbed her hand and dragged her back down.    
  
“SUBTLE, Mari-san. Do you have any idea what that mean?” Dia hissed sharply. “If they see you they’ll know I’m with you and they’ll find out what we’re doing.”   
  
Mari laughed at the alarmed look on Dia’s face. “Spying on them you mean?”   
  
Dia sighed and looked past the bush again. “She could have at least dressed properly.” She said dryly, noticing that You was wearing overall shorts with tights, a white shirt and a light blue jacket. She twitched, noticing Ruby’s pink tanktop and black and white polkadot skirt, topped off with heels. “You could at least give her your jacket!”   
  
In the small outside cafe, You shivered and pulled off her jacket. “It’s getting hot…”   
  
Ruby shivered too, but for a different reason. “A-Are you serious? It’s so cold.”   
  
“Ah, I-I mean here...wear my jacket!” You quickly handed over the jacket to Ruby who slowly slipped it on. “Um...sorry I didn’t have anything really...fancy to wear. I d-don’t really like that kind of stuff. I’m sorry. I’m really not that girly but I do have skirts. Mostly jean skirts but still.”   
  
Ruby smiled softly at You. “I like your overalls. I like all of the clothes you wear.”   
  
“Ruby is smooth.” Mari smirked to herself as she moved closer to Dia to listen in. “Much smoother than Youcchi.”    
  
Dia growled under her breath. “She still should have dressed appropriately.”   
  
Mari laughed softly and leaned into Dia. “I thought you were okay with them dating now?”   
  
“I said I give them my blessing, I still need to make sure You-san treats Ruby well.”   
  
Mari smirked. “Maybe you should be more concerned with Ruby treating Youcchi like a gentlewoman. After what Kanan told me about Ru-”   
  
“Ah, I don’t want to hear that!” Dia exclaimed loudly, pressing her hands to her ears.    
  
“I’m just saying, it seems that Ruby is the one focused on sex.” Mari said matter of factly. “More focused on sex than either of us, if…”   
  
Dia sighed in response. “What do you not understand about I don’t want to hear that? And it’s not saying much, we’re not even having…” She lowered her voice to a whisper. “Sex.”   
  
“Oh really? Do you want to?”    
  
Dia blushed. “Ah...that’s a discussion for a private setting.”   
  
Mari pushed Dia to the ground by her shoulders before leaning in close to her. “Is this private enough? So...do you? If Ruby can do it to Youcchi...” She moved forward until Dia collapsed back onto her back. Mari comfortably straddled Dia’s hips. “So…?”   
  
Dia bit her lip and averted her eyes. “So what if I do?”   
  
The almost honest answer caught Mari off guard for a moment, giving Dia enough time to reverse their positions, flipping Mari over.    
  
Mari stared up at Dia in shock. “What just happened?! Ae both Kurosawa sisters sexy dominating fiends?! Strong hot!”   
  
“Don’t call my little sister...that.” Dia said, scrunching up her nose. She slowly leaned in to Mari though, their lips barely brushing. She knew that they were out of sight where they were so she didn’t mind a little bit of affection. “But I do want it.”   
  
Mari’s breath hitched as she felt Dia’s warm hand creep creep into her blouse. She realized in surprise that Dia had unbutton it just a little. “You do…?”   
  
Dia moved down, pressing her lips lightly against Mari’s neck. “Mmhm.” She murmured, basking in the softness of Mari’s skin beneath her lips. She could smell a hint of perfume on her but she wasn’t sure of the type. “I want you.”   
  
Mari couldn’t help but wonder how Dia had managed to turn the tables on her. They’d only really made out so Mari hadn’t been serious when she’d been teasing Dia about wanting sex. “I am so turned on right now…”   
  
“Mari-san!” Dia pulled back, Mari’s blunt honesty startling her.    
  
“Aaaw, you’re done?” Mari pouted. “I don’t even get one kiss?”   
  
Dia leaned in and kissed Mari hard, her fingers sliding into silky blonde hair as she pressed herself closer to the girl beneath her. She slipped her tongue past readily parted lips, drawing a sharp whimper from the girl beneath her. Dia lingered for a second before drawing back. “We’ll talk about this later. Kanan-san is gonna laugh so hard when I’m done with you. Now we have to get back to...” Dia looked over the bush, her eyes widening when she didn’t see Ruby and You. “They left?!”   
  
“Wait, what did you mean by that?!” Mari scrambled to her knees, looking up at Dia. “Dia!”   
  
“Mari, they left and we didn’t even notice!” Dia exclaimed loudly. “They didn’t even eat yet!”   
  
“But what did you MEAN by that?!”   
  
“Come on, we have to go. Maybe we can catch up to them.” Dia grabbed Mari’s hand and tugged her to her feet before she started off down the street.    
  
“But WHAT DO YOU MEAN?!”   
  
\----   
  
Yukiho couldn’t help but feel nervous as she slowly approached the large entrance to the amusement park. It had been years since she had been to one and she felt excited but also a little guilty at having just left Eli and Arisa.    
  
Spotting Nico and Raven waiting for her near the gates she slowly approached them, taking in what they were wearing. Nico seemed to have dressed down. Her hair was pulled up into a bun while she was wearing ripped black jeans, a long white shirt with a leather jacket over it and red converse to complete the look. She was also wearing glasses with a beanie on her head, Yukiho noticed.    
  
Raven on the other hand was dressed in black jeans, a red cut crew shirt that read ‘nice beat’ and a black jacket. On his feet she noticed he sported converse like Nico but his were black.    
  
Yukiho watched as Raven suddenly plucked the beanie from Nico’s head with a laugh.    
  
“You should flaunt your hair, it looks cute.”   
  
“I’m trying to be incognito!” Nico spluttered, grasping for her hat. He held it a little out of reach. “Ugh. Fine. I guess it doesn’t matter anyway.”   
  
“We’re at an amusement park, nobody’s gonna recognize you here.” Raven grinned and pocketed the beanie, earning himself an unimpressed look from Nico. “You can keep the glasses. They look good on you.”   
  
Yukiho felt her stomach sink slightly. The two really did act like a couple. She hoped she wouldn’t end up being a third wheel. She cleared her throat as she came to a stop next to them. “Um...hi.”   
  
Raven looked up at the sound of Yukiho’s voice. “Hey. Cute outfit.”   
  
“Ah…” Yukiho glanced down at what she was wearing, blushing slightly. She was so overdressed and it was their date, not hers. She should have dressed down. “Thanks, I-I think.”   
  
“I have the tickets right here.” Nico reached into her pockets and took out three tickets. She handed one to each other them with a soft smile. “So let’s get in.”   
  
“Are you sure this is okay?” Yukiho asked worriedly. “I feel like I’m intruding on your date or something. M-Maybe we could do this another time or…”   
  
“It’s fine. It’ll be more fun this way.” Raven ruffled Yukiho’s hair before he turned and walked toward the entrance.    
  
“Is he…?” Yukiho looked to Nico hesitantly.    
  
“From what I’ve heard he doesn’t lie.” Nico said with a shake of her head. “We want you here, Yukiho. Trust me.”   
  
Yukiho looked down at the ticket in her hand before she smiled and ran on ahead to catch up with Raven.    
  
Nico watched the two with amusement before she walked after them, her hands clasped behind her back and her purse over her shoulder. She looked to the sky, noticing how nice it was out. Hopefully it would stay that way.    
  
She caught up to the two in time to hear Yukiho answer a question from Raven.    
  
“Uh...I don’t know. Mostly I just study o-or I um…” Yukiho hesitated for a moment, trying to think of something interesting to tell him. “Practice for swim meets.”   
  
“Wait, you swim?” Raven asked, perking up a little as he turned to her.    
  
“Um...yeah. I’m captain of the all girl’s swim team at my school.” Yukiho admitted. She felt a little embarrassed by his awed expression. “I-It’s not that big of a deal.”   
  
“Are you kidding? It totally is!” Raven disagreed with a shake of his head. “I was on the swim team too. I didn’t make it to captain or anything though. But I guess I could have eventually. That’s what everyone used to say anyway.”   
  
“Did you quit?” Yukiho asked curiously. “What happened?”   
  
“I ended up with a rotator cuff injury at the start of my third year.” Raven gripped his shoulder, rotating it. It was fine now but back then it had caused a lot of trouble. “So I had to quit the team.”   
  
Yukiho grimaced at that. “I’d hate to have to quit the team.”   
  
“It gave me time to focus on other things. I had to really push myself to study harder in my final year so I could get into a decent university. Because I couldn’t count on a scholarship anymore.” Raven explained with a shrug. “It wasn’t a big deal though. But anyway, you must be really good at swimming to be the captain of your team.”   
  
“I-I’m okay.” Yukiho said with a blush. “I’m the fastest anyway.”   
  
“We should race!” Raven announced excitedly. “In the pool sometime, I mean. It would be fun.”   
  
Nico snorted. “Don’t you think you’d be a little rusty? She’d kick your ass.”   
  
“Hey!” Raven announced in mock offense though he smiled right after. “I just think it would be fun, that’s all. What do you think, Yukiho-chan?”   
  
“Well...sure, if you want.” Yukiho said with a small smile. “But Nico-san is right, I will kick your ass. Oh, do you wanna race us, Nico-san?”   
  
“Uh…” Nico looked to the side, blushing. “I-I don’t think so.”   
  
“Aaaww, why not?” Yukiho pried disappointedly.    
  
“Well you see...I can’t swim.” Nico felt her face warm further. She noticed Raven’s step falter for just a second. “Go ahead and tease me.”   
  
“I’ll teach you.” Raven smiled, reaching for her hand. He grasped it in his own threading their fingers together. “That can be our next date. The pool.”   
  
Nico smiled at Raven but upon hearing a quiet squeal of delight from Yukiho, she glanced toward her.    
  
“Sorry. Say yes, Nico-san!” Yukiho exclaimed hopefully.    
  
“I um...well fine. ONLY if I can wear my floaties.” Nico turned questioningly to Raven.    
  
“Only for the first part.” Raven replied with a nod of his head. “And then you have to make do without them. Don’t worry, I’ll be the one that keeps you afloat.”   
  
Nico blushed brightly all the way to the tips of her ears and nodded her head. “O-Okay.”   
  
Yukiho watched them curiously. She would have to ask Raven how that went.    
  
“Oh, I love these things!” Raven exclaimed, brightening visibly as he spotted something ahead of them. He hurried forward, still holding Nico’s hand and Yukiho was forced to pick up her pace to keep up.    
  
Yukiho looked up at the stall they had stopped in front of. “A competition?” She asked skeptically. “So you have to shoot down the ducks to win prizes, huh?” She gave a short laugh. “I bet I could kick your ass at this too.”   
  
“Alright!” Raven let go of Nico’s hand and hit his fist against the open palm of his left hand. “If I win you have to buy me um...cotton candy! If you win I’ll buy you dinner!”   
  
“Ehh?!” Yukiho exclaimed, a little offended. “We should make it even. I’ll buy you dinner too.”   
  
Raven waved her off. “Nah, I want cotton candy. Anyway, I’m at an advantage. I  _ am _ a cop, you know.” He heard Nico snort and looked toward her to see her trying to cover a smile with her hand. “What? I’m serious. Just watch.”   
  
“Mmhm.” Nico grinned.    
  
“Oh, we’re up!” Raven looked to the guy behind the counter to make sure that was okay. Receiving a nod, he turned to Yukiho. “You can go first.”   
  
“Thank you.” Yukiho picked up the toy gun and aimed it at one of the ducks moving across the top row. Taking a breath, she fired. And missed. “Damn it.”   
  
Raven playfully patted her shoulder. “Let me show you how it’s done. You should start thinking about which of those plushies you want, Nico.”   
  
He raised the gun in his hand and narrowed his eyes. Deciding on a duck on the middle row, he lowered the gun slightly.    
  
Noticing the movement, Nico cleared her throat and tugged at his jacket. “You need to go for the top row. You said I could pick, right?”   
  
Raven glanced down at her surprised by how timid her tone was. He nodded in response, feeling his cheeks warm. “So which do you want?”   
  
“Um…” Her face red, Nico stepped a bit closer to him, pointing toward the large panda plushie.    
  
“Sure.” Raven smiled, turning his attention back to what he was doing. He took a breath and aimed, choosing the duck to the left. He waited a moment before pressing the trigger. He hit the duck and it toppled back.    
  
“Say, how many times do I have to hit the ducks to get that panda there?”   
  
“Five. You can’t miss a shot.” The man behind the counter said, looking at Raven skeptically. “You might want to aim lower…”   
  
Raven scoffed in response and shook his head. He glanced at Nico. “You definitely want that one?”   
  
Nico nodded emphatically in response, her glasses slipping down a little.    
  
“Right.”   
  
“You can take your turns before me.” Yukiho offered, nudging him from the side. “This is more interesting than our competition anyway.”   
  
“Thanks.” Raven turned back to the ducks, focusing his attention. Deciding to take his shots all at once he fired. The next four shots knocked down all four ducks he aimed for. “Yes!”   
  
He accepted the panda plushie from the surprised man behind the counter and handed it over to Nico, smiling broadly. “Told you I’d be good at this!”   
  
Nico hugged the panda to her chest and chuckled softly at his response.    
  
“So what do you want to name him?” Raven asked, vaguely hearing Yukiho curse behind him as she missed another shot.    
  
Nico thought about that for a moment before she answered. “Senshi.” She leaned up, giving him a light peck on the lips. “Thank you.”   
  
“Heh.” Raven blushed furiously and reached up to nervously run his fingers through his hair. “W-Well…”   
  
“YES!!!!”   
  
Raven jumped in surprise at the outcry from behind him. He turned to see Yukiho lowering the gun in her hand. “Did you win?”   
  
“Well...I got one shot.” Yukiho said sheepishly. “But those guns are too light! This game is rigged!”   
  
Raven laughed loudly at her accusation. “So what did you win?”   
  
Nico smiled at seeing a genuine smile on Yukiho’s face. She looked like a girl her age for once.    
  
“Well…” Yukiho turned to accept the small bear plushie the man behind the counter was holding out to her. “I won this. But you also owe me a dinner! Or whatever else I want!”   
  
“First of all you didn’t technically win. And whatever else you want?” Raven asked, raising his eyebrows.   
  
Yukiho shrugged. “I’m a big eater. And I got one shot, that has to count for something. You said it yourself, you practically cheate-”   
  
“Alright, alright!” Raven laughed at her complaining. “But you still have to buy me cotton candy since I still technically won, even if I did cheat a little.”   
  
Yukiho nodded exuberantly. “Oh, I can see it. I’ll go get it! No take backs though, you do owe me dinner!”   
  
“Wha…?” Raven watched in surprise as Yukiho turned and jogged away. Shaking his head in amusement, he looked at Nico who was still hugging the panda he’d won for her. “You’re enjoying this too much.”   
  
“Yes.” Nico agreed as they walked a few paces from the stall to wait for Yukiho. “You’re good with her.”   
  
Raven shrugged sheepishly. “I kind of want to introduce her to my sister.”   
  
“Hisa?! Hell no!”   
  
“Itsuki.” Raven said with a roll of his eyes. “I get the impression she might not have many friends her own age so I thought maybe if she met itsuki they would get along. Though Itsuki’s pretty shy…”   
  
“Yukiho does need more friends.” Nico said in agreement. “And she’s shy too when she doesn’t know the person. Itsuki seems sweet, I think they’d get along.”   
  
“Right, I…” Raven jolted in surprise when Yukiho skidded to a halt next to him. He noticed she was a little out of breath. “You didn’t have to run, you know.”   
  
“Here.” Yukiho handed him his cotton candy and adjusted her grip on the shaved ice she was holding in her other hand. “Ah, cold! Oh, Nico-san, I realized when I was at the front of the queue that I didn’t ask if you wanted anything. I can go back if…”   
  
“I’m fine.” Nico said with a smile. “Thank you, Yukiho.”   
  
“You can have some of mine.” Raven offered, plucking some cotton candy off for her. “Say ah.”   
  
Nico blushed as his fingers neared her. “A-Ah…” She closed her mouth around the cotton candy when it brushed against her tongue.    
  
Yukiho giggled at the gesture. The Nico she knew was usually quite assertive. “Whipped!”   
  
“Hey!” Raven exclaimed in offense.    
  
“Actually you’re both totally whipped for each other.” Yukiho said in amusement. “And Hanayo-san. Anyway, let’s go and play more games! I bet I could win you at darts. You should try too, Nico-san! Come on!”   
  
Raven laughed softly as he took Nico’s hand once more. He paused after a couple of steps, realizing he’d done that on a couple of occasions. “You don’t mind this, right?”   
  
Nico shook her head. “Don’t worry, I like it. I feel safer with my hand in yours.”   
  
Raven smiled at the answer and nodded his head. “Uh...we better make sure we don’t lose Yukiho-chan.”   
  
Quickly, the two sped up to keep up with the teenager.    
  
\-----   
  
Nozomi could feel Umi’s eyes on her as she packed her clothes into the bag she was taking with her. “You don’t have to worry, it’s only a day.”   
  
“I’m not worried, I was just trying to remember the last time we spent the night apart.” Umi replied from where she was sitting at the desk, watching Nozomi. She did feel a little bit anxious, she had to admit. “It must have been before I moved to England, right? So over a year?”   
  
Nozomi paused at the thought. “Yeah. I think that sounds right.But the fact that you’re thinking about that means you’re worrying about it.” She turned to Umi, planting her hands on her hips. “I know you, Umi-chan.”

  
Umi blushed. “Well maybe. Is it so bad that I want to go with you?”   
  
“No.” Nozomi walked over to Umi and leaned down to give her a light hug. “Of course not. I think it’s sweet. I would love for you to come with me but it’s not really worth it for you, right? I don’t even know why Chika wants me there.” She drew back, gently kissing Umi’s lips. “You’d just be bored.”   
  
Umi huffed slightly. “You’ll call me every night, right?”   
  
“Every night?!” Nozomi laughed softly and gently ran her hand over Umi’s hair. “I’m only going for a day, Umi-chan. One day and one night and then I’ll come back. I promise. But yeah, I’ll call you tomorrow night. Video call if you want.”   
  
“Don’t forget.” Umi warned quietly, tightening her grip on Nozomi.   
  
Nozomi laughed and took Umi’s hand, tugging her to her feet. She drew her close and kissed her once more. “I’ll miss you too, Umi-chan. What do you say we make the most of tonight then?”   
  
Umi huffed slightly but she was quick to kiss Nozomi back, lightly pushing her back to the bed.    
  
\---   
  
“Come on, come on.” Yukiho planted her hands on Nico’s back and Raven’s, pushing them toward the ferris wheel. They had been waiting in the line for fifteen minutes and had finally managed to get to the front but Nico and Raven had hesitated when Yukiho had said she wouldn’t be joining them.    
  
“But…” Nico turned to Yukiho hesitantly.    
  
“No buts, give me those.” Yukiho took the two large stuffed animals from Nico’s arms as well as the bag she had hooked over her wrist. She had to admit that she’d gone a little overboard with Raven, both competing at practically every game in the park. “Go on. I’ll wait right here for you.”   
  
“Well I guess if it’s okay.” Nico looked at Raven who shrugged. “Alright, we won’t be long.”   
  
“Take your time.” Yukiho told them as she watched Nico lead Raven into one of the booths.    
  
“I didn’t realize she was so pushy.” Raven said with a laugh as they closed the door to the small booth. He looked to Nico who was sitting next to him. “So...did you have fun?”   
  
“Watching you with her? Yeah, it was fun.” Nico smiled at him. “I mean look at all of the bears I got.”   
  
Raven chuckled to himself as she leaned into his side. He tentatively lifted his arm, putting it around her shoulders. “I guess Yukiho-chan is right.” He said quietly as they ride began to move. “This is a pretty nice way to end the evening, huh?”   
  
“I think so.” Nico said with a firm nod of her head. Once again her glasses slid down her nose and Raven reached over to push them back into place with one finger. “I mean we haven’t had much time to be alone since we got to the park. Being with Yukiho was nice and I’m glad we finally got her to smile but you…” She was cut off as Raven leaned down and kissed her. It was fleeting, barely lasting a second before he drew back. “What was that for?”   
  
“I’m not sure.” Raven’s brow furrowed slightly. “These rides are meant to be romantic, right? Maybe that’s why. I was inspired.”   
  
“Idiot.” Nico muttered, blushing.    
  
Raven smiled and leaned back completely, resting his head against the seat behind him. “I’m still not really sure about...this arrangement that Hanayo came up with.” He admitted, figuring he should be honest. “It’s a little...I don’t know. You’ll let me know if I accidentally do anything to make you feel uncomfortable, right?”   
  
“Of course I will. Do I seem like the kind of person who’d keep that to myself?” Nico asked jokingly. “Kissing is fine.”   
  
“And looking apparently.” Raven smirked, raising an eyebrow. “I um...kind of noticed you staring at me in the kitchen. You know, last night.”   
  
Nico felt her face warm up. “W-Well you know, I was just surprised you have abs, that’s all.”   
  
“So you like that?”   
  
“W-Well I can’t wait to see your in your swim trunks so yeah, I do.” Nico answered somewhat bluntly, drawing a slightly embarrassed laugh from Raven.    
  
“Um...likewise then. You know, I’ve seen your photos from Hanayo’s magazine. You’re um...yeah.”   
  
Nico laughed at his awkwardness. “I was flat as a board in high school, compared to the rest of Muse. Hell even Maki was curvier than me.”   
  
“That changed though obviously.” Raven said, locking eyes with her. “Not that I would have minded though, I mean when I met you I didn’t have much interest in you. You were an ass to Maki and you seemed kind of….well hostile. So I didn’t really notice that you were attractive.”   
  
“Gee, thanks.” Nico said dryly, rolling her eyes.    
  
“I’m just saying!” Raven exclaimed defensively. “It was only when I got to know the real you that I started liking you.”   
  
“I had a lot of issues after Honoka died…”   
  
“I didn’t mean…” Raven winced, realizing he’d brought up a sore subject. “Sorry.”   
  
Nico shrugged. “I do care about her. About all of them. And I do miss her, I’m just not good at showing it so most of my friends think I just don’t care anymore. I hate that.” She felt a squeeze to her hand and realized Raven was holding it again. “You know before Honoka I was a loner. Kind of like Maki but worse. Honoke changed me. She made me confront my dad’s death and my dream to be an idol. I’ve never cried as hard as I did after her funeral. My siblings even had to hug me when they saw me in tears. And then my mom lost her job and...I felt hopeless for a while. Then Rin and Hanayo pushed me into modelling. Kei found me one day at a cafe and thought I had the perfect face for the modelling agency she worked at. She gave me her card and the rest is history.”   
  
Raven nodded in response to what Nico had said but he wasn’t sure how to respond. He was touched that she’d decided to tell him all of that. His breath caught in his throat as Nico lightly rested her head against his chest.    
  
“I still remember her words to me…” Nico murmured throughtfully. “‘Nico-chan, never stop smiling. Go and spread your smiles to all of those who follow their dreams’. I feel like I kind of failed both of them. I stopped trying to be a real idol after she died…” Realizing her eyes were growing teary she quickly scrubbed at them with the back of her hand. “That was too much information, right? I’ve only known you for a couple of weeks and I’m telling you all of this. I haven’t even told Hanayo, I don’t…”   
  
“It’s okay.” Raven interrupted, grasping her other hand with the hand already holding onto hers. “You can tell me anything you want. You can trust me, I swear.”   
  
“I know.” Nico bit her lip.    
  
“And about before...I wasn’t trying to say I don’t like you the way you are. I do. My point was I like you mainly for your personality. Now that I know you better. You’re sweet and caring. Selfless...way too selfless in my opinion.” Raven said honestly. “And you’re a real fighter. Even more than Hanayo sometimes. Don’t ever stop.”   
  
Nico blinked back more tears and gave a soft laugh. “You’re in real danger of me kissing you again, you know.” She teased, mainly to distract herself from the way she felt.    
  
Raven gave a small smile at that. “I was waiting to really kiss you if I’m honest…” He glanced out of the window, realizing they were at the top. “So if you want to....”   
  
He didn’t have time to finish his sentence before Nico had turned to him, cupping his face in her hands and kissed him. He wrapped his arm firmly around her waist and turned slightly in his seat so that they were in a more comfortable position and she didn’t have to turn her own body so much. He felt her fingers sneak into his hair again and smirked against her lips. She had a habit of doing that, it seemed.    
  
“What?” Nico mumbled, feeling the movement against her lips.    
  
“Nothing.” Raven whispered back. “Your hands just always end up in my hair, that’s all.”   
  
“Well I like it, it’s soft.” Nico gave a gentle tug at it to emphasise it. “Now shut up and keep kissing me.” She tugged him back to her, kissing him again, deeper this time and slid over, moving into his lap.    
  
She felt him let out a shocked ‘mmph’ against her lips and then his hands left her. Feeling his lips leave hers too as he turned his face away, her brow furrowed in confusion. Drawing back, she noticing his hands up at his sides, almost in a sign of surrender. “Um...what’s wrong?”   
  
“N-Nothing, just...you’re kind of on top of me.” Raven’s voice was a little higher than usual, his cheeks a burning red. “Sorry, I’m just...I was thinking maybe we’d just be kissing o-or well…”   
  
“We were just kissing.” Nico said in confusion, noticing her wasn’t looking at her.    
  
“But you’re on  _ top _ of me.” Raven replied with a shake of his head. “C-Can you please um…” He winced to himself. He didn’t want to tell her to get off or move because he didn’t want to sound like her was rejecting her. “It’s just...I don’t know if this would be okay with Hanayo. I mean this is her…”   
  
“If you say harem, I swear…”   
  
“This is her  _ arrangement _ .” Raven finally looked at Nico. “And I don’t want to overstep any boundaries. This is meant to be about my relationship with her and your relationship with her and...who are you even texting right now? I was talking to you, Nico...”   
  
“Yeah, I was listening. Hanayo, boundaries, relationshi-” She was cut off by a ding from her phone. “Ha! See?”   
  
Raven flinched slightly as the phone was thrust into his face. “Um…” He blinked a couple of times to focus and noticed it was a text thread between Nico and Hanayo. “Um…’ _ Is it okay if I make out with Raven on his lap?’”  _ He grimaced at the bluntness but carried on, reading Hanayo’s message. “ _ Yes. Send pics... _ ugh, of course she would say that.”   
  
Nico slid her phone back into her pocket. “So we can, right? I promise we’ll all have a discussion about boundaries tomorrow. Look if it’s really uncomfortable for you I’ll get off. It’s kind of cute how devoted you are to Hanayo.”   
  
“Well I love her.” Raven said with a sheepish shrug.    
  
“So do I.”   
  
“I know, just...you really don’t think it’s weird for us to do this?” Raven asked hesitantly. “It doesn’t feel odd to you?”   
  
Nico shook her head. “Should it? I mean physically, yes. You’re a guy and it’s...well you have guy parts. I’m not gay but I’m totally not straight. Pansexual I think the west calls it...I’m attracted to personality. But I just let my instincts take control physically. If you haven’t noticed, I’m kind of insatiable. Sorry.”   
  
“R-Right. Instincts.” Raven bit the inside of his cheek, wondering if he was even capable of doing that. He tended to overthink things a lot. Hesitantly he reached out, lightly placing his hands on her waist. “We still need to talk to Hanayo though.”   
  
“One more kiss before the ride moves again then?” Nico asked hopefully as she leaned in to him. He gave a short nod and she kissed him, her hands threading into his hair again as she pressed her tongue past his lips. She felt him shiver slightly and gripped his hair tighter as he kissed her back. His grip on her hips was tighter too , she noticed vaguely though she was too distracted by the kiss to draw back. Feeling herself growing a bit lightheaded she felt him pull back but she was surprised when he gripped the collar of her jacket instead of moving away. He moved the collar and she felt his lips move to her neck, kissing and sucking lightly.    
  
Feeling teeth scrape against her skin and then sink in, she let out a surprised moan. That was enough to cause him to quickly draw back.    
  
“Oh, we’re almost at the bottom!” Raven lifted Nico with surprising strength and nudged her back onto the seat next to him. “So um...talk with Hanayo. Tomorrow. Yeah.”   
  
Nico held her neck, blushing. “Y-Yeah, uh...yeah...um…”   
  
Raven glanced at her. “Did I break you?”   
  
“S-Shut up!” Nico retorted. “Just...you’re so not predictable, that’s all. Let’s get off, we have to find Yukiho-chan.”   
  
“Right. You might want to fix your jacket first. And your glasses.” Raven said with a guilty look. He quickly got off the ferris wheel, turning to help Nico down.    
  
Yukiho let out a low whistle at the sight of them. “What happened to you two?”   
  
“Shut up!”   
  
Yukiho laughed at their retort. The fact that both of them were blushing profusely only made it funnier.    
  
\-----

 

_ Eli stared down at the street from Honoka’s window, her stare unfocused. Now that she knew there was so little time left she couldn’t help but worry about it and think about what she was going to miss out on with Honoka.  _ _   
_ _   
_ _ She’d heard Nozomi talking to Umi about what she was going to do after she graduated earlier that day and she’d felt a burning jealousy form in her stomach. Those two were allowed to make plans like that, as a couple, because they didn’t have to deal with the fact that one of them wouldn’t make it past graduation. It irritated her if she was honest.  _ _   
_ _   
_ _ She gasped softly, feeling arms go around her waist from behind. Turning ever so slightly, she caught a glimpse of her girlfriend and relaxed immediately.  _ _   
_ _   
_ _ “What are you thinking about?” Honoka asked, pressing a light kiss to Eli’s shoulder.  _ _   
_ _   
_ _ “Just...stuff.” Eli answered vaguely. “You know, graduation, the future...that kind of thing.” _ _   
_ _   
_ _ “What about it?” Honoka murmured, tightening her grip on Eli.  _ _   
_ _   
_ _ “You know what.” Eli whispered. She turned around in Honoka’s arms to look at her but let the girl lean against her. Honoka was still unsteady on her feet, she knew. “I love you so much, Honoka. I wanted…” Her voice cracked and she cleared her throat. “I wanted my future to be with you. Hell, I wanted to marry you one day.” _ _   
_ _   
_ _ “So ask me.” Honoka said with a slight smile. “And we’ll run away and get married.” _ _   
_ _   
_ _ “You know we can’t…” Downtrodden, Eli lowered her eyes. “Or I would.” _ _   
_ _   
_ _ “I know, I know.” Honoka took both of Eli’s hands in her own, squeezing them tightly. “But we can at least pretend, right? Come on, ask me. If you still want to.” _ _   
_ _   
_ _ Eli took a shuddering breath. “Kousa...wait, I don’t have a ring or anything.” _ _   
_ _   
_ _ “It doesn’t matter.” Honoka smiled. She leaned up and kissed the corner of Eli’s lips. “Just ask me.” _ _   
_ _   
_ _ “Kousaka Honoka…” Eli paused for a moment, taking in the way Honoka’s eyes sparkled as she looked up at her. “Will you marry me?” _ _   
_ _   
_ _ “Yes.” Honoka answered without hesitation. “I would marry you right here and now if I could. Actually…” She turned away from Eli and walked away with surprising ease, grabbing her sheet from the bed. She slid it over her head and clutched it in front of her, turning back to the blonde. “See? A veil!” _ _   
_ _   
_ _ Eli smiled at the gesture and took a few steps forward, coming to a stop in front of her girlfriend. “Ah, I didn’t really write any vows or anything…” _ _   
_ _   
_ _ Honoka chuckled at that. “You don’t need any. I know how you feel about me. And you know how I feel about you, don’t you? We...feel the same way.” _ _   
_ _   
_ _ “You do?” Eli took Honoka’s hand and dragged it up, pressing it to her chest. She could feel the warmth of Honoka’s hand through her shirt.  _ _   
_ _   
_ _ Honoka nodded. “If I could I would marry you right after I graduate. If I graduate.” _ _   
_ _   
_ _ “Shh.” Eli pressed her finger lightly to Honoka’s lips. “Let’s have our wedding. Here and now, right?” _ _   
_ _   
_ _ “Right.” Honoka said, nodding her head. “I-I didn’t prepare any vows either but um...well here goes. I love you more than anyone, Eli-senpai. I didn’t think I could ever feel like this about anyone until you. No matter what happens, I’m glad I got to be with you. I could never be with anyone else after being with you. I would never want anyone else, you’re...my soulmate. The one I was meant to be with.” _   
  
Eli pressed her hand to her mouth, tears spilling freely down her cheeks as she stared at Arisa. She felt the same way as Honoka. She couldn’t be with anyone else after experiencing being with Honoka.    
  
She didn’t have any choice but to reject Yukiho but at least now she had some idea as to how to do it. She just had to be honest with the girl.    
  
\------

 

Nico was surprised when she stepped into the apartment to find Hanayo sitting at the table with Yukiho, the younger girl’s textbooks laid out in front of them. They were sitting close together, Hanayo writing something down as Yukiho looked on in intrigue.    
  
“Hey.” Nico kissed Hanayo’s cheek and ruffled Yukiho’s hair but got little response from either of them.    
  
“Don’t bother, they’re in their own little world over there.”    
  
Nico looked up at the sound of the amused voice and found Raven leaning against the doorway to the kitchen. She wandered over to him, kissing his cheek too. “They’re...studying?”   
  
“Mmhm.” Raven answered happily, relieved that they seemed to be more relaxed around each other now. “I decided just to leave them to it. They seem to be fine together.”   
  
“We can hear you, you know.” Yukiho remarked without looking up from her homework.    
  
“Sorry!” Raven exclaimed quickly. “We’ll be quiet.”   
  
“Speak for yourself.” Nico said with a roll of her eyes. “I’m gonna make dinner. Yukiho, do you want anything in particular?”   
  
“Um...yakizake?” Yukiho asked hopefully, looking up from her homework.    
  
“Sure.” Nico smiled at the teenager and grabbed Raven’s hand. “Come on, good cop. You have to help.”   
  
“What can I do?” Raven asked, a little at a loss.    
  
“You can cut the vegetables.” Nico told him with a firm nod of her head. “I’ll take care of cooking them, don’t worry.”   
  
She left him to do that while she got the salmon out of the fridge to season it. The two worked in companionable silence for a few minutes until another voice joined them.    
  
“Next week we’re going on dates again, right?” Hanayo asked as she wandered into the kitchen. “And the big one!”   
  
Nico elbowed Raven in the side. “Now’s a good time to ask, good cop.”   
  
“R-Right.” Raven turned to Hanayo, drying his hands on his shirt. “Um, I’ve been meaning to talk to you about something actually, Han.”   
  
Hanayo paused, a curious look on her face. “Sounds serious. What is it?”   
  
“Um, ahh…” Raven shifted awkwardly, not entirely sure how to word what he wanted to say. “Well…”   
  
“How far can we go?” Nico asked bluntly, causing Raven’s eyes to widen in alarm.    
  
“NICO!”   
  
“What?” Nico rolled her eyes at him and turned her attention back to Hanayo. “Boundaries. What are the boundaries?”   
  
Hanayo blinked at them in surprise before shrugging. “You can go to sex, I guess.”   
  
“What?!” Even Nico looked stunned by that, her face turning bright red.    
  
“I want us all to be equal.” Hanayo explained simply. “All of us. I can have sex with both of you so it’s only fair for you two to be able to have sex with each other. Though that’s gonna be pretty cute since you’re both inexperienced…”   
  
“Wait, Hanayo guides you like she does me?” Nico asked, turning to Raven who looked just as embarrassed, if not moreso.    
  
“Just a warning , Raven.” Hanayo piped up in amusement. “Nico is insatiable so you have to satisfy her. That means you have to be rough.”   
  
“W-What?”   
  
As embarrassed as she was Nico had to laugh at the shade of red Raven’s face suddenly was.    
  
“Just let your instincts take over.” Hanayo advised. “Like the time you…” She trailed off for a moment, focusing on the mark on Nico’s neck. “Like that I guess. Whoa, you actually bit her. You usually keep yourself from doing that…”   
  
Nico quickly covered her neck.    
  
“Still.” Hanayo shrugged. “Most of those marks are mine. You better bite me in bed next time though. You must have been turned on all night, Nico-chan. No wonder you were in the bathroom so long...”   
  
“It was his fault!” Nico exclaimed.    
  
“H-Hey!” Raven retorted defensively.    
  
Hanayo smirked as she glanced between them. “Nico-chan usually needs five rounds before she calms down.”   
  
“Hanayo!”   
  
Hanayo turned and walked back toward the doorway. “Gotta get back to tutoring. You two can...do whatever.”   
  
“W-WE’RE COOKING!” Raven called after her. He groaned as she waved him off. “Ugh, this is so embarrassing…” He covered his burning face with his hands, trying to push through his embarrassment.    
  
“Yeah…” Nico bit her lip, looking back to the salmon she’d been cooking.    
  
“S-So you were...in the bathroom and…”   
  
Nico nodded. “Do you want to know what I was doing?”   
  
“I know what you were doing!” Raven said quickly, not wanting her to say it outright.    
  
“I was thinking about both of you if it makes you feel better.” Nico said. Judging by the embarrassed look on his face, it didn’t. “So you didn’t…?”   
  
“I-I didn’t say that. I mean of course, I-I was…” Raven swallowed thickly. The situation felt far too awkward. “Crap, um...I have to go and pick up some um...beer from the store. Yeah.”   
  
“You don’t drink.” Nico pointed out skeptically.    
  
“Heh, I meant carrots. For dinner. I won’t be long!” Raven quickly avoided eye contact and hurried to the door.    
  
Nico’s eyes raked over him on his way out. “Take your time!”   
  
“It’s not like that!” Raven called back loudly. “God, you two really are made for each other…”   
  
“Come on, I’m just teasing you.” Nico laughed as she watched him leave. A moment later he stuck his head around the door.    
  
“Not when Yukiho-chan is in the house!”

 

Nico laughed loudly. “So you really do think I’m hot, huh?”   
  
“ _ Nico!” _ Raven glared at her once more before he turned and fled.    
  
Nico turned back to dinner and took a deep breath. “Okay, focus. Continue making dinner, definitely not daydreaming...damn it, Hanayo.”   
  
\-----   
  
Nozomi sighed as she walked up the long flight of stone stairs next to Chika. Kanan and You were behind them, talking quietly. Probably about what they would do if she lost her temper. She had caught them sneaking the occasional suspicious glance at her.    
  
“Are you ever going to tell me where we’re going?”    
  
“Just be patient.” Chika said with a small smile, glancing over at Nozomi. “It’s not far.”   
  
Nozomi sighed. “You know I left my girlfriend to come here. I could be with her right now. Hell, I could be getting lai-”   
  
“Whoa, don’t need to hear that!” Kanan interrupted loudly from behind them. “Although maybe you could give You some tips on being a power bottom?”   
  
“KANAN-CHAN!” You exclaimed loudly, her face turning red with embarrassment.   
  
“Kanan-chan.” Chika warned before she focused on Nozomi. “I found  this book at the library. The author talked to a real priestess. And...well here.”    
  
Nozomi took the book handed to her just as they reached the top of the stairs. Turning it over, she dropped it immediately. “Kaede obaa-chan…”   
  
_ “Kaede obaa-chan.” Six year old Nozomi wept, wiping her eyes with her fists. “People think I’m weird.” _ _   
_ _   
_ _ The woman she was staring up at smile patiently. “That’s because you’re special.” _ _   
_ _   
_ _ “I hear voices in my head, obaa-chan. That’s why I usually read indoors during recess.” _ _   
_ _   
_ “ _ You’re special, my little tanuki-chan. You’re connected to the spirits, just like me. Why do you think you’re so lucky? The gods protect you and bring you good fortune. So don’t ever think you’re weird okay, little one?” _ _   
_ _   
_ _ “I hate moving.” Nozomi sniffled, blinking back her tears. “I wish I could stay with you in Tokyo!” _ _   
_ _   
_ _ “I know.” The woman rested her hand lightly on Nozomi’s shoulder, soothing her with the touch. After a moment she pulled out a red bracelet which was wrapped around her wrist and reached down, carefully tying it around Nozomi’s. “You see this here? This will always connect you to the spirit world and the human realm. It will always keep you anchored, okay? Do you hear any voices.” _ _   
_ _   
_ _ Nozomi shook her head.  _ _   
_ _   
_ _ “Now come, let’s sweep up the shrine and I’ll teach your more about the stars and meditation.” _

 

“Nozomi-chan?” Nozomi flinched as someone touched her shoulder. Focusing, she realized it was Chika. But the girl looked blurry. “You’re...you’re crying.”   
  
Nozomi reached up and brushed her tears away. She hadn’t realized. “I lost connection and my bond with Honoka-chan and obaa-chan…”   
  
“Wait, does Honoka-chan wear a red bracelet around her wrist?”   
  
“Yeah, I gave her a…” Nozomi’s eyes widened suddenly. “I gave her one. Oh my god, how could I forget about that?! I need to find mine! Maybe I unconsciously packed it.”   
  
“That’s the connection.” Kanan said, her eyes wide.    
  
Chika smiled softly and nodded her head. “That’s the key to connect to Honoka-chan. The spirit world.”   
  
“I’m a little confused.” You confessed sheepishly. “For this to work don’t you need everyone here anyway? And not tense?”   
  
“Not here, at her grave.” Nozomi said grimly.    
  
You shuddered. “I was hoping it would be more like you have to go somewhere important to her. You know, somewhere like the school roof or I don’t know, where she first met Eli-san. Anywhere but her grave really. But I guess…”   
  
“It’ll be quiet. Less people around.” Nozomi said thoughtfully, looking down at the book in Chika’s arms. She reached out, tentatively taking it from her. “You’ll be there on Saturday, right?”   
  
“Of course. Whenever you want me to be there.” Chika said sincerely. “Do you think this is going to work, Nozomi-chan?”   
  
“I hope so.” Nozomi said quietly. She wasn’t sure what else would work but at least they had a solid plan now.    
  
TBC   



	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter of ANITW, I hope you guys enjoy!
> 
> Warning(s): Violence, sexual scenes, angst, SELF-INJURY, swearing and…hetero romance?
> 
> Leading off of that, just a note to mention that there are some het scenes in here (not sex, NEVER sex) but like intense making out etc so if you want to skip those, that’s fine. Just skip the Hanayo scenes and the Nico scenes. 
> 
> Again, skip the Hanayo scenes and Nico scenes if you want to skip the het stuff.

Kotori glanced around the restaurant she was waiting in, admiring the low lighting. The interior of the restaurant was wood lined, giving it a warm feel. With few diners present, it was peaceful. More peaceful than Kotori herself felt waiting for Maki. She looked down at the glass of water in her hand. When she’d gotten to the restaurant around twenty minutes ago she had instinctively ordered a glass of wine.    
  
She hadn’t even thought about it until the server had come back with the glass of wine. She’d ordered a glass of water instead but left the glass of wine untouched at the opposite side of the table. She wondered what Maki was doing. The redhead was around five minutes late, Kotori supposed without checking her watch. She knew Maki was busy.    
  
She leaned back in her seat, glancing at the other people in the restaurant. It was fairly empty. A couple of couples here and there and a group of three women, all of whom had glanced at her at some point, whispering between themselves. Kotori supposed they must be assuming she’d been stood up by a date.   
  
“Oh my god, I’m so sorry I’m late!” Kotori flinched slightly at the sudden flurry of movement next to her. She looked up in time to see Maki reach the table, clearly out of breath. “I didn’t think it would take so long.”   
  
Kotori smiled stiffly. “Um...it’s okay. It’s not your fault.”   
  
Maki moved around to the other side of the table, ignoring the urge to kiss her girlfriend. “Shitty meeting was a pain…”   
  
“Your father is getting desperate.”   
  
“He’s getting old.” Maki sighed heavily.    
  
Kotori looked down at Maki’s hand on top of hers. She could hear those women whispering again. “People are staring.”   
  
“I don’t give a damn. It’s 2016 already, Japan needs to get with the rest of the world and pass equal marriage. Even the USA is…” Maki gripped Kotori’s hand in her own. Noticing the glass of wine next to her she chose not to say anything. Kotori obviously hadn’t drank it. She decided not to herself either, aware that it wouldn’t help Kotori to be able to smell it on her or taste it on her breath. “He wants a grandchild so badly he might even force me unless I come out. My mother spoke to me about finding a guy to. They’re getting to that age...We’re fucking kids. I’m eighteen and you’re nineteen. Give us until we reach our damn 30s before we have to think about that. Ugh, I hate kids. Nico’s siblings were so annoying.”   
  
“Oh stop, you’re just saying that but you obviously adored them.”   
  
“Shut up, I don’t.”   
  
Kotori managed a small smile. “You’re the one who wants kids with me, remember?”   
  
“I...damn you.” Maki visibly deflated. “I still need to get you a real ring first.”   
  
“It’s fine.” Kotori said softly. She glanced briefly over at the women staring at them. Clearing her throat she turned back to Maki only to look away again. “Okaa-san spoke to me about a guy she wants me to meet. I hate hiding from her.”   
  
Maki nodded. “I hate it too.”   
  
“I can’t do this anymore.”   
  
“W-What? Wait…” Maki felt her heart clench in fear and she grasped at Kotori’s hand as her girlfriend stood up from the table.    
  
Kotori didn’t go far though. She merely stepped a little closer to Maki and the other table. “For the record, I wasn’t stood up.” She growled at the three women. She turned to Maki and leaned down, grabbing her collar. She pulled her in and kissed her in front of the women and the straight couples that surrounded them. Slowly, she drew back. “I was waiting for my girlfriend to get here after a meeting.”   
  
The three women gaped at her in surprise and Kotori went back to her seat, satisfied. She sat down, noticing the shock on Maki’s face. “I’m coming out to my mom. I want her to know the truth, I-I feel like I’m ready.”   
  
Maki nervously bit her lip.    
  
“Don’t worry, I won’t tell her we’re together.” Kotori said, reaching for Maki’s hand. She grasped it tightly. “Just that I’m dating a woman...who I’m completely in love with. And that’s not going to change.”   
  
Maki clenched her teeth. The women were back to gossiping again though this time she could hear the word lesbian every now and again. She looked down at the table. “I wish I could be more like you, sometimes.”   
  
“You’re Maki-chan.” Kotori said with a small smile. She gently touched Maki’s hand. “That’s more than good enough. Do you want to go, Maki-chan? We don’t have to do this every time, you know.”   
  
“What?”   
  
“Every time you go to these marriage meetings you take me out afterwards to apologize.” Kotori said, getting to her feet. She reached for Maki’s hand. “You don’t need to. Come on, let’s just go home.”   
  
Maki smiled softly and took Kotori’s hand.    
  
\-----   
  
Nico suppressed a yawn with her hand as she walked out of the walk in closet, having finished getting dressed for work. She paused, noticing Hanayo was awake and staring down at her phone. Raven sat up next to her, his lips pressed to the girl’s neck as he stared sleepily over her shoulder at the phone.    
  
“Are you two ever gonna get up?” Nico said with a roll of her eyes. “Don’t you have places to be?”   
  
“Night shift last night.” Raven answered simply, glancing up at her. “And I’m working Sunday.”   
  
“We’ll get up in a minute. It’s a wonder he’s awake at all. Usually he likes to spend the morning in bed if he’s working the night.” Hanayo said with a smirk.    
  
“Hey, I’m driving later.”   
  
“Any excuse.”   
  
Raven growled and threw the covers over them, lunging playfully at Hanayo.    
  
Hanayo shrieked with laughter as he tickled her sides. “Stop! I’m sorry, stop!”   
  
Raven stopped, only briefly but it was enough to give Hanayo time to push him onto his back. Her hair messy, she moved to straddle him and the sheets pooled at their hips.    
  
“Ha! I win!” Hanayo exclaimed smugly, blowing hair from her face.    
  
Nico stared at them, her face growing red. “I...fuck, I need to take another bath. Fuck you both. Especially you, Hanayo. Agh, it’s a good thing I’m not at work for another couple of hours.”   
  
“Can you not curse?!” Yukiho called from the kitchen. “I’m getting ready for school!”   
  
“Shut it, Yukiho!” Nico retorted loudly. “Hanayo, you so owe me later…”   
  
“Sorry, Nico-chan. I’m busy later. And my arm is kind of hurting.” Hanayo said, trying to conceal a smile. “Besides it’s pretty hot to see you all...hot and bothered. Both of you.”   
  
“Well you’re on top of me.” Raven said through gritted teeth. “And would you please stay still? Nico is standing right there.”   
  
“She’s cute when she’s frustrated.” Hanayo responded breathily as she stared down at her boyfriend’s flushed face. “Besides, she doesn’t seem to mind the show.” She moved off Raven suddenly, leaving him to tug the blankets over himself. “Yukiho, I’ll take you to school!”   
  
“Right!” Yukiho called back.   
  
Hanayo disappeared into the closet for a few minutes before she emerged again, finding Nico and Raven looking anywhere but at each other. “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.” She said before she left the room.    
  
A few minutes later the door to the apartment opened and then clicked shut.    
  
Raven cleared his throat. “I guess this means we’re alone, huh? N-Not that I expect anything to happen, I was just uh...do you want me to drive you to work?”   
  
“Yeah, just..let me take another bath first.” Nico said awkwardly.    
  
“Oh.” Raven’s eyes widened in surprise. “You were serious about that.”   
  
“I’m dead serious, good cop.” Nico met his eyes intently. “I’m burning up in these damn clothes.”   
  
“Do you um…” Raven blushed furiously. “Can I do anything to...help?”    
  
Nico hesitated for a moment before she walked over to the bed. “You have clothes on, right?”   
  
“Of course. You should know, you slept on Hanayo’s other side.” Raven said with a roll of his eyes. His eyes widened as the covers were suddenly pulled back. “Ah, cold, cold, cold…”   
  
“Don’t be a baby.” Nico tentatively moved toward him and climbed onto the bed, straddling his hips. She was taken by surprise when he sat up suddenly, his arm going around her waist to keep her steady. “If you plan to push me off I should mention that you offered to help.”   
  
Raven answered her by kissing her deeply, his hand going to the back of her neck to draw her closer. He felt her whimper against his lips and shuddered in response. It was definitely a sound he could get used to.   
  
Nico drew away, tugging her blouse off along with her bra. “Now unlike Hanayo, you can do whatever you want to me. Let your instincts take control, okay? Hanayo actually wasn’t joking when she said I like it rough.”   
  
“Instincts, right…” Raven swallowed thickly. He was beyond nervous but he supposed he could do as she said. Taking a deep breath, he kissed her again and reached up to her chest, feeling her grind down against him.    
  
\-----   
  
“So you totally did it, huh?”   
  
Raven groaned in response as he adjusted the phone. “You know you’re meant to say hello back first.” He glanced over at Nico who was sleeping soundly in the bed, hugging a pillow to her chest. “But yes, we did it.”   
  
“Yes!” Hanayo exclaimed loudly. “How many rounds?”   
  
“Hanayo.” Raven sighed and adjusted the phone so it was pressed between his shoulder and his ear as he reached down to tug his jeans on. “No, okay? It already feels weird enough without me having to tell you the details.”   
  
“Fine, fine.” Hanayo sounded disappointed but agreed. “Maybe someday though, right? I want us all to be comfortable.”   
  
Raven sighed heavily. “Let’s just say we did it multiple times and I think I did good.”   
  
“Nice!” Hanayo exclaimed cheerfully. “With how this is progressing we could have a threesom-”   
  
“Hanayo, give us time!”   
  
“Date.” Hanayo finished in amusement. “A threesome date. Get your mind out of the gutter.”   
  
“Ah, I hate you. You did that on purpose.”   
  
“You love me.” Hanayo laughed in disagreement.    
  
“Yeah, well…you’re still a perv.” Raven huffed in response.    
  
“I am not! But...how cute did Nico-chan look when you topped her? Tell me and I’ll shut up.”   
  
“No way.” Raven answered adamantly. “If you want answers you’ll have to get them from Nico. I’m not talking about this anymore. I’m gonna wake Nico up for work. I’ll talk to you later, Han.”   
  
“But Nico-chan has different cute looks when sh-”   
  
Raven ended the call and slipped the phone into his pocket. He rubbed his temples in exasperation. “How did this get so complicated?” He muttered to himself as he walked over to Nico. He sat down next to her, placing his hand on her bare shoulder to gentle shake her awake. “Nico? You have to get up for work.”   
  
“Mmm, in a…” Nico bolted upright suddenly, clutching her blankets to her chest. “Shit, am I late?”   
  
“Don’t worry.” Raven brushed her hair back from her face. “I’m gonna drive you. You have fifteen minutes to get ready if you want to make it on time.”   
  
Nico leaned into his hand, closing her eyes in relief. “Will you make me some coffee? I didn’t have time this morning.”    
  
“I’ll make it to go.” Raven promised with a small smile.    
  
“Thanks.”   
  
“I’ll wait for you in the other room.” Raven gently pecked her lips and stood up. “Oh and Hanayo’s probably going to have questions for you. About this. She called earlier and I’m terrible at lying so…”   
  
Nico snorted in amusement as she watched him walk toward the door. “I’m surprised you managed to get away.”   
  
“I hung up.” Raven glanced back at her with a smirk before he left, heading into the kitchen to make Nico’s coffee.    
  
\-----   
  
Nozomi unlocked the door to Kotori’s apartment, using the spare key the two kept outside. She had caught the earliest train she could, having barely been able to sleep the previous night. She’d caught thirty minutes to an hour here and there but without Umi next to her it had been impossible for her to sleep properly.    
  
She set her bag down next to the door as she closed it and glanced around the dimly lit apartment. It seemed like everyone in the house was still sleeping. It made sense, she supposed. Even if Maki had left early she would have left Kotori to continue to sleep.    
  
She walked quietly through the apartment to the door to Kotori’s spare room. She pushed it open, expecting to see Umi sleeping but instead found her girlfriend sitting up, using her phone. “Shouldn’t you be asleep?”   
  
Umi looked up sharply at the sound of Nozomi’s voice. Her eyes widened and she scrambled out of bed, tossing her phone carelessly to the side. “Why the hell didn’t you call me?! I’ve been trying to call you since five this morning!”   
  
“Ah, I was on the train then and my battery…” Nozomi gasped as Umi surged forward and hugged her tightly. She heard Umi sniffle into her shoulder and hugged her back tightly. “I didn’t mean to worry you.”   
  
“Well you did.” Umi said, her voice tinged with worry. She pulled back to look into Nozomi’s eyes, her hands moving to the girl’s cheeks. “Are you okay? When we talked last night you sounded upset.”   
  
“Just...thinking about the past.” Nozomi smiled softly and leaned in to give Umi a quick kiss. “Chika-chan helped me figure out how I can communicate with Honoka-chan. She made me remember some things.”   
  
“What things?” Umi asked softly, her hands returning to Nozomi’s shoulders. She didn’t want to let go of her just yet.    
  
“Like Honoka-chan…”   
  
_ “What’s this for?” Honoka asked in amusement as Nozomi handed her a small box. “It’s not my birthday, is it?” _ _   
_ _   
_ _ “It’s not really just for you, it’s...for both of us.” Nozomi said, glancing over her shoulder toward the door. When she’d gotten to Honoka’s bedroom Eli had been there but she had excused herself when Nozomi had said that she needed to speak to Honoka.  _ _   
_ _   
_ _ She turned back to Honoka and waited until she opened the box before she tugged her own shirt sleeve up to show the woven red bracelet on her wrist. “See? I have one too.” _ _   
_ _   
_ _ “What are they for?” Honoka asked, taking hers out of the box. “Friendship bracelets?” _ _   
_ _   
_ _ Nozomi gave a light laugh at that. “I guess you could say that if you want. But they’re meant to be a connection between the spirit world and the living world. So a connection between you and me.” _ _   
_ _   
_ _ Honoka glanced up at Nozomi. “So you’re saying that after this is over, I might still be able to see you? Speak to you?” _ _   
_ _   
_ _ “Hopefully.” _ _   
_ _   
_ _ “Put it on.” Honoka thrust her wrist toward Nozomi, the bracelet held in her hand. “Please.” _ _   
_ _   
_ _ Nozomi’s heart lurched at Honoka’s enthusiasm for the idea. She took the bracelet and carefully tied it to Honoka’s wrist. “I can’t be one hundred percent sure it’ll work.” _ _   
_ _   
_ _ “You’ll try though, right?” Honoka asked hopefully. “I want to still be able to talk to Nozomi-chan.” _ _   
_ _   
_ _ Nozomi bit her lip, her hand stilling on Honoka’s wrist. The bracelet was tied, securely. “I want to be able to talk to you too.” She whispered. Feeling her eyes prickle with tears she leaned in and hugged Honoka as tightly as she could. “I’ll do my best.” _ _   
_ _   
_ _ “I trust you.” Honoka said sincerely, hugging Nozomi back.  _ _   
_ _   
_ “I-I didn’t know. I didn’t even notice she had the bracelet.” Umi said, thinking back to that. She couldn’t remember ever seeing it on Honoka’s wrist. “So I guess it didn’t work.”   
  
Nozomi shook her head. “I tried for weeks after Honoka’s death, to contact her...but it wouldn’t work. I’m sure it’s because of how angry and upset I was and when it didn’t work I just got angrier and more frustrated. I had failed her again…”   
  
Umi gently rubbed Nozomi’s back. “But now is different?”   
  
Nozomi nodded. “I feel like I’m more at peace with what happened now. I’m happier than I was. We just need to make sure the others feel the same way and then we should be able to…”   
  
“Speak to her?” Umi asked hopefully. “You really think we can?”   
  
Nozomi hesitantly nodded her head. “I don’t want you to get your hopes up in case it doesn’t work but...I think I can do it. We should be able to speak to her through Chika-chan. I think.”   
  
“Right.” Umi tried not to look too hopeful but she couldn’t help but feel it. She wanted to talk to Honoka again more than anything else. “When can we do it.”   
  
“Saturday. Chika and the others are coming. We’ll have to tell everyone else. Eli’s not going to believe me though...” Nozomi cringed at the thought only to feel Umi squeeze her hand.    
  
“We’ll just have to convince her. Both of us.”   
  
\----

 

Yukiho unlocked the door to Kotori’s apartment and took a deep breath. If she was honest she was surprised Maki had even let her keep the key. She probably didn’t trust her around Kotori anymore. She hoped that they weren’t home.    
  
She pushed the door open and let herself inside. She had called ahead to let Eli know she’d be coming back for a while but she was still surprised to see the blonde sitting on the couch, waiting for her. Swallowing anxiously, she closed the door behind her and shuffled further into the room.    
  
Eli smiled at the sight of Yukiho. She was glad to see her but she was worried about the conversation they were about to have too. “Hey.” She said quietly as Yukiho slowly approached her. “Sit down, we need to talk.”   
  
“Yeah.” Yukiho let her bag slide off her arm and sat down on the couch next to Eli. She had come straight after school so she hadn’t had time to change. Raven and Nico had picked her up outside of the school gates but they had insisted on driving her straight to Kotori’s apartment.    
  
“So um... I have something to tell you.” Yukiho spoke, her voice trembling with nerves. She clenched her hands in her lap atop her skirt. “I don’t want to tell you b-but I feel like I have to.”   
  
Eli turned slightly to face Yukiho. “Go ahead.” She said patiently. She wanted to reach out and grasp Yukiho’s hand, pained by how lost and worried Yukiho looked but she couldn’t. She didn’t want to cause Yukiho any more pain than she already had. “I’m listening.”   
  
“I-I think I like you.” Yukiho said, her heart clenching in her chest. “I-I mean...I love you, of course. As...as my friend but I think I like you more than that too. L-Like in an I want to kiss you and...I-I want you to be my girlfriend kind of way, I guess? I’m so confused about all of this but I know that I have feelings for you.”   
  
“I’m sorry.” Eli said softly. She looked down at her lap too, unable to look at Yukiho. She didn’t want to see the hurt that would inevitably cross Yukiho’s face. “I love you a lot, Yukiho. You and Arisa are the most important people in my life now but I can’t return your feelings. I know I’m never going to love anyone the same way as I loved Honoka a-and I don’t want to lie to you by saying that I will or I could. I really don’t think that I can. You deserve better than any kind of relationship I could offer you right now.”   
  
“But I don’t want better.” Yukiho said meekly, her eyes water. She cursed under her breath. She had told herself she wouldn’t do this. That she would take Eli’s first answer and accept it but she couldn’t help but argue. “I just want you.”   
  
Eli sighed and reached over, wrapping her arms around Yukiho to draw her close. “I just can’t, I’m sorry. You’ll always be important to me but I can’t be anything but your friend. I’m sorry, Yukiho.”   
  
Yukiho whimpered, pressing her face into Eli’s chest for a long moment as she hugged the blonde back. She inhaled through her nose, catching the scent of the perfume Eli was wearing before she pulled back. “It’s not your fault.” She said, her voice cracking. She cleared her throat. “I’m going to stay with Hanayo-san, Raven-san and Nico-san for...a while.”   
  
Panic flashed across Eli’s face. “F-For how long? You’re coming back, right?”   
  
“I-I don’t know how long.” Yukiho said quietly, slowly getting to her feet. She felt Eli grasp at her hand and closed her eyes briefly. “Eli-san…please. I need this. I need to...to keep my distance for a while. I’ll come back to visit you and Arisa-chan, I promise.”   
  
Eli nodded and slowly loosened her grip on Yukiho’s hand. “Yukiho, I’m...I’m sorry if I hurt you. I should have known better.”   
  
Yukiho made a soft sound of disagreement and shook her head. “I’ll see you later, Eli-san.” She tugged her hand from Eli’s and turned, picking up her bag. She felt her composure crumble as she walked toward the door but managed to keep it together until she was outside. Until she was out of the apartment block even and walking toward the car. Her vision blurred with tears and she felt herself bump into someone. “Sorry, I...I’m sorry.”   
  
“Shhh. It’s just me.” Nico’s calming voice sounded as the person she’d bumped into grasped her arms.    
  
Yukiho felt herself being pulled forward by the hands on her arms and suddenly she was being hugged tightly. She returned the embrace readily, a choked sob escaping her as she clutched Nico as tightly as she could. “She...she said she can’t.”   
  
“I know.” Nico murmured, gently stroking Yukiho’s hair. “It’s going to be okay, Yukiho-chan.”   
  
Yukiho sniffled softly as she drew back from the embrace. “C-Can I stay with you for a while? Please?”   
  
“Um…” Nico hesitated, looking to Raven in the car. “Let me talk to Raven and Hanayo but you can stay for tonight at least.”   
  
Yukiho nodded shakily and wiped her tears. There would be plenty of time for crying later, when she wasn’t standing in the middle of the street. She followed Nico back to the car, numbly getting in the back.    
  
“Hey.” Raven met her eyes in the rearview mirror. “You okay?”

 

Yukiho shook her head as Nico got into the passenger seat.    
  
“You hungry?” Raven asked, turning slightly in his seat so he was looking at her properly. “I still owe you that dinner.”   
  
“Not tonight.” Yukiho answered hoarsely, lowering her teary eyes.    
  
“Um…” Raven bit his lip. He wasn’t sure how to help if he was honest. “Do you want to train? We could go to the gym if you want. I can teach you how to kickbox.”   
  
Yukiho thought about that for a moment before she shrugged. “Can we go back to your apartment to get changed first? I don’t want to get my uniform dirty. And then maybe we can go right after?”   
  
“Sure.” Raven said, relieved that she seemed to have accepted his idea.    
  
Nico shook her head though she couldn’t help but imagine him half naked, punching a bag. That was quickly followed by a mental image of Hanayo doing the same thing. “Um...I’m gonna cook you something special for when you get back. And Hanayo’s gonna bake you something.”   
  
Yukiho smiled weakly. “You don’t have to.”   
  
“Of course we do.” Nico said with a shake of her head. “You’re with us now and you’ve had a crappy day so we’re gonna make it better. Right?”   
  
“Right!” Raven nodded firmly in response. “You don’t have to worry about anything, Yukiho-chan.”   
  
Yukiho bit the inside of her cheek, feeling her eyes well up with tears again. She didn’t say anything and Raven seemed to take that as his cue to turn around and pull his car away from the curb.    
  
\-----   
  
“Leah-chan!” Ruby exclaimed as Leah’s face popped up on her phone. She was glad that her friend had accepted her facetime call. They had agreed to talk that night but she was a little late calling. “Are you packed for your trip?”   
  
“It’s only one night. And it’s four days away.” Leah answered with a shake of her head. She adjusted the camera so that Ruby couldn’t see the bag she’d packed. She narrowed her eyes. Ruby was lying on her back on a bed, that much was obvious, but she was still a bit confused. “Where are you? That doesn’t look like your bed…”   
  
“Oh, it’s…”   
  
“Oi, how do you know what Ruby-chan’s bed looks like?!”   
  
Leah noticed the camera shake and then movement to the left. Finally, You collapsed down next to Ruby. “Oh, it’s you…”   
  
“Watch it.” You said with a roll of her eyes. “This happens to be my bedroom, not Ruby-chan’s.”   
  
Leah blushed. “You’re staying over? On a school night?!”   
  
“You sound like Onee-chan.” Ruby smirked. “I have everything I need here and You-chan goes to the same school so it’s fine. Right, You-chan?”

  
“Right.” You smiled back at Ruby.    
  
Leah rolled her eyes. “Ruby was right, you are whipped.”   
  
“Whipped?!” You pulled back a little, looking at Ruby in surprise. “Ruby-chan?”   
  
“I didn’t call you that. Please be nice, Leah-chan.” Ruby said though she didn’t look especially fazed.    
  
Leah rolled her eyes yet again. “Ugh. Please tell me you two aren’t wearing nothing. Why would you call me after that?!”   
  
“We are wearing clothes. See?”  Ruby turned the phone down to show that she was indeed wearing clothes. She quickly lifted the phone to her face again. “Don’t worry, Leah-chan.”   
  
“So you weren’t doing anything with her?” Leah asked skeptically. “Even though you’re having a sleepover.”   
  
“Ah, I didn’t say that…”   
  
“Ruby-chan!” You exclaimed in surprise, glancing at Ruby. She laughed awkwardly, turning back to the camera. “Um...she’s kidding.”   
  
“Sure she was.” Leah sad, disbelief evident in her tone.    
  
“So are you excited for your trip?” Ruby asked hopefully, deciding to change the subject. “You’re staying over at my house, right? For the night?”   
  
“Um...if that’s okay.” Leah answered softly, nodding her head. “And as long as you won’t be making out with your girlfriend.”   
  
Ruby laughed at that and gripped You’s hand between them to soothe her. “Don’t worry about that. It’ll just be the four of us. You, me, Hanamaru and Yoshiko-chan. You-chan is busy next weekend. Though I will talk about her...”   
  
“Oh crap, you’re gonna talk about your sex life.” Leah sighed at the thought. She didn’t want to hear any of that. “Damn it.”   
  
You groaned. “Please don’t do that. I don’t want everyone to know I’m a...you know what?”   
  
“What?” Leah asked, curiosity getting the better of it.    
  
“None of your business!” You exclaimed in response before she turned to Ruby. “Let’s just keep that between ourselves, okay?”   
  
“Aww, but You-chan is so cute.” Ruby turned to You and kissed her swiftly, causing You to pout.    
  
“Oh really? So you’re a bottom?” Leah smirked smugly at the thought.    
  
You groaned and turned her face into Ruby’s shoulder. “I hate you.”   
  
“You love me.” Ruby smirked.    
  
Leah laughed gleefully. “Sarah has got to know this!”   
  
“Fuck you.” You growled, her voice smothered by Ruby’s shoulder. “I’m not a…” She was cut off by her phone ringing. Relieved for the distraction she reached into her pocket and took it out, answering the call from Kanan.    
  
“You won’t believe what just happened!” Kanan exclaimed loudly before You had a chance to say anything. “The reason Mari was so sore during practice was because Dia screwed her like six times!”   
  
Ruby cringed at the thought. “Ah, I don’t need to hear this…”   
  
You’s eyes widened. “Really?! You’re talking about this NOW?!”   
  
“Kanan, give me that damn phone!” Mari could be heard exclaiming in English on the other end of the line. “Fuck, stop laughing!”   
  
Kanan couldn’t help it. “Dia is a dominatrix. She even blindfolded her!”   
  
“Mother fucker, shut up, Kanan!” Mari continued cursing in English, seemingly not realizing. “You’re such a dick!”   
  
“What does dick mean?” Both Ruby and Leah asked in unison.    
  
“Oh, is Leah there?!” Kanan asked in surprise, her laughter stopping for a moment. “Ruby, you should be careful. Dia can barely deal with you having one girlfriend.”   
  
“It’s not like that!” Ruby and Leah exclaimed in unison, causing Kanan to burst into giggles again.    
  
“I’m kidding, I’m kidding.” Kanan replied, wheezing for breath. “You-chan, I just called to tell you you’re not the only bottom in the group. At least you’re a power bottom…”   
  
“KANAN!” Mari’s voice grew louder in indignation.    
  
“Wha…? Oof, hey, get of-”    
  
The call ended abruptly and You placed the phone back onto the bed. “I think I feel a bit better.”   
  
\-----   
  
“I think I need to take a long hot bath.” Yukiho complained idly as she flexed her arm back and forth with a wince. “I’m so sore.”   
  
Raven gave a snort of laughter as he ascended the stairs at Yukiho’s side, taking his keys from his jacket pocket in preparation for reaching the door.. “That’s what you get for hitting me.”   
  
“Geeze, I said I was sorry.” Yukiho pouted. “You told me to let out all of my anger and I just missed the glove, that’s all.”   
  
“Well you have a good right hook at least. Good thing you were wearing gloves too or I’d have more than a bruise to worry about.” Raven laughed as Yukiho glared at him. “I’m just kidding. I said it’s fine, didn’t I?”   
  
Yukiho grumbled as they reached the door and she watched him unlock it. They stepped inside only to pause at the sound of loud laughter coming from the kitchen. They shared a curious look before they made their way toward the source of the noise together only to find Nico covered in flour and cake mixture, Hanayo doubled over with laughter.    
  
“What’s….going on?” Raven asked, his voice tinged with curiosity and amusement as he stepped further into the kitchen.    
  
“Nico-chan was trying to help me bake.” Hanayo answered, her eyes shimmering as she turned to him. “Kei-san is going to love this...what happened to your face?”   
  
“Just training.” Raven answered with a shake of his head, touching the bruise on his chin. “Guess we missed out on all of the fun, Yukiho-chan.”   
  
“Fun?” Yukiho asked skeptically, noticing that Nico’s hair was partially white with flower. “On second thoughts, maybe Nico-san should take a shower before me.”   
  
“You are a mess.” Raven pointed out as he moved toward Nico. He wiped some flour from her face, chuckling to himself.    
  
“Yeah, well…” Nico grumbled, rolling her eyes. “I’m gonna take a shower before dinner.”   
  
“Come on then.” Raven bent and slid one arm under Nico’s legs and one around her back before he picked her up bridal style.    
  
Nico yelped in surprise. “You’re going to get flour all over you!”   
  
“I’ll change, it’s fine.”   
  
“Where is the rice to throw when you need some?” Hanayo smirked with a roll of her eyes as she watched the two disappear into the bathroom. There was a sudden splash and a moment later Raven reappeared, dusting himself off. “Did you just dump her into the tub?”   
  
“Maybe.”    
  
Hanayo stepped to the side in time to see Nico plod out of the bathroom, dipping water everywhere as she wrapped a towel around herself.    
  
Yukiho promptly burst out laughing.    
  
“Stupid damn cop.” Nico scowled, struggling with her sodden clothes as she made her way to the bedroom. “Good cop, my ass.”   
  
“That was a quick bath.” Raven quipped as he watched her walk away.    
  
“I’m gonna get you back for this, just wait.” Nico warned as she disappeared into the bedroom to change.    
  
“Bath’s free.” Raven smirked, glancing at Yukiho who was only just beginning to compose herself.    
  
“Thanks.” Yukiho glanced hesitantly at Hanayo before she turned and left for the bathroom, remembering she had a change of clothes in there for when she got back from the gym.    
  
Raven sat down as the door closed behind Yukiho. Seeing movement in the bedroom he looked up in time to see Nico walk out, wearing his work shirt and a pair of his boxers.    
  
“Hey!”   
  
“Payback’s a bitch.” Nico smirked, shrugging her shoulders.    
  
Raven huffed and turned his gaze away, crossing his arms in front of his chest. “I have work tomorrow.”   
  
“And you have like five of these shirts.” Nico pointed out with a roll of her eyes. “Why do you even need so many?”   
  
“I work five days a week?”   
  
Nico scoffed. “You have a washing machine. You do know how to use it, right?”   
  
“Of course I…” Raven cut himself off, realizing she was just trying to get him back. He looked back to her, smiling thinly. “You look cold though. My hoodie is in there too if you want it. You know, the blue one? You can wear it if you want.”   
  
“Seriously?” Nico raised an eyebrow, surprised that her plan to get back at him had gone wrong. “I’m fine. Where’s Yukiho?”   
  
“Bath.” Hanayo answered simply.    
  
“You know I have a hoodie too, Raven.” Nico pointed out coyly. “Why don’t you wear it?”   
  
“Isn’t that Rin’s?” Hanayo asked thoughtfully.    
  
Raven gave a slight laugh. “I’ve seen you wear it and it’s only a little too big for you. Which means it would be way too small for me. I’ll pass.”   
  
Nico growled under her breath. “You’re an ass.”   
  
“Thanks.” Raven smirked at her. He knew she didn’t mean it, she was mostly just annoyed that she couldn’t argue back.    
  
“I think you both have nice asses.” Hanayo smiled dreamily.    
  
“That’s not even what we were talking about!” Nico and Raven exclaimed in unison as they turned to her.    
  
“Besides.” Nico continued, clearing her throat. “You have the best ass.”   
  
Raven nodded in agreement    
  
Hanayo laughed, blushing at the praise. “I don’t know about that. And everyone in Muse agreed that Nico-chan has the perkiest butt.”   
  
“Maybe but yours is still the best.” Raven said with a shrug of his shoulders. “Ugh, why are we even talking about this? There’s a minor in the house, you know.”   
  
“You’re the one who started it.” Nico pointed out.    
  
“I did not!” Raven exclaimed hurriedly. He groaned, his head falling into his hands. “I don’t think Yukiho-chan knows what she’s getting herself into.”   
  
“Did someone say my name?”   
  
Raven looked up to see the door had opened and Yukiho was stepping out, clad in pajamas. “No, don’t worry. I thought you were going to take a long bath?”   
  
Yukiho smiled bashfully. “Um...I was actually hoping I could talk to you. And Hanayo-san too. If that’s okay.”   
  
Hanayo and Raven shared a curious look before Hanayo nodded and went to sit down at the table with Raven. “Of course.”   
  
Yukiho shuffled over, her stomach fluttering with nerves. “I-I was wondering if maybe I could stay here for a while longer. I just need some time away from Eli-san and...time to get back on my feet.”   
  
“Of course.” Raven answered smoothly at the same time as Hanayo.    
  
“I don’t know…”   
  
Hanayo glanced at Raven in surprise, noticing he looked just as shocked by her answer.    
  
“Awkward…” Nico mumbled from near the stove. She bent to look at the salmon she was grilling, wrapped in tin foil. She didn’t say anything. It wasn’t her place to though she had to agree with Raven on the matter.    
  
“Why not?!” Raven exclaimed in surprise.    
  
Hanayo sighed at the question. “I’m sorry, just...this weekend was such a mess and I guess I’m being selfish but...ugh, I need to think about it. I’m sorry.”   
  
Yukiho guilily bit her lip as Hanayo got up and left the room. “Ah, I guess I shouldn’t have asked.”   
  
Nico sighed, having noticed Hanayo take something out of the far right drawer before she left for the bedroom. “Can you watch the food?”   
  
“Sure…” Raven answered warily.   
  
“I’ll talk to her.” Nico mumbled before she followed Hanayo. She walked into the room and shivered at the breeze on her arms. She glanced to the window, unsurprised to see Hanayo sitting on the window sill, holding the lit cigarette as tears tracked down her cheeks.    
  
Sighing, Nico walked over to her and took the cigarette. “You need to quit this.” She stubbed the cigarette out on the outside ledge of the window and carelessly tossed it out.    
  
“You keep telling me that.”   
  
“I know.” Nico leaned against the wall next to the window. “You don’t want him to find out, do you?”   
  
Hanayo shrugged her shoulders.    
  
“Hanayo.” Nico touched Hanayo’s shoulder to get her attention. “What’s going on with you? If you really don’t want Yukiho here, it’s fine. We can work something else ou-”

  
“Raven’s not going to accept that.” Hanayo sighed and rubbed her eyes to rid herself of her tears. “He wants to help her.”   
  
“We’ll figure something else out for her.” Nico gently squeezed Hanayo’s shoulder. “Maybe he can still help her out. He has connections, right?”   
  
Hanayo shook her head in frustration. “I should want to help her too. It’s the right thing to do but...but…”   
  
“But?” Nico pressed gently.    
  
“She looks like Honoka.” Hanayo said, lowering her eyes. “I look at her and I think about that night and I think about how I couldn’t do anything to help Honoka.” She gave a scoff of disbelief. “And now I’m refusing to help Honoka’s sister when I have the chance to. How selfish can I be…?”   
  
“You’re not selfish, you’re just...not past what happened yet.” Nico sat down on the window ledge next to Hanayo and reached out, taking her hand. “It’s understandable. And Yukiho is mature...maturer than she should be even. If you explain how you feel to her she’ll understand.”   
  
“She’s just a kid, I can’t tell her that.” Hanayo bit her lip. “She’s just a kid and she doesn’t really have anyone else to look out for her. It’s too complicated with her and Eli-chan and Arisa’s just a kid herself. She only really has you and Raven who want to look out for her.”   
  
Nico bit the inside of her cheek. She couldn’t argue with that but she didn’t feel like she needed to. Hanayo was slowly convincing herself of what needed to be done, it seemed.    
  
“I can’t be this weak forever.” Hanayo mused to herself, looking down at the street below. “Honoka-chan would want me to help Yukiho. She’d hate to see her alone.”   
  
Nico nodded silently.   
  
“Right.” Hanayo took a deep breath and stood up from the the window sill. “If she’s going to be staying there has to be some ground rules though.”   
  
Nico smiled and stood up to follow Hanayo as her girlfriend left the room. She had known Hanayo would end up changing her mind.    
  
Raven and Yukiho both looked up as Hanayo and Nico entered the room. They were sitting next to each other at the table, Raven’s hand resting on Yukiho’s shoulder.    
  
“I’m sorry!” Yukiho exclaimed quickly, getting to her feet. “I didn’t mean to be so blunt when I asked. I-I still have Kotori-chan’s apartment to stay at so it’s…”   
  
“You can stay.” Hanayo interrupted sharply. She noticed the look of relief on Yukiho’s face and was quick to continue. “But there are rules.”   
  
“Of course!”   
  
“First of all, you have to be home by um...ten?” Hanayo looked to Nico for advice and the girl quickly shook her head. “Eight?” When Nico nodded, Hanayo continued. “Eight every night.”   
  
“Unless it’s a weekend, you can come back by nine.” Nico piped up, deciding to be a little lenient.   
  
“But if you are going to be late you have to let us know so we know where you are or I can come and pick you up.” Raven chimed in with a nod of his head.    
  
“Um...okay?” Yukiho asked hesitantly. “Is that it?”   
  
“Uh...if you’re going to have boys...or girls over you have to leave your bedroom door ajar.” Hanayo continued, nodding her head resolutely.      
  
“Definitely.” Nico piped up, nodding her head.    
  
“Um...what about like...rent or…?” Yukiho asked thoughtfully.    
  
“No.” The three of them said in unison though it was Hanayo who continued. “Absolutely no paying rent ever.”   
  
“But what about food and…”   
  
“We’ve got it covered.” Raven said with an adamant shake of his head. “I guess you can help with the dishes sometimes if you want.”   
  
Yukiho bit her lip. “Well...okay. Can I make a request?”   
  
Raven, Nico and Hanayo shared a look but nodded silently.    
  
“If you have sex….any of you, can you please put a sock on the door handle or something?”   
  
“Okay.” Nico said, nodding her head. “Wait. Wait, wait. Are you a virgin?”   
  
“Nope, not listening.” Raven clamped his hands over his ears, cringing.    
  
“Yes. But I can still read. I know what sex is.” Yukiho said with a roll of her eyes. “Just try not to be too obvious about it...well at least in terms of how much noise you make.”   
  
“Okay, okay.” Nico answered with a smirk. She moved to stand behind Raven, moving his hands from his ears. “Don’t worry, she’s done talking about sex.”   
  
Raven breathed a sigh of relief. “Another rule. If you three are going to talk about that make sure I’m not in the room.”   
  
Yukiho pouted. “So I can’t talk to you about girls? Or boys?”   
  
“Well...as long as you keep it PG.” Raven paused, remembering something. “Crap, I completely forgot. My sister is coming over in a couple of days to stay for the week.”   
  
“She can share with Yukiho.” Hanayo pointed out, glancing at Yukiho. “You don’t mind, right?”   
  
“I-I don’t think I really have a right to mind. I only just moved in.” Yukiho said with a sheepish laugh. “It should be fine. I’m not good with people my own age really but I can try…”   
  
Raven visibly relaxed. “Don’t worry, Itsuki is really shy too. I think you two will get along.”   
  
“Yeah if they manage to say a single word to each other.” Nico smirked only to be lightly jabbed in the ribs by Hanayo. “Ow. I mean...of course they’ll get along.”   
  
Yukiho smiled, looking down at the floor. “And um...is it okay for Arisa-chan to come over sometimes? I don’t want to leave her behind.”   
  
Hanayo nodded. “But if she’s staying over, the door still has to stay open.”   
  
“Eh?! But...it’s not like that!”   
  
“You say that now but I know how hormonal teenage girls can be. I was one, remember?” Hanayo asked matter of factly. Nico nodded in agreement.    
  
“Oh come on, she’s just my best friend…” Yukiho huffed but didn’t put up much argument. Instead she turned to Raven. “By the way does your sister look like you?”   
  
“Oh um...no. She’s kind of my um...half sister actually but ah, here’s a picture.” Raven dug into his pocket, taking out his phone. Pulling a picture up, he handed it to Yukiho.    
  
“Oh.” Yukiho blushed at the picture.    
  
“I knew blondes were your type!” Nico exclaimed victoriously. “Even Daichi had that color, right? You told me at the amusement park.”   
  
Raven looked toward Yukiho, narrowing his eyes. “No funny business. Hanayo, don’t teach her any moves.”   
  
“What, I wasn’t going to.” Hanayo said defensively. “Although if you want some good compliments to gi-”   
  
“NO!” Raven interrupted loudly. He turned to Yukiho. “Please just don’t hit on my sister. I don’t even know if she likes girls.”   
  
“Yukiho can certainly change that, she’s a catch.”   
  
“HANAYO!”   
  
“What? Yukiho-chan is cute!” Hanayo replied, staring at Yukiho. “And ho-”   
  
“Don’t finish that sentence!” Nico interrupted before Hanayo could finish what she was saying.    
  
Raven frowned at Hanayo, shaking his head. “Do you like every girl you meet?”   
  
Hanayo shrugged her shoulders. “Just the hot ones.”   
  
Raven sighed heavily. “No more people are allowed to join your harem, okay? Just me and Nico.”   
  
Yukiho who had been busy staring at the picture on the phone looked up. “Harem?”   
  
“It’s not a harem.” Nico and Hanayo said in unison.    
  
“Huh…” Yukiho stared at them for a moment before she looked back down at the picture. “You guys are weird. But Itsuki-chan is cute…”   
  
Raven felt his head begin to pound. “Yukiho!”    
  
TBC   



	28. Chapter 28

Hanayo walked out of her bedroom, rubbing her eyes. She hadn’t managed to get much sleep the previous night but she wasn’t sure why. She supposed her mind had been on other things. Like Honoka. But mostly Nico, who had been sleeping next to her, huddled against her side.    
  
She had lay awake for most of the night, staring at the ceiling. She didn’t know what was wrong with her. She should be happy but she had a sickening feeling in the pit of her stomach.    
  
She walked into the kitchen, intending to find herself a cup of coffee, only to pause in the doorway. Nico and Raven were sitting close together at the table, Nico leaning toward Raven to look down at whatever he was reading.    
  
“You excited for Itsuki to get here?” Nico asked suddenly after she took a sip of her coffee.    
  
Raven glanced at her, smiling broadly. “Yeah! It’s been a while since I really got to hang out with her so her staying over here will be ideal.”   
  
Nico chuckled to herself. “She’ll enjoy herself. It’ll be a good break.”   
  
Hanayo twitched as Nico lay a hand on Raven’s shoulder.    
  
“I hope so.” Raven replied.    
  
“Yukiho is a good girl, it’ll be fine.”   
  
“Thanks.” Raven kissed Nico’s forehead in gratitude.    
  
Nico got up and turned away, walking to the stove with an extra swing in her hips. Raven watched for a moment before he turned back to the newspaper.    
  
“You were checking my ass out, weren’t you?” Nico asked expectantly.    
  
“Shut up.” Raven looked up as Hanayo walked further into the room.    
  
Nico noticed movement too and smiled at the sight of Hanayo. “Nobody can resist it, huh?”   
  
“Huh? Uh, yeah. Right.” Hanayo answered quietly.    
  
“You okay?” Nico frowned, crossing to Hanayo    
  
“Yeah, I’m gonna um...get dressed.”   
  
“Okay.” Nico leaned in and gently kissed Hanayo’s lips. “I’ll make you breakfast. Hey Raven, chop some vegetables.”   
  
Raven sighed and got up from the table. “Yeah, yeah.”   
  
“Thank you.” Nico intercepted him, pecking him on the lips. Out of the corner of her eye she noticed Hanayo quickly begin to leave the room. “Hana-”   
  
Hanayo closed the bedroom door behind her and leaned back against it, closing her eyes. She took a deep breath to calm herself but her heart still pounded heavily against her chest. The sickening feeling was back again, stronger than before. She covered her face with her hand, cursing herself under her breath.    
  
“This is such a mess.” She mumbled to herself, her head starting to throb. She’d thought she could deal with a relationship with the three of them but the more she saw Nico and Raven together the sicker she felt. It had barely been noticeable in the beginning and she’d tried to force more enthusiasm than may have been necessary but it wasn’t working.    
  
The worst part about it was that it wasn’t about Nico taking Raven from her, it was about Raven taking Nico. Nico was treating him like a damn husband. She chuckled darkly. Nico was the perfect wife and she was always so motherly.    
  
Hanayo forced herself away from the door and hurriedly got dressed, throwing on some clothes. She paused to slide her laptop into her messenger bag and swung it on over her shoulders before she left the room.    
  
She walked back to the kitchen where she found Nico cooking something she couldn’t quite see, her view blocked by Raven who was standing behind Nico, his hands on her waist.    
  
“I’m going out!” She called to them, quickly turning around.    
  
“Wait, what about breakfast?” Nico asked, moving out from in front of Raven who’d been trying to take the spatula from her hand, claiming that he could easily cook just as well as she could. They both knew it wasn’t true.    
  
“Not hungry.”   
  
“Well don’t forget a goodbye hug.” Nico said, stepping forward.    
  
“Sorry, gotta get going. The library’s not gonna wait for me to get there, you know?” Hanayo laughed awkwardly as she took a few steps back.    
  
Nico frowned. “Hanayo.”   
  
“I’m fine. Don’t do anything I would do , you two.” Hanayo forced a smirk to her lips before she turned and hurried to the front door.   
  
“Wait, do you want me to drive you to the library?!” Raven called after Hanayo only to hear the front door close a few seconds later. He frowned to himself. “Okay, she definitely heard me…”   
  
Nico bit her lip. “I’m worried.”   
  
Raven quickly went to take the pan from the hob. “She’s probably just stressing over tests.”   
  
“Right, that could be it…” Nico mumbled. She hoped that was all it was.   
  
\----   
  
Arisa watched in amusement as Yukiho bustled around the bedroom, straightening things here and there, tidying things that didn’t even need to be tidied. “You only moved in here two days ago. How much of a mess do you think you could make?”   
  
“I just want to be sure.” Yukiho said nervously as she paused, glancing around the room. “I want everything to be perfect. I’m lucky Raven-san and Hanayo-san even let me stay with them.”   
  
“It’s cute.” Arisa said in amusement. She had to admit it had taken her some time to get used to the idea of Yukiho living somewhere else but she could see that Yukiho was happier than she had been before. “I’ve never seen you tidy up this much before.”   
  
“What? I always…” Yukiho trailed off at the sound of the front door being opened. “Oh, that must be them. Come with me!”   
  
Arisa chuckled under her breath and got up from the bed, following Yukiho into the living room.    
  
As Yukiho had suspected she found Raven closing the door, a suitcase in one hand and a blonde girl at his side. He set the suitcase down. “Ah, Yukiho-chan. This is my sister, Itsuki. Itsuki, this is Yukiho-chan.”   
  
“N-Nice to meet you.” Itsuki inched a little behind Raven, clutching the back of his jacket. She flinched as the door opened behind them and Hanayo and Nico walked in.    
  
“How was your date?” Raven asked them casually.    
  
“Good.” Hanayo answered with a small smile. “But Nico-chan had to wear that ridiculous mask.”   
  
Nico rolled her eyes as she took the face mask off, along with her glasses. “What don’t you two understand about incognito?”   
  
“H-Hi Nico-san…” Itsuki piped up unsurely.    
  
“Oh. Hey, Itsuki. I didn’t see you there.” Nico glanced at Yukiho with a smirk. “Have you met Yukiho? She’s been dying to meet you.”   
  
“Nico-chan, don’t tease her.” Hanayo said seriously.    
  
“I’m not. I’ll start dinner. Raven, can you help me with the chopping?”  Nico asked as she walked to the kitchen.    
  
“Sure.” Raven paused to make sure Itsuki had let go of his jacket before he lightly ruffled her hair. “Don’t worry, you’ll be fine. I’ll be right in the kitchen.”   
  
“R-Right.” Itsuki took a deep breath. She had told herself that she would do her best to be more confident while Hisa was away.    
  
She watched as Raven walked over to Hanayo and took the bags from her before lightly kissing the girl’s lips. After, her went to Nico, gently pushing her into the kitchen while kissing her forehead.    
  
“Hey, don’t do that!” Nico called out as the two of them disappeared from view.    
  
“But you’re so small, Koneko-chan.”   
  
“NOT IN FRONT OF THE KIDS!”   
  
Itsuki nervously bit her lip as she glanced between Hanayo and Arisa and Yukiho. “Um…”   
  
“Oh, I’m Ayase Arisa.” Arisa said, taking a step forward. “I’m Yukiho-chan’s best friend. You’ll probably see me around a lot. It’s nice to meet you.”   
  
“Y-You too.” Itsuki smiled warily at the other blonde.    
  
“Now Itsuki, these two may be a year older than you and they’ll be graduating soon but they’re good kids.” Hanayo said, looking between the three of them. “Especially our little Yukiho.”   
  
“I-I’m not little!” Yukiho finally managed to speak, her face flushed.    
  
Hanayo chuckled under her breath. “Why don’t you show Itsuki to her room, Yukiho?”   
  
“Eh?!” Yukiho’s eyes widened. “I-I mean I thought m-maybe Raven-san would want to…”   
  
“You can go ahead, Yukiho!” Raven called, poking his head around the door.    
  
Yukiho gulped in response and glanced warily at Itsuki, noticing big green eyes watching her cautiously. She steeled herself. She had to make a good impression. “R-Right, come on Itsuki-chan. I’ll show you around.”   
  
“Right.” Itsuki glanced warily into the kitchen before she left with Yukiho and Arisa.    
  
Hanayo peaked into the kitchen, smiling softly to herself when she noticed Nico and Raven standing side by side, music blaring from Nico’s iPhone. She recognized the music as ARise right away.    
  
Raven glanced to Nico. “What’s this song again…?”   
  
“It’s really old. It’s called private wars.” Nico answered.    
  
“You still like idols?” Raven asked curiously.    
  
Nico shrugged. “I’ve tried to...steer away from idols. But I still like them, I guess.”   
  
Hanayo walked into the kitchen. “Nico-chan is the number one idol for a reason, Raven.”   
  
“I see that.” Raven said thoughtfully before he went back to chopping.    
  
Hanayo wandered over to him, leaning against the counter next to him. “Do you need any help?”   
  
“We’re fine.” Nico answered with a shake of her head. “You should just relax.”   
  
Hanayo pouted. “I don’t want to relax though.”   
  
“I’m done with chopping anyway.” Raven said, laying the knife down. He leaned into Hanayo, kissing her briefly. “Thank you for reassuring Itsuki.”   
  
“It’s fine, I’m not that bad with kids, you know.” Hanayo wrapped her arms around his neck.    
  
“I was thinking about maybe inviting Cocoro and Cocoa to come over.” Nico said hopefully, glancing toward them. “They really seem to be missing me. Is it okay if...”   
  
“Sure it is.” Raven answered, barely noticing the song change. He figured Nico trailing off was a result of her being hesitant to ask. “This is your place now too, Nico.”   
  
He finished speaking but noticed that Hanayo and Nico were completely silent. Hanayo’s arms slipped away from around his neck. “Um…” Looking at them, he noticed they were both a little pale.    
  
“How did that get into the mix?” Nico muttered, shakily reaching for her phone. She could barely unlock it.    
  
“I’ve never heard this song before.” Raven looked over Nico’s shoulder, seeing the song read ‘Yume no Tobira’. “Who’s singing?”   
  
“Honoka-chan.” Hanayo answered from behind him. “She’s always been the lead singer. And Eli-chan and Umi-chan…”   
  
“Oh.” Raven took the phone from Nico, seeing she was having trouble holding it herself. “Are you two...okay?”   
  
Nico walked past him and into Hanayo’s arms. As she passed Raven noticed tears lingering in her eyes.    
  
“Turn it off.” Nico said, her voice muffled by Hanayo’s shoulder. She heard her voice harmonize with Honoka’s. “Turn it off now!”   
  
Raven quickly pressed pause and set the phone aside. He didn’t know what to say so he stood there, waiting for them to speak.    
  
“It’s okay, Nico-chan.” Hanayo soothed gently, rubbing Nico’s back. “I know.”   
  
“I wrote that song with her.” Nico whispered tearfully, clutching Hanayo’s shirt. “Me, Umi and Honoka wrote that song together…”   
  
“I know.” Hanayo said again, her voice soft as she tightened her embrace.    
  
Raven bit his lip, looking down at the phone. It made sense now, why they had reacted the way they had. “Why don’t you two go to the bedroom for a while? I’ll finish dinner up, okay?” He moved toward them, placing a hand on each of their shoulders. “Go on, it’ll be fine. You should take a minute.”   
  
“Thank you.” Hanayo whispered gratefully.    
  
Raven watched Hanayo guide Nico out of the room before he took his earphones from his jacket pocket. Plugging them into the phone he inserted the earbuds into his ears and pressed play. He smiled softly as he listened to the words. He hadn’t known Nico for very long but even he recognized that she’d definitely written some of it.    
  
\-----   
  
_ “So what do you think?” Honoka asked excitedly as she watched Eli finish reading the song lyrics. She had been trying to watch Eli’s face for any reaction but Eli’s expression remained neutral. “Most of it was done by Umi-chan but me and Nico-chan helped too. The title was actually Nico-chan’s idea!” _ _   
_ _   
_ _ “Well it was one of my ideas.” Nico explained pointedly from where she sat at the desk in the clubroom. “Umi shot down the others.” _ _   
_ _   
_ _ “The others had Nico Nii in them.” Umi argued, shaking her head in exasperation. “We were trying to make it for all of us.” _ _   
_ _   
_ _ “Hey, it was a good title!” _ _   
_ _   
_ _ “I thought it was cute?” Honoka offered, shrugging her shoulders.  _ _   
_ _   
_ _ Eli couldn’t help but laugh at the exchange between the three of them. “Well I like it. I’ll start making the dance routines for it.” _ _   
_ _   
_ _ Honoka nodded enthusiastically. “Eli-senpai has solo parts in it.” _ _   
_ _   
_ _ “That was Honoka’s idea.” Umi explained with a slight smile. “She said that she likes singing with you.” _ _   
_ _   
_ _ Nico rolled her eyes. “How oblivious can Honoka be…” She muttered under her breath.  _ _   
_ _   
_ _ “Hold on a minute!” Maki’s voice sounded just before she walked into the room. “I need to do the composing first! Jeez, you three idiots really forgot that I’m supposed to look at these things first…” _ _   
_ _   
_ _ “I was actually going to tell them.” Umi reasoned with a guilty grimace. “But Honoka wanted Eli to read the lyrics.” _ _   
_ _   
_ _ Maki turned to their leader and was about to say something when Kotori walked into the room behind her. “Calm down, Maki-chan. Honoka-chan has her reasons for being so eager. We got into the quarter finals.” _ _   
_ _   
_ _ “We’re going to be side by side with ARise!” Hanayo exclaimed loudly as she barged into the room with Rin.  _ _   
_ _   
_ _ Nozomi walked in right behind them. “Ah, so this is where you were, Elichi.” _ _   
_ _   
_ _ Eli was still busy blushing over what Umi had said. If she was honest, she liked singing with Honoka too. Maybe even more than she liked singing with the other girls. She realized that Nozomi was speaking to her. “Huh?” _ _   
_ _   
_ _ “Quit daydreaming.” Nozomi said, an amused look on her face as she came to a stop behind Eli’s seat.  _ _   
_ _   
_ _ Eli gave a nervous laugh in response, her gaze flitting to Honoka. She noticed Maki had moved closer to Honoka’s side and looked away again. She didn’t know why the thought of them getting close bothered her. It shouldn’t.  _ _   
_ _   
_ _ She didn’t noticed Honoka move toward her until a hand slid into her own. Eli looked up sharply to find Honoka right next to her.  _ _   
_ _   
_ _ “We should practice our parts. Umi-chan too. All three of us need to be in sync!” Honoka exclaimed brightly. “Hanayo-chan, we get to harmonize together!” _ _   
_ _   
_ _ Hanayo looked surprised and excited at the same time. “W-We do?” _ _   
_ _   
_ _ Honoka nodded. “It’s gonna be fun.” _ _   
_ _   
_ _ “I-I promise I won’t mess up!” Hanayo exclaimed quickly.  _ _   
_ _   
_ _ “Calm down, Kayo-chin. You’re gonna be great.” Rin said with a soft smile. “It’s just Honoka-chan.” _ _   
_ _   
_ _ Hanayo nodded. “I just don’t want to mess up.” _ _   
_ _   
_ _ Nico placed her hand on Hanayo’s shoulder. “You won’t mess up, Hanayo. You’re our backbone after all.” _ _   
_ _   
_ _ Hanayo looked up, seeing a warm smile on Nico’s face. Her heart thumped faster at the sight of it. “R-Right!” _ _   
_ _   
_ _ “You will.” Honoka chimed in brightly.  _ _   
_ _   
_ _ Eli wondered if Honoka knew she was still holding onto her hand. She looked down, hoping her own wasn’t growing clammy with nerves. She didn’t say anything, warmed by the simple touch.  _ _   
_ _   
_ _ “So forward, Nicocchi. It’s making me jealous.” Nozomi teased, a smirk tugging at her lips. “Lucky girl you are, Hanayo-chan.” _ _   
_ _   
_ _ “HUH?!” _ _   
_ _   
_ _ Eli looked up just in time to see Nico’s hand had been resting on Hanayo’s shoulder before Hanayo jumped away from the soft touch of the shorter girl, her face burning red.  _ _   
_ _   
_ _ “K-Kayo-chin, you’re burning up! Don’t faint on me!” Rin exclaimed hurriedly.  _ _   
_ _   
_ _ “N-Nico-chan was touching me.” Hanayo stuttered.  _ _   
_ _   
_ _ “Okay, I was only touching your shoulder!” Nico exclaimed defensively. “Nozomi, why do you always have to put weird things into the first years heads?!” _ _   
_ _   
_ _ Nozomi smirked. “You’re blushing too.” _ _   
_ _   
_ _ “Shut up.” Nico ran a hand over her face, hoping that would rid her of her blush. _ _   
_ _   
_ “I think that was when my crush on you started.” Hanayo whispered as she turned onto her side to face Nico. Nico herself was already facing her on the bed, both of them lying atop the covers. “Your smile...your real one, is captivating.”   
  
“You liked me then and you only made a move on me when you turned seventeen?” Nico asked in surprise, raising an eyebrow.    
  
“Shut up, I was really shy.”   
  
“I was just going to say it’s cute.” Nico said in amusement before she turned serious. “I liked Nozomi back then.”   
  
Hanayo nodded. “I know. It’s why I pushed myself to become so much more forward. I wanted you to notice me.”   
  
“Well it certainly worked.” Nico said softly. “But I do misses glasses, shy, cute, adorable Hanayo sometimes.” She bit her lip, thinking for a few seconds. “You must really love me to try to become like that…”   
  
“You were my first love, Nico-chan.”   
  
“You’re mine too.” Nico said sincerely. “But please be more like you, okay? You don’t have to force anything for my sake. I love you the way you are.”   
  
Hanay huddled closer and Nico leaned back just a little to see the blush on the girl’s face. “There she is.”   
  
“Nico-chan…”   
  
Nico leaned in and kissed Hanayo, fleetingly at first and then after they parted for air, she kissed her deeper, rolling over to straddle her.    
  
Hanayo was kissing her back but slowly, she realized, and soon enough she felt a dampness on her cheeks. She pulled back, catching sight of her girlfriend in tears and hugged her tightly. “You don’t have to hide anything anymore…”   
  
\-----   
  
_ Eli watched Honoka closely as the girl sang along to the lyrics they were both looking down at. Umi stood at Honoka’s other side, the sheet of lyrics sitting atop the piano in the music room. Behind the piano sat Maki, playing for them. Kotori was sitting sideways on the piano bench next to Maki, sketching out their outfits.  _ _   
_ _   
_ _ Maki stopped playing suddenly. “Eli, you need to be higher. Umi is harmonizing with you but I can only hear her voice.” _ _   
_ _   
_ _ Eli huffed out a sigh. “It’s not my fault Umi has an overpowering voice…” _ _   
_ _   
_ _ “Ah, sorry!” Umi exclaimed, her cheeks reddening.  _ _   
_ _   
_ _ “Maybe Honoka-chan should harmonize with Umi-chan.” Kotori piped up hopefully, sitting up a little straighter in her seat.  _ _   
_ _   
_ _ “Wha…? I can do it!” Eli exclaimed in embarrassment.  _ _   
_ _   
_ _ “Maybe I should harmonize with you, Eli-senpai?” Honoka asked, glancing between Eli and Umi. “That could be easier. My voice isn’t as overpo...um...strong as Umi-chan’s is.” _ _   
_ _   
_ _ Eli bit her lip and looked to Maki for a response.  _ _   
_ _   
_ _ “You can try.” Maki said with a shrug.  _ _   
_ _   
_ _ Kotori sighed in disappointment and leaned back, her back brushing against Maki’s shoulder.  _ _   
_ _   
_ _ Maki felt a strange jolt as Kotori touched her. Usually only Honoka caused that. “Kotori, I-I need to concentrate.” _ _   
_ _   
_ _ “Don’t care, you’re comfy.” _ _   
_ _   
_ _ Maki’s eyes widened. “Eh?!” _ _   
_ _   
_ _ Kotori giggled at Maki’s confusion. “Just keep playing, I’m only gonna be focusing on my notebook.” _ _   
_ _   
_ _ “F-Fine…” _ _   
_ _   
_ _ “Kotori, you’re so shameless!” Umi lowered her voice as she leaned toward Kotori but they all heard her.  _ _   
_ _   
_ _ “What’s the harm in a little skinship?” Kotori quipped causing Maki’s blush to deepen.  _ _   
_ _   
_ _ “W-Well at least you didn’t look up my skirt…” Maki reasoned.  _ _   
_ _   
_ _ “I didn’t do that!” Honoka exclaimed in defense.  _ _   
_ _   
_ _ Eli’s eyes widened. “What?!” _ _   
_ _   
_ _ “I didn’t, I swear!” Honoka said quickly. “Ah, don’t punish me! B-Besides it worked out in the end, right, Maki-chan? I mean well...ugh. Not in that way. B-But not NOT in that way too. Um...I didn’t even see anything?” _ _   
_ _   
_ _ “Honoka, run.” Umi said seriously.  _ _   
_ _   
_ _ “Eh?!” _ _   
_ _   
_ _ “Now.” _ _   
_ _   
_ _ Honoka looked to Eli, noticing an annoyed look on her face as she slowly set the sheet of lyrics back down. She didn’t look as annoyed as Umi did though.  _ _   
_ _   
_ _ Honoka bolted for the door and ran out into the corridor, Umi hot on her heels. “SHAMELESS!” _ _   
_ _   
_ _ Eli glared at Maki, confused by what Honoka had said. She could see that Maki was blushing too, looking down at the keys her fingers rested upon. “I hope looking up your skirt was all she did…” _ _   
_ _   
_ _ “W-What, why would you care?” Maki stuttered, forcing herself to meet Eli’s eyes.  _ _   
_ _   
_ _ “I-I don’t, I…” Eli gritted her teeth. “Uh, I’ll work on my voice for the harmonies with Umi.” _ _   
_ _   
_ _ “Yeah, okay.”  _ _   
_ _   
_ “I was so jealous of you back then.”  Eli mused in amusement as Maki recounted the memory. It brought with it a tinge of sadness though, causing her eyes to dampen with tears.    
  
“Well since we both now know it wasn’t Honoka you shouldn’t be.” Maki said reasonably, shrugging her shoulders.    
  
Eli frowned. “Still…”   
  
“You didn’t even understand your feelings back then.” Kotori pointed out from Maki’s other side on the couch. “None of us did. Well except me.”   
  
Maki looked up in surprise. “You liked me for that long?”   
  
Kotori gave a soft scoff of disbelief. “Who wouldn’t fall for the cute tsundere with red hair?”   
  
Maki blushed. “I’m not cute.”   
  
Eli dashed tears from her eyes. “Gotta agree with her, you are cute. All three of the first years in Muse were adorable.”   
  
“Couldn’t say that now.” Maki mused with a roll of her eyes. She felt Kotori lightly grip her hand and gave  a squeeze in response.    
  
Eli zoned out for a moment, getting lost in her own thoughts until she heard the door open. She looked up, hoping to find Yukiho had come back but her heart sank when she saw it was only Rin.    
  
Rin looked puzzled as she closed the door behind her. “What’s going on? Did something happen?”   
  
Eli shook her head in response. “No, everything’s fine. We were just talking about the past. Honoka.” Her voice faded slightly at the end of her sentence.   
  
Rin paused for a moment before she dropped her bag and headed over to them. “Oh, like when Honoka-chan got us all to go to the camp? And Maki-chan, Kotori-chan and Umi-chan all had breakdowns because they didn’t know what to do for love live?”   
  
“We did not break down.” Maki grumbled.    
  
“You were all in the fetal position.” Rin pointed out, raising an eyebrow. “You were a mess.”   
  
“We kind of were.” Kotori agreed with a sheepish laugh. “I’m still surprised we managed to finish anything.”   
  
Rin sat down cross legged in front of the couch.    
  
“You all missed Elichi’s breakdown.”    
  
The group looked up at the sound of Nozomi’s voice, finding her leaning against the doorway to the spare bedroom with Umi at her side.    
  
“It was after the composition.” Nozomi said, smirking. “She had no clue what to do for the dance routine. It was pretty funny seeing her dancing around her room, trying to come up with something.”   
  
Eli blushed. “Shut up, don’t remind me…”   
  
Umi giggled next to her and Nozomi smiled at the sound. She was glad everyone seemed to be getting along much better now at least. It was obviously making Umi feel a lot more at ease too.    
  
“You wanted to make Honoka so happy.” Nozomi said with a warm smile as she remembered Eli’s eagerness. “It was cute.”   
  
She remembered being a little jealous at the time but mostly she’d just found it endearing that Eli cared for their leader so much.    
  
Eli nodded, a slight smile still tugging at her lips. She remembered that feeling well.    
  
“You did make her happy.” Kotori piped up, noticing Eli looked a bit more somber now. “The happiest she’s ever been, she told me. She really loved you.”   
  
“Yeah.” Eli smiled, looking down at her lap. “I know.”   
  
\-----   
  
“Kanan-chan say ah.” Chika said as she moved her food laden chopsticks to Kanan’s mouth.    
  
Ruby watched in slight awe as Kanan didn’t do much as blink before she opened her mouth, accepting the food. Chika and Kanan seemed so comfortable together, like they had been dating for years rather than months.    
  


“Um…” Ruby looked down at her own bento box, her face lighting up when she noticed the hamburg steak. You wouldn’t be able to resist that. She picked some up with her chopsticks and tentatively moved them toward you. “You-chan…”   
  
You turned to Ruby, surprised to see chopsticks so close to her face. She leaned in though, opening her mouth to take the bit of food.    
  
Ruby beamed at the lack of hesitation. It seemed that You was getting more comfortable with her now too, though she figured it might have something to do with the fact that the four of them were eating their lunch on the roof and nobody else was around. She kissed You’s lips briefly before turning back to her lunch, her cheeks slightly warm.    
  
She felt You move closer to her, an arm sliding around her shoulders and automatically leaned into her.    
  
“So You-chan…” Chika spoke up thoughtfully. “Why isn’t Dia-san trying to kill you anymore?”   
  
“Ah, we um...came to an agreement.” You said vaguely, remembering the quite graphic threats from the day after that agreement.    
  
“Onee-chan trusts You-chan.” Ruby said confidently, nodding her head against You’s shoulder.    
  
“You got off lucky.” Kanan snorted in amusement. “I really would have thought Dia would have killed you for taking her little sister’s virginity.”   
  
“You-chan hasn’t done that.” Ruby blurted out, blushing immediately after.    
  
Chika dropped her chopsticks back into her bento box and Kanan stared at You in surprise for a moment before she managed to speak. “STILL?!”   
  
“H-Hey, these things take time.” You said quickly, blushing.    
  
“But Ruby-chan took yours?” Chika asked in confusion, tilting her head. “So Ruby-chan just…”   
  
“Yes, okay?” You growled in response. “I don’t need anymore jokes about how I’m a bottom.”   
  
“But you’re such a cute…”   
  
“Not helping, Ruby-chan.” You sighed though her tone softened when she spoke to Ruby. She turned back to her smirking friends. “Hey! Y-You said it yourself, Dia-san would kill me if I did anything like that to Ruby.”   
  
Ruby comfortingly rubbed You’s knee. “I-I wouldn’t tell her. We could keep it a secret.”   
  
Kanan cringed. “I don’t want to hear the details.”   
  
You blushed, biting her lip and leaned in close, lowering her voice to whisper into Ruby’s ear. “S-So if I invited you over…”   
  
“Yes!” Ruby exclaimed enthusiastically.    
  
“Ruby, shh.” You couldn’t help but giggle at Ruby’s response. “Um...after school? We could hang out.”   
  
“B-By hang out you mean…”   
  
“Mmhm. I want to make you scream my name, Ruby-chan.” You’s voice lowered, growing huskier as she leaned closer to brush her lips against Ruby’s ear.    
  
Ruby blushed bright red. She wasn’t sure whether she should think of You as cute or hot anymore. “I-I’ll be there.”   
  
“I don’t want to know what you just said, do I?” Chika said with a roll of her eyes.    
  
“Nope.” You smirked, glad she’d managed to put a stop to Chika and Kanan’s inevitable teasing.    
  
“I bet you a thousand yen Ruby tops anyway.” Chika smirked, nudging Kanan who gave a sigh in response.    
  
“CHIKA-CHAN!” You exclaimed, her eyes widening.    
  
\----   
  
You glanced up at Ruby, sitting cross legged opposite her on the bed. She wasn’t sure what to do or say next. Her house was empty, save for the two of them and nobody would be coming home for a long while. Ruby had said that Dia would be busy with Mari too.    
  
“Um…” You hesitated. Ruby had been so much better at this than her. Everything Ruby did seemed confident and natural somehow, despite how shy the girl could be. “A-Are you sure about...what we talked about?”   
  
Ruby nodded solemnly. “I’m sure. I love You-chan.”   
  
You gave a small smile at that. “I love you too.” She moved, crawling over to Ruby and gently kissed her lips, her hand shakily sliding into the girl’s blouse. “This is okay, right?”   
  
Ruby kissed You back as answer, her arms going around her girlfriend’s neck to hold her close. Slowly, she lay back, tugging You down on top of her. Her breath hitched as You’s hand reached her chest and she gripped the girl tighter.    
  
“It’s okay.” Ruby whispered as You hesitantly drew back. “Take me, please.”   
  
You felt her face heat up a the request and she sat up, hurriedly taking off her shirt.    
  
Ruby bit her lip as her eyes took in the gentle ripple of abs and further down, the sight of You’s shorts, already unbuttoned and unzipped. She bit her lip, considering turning the tables and just focusing her attention on You.    
  
“T-Take everything off.” Ruby requested, looking up at You with a heated stare. “Please. I want to see you.”   
  
You nodded and got off of Ruby for a moment, stripping the rest of her clothes off before she returned to straddling her, making sure to leave her panties on.    
  
Ruby let her hands explore, moving up You’s strong thighs to her stomach. “You-chan is really really...sexy.” She muttered.    
  
You leaned down, crashing her lips against Ruby’s as she hurriedly unbuttoned the redhead’s blouse. She felt Ruby push up and leaned back at the same time as Ruby leaned up so that they were forced to break the kiss.    
  
She pushed the blouse off of Ruby’s shoulders, letting it pool on the bed behind her. Neither of them paid it much attention.   
  
Ruby gasped for breath as You trailed her lips down, going to her neck to suck and bite at it. “D-Don’t leave a mark, You-chan.” She reluctantly warned, wary of her sister’s wrath.    
  
You continued on her way down at Ruby’s urging, pausing to take the other girl’s bra off curious fingers cupping Ruby’s chest. Feeling a sudden pushing though she looked up at Ruby who was biting lip lip, hard.    
  
You took a breath and kissed Ruby again, her hand sliding under her girlfriend's skirt.    
  
\----   
  
Nico opened the door to her apartment only for Cocoa to barge right past her. “Cocoa, behave yourself!”   
  
Cocoro moved past too, into the apartment. “Cocoa!”   
  
“But we get to be with Nee-chan!” Cocoa exclaimed, turning back towards them with a wide smile.    
  
Nico stepped into the apartment, closing the door behind her. She glanced around, finding Hanayo sitting on the couch, turned toward them. “Ah, hey. Sorry about that.”   
  
“It’s fine.” Hanayo said with a small smile as she stood up from the couch. “Hi Cocoro-chan. Cocoa-chan.”   
  
“Hana-chan!” Cocoa bound over to Hanayo and jumped up, hugging her tightly.    
  
Cocoro sighed in exasperation. “Sorry about her. She just never listens to me…”   
  
“Well she is still in elementary school, unlike you, Miss first year middle schooler.” Nico teased playfully as she crossed the room toward them.    
  
Cocoro blushed. “I-I just started last April.”   
  
“Don’t you two have homework to do?” Nico asked, raising an eyebrow.    
  
“Aaaw but I don’t wanna.” Cocoa whined, pressing herself closer to Hanayo’s side.    
  
Nico sighed heavily. “What’s going to make you comply?”   
  
Cocoa smiled, her eyes brightening. “Do the catchphrase!”   
  
“Cocoa, please!”   
  
“Nico Nico Nii!” Cocoa imitated, her brown hair tickling Hanayo’s nose as she did the action.    
  
Hanayo smiled to herself. She had to admit the kid was cute.    
  
Cocoro sighed in disdain, clutching her messenger back close. “Cocoa…”   
  
“Please, Nee-chan?!”   
  
“Fine.” Nico took a deep breath. “Only if Hanayo does it with me.”   
  
“E-Eh?!”   
  
“You know it by heart.” Nico answered with a shrug. “Help me out here!”   
  
“I-I don’t know, I’ve always done it wrong though.” Hanayo said nervously.    
  
“No, you’ve done it way better than me.” Nico said, shaking her head. “Please?”   
  
“Fine, on three…” Hanayo took a deep breath to steel herself. “1...2...3...Nico Nico Nii!” She felt her cheeks flame with embarrassment as she spoke in unison with Nico but she supposed she didn’t have to worry about the kids judging her. Aside from maybe Cocoro who looked like she’d rather be doing her homework. “Ah, there…”   
  
“Now will you do your homework?” Nico said warily, turning to Cocoa. “Please?”   
  
Cocoa nodded in response. “Nee-chan, will you help me with math?”   
  
“Of course.” Nico answered with a nod of her head. 

 

Cocoro rolled her eyes and left the three of them to walk into the kitchen, deciding to sit at the table and do her homework. She faltered though, noticing someone else was already in the room. “U-Um…”   
  
Raven turned around at the sound of Cocoro’s voice, his eyes widening at the sight of her. “Oh, um...you must be Nico’s sister.”   
  
Cocoro nodded her head. “A-Are you Onee-chan’s friend?”   
  
“Yes. My name’s Raven.” Raven answered with a nod of his head. He wasn’t sure friends quite covered what they were but he knew better than to bring something so confusing up to a twelve year old.    
  
“She needs more friends.” Cocoro said decisively, taking her bag off. She placed it neatly down, leaning against the table leg. “She always puts us before herself. It’s why I didn’t want to come over. But someone had to watch Cocoa. She’s such a troublesome kid. Only Onee-chan can calm her down. Her or Hanayo-san. Rin-san makes her even more excited!”   
  
Raven coughed to cover a laugh. He could definitely see that being the case.    
  
“So um...do you live here with Onee-chan and Hanayo-san?” Cocoro guessed, sitting down at the table. “Are you Hanayo-san’s friend too?”   
  
“Um…” Raven hesitated, not sure how to answer that question. “Yes. Well I’m Hanayo’s boyfriend but um…”   
  
“Oh!” Cocoro said in realization. She looked confused right after though. “I thought she and Onee-chan had something. They always seemed to look at each other when the other wasn’t looking. Like some of my friends with the boys they like. Hanayo-san makes Onee-chan really happy. She once ranted about how cute Hanayo-san was when she wore Onee-chan’s training clothes. I didn’t really understand it all at first but after Rin-san explained it...Hanayo-san really knows all of Onee-chan’s quirks. So they must have something, right?”   
  
“Wait, she did what?!” Raven exclaimed, recalling a part of what Cocoro had said.    
  
“Oh, it was a Muse experiment.” Cocoro explained. “Hanayo-san ended up wearing Onee-chan’s clothes and she couldn’t shut up about it.”   
  
Raven sat down at the table. “Wow, so you think she liked her?”   
  
“It was obvious. Onee-chan is a tsundere.” Cocoro said through laughter. After a moment it died down and she looked down at her books. “She should be honest with herself. It’s hard for her, even with Mama. She doesn’t cry often, only when everything gets too much for her.”   
  
Raven stared at Cocoro in surprise. He remembered the first time Nico had cried in front of him, when she was thinking about her dad. The second time had been because of Honoka. Those were the only times and even then she’d hidden it from his view.    
  
“Don’t worry, whatever Nico is to Hanayo…they love each other a lot.” Raven said, trying to be as careful as possible about what he said. “Those two are always going to be together. Nico will always have someone as long as she has Hanayo.”   
  
“Onee-chan needs a lover. She gives away too much in my opinion.”    
  
“Um…” Raven didn’t know what to say to that. “Ah crap, well you know um...when I said boyfriend I just meant friend, you know? I’m a boy and I’m her friend. So uh...boyfriend. Do you wanna know a secret?” He leaned over the table slightly and watched Cocoro’s eyes widen as she did the same. “Now...I don’t know if your Onee-chan wanted me to tell you this but...she has been dating Hanayo for a little while now.”   
  
“I knew it!”    
  
“Shh!” Raven exclaimed to keep up the charade. “Just don’t tell anyone else, okay? It’s a secret.”   
  
“Even Onee-chan?”   
  
“Well...yeah, you can tell her.” Raven frowned slightly in confusion. “And Hanayo. But that’s all.”   
  
“Onee-chan is a baka for keeping this from me!” Cocoro pouted, leaning back in her seat. She crossed her arms in front of her chest.    
  
Raven smiled warmly. “You really care about her, huh?”   
  
“Well someone has to! Onee-chan overworks herself so someone has to take the load off her. She cooks, she cleans, she reads bedtime stories...She’s super Onee-chan.”   
  
“She really did all of that when you were young? Man, I couldn’t even cook before she came…” Raven mused in surprise.    
  
Cocoro frowned. “Well it wasn’t her choice.”   
  
“Right, sorry. I’ll leave you to your homework but call for me if you need anything.” Raven said quietly. He stood and left the room, entering the living room to see both Hanayo and Nico helping Cocoa with her homework. The young girl was sitting in Hanayo’s lap on the floor.    
  
Nico on the other hand was lying on her side, her hand on her cheek as she watched Hanayo try to help Cocoa understand the equation she was working on.    
  
“Wait so I count by fours?” Cocoa asked in confusion.   
  
“Mmhm.” Hanayo nodded in response. “So what’s four times nine? You could use the shortcut by counting nines.”   
  
“Um...nine...eighteen…” Cocoa counted on her hands, her brow furrowed in concentration. “Twenty...seven. Um...and thirty six?” She looked to Hanayo for approval.   
  
“That’s right.” Hanayo beamed proudly, patting the child’s head.    
  
Nico snorted in disbelief. “And you told me you were bad with kids. Cocoa loves you.”   
  
“Shh, we’re trying to concentrate.” Hanayo said, without looking up.    
  
“Are you two going to kiss like a mommy and daddy?” Cocoa asked innocently.    
  
“Cocoa!” Nico exclaimed.    
  
Hanayo smirked. “Well I wouldn’t mind one peck. But I can’t exactly move.”   
  
Nico rolled her eyes in response and sat up on her knees. She leaned over and pecked Hanayo on the lips, her face turning red.    
  
“Yay!” Cocoa exclaimed brightly. “Nee-chan liked it so…”   
  
“Do your homework.” Nico interrupted before her sister could get much further.    
  
“No fun.” Cocoa pouted.    
  
“Don’t worry, we’ll have fun after we finish this.” Hanayo lowered her voice to a whisper.    
  
Nico huffed. “You’re spoiling her.”   
  
“Don’t care.” Hanayo stuck her tongue out.    
  
“Yeah, we don’t care.” Cocoa imitated Hanayo, sticking her tongue out too.    
  
“I’ll start making dinner.” Nico said, getting to her feet. “When I come back you two better still be working.”   
  
“No promises.” Hanayo answered.    
  
“Yeah, no promises!” Cocoa joined in, sounding smug.    
  
Nico walked into the kitchen, flashing Raven a smile on the way past.    
  
“They both look so much like her.” Raven mused when he was left alone with Hanayo and Cocoa.    
  
“Cocoa is still the cutest, right Cocoa?” Hanayo smiled at the girl sitting in her lap.    
  
“Uh-huh!” Cocoa nodded vehemently in response.    
  
Raven paced further into the room. “Nico is right, you are good with her.”   
  
“Well she’s my favourite.” Hanayo said with a shrug of her shoulders.    
  
“Why?”   
  
Hanayo thought about that for a moment before she answered. “She’s a ball of sunshine, just like her Onee-chan, of course!”   
  
Cocoa nodded sincerely and looked up at Raven. “And Hana-chan’s my favourite because she makes Nee-chan happy and she always helped me with homework when she used to visit with Rin-chan!”   
  
Raven chuckled at the remark and met Hanayo’s eyes. “She is pretty incredible, I’ll give you that.”   
  
Hanayo blushed at the comment but she was quickly distracted by Cocoa pushing her homework away and leaning into her, muttering that she was tried. Within a few seconds the girl was asleep.    
  
“She must have been exhausted.” Hanayo said thoughtfully, glancing down at Cocoa. “She’s adorable when she sleeps. She has her father’s hair, that’s what Nico-chan told me. Sometimes I see her, feeling insecure about it but Nico always told her she has special hair for a reason. Because she’s daddy’s little girl, just like her.”   
  
Raven bit the inside of his cheek.    
  
“Raven, do I...do I really make Nico-chan happy? Even after everything?” Hanayo asked in a small tone of voice.    
  
Raven was silent for a moment before he spoke up. “Does she make you happy?”   
  
Hanayo nodded. “Just as much as you do.”   
  
Raven smiled at that. “I know you make her happy. She smiles every time she speaks about you. Every time she hears your voice or your key in the door. You make her happier than you think.”   
  
Hanayo smiled softly. “She was my first crush, love...and partner. She’s really special to me. Her smile is what captivated me.”   
  
“I know.” Raven said softly, touching her shoulder. He gave a gentle squeeze before getting to his feet. “I’m going to help Nico make dinner. Will you be okay?”   
  
“Yeah.” Hanayo smiled at him. She watched him leave before letting her smile fade slightly. She hugged Cocoa close to her. “I promise you, your sister will be happy in the better future…”   
  
She needed to get in touch with Chika, as soon as she could.    
  
\----   
  
Nozomi crossed to the front door, tugging it open. Hanayo had said that she would be coming by because she needed to talk about something with her. She hadn’t said what though Nozomi couldn’t imagine it would be any bigger than what she had yet to tell Hanayo and the rest of Muse. She wasn’t sure how they would react to the news that she was going to try to speak to Honoka.    
  
“Hey. Come in.” Nozomi said when she found Hanayo standing nervously in front of the door. “You could have used the spare key, you know. Kotori-chan said it’s fine.”   
  
“Um...I don’t want them to know I’m here.” Hanayo said, her voice soft as she stepped inside.    
  
“Too late.”   
  
Hanayo’s eyes shot toward where the sound had come from and she cursed at the sight of Maki sitting on the couch. “Um...is anyone else home? M-Maybe we could talk in your room, Nozomi-chan…”   
  
Nozomi narrowed her eyes suspiciously. “Okay, what’s wrong with you…?”   
  
“I can’t let Rin-chan hear this.” Hanayo anxiously wrung her hands together, her eyes darting around the room. “She would pretty much hate me for it, I’m sure. Um...please can we talk somewhere else?”   
  
“Only if I can come.” Maki said, standing up from the couch. “Umi-chan is in the bedroom right now. We can use my office.” She noticed Hanayo frown and continued. “Come on, I know something’s wrong now. You have to let me hear what it is or I’ll just think the worst, right?”   
  
“Fine.” Hanayo sighed, nodding for Maki to go ahead. She followed Maki alongside Nozomi into the girl’s office. She heard Nozomi close the door behind her and looked at Maki’s desk. “Do you have any cigarettes?”   
  
“What?” Maki raised her eyebrows in surprise. “No, I threw them all out.”   
  
“Ah, I should have one on me…” Hanayo scoured her pockets before finally emerging with a crumbled cigarette box.    
  
Nozomi watched as Hanayo took a cigarette out with shaking hands, placing it between her lips and lighting it. “Okay this must be serious if you’re actually doing that…”   
  
“I do it a lot.” Hanayo let out a breath of smoke. “Thanks to you.”   
  
“Huh?!”   
  
“Not literally...really.” Hanayo said, looking down at the floor. “I started in high school, because I...well for a lot of reasons. Because I was jealous of you for a start…”   
  
Maki stared at Hanayo for a moment before she groaned in exasperation. “I knew you couldn’t handle being with both of them. You’re head over heels for her.”   
  
“Shut up, I know!” Hanayo snapped. She turned back to Nozomi and continued. “You know Nico-chan was as dense as Honoka-chan back then. Except her obvious crush on you. Why do you think she was constantly worried about you?”   
  
“Oh man, don’t tell me….” Nozomi smacked the heel of her hand against her forehead. Of course she would be in this mess. She somehow always ended up in a triangle. “I didn’t know. So what do you want?”   
  
“Chika-chan’s number.”   
  
“What, why?!”   
  
“Isn’t it obvious? I want her to tell my shy self in the past to make a damn move and stop watching Nico-chan from afar. I want to change the past so that Nico-chan isn’t alone.” Hanayo answered with a frown. “Before you say anything, I know what it means. I know I won’t end up with...with Raven and I accept that. I’ve made my choice. I want Nico-chan. I would give everything up to be with her.”   
  
“You really fucking love her.” Maki mumbled, grimacing at the thought of the messy situation. “If you had the choice...who could you see yourself marrying?”   
  
Hanayo bowed her head. “Yazawa Nico. I could only imagine it with her. I’m serious, Nozomi. I need to make this right.”   
  
“Fine, I’ll send you her number.” Nozomi said reluctantly. She knew there was nothing she could do to stop Hanayo when the girl had made up her mind already.    
  
“You realize that it might not make a difference though, don’t you?” Maki asked, causing Nozomi to freeze. “Chika isn’t exactly trustworthy even at the best of times. She might not do what you ask her to.”   
  
“She’s trying, Maki-chan.” Nozomi said softly, feeling a little defensive of Chika. “She’s going out of her way to prepare for this. And do remember she’ll be letting Honoka use her body to speak to us.”   
  
“I’m just saying, I wouldn’t put my future with Kotori in her hands.” Maki scowled at the thought alone. “She’s a brat.”   
  
“Some of us don’t have a choice.” Nozomi replied, her voice tinged with irritation. “If we want Honoka-chan back, I have to take the risk. So does Umi-chan. And Hanayo-chan.”   
  
“Right.” Maki bit her lip, a bit taken aback by Nozomi’s answer. “Right, I’m sorry.”   
  
Hanayo looked down at the number as it popped up on her screen. She would have to call Chika when she was walking back home later. She wasn’t going to just cry in the background this time, even if she risked everything.    
  
“You said Rin would be angry.” Maki said in confusion, looking at Hanayo. “Why would she be?”   
  
“Because she’s too innocent.” Hanayo explained simply. “She really likes Raven.”   
  
“Kotori’s pretty fond of him too.” Maki said with a roll of her eyes, remembering the friendship the two had struck up. “Maybe don’t tell her you were leading him on either.”   
  
“I wasn-” Hanayo cut herself off, gritting her teeth. “Forget it. All that matters is that I have what I need now. It’s not going to be an issue anymore.”   
  
Maki didn’t say anything in response. She supposed she was lucky in the sense that she didn’t have to deal with those kinds of issues. She knew without having to think about it that she could never be with anyone but Kotori. She wouldn’t even try. She walked around the desk, sitting down in her chair and leaned back.    
  
Nozomi cleared her throat awkwardly. “Chika-chan, will...agree to what you ask. Just make sure she knows what to say to your past self. Umi-chan won’t need more than a nudge to come to me but it could be harder with you.”   
  
Hanayo nodded in response and slipped her phone into her pocket.  “Thank you. For giving me this. I know you don’t understand…” She focused on Maki who was watching her closely. “Or you won’t. But I’m not trying to hurt anyone. I just need to be with Nico-chan. You know what it’s like to like...even love two people, right Maki-chan?”   
  
Maki narrowed her eyes. “What are you talking about?”   
  
“You loved Honoka-chan once, didn’t you?” Hanayo asked, remembering one of the few conversations she’d had with Maki after Honoka had died. “You dated her before she got sick and when she was sick you took care of her. But you love Kotori-chan the most, don’t you?”   
  
Maki nodded in response. “Fine, I get your point.”   
  
“Good.” Hanayo glanced at Nozomi who hadn’t said anything for a few minutes. “I-I think you and Umi-chan will be fine. You two are meant to be together, it’s obvious.”   
  
“Thanks, Hanayo-chan.” Nozomi hugged Hanayo, hoping the girl knew what she was doing. “All you need to tell Chika-chan is that she needs to push you into Nicocchi’s arms. Literally.”   
  
“Huh?”   
  
“You’re right, Nicocchi is dense. Maybe even denser than Honoka-chan and Elichi.” Nozomi explained without drawing away. “But she always had a soft spot for you. She really liked you wearing her clothes that one time, remember? Couldn’t shut up about it. I think it’ll be easier for you to get her to melt her walls. All you have to do is call her cute and give her that cute little giggle and she’ll be yours soon enough.”   
  
Hanayo hugged Nozomi back, tightly. “Thank you, Nozomi.”   
  
\-----   
  
Hanayo wearily slid off her shoes and hung up her coat before she made her way to the living room. The TV was on, was the first thing she noticed, followed immediately by the realization that everyone in the room had dozed off. Cocoa’s head was in Nico’s lap as she slept, Cocoro leaning into Nico’s side. Nico herself was asleep too, one hand resting on Cocoa’s head while the other rested on Yukiho’s, who was sitting in front of her. Raven and Itsuki sat together, both having dozed off, her with her head on his arm.    
  
Hanayo’s gaze lingered on Nico for a long moment. She couldn’t get it out of her head that the person she wanted a future with and a real family with was Nico. She went to Nico and leaned down, gently crouching to pick Cocoa up. The girl stirred but didn’t wake, unconsciously curling toward Hanayo’s chest.    
  
Nico on the other hand, blinked groggily as she woke. “You okay?” She mumbled, noticing Hanayo.    
  
“Yeah, just want to get Cocoa to bed.” Hanayo answered softly so as not to wake anyone.    
  
“She’s not a baby.”   
  
“True but she’s a mini you.” Hanayo pointed out with a soft smile.    
  
Nico tilted her head toward Cocoro. “So is this one.”   
  
“True but I prefer the smaller one.”    
  
Nico stared up at Hanayo for a moment. “So you’re going to make me carry the bigger one.”   
  
“Why don’t you just ask Raven to pick her up?”   
  
“Whoa.” Nico blinked up at Hanayo. “Where did that come from?”   
  
Hanayo shook her head. “Nothing, I’m just teasing you.”   
  
“Jeez, would you stop?” Nico huffed out a sigh. She was silent for a moment, the two merely staring at each other. “Why didn’t you come with me to Paris when I asked?”   
  
“I had a life here.” Hanayo frowned at the sudden question.    
  
“We could go now and take the girls.” Nico suggested hopefully.    
  
“What? And leave everything else behind? Honoka-chan, Raven, our responsibilities?” Hanayo shook her head. They couldn’t go even if they wanted to. “I’m sorry, I’m just tired. It’s been a long day.”   
  
“Hanayo, I love you.” Nico said bluntly.    
  
Hanayo allowed a small smile to tug at her lips. “I love you too. And Raven.”   
  
She watched as Nico frowned slightly but she didn’t think anything of it. She looked down at the girl in her arms. “Let’s get them to bed.”   
  
“Right…” Nico murmured, slowly getting to her feet. The movement stirred Cocoro who blinked up at her. “Come on, you need to go to bed.”   
  
Cocoro hummed in response and got up, following Nico and Hanayo to Yukiho’s bedroom. She climbed into the bed and watched Hanayo gently lay Cocoa down. “Night Onee-chan. Hanayo-san…”   
  
“Goodnight.” Hanay whispered in unison with Nico. She looked toward the dark haired girl. “Um...I’m gonna wake Raven, Yukiho and Itsuki. I guess Yukiho and Itsuki will need a futon too.”   
  
“I’ll get it out.” Nico offered.    
  
“Thanks.” Hanayo said with a small smile before she turned and walked out of the door.    
  
TBC   



	29. Chapter 29

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter of ANITW, I hope you guys enjoy!
> 
> Warning(s): Violence, sexual scenes, angst, SELF-INJURY, swearing and…hetero romance?
> 
> Leading off of that, just a note to mention that there are some het scenes in here (not sex, NEVER sex) but like intense making out etc so if you want to skip those, that’s fine. Just skip the Hanayo scenes and the Nico scenes. 
> 
> Again, skip the Hanayo scenes and Nico scenes if you want to skip the het stuff. 
> 
> Also this is going to be a little more dragged out than planned because well...things always don't go as planned so yeah.

Nico was relieved to find Raven sitting in the living room, alone. She had been trying to get a moment alone with him for most of the day but with Cocoa and Cocoro being over again she hadn’t managed to get a minute.    
  
“Can I talk to you?” Nico asked warily as she moved over to him. Cocoro and Cotaro were sleeping in her bedroom, Hanayo watching over them while she studied.    
  
“Sure, what about?” Raven glanced up at her, setting aside his phone. “You okay?”   
  
“Yeah, um…” Nico hesitated as she stopped in front of him. “I-I was just thinking that maybe it would be better if we just stayed friends. I mean um...I know I’m attracted to you, it’s just after what happened...you know, the um...sex. Which was good so don’t worry but um...I just think Hanayo is pushing this thing too hard, don’t you?”   
  
Raven breathed a sigh of relief. “You read my mind…”   
  
“Really?” Nico’s eyes widened in relief. “Good, I’m not the only one thinking this way.”   
  
Raven offered a weak smile in response. “I spoke to Cocoro some more earlier. She reminds me of you a lot…”

  
Nico winced. “I never want her to be like me. I want her to be a kid, not take my mantle.”   
  
Raven nodded in understanding. “I told her you were dating Hanayo and that her and I and you and I were just friends.”   
  
“What?” Nico looked up sharply, her eyes wide. “I-I’m so sorry, I…”   
  
“It’s fine. Something about you two together..” Raven trailed off, thinking to himself. “I don’t know, both of you act more natural together. When I saw you with your other sister, Cocoa and Hanayo...you two really did act like a mom and dad. Or a mom and mom. Plus, Hanayo loves the kid because she’s like you.”   
  
Nico nodded, a slight smile tugging at her lips. “Those two love to copy me too much.”   
  
“Well the younger ones always follow the big ones. It was the same with me and Hisa and I guess me and Itsuki.” Raven said softly. “If it makes you feel better I think it’s one of the things Hanayo loves about you, that you…” He trailed off, his breath catching in his throat as he noticed tears in Nico’s eyes. “Nico?”   
  
“Shit, I-I don’t deserve her.” Nico growled, her hands closing into fists. Neither she nor Raven noticed Hanayo walk out of the bedroom only to pause just outside of the doorway. “I just..I don’t want to be alone anymore. I’ve been alone since I was twelve. And I know this is just a fucking sob story. I thought it ended when Honoka found me, but then that was RIPPED APART. I had Rin and Hanayo yet I kept pushing them, going for my career..If I had another choice I would have fucking dropped everything. But my family...Cocoro, Cotaro and Cocoa always came before my happiness. I’m so fucking tired. I don’t want be alone!” She took a shuddering breath, tears sliding down her cheeks relentlessly. “I want to be with Hanayo. I want to marry her. I want to have children with her. I just want to be loved.”   
  
Raven stared at her in shock. He got to his feet but he didn’t know what to do. All he could do was stand there as Nico seemed to break in front of him, her hands clutching her chest as she dissolved into sobs.    
  
“Nee-chan!” Hanayo felt herself jolt forward as Cocoa and Cocoro rushed past her. They reached Nico at the same time, throwing their arms around her neck.    
  
“Nee-chan, don’t cry!” Cocoa exclaimed, close to tears herself. It only caused Nico to cry harder.    
  
“O-Onee chan, please don’t cry.” Cocoro pleaded, at a loss for what to do.    
  
Hanayo was frozen in place. Nico was crying as hard as she had when Muse disbanded, even as hard as she had after Honoka’s funeral.   
  
Raven’s hands shook at his sides, his chest tight as he watched her. He stepped forward, resting his hand atop her head. She looked up at him, her eyes blurred with tears.    
  
“It’s okay.” Raven said softly, noticing the pain in her eyes. “You’re gonna be okay, Nico.”   
  
Nico took a shuddering breath, struggling to comprehend his words. “B-But…”   
  
“You two really are made for each other.” Raven said quietly. “You’re right, this isn’t working.”   
  
Without another word he turned and walked away only to pause at the sight of Hanayo standing there with tears in her eyes. “Go on. Go to her. I’m going out.”   
  
“Nii-san.” Itsuki appeared suddenly at his side, clutching his hand to keep him from going anywhere. “I-I’ll go with you!”   
  
“It’s okay, Itsuki. I’ll be back.” Raven said without looking toward her. “Stay with Yukiho please.”   
  
“B-But you’re…” Itsuki felt tears well in her own eyes at seeing Raven so upset.    
  
“I’m okay.” Raven pulled away and left the apartment quickly.    
  
Hanayo stared at Nico, pained to see her girlfriend so upset. This was her fault. She had been selfish and now she’d hurt both Nico and Raven. On shaky legs she went to the three siblings and crouched down next to them, wrapping her arms tightly around all three.    
  
Drawing back after a moment, she pressed her forehead to Nico’s. “I promise you everything will be better. I believe, like Nozomi-chan. Chika-chan can fix our future. She can bring Honoka-chan back, Nico-chan. I know how you feel. She touched everyone, including you. You don’t have to keep it inside, just let it out. Stop hiding your feelings. I’m here.”   
  
Nico let out a heartbreaking sob, similar to the one she had let out when Muse had disbanded. Hearing it, Hanayo felt her heart break and she clutched Nico tighter, hearing the kids break into their own sobs.    
  
\----   
  
Hanayo paused on her way to the kitchen as she noticed a silhouette of someone sitting in the dark. Nico was asleep in the bedroom, thankfully. She made out the person as Raven and felt her heart plummet. She was about to say something when he lifted his illuminated phone to his ear.    
  
Raven listened to the dial tone, his heart thumping frantically against his chest.    
  
“Ugh, you better have a good reason for calling me at two in the damn morning!” Hisa’s voice sounded grouchy as she answered the phone.    
  
Raven found himself lost for words for a moment, a lump forming in his throat.    
  
“Raven?”   
  
“Y-Yeah, I’m here.” Raven leaned forward and rested his elbow against his knee, his head falling to his hands. “Sorry, I just wanted to talk to you about...about things.”   
  
“About things? You shouldn’t be calling me to talk to me about  _ things _ at two in the morning, I was sleeping!”   
  
Raven let out a laugh, clogged with emotion. “Y-Yeah, I guess.”   
  
“Hey, are you...are you crying?!”   
  
“No!” Raven exclaimed hurriedly. He quickly wiped his damp eyes. “Jeez, Onee-chan.”   
  
“Liar.” Hisa accused, her tone softening. “Is Itsuki okay? Nothing’s happened to her, right?!”   
  
“Y-Yeah, she’s fine. Um...it’s not about that.” Raven answered. He sniffled and sat up straighter, trying to pull himself together. “You remember how you said this thing with Hanayo wouldn’t work out?”   
  
“Yeah…”   
  
“It...it didn’t work out.” Raven’s voice cracked despite his best efforts and he cursed himself. “Can I stay with you for a while?”   
  
“I’ll come and get you tomorrow.” Hisa answered without hesitation. “Or...now? I can be there in six hours.”   
  
“Don’t speed at night for me. I’m still a cop.” Raven leaned back against the back of the couch, feeling a little more at ease. “And you don’t have to…”   
  
“I’ll be there in the morning. I’ll leave now.” Hisa interrupted bluntly. “No speeding, I promise.”   
  
Raven heard the sound of rustling followed by Hisa’s voice.    
  
“So what broke it up?”   
  
“Nico. The realization that she may love Hanayo more than we both thought. It was a mess from the beginning.” Raven said honestly. “But we wanted to make her happy. We tried so hard but it just didn’t feel right.”   
  
Hisa growled low in her throat. “I’m gonna knock Hanayo’s damn…”   
  
“Please don’t.” Raven interrupted, hearing the jingle of keys on the other side of the phone. “I don’t want that. I knew from the beginning of our relationship that she was in love with someone else. I just never thought it was a group member. But...go easy on them. Please.”   
  
“Why the hell should I?!”   
  
“Because they already went through hell losing their leader and friend…”   
  
“Fine, fine.” Hisa sighed loudly. “Get your stuff together. And Itsuki’s.”   
  
“Right. Try not to drive like a crazy person.”   
  
Hisa gave a short laugh. “No promises.”   
  
Raven heard the sound of a car door being shut. “See you soon, Onee-chan…”   
  
“Yeah, see you soon…”   
  
Raven hung up, letting the phone fall to his side.    
  
Unseen, Hanayo slipped back into the bedroom and leaned back against the door, pressing her hand to her mouth as tears slid down her cheeks.    
  
\----   
  
Nico stared numbly at the omelette she was rolling in the frying pan in front of her, chopsticks held loosely in her hand. She was dressed for work but she wasn’t sure how she was going to motivate herself to leave the apartment.    
  
Hanayo was nearby, making coffee while Raven stood leaning against the counter, reading the newspaper.    
  
Cocoa looked up from her food, preparing to speak but Cocoro shook her head from where she was sitting opposite her. “Finish your food.”   
  
“But Nee-chan is still sad…”   
  
“Cocoa.” Cocoro warned seriously.    
  
“Sorry…”   
  
Yukiho bit her lip, lightly rubbing Itsuki’s back. It had been a rough night for the girl. She’d ended up with Itsuki crying in her arms. It had reminded her of Eli and Arisa and how they’d done the same on so many occasions. She was used to being a comfort for people.   
  
A knock sounded at the door and Yukiho, who was closest went to answer it. After a few minutes she returned with a redhead behind her.    
  
Hisa growled at the sight of Hanayo. “YOU. You little…” She paused, noticing the children at the table. “You’re so lucky they’re here.”   
  
Hanayo nodded, bowing her head.    
  
“Onee-chan!” Itsuki darted to Hisa’s side, hugging her tightly.    
  
Hisa returned the embrace, glaring between Hanayo and Nico before she turned to Raven. “Do you have everything, Raven? Itsuki…?”   
  
“Mmhm!” Itsuki answered while Raven nodded his head in silence.    
  
Hisa paced over to him, leaning up to hug him. “You okay?” She asked, lowering her voice.    
  
Raven shook his head in response, hugging her back.    
  
Nico turned away, feeling sick with guilt. She’d done this. It was her fault. Her eyes prickled with tears and she tried to wipe them away only for Cocoro to get up and hug her.    
  
Feeling a little left out and noticing Hanayo’s discomfort, Cocoa moved to the older girl’s side, hugging her around the waist.    
  
Hisa drew away from Raven and noticing the pained look on his face, patted his shoulder. “Get your things.” She turned to Hanayo, gritting her teeth. If it was up to her she wouldn’t be holding back her anger.    
  
“Stop glaring at Hana-chan!” Cocoa exclaimed, gripping Hanayo tighter.   
  
“It’s okay, Cocoa.” Hanayo said softly, placing her hand atop Cocoa’s head.    
  
Hisa raised an eyebrow. “Whose kid is that?”   
  
“She’s my sister. She’s nine.” Nico glared at Hisa in annoyance.    
  
“Jeez, how old was your mom when she had you?”   
  
“That’s none of your business!” Nico snapped angrily. She watching Hisa roll her eyes and began to stop forward only to be stopped by Cocoro pulling her back. “Cocoro, Cocoa, go back to Yukiho’s room.”   
  
“Onee-cha-”   
  
“Now.”   
  
The two young girls nodded and went to the room, closing the door behind them.    
  
“Oh?” Hisa raised an eyebrow as Nico glared at her. “Do you really want to start something with me,  _ Nico-chan _ ?”   
  
“No, I just don’t want my sisters to see me get punched. Though I deserve it.” Nico answered with a shrug of her shoulders.    
  
“Nico-chan!” Hanayo’s eyes widened while Yukiho stepped forward, warily.    
  
“Hisa.” Raven said softly, not looking at either Nico or Hanayo. “Leave them alone. You promised.”   
  
“Are you stupid?!” Nico blurted out angrily. “I stole your damn girlfriend.”   
  
Hisa shot forward, intending to hit the girl but she was stopped by Raven stepping in front of her. “Come on, are you kidding?!”   
  
“I don’t want anyone to fight. Or get hurt.”    
  
Nico growled low in her throat. “Why do you have to be so damn nice?! Just let her do what she wants.”   
  
“Yeah, just let me do what I want.” Hisa growled back, her hands clenched at her sides.    
  
“Hurting you isn’t going to fix any of this.” Raven answered without turning to look at Nico. “You need to work on your anger, Onee-chan. Help me with my bags.”   
  
“Why do you need help with your bags?” Hisa scowled, itching to be left alone with the two.    
  
“Because I do.” Raven pressed a bag into her hand.    
  
Yukiho looked to Nico and Hanayo and nodded at them. “Um...Raven?” She stepped forward, her heart in her throat as he turned to look at her. “C-Can I come with you?”   
  
Raven blinked at her in shock while everyone else froze. “Um...why?”   
  
“I-I know it’s rude to ask. We’ve only known each other for a week. But I don’t want to be a burden to Nico-san.” Yukiho exclaimed hopefully. After what she’d seen last night she knew that Nico didn’t need any more pressure. “Please! I won’t be any trouble and I’ll pay rent and…”   
  
“You won’t pay rent. It’s against the rules.” Raven sighed, looking toward Hisa. She shrugged her shoulders. “Alright. What about your stuff?”   
  
“Um...I’ll get it later.” Yukiho answered hesitantly. “Most of my stuff is still at my own apartment anyway so I’ll pick some up from there.”   
  
“Okay. Um…” Raven cleared his throat. “Bye Hanayo. Nico.”   
  
Yukiho shot the two a regretful look. “I’m sorry. Thank you for all of your help. It meant a lot to me.”   
  
Nico couldn’t say anything. As he left her knees gave out and she slid to the floor. “I-I feel sick, I’m going to tell Kei I just can’t today. I’ll take my sisters to school…”   
  
“No, go to bed. I’ll do it.” Hanayo said softly, crouching down next to Nico. She placed a gentle hand on her shoulder. “You need to relax.”   
  
“I need a coffin…”   
  
Hanayo’s eyes went wide with shock before her expression changed to anger and fear. “Don’t you fucking joke about that, Nico-chan.”   
  
“Sorry, I just...I-I just can’t do this. We just destroyed a guy’s life and…” Nico shook her head, unable to comprehend it. “What the hell is wrong with me?! What...what would Honoka think of me right now?”   
  
Tears slid down her face and her breathing quickened. She leaned down, burying her head in her arms.    
  
Hanayo’s eyes widened as she recognized the signs of a panic attack. Umi used to have those frequently in her last year of high school. “Nico-chan, calm down. Breath. Breathe with me. Your sisters are in the other room. Don’t pass out. Take deep breaths. Breaths, Nico-chan.” She stood up, looking around until she spotted a paper bag. She hesitated before reaching into her pocket, quickly calling Maki.    
  
“Maki-chan!” She exclaimed when Maki answer. “N-Nico-chan is having a panic attack, what do I do?! I-I have a paper bag and...”   
  
“Don’t give that to her.” Maki interrupted firmly. “You could cause hypoxia. Shit, is she breathing okay? Just try to calm her down. I’ll be there. Kotori, where is my med stuff? Ah crap, I’ll have to go through Eli. Shit!”   
  
“Eli-chan...she’ll kill me.” Hanayo mumbled, her hand hovering just above Nico.    
  
“Yeah, I know. You just caused one of her closest friends to have a panic attack, good job!” Maki snapped irritably. “You better hope Nico’s okay or…”   
  
“Just get over here!” Hanayo exclaimed desperately. “I-I don’t know what to do! She’s...Nico-chan, what are you doing?! W-Where are you going…?”   
  
“Hanayo-chan, what’s wrong with Nicocchi?!” Nozomi’s voice sounded suddenly on the other end of the line. “Is she okay?!”   
  
“I-I…” Hanayo stood up as Nico pulled the front door open. “W-Wait, where are you going!?”   
  
“Is she running?!” Nozomi asked knowingly. “You need to catch her, Hanayo-chan. HURRY!”   
  
Hanayo rushed after Nico, leaving the door unlocked and rushed down the flight of stairs. She saw Nico run out of the apartment block door and took off after her as quickly as she could. “Nico-chan, wait…” She gasped as Nico tried to cross the street, not seeing the car approaching her. “NICO-CHAN!”   
  
The phone fell from Hanayo’s hand as the car ran right into Nico, sending her flying forward a few feet. Hanayo screamed, her hands going to her mouth.    
  
\-----   
  
“What the hell did you do?!” Nozomi growled, struggling against the tight grip Eli and Umi had on her arms. “What happened to her? Did you say something? Nicocchi wouldn’t just run out like that unless you did something to upset her!”   
  
Hanayo stared numbly at Nozomi. She looked emotionless now but it was clear that she had been crying earlier.    
  
“ANSWER ME!”   
  
“Nozomi, stop it!” Eli exclaimed, moving in front of Nozomi. She gripped her by the shoulders. “Stop it, you’re scaring the kids!”   
  
Nozomi glanced to the left where Rin was sitting with Cocoro and Cocoa. Cocoro was clearly panicking, sobbing into Rin’s shoulder while Cocoa just looked confused and worried. She was sitting in Rin’s lap, her head resting on the girl’s chest while Rin held tightly to Emily’s hand.    
  
Raven sat in the seat behind them with Hisa, Yukiho and Arisa. He looked stoic but his leg was shaking anxiously.    
  
Kotori and Maki were nowhere in sight.    
  
Rin gritted her teeth as she watched Eli tried to reason with them. She felt furious but she didn’t know who exactly she was angry with. Maybe all of them. She couldn’t say anything though, not while she was looking after Nico’s siblings.    
  
“Where the hell is Maki…?” Nozomi fumed though Eli’s words had seemed to have calmed her.    
  
“Smoking like a chimney.” Hanayo muttering, remembering Maki saying that she was leaving to smoke. Kotori had left with her.    
  
Nozomi glared at Hanayo. “You have to be able to tell us something. What did the paramedics say? Was it bad? Was there a lot of blood?”   
  
“She hurt her leg, it was...bleeding a lot.” Hanayo mumbled, not even looking at Nozomi. “Um...her head was too. Bleeding…”   
  
Nozomi was about to press Hanayo for more answers when she heard a commotion from the doors. She turned to see Nico’s mom and another woman walk into the hospital, Cotaro on the back of the woman Nozomi didn’t recognize.    
  
Aki spotted th group and stormed over to them, her expression frantic. “Where is my baby?! Where is she?!”   
  
“Mama!” Cocoro bolted from her seat and into her mom’s arm, Cocoa following her a second later.    
  
Eli turned toward Nico’s mom, surprisingly calm given the situation. “Nico’s in surgery right now.”   
  
Aki held her children close to her, shaking her head. “Surgery? How, I can’t...I can’t afford this kind of care.”   
  
“Nishikino-sensei.” Eli answered quietly. “Maki’s dad is taking care of it. Maki called him earlier.”   
  
“I-Is she okay?” Aki asked, her eyes flooded with tears. “What happened? How bad is it?”   
  
“I-I don’t know…”   
  
“Aki-chan!” The sound of another voice echoed around the room and the group looked up to see Maki’s mom and Kotori’s mom walking toward them. Rei, who had spoken, reached Aki first but Yume was right behind her.    
  
“Rei-chan!” Aki exclaimed, gripping Rei’s arms. “W-Will she be able to move? What’s wrong with her?!”   
  
“She’s going to need physical therapy.” Rei explained, trying to keep her voice calm. Aki looked nothing short of hysterical. Out of the corner of her eye she noticed Hikaru and Yusuke walk into the hospital. They looked around for a moment before spotting the small group and walking over. “She’s going to be okay.”   
  
Kei bit her lip. “I’m going to put her on a hiatus. She will get paid, I’ll make sure of it.”   
  
“M-Mom!” Yukiho shot up from her seat, her eyes wide.    
  
Hikaru froze for a moment before slowly turning to Yukiho. “Y-Yukiho…”   
  
“Mom…” Yukiho bolted toward her mother, throwing her arms around her. It was too much. Being in the hospital again, another member of Muse hurt. She cried into her mom’s shoulder, her shoulders shaking with sobs.    
  
Hikaru stood motionless for a moment before she hugged Yukiho back as tightly as she could, feeling her husband’s arms go around both of them after a moment.    
  
Eli stared at the three of them for a long moment before she went to sit down in the back row, next to Raven.    
  
Hisa frowned as she took everything in. “Well at least it wasn’t me who ran over her.”   
  
“Damn it, Onee-chan.” Raven mumbled, rolling his eyes. “Read the mood.”   
  
“I don’t think I’ll get anything out of Hanayo.” Eli said, looking at Raven. “So can you please tell me what happened?”   
  
Raven grimly shook his head. “It’s too complicated. I don’t want to get into it.”   
  
Eli huffed out a sigh and turned to face forward.    
  
“I knew this would happen somehow.” Rin growled angrily, focusing on Hanayo. “I told you! This is ALL your fault, Hanayo.”   
  
Emily’s eyes widened. Rin hadn’t used any nicknames or quirks when she spoke to Hanayo.”Uh-oh.”   
  
“Shut up, Rin.”    
  
Rin looked up sharply, surprised to find Raven staring back at her. “ _ What?!” _ _   
_ _   
_ _ “ _ You don’t know what you’re talking about.” Raven said, his voice soft but firm. “If you want to blame anyone, blame me for getting in the way. Hanayo didn’t do anything.”   
  
“Are you kidding me?!” Rin retorted in disbelief, switching to English. “How the hell did you get in the way?”   
  
“Rin, children…” Emily mumbled.    
  
“They don’t know English!” Rin snapped irritably before she turned back to Raven. “Well?!”   
  
Raven sighed and shook his head. “Just leave her alone.”   
  
Rin got up and threaded her fingers into her hair, accidentally knocking her ponytail ascue. She hardly cared. “I’m sick and tired of leaving everything alone. FUCK. What the hell is wrong with you all? I’m the ONLY one out of everyone to keep my promise. Nobody ever thinks about how this all affected me!”   
  
“Now you want to talk about Honoka?” Nozomi asked dryly. “NOW?!”   
  
“She was my damn role model!” Rin snapped, clearly seething. “My senpai, my hero. And unlike any of you I KEPT my promise. I’m the only one who wanted her to see my happiness. I hate not understanding any of you! Do you think she would want to see you smoking, drinking and fighting? Do you think she’d want to see YOU with  your damn anger?!” She pointed to Nozomi who stared back at her. “You’re all supposed to be my damn friends. And now another of my best friends is fighting for her life right now! How the fuck did this happen again?!” She kicked her chair in a fit of rage and stormed away in tears to begin pacing the waiting room.    
  
Nozomi noticed Kotori and Maki walk back into the waiting room. Both looked like hell but Maki looked like she could burst into tears at any given moment.    
  
“Rin was right, this is my fault.” Hanayo whispered, looking up. She glanced toward Raven. “I should have never started a relationship while I was still in love with someone else. I’m sorry I dragged you into this mess.”   
  
Raven silently shook his head. “You were trying to move on. That’s normal.”   
  
Hanayo sighed and sank down to the floor, leaning back against the wall behind her. “I didn’t want to move on. I knew we’d find each other again. Raven, I-I kissed her first. I flirted with her, I’m the one who drew her back in. And then I caused her to get all those rumors in the tabloids…”   
  
Raven didn’t say anything. He didn’t know what he was meant to say to that. He’d already known of course. He felt a hand on his arm and looked to his right to see Hisa glaring daggers at Hanayo. “Don’t, it’s fine.”   
  
Hisa scowled but nodded her head.    
  
“I smoke too.” Hanayo reached into her pockets, taking out her cigarettes. “It’s been a secret between me and Nico since I was sixteen.”   
  
“Right.” Raven mumbled.    
  
“Anything else you want to add or are you done?!” Hisa growled angrily.    
  
Hanayo ignored Raven’s sister. “I hid a lot from you and I’m sorry. But I did tell you some things I wouldn’t tell other people I dated.”   
  
Raven took a deep breath. “I’m not angry with you for choosing Nico over me. But did you have to do this here?”   
  
“Right. Guess I screwed that up too.”   
  
Raven cleared his throat and got to his feet. “I’m going to get some coffee. I won’t be long.”   
  
Nozomi rolled her eyes at the two of them. “Like now is the time to talk about that anyway…” She muttered under her breath before she turned back to Umi. She hugged her tightly, feeling the girl trembling against her.    
  
A few minutes passed before a doctor walked into the waiting area. “Yazawa Nico’s family?” He asked carefully. At once, Nico’s family and Muse turned their attention to him. Hanayo scrambled to her feet. “Um...okay. She’s in critical condition at the moment. Due to a punctured lung she stopped breathing during surgery but we got her back. We believe she’ll be in this condition overnight but we do think she’ll stay stable. Her leg was shattered in two places so we’ve had to place screws. She’s going to need physical therapy afterwards too.”   
  
Kotori grimaced at that, clutching Maki’s hand tighter.   
  
Hanayo stumbled back, her hands going to her mouth. It was her fault. All of it was her fault.    
  
“Can I see her?” Nico’s mom finally asked, her voice trembling as she spoke.    
  
The doctor nodded in response. “I’ll take you to her room. Follow me.”   
  
“I’ll go with you.” Hikaru volunteered, gently moving away from Yukiho. The girl sank into her father’s arms instead.    
  
Hanayo watched them turn to go, her eyes brimming with tears. As much as she wanted to see Nico she knew Nico’s mom needed to see her first.    
  
“Hanayo.” Aki turned to Hanayo, meeting her eyes. “Come with us. You should see her too.”   
  
“W-What?” Hanayo stuttered, her eyes widening. “Why me?”   
  
“Because Nico loves you.” Aki answered simply, holding out her hand. “Please. She’d want you to be there.”   
  
Hanayo hesitantly walked over to take Aki’s hand, letting her tug her down the hallway.    
  
Kotori glanced at her mother. “Mom?” She waited until her mom looked up before she spoke again. “I’m bisexual and I’m dating Maki-chan.”   
  
Yume’s eyes widened and the rest of Muse turned toward Kotori in shock.    
  
“I just wanted you to know that.” Kotori said hesitantly. “Sorry, um...I know it’s not the best time.”   
  
“Understatement.” Nozomi muttered.    
  
“I-I need to...process that.” Yume stuttered, shaking her head. “Not right now.”   
  
Kotori nodded and felt Maki squeeze her hand. She leaned into her girlfriend, resting her head lightly on Maki’s shoulder with a soft sigh.    
  
Nozomi glanced at Eli who was sitting in silence next to Hisa. “How the hell are you calm?”   
  
Eli’s eyes darted up to Nozomi’s.   
  
“Her leg is shaking, lay off her.” Hisa growled, earning herself surprised looks from both Nozomi and Eli.    
  
“Um…” Eli blinked at Hisa. “I’m sorry, um...who are you exactly?”   
  
Hisa let out a laugh at the question but quickly smothered it. “Raven’s older sister. I’m just here for him, don’t worry. And you are...hot stuff?”   
  
“Don’t flirt with me.” Eli said in a flat tone of voice. “Ayase Eli.”   
  
“Oh, I’ve heard about you.” Hisa said thoughtfully, placing her hand to her cheek. “You’re the heartbreaker.”   
  
Eli stared at the redhead. “I don’t do relationships.”   
  
“Neither do I.”   
  
“I don’t do that either.”   
  
Hisa looked Eli up and down. “You look like you need it. You’re so tightly wound.”   
  
“My best friend is in the hospital, how should I be?” Eli asked defensively. She groaned in exasperation and leaned back in her seat. “I’m not interested.”   
  
“I’m just teasing you, hot stu-”   
  
“Don’t call me that.”   
  
Hisa smirked, amused by how unreceptive Eli was. “Fine. Eli-chan. I’m just teasing you. You don’t need to worry about me.”   
  
Eli twitched at the honorific. “No you’re annoying me.”   
  
“Sorry, I’ll shut up if you get coffee with me.” Hisa proposed, turning toward Eli. “As friends. And not this shitty hospital coffee. Come on, I promise I won’t hit on you. Much. You don’t seem interested in that anyway.”   
  
“I’m not.” Eli bit her lip. “Fine. Gotta start somewhere.”   
  
“Good. Hospitals are great places to meet people.” Hisa said with a smile.    
  
“You’re twisted.”   
  
“Damn straight, I am.”   
  
Eli rolled her eyes and sank back into her chair, deciding to go back to ignoring the odd redhead.    
  
Nozomi glanced between the two with a frown. She hoped Eli knew what she was doing. It was clear the blonde wasn’t ready to move on, if she ever even would be ready. It seemed unlikely.    
  
\-----   
  
Hanayo absentmindedly trailed her fingers up and down Nico’s arm. Her thoughts has drifted a long while ago, not long after she had joined Nico in the bed. She kept going over and over the last two years in her head, analysing every mistake she’d made. She should have fought for Nico, she shouldn’t have moved on when she wasn’t ready.    
  
“Hanayo…”   
  
A tired, raspy voice echoed around the otherwise silent room. Everyone else had come and gone already but Hanayo had refused. She needed to stay with Nico. She bolted upright, her eyes widening when she noticed Nico’s eyes were open. “You stupid idiot...BAKA! BAKA!”   
  
Nico stared up at Hanayo through tired eyes. Her hair was down, not in a stylish way like it would usually be. Just straight. She had a bandage on her right temple, various cuts and bruises scattered over her face, arms and most likely the rest of her. She still had an IV attached but Hanayo was relieved that the oxygen mask was gone. It had to mean that Nico was managing to breath on her own again, otherwise the doctor wouldn’t have taken it off.    
  
“I love you.” Nico rasped, desperately grasping for Hanayo’s hand. She calmed slightly when she finally held it in her own. “I-I saw Honoka.”   
  
Hanayo flinched in surprise, fixing Nico with a wide eyed stare. “W-What…?”   
  
Nico cleared her throat. “I saw her. Honoka. When I was unconscious, I guess. She called me an idiot too. Like she can talk…” Nico lifted her hand to her head, fingers brushing against her bandages. She supposed she must look a mess though what had happened was foggy at best. “How crazy was I?”   
  
“Hysterical.” Hanayo answered simply, trying not to think back to it.    
  
“Ah, I guess all that pent up emotion finally got the best of me.” Nico smiled though it was humorless and quickly slipped away. “It honestly felt like my world was shattering. I made the stupidest choices…”   
  
“Bullshit.” Hanayo argued bluntly. “If anything you and Rin-chan made all of the right choices. I was the one who made mistakes. I should have fought for you. I shouldn’t have tried to be with anyone else when I knew ultimately it wouldn’t work.    
  
“I told you to come with me to Paris.” Nico explained with a shake of her head. “I asked you to come with me to Paris but you were still in school. Graduating. That was stupid of me. You couldn’t have said yes even if you’d wanted to.”   
  
“I did want to.” Hanayo said softly. “I wanted to be with you but I was lying to myself. And you. I could have followed you like Umi-chan did with Nozomi-chan but I didn’t. I should have.”   
  
“Umi-chan didn’t have a choice, you had your life and family here.” Nico said stubbornly. “I’m sorry, Hanayo…”   
  
“Shut up!”   
  
“Huh?!” Nico felt herself being tugged up just as Hanayo leaned down. It hurt but she ignored it, finding her face pressing against Hanayo’s shoulder.    
  
“Nico-chan is irreplaceable.” Hanayo insisted firmly. “Like Kotori is to Maki and Umi is to Nozomi. And like Honoka is to Eli. If you’d died, I wouldn’t have moved on.”   
  
Nico swallowed thickly. “Eli is a terrible person to follow.”   
  
“I don’t care, I’d rather die before being with someone else.” Hanayo answered with a frown. She couldn’t imagine being with someone who wasn’t Nico. She had with Raven but now that she knew what it was like to be with Nico, she couldn’t imagine going back to him. “I need you. I want you, Nico-chan. I NEED you. Seeing you with Cocoa really made me realize I couldn’t see myself in a situation like that with Raven. I’m usually stingy with kids. Raven even told you I’m bad with kids because they make me nervous. But I can be with Cocoa and Cotaro and even Cocoro. They all have your eyes. Eyes that make me feel like...home.”   
  
“I feel like this is where you’re meant to propose to me or something.” Nico smirked.    
  
Hanayo fondly rolled her eyes. “You’ve been spending way too much time with Maki. You caught the proposal illness.”   
  
“Shut up.” Nico muttered with a shake of her head.    
  
“I’m not ready for that step yet.” Hanayo said, turning serious once more. “But...I don’t mind thinking about it...as long as you’re willing to think about it?”   
  
Nico bit her lip. “I want a family. But I need to be stable before even thinking about it. I’m still not at the right amount for that…”   
  
“You’re famous…” Hanayo pointed out.    
  
“Well in the fashion world, yes but I’m still not making it like those damn supermodels.” Nico frowned. “Plus my legs…they were my biggest asset.”   
  
“And your ass…”   
  
“Hanayo!”   
  
“All I’m saying is I’m gonna be cautious of that area.” Hanayo teased lightly. “As for your legs they’ll recover. Nishikino-sensei said that you just need time and physio. And you’ll be paid for the time you take off too so don’t worry about that. Kei-san said so.”   
  
Nico gave a slight smile. That was a relief. “That’s good.”   
  
\-----   
  
Eli hadn’t taken more than three steps into the coffee shop Hisa had directed her to when the redhead herself appeared in front of her, a bright smile on her face. “You came! Come on!” She grasped Eli’s hand, tugging her over to the coffee liquor bar to their far right. “Don’t worry, you ain’t drinking. This is for me. I already got the one up from Yukiho-san, Eli-chan.”   
  
Eli sat down hesitantly on a stool at the bar. “She’s still keeping tabs?”   
  
Hisa nodded in response. “Yep. Gotta tell her even if you just take a sip of mine. Which you will. And don’t worry, I won’t tell.”   
  
Eli frowned. “And have an indirect kiss with you? In your dreams.”   
  
Hisa smirked. “Wow, twenty and still so innocent.”   
  
Eli glared at her in annoyance.    
  
Hisa took a moment to look the blonde over. Eli looked good, wearing jeans and a striped black and white polo while Hisa had decided to go with a more casual look, opting for camo pants instead of jeans and a simple, tight black shirt.    
  
Eli glanced around for anything to change the subject, finally settling on the tattoo she’d noticed on Hisa’s wrist the previous day. “Why do you have an anchor tattoo? Does it mean anything?”   
  
“I’m in the navy.” Hisa answered with a nod of her head, turning her arm over to show the inside of her wrist. She traced the small tattoo. “You like tattoos, huh? You wanna see my oth-”   
  
“No.” Eli interrupted before Hisa could finish her sentence.    
  
“Killjoy.” Hisa chuckled before she turned away to order her drink. “You want anything, Eli-chan?”   
  
“I really wish you wouldn’t call me that.” Eli muttered under her breath. She looked to the person serving Hisa. “Just a coffee. No alcohol, please.”    
  
Hisa sat down in the seat next to Eli, turning toward her so that their knees brushed together. She noticed the blonde frown down at where they touched but didn’t move away.    
  
“She must have been something. A literal angel.” Hisa mused before she turned the conversation to something else. “So you’re Russian.”   
  
“A quarter, from my mother’s side.” Eli answered hesitantly. “What about you? You’re not...entirely Japanese, right?”   
  
“Canadian. My dad’s side.” Hisa answered casually.    
  
Eli looked up at Hisa. “Why isn’t you brother as tall as you…?”   
  
“He looks more like our mother. Aside from his hair, he gets that from our dad.” Hisa explained with a shrug. “I get mine from my mother and Itsuki gets hers from her dad. He’s not entirely Japanese either…”   
  
“Huh.” Eli mumbled thoughtfully. “So um...your parents…”   
  
“Bad subject.” Hisa interjected before Eli could really ask anything. “So what do you do? College? Work?”   
  
Eli shrugged her shoulders. “Neither. I moved back to Russia for a while and I only just moved back a few weeks ago. How long have you been in the navy?”   
  
“A couple of years. I went to college but it wasn’t for me.” Hisa rested her chin against her open hand. “Guess I was tired of studying and just wanted to get out there and do something?”   
  
“So you’ve always been...athletic?”   
  
Hisa smirked. “I think that was a thinly disguised compliment, Killjoy. I do work out if that’s what you’re asking.”   
  
“It wasn’t…” Eli frowned at the girl. “Do you hit on everyone you meet?”   
  
“Only the hot ones.” Hisa replied before she continued in a slightly more serious voice. “I really don’t. You just caught my attention, that’s all.”   
  
“Well you’re not going to get anywhere with me.” Eli’s attention was momentarily draw away from Hisa by the man behind the counter setting their drinks down. She thanked him before she addressed the redhead again. “I’m in love with someone else.”   
  
“Right, of course.” Hisa said, her smile slipping away for a moment. She picked up her coffee, taking a sip of the hot beverage and basked in the slight taste of alcohol. “You know you don’t have to lie to me, Eli-chan.”   
  
“I’m not lying. Let’s just talk about something else.”   
  
\----   
  
“I don’t know why you wouldn’t just tell me where you live.” Eli scowled as she helped Hisa into Kotori’s apartment. The girl’s arm was around her shoulders, Eli practically carrying her along.    
  
“Protecting Yukiho.” Hisa mumbled.    
  
Eli scowled as she closed the door behind them. “Jeez, what do you think I’m going to do to her? She’s the one who came onto ME not the other way around.” She glanced around to make sure there was no sign of Maki but she didn’t see her anywhere. She was relieved at that. Maki would kill her if she found out Eli was letting someone else stay at the house. Or rather  _ when _ she found out.    
  
Hisa drunkenly hiccuped. “Heartbreaker.”   
  
“Stop calling me that. Now that I think about it, stop calling me anything you’ve ever called me. It’s  _ Eli _ . Just Eli.” Eli helped Hisa sit down on the couch.    
  
“Way too intimate. I was raised Japanese, not Canadian.” Hisa leaned forward to try to take her shoes off, given Eli hadn’t paused to let her earlier, only to almost fall off the couch. She would have had Eli not caught her by the shoulders.    
  
“Well I was raised Russian, I’d prefer just my damn name.” Eli snapped, pushing Hisa back against the back of the couch.    
  
“Eli-san.”   
  
Eli twitched as she knelt down to take Hisa’s shoes off for her. “Not that.”   
  
“Then what? I’m older than you, I’m hardly gonna call you senpai.” Hisa slurred, resting her head back against the couch. She didn’t notice Eli momentarily freeze. “I need a damn honorific. I only call my family without one. I’m in the damn navy, I don’t disrespect people.”   
  
Eli took a couple of deep breaths, trying not to think of Honoka. “Just be quiet.” She muttered as she finished taking Hisa’s shoes off for her. She set them aside.    
  
“You sound just like the old woman.” Hisa muttered as she watched Eli straighten up. “Ever since Dad died she changed. Guess death really changes people. Her, exhibit A. You, exhibit B. I’m sick of people destroying themselves because they’ve lost someone.”   
  
“You miss your dad.” Eli commented bluntly as she gently pushed Hisa to lie down on the couch. She sat down on the edge of it.    
  
“Shut up.”   
  
“Why?” Eli asked softly.    
  
Hisa curled her arms around a cushion. “I’m drunk and defenseless, don’t bring up such topics, killjoy.”   
  
\-----   
  
Rin stared down into the cup of coffee she was holding in her hand. Emily had taken her home a short while ago, saying that she shouldn’t stay in the hospital overnight. There was nothing she could really do, after all.    
  
Still, while Rin had agreed to go home she refused to sleep. She couldn’t.    
  
“You’ve got a big meet soon.” Emily commented as she took a seat next to Rin. “We should probably start training. I have a huge game too. Soccer season will be starting.”   
  
Rin shook her head. “Nico-chan is still hurt. We can’t go back.”   
  
Emily fornwed. “But our tickets…?”   
  
“Fuck.” Rin cursed loudly. She set her coffee down with a thud, sending it splashing over the side. “I don’t want to bring Honoka-chan back. We’ll only be messing with the spirit world.”   
  
Emily stared at Rin for a long moment before she nodded. “Okay. But we do need to go back.”   
  
“I know. I’m happy in America. Being here is too painful. I don’t even think I know these people anymore…” Rin sighed and leaned forward, her head falling into her hands. “I want to go back but I can’t just leave Nico-chan like this.”   
  
“Right.” Emily said softly, slightly at a loss. She bit her lip, looking left and right. “So where does that leave us?”   
  
“I don’t know.” Rin muttered. She couldn’t figure out what she should do. She needed to get away but she needed to see Nico do the same. “Damn it. I just want to get out of here. There’s no way I can keep my promise to Honoka like this.”   
  
Emily was silent. She knew not to push Rin when she was thinking. Unfortunately they were interrupted by the sound of Rin’s phone ringing.    
  
Rin sighed and fished it out of her pocket, quickly answering it. It was Hanayo. “What do you want?”   
  
“Nico-chan and I were talking…” Hanayo began warily. “She doesn’t want Maki-chan’s dad to pay for her.”   
  
Rin rolled her eyes. “Stubborn Nico-chan.”   
  
“She told me she can get better care in France.” Hanayo continued quietly. “She has a dual passport and already has residence so she can get their health insurance. Japan is too expensive.”   
  
“So you’re going then.” Rin said, her voice softening. “You and Nico-chan are just going to leave?”   
  
“Well yeah. If that’s what she wants.” Hanayo answered hesitantly. “Or needs.”   
  
“Me too.” Rin replied after a moment of silence. She met Emily’s concerned gaze. “I’m leaving too.”   
  
“Right. But what about…?”   
  
“I don’t know.” Rin interrupted, looking down at her lap.    
  
“The others are going to be pissed.”    
  
“I can’t do anything about that.” Rin said, closing her eyes. She felt irritation niggle at her. She didn’t especially want to be talking to Hanayo. “I have to go, I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”   
  
She hung up without saying goodbye and tossed the phone down onto the coffee table.    
  
“Are you okay?” Emily asked hesitantly.    
  
Rin shook her head. “No, I’m not.”   
  
Emily noticed tears in Rin’s eyes and leaned in to hug her from the side.    
  
“It hurts, nya. I don’t want to not bring Honoka back but I fucking hate Tokyo.” Rin growled tearfully, her head bowed. “You must think I’m awful.”   
  
Emily simply shook her head. “I think you need a break. You’re going to have an attack like Nico if you keep this behavior up.”   
  
Rin sniffled softly and nodded her head. “This isn’t what Honoka wants for me. She wanted me to be happy. This just...sucks. Life sucks.”   
  
“It does in general.” Emily agreed hesitantly. “Remember, I told you about my parents divorcing?   
  
Rin gave a slight smile. “Your mom is sweet when she visits.”   
  
Emily gave Rin a gentle squeeze. “I still want to punch my dad though. I’m glad she divorced him.”   
  
“Why do we have to have such terrible luck, nya?” Rin rested her head lightly on Emily’s shoulder.    
  
“Terrible luck?” Emily echoed in disbelief. “I just got the cutest girl in my university, who happens to be Japanese to go out with me.”   
  
Rin’s brow furrowed. “But I’m the first girl you ever dated.”   
  
“True, but I’m still, y’know…”   
  
“What?! REALLY, NYA?!”   
  
“Shhh!”   
  
“But everyone in the soccer team at least…”   
  
“I told you to keep your voice down, damn it!”   
  
Rin finally quietened down. “Wait, what about your boyfriend from NYC?”   
  
“Broke up with him over the semester.” Emily said with a shrug of her shoulders. “So we never really...did it even though he was kind of pressuring me.”   
  
“American men are terrible.” Rin muttered with a roll of her eyes.    
  
“So true. And dumb.” Emily smirked. She rested her cheek against Rin’s head. She was glad she had her now at least.    
  
“When are we due to go back?” Rin asked finally, her voice small.    
  
“The return date on the tickets is in three days.”   
  
Rin closed her eyes, a sickening feeling forming in her stomach. “We should start packing.”   
  
TBC.    



	30. Chapter 30

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter of ANITW, I hope you guys enjoy. And thanks for all of the likes/comments. They really mean a lot to me!!!!

Chika cast a glance around the dining hall as she idly nibbled at the segment of mikan she held between her fingers. Usually she would have just eaten lunch in the classroom with You and Riko, provided she’d brought in a bento that day, and did most days for that matter. Lately though the group had been spending more time in the dining hall together so that You could be with Ruby and Chika could be with Kanan. Riko was there too after being invited by You and Chika who hadn’t wanted her to eat alone in the classroom.    
  
Chika was sure that Hanamaru and Yoshiko were eating lunch together and that Mari and Dia were too.    
  
Her thoughts drifted inevitably to Muse. She could hardly wait for Saturday. She longed to give Nozomi and the others something hopeful to focus on. It wasn’t much but she felt like it went toward redeeming herself for what she had done to Honoka.    
  
“You okay?” Chika felt a hand come to rest on her knee and looked up to find Kanan looking at her, a slightly concerned furrow to her brow. “Your leg is shaking.”   
  
“Holy shit.”   
  
Chika, Kanan, Riko and Ruby all turned to You, along with a number of girls sitting around them in the dining hall.    
  
“You-chan…” Riko frowned in disapproval.    
  
“HOLY SH-”   
  
“You.” Kanan warned, narrowing her eyes at the second year.    
  
“S-Sorry!” You’s eyes darted up to the rest of them. “It’s just…”   
  
“YAZAWA NICO WAS HIT BY A CAR!” Another girl exclaimed from a couple of tables away.    
  
“Ah yeah, that.”    
  
Chika felt her heart plumett in her chest. “WHAT?!” She darted to her feet, her eyes wide and reached across the table, snatching You’s phone from her hand. She scrolled urgently through the article You had been reading, searching for anything that said Nico was okay.   
  
“It happened this morning.” Chika heard Ruby say quietly. She glanced up to see Ruby staring at her phone this morning. “It doesn’t say whether she’s okay or not…”   
  
“This can’t be happening again…” Chika muttered to herself, putting You’s phone back on the table. “I have to call someone…”   
  
With trembling hands she took out her phone, automatically scrolling to Nozomi’s number.    
  
“Chika, wait!” Kanan stopped Chika before she could call the number. “Not Nozomi, she’s gonna be angry. She’ll blow up at you.”   
  
“I HAVE TO CALL SOMEONE!” Chika exclaimed loudly, drawing a few stares toward them. “I…” She was interrupted by the sound of her phone ringing. “Unknown caller…”   
  
“Don’t pick it…” Kanan frowned as Chika went ahead and answered the call anyway.    
  
“Well finally you answered.” A disgruntled voice spoke on the other end of the line.    
  
“H-Hanayo-san?!”   
  
“Nozomi didn’t tell you she gave me your number, did she?”    
  
Chika sat down heavily. “WHAT IS HAPPENING?!”   
  
“Keep it down.” Hanayo ordered firmly. “You’re on speaker and Nico-chan is still sleeping.”   
  
“Wait, s-so she’s okay?!”   
  
“I wouldn’t say okay but she’s alive. Listen, can you not come this weekend?”   
  
Chika’s eyes widened. “What, but...why?!”   
  
“Because all of us won’t be in a good state of mind at the moment. Especially Nico-chan and Rin-chan.”    
  
Chika gripped her phone tighter. “We can’t just not do the ritual, Hanayo-chan. Don’t you understand that the longer we wait the less likely it is that we’ll be able to bring Honoka back?!”   
  
“Nico-chan needs to focus on herself. She needs to recover. She has enough to worry about.”    
  
Chika gritted her teeth. “Are you listening to me?”   
  
Hanayo let out a sigh on the other end of the phone. “I’m listening. We only have a certain amount of time to bring Honoka-chan back, we need to hurry. Yeah, I get it. But I need to focus on Nico-chan right now. Her leg was shattered and Maki needs to focus on her exams right now and...”   
  
“Would you shut up?!” Chika noticed her friends glance at her in surprise. “You’re talking about exams?! This is Honoka’s life!”   
  
“She had a  _ breakdown _ , Chika!” Hanayo exclaimed loudly, effectively silencing Chika. “That’s how she was hit by the car. She needs time to recover. I’m not saying we won’t try this thing with Honoka but give her a week at least to get back on her feet. She needs that much at least. I want Honoka-chan back just as much as anyone else but Nico-chan needs to recover right now and that’s what Honoka-chan would want. If you think she would want us hurting ourselves to bring her back you obviously don’t know her as well as you think you do!”   
  
Chika’s shoulders slumped in defeat. “Right, I’m sorry.” She muttered, looking down at her lap. “I just really want her back.”   
  
“I know. We all do.” Hanayo said, her voice catching slightly. “Do you not think sitting here doing nothing when I know we could be out there trying to bring her back is driving me fucking crazy? Any of us would do anything to bring her back.”   
  
Kanan shared a worried look with You across the table. It wasn’t often they saw Chika look so defeated.    
  
Riko bit her lip in worry too. She couldn’t see Chika’s face so she couldn’t read her expression.    
  
“Tell Nico-chan I hope she feels better.” Chika ended the call before she stood from the table.    
  
“Chika-chan…” You said warily. She flinched as Chika slammed her phone down onto the table. “Hey, Chika-chan…”   
  
“I’m not feeling well, I’m...I’m going to the nurse’s office.” Chika didn’t look at her friends as she stood from the table.    
  
Kanan, Riko and You all stood from the table to follow her.    
  
“Stop, I’ll go.” Kanan said, holding her hand up. She picked up Chika’s bag, throwing it over her shoulder.    
  
“No.” Surprisingly it was Riko who spoke, her voice firm. “You-chan and I will go. She needs her best friends.”   
  
“No.” Kanan disagreed with a scowl. “I’ll go. And for the record, I still count as one of her best friends.”   
  
She picked up Chika’s phone, sliding it into her pocket and quickly left.    
  
  
\------   
  
The walk back to Chika’s house was silent. When Kanan had found Chika the girl was on her way out of the nurse’s office, having said that she felt unwell and needed to go home. Kanan hadn’t had to think all that much to decide she would skip her last lessons to go with her girlfriend.    
  
They climbed the stairs to Chika’s room in silence too. It was only when the bedroom door closed behind them that Kanan spoke up. “Do you want to talk about it?”   
  
“No.” Chika answered gruffly. She roughly shrugged her way out of the blazer, letting it fall to the floor and took her tie off too. She tossed it down next to her blazer. She turned toward Kanan but her gaze went past her, to the poster on her bedroom door. She gritted her teeth. “Damn it.”   
  
“Chika.” Kanan walked over to Chika, gently wrapping her arms around her. She drew her close though she could feel that Chika was tensed up.    
  
“We were so damn close.” Chika muttered, her eyes fixed to the poster. “I was so close to getting her back, Kanan-chan.”   
  
“I know.” Kanan murmured. Truthfully she felt just as frustrated with the situation. She knew how hard it had been for Chika and how much effort her girlfriend had put into trying to get Honoka back. “We’ll figure something out, I promise.”   
  
“Even if we have to do it ourselves?” Chika asked, her voice taut with annoyance. She felt Kanan begin to pull back and gripped the back of her shirt to stop her. “I don’t know what’s wrong with them. We can’t let something like this stop us.”   
  
Kanan sighed softly. She agreed with Chika but she knew they couldn’t say that to Hanayo and the others. It was their decision to make, after all. “We’ll think of something. Just give me some time. I’ll...come up with something.”   
  
Chika seemed to relax somewhat at that though Kanan wasn’t sure what she was going to do to change the minds of Hanayo and the others.    
  
“I just want her back.” Chika said softly, drawing away from Kanan just slightly. Her hands slid down to settle at Kanan’s waist. “I can’t just forget about this. It’s my fault that she’s dead and I have to do something about it.”   
  
“You will. We will.” Kanan gently placed her hand on Chika’s shoulder, offering a small smile. “I’ll talk to Nozomi later and we’ll think of something.”   
  
Chika couldn’t think of a solution to the situation herself but she was comforted by the sincerity in Kanan’s eyes. She let out a slow breath and leaned into her girlfriend.    
  
\-----

  
“You finally decided to take me up on my offer?”    
  
Eli looked up from the coffee she was cradling in her hands, finding a redhead standing in front of her, her hands on her hips. “Hey.”   
  
“You look like crap.” Hisa commented, sitting down. “Which...I mean crap for you is still pretty damn hot if you don’t mind me saying. What’s up? I didn’t expect you to text me.”   
  
“I didn’t expect you to come really. I only text you an hour ago.” Eli said softly, looking down at her coffee. “You gonna drink again?”   
  
“Nope.” Hisa answered, moving her chair a bit closer to Eli. “I figured I couldn’t make it to this place in an hour if I walked so I drove here. I was meant to be picking Itsuki up from school but Raven is taking care of it.”   
  
“How is he?”   
  
“Do you care?” Hisa countered, raising an eyebrow.    
  
Eli gave a guilty laugh and looked down at her coffee. “Sorry, I just have a lot of other things on my mind. Yukiho, Nico, Honoka…” Her voice caught as she spoke but she quickly cleared her throat.    
  
“I’m still not gonna call you without an honorific.” Hisa said, nudging Eli’s knee with her hand. “So don’t get any ideas.”   
  
Eli shrugged her shoulders. “What about a nickname then?”   
  
Hisa thought about that for a moment. “Ugh, I can only think of the same one that busty girl gives you.”   
  
“Busty girl?” Eli echoed. “Nozomi?”   
  
“Yeah, that one.”   
  
Eli bit her lip. “Fine, you can call me that too if you want.”    
  
“You sure, Elichi?” Hisa smirked, resting her chin on her open hand as she stared at Eli.    
  
Eli grimaced. “It’s better than you calling me Eli-chan, I guess. Doesn’t work with you.”   
  
“Good. So you didn’t answer my question. Why did you suddenly want to meet?” Hisa asked expectantly, raising an eyebrow.    
  
“I don’t know, I guess...I was lonely or something. I’m not used to being alone.” Eli confessed quietly. Even in Russia she had been with her family. “I’m not dating you so you can get that out of your head right now.”   
  
Hisa pouted. “So cruel, Elichi.”   
  
“Ugh.” Eli rolled her eyes. “I just need a friend, that’s all. One that isn’t painful to look at. And it looks like you need one too. Can you just please try not to hit on me?”   
  
“No promises.” Hisa said with a small smile. “But I’ll keep it in my pants if that’ll make you happy.”   
  
Eli huffed out another sigh. “Talking to you is exhausting sometimes.” She said though she couldn’t deny she felt a little bit lighter with her mind taken off of everything happening with her friends.    
  
“And yet you enjoy it.” Hisa smirked, noticing the flicker of a smile on Eli’s lips. “So what do you wanna do? Do you want to go somewhere? I’m guessing you didn’t call me here to spill all of your secrets and pour your heart out to me? We should probably wait until the third date for tha-”   
  
“No dating.” Eli said with a shake of her head. She noticed Hisa grinning. “Stop teasing me. Um...I don’t know. What do you like to do for fun?”   
  
“The only thing I can think of that isn’t sexual or lame is either going to the arcade or...bowling?” Hisa suggested with a shrug. “Unless you’d like a better sport, like ice skating?”   
  
“Sure. Ice skating.” Eli finished her coffee before she got up and put her jacket on. “I hope you’re ready though, I’m pretty good. You can skate, right?”   
  
“...Duh, I’m the one who suggested it. Let’s go,  _ Elichi _ .”   
  
\-----   
  
Eli had to grasp the side of the ice rink to keep herself on her feet as she doubled over in laughter as Hisa’s skates once again left the ice.    
  
The redhead flung her arms around comically for a moment before she went crashing to the ice on her back.    
  
Hisa groaned as pain rushed through her body. “Hey, a little less laughing, a little more help!”   
  
“Sorry.” Eli skated over to Hisa, still giggling to herself. “I thought you said you could skate though?”   
  
Hisa huffed. “I didn’t want you to know I suck at this.”   
  
“Get up then.”   
  
“Can’t.” Hisa held out her hands to Eli. “Help me up, come on!”   
  
Eli rolled her eyes and reached down to take the girl’s hands only to falter. “If you pull me down there with you, I’m leaving.”   
  
“Damn it, killjoy.” Hisa smirked. That was exactly what she’d planned to do. “Fine. Deal.”   
  
Eli took Hisa’s hands and pulled her up to her feet. She let go of her immediately and Hisa wobbled on her skates. She tried to move her feet to get traction but ended up slipping again, grasping Eli’s arm for balance.    
  
They both went down this time, hitting the ice hard.    
  
“That was an accident, I swear!” Hisa exclaimed quickly, wincing at the throbbing in her legs. “Ah shit, I’m so bad at this.”   
  
“It’s fine.” Eli sighed, pushing herself back to her feet. She wiped her hands on her jeans before she reached down again. “Give me your hands.”   
  
“What are you gonna do?” Hisa eyed Eli’s hands suspiciously. “You’re not gonna push me, are you? You better not push me, Elichi!”   
  
“I won’t, relax. I just want to help you up. Besides those teenagers over there are mocking you.” Eli smirked, nodding to the small group of teenagers a short way across the ice. “Come on, get up.”   
  
Hisa took Eli’s hands and let her help her to her feet. Predictably she wobbled again and clutched onto Eli’s arms. “Maybe you should have left me down there.” She heard a laugh from behind her and looked over at the group of teenagers Eli had been talking about. “I’ll kick their damn asses off this ice…”   
  
“You can’t beat kids up.” Eli said patiently. “You can’t even skate.”   
  
“Then teach me.”   
  
Eli chuckled at the soft mumble. “What was that?”   
  
“Teach me, damn it.” Hisa replied, averting her eyes to the side. “I’m supposed to be Canadian. Skating is like second nature. Like you Russians.”   
  
“Fine. One lesson isn’t going to cover it though.” Eli reached down and prised Hisa’s fingers from her arm, moving the hand to her shoulder instead.    
  
“Huh?” Hisa gripped Eli’s shoulder tightly as the blonde moved her other hand too. “Are you telling me we’re gonna have to be coming here for a while?”   
  
“Yeah, I guess.”   
  
“I’m not gonna have to do those jumps, right? Can you even do those?” Hisa asked curiously.    
  
“I can do a few.” Eli gripped Hisa’s arms to steady her and began to skate backwards.    
  
“SHOW ME!” Hisa said loudly as Eli guided her backwards toward the wall. “Come on, you have to.”   
  
“Fine. Grab onto the wall and don’t fall on your ass.” Eli waited for Hisa to do as she was asked before she skated away, leaning to the left so that she was skating on the inside edge of the blade on her skate, her left leg lifted behind her. She turned on the blade when she’d built up enough speed, so that she was moving backwards a short way. Leaning onto the outside edge of her blade, she jumped from the ice, turning her body left. She drew her arms close to her chest as she spun in the air before she landed once more on the outside edge of her blade, her arm lifting to steady herself once more.    
  
“THAT WAS AWESOME!”    
  
Eli looked around, her cheeks flushing when she noticed Hisa applauding her from the edge of the rink. She skated back toward her.    
  
“MY FRIEND IS SO DAMN COOL!” Hisa yelled excitedly. She tried to move forward only to slip. She quickly caught herself on the wall. “Heh…”   
  
Eli rolled her eyes. “My friend is a huge dork who can’t skate.”   
  
“Harsh. I was complimenting you.”    
  
“Thanks, I guess…”    
  
“Don’t be a tsundere with me, damn it!” Hisa exclaimed, bringing an amused smile to Eli’s face. “You know you have a nice smile, you should do it more often.”   
  
Eli looked away, clearing her throat. “No hitting on me. So maybe for your first lesson we should…”   
  
“Actually can we do that next time? I’m kind of…” As if on cue, Hisa sneezed into her hands. “Ugh. Cold. Can we get coffee maybe? There’s a little cafe in here, right?”   
  
“Fine. I’m not going easy on you next time though.” Eli said, turning back to Hisa. “Do you need help to the gate?”   
  
“No, I can walk...using the wall.” Hisa said, trying to straighten up a little. “I’ll see you over there. But hey listen, I was being honest about the smile. You should do it more often. I’m not hitting on you, it just suits you way more than that scowl you constantly wear.”   
  
Eli’s brow furrowed slightly. “Um...don’t make me wait too long.” She said before she turned and skated away.    
  
Hisa sighed at the subtle rejection. She really was just trying to be friendly though she supposed she wasn’t the most social of people so maybe she was coming across as creepy. She slowly followed Eli to the gate.    
  
\------   
  
“Are you going to be able to leave soon, Nee-chan?” Cocoa pouted, bouncing just a little on her knees on Nico’s hospital bed. She was sitting to Nico’s side, staring at her hopefully. “I have so much homework and it’s all math.”   
  
“Cocoa.” Cocoro warned, putting her hand on Cocoa’s shoulder to keep her still.    
  
Hanayo noticed the troubled look on Nico’s face and spoke up. “I’ll help you with your homework, Cocoa.” She drew the girl toward her, calming her down a bit and with the hand holding Nico’s gave a gentle squeeze.    
  
“Okay!” Cocoa exclaimed, seemingly accepting the answer.    
  
Hanayo glanced at Nico, noticing she still looked a little upset. She sighed softly. She knew Nico was still trying to figure out whether she should go to France or whether she should let go of her pride and take the Nishikinos money. They had offered, after all.    
  
As much as Hanayo wanted to reassure Nico and tell her that she would support her no matter what her decision she couldn’t, given the fact that Nico’s mom, siblings and Kei were all in the room.    
  
Kei and Aki were by the bottom of the bed, Aki sitting in a chair with Cotaro in her lap while Kei’s hand resting lightly on the other woman’s shoulder in silent support. The two of them had arrived together with the kids and from what Hanayo had been able to work out, it seemed like Kei had driven them all to the hospital.    
  
She wasn’t especially surprised by that. She’d known that Nico was close to her agent.    
  
“Are you going to tell us what’s on your mind or not, Yazawa?” Kei finally asked, her voice blunt as she stared at her boss. “You’ve hardly said a word since we got here and clearly there’s something on your mind.”   
  
Nico bit her lip and shrugged her shoulders before finally speaking. “I don’t want to accept their money.”   
  
“Oh no, it’s your pride again.” Aki sighed and looked skyward for a brief moment. “Nico, you know I don’t exactly have the money for this type of care.”   
  
“I know…” Nico guiltily looked down at her lap. She hated reminding her mom of that. “That’s why I’ve been thinking of maybe moving back to Europe…”   
  
“You’re leaving again?” Cocoro asked, a flash of panic flitting across her face.    
  
Cocoa looked distressed too, clutching the front of Hanayo’s shirt.    
  
Cotaro’s lip quivered as he looked up. “Nee-chan, stay!”   
  
“What he said!” Cocoa chimed in, her own eyes brimming with tears.    
  
Cotaro continued to cry, his nose running as he rubbed at his eyes.    
  
“You can’t go!” Cocoa exclaimed frantically, tears already streaming down her cheeks. “You only j-just got back!”   
  
Nico felt a lump form in her throat. “It won’t be for long, I’ll-”   
  
“We don’t want you to go at all!” Cocoro exclaimed. Her eyes were free of tears but her lip was trembling like she was struggling not to cry.    
  
“But I have insurance there, I have to…”   
  
“Oh for the love of the gods!” Kei exclaimed in exasperation. “You’re staying here.”   
  
“Huh?”   
  
“I’ll pay. You’re staying here.” Kei answered calmly.    
  
“I’M YOU BOSS!” Nico pointed out loudly, wide eyed. “That’s crazy, I earn a  _ lot  _ more than you. This should be the other way around!”   
  
“I want to help.” Kei answered with a shake of her head. “A lot of your money goes toward your family, I know that. Just let me help out just this once. Besides I’m the director of the agency. I’m not exactly broke.”   
  
“I-I can’t let you do that though.” Nico said, slightly uncomfortable with the idea. “I’m your boss.”   
  
“Come on, we both know you’re more than that.” Kei said with a roll of her eyes. Nico was like family to her at this point. “Just let go of your pride and let me help.”   
  
“F-Fine.” Nico closed her eyes for a moment before she opened them and offered Kei a small smile. “Um...thank you.”   
  
“There, that wasn’t so hard!” Kei smiled broadly at the fact that Nico had finally relented. She had been worried that Nico’s pride would get in the way and she would refuse. “So that solves the issue. Nobody is going anywhere.”   
  
Slowly, Cotaro and Cocoa stopped crying, wiping away their tears. Cotaro climbed onto the bed, crawling into Nico’s arms and Cocoa moved away from Hanayo to get closer to her sister too.    
  
Cocoro rested her head on Nico’s shoulder, tears lacing her eyes.    
  
Hanayo let go of Nico’s hand and glanced toward Kei and Aki, deciding to give her girlfriend a few minutes with her siblings. She faltered, feeling a little awkward when she found both Aki and Kei watching her. She was sure they had to blame her for what happened to Nico. She blamed herself. “Um...can I get anyone anything from the cafeteria? I’m going to get some tea. Nico-chan?”   
  
“Wait, stay.” Nico reached out and grabbed Hanayo’s hand once more.    
  
Hanayo hesitated, She still wasn’t sure if she really in in there with all of them. Still, she sat back down, lacing her fingers with Nico’s.    
  
\----   
  
  
Maki sighed as she nudged open the door to Kotori’s apartment with her shoulder. The bag that hung on her shoulder was weighed down with study materials and textbooks. She hadn’t wanted to go back to university so soon after Nico’s accident but she’d had little choice in the matter. She had a project she was doing in a group and the group had wanted to meet that morning.    
  
She shut the door and set her bag down, carefully kicking off her shoes before she headed to her bedroom. She paused when she stepped inside, her eyes widening in surprise. Kotori was standing in front of her bed, a pile of clothes stacked high on top of it. “Um...what are you doing?”   
  
She noticed the open dresser and ajar wardrobe door, causing her to frown.    
  
“Tidying.” Kotori answered, glancing at Maki. “Organizing, you know? I figured it was time to clean some of my stuff out. I don’t need all of this stuff.”   
  
“Right.” Maki hesitantly stepped closer. Noticing a glass of something dark sitting atop the dresser she went over, subtly taking a drink. She was relieved to find it was just soda. She set the glass down before Kotori noticed.    
  
Kotori held up a light blue shirt she’d worn a couple of times. It was an off the shoulder shirts she’d word on a date with Maki at one point, she recalled. She bent down to put it into the bag at her feet.    
  
“You’re throwing all of that out?” Maki asked skeptically, noticing how full the bag was. “Don’t you need these?”   
  
“No, you should see how many pairs of shoes I had to throw in there.” Kotori shook her head in disdain.    
  
“Okay, okay.” Maki stepped forward and grasped Kotori’s arms, gently turning her to face her. “What’s going on? Something’s bothering you.”   
  
“Nothing’s…” Kotori hesitated, remembering her promise to be honest with Maki. “I-I’m just worried. I want to have room for you. My mom’s not talking to me really and you probably know that so I-I just want to make it obvious that I want you here.”   
  
“That’s sweet.” Maki said with a small smile. She gently rubbed Kotori’s arms. “What else?”   
  
“Honoka-chan, I-I guess.” Kotori lowered her eyes to the floor. “You know everyone’s put Chika-chan coming on hold.”   
  
Maki sighed. It wasn’t a decision she was happy about but she knew it had to be done. Nico needed some time to heal. “Yeah. Until next week.”   
  
“I’m just...I don’t know what I’ll do if we don’t get her back.” Kotori admitted, glancing back up at Maki. “It’ll be like losing her all over again.”   
  
“I know.” Maki gently drew Kotori into her arms and kissed the top of her head. She held her close for a few minutes before she spoke once more. “I should tell my family too.”   
  
“What, that you’re gay?” Kotori pulled away, wiping stray tears from her eyes.    
  
Maki nodded. “I’m sure I don’t have interest in men. I’ll have to tell them eventually.”   
  
“Are you sure?” Kotori asked with a slight frown. “Just because I told my mom that doesn’t mean you have to rush yourself. I don’t want you to feel pre-” She was cut off by a gentle kiss from Maki.    
  
“I want to. I want to be honest.” Maki admitted in a whisper. “I’m gay, Kotori. I’m never going to want a guy.”   
  
“Okay, if that’s what you want.” Kotori replied quietly, draping her arms over Maki’s shoulders. She pressed their foreheads together, taking a slow breath. “I’ll be there for you whenever you need me.”   
  
“I’ll be there for you too.” Maki said quickly. She didn’t want things to go back to how they had been, with her relying on Kotori without giving her support back. “We’ll be okay, no matter what happens.”   
  
“Mmhm.” Kotori hummed in agreement. As long as they were together they would be fine.    
  
\----   
  
Raven walked into Hisa’s apartment, dropping the spare keys she had given him on the table next to the door. He slipped his shoes off and walked into the kitchen, figuring he would find something to snack on and then go in the shower. He’d been at work since early that morning so he wanted to unwind a little.    
  
“Whoa.” He stopped short a couple of steps into the kitchen when he found Eli sitting at the table. “How did you…? Did you like...break in here or something?”   
  
“Seriously?” Eli raised an eyebrow.    
  
“Don’t worry, she’s with me.” Hisa walked in from the next room, drawing Raven’s attention toward her. “She’s gonna give me some ice skating tips. You remember I said we were ice skating buddies now?”   
  
“Don’t call us that.” Eli mumbled under her breath.    
  
“Right, I thought you were being sarcastic.” Raven mused, staring at Eli. “You can’t be here when Yukiho-chan gets back.”   
  
“Fine.” Eli said, rolling her eyes.    
  
“We’re just friends by the way. Nothing is going on. Just friends.” Hisa piped up, figuring she should say that.    
  
“Hisa, you’re never just friends. It’s usually a one night stand or y’know, a relationship you inevitably end.” Raven pointed out, crossing his arms in front of his chest.    
  
“Hey, I can make friends!”    
  
“Yeah? Name some.”   
  
“Saya-chan, Chrom-kun, Uni-san…”   
  
Raven narrowed his eyes. “Not from work. Outside of work.”   
  
“Ugh, come on.” Hisa thought about that for a moment. “Chizuru-chan, Kumiko-chan, Nina-san…”   
  
“Sex, sex, relationship you screwed up.” Raven counted off on his fingers. “Face it, I’m right. You’ve always slept with everyone you’ve been ‘friends’ with.”   
  
“She’s still hitting on me.” Eli told him causing Hisa to huff in annoyance.    
  
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”   
  
“Now you’re denying it.” Eli pouted at Hisa. “You hit on me every chance you get.”   
  
“I just want to learn how to skate!” Hisa exclaimed defensively, throwing her arms up. “Would you both just get off my case already. I have friends at work and I have you and Itsuki. And I have…” She hesitated, glancing at Eli. “Her.”   
  
“Thanks.” Eli said sarcastically. She turned back to Raven. “For the record she knows she doesn’t have a shot with me so it’s fine. Right, Hisa?”   
  
“Right.” Hisa sighed in relief when Raven finally decided to relent. “So what do you have in the bag? Skating competitions, like olympic stuff?”   
  
“No.” Eli rolled her eyes. “Just come on.”   
  
“See you later., Raven.” Hisa stood up from her chair and led Eli to her bedroom, closing the door behind her. She wandered past the blonde and sank down onto her bed, patting the space next to her. “Sit. Don’t be shy.”   
  
“I’m...fine.” Eli said, eyeing the space next to Hisa with a hint of caution. “I brought you some books to read. “   
  
“Books?” Hisa groaned and fell onto her back. “I’m not gonna learn by reading books, I have to learn by doing it myself! Come on, you have to teach me!”   
  
“I can’t teach you, we’re not on ice.” Eli said, disgruntled.    
  
“Well then what if I teach you something?” Hisa bolted upright, a mischievous grin on her face.    
  
“If you say anything perverted I  _ will _ slap you.” Eli warned, fixing Hisa with a serious stare.    
  
“Hmm...I could teach you to...I don’t know, fight?” Hisa asked with a shrug of her shoulders. She fell silent for a moment, trying to work out what other skills she could pass on. “I’m good at archery? Um…”   
  
“I don’t think I need to know any of that.” Eli said, taking a couple of steps closer. “We could just study.”   
  
“Ugh, please don’t make me.”   
  
Eli couldn’t help but smile as Hisa clasped her hands together. “Ever done kendo? Umi has.”   
  
“Sure, a long time ago.” Hisa relaxed, hopeful that Eli wasn’t going to make her read those books.    
  
“Damn, you don’t have a lot of skills besides fighting, do you?” Eli smirked, staring at Hisa expectantly.    
  
“Shut up, I’m trying to think. I’m not some genius like you.”   
  
“Not a genius, just smart. And articulate.” Eli carefully sat down on the very corner of Hisa’s bed.    
  
“If you tell me you can do all sorts of dances you can go jump into a frozen lake, ice queen.”   
  
Eli chuckled under her breath. “We don’t have to read. I have a film we can study. About the women who inspired me. One of them is Russian but the others are Japanese and American.”   
  
“A movie.” Hisa considered that for a moment before nodding her head. She shuffled back to the other side of the bed to get her laptop and placed it in front of her, opening the lid. She adjusted herself so that she was sitting cross-legged and glanced over at Eli. “You gonna come over here or not? You need to see, right Elichi?”   
  
“Right.” Eli sighed and moved onto the bed herself. She moved closer to Hisa but kept a respectable amount of distance between the two of them.    
  
“You know, I’m not gonna jump you just because you’re on my bed.” Hisa smirked, rolling her eyes. “It’s safe, I promise. Unless you get scared while we’re watching the film and want to hold my hand.”   
  
“It’s not a scary movie.” Eli said blankly.    
  
“Well you could hold my hand anyway.”    
  
Eli sighed and handed over her flash drive. “Just put it on.”   
  
Hisa did as she was asked and leaned back on her hands as the video began to play. She watched with a furrowed brow as small girl made her way onto the ice. “Who’s she?”   
  
“Asada Mao.” Eli answered, her eyes glued to the screen. “She’s a competitive Japanese figure skater. Or she was anyway. Just watch.”   
  
“Fine, fine.” Hisa turned back to the screen to watch the performance.    
  
Eli leaned a bit closer to the screen. “She just did a triple axel spin, one of the most difficult jumps for women.” She explained quietly, drawing Hisa’s attention back for her for a moment.    
  
Hisa was quick to turn back to the screen to see what Eli was talking about. She hummed in acknowledgement, not wanting Eli to think she was ignoring her. They watched the rest of the routine in silence until it ended and the next skater came onto the ice.    
  
“Yulia Lipnitskaya.” Eli said softly as the girl skated onto the ice. “Former Russian competitive figure skater.”   
  
“She looks like that dude from the skating anime.” Hisa said thoughtfully, tilting her head as she watched the girl.    
  
“Huh?” Eli’s brow furrowed for a moment before her attention was drawn back to the screen. “Oh watch, she’s going to spin here and…” She paused as the girl’s feet left the ice and she spun, landing gracefully. “That was a salchow jump.”   
  
“Huh. I prefer the other jump.” Hisa said thoughtfully, amused by how interested in the video Eli was. “So are there any Canadians?”   
  
“Um...not in this video but there are Canadian ice skaters.” Eli answered with a nod of her head. “There’s Cynthia Phaneuf. She was born in Canada. Um...Tessa Virtue.”    
  
“We should watch them next time we have a study session.” Hisa suggested, turning her attention back to the screen.    
  
Eli smiled slightly at the comment. She knew that Hisa’s dad was Canadian. It was endearing that she wanted to be closer to him. She took a breath and lightly touched Hisa’s hand, causing her to flinch slightly in surprise.    
  
“I’ll send you some videos. If you want.” Eli moved her hand away, turning her attention back to the laptop screen.    
  
“R-Right…” Hisa cleared her throat and clenched her hand, looking back to the screen.    
  
Eli found herself distracted from the video playing on the laptop. She had to admit that she liked how sincere Hisa was. It was a trait that reminded her of Honoka. Feeling a familiar ache in her chest she took a deep breath and looked back to the laptop.    
  
\-----   
  
Nozomi nudged her way into the apartment, kicking the door shut behind her with a sigh. Her arms were laden with bags from the store. She had noticed Kotori and Maki were running low on groceries and had decided to go out and buy some for them. It was the least she could do, she figured, seeing as she was basically living with them. She went to the kitchen only to do a double take at the sight of Umi sitting at the table.    
  
“I thought you were going to the library.” She said in surprise as she put the bags down on the counter.    
  
Umi looked up with a small smile. “I didn’t feel up to it so I decided to stay home and study instead.”   
  
Nozomi walked over to Umi, taking a seat next to her. She knew the signs of Umi’s anxiety acting up. “You okay? Have you taken your pills?”   
  
“Yeah, I’ve taken them.” Umi leaned into Nozomi, resting her head on her shoulder. “I’m just worried about Nico. And this Honoka thing being delayed. I just want to do it.”   
  
Nozomi hummed in understanding. “You want to talk to her again.”   
  
Umi nodded silently, momentarily choking up at the thought.    
  
“You will.” Nozomi promised in a whisper. “Just not right now. We all need to be well enough to do this. It’ll be okay, Umi-chan. It’s just a week.”   
  
“I know. You promised so I believe you.” Umi sighed in disdain. “I’m just impatient. You probably feel the same way, right?”   
  
“Of course.” Nozomi said softly. She could hardly wait to speak to Honoka again. “I can’t imagine how Eli feels right now. Actually I haven’t seen her during the day for a couple of days now…”   
  
“I think she made a friend.” Umi said softly, looking up at Nozomi with a gentle smile. She was relieved Eli seemed to be a bit more together now at least. She supposed the promise of getting Honoka back was giving Eli hope.   
  
Nozomi looked surprised for a moment before a small smile tugged at her lips. “We’re going to figure this out, Umi-chan. I talked to Kanan earlier and we’re going to figure it out. We have to, for everyone’s sakes.”   
  
Umi nodded but didn’t reply, focusing on the warmth next to her instead.    
\----   
  


“Do you have any idea why Rin told us all to meet her here?” Kotori asked as Nozomi sat down on the couch next to her. She lightly squeezed the hand of her girlfriend who was sitting on her other side.    
  
“No idea.” Nozomi answered softly as she moved closer to Kotori to let Umi squeeze onto the edge of the couch next to her. She glanced over at Eli who was standing a few feet away with Arisa.    
  
Yukiho wasn’t there though that wasn’t surprising given that she was staying with Hanayo’s ex-boyfriend and his sisters now. Nozomi still didn’t really understand that arrangement but she had no desire to know.    
  
Nico was still in the hospital so she wasn’t there, nor was Hanayo.    
  
The door to Kotori’s apartment opened and Rin walked in with Emily right behind her. She looked surprised to see them all already there but a look of resolve quickly replaced the surprise on her face.    
  
“What did you need to tell us?” Umi asked, sitting up a little. “Is something wrong with Nico?”   
  
“No, nothing like that.” Rin stopped a few feet in front of the couch, nervously clasping her hands together. She was nervous about what she was going to say but she knew that she had to come out with it.    
  
“So what is it?” Eli asked impatiently.    
  
“I’m…” Rin cleared her throat. She knew they weren’t going to react well. “I’m going back home. We leave the day after tomorrow.”   
  
TBC.


End file.
